September Reflections

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September Reflections

Those first cool breezes of fall have arrived this week and felt so lovely! The leaves are just starting to change, and I hope they take their time about it. I when the leaf color changeover is slow and steady rather than quick. I suppose the weather and water levels might effect how that goes.

Family activities

My TX family came to visit the first week this month, spending a couple of days here and then driving don to SC to see family there. We didn’t have any major outings–just thrift shopping, discovering a new restaurant, and lots of eating and talking. We had such a good time. I hope it is not another four years before we do it again.

We celebrated my youngest son’s 33rd birthday, and Jason, Mittu, and Timothy had us over for Grandparent’s Day.

The last half of the month did not go so well, with an extended bout of atrial fibrillation and a sore throat. But things are better on both fronts now.

Creating

I made just one card this month, for Jesse’s birthday.

Medieval birthday card

He likes both video games and medieval stuff, so sometimes I go one way and sometimes the other. This design was one from the Cricut.

Watching

We like watching series because then you don’t have to think about what to watch next. You just go to the next episode. But we were between series, so we caught a few movies.

I Can Only Imagine 2 is, as the title suggests, the sequel to I Can Only Imagine. The first film tells the story of Bart Milland of Mercy Me: his mother leaving, living with his abusive father, trying to start a band that didn’t get much traction until he wrote the song “I Can Only Imagine” based on his fathers transformation after he came to know the Lord. After all those positives, Bart hit bottom again. Though he reconciled with his father, he still had pain from his past. He felt he didn’t know how to parent well due to not having a good example. His oldest son developed juvenile diabetes. Their relationship was not good. A man who was the band’s opening act who was also dying of cancer helps point Bart back to finding meaning, purpose, and faith even in suffering, leading to their song “Even If.”

We don’t watch movies like this very often, but we saw The Quiet Place and The Quiet Place Part 2 about murderous aliens that invade earth who can’t see but have very sensitive hearing. It was quite intense! The first one has very little dialogue but a lot of sign language, thankfully with subtitles. I liked the strong sense of family. The second one has a few bad words.

Love Across Time was in Prime Video and is about an American real estate agent whose bank merges with an English one. She has to travel to England to decide what to do about some old estates. She stays in one and finds in the basement a mirror that, instead of showing her reflection, shows someone dressed up like an English lord. Turns out he is an English lord from 1799. They talk, and when she has an allergic reaction, he comes through the mirror to rescue her. But then he can’t get back. He investigates modern life while she tries to figure out how the mirror works. And, of course, they fall in love. This was kind of cute. There was nothing objectionable except for one character’s consultation about the possible mystical reasons the mirror operates as it does, but then they decide it’s someone ties to certain phases of the moon.

Even though we’re not into Star Wars, we had enjoyed The Mandalorian a few years back. But we hadn’t kept up with the story as it carried on through various other programs. We did catch The Mandalorian and Grogu and enjoyed it.

Then we did find a couple of short series. We watched The Hardacres while subscribed to Britbox for a while. The title family worked on the Yorkshire fish docks in the 1890s until the father is injured and the mother loses her job. They begin their own enterprise, and when they do well, they seek financial counsel. When the gold mine they invest in strikes it rich, they buy a mansion and try to make a home in high class society–which doesn’t always go well. This is mostly clean except there are a couple of instances of people waking up next to someone they should not have been with, but nothing explicit is shown.

I got frustrated with Britbox with showing all but the last few episodes of the second season, requiring at that point subscription to the next level of Britbox, which is charged for a year at a time rather than monthly and for which no refund is given if you cancel.

We also discovered When Hope Calls. It’s a spin-off of the wildly popular When Calls the Heart on Hallmark. I had seen the first four seasons of When Calls the Heart years ago when it was available on something else (I forget what). But then I couldn’t see the rest of it without subscribing to Hallmark, which I didn’t want to do at the time. I think this new series was on Hallmark, but the first two seasons are available for a time on Netflix. The third season, for some reason, is on Great American Pureflix. The premise is that two orphaned sisters who were separated when their parents died find each other as adults and start an orphanage in a small prairie town in Canada in the early 190s. Oddly, though, one sister quits the series at the end of the first season, and the other shortly thereafter. A previously unknown aunt come to take over the orphanage. We also get to know some of the quirky townspeople. The show is squeaky clean and very Hallmark-ish.

Finally, we’re currently watching the second season of Crossroad Springs, also on Pureflix. It’s a Christian series, or at least somewhat so, about a pastor who comes to help his rancher father during a crisis. In the first season, the pastor was planning to head back to Chicago. But he finds ways he can be used in this small town. The second season seems to be about developing relationships and dealing with an unethical neighbor. The show is clean and wholesome, but it suffers from what a lot of early Christian films did. It almost seems fakey, though it’s not meant to be.

Reading

Since last time I have finished (titles link to my reviews):

  • A Small Book for the Anxious Heart: Meditations on Fear, Worry, and Trust by Ed Welch. Good.
  • Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. Good.
  • The Scent of Water by Elizabeth Goudge, fiction, audiobook, a story of renewal in several forms. A middle-aged woman from London moves to the house her aunt left her in the country. Good.
  • The Bird in the Tree by Elizabeth Goudge, fiction. The first of her Elliot family trilogy. Very good.
  • Mr. Harrison’s Confessions (novella) by Elizabeth Gaskell. A cute story about a young man coming to his first position as a doctor but whose boss/mentor doesn’t want him to vary from the old established practices. Then he finds himself engaged to the women at once without knowing how that happened.
  • The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith, fiction, audiobook, about a vicar with Job-like troubles. An older classic mentioned in a lot of other classics. I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I thought I would.
  • The Lost Story of Via Belle by Melanie Dobson, fiction, audiobook. A dual time novel in which a prolific novel-writer falls for a man who turns out to be a disaster. She disappears with no one ever knowing what became of her. A fledgling screenwriter who grew up with her books comes to the area in modern times and tries to piece together what happened. Good.
  • Every Given Day by Cathy Gohlke, fiction, audiobook. Set at the end of and just after WWI, first the Spanish flu epidemic breaks out and causes devastation. Then a great number of children who survived the flu came down with juvenile diabetes, a fatal diagnosis at the time. This story takes us one one family’s journey and the near-miraculous discovery of insulin. Good.
  • How People Change by Paul David Tripp and and Timothy S. Lane. Review coming soon!

I’m currently reading:

  • In His Image: 10 Ways God Calls Us to Reflect His Character by Jen Wilkin with a friend.
  • James: Walking in Wisdom by Lydia Brownback with the ladies’ Bible study group at church.
  • Beyond the Snow: The Life and Faith of Elizabeth Goudge by Christine Rawlins
  • The Powerful Purpose of Introverts by Holley Gerth
  • Things We Cannot Keep by Amanda Cox.
  • Anna and Her Daughters by D. E. Stevenson, audiobook.

Blogging

Besides the weekly Friday Fave Fives, Saturday Laudable Linkage, and book reviews, I’ve posted these since last time:

  • Opinions. We all have them, but should we always express them?
  • When You Have to Keep Going. God has created us to need rest, but sometimes we have to keep going and rely on His strength beyond our normal capacity.
  • Do You Want Peace? We can pray for it, but God has also provided some means to pursue it.
  • Grace vs. Presumption. We need to give ourselves and others grace when we’re not at our best. But we shouldn’t go so far as to be presumptuous that we have an excuse to sin at those times.
  • Stay in the Rough Waters. A whitewater rafting guide in Africa cautioned that, if you fall out of your boat, you shouldn’t swim towards the quieter waters near the shore: that’s where the crocodiles lie in wait. Our instinct is to seek quietness and calm. But God is with us in troubled waters until He brings us into a calmer place.

Writing

My turn to present a chapter to our critique group is coming up, so I’ve been working away on that. When I do get into my manuscript again, I see how much work it needs and want to delve into it more. But I’m still struggling with making time.

Looking ahead

Thankfully, the calendar isn’t too packed for next month. We’ll decorate pumpkins one night with the kids. I have a dentist’s appointment mid-month, then a pre-op appointment near the end for some oral surgery on my tongue early in November. I am not looking forward to that, but I am looking forward to getting it over with.

How was your September?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Every Given Day

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Every Given Day by Cathy Gohlke is set in New York City, 1918, and is inspired by true events.

Gwen Armstrong had taken care of her little sister, Marion, after her mother died of consumption (tuberculosis). When the time came that Marion would take care of their father so Gwen could pursue her dreams, instead, Marion married the man Gwen thought she’d had an understanding with. The sisters had little contact for twelve years.

In the meantime, their father died and Gwen took a job as a teacher. Then Gwen receives a letter from Marion. She has tuberculosis and wants Gwen to come and tutor her two children.

Gwen feels she can’t tell Marion no in her hour of need. Plus this gives her a chance to get out of the small town she has been tied to for years.

When Gwen arrives in NYC, Marion has already been sent to the sanatorium. Spanish flu is raging through the city, and the house has been put under quarantine. No visitors are allowed, because if any of them caught the flu, it could have fatal consequences for Marion.

Gwen settles into a new routine with the children, Alistair and Clara, with help from the housekeeper, Mrs. Barrie. Russell, Marion’s husband, is away most of the time on business. There are strange cars and trucks that come in the middle of the night every few weeks, but Russell says they are for his business and not to worry about them. He buys and sells antiquities from archeological digs in Egypt, Cairo, and other places.

Despite the family’s best efforts, however, the Spanish flu hits them, leaving devastating losses.

And the Alastair develops juvenile diabetes. The number of cases increases in the wake of the Spanish flu epidemic. Also known as the “wasting disease,” juvenile diabetes is a death sentence at that time.

One doctor has developed a diet for children with diabetes, but it is nicknamed the starvation diet and very controversial. It’s not a cure, but it holds out hope to keep children alive until help can be found. There is promising research with a recently-discovered hormone called insulin. But it’s so far from being available. It’s in an unpurified form and needs testing and processing for distribution. Will it come in time to save Alistair?

The author was inspired to write this story because her own granddaughter developed Type 1, or juvenile diabetes, after a bout of Covid. In fact, there was a higher outbreak of Type 1 diabetes cases after Covid just like there was after the Spanish flu.

Thankfully, the audiobook (nicely read by Aimee Lily) did include the author’s notes this time and shared how she wove the real facts about insulin discovery and usage into this story. One of her interviews here tells a little about this miraculous discovery and the rough road to its availability.

The first part of the novel, dealing with the Spanish flu, sounded eerily like our Covid epidemic, with masks being required in public and disagreements about whether isolation was helpful or harmful.

Interest in Egypt was at an all-time high in this era, too. And there was a fun cross-pollination of reading interests when this book told of Howard Carter’s and Lord Carnarvon’s discovery of King Tut’s tomb. Lord Carnarvon owned Highclere Castle, home of the fictional Downton Abbey. I had read of this historic find a couple of years ago in Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey: The Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle, written by the current Countess of Carnarvon.

There’s an undercurrent of a faith element as Gwen has only a passing belief in God, fights for control in Alistair’s treatment, and ultimately has to surrender him to God.

It’s not much of a spoiler to say that Russel is a jerk from the beginning. I couldn’t understand Gwen’s being taken in by his “charm.” And I felt the story dragged just a little about three-fourths of the way through, going through the same arguments over Alastair’s treatment and Russell’s demands of Gwen.

But overall, I enjoyed this story very much. Juvenile diabetes is still no picnic, but I am thankful for God’s gift of insulin.

Stay in the Rough Waters

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Stay in the rough waters

While I was making breakfast one morning last week, I listened to Dr. Stephen Davey’s radio program, Wisdom for the Heart. He told one man’s account of preparing to go white-water rafting at the base of Victoria Falls in Africa. He said the highest class of rapids one can legally take a raft on in the US is Class 5. These rapids were Class 8.

Among the guide’s instructions were these: when (not if, but when) your raft overturns, stay in the rough waters. He said your first instinct is to make it to the shore where the waters are still and quiet. However, you don’t want to do that because that’s where the crocodiles are.

I am not planning to ever go white water rafting. But when I am in life’s rough waters, my first instinct is to get out of them as soon as possible. When life is calm again, then I’ll be ready to learn whatever lessons I need to.

Yet life doesn’t work that way. God wants us to trust Him in the rough waters as well as the still ones.

Sometimes you have to let the waters take you to their expected end. Sometimes there are hidden dangers in what seems safe.

That same morning, I had read Exodus 5 and 6 where Moses approached Pharaoh for the first time to tell him God had said to let the Israelites go three days’ journey into the wilderness to sacrifice to the Lord. Pharaoh, of course, did not consent. In addition, he stopped supplying them with brick-making material, told them to find their own, yet required the same quota of bricks for them.

The people were upset with Moses for making life worse for them. Moses cried out to God. Why have you brought this trouble on Your people? Why have you sent me here? You haven’t delivered Your people (with the seeming implication, “Like you said you would”).

God was going to keep His promises. He loved His people and was going to deliver them from Egypt’s oppression. But He had a larger purpose. In Exodus 6:7, God told Moses, “You shall know that I am the LORD your God.” But in 7:5, He also said, “The Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD.”

The process would take time and be difficult. But they would see the hand of the Lord like never before.

Similarly, after Israel was freed from Egypt and standing at the edge of the land God had promised to them, they refused to go in. It was going to be too difficult, too dangerous, too much work. They had God’s promises plus the experience of seeing all He did to deliver them from Egypt. But they wanted to play it safe. For their unbelief and disobedience, they were made to wander forty years in the wilderness.

Sometimes troubled waters come on us unexpectedly, like the Israelites in Egypt. What’s happening doesn’t seem like an answer to prayer. In fact, the situation seems the opposite of answered prayer. But God sees the bigger picture. He often has more in mind than we know. He knows what He wants to accomplish, where He plans to lead us, and how He will take care of us.

Sometimes, like the Israelites just outside the promised land, we foresee real or imagined difficulties ahead. Even though we’ve followed God’s leading and we’re right where He wants us, even though we have His promises and experience with His power, we decide the rough waters are just going to be too hard.

Dr. Davey didn’t share the rest of the guide’s instructions. I assume if you fall into rough waters, you let the waves carry you until you can either get back into the raft or until you come to a calmer place that doesn’t have crocodiles.

The psalmist tells of people caught in a storm at sea who, after a harrowing journey, were brought to quiet waters in “their desired haven” (Psalm 107:23-32).

The disciples experienced something similar when they got caught in a storm on a lake. Jesus rebuked the wind and told the sea to be still. (Mark 4:36-41). “And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”

Whatever metaphorical rough waters we might be facing–an unexpected diagnosis, family problems, financial troubles, relational woes, and many others–there are really no options but to ride the waves through the situation. Yet we have His promise that “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you” (Isaiah 43:2).

Then, with the psalmist we can say, “For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. . . . we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance) (Psalm 66:10, 12).

Isaiah 43:2

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable Linkage

I got caught up on some blog reading this week, so I have quite a few good articles to share:

Am I Good Enough? HT to Challies. “No matter what stage I was in or how much effort I put in, the feeling was always the same at the end of the day: it still wasn’t enough. There was always something more I should have done or done better. Maybe your story looks different from mine, but I imagine you’ve felt like you’re falling short of expectations—from the people around you, from your own inner voice, or even from what you think God expects of you.”

You Must Go On. You Can’t Go On. You Will Go On. HT to Challies. “God brings His people to do what they do not have the power to do themselves (walk on water, Peter) and God’s people choose to respond, knowing they can’t, but trusting that somehow—in some way—God will meet them with the power they need.”

A Three-Read Method for Understanding Scripture. HT to Challies. “A single pass over a passage, followed by a sprint towards meaning and application, will tend to produce either cold, informed Christians who never really worship, or busy and obedient Christians who never learn to delight. Our study needs to affect our whole being. It needs to impact our minds, affections, and will. There are methods that are close to what I do, but they mainly focus on the mind and will, while skipping the affections. The Beholding Method is my approach to improving this.”

Watered Women of the Word. “As rainwater replenishes gardens, we see the whole garden grow and each drop of rain is needed to bring forth the harvest. So it is with the Body of Christ. As we drink in Christ’s living water, it soaks into our hearts and replenishes us with His soul quenching love. Over the course of a fruitful season in the Word, I had the privilege to watch one woman water the seeds of faith in two precious beloveds, drop by drop of kindness, care, attentiveness, and love.”

On Women Who Think They Regret Motherhood. “A mother loves without condition, without reservation, without regret. I’ve seen podcasters frame this trend as women revealing that they hate their children. I disagree. These women love their children. But their love for their kids is being overshadowed by what I’m convinced is Satan’s most effective strategy to keep humans from flourishing, doing good, experiencing joy, or seeking God.”

Are You a Contentious Wife? HT to Challies. “This past Sunday I preached a sermon that contrasts two types of wives. One is a crown (Proverbs 12:4), and the other is contentious (Proverbs 19:13). One builds her home, while the other tears it down. One strengthens her husband, while the other slowly crushes him. One makes home a place of peace, while the other turns it into a war zone.”

2 Ways to Fail Your Child, HT to Challies. “There are two ways to fail your child, and they move in opposite directions. You can fail by keeping too much out. . . . You can also fail by letting too much in. . . . Both are failures of love. Most of us are guilty of one of them, and probably both at some point.”

Where Is God When Sleep Won’t Come? HT to Challies. “It’s difficult to overstate just how desperate I felt when I’d still be awake at 4:00am, 5:00am, and then 6:00am when the alarm would sound and the day would officially begin. Many nights I despaired. But then slowly, over time, a surprising thing happened: God trained me, as he has countless others of his children, to ‘kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.'”

When People Say Things About You. “So how should a Christian respond when people talk about us? I don’t think the answer is to believe everything people say about us. But neither is the answer to dismiss everything people say about us. Scripture calls us to respond with both humility and discernment. Here are four principles that have helped me think through this.”

How to Have a Soft Heart. “As women, we work hard to hide the visible marks of wear. We’re encouraged to roll ice over tired eyes and add concealer to circles revealing sleepless nights. But it isn’t just our bodies that carry evidence of hard days. Our hearts can weather too.”

10 Reasons Marxism Is Bad for Humanity, HT to Challies. “This type of message may be popular. But is it true? Hardly. Beginning with God’s Word as our standard for truth, let’s look at 10 reasons why Marxism is bad news for humanity.”

Your Social Media Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story. “Rage-stoking flaws and failures in churches move to the top of our news feed. But far more common is the care and generosity that takes place among Christians. As a pastor, I have a front-row seat in this theater of love.”

Don’t let me ever think, dear God, that I was anything but the instrument for Your story.
–Flannery O’Connor

Friday’s Fave Five

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Friday's Fave Five

Thank you for your encouragement and prayers concerning my not-so-great week last week. This week has been better. The microwave still isn’t fixed. But we’ll manage. 🙂 My heart rate is back to normal though the rhythm isn’t completely there yet. But I feel much better this week.

When some things are going wrong, they fill our vision until that’s all we can see. But this practice of looking for God’s hand whether the week seems good or bad reminds us that He is always with us and showers many more blessings on us than we often realize. I’m thankful Susanne at Living to Tell the Story began and still encourages this practice not only of gratefulness, but of sharing with others to encourage them as well.

On to this week:

1. The first day of fall! We’re starting to see a little change of color in the leaves. But I mainly enjoy knowing that the high temperatures of summer will soon give way. In fact, our forecast shows highs in the 70s and lows in the 50s the next several days.

2. Avoiding a cold. I had a painful sore throat earlier this week and was afraid it was going to progress to head or chest congestion. Thankfully it never did and feels better now.

3. Much-needed rain. Thankfully, it was mostly a gentle, pleasant rain.

4. Culver’s. I may have mentioned them before. Though they promote mainly their burgers, we like that they have a variety of options to choose from. I like their Beef Pot Roast sandwich and Crispy Shrimp, among other things.

5. Book discussion. Our writing critique group starts our sessions with an icebreaker question. This week we talked about favorite novels that involved books–either set in a bookstore or library or having a lot of bookish references (or if they hadn’t read a books like that, they could mention a favorite character from a novel). The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society was mentioned most often, both the book and the movie. It was an enjoyable discussion that I wish could have gone on for hours.

Simple blessings for a fairly low-key week–a blessing in itself.

How was your week?

A Small Book for the Anxious Heart

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Anxious Heart

It seems some battles in the Christian life are fought and won all at once. I’ve heard testimonies of people who were almost instantly delivered from alcoholism or addiction or something else when they first become Christians.

For others, dealing with those temptations or others is a continual battle. Take selfishness, for instance. I can’t say, “I will never be selfish again!” Well, I could say it. But I would likely fail before the day is out.

Anxiety is like that for me. I’ve done Bible studies on it, read books about it, listened to sermons about it, and gotten victory for a while–until a new round of “what ifs” come up. Then I have to remind myself of all the truths I’ve learned before.

I read Ed Welch’s Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest several years ago in the weeks leading up to a surgery, and it was a big help. So when I saw A Small Book for the Anxious Heart: Meditations on Fear, Worry and Trust by the same author, I got it, too.

As the title says, this is a small book, a little over 4×6 inches. It’s made up of fifty short meditations. So it’s not a full treatise on anxiety. Some people would not be able to take in a larger book, so this one has purposefully been broken down into bite-sized pieces.

Some of the meditations deal with anxiety and fear generally. Some discuss particular fears; others particular passages of Scripture. Each meditation ends with a couple of discussion questions.

You often hear that you can’t experience fear and faith at the same time. Welch disagrees. He says:

Faith in Jesus will not replace your fears. Instead your faith will coexist with your fears and begin to quiet them. You will learn, by faith, to see your life from Jesus’ perspective and to trust that he is your ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1) (p. 64).

Welch says that dealing with anxieties is not a matter of trying different treatments to find one that works, but of learning skills to deal with them. Change takes time:

A skill improves with practice, and some days you are better at it that others . . . It is not the disappearance of our anxieties that make us most fully human; it is that we call out to the Lord on good days and bad days. Change is measured by how we turn to Jesus in our fears. Fears and anxieties will come, so you can’t measure growth by whether they exist or not (pp. 94-95).

Here are some of the other quotes that most resonated with me:

When you put your faith in him, then Jesus is your shepherd. You need a shepherd; he is pleased to be your full-time, night-and-day shepherd. As you let go of self-trust and personal strategies for self-protection, you put your trust in him instead (p. 15).

You do not know the entire story. The end remains to be written, and the end determines the meaning of everything before it (p. 24).

There are good reasons to worry. The dilemma is that worries tell you to take matters into your own hands, but that message needs to be altered to say, “What a perfect opportunity to trust the God who is strong, loving, and faithful (p. 29).

Fear and worry can be the misuse of a fine imagination. Imagine instead an angel army surrounding you and yours [like in 2 Kings 6: 15-17]. How might that change your internal conversation about your worries? (p. 90).

[Re God giving needed grace each day like He gave the Israelites manna] When you try to think about tomorrow without having yet received power for tomorrow, you will be anxious (p. 98).

Fear . . . will not lose its power unless it is examined (p. 145).

I believe Running Scared was a bigger help to me than this book, but then, it was meant to be a little more comprehensive than this one. This book did encourage me by reminding of truths I’d read before but also sharing some new thoughts.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Grace vs. Presumption

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Grace vs. Presumption

A while back, I saw a plethora of memes and tee shirts with sayings that started out, “Forgive me for what I said when I was . . . .” The sentence finished in various ways, “hangry” and “hormonal” being the two I saw most.

We all know those situations when we’re not at our best–when we’re hungry, tired, or stretched to our limits. When hormones are raging. When in traffic jams. When someone else is short with us. For an introvert, it may be when they’ve been in social situations for hours and just want to get back to the quietness of their rooms.

It’s good to take these things into account when interacting with others. When a toddler is having a meltdown in the grocery store because errands have taken too long and he’s hungry and tired, a lecture on discipline isn’t going to do the trick. If a husband comes home frustrated over a situation at work, that may not be the best time for a sensitive heart-to-heart discussion. When a woman is in the last throes of labor, we understand she has a lot going on physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and she may say things she usually wouldn’t.

While we give grace to others, we need to give grace to ourselves as well. Someone has said that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. It’s not self-indulgent to take care of whatever the underlying problem is.

In fact, I have always been touched by how God dealt with Elijah. In 1 Kings 18, Elijah has a showdown with the prophets of Baal. They’re to set up a sacrifice to their god and ask him to answer by fire. Elijah does the same. Nothing happens to the sacrifice for Baal, though they pray and cry and even cut themselves. But Elijah has water poured over his sacrifice three times, and even still, God sends fire that burns up the sacrifice and dries up the water.

But then in chapter nineteen, Queen Jezebel threatens Elijah’s life. He flees a day’s journey into the wilderness and asks to die.

It’s significant that before God even begins to deal with Elijah, He allows Him to sleep for a while and then sends an angel with food and drink. He took care of the prophet’s physical needs before talking with him about what was going on in his heart.

And sometimes we need to do that with ourselves and others.

However . . . there’s a difference between taking care of physical and emotional needs and being presumptuous. If I am “hangry,” I need to get something to eat as soon as possible, but that doesn’t give me a right to lash out at everyone in my path until I do.

If I am over-tired, I need to rest as soon as I can. But sometimes there is no rest in sight. That doesn’t mean I am justified in being short-tempered with people. It just means I need grace even more to carry on.

I used to wrestle with how in the world to be civil, much less nice to people, when hormones were raging. I’ve known women whose whole households (and in one case, the whole church) were turned upside down during their time of the month. There are things that can help, and we need to understand hormones are real factors. But we don’t abandon all self-control and just give way.

I almost titled this post, “There are no exception clauses to being filled with the Spirit” or to holiness. But I thought that might sound a little harsh. It’s true, though, that the Bible doesn’t say “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 3:22-23)–except when you’re over-tired. Or “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3)–except when you’re hormonal.

In one of Amy Carmichael’s books, in the midst of her own health problems, she wrote:

This prayer was written for the ill and for the very tired. It is so easy to fail when not feeling fit. As I thought of them, I also remembered those who, thank God, are not ill and yet can be hard-pressed. Sometimes in the midst of the rush of things it seems impossible always to be peaceful, always to be inwardly sweet. Is that not so? Yet that and nothing less is our high calling. So the prayer is really for us all.

Before the winds that blow do cease,
Teach me to dwell within Thy calm;
Before the pain has passed in peace,
Give me, my God, to sing a psalm,
Let me not lose the chance to prove
The fulness of enabling love,
O Love of God, do this for me;
Maintain a constant victory.

Before I leave the desert land
For meadows of immortal flowers,
Lead me where streams at Thy command
Flow by the borders of the hours,
That when the thirsty come, I may
Show them the fountains in the way.
O Love of God, do this for me;
Maintain a constant victory.

I don’t always think in terms of constant victory. Do you? My first reaction is, “I’m only human.”

I am only human. But that’s not an excuse to sin when circumstances are more trying than usual. It just means I need God’s grace even more.

That passage in 2 Peter goes on to say, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

We have God’s Word, His “precious and very great promises” by which we know Him and fellowship with Him. We have the example of Christ, who resisted Satan’s temptations in the wilderness when He was more hungry and tired than we’ll ever be (Matthew 4:1-11). We have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We have “all things that pertain to life and godliness” through “His divine power!”

That doesn’t mean we paste on fake smiles and constantly say “Everything’s fine” when it’s not. We can be honest about our struggles while still seeking God’s grace in them. I think of people like Joni Eareckson Tada and Elisabeth Elliot who have been transparent and real about what they’ve gone through yet inspire us by their responses.

God’s grace covers us when we fail. But He also gives grace not to fail when we seek it.

I hope you understand I am not trying to heap guilt on anyone or expect perfection. I write not as one who has mastered these things, but as one who needs these reminders. There is room in the Christian life for lament, anguish, and pouring out the depths of our hearts. Our Father “knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust,” and “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him” (Psalm 103:13-14).

But in our trials, may our heart’s desire be, “Let me not lose the chance to prove The fulness of enabling love.”

Psalm 61:2

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable linkage

Some of the blog posts that stood out to me this week:

The Face We All Look For, HT to the Story Warren. “Somewhere deep in their little hearts, children know attention equals value and belonging, for we give our time and eyes to the things we value most. To a child, attention is also affection, and they long to be the objects of our affection.” “Believers, when we gaze on the person and work of Christ, we find the one our souls long for. We find home. Because of Christ’s redemptive work, we who were once blind now see with open eyes and can behold his beauty.”

By No Means Pardon the Guilty, HT to Challies “If we are willing to legalize abortion up until the point of birth, I assure you, we have been desensitized to the value of life and are unable to discern evil from good. We are not walking in Truth.”

Devotions: Duty or Delight? “Many people are hesitant to do their devotions if they don’t feel like it. After all, if they only read their Bible out of discipline, that would be hypocritical. Authenticity is all the rage these days. Reading my Bible if I don’t really want to read my Bible seems inauthentic. Warnings about checklist Christianity abound and are not entirely without merit. A Christianity that is based on merely doing the right things so that God will like me is no way to go about Christianity. But does that mean I should not read my Bible if doing so would seem fake?”

Seven Reasons Why Churches Fail. “All ministries seem to have a shelf life. It doesn’t have to be that way, but it most often is. The failure that comes at the end does not discount the great accomplishments for Christ over a long history of faithful ministry. However, our desire is to see Christian ministries—especially churches continue to prosper spiritually and in their effectiveness for Christ for as long as possible.”

The Only Thing Green Are the Weeds, HT to Challies “When the earth is starved of rain the only thing that grows are the weeds. They look healthy. Yet, if they are allowed to remain, they will strangle the growth of good plants and eat up, ruin and kill the grass of your lawn. It’s a parable of our Christians lives: if you starve yourself of God’s Word and Prayer, take yourself away from gathering with God’s people, you become impoverished. You dry out. But it is not only that, in the midst of the dryness, other things will grow. The seeds of sin manage to flourish in that arid ground, growing up through the cracks. “

The Dark Side of Mindfulness, HT to Challies “At that point, she had spent years both meditating and studying the brain. Because most kinds of meditation aim to enhance concentration, the practice can act like a stimulant. And just as chemical stimulants such as caffeine and Adderall can interfere with sleep, so, too, can excessive meditation.”

Neither Burnout nor Sloth: Honoring Christ in Our Work, HT to Challies. “Christians can debate about the Genesis 3 impact on the Genesis 1 reality, but they cannot deny the Genesis 1 reality—God made mankind in his image, and defined this in the context of our work, of our vitally important endeavors. In economics, we refer to this as ‘production.’ In Christian theology, it is service, it is labor, and it is worship. And today, too often, it is considered something to be frowned on.”

Am I Responsible? “I think one of the most important lessons to learn in life is recognising the difference between what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for. I say that as someone with a tendency to feel responsible for everyone and everything around me. I can very easily feel like I have keep everyone happy or that if there’s a problem, it is up to me to fix it. Trust me, it’s a tiring way to live!”

Just Doing Your Job: The Matter of Mundane Faithfulness. “Just how valuable is mundane faithfulness? The day-to-day routine seems so monotonous. Does what I do and how I do it really matter?”

When the Silence Is So Loud in the Hardest Times and Your Question if God Has Forgotten You. I’ve mentioned before the Dead Man Talking podcast, where Bob Roberts talks with long-time friends about his terminal cancer diagnosis, suffering, and faith. Occasionally they have a guest on, and this one spoke to my heart–a young man in his thirties had some kind of infection that went septic, causing doctors to have to continuously remove tissue a bit at a time to stay ahead of the infection. He almost died–his family was called in. His wife had their third child during the eighteen days he was unconscious. He’s had 40+ surgeries to remove tissue and skin grafts to repair the damage. He walked through some dark valleys, questioning why God allowed this to happen. I liked how they said his story of still processing it all shows that suffering and hard times aren’t always tied up in a bow, but the ramifications can last for years. Yet it’s through those times that God humbles us and shines His strength through our weakness. What I linked to is the You Tube video, but the podcast is available where most podcasts are.

On a lighter note, somehow Instagram put Melodies in Motion in my suggested accounts to follow. It’s memorizing to watch the little lighted dots hit all the notes. I am not a musician. I had one semester of piano which ended with just beginning to be able to play with two hands. Having both hands do something different was a challenge for me. I don’t know how composers and arrangers manage multiple levels of melody and harmonies. The site has a variety of music, old, new, classical, lighter fare, and even some Christian songs. This is probably my favorite piece of classical music.

A temptation is an opportunity to choose God over self.–Elisabeth Elliot

Friday’s Fave Five

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FFF

This has not been a good week.

First, I woke up in afib Monday morning, with a heart rate bouncing between 130-150. Now my Kardia device is showing tachycardia rather than afib, but my heart is still beating at around 115 beats per minute. I had hoped that the ablation back in February would give me years, rather than just months of relief from this. I am beyond frustrated, yet I know stewing over it doesn’t help. I sent a note in through the cardiologist’s patient portal and was told to increase one of my medications for the next 2-3 days to see if that helps.

Our microwave also died Monday. Some of you may remember that it died last October, and after five service calls over two months, they finally replaced it in December. And now this one has failed. Jim called the company, who sent out someone, who needs a part that will take five days to get here. Let’s hope this doesn’t become the rigamarole it was last year. This is a first-world problem, for sure, and there are bigger calamities going on. But it is a frustration.

Then Mittu slipped on their stairs and has a swollen, painful area on her lower back. They don’t think anything is broken, thankfully.

And I was trying to take a pan out of the oven Wednesday, and my finger slipped from the hot pad onto the hot pan. It hurt for hours, but feels fine now. I have a place on one fingertip that looks like a blister, but it’s flat and not raised. I’m thankful, because a raised blister on a fingertip would bump into everything.

It’s is a week like this when it is even more important to intentionally look for God’s hand in our lives. I’m once again thankful Susanne at Living to Tell the Story started this practice and encouraged others to join her.

1. Good fellowship. Last Friday, before all of the above, Jason and Mittu had invited some folks from church over and asked us to come, too.

2. Grandparent’s Day. Jason and Mittu had us over again Sunday night for Grandparent’s Day. It’s funny this holiday hasn’t taken off like Mother’s and Father’s Day. But I don’t think Jason and Mittu and Timothy have ever forgotten to celebrate it with us.

3. Jesse’s birthday. We celebrated my youngest son’s birthday this week.

Jesse's birthday

4. The cake came out okay! Some years ago, Mittu made a gluten-free lemon blueberry cake that came out great and that Jesse loved. He has wanted it for his birthday ever since, but it has been a challenge for both of us. This time I asked if he minded if I went back to a GF lemon cake I’ve made before and just added blueberries to it. He was fine with that. But, just because a cake has turned out well for me before doesn’t mean it always will! Thankfully, it did this time, and he liked it.

5. My husband’s help. He made dinner for us this week, ran errands for me for Jesse’s birthday (even going to Hobby Lobby!), and has helped with dishes so I could try to rest as much as possible.

Bonus: Family history. My husband’s brother sent him a ton of information he’s gathered over the years of their family history going back several hundred years. I’ve skimmed some of it but haven’t had time yet to read it all. But the guys have enjoyed delving into it.

Looking for and focusing on God’s good gifts and blessings doesn’t make the problems go away, but my perspective has shifted. I no longer feel like a little dark cloud has been hovering over me all week. 🙂 God promises grace for every need.

How was your week?

The Vicar of Wakefield

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Vicar of Wakefield

The Vicar of Wakefield is the only novel and best-known writing by Oliver Goldsmith. His other work includes poems, essays, and plays.

The title character is a Dr. Charles Primrose, a vicar in an English country village, married with four sons and two daughters. He’s fairly well-to-do and generous in giving his money to the poor.

Just as the vicar’s oldest son, George, is about to be married, the vicar learns the person he invested a large sum of money with has lost his money and left town. George’s fiance’s father calls off the wedding.

Thus begins a series of catastrophes for the Primrose family. They have to move to a smaller parish only to find their landlord, Squire Thornhill, is a womanizer who preys on one of the vicar’s daughter. Their house burns down, the vicar is thrown into prison by Thornhill, and that’s maybe about a third of the family’s troubles.

Primrose is not faultless–he’s too trusting and somewhat pigheaded about certain beliefs that no one else agrees with. But he maintains his faith and integrity throughout and is ultimately rewarded.

Some of the quotes that stood out to me:

No situation, however wretched it seems, but has some sort of comfort attending it.

I armed her against the censures of the world, shewed her that books were sweet unreproaching companions to the miserable, and that if they could not bring us to enjoy life, they would at least teach us to endure it.

We are not to judge the feelings of others by what we might feel in their place.

The heart that is buried in a dungeon is as precious as that seated upon a throne.

I’ve seen this called a “sentimental” novel but also a satire of the upper classes as compared to the Primrose family’s more simple lifestyle. I’ve also seen it called a satire of a sentimental novel.

This book has been mentioned in several other classics, according to Wikipedia: George Eliot’s Middlemarch, Jane Austen’s Emma, Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities and David Copperfield, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Charlotte Brontë’s Villette, and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, to name a few.

I can’t say I enjoyed the book as much as I thought I would. It was written in the 1760s, about a hundred years before many other classics I’ve read. I don’t know if it was the language (one political diatribe was six-page long paragraph, and one chapter title is “Happiness and misery rather the result of prudence than of virtue in this life. Temporal evils or felicities being regarded by heaven as things merely in themselves trifling and unworthy its care in the distribution”). Or perhaps the audiobook narration I listened to dulled the story for me. Librivox offers free audiobooks in the public domain. Some of the recordings are great, some not so much. The narrator of this one had a pleasant voice, but he didn’t do different voices for the different characters, and he had the same cadence to most of his sentences. I read some of the Kindle version and enjoyed it more. If I ever read it again, I’ll either try a different narrator or just read the print book.

Nevertheless, I am glad to have read the book and made acquaintance with the Vicar.