Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites.

1. Our ladies’ meeting at church Monday night with one of my favorite people, a “retired” missionary with one of the merriest hearts I’ve ever known.

2. The poem I posted for Poetry Friday, “The Barefoot Boy.” Though my boys don’t explore outside in the summertime now like they did when they were little, this poem just brings back those memories of when the “great outdoors” of the back yard was a wonderland.

3. Puff’s Plus with lotion has been my best friend this week.

4. I’ve just become a convert to Ricola cough drops. I like Hall’s when I’m clogged up, but they do leave kind of an unpleasant aftertaste. My husband likes Ricola better, and I tried them last night and this morning. Very soothing for a sore throat.

(Forgive me, I don’t mean to sound like I am whining or sympathy-seeking by talking about my cold all week, but it has kind of been a major factor. I’m pretty much better except for post-nasal gunk irrituating my throat and making me cough.)

5. Dinner out with my boys at Fuddrucker’s — best burgers in town, though also about the most expensive, making them only an occasional treat, plus they have luscious fudge brownies. And root beer!!

And though my root beer spillage in my car was not a favorite thing, I just want to say a special thank you to my husband. He happened to be working at home that day, and when I told him about it, I was thinking I’d just need to sop up the mess with towels and then maybe try some carpet cleaner. Without being asked, he just stopped what he was doing, got the wet-vac (that thing has paid for itself many times over!) out of the shed, cleaned out the whole mess as well as the rest of the carpet in the van on a hot, humid day with sweat dripping, all without a word of complaint. I love that guy!

Poetry Friday: The Barefoot Boy

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Poetry Friday is hosted at Critique de Mr. Chompchomp today.

I posted this a couple of years ago, but it’s once again “boyhood’s time of June,” and with three boys, I just couldn’t resist. I love this poem. These are only two of the five stanzas.

barefoot-boy.jpg

Blessings on thee, little man,
Barefoot boy, with cheek of tan!
With thy turned-up pantaloons,
And thy merry whistled tunes;
With thy red lip, redder still
Kissed by strawberries on the hill;
With the sunshine on thy face,
Through thy torn brim’s jaunty grace;
From my heart I give thee joy,—
I was once a barefoot boy!
Prince thou art,—the grown-up man
Only is republican.
Let the million-dollared ride!
Barefoot, trudging at his side,
Thou hast more than he can buy
In the reach of ear and eye,—
Outward sunshine, inward joy:
Blessings on thee, barefoot boy!

Oh for boyhood’s time of June,
Crowding years in one brief moon,
When all things I heard or saw,
Me, their master, waited for.
I was rich in flowers and trees,
Humming-birds and honey-bees;
For my sport the squirrel played,
Plied the snouted mole his spade;
For my taste the blackberry cone
Purpled over hedge and stone;
Laughed the brook for my delight
Through the day and through the night,
Whispering at the garden wall,
Talked with me from fall to fall;
Mine the sand-rimmed pickerel pond,
Mine the walnut slopes beyond,
Mine, on bending orchard trees,
Apples of Hesperides!
Still as my horizon grew,
Larger grew my riches too;
All the world I saw or knew
Seemed a complex Chinese toy,
Fashioned for a barefoot boy!

From The Barefoot Boy by John Greenleaf Whittier (1855)

The picture is Boy and Dog in Nature by Eugene Iverd, from AllPosters.com.

Feeling blah

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I finished two books this morning and I started to review one, but the with the time of day it is already and the need to get some other things done and the desire to take great care with one of them, I think I’ll save it until I can do it justice.

I was amazed at the Ladies’ meeting Monday night that I felt great, and I thought, Wow, this must’ve been the shortest cold in history! But I think the Lord was just giving me a respite to get through the meeting. Over the weekend I had more of a foggy-brained and tried feeling with a few cold symptoms, but by Tuesday morning, the drippy nose and sore throat started picking up, joined now by a barking cough. Bleah. I’m not “feeling” as bad as I did over the weekend, but this part is a real nuisance!

I slept in this morning and need to go get dressed and get a few necessities done, but otherwise I don’t have great plans for the day.

I wanted to leave with you something I marked the other day. A few years ago I read Joy and Strength, a devotional book of verses, poems and quites by Mary Wilder Tileston, because it was recommended by Elisabeth Elliot, but it hasn’t been one of my favorites. Some parts of it are too “mystical” for me. Nevertheless parts of it did really speak to me, and off and on this year I’ve been recording quotes from it that I had marked. This one from June 8 was a rebuke to me:

Put on therefore, a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye.
COLOSSIANS 3:12,13 (R. V.)

THE discord is within, which jars
So sadly in life’s song;
‘Tis we, not they who are in fault,
When others seem so wrong.
FREDERICK WM. FABER

SELF-PREOCCUPATION, self-broodings, self-interest, self-love,–these are the reasons why you go jarring against your fellows. Turn your eyes off yourself; look up, and out! There are men, your brothers, and women, your sisters; they have needs that you can aid. Listen for their confidences; keep your heart wide open to their calls, and your hands alert for their service. Learn to give, and not to take; to drown your own hungry wants in the happiness of lending yourself to fulfil the interests of those nearest or dearest. Look up and out, from this narrow, cabined self of yours, and you will jar no longer; you will fret no more, you will provoke no more; but you will, to your own glad surprise, find the secret of “the meekness and the gentleness of Jesus”; and the fruits of the Spirit will all bud and blossom from out of your life.
HENRY SCOTT HOLLAND

Of lists and marriage

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Some time after posting about the Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s yesterday, I remembered making my own list when I was dating (not in the 1930s! More like the 1970s). It was kind of a popular thing to do when I was in college, to make a list of what you would look for in the guy you wanted to marry.

I don’t really remember what was on mine except for the first two items. I think I may still have it in a trunk out in the shed where other things from that era are: I am hoping we can clean the shed out one of these days and get to that trunk, and I hope everything survived and isn’t mildewed or eaten by bugs!

But, being a Christian, the first necessity on my list was to marry a Christian. Secondly, he needed to be a Christian not just “in name only,” but a genuine, growing, active Christian who lived out his faith.

I think probably the rest of the items had to do with general character qualities: kindness, even-temperedness, etc. I think such a list was a good thing in that it got girls’ minds off of just hair and eye color and height and all the physical attributes and on to character and personality, the more important things. It would be interesting to compare my original list to one I made for my sons about what Christian women want in a man.

The only problem with making a list, though, is that we might not be aware of what we need. For instance, somehow I didn’t realize at the time that I was a pretty tense person. I don’t think I realized it until after we were married a while and I saw that Jim was fairly laid back. If we’d both been as intensely tense as I was, we’d have driven each other crazy. But where I can get tied up in knots about something, he can deal with it clearly and calmly, and that’s such a blessing. Of course, it can be a source of conflict — if I am all stirred up about something and he’s not, it can seem like he’s not taking it seriously or he just doesn’t understand. But by this point in our married lives –we’ll celebrate our 30th anniversary in December — I know we just approach things differently. And I think we’ve balanced each other out some: I think I’m more relaxed now, at least in some areas. But I never would have thought to put something like that on a list.

I wrote the rest of our love story out here a few years ago.

On the other hand, we have to be careful not to be overly picky and fault-finding. I believe in settings standards high, and as someone once said, it it wise to keep eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterward. But, as I said yesterday, no one is going to be perfect.

I had written most of this post last night, then this morning at the end of ivman‘s post on Mergers and Marriages was a link to “What she wants in a man.” I should post it separately as it is long and this post is already long (and believe it or not, I am trying to write shorter posts ), and with two posts on marriage this week I don’t want to add a third and have it look like “marriage week” here. But this just fits too well. 🙂 Enjoy!

What She Wants in a Man, Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Imaginative and romantic

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Romantic at least once a week

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy foods I don’t like
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Snores only lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What She Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

Marital Rating Scale

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Carrie at Reading To Know recently posted this Marital Rating Scale from the 1930s which she saw at Crooked House.

Marital rating scale

There is an article in Monitor on Psychology about it here. It was developed by a psychologist to help marriages based on interviews with 600 husbands about wives’ positive and negative qualities. I thought it was fun to look at.

This must only be the first page, because there is no way to get a Superior rating even if you scored all merits and no demerits listed here.

I get 7 demerits and 17 merits. I do tend to stay up later than my husband and I’m not as timely as I should be about mending. I wouldn’t have the first clue about how to darn socks. Thankfully curling irons take the place of going to bed with curlers and I don’t wear hose at all any more, much less with seams. But, I agree, if you’re going to wear seamed nylons,  the seams need to be straight. 🙂 I do run late more often than I like — not for lack of trying to get places on time.

I think I’m an OK hostess and can carry on an interesting conversation. Meals aren’t always on time. No musical instruments, sorry! I don’t “dress” for breakfast except for a nightgown and robe, and my house isn’t always what I’d call tidy. It’s not a disaster area, but it’s not squeaky-clean. The kids generally put themselves to bed, though I do have devotions with Jesse at bedtime still. And I think I score ok on the last four items on the merit list — we get up for breakfast and church on Sundays, but I don’t wake him up until necessary.

Funny how it lists the wife being relgious and her and the children going to church. I am glad my husband takes us and doesn’t send us! And though I don’t wear red nail polish, I wonder what was considered wrong with it — probably too bold and racy in those days.

I don’t think I put cold feet on my husband, but it was funny in some of the comments on the other blogs, some thought that was a basic reason for getting married and should be written in the vows. 🙂

I wonder how a similar checklist would read today. I think some things would carry over — being clean, punctual, not flirting, etc., while the hose and nail polish issues are dated. Though we’re a traditional family, I don’t think things like putting the kids to bed belongs to one gender or the other.

There was a test for husbands, too, though this shows only the first half. Though I didn’t check off or tally up the scores, my husband rates pretty well. 🙂 But I could have told you that without a test. 😀

Though it’s fun, I don’t know how helpful this kind of thing would really be. Maybe if a couple was having trouble, this could get them started talking out the issues. But it could start one fault-finding. NO ONE is going to be perfect in anyone else’s estimation: we’re all going to have little foibles. Colossians 3:12-14 applies in marriage as much as anywhere else:

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

The indirect way to get your carpet in your car cleaned…

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1. Buy a large rather than the usual medium root beer.

2. Take a sip and put it in the cup holder.

3. Turn a corner while your hand is off the cup.

4. Watch it topple over onto the floor just beyond your outstretched hand.

Ups and Downs

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DOWN: Late Saturday afternoon I went from feeling fine to a full-blown head cold in the space of an hour.

UP: My husband offered to get breakfast out Sunday morning, the only time we usually have a sit-down family breakfast, and we had some “buy one, get one free” breakfast sandwich coupons for BK.

DOWN: I missed both services at church.

UP: I went back to bed and slept 2-3 hours, had a quiet restful day, spent a few hours in the evening reading, a rare treat.

UP: Hubby brought dinner/lunch in from KFC. Enough left over for munching on in the evening.

DOWN: I’m still not feeling so great.

DOWN: I was stunned to learn that a long-time very active member of the TMIC passed away, evidently from a blood clot. I don’t know how old she was, but she was younger than I am.

UP: One of my favorite people is coming for to speak at our ladies’ meeting tonight.

Planing to just lay low today except for doing laundry — getting extra rest seems to be the most helpful thing for me to get over sickness.I discovered that in the first year after TM when any illness would knock me flat — I got over colds and such much more quickly when I rested than when I tried to push through them. But I do plan to push through for the ladies’ meeting tonight.

Hope you have a good Monday!

Up and Down format borrowed from Bet.

Book Review: Every Now and Then

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Every Now and Then Every Now and Then is the third in Karen Kingsbury’s 911 series dealing with various people affected by the tragedy of 9/11. Though the major characters from the previous books are also in this story, it can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone book as well.

Alex Brady’s father was a firefighter who died on the job when the Twin Towers collapsed on 9/11. Alex had been a teen-ager with everything going for him — good grades, good family, sweet girlfriend — but he shut down after 9/11. He closed himself off to everyone else in his life and moved away to California. Since he felt God had failed him in allowing the bad guys this horrendous victory, he made it his mission to take as many of them off the street as he could and to prevent tragedies from happening to others. He became a sheriff’s deputy with the K-9 unit, establishing a reputation for courage, bravery and dedication — almost to the point of recklessness and danger. Alex was totally unaware that his boss’s family and circle of friends, who were trying to include Alex, had also been personally affected by 9/11, nor that the girl he loved and turned away now lived in the area.

Eco-terrorists  targeted some of the higher-end residential building sites for arson to make their point that excess and affluence was taking a toll on the environment. Alex decided to infiltrate the organization on his own time to try to find the leaders and stop them.

Though I could tell fairly early where the plot was going to lead, the climax still had me riveted, on the edge of my seat. The plot line seemed more realistic to me than the previous two books, and Alex’s struggles in regard to the evil God allows in the world are some that every thinking Christian wrestles with. Karen brings up some points in that regard that are new to me and very helpful.

There were just a few problems I had with the book. The most minor one I’ve mentioned before when reviewing Karen’s books, and that is her penchant for ending chapters with a sentence fragment, as well as sprinkling them throughout. It can be done every now and then for effect, but when it becomes a noticeable habit, it loses its effect. Secondly, it seems odd that a group concerned about the environment would make a point with arson, which is bad for the environment, especially during California’s windy season. That point is made several times in the story, and I suppose the idea is that the terrorist group is not really interested in the environment at all. My last “issue” is a theological and therefore more major one: at the beginning of the book it seems that Alex is a believer, but he turns his back on God in bitterness and grief. Yet in the midst of a fire, he “wondered… if this was what hell felt like…maybe he was about to find out” (p. 263). If he was a true believer, he wouldn’t be facing hell.

Karen’s books are always easy to read, her characters likable and easy to relate to, and her plot lines easily draw one in, while she deals effectively with issues of the heart. This was my favorite of the books in this series.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of books and Callapidder Days’ Spring Reading Thing Reviews.)

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites.

1. This was our first week of summer vacation! Whoo hoo! I enjoyed not setting the alarm clock at all for a couple of days, but found it would get to be about noon by the time I got up, ate, had devotions, showererd, and messed around on the computer a little. I didn’t like getting going that late, so I have set the alarm the last several days — but still two hours later than on school days. 7 is a much better wake-up time than 5!

2. Great American Cookie Company peanut butter cookies. My oldest two went to the mall to look around and brought me some cookies!

3. Root beer…from Jack in the Box. I have to drink decaf because of a heart rhythm problem, and I just don’t care much for Sprite or 7-Up.  We have an A&W here, but their root beer tastes to me like it has vanilla added. I discovered Jack sold it, and I often will stop there for one while out running errands — so often that now they know me there. After I ordered at the drive-through Thursday, when I pulled to the window the girl said, “I knew it was you!” Oddly enough I’m not really crazy about it from a can or bottle at home. There’s just something about the fountain root beer at Jack in the Box that’s just right to me. (And no, this isn’t a commercial. 🙂 )

4. Getting caught up with some errands and housekeeping chores that have been piling up and waiting for me the last couple of weeks. Not that I haven’t cleaned in that time, but I was behind on a few tasks, and am glad to have more or less caught up.

5. The first class wedding stamp used on my son’s wedding invitations:

weddingstamp

Isn’t that lovely?

Though I didn’t want to list THREE food items — that would be a little embarrassing — I probably could have done a whole fave five listing foods this week. But I did want to mention one more. I had made creamed chicken and biscuits (didn’t make the biscuits from scratch, though) one night earlier this week, and when making the white sauce, I had a temporary memory lapse and forgot that a whole stick of margarine was 1/2 a cup instead of 1/4 a cup. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that until after I’d already melted it and added 1/4 flour and wondered why it still looked so liquidy. There was nothing else I could do but add another 1/4 cup of flour and double the milk, as well, to make a double portion. I separated out about half the white sauce, wondering what I was going to do with it, when later on the idea came that I could get some sausage and brown it, mix it with the leftover white sauce, and voila — sausage gravy over the leftover biscuits. Just had that for breakfast — scrumptious! I don’t think I have ever made that at home and only rarely have it eating out.

You can find more fave fives or join in on the fun at Susanne‘s.