Thursday Thirteen #18: New Year’s Resolutions for Dogs

This list is not original with me — I received it in an e-mail years ago, author unknown.

New Year’s Resolutions for Dogs:

1. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

2. Understand the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

3. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

5. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

9. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard.

10. I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

11. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

12. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

13. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

May your dog, if you have one, keep them all. 🙂

See more Thursday Thirteens here.

24 thoughts on “Thursday Thirteen #18: New Year’s Resolutions for Dogs”

LOL What a great list! I haven’t heard that one before. Thanks for posting it. 🙂

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These are too funny and so true!

LOL! 😀 Too funny! Thanks for the laughs. 🙂

LMAO!!!! I don’t have a dog anymore, but I did and she was so bad about standing up after laying down under a table. This is awesome. I”m going to pass this to a friend who has Huskies.

My 13 are up. I moved my blog so this is the first 13 in my new digs.

These are so funny, thanks for sharing. Happy TT & have a blessed New Year!

Oh man, do my dogs need to see this. I think I’ll print it out and put it on the fridge at doggie eye level!

For my dog, I need to add,

“I will not bark at the person in the drive-thru window when they take our money.”

“I will not chew off the cap from any container, especially the glue.”

‘I will learn to tell my mommy when I need to go outside by some means.”

oh, this is soooo funny!!!!

Blessings,
Karla

I need to share this with my three!!!! They still won’t change though!! lol

Happy New Year!!!

Very Cute! Thanks for sharing and happy New Year!

We get the standing up under the table from time to time… ouch.

lol! I wish I had a dog to keep those resolutions 🙂 Happy Thursday and a Happy New Year!

Very cute…though I don’t have a dog…I have a cat! LOL

As for going on a cruise…try it, you’ll like it! It’s so much fun!

That’s hilarious! I have to pass this on to my parents. They have a severly overweight Chihuahua that they baby…

Happy TT!

Very cute! Thanks for the giggle and thanks for stopping by my TT. Happy New Year.

Great TT… Deb and I are Big Dog People and I know our two think of about 7 or 8 of those.

Thanks for the Read Mitch

Hahahaha! The doorbell one cracked me up! I have one of those dogs; she doesn’t bark, but she does run for the door and we have NEVER had a door bell since she’s been born. I don’t know where she gets it!

Happy TT!

Can you tell my dog about these??!! Pleez?

My TT13 is up 🙂

Great list! I read it aloud to my dogs. Sam looked guilty – he’ll fess up to something even if he DIDN’T do it! And Buddy looked at me indignantly… Buddy does not believe he is a dog. I hope you enjoy the rest of this holiday week, and may 2007 hold many surprises and blessings for you! Thanks for stopping by, and Happy TTing –
DK