Thanksgiving “funnies”

  • Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by it’s diameter?
    A: Pumpkin Pi

  • As the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated, “Foiled again.”

  • Show us the man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and we’ll show you a man who quits cold turkey.
  • Where did the first corn come from?
    The stalk brought it.
  • How do you know you’ve eaten too much on Thanksgiving?
    You’re sweating gravy.
  • What do you call a gobbler who thinks he knows everything?
    A smirky turkey
  • The perfect turkey recipe for people who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out:10-12 lb. turkey
    1 cup melted butter
    3 cups stuffing
    2 cups uncooked popcorn
    salt/pepper to tastePreheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of oven.Listen for popping sounds.When the turkey blows the oven door open and flies across the room, it’s done!


May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious
and your pies take the prize,
and may your Thanksgiving dinner
stay off your thighs!


(Though this was posted in 2006, I am linking to it for Kelli’s “Giving Thanks” event this week rather than reposting it.)



More Thanksgiving -related content on this blog:

Thanksgiving Bible Study

Thanksgiving devotionals and readings are here.

Some Thanksgiving quotes are here.

More Thanksgiving quotes are here.

A “Redneck Thanksgiving” is here.

Thanksgiving poems are here and More Thanksgiving Poems are here.

8 thoughts on “Thanksgiving “funnies”

  1. Very corny, very good. I’ll have to remember them for the boys, they’re the kind of jokes they’d love. What’s yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

  2. Pingback: Thanksgiving poems « Stray Thoughts

  3. Pingback: Quotes on Thanksgiving and thankfulness « Stray Thoughts

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