Biblical Self-Concept

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Biblical self-concept

Some years ago, when I was a young mom, it seemed like self-concept was the topic of the times. There was no Internet then, but we heard about a biblical view of self from women’s meetings and magazines.

I believe one reason the topic was so prevalent was because the world was touting the need for good self-esteem. Though their motives may have been noble, the idea of feeling good about yourself just for the sake of feeling good about yourself fell short.

After not hearing about self-concept in a while, lately it has come up in a number of places–in a ladies meeting at church, in conversations with a couple of friends, and in an online article and comments.

Being a slow processor, some of these thoughts have percolated on the back burner for a few weeks. I thought I’d share a few things that have helped me over the years.

If self-concept is how we think of ourselves, there are two ways we can go wrong. One is to think too highly of ourselves. We’ve all known people who thought they were hot stuff, their ideas were the best, their ways of doing things were the only valid ones. The Bible has a lot to say about humility and esteeming others higher than ourselves.

But usually if someone says they’re struggling with their self-concept, they mean it the other direction. They don’t feel “good enough” in their looks, their personalities, their clothes, their homes, or their abilities.

Sometimes a negative self-image comes from things our parents, friends, or schoolmates said as we were growing up. Sometimes it comes from comparing ourselves to others.

A wrong view of ourselves can be crippling, creating anxiety and sadness, lowering our confidence, paralyzing us from extending ourselves. We might seek solace in self-destructive activities or isolate ourselves overmuch.

One verse that has helped me in this area is Romans 12:3: “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” A couple of translations say “sensibly” rather than “soberly.” According to Biblehub.com, the word means “To be of sound mind, be sober-minded, exercise self-control. From sophron; to be of sound mind, i.e. Sane, moderate.”

So how can we think about ourselves soundly?

I think, first of all, by remembering what the Bible says about us.

God made us in His image. That image has been marred by sin, yes. But each person has intrinsic value because God made them.

God sent His Son to die for us. God could have left mankind in sin. But He went to great pains to make a way that we might be forgiven through Jesus taking our sin on Himself on the cross.

God dearly loves us. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He didn’t wait for us to clean ourselves up first–we never could. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:37-38).

God accepts us. That God “made us accepted in the Beloved” (Ephesians 1:6, NKJV) was pivotal for me in my own thoughts about myself.

God rejoices over us. “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

We’re children of the King. “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12). John writes later in 1 John 3:1, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”

We’re still in a state of growth, or in the process of sanctification. If we’re saved, we’ve been made new and given a new heart. But we still have the old nature that fights against us. When we sin, we don’t despair. We confess our sins to the Lord. (1 John 1:9), ask for forgiveness and His grace to overcome. We gradually change to be more like Him by gazing at Him (2 Corinthians 3:18), renewing our minds with His truth (Romans 12:1-2), and putting off our old selves and putting on the new one “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24).

God says we’re more valuable than the birds and flowers He cares for. Jesus told the disciples not to be anxious about their needs because God would take care of them. He pointed out the birds of the air and the flowers that “even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these” (Matthew 6:25-33). He says, “Are you not of more value than they?”

God gives us something to do. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

God equips us to do what He calls us to do. He gives spiritual gifts to each of His children. (Romans 12:6–8; 1 Corinthians 12:4–11; 1 Peter 4:10–11). He gives us “all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises” (2 Peter 1:3-4). He gives us His Holy Spirit to dwell within us and guide us.

We’re not enough, but God is. “Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Corinthians 3:4-5).

When old voices echo into our minds saying we’re not valuable or we’re “less than,” we need to correct our thinking with these and other truths from Scripture.

Secondly, we need to avoid comparisons.

Some of our biggest problems come in when we look at what other people have or do. Social media gets blamed for this, but, believe me, it was a problem long before.

The Bible tells us, “they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12, NKJV).

One experience in particular helped me with this. When my children were small, I had a friend at church who was about the same age with the same number of children spaced similarly apart. We traded baby-sitting for doctor’s appointments and such. Any time I was at her house, I noticed it was not only tidy and picked up, but it was nicely decorated. She sewed clothes for herself and her children, she sewed things for her home, and she sewed for other people. She was active in several ministries at church.

Meanwhile, I felt like I was barely keeping everyone fed and reasonably clean. I wondered many times why I couldn’t do all this woman did.

I finally had to realize that some people just had the capacity for more. If God passes out talents like the man in the parable, maybe she was a five-talent Christian and I was a two-talent Christian.

Some years later, this lady and her husband invited us to their home for dinner. Throughout the night, she kept getting up to start something or check on something or see about something. I thought, if this is the price for getting so much done, then maybe I’m okay with not doing so.

It’s not that either of us was right or wrong, worse or better: it was just a realization that God made us different, and that was okay.

Thirdly, we need to practice acceptance and contentment.

The disciples argued often about who would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. After Jesus’ death and resurrection and the coming of the Holy Spirit to dwell within believers, that didn’t seem to be as much of a problem.

Not everyone was given Peter’s place as the leader or his and James’ and John’s experiences with the Lord. Some of the disciples seemed to minister in relative obscurity.

When Peter asked Jesus what was going to happen to John, Jesus said, “What is that to you? You follow me!”

Something else that helped me was the realization that, whatever my strengths and gifts were, there was always going to be someone who could do what I did better. It’s not a contest. God has a place and a ministry for each of us. Our part is to faithfully serve Him in whatever He calls us to.

If someone has more or better or different gifts than I have, I can appreciate them and learn from them, but I don’t have to strive to be just like them. This came home to me with another friend who was one of the most organized people on the planet. I used to wish I was more like her, until I got to know her better. Some of the ways she organized just would not have worked for me and seemed too restrictive. Again, it wasn’t a matter of right or wrong, but of the different bent God gave each of us. If I had an organizational question, she would have been the first person I asked. But I didn’t have to lament that I wasn’t like her.

It’s the same with any area of life–finances, houses, clothes, looks, family size, and everything else. If someone has more or better, we can rejoice with those who rejoice.

We also don’t need to idealize others. Of course people are going to post good news on social media. That doesn’t mean their lives are perfect. Everyone has flaws and problems.

Finally, we need to turn our focus away from ourselves and minister to others.

We don’t ignore or dismiss thoughts about ourselves: we think biblically about ourselves. We may need counsel to sort out how to think and feel and respond to what others have said about us. But If we’re constantly looking at what other people have or do and feeling we’re falling short, where is our focus? On ourselves.

One of the best ways I have found to battle discontent with myself is to forget about me and minister to others. Instead of turning everything we observe from others into an unfavorable comparison with ourselves, maybe we can ask for God’s help to say something encouraging or complimentary to them. Or we can seek out other people who need encouragement. A stanza from Anna Laetitia Waring’s hymn has helped me, especially the last line:

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love, through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles, and to wipe the weeping eyes;
And a heart at leisure from itself, to soothe and sympathize.

Another quote that has helped me is this from Robert Murray M’Cheyne’s Memoirs and Remains. I was looking up the quote about looking at Christ ten times for every look at ourselves just now when I found it in context:

Learn much of the Lord Jesus. For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely. Such infinite majesty, and yet such meekness and grace, and all for sinners, even the chief. Live much in the smiles of God. Bask in His beams. Feel His all-seeing eye settled on you in love and repose in His almighty arms… Let your soul be filled with a heart-ravishing sense of the sweetness and excellency of Christ and all that is in Him.

And, finally, this longer quote from Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis sums it all up:

The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether. Your real, new self (which is Christ’s and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. . .

Give up your self, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.

Romans 12:3

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable Linkage

Some of the good reads found this week:

Faith Over Fear: Meeting Christ in the Middle of the Storm, HT to the Story Warren. So many good observations here. “The disciples are caught in a situation they did not choose. They are doing exactly what Jesus told them to do—getting into a boat and crossing the Sea of Galilee—when trouble finds them. The wind rises, the waters churn, and progress becomes painful and slow (Mark 6:48). They are experienced fishermen, not novices, yet skill offers no relief. Darkness surrounds them. Exhaustion sets in. Control slips away. This matters because it confronts one of our most common assumptions about faith: that obedience guarantees smooth sailing. It doesn’t. Sometimes obedience places us directly in the path of difficulty. Faithfulness does not exempt us from storms, and competence does not shield us from fear.”

Does Rejecting Hell Really Set You Free? “We’ve separated eternal judgment from the larger story of Scripture and held it up in isolation, sometimes with devastating results. But the misuse of a doctrine does not make it false, and reshaping reality to ease our discomfort won’t bring us peace or freedom.”

Do I Resent the Life God Gave Me? HT to Challies. “Though I hate to admit it, resentfulness is a subtle but very real temptation in my heart, especially during times of deep pain and sorrow. Over time, I’ve learned how important it is to recognize this temptation when it comes, so that when I start to go down that path, I can take steps to realign my heart with the truth.”

When God’s Plans Seem Inconsistent with His Promises, HT to Challies. “What we see in God’s instruction to Abraham seems to show that there will be times when God asks things of his people that feel deeply confusing, yet we can be confident there is always more happening than what we can understand. We learn that God will allow trials in our lives that seem to contradict his promises, yet we can be sure he is steadfast and faithful beyond what we can see or understand in the moment.”

Canadian Family Claim Christian Grandmother Was Euthanized Against her Wishes, HT to Challies. This is alarming. “A family in Canada has alleged that their 83-year-old grandmother was euthanised despite her stated Christian beliefs and lack of mental capacity to consent to the procedure.”

Peace Is Better. “I’m not advocating for being silent about the great injustices of our society. We have to speak the truth when it’s needed. But I am saying that most of the things we want to create conflict and confrontation about in this world are just ways for us to personally feel that we got to say our piece, for us to get some sort of validation that we’re right, or for us to let someone else know that they’ve wronged us or made us feel sad, angry, or disappointed. I would argue that in most instances, the better path is the one where we pray and ask the Lord to soften our own heart, forgiving the person who slighted us or made us feel a certain way, and moving on with our day in peace.”

You Are Not Enough (And That Is Not Failure), HT to Challies. “‘You are not enough. Not enough. Not enough.’ Those hard words have been the mantra accompanying me as I’ve parented our children into adulthood. However, I am continually and graciously reminded to embrace the freedom found in their somber tone. Words that once felt like a condemnation of me as a mother have become a necessary reminder of the One who is enough and abundantly more than enough. His burden, I’m reminded, is easy and light (Matt. 11:30).”

What to Do When Your Spiritual Leader Falls. “Hopefully we realize that if we get close to any of our spiritual heroes, we will begin to see cracks and flaws. But what happens when spiritual leaders fail in big ways, ways that ruin lives and bring dishonor to the name of Christ? What do you do when someone you look up to falls?” I would add one more point to the excellent ones Ben listed: remember grace. A sin that may disqualify a man from spiritual leadership doesn’t mean he is no longer useful to God and must become a pariah in Christendom. God has marvelously forgiven and used people who grievously sinned and repented in Scripture.

Worship is not an experience. Worship is an act, and this takes discipline.We are to worship in spirit and in truth. Never mind about the feelings. We are to worship in spite of them. Elisabeth Elliot

Friday’s Fave Five

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FFF

It’s been a busy week, but a good one. I’m pausing with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story to share blessings from the week.

1. Jason and Mittu’s 17th anniversary! It’s hard to believe they’ve been married that long! It was fun to look at wedding photos in my Facebook memories.

2. Timothy’s first day in a new school. He has been taught at home with an online curriculum up until now. Jim texted to ask how his first day went, and he said, “Cool and amazing.”

3. Dinner and catching up. Jason and Mittu brought dinner over Tuesday night, and we got to hear more about the school experience and what classes Timothy is taking.

4. Anticipation. My oldest son is coming to visit for a little over a week.

5. Jim’s help. I have a master cleaning list that I work through before someone comes to visit. I asked Jim if he could sweep and vacuum the floors for me. He did that plus a few other things on the list. I usually divide it over a couple of days, but we got most of it done in one.

How was your second week of August?

Insights on Revelation

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Revelation

The book of Revelation can be daunting to read, with all its symbolism and strange experiences. I used Charles Swindoll’s Insights on Revelation as a companion this time through the book and found it quite helpful.

Swindoll says this book is a “mile-high” view of Revelation. He goes into more detail than a mere overview, but mainly hits the high points.

The Greek word for “Revelation” is apokalypsis, form which we get our word apocalypse. Today, apocalypse conveys the meaning of a massive, end-of-the-world-type battle. Though Revelation tells of the final, victorious battle between good and evil, the word actually means an unveiling. This is an unveiling of the future, but even more so, and unveiling of the true King.

Revelation was written by the apostle John, brother of James. He was an old man now, living in exile on the island of Patmos, when he was caught up to heaven and told to write what he saw.

First he is told to write seven letters to then-existing local churches. Swindoll calls these a type of performance review. Each church is told what they did right, what they’re doing wrong, and how God wants them to respond. The message to each church has much to say to us today as well.

Then John sees several visions of things to come, including the reign of the Antichrist during seven years of what we call the Tribulation, leading to the final judgments of mankind, the resurrection of all from the dead, and the crowning of Jesus Christ as the King of the universe, with all those who believed on Him through the ages coming to live with Him in His kingdom.

Revelation pronounces a blessing on those who read and obey it: “The one who reads this is blessed, and those who hear the words of this prophecy and keep what is written in it are blessed, because the time is near!” (Revelation 1:3, HCSB). The blessing is repeated near the end of the book: “And behold, I am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book” (Revelation 22:7, ESV).

Swindoll emphasizes that we may not understand everything in the book–even John didn’t understand everything he wrote. But there is still much we can glean and be blessed by. He says careful observation of what the text says, paying attention to the context within Revelation, and bringing in what we know from other parts of the Bible help us understand it better. He says, “The book of Revelation wasn’t written to confuse, frighten, or entertain. Rather, it was given to believers to read, understand, and apply.”

There are groups of people with very strong opinions on some questions in Revelation: whether there will be a “Rapture” of the church, a catching away of Christians; when that will occur (before, in the middle of, or after the tribulation–seven years of trouble); whether there will be a literal millennium–a thousand year reign of Christ on Earth; or whether everything in the book is symbolic. I felt, even before this book, that these things are not worth arguing over or breaking fellowship over.

In fact, the study of Revelation can often devolve into trying to prove one’s version of these things. But a focus on these things can obscure or even miss the point. “The purpose of Revelation is to change us, not simply to inform us.” The book of Revelation gives us hope for the future, inspires us to live holy lives in light of what’s coming, and “moves us to worship God, who will ultimately triumph over evil.”

After each section, Swindoll share practical applications we can draw from the text for our lives here and now.

Some of the judgments God pours out on the unbelieving and rebellious in the end times are some of the most awful things we’ll read in the Bible. But the good news is, God has made a way to escape those judgments by believing on Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior now. The last chapter of the book contains an invitation: “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price” (Revelation 22:17).

My Lady Ludlow

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My Lady Ludlow

My Lady Ludlow by Elizabeth Gaskell is a short novel–or a long novella–about an older aristocratic woman in the changing times of the late 1700s.

Her story is told by Margaret Dawson, a distant relative, now an old woman looking back on her time with Lady Ludlow. When Margaret was a teenager, her father died, leaving her mother with nine children. To help out, Lady Ludlow offered for Margaret to come stay with her, where she “did her Christian duty” by several young “gentlewomen” who were “out of means.” So Margaret traveled several hours to Lady Ludlow’s manor.

In those days, the Lord or Lady of the manor had pretty much the authority of the whole area. Lady Ludlow had a strong sense of The Way Things Should Be, based on the way things had always been. She could seem imperious and intractable, but she had a kind and generous heart.

She had frequent arguments with the young rector as well as her own steward about educating the “lower classes.” Reverend Gray wanted to open a Sunday School and then a village school, to teach doctrine and prepare young minds for the world to come. Mr. Horner, the steward, cared more about the here and now and “wanted to make every man useful and active in this world.” He had taken it upon himself to educate a bright young boy who happened to be the son of a man known for poaching. Mr. Horner thought the boy could be saved from the kind of life he was otherwise sure to grow into and possibly even come to work for the estate.

“My lady would hear of neither one or the other.” She thought the teaching of doctrine was best done by the family and church. She called reading and writing “edge-tools,” saying, “If our lower orders have these edge-tools given to them, we shall have the terrible scenes of the French Revolution acted over again in England. When I was a girl, one never heard of the rights of men, one only heard of the duties.” She thought that if the boy Mr. Horner was teaching, and others like him, learned to read and write, “his duties become complicated, and his temptations much greater, while, at the same time, he has no hereditary principles and honourable training to serve as safeguards.”

She then related a long story about friends in France who were killed during the Revolution, part of their fate hinging on a boy reading and sharing a message he should not have.

At first I wondered why Mrs. Gaskell created such a character. From what I’ve read about the author, Lady Ludlow’s views were not her views.

But, without spoiling the plot too much, Lady Ludlow gradually changes her thinking on many things. Then I realized the author was appealing to those who held the same views as Lady Ludlow, gently trying to open their eyes to other, better views.

My Lady Ludlow is one of the stories incorporated in the Cranford BBC TV series, along with the novel Cranford and another novella, Mr. Harrison’s Confessions, even though these stories don’t originally occur in the same place. The rector in the TV series is from one of the other books, so it’s sad that Rev. Gray wasn’t in the series. Mr. Horner, for some reason, is renamed Mr. Carter there. In the book, Lady Ludlow has one son remaining from her original nine, but he never appears at the manor. The TV series has him coming back as a ne’er-do-well, only interested in money, wanting to sell the estate to the railroad company. I know films can’t portray the books exactly, but when they add in their own plots, I want to say, “Go write your own books with your own characters, and don’t subvert those of others.”

Though Lady Ludlow is not as easy to like as Matty Jenkyns in Cranford, I did like the way she changed through the story.

How Bible Study Is Like Practicing Music

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Bible Study

The various church choirs I’ve been in over the years have followed a similar practice pattern.

With some hymns, the choir director might give us background information about the composer or the story behind the song.

Then the director has the choir sight-read the whole song. After that, he’ll take a section at a time and practice the parts with each group–sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses. Then he has us sing that section all together before going on to the next.

Once we have the parts down, we work on things like timing and dynamics (when to sing louder or softer). This involves singing either the whole song or shorter sections of it over and over.

As we practice the whole song, we often stop to go over any problem areas and smooth over any rough spots.

Even then, we’ll rehearse the complete song a few more times before singing it for the congregation. By that time, we know it pretty well. The time spent on individual parts helped the finished piece to come together.

I realized recently that Bible study works much the same way.

It’s good to read a paragraph or section of the Bible at a time, noting what we can of the context, author, and situation that led to the passage.

We might look up words we’re not sure of. One verse might remind us of something we read in another part of the Bible that we’ll then explore.

In trying to discern the author’s main point, we might look at repeated words. Is he comparing or contrasting anything? What does a “therefore” refer back to? What point is a “but” or “however” making?

After we study through the individual sentences–and sometimes the individual phrases or words in a passage–we put it all back together: we read the passage again with renewed understanding. It may feel like studying the parts takes away from the whole; but, actually, that study enhances our comprehension.We know the passage and its truths much better than we would have with a cursory reading.

Other ways learning a song in a choir is like Bible study:

  • A dedicated time. If we tried to learn a song without a regular time to get together and practice, we probably wouldn’t get very far. Likewise, if we don’t make a regular time in our schedule for Bible study, we’ll likely only read haphazardly, if at all.
  • Regular attendance. Everyone will miss choir practice occasionally due to illness or vacations. If people only drift in and out as they feel like it, they are not going to know the song as well. Once we set aside time for reading our Bibles, we need to make the commitment to show up as often as possible.
  • Others help us stay on track. In my earliest choir years, if I sat too near the altos or tenors, I’d find myself singing their parts. I had to position myself firmly surrounded by sopranos to stay on the right notes. It’s good to study the Bible on our own, but we need times with others as well. Joining a group Bible study or sharing what we’ve learned with a friend will not only strengthen our understanding, but will keep from drifting into misinterpretation or a wrong application.
  • Crossover learning. What we learn in one song often carries over into others. I didn’t have any kind of musical training when I first joined a choir, so learning the basic symbols, Latin phrases (forte, allegro, etc.), pronunciation, timing, etc. were foundational and helpful when starting new music. What we learn in studying one section of the Bible will aid us when we study other parts.

Being in a choir–or learning any type of music– might seem like work. It might even sound boring to go over one’s part again and again and to practice so many times. But we’ll never learn an instrument or song without regularly working at it. Yet that apparently mundane practice work will result in a number that’s beautiful, that ministers to others, and that gladdens our own hearts. We get much more out of it when we put time and effort into it.

Bible study might seem like work as well. We’d much rather just pick it up, read a few verses, and receive inspiration for our day. But the Bible is so much more than a spiritual pick-me-up. That everyday reading and study is where wisdom is developed, where our souls are nourished, where we come to know more about our God. We get much more out of it when we put time and effort into it.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable Linkage

Lots of good reads found this week:

Three Ways to Know I Am a Real Christian, HT to Challies. “It is a common question from earnest and sincere people: how can I know I am a Christian? There are all sorts of answers we might give, some probably more helpful than others. But it would make most sense to look at the scriptures and see some of the signs it would highlight. So, to that end, here are three biblical signs that you are a genuine Christian.”

I Was Helped by a Hypocrite, HT to Challies. “I’d been a believer for a year when I met Walt. He captivated a crowd when he preached. His counsel was pivotal in my life, and God used him to strengthen my young faith. But Walt turned out to be a hypocrite. After proclaiming God’s glory, he’d visit prostitutes on his way home to his wife. After his divorce, he stole another man’s wife. Walt’s downfall disoriented me. How could I be so helped by a man who was such a hypocrite?”

The God Who Suffers with Us and for Us. “Some of my most enjoyable conversations over the past two-plus decades have centered on the colossal question, ‘How can you believe in a God who allows bad things to happen to good people?’ In fact, some of my favorite convos have been with those who disagree with me over this question—not because I possess any powers of persuasion but because I’ve lived at the crossroads of suffering and faith for so long, I welcome the chance to talk about the elephant in the room (and the pain behind the question).”

Long Suffering: A Longer Look. “Dear reader, are you carrying a heavy burden that you can’t yet put down? Are you wearied by the ‘too far’ and ‘too much’? Perhaps you’ve wondered as I have—How do I keep going? How can I keep a tender heart of hope when I’m tempted to give in to the weariness, despair, and bitterness?“

Please Don’t Pray for Me, HT to Challies. What’s a parent to do when child who isn’t walking with the Lord says, “Please don’t pray for me. I don’t want your prayers.” Some good answers here.

What the Spurgeon Family Scandal Teaches Us About Failure, HT to Challies. “This unlikely ground zero for the greatest preacher of the 19th century reminds us of wonderful truths.”

“This I Call to Mind,” HT to Challies. “Our sins they are many. It is tempting to start here when we come to God in prayer. We think, sometimes, that much groveling will somehow lift us up to a place of forgiveness, that if we can just grasp the muchness of our sin, we will then grasp the muchness of God’s mercy.”

The Lie of Optimization. I had not heard of “optimization” as a buzzword until this week, where I have heard it twice. “In so many ways, improvement is a noble goal, and we should keep pursuing the better. Christians have a word for changing for the better: we call it sanctification. But sanctification means becoming more like Christ, and it has very little to do with how you wrapped the present for the baby shower or whether or not those dairy products in your fridge are organic.”

Pastoral Time Guilt, HT to Challies. Though this is written to pastors, I think that feeling of never being able to meet all the needs is also felt by parents, teachers, and others. “Our greatest problem is not that we lack time but that we often fail to steward it according to God’s purposes. We cannot add a single hour to our lives (Matt. 6:27). Instead, we are called to walk wisely, ‘making the most of the time’ (Eph. 5:15-17). Every sermon, counseling session, leadership meeting, family dinner, and unexpected interruption exists within God’s providential design. He has already prepared the good works we are to accomplish (Eph. 2:10), and there is ‘a time for every matter under heaven’ (Eccles. 3:1). Paul even connects wise stewardship of time with faithful gospel witness, urging believers to ‘walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time’ (Col. 4:5).”

From the Joy of Japan: How One Family’s Passing Stirred Thousands, HT to Challies. The impact of the deaths of a family who were on their way to serve in Japan.

Love God with All Your Imagination: A Call for Christian Storytelling, HT to the Story Warren. “Beyond offering mere childish entertainment, stories shape minds and hearts, linger in the imagination, and depict virtues that we can grasp, savor, and turn in our hands. In fact, Tolkien, the father of modern fantasy literature, believed that the best stories thrill us because they resonate with gospel truth.” (I disagree with the last sentence of a quote by Humphrey Carpenter here, but otherwise loved this article.

Isaac Watts hymn

Within Thy circling power I stand;
On every side I find Thy hand;
Awake, asleep, at home, abroad,
I am surrounded still with God.

Isaac Watts

Friday’s Fave Five

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Friday's Fave Five

Fridays keep coming faster than ever! I’m thankful Susanne at Living to Tell the Story started this weekly practice of pausing to count blessings.

1. A ladies’ event at church. Our church has a “Girl Talk” event periodically, with the most recent one occurring last Saturday. The topic this time was self-concept and how the Bible tells us to think about ourselves. One woman spoke about the topic, with some opportunities to ask and answer questions. Then a lunch was catered. I had a few really good conversations with different ladies afterward–not on this topic, but on others. All in all, a good morning.

2. Voting and another good conversation. Our state and local primaries this week garnered a longer line that I have ever seen at our polling place for a non-presidential election. About half-way through a line that snaked around and across a high school gym, I found out the lady behind me taught at a school where I knew a teacher. “Do you know so-and-so?” led to a conversation that was not only enjoyable, but helped the waiting time fly by.

Voting sticker

3. Good numbers. I had a six-month appointment with my primary care doctor to discuss my lab work. I was concerned about my blood sugar, because my own readings at home had been high. But my A1C was better than last time, just a hair above “normal.” And my thyroid level is back in normal range after being too low last time.

4. Going the extra miles(s). Ladies at church were asked to make food for a back-to-school breakfast to honor teachers at our Christian school. When I signed up to bring pigs-in-a-blanket, I asked Jim if he could take them over for me, as I would have had some difficulties getting them there. He agreed to, but had forgotten he had another obligation that morning. Mittu was contributing food as well, and had also been asked to help serve, so I asked Jason, and he graciously agreed to swing by and pick them up for me.

5. An evening with Timothy and a dinner I didn’t make. Jason and Mittu had a meeting one night this week and asked if Timothy could stay with us. They offered to bring dinner as well. We just hung out in the family room and talked most of the night. Timothy played some videos of when he was little–his voice was so cute and high!

Bonus: We went to lunch with Jason, Mittu, and Timothy at our favorite food court for the first time in a long time. I tried a new Asian place which, sadly, was a disappointment. But I love a bakery there which makes “cronuts”–a cross between croissants and donuts. The regular ones are about four or five inches square, but they also make mini ones, about two by two inches. I like the smaller ones because I like all their flavors–chocolate glazed, glazed, and cinnamon and sugar–and this way I can get more than one. And, more importantly, we enjoyed catching up with the kids.

Cronuts

How was your week?

Into a Golden Era

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Into a Golden Era

Into a Golden Era is the seventh novel in Gabrielle Meyer’s Time Crossers series, where the main character lives in two different years and must decide by her 25th birthday which timeline to remain in.

Ally is a well-known actress in 1929 California during the “Golden Age” of Hollywood. Her father owns a small movie studio, but it’s on the verge on bankruptcy. Bigger studios like that of L. B. Mayer are absorbing the smaller ones. Ally’s family is throwing everything into making one last film, Little Women, with Ally in the starring role as Jo.

Mayer approaches Ally’s father with a proposition. One of Mayer’s most famous stars, Spencer Hayes, has gotten into some trouble due to bad decisions and alliances. Mayer will loan Spencer to Ally’s father for the role of Laurie in the Little Women film if Ally will agree to date Spencer publicly. Mayer’s thought is that Ally’s good reputation will rub off on Spencer, making his latest scandal ebb away.

Ally’s father is afraid the opposite will happen, that Spencer’s bad reputation will rub off on Ally. But Ally agrees to the arrangement in order to save the family studio.

In 1849, Ally and her father and sister have just arrived in San Francisco. Her father had attempted to help Bronson Alcott, father of Louisa May, start a school in Massachusetts. When that failed, Ally persuaded him to travel out west and try to start a school there. Secretly, she wants to use her knowledge of the Gold Rush era from her 1929 path to help her father find gold, so he and her sister would be taken care of if she chooses to remain in 1929.

However, her father falls gravely ill en route. They are taken to a boarding house where Ally agrees to help in the kitchen to support them. However, she is stunned to learn that the owner of the boarding house is an infamous gangster. According to a recent popular movie in 1929, a fire is supposed to start in that very boarding house the next day, setting off a series of fires throughout the city. Ally isn’t supposed to knowingly change history in either timeline: if she does, she’ll forfeit her life in that timeline. But she can’t let the building burn down, not when her father is too ill to be moved.

To be honest, the Gold Rush era is about my least favorite time period in history to read about. But I did find both timelines interesting. Ally has difficult decisions to make in both timelines. She learns that there is often more to a person’s life that what appears on the surface.

Gabrielle always manages to put a little different twist on the time crossing scenario into each story. But I felt that in this book and the last one, there were a few too many time crossers in the story. If I remember correctly, in the first book, there were very few. Now it seems just a little too convenient that there are so many who turn up just at the right time to help out.

I’m still enjoying the series, though. There are enough hints about the next story in this one that I am already looking forward to it.

C. S. Lewis’ Letters to an American Lady.

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C. S. Lewis was a prolific letter-writer. Just the third volume of his collected letters covering the last thirteen years of his life is over 6000 pages.

Yet Lewis often felt burdened by the volume of letters he needed to write. He even asked friends not to write to him at Christmastime because he heard from so many people then, answering their correspondence became almost impossible.

Clyde S. Kilby says in his preface of Lewis’ Letters to an American Lady that Lewis said “one essential of the happy life is ‘ that a man would have almost no mail and never dread the postman’s knock.'” Yet he wrote because he “believed taking time out to advise or encourage another Christian was both a humbling of one’s talents before the Lord and also as much the work of the Holy Spirit as producing a book” and “one’s days and his talents are given him not for private expenditure but to be used in all lowliness within the will of God. Though the flesh abhorred it, he mortified the flesh.”

The American lady this collection of letters was written to is unnamed, by her request. After Lewis’ death, she donated his letters to Wheaton College. She was a widow and a “southern aristocrat” who “loves to talk and speaks well.” She also wrote “reviews articles, poems, and stories.” She had fallen upon hard times financially as well as family problems and, in the end, various health issues.

Her letters to Lewis are not printed here, but her first seems to have praised him for his books. He writes that he would have to “be either of angelic humility or diabolical pride not to be pleased at all the things you say about my books.” She must have shared some of her troubles with him, because he assures her of his sympathy and prayers.

Their correspondence goes on to include over a hundred letters. His tone is always cordial, though at times he says he can only write “a pen scratch” because of busyness or illness.

She writes that she has converted to Catholicism. He says that path is not for him, but he did not want their correspondence to be controversial. He was happy that her “faith and joy are so obviously increased.”

Some of his notes are sprinkled with humor:

About sleep: do you find that the great secret (if one can do it) is not to care whether you sleep? Sleep is a jade who scorns her suitors but woos her scorners.

As for wrinkles—pshaw! Why shouldn’t we have wrinkles? Honorable insignia of long service in this warfare.

Over the thirteen years they wrote to each other, we see glimpses of his personal life and what books he was working at the time. His marriage to Joy and her death took place in this time period. But most of the letters focus on encouraging her in her troubles.

Some of the quotes that stood out to me, some of which are well-known:

How little people know who think that holiness is dull. When one meets the real thing (and perhaps, like you, I have met it only once) it is irresistible. If even 10% of the world’s population had it, would not the whole world be converted and happy before a year’s end?

(Concerning someone she had a problem with) I mustn’t encourage you to go on thinking about her: that, after all, is almost the greatest evil nasty people can do us—to become an obsession, to haunt our minds. A brief prayer for them, and then away to other subjects, is the thing, if one can only stick to it.

I suppose the only way with thorns in the flesh (until one can get them out) is not to press on the place where they are embedded; i.e. to stop one’s thoughts (firmly but gently).

Your faith is a support to me as well as to yourself.

Remember one is given strength to bear what happens to one, but not the 100 and 1 different things that might happen.

As for the bug-bear of Old Peoples’ Homes, remember that our ignorance works both ways. Just as some of the things we have longed and hoped for turn out to be dust and ashes when we get them, so the things we have most dreaded sometimes turn out to be quite nice. If you ever do have to go to a Home, Christ will be there just as much as in any other place.

Re some of their health problems:

Not that you and I have now much reason to rejoice in having bodies! Like old automobiles, aren’t they? where all sorts of apparently different things keep going wrong, but what they add up to is the plain fact that the machine is wearing out. Well, it was not meant to last forever. Still, I have a kindly feeling for the old rattle-trap. Through it God showed me that whole side of His beauty which is embodied in colour, sound, smell and size. No doubt it has often led me astray: but not half so often, I suspect, as my soul has led it astray.

Pain is terrible, but surely you need not have fear as well? Can you not see death as the friend and deliverer? It means stripping off that body which is tormenting you: like taking off a hairshirt or getting out of a dungeon. What is there to be afraid of?

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave it with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

Remember, tho’ we struggle against things because we are afraid of them, it is often the other way round—we get afraid because we struggle. Are you struggling, resisting? Don’t you think Our Lord says to you “Peace, child, peace. Relax. Let go. Underneath are the everlasting arms. Let go, I will catch you. Do you trust me so little?”

Of course this may not be the end. Then make it a good rehearsal.

Though I’ve had this book in my Kindle collection for several years, it wasn’t on my radar to read any time soon. But in looking for a particular quote (the one about having better things ahead than behind), I began to read that in context, then read some more, then started at the beginning. Though I read some of these in the last volume of his collected letters, it was good to have all his correspondence to one person put together.

I’m so thankful this lady shared Lewis’ letters with the public. They were an encouragement to me, as I am sure they have been to many others.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

(Updated to add: someone thought this book contained letters written to Joy Davidman, who later became Lewis’ wife. No, these letters are to someone named Mary. I don’t think Lewis knew Joy yet when he first started writing to “Mary.” None of his letters to Joy are in the larger volume of collected letters.)