Friday’s Fave Five

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Wow, we’re almost halfway through February already. Time passes so quickly, it’s good to pause now and then to appreciate our blessings. Susanne at Living to Tell the Story invites us to do just that.

Some of my favorite parts of the last week:

1. Thoughtful treats. When my youngest son, Jesse, was home, he enjoyed Lunchables as a snack. When he had one that included two Oreo cookies, he usually gave me one. Then my husband, Jim started doing the same thing. Though Jesse has his own place now, we still keep a few Lunchables on hand. I came to my desk one day this week to see that Jim had left his Oreos for me. 🙂

2. Repotting plants has been on my to-do list for a very long time, and I was happy to get to them this week. These had all been on my kitchen windowsill and needed room to grow.

We couldn’t get the little cactus-looking one out of its container. The little pebbles on top were glued together as one unit. I had thought this was a real plant, but maybe it’s a fake.

I’ve mentioned before that I am not good with houseplants. But I hope these thrive.

3. Catching up with friends. One friend and I had been trying to get together for lunch since before Christmas. We had to keep canceling due to illness or other things coming up. We finally met at Red Lobster one day this week. Then, I dropped something off at the home of my friend who recently had a baby, thinking I would only be there for a couple of minutes. I was hoping to talk with her, but wanted didn’t want to keep her too long. But we got to visit for a while. I enjoyed talking and laughing with both these friends.

4. Going out to dinner. My husband and I get take-out probably more than we ever have in our lives—with just the two of us at home, it’s not so expensive to do. And I love not cooking. 🙂 One night this week we decided to actually go to Cracker Barrel. That was nice in itself, since it’s not my husband’s favorite place. But as we discussed options, he said this was ok.

Though I’m a homebody and haven’t actually been too bothered by being home during the pandemic, these outings reminded me that I am not entirely ready to be a hermit. 🙂 It is fun to get out sometimes.

5. A long overdue haircut. In-between running errands and seeing friends, I was able to slip into the salon where I usually go. My regular hairdresser wasn’t there, but the lady who cut my hair did a good job. It’s nice not to feel unkempt.

And that’s a small window into my week. How has yours been?

Book Review: The Road Home

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In Malissa Chapin’s debut novel, The Road Home, Cadence Audley has started a new life with a new name—for the second time. Her past has dogged her steps, but she’s determined to lead a quiet, peaceful life in Deercrest, Wisconsin. She’s found a good job as a barista with a great boss. Antique stores in the area fulfill her taste for vintage purchases.

On one such shopping trip, Cadence finds an old recipe box filled with hand-written recipes. Her coworker Googles the name written inside the box and found that the owner had lived in town. Thinking to return a valued heirloom, Cadence finds Fredonia, the middle-aged daughter of the recipe box owner. Fredonia had donated the recipe box in the first place and is not thrilled to see it again—or Cadence, for that matter. But, upon learning that Cadence likes antiques, Fredonia invites the younger woman to drive with her to Kentucky to help clean out her mother’s home.

Fredonia’s offer comes just in time, because Cadence’s past has caught up with her—again.

This is a split-time novel. The second timeline belongs to Ida Beale Evans, owner of the recipe box. She had been a banker’s daughter in Indiana when she married her sweetheart, Bud, and moved with him to his new pastorate in Kentucky. Though she enjoys life as a country preacher’s wife, she has one sorrow. Suddenly one night, her deepest desire is unexpectedly fulfilled—but to keep it will call for a lifetime of secrecy.

Though Ida is a Christian and Cadence is not, both women struggle with trusting that the truth will set them free. The truth seems like it will destroy them. But Cadence has come to the end of her road. Can she escape and start over yet again? Or must she face her past and its consequences, even though doing so means losing everything she holds dear? Can she trust the young preacher who tells her, “Your sin caused problems everywhere, but God is bigger than this. He’s big enough to help you live a new life” (Location 3415, Kindle version).

I enjoyed following the journey of both women and the truths they learned. I also enjoyed the sense of place in the book, especially the Kentucky sections. There was a nice mix of both funny and poignant moments in the story. Sprinkled throughout the book are recipes from Ida Beale’s box. It was fun to learn on Malissa’s blog what inspired the pink Cadillac road trip in the book and to peruse her Pinterest board for the people and items that inspired or contributed to the story.

As of this writing, the Kindle edition is $2.99, but a paperback version is also available.

Don’t Let Truth Become Cliche

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People who write about writing tell us to avoid cliches. I read one article that advised tucking a few cliches into dialogue, if you’re writing fiction, so the conversations sound normal and familiar. Generally, though, cliches are considered trite and unoriginal. There’s nothing modern readers and publishers like so much as an original idea or a twist on an old one.

While I agree with all of the above, one day it dawned on me that the problem with cliches are not the phrases themselves. The problem is us. Most of the definitions and articles I looked up said that a phrase became a cliche through overuse. Why was the phrase overused? Because it aptly or creatively expressed something people identified with. But people heard it so much, they got tired of it. Then the phrase lost its luster, if not its meaning. The phrase still meant what it always did, but we don’t hear it the same any more. We gloss over it or even get irritated by it.

Most of us use cliches thoughtlessly out of habit—thus the admonition to watch for and eliminate them from our writing and speech. But some cliches are used to stop a conversation, according to Wikipedia. For instance, if you’re telling someone your troubles, and they respond, “That’s just the way the cookie crumbles” or “Into each life some rain must fall” (though the latter is from a poem), they’re not really interested in hearing you.

It’s possible to let truth become cliche spiritually as well, isn’t it?

In the church I attended in my teens and college years, we sang “Victory in Jesus” quite a lot. In another church my husband and I attended several years ago, a frequent congregational song was “Til the Storm Passes By.” In another place, it seemed like I heard “Be Thou My Vision” almost every week. For a while, I almost cringed when I heard these songs announced or heard their opening notes.

But was there anything wrong with the songs? No, they are all wonderful expressions of Biblical truth. The fact that they seemed overused was a problem in my own heart.

What about Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Granted, sometimes people use this verse like a band-aid on cancer. They mean well, but they want to “fix” the problem instead of weeping with those who weep, and then the verse becomes a conversation-stopper. But does the frequency with which we hear this verse null its meaning and effectiveness? It shouldn’t.

If someone quotes or refers to Psalm 23, should I glibly think, “Shepherd, sheep, got it,” and move on?

When Israel complained about eating manna, honestly, I can identify with them. But God faulted them for grumbling and murmuring. They forgot the miracle of God’s provision in the wilderness—a wilderness they were wandering in due to their own sin and failure.

In Malachi, Israel was offering to the Lord animals that wouldn’t even be fit for a governor (1:8), much less for a sacrifice for God. Then the people complained, “What a weariness this is” (1:13).

It’s good to be familiar with God’s Word. Throughout the Bible, God expects us to know Scripture enough to be able to think about it in our everyday lives. So if some parts of the Bible seem trite or overly familiar to us, the solution is not to scale back on our Bible reading.

What can we do then?

We can pray with the psalmist, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119:18). We can remember the incredible privilege it is that the Creator of the universe wants to speak to us. “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139:17). If God’s Word isn’t feeling so precious and wondrous lately, we can ask God to help us see it that way.

We can pray for revival. “Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?” (Psalm 85:6). “My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word!” (Psalm 119:25. Other translations say “quicken,” “revive, “preserve.”) Three times in Psalm 80, the writer asks God to “Turn us again, O God, and cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved.”

We can ask God to search our hearts and lead us to repentance if need be. “For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite'” (Isaiah 57:15).

We can ask God to restore our delight in Him and His Word.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart (Psalm 40:8).

Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them (Psalm 111:2).

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

We can return to our first love. “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (Revelation 2:4-5). Maybe thinking back through our testimony, God’s dealings with us when we first knew Him, revisiting our “Ebenezers,” those times we saw evidence of God’s working in our lives, will stir up that first love.

Practically, maybe interrupting our regular scheduled Bible reading plan to read through some psalms or passages that have held special meaning for us in the past might help. So might reading the Bible in a different translation than you’re used to. Slowing down to focus on the words, maybe reading them out loud, can keep us from racing through a passage. A college professor years ago advised looking up the definitions of all the words in a verse, especially if the verse was familiar.

There was a young man in my youth group years ago who, whenever he was asked to pray, asked that we’d learn something new from the Bible that day. We’ll continually be learning new things from the Bible; we’ll never exhaust it in this life. But sometimes we need reminders of what we’ve heard and learned before. “Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things” (2 Peter 1:12-15).

John Newton wrote a lovely hymn called “Waiting for Spring.” First he talks about God’s promise that the seasons will continue, so we have the assurance that “Winter and spring have each their use” and winter will give way to spring. He says, “Believers have their winters too.” “Though like dead trees awhile they seem,” the spiritual life God placed in them will cause them to bloom again. He closes with this prayer:

Dear LORD, afford our souls a spring,
Thou know’st our winter has been long;
Shine forth, and warm our hearts to sing,
And thy rich grace shall be our song.

May God shine in and warm our hearts and renew our love for Him and His Word.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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A collection of good reading online

Welcome to my latest list of good online reads:

Every Need Is Not a Call. “As we try to discern the often blurry lines between good, better, and best, we should prayerfully consider our passions, priorities, and providential circumstances. When we walk in dependence upon Christ, we can learn to respond to needs faithfully rather than frantically.”

Losses of a Prayerless Christian, HT to Challies. “Though God is sovereign over all things, He ordains the means of prayer. There are some things He will not do unless we pray, though He always does all He purposes (Psalm 135:6). The mystery does not change this truth: You do not have because you do not ask (James 4:2).”

Never Underestimate the Value of Ordinary, Brief, Christian Conversations, HT to Challies. It’s so true that we minister to each other in small, brief conversations and not just in official sermons or lessons. I can still remember comments made in passing decades ago that directed my thinking in certain areas. it’s so important to be in God’s Word and filled with His Spirit so He can use us in those ways.

Is There Such a Thing as Bad Missions? HT to Challies. “Good motives do not overcome bad methodology. Make sure your missionaries know what they are speaking into before they speak.”

Defending Without Becoming Defensive, HT to Challies. “There is a difference between winning an argument and winning a person. Of course, it’s easy to forget this in the middle of a tense conversation. Emotions are powerful when the stakes are high.”

A Little Poetry Improves Life: How Verse Awakens Wonder, HT to The Story Warren. “I ask the class, ‘How do you know that God intends for you to understand and enjoy poetry?’ . . . It is gratifying to see how quickly someone comes up with the correct answer. That answer is that approximately one-third of the Bible comes to us in poetic form.” Leland Ryken dispels misconceptions and shares tips for getting more out of poetry, especially Biblical poetry.

‘Redeeming Love’ Irredeemably Exploits Actors and Viewers. HT to Challies. “Debates among Christians about the presence of nudity and sex in media are certainly not new. But it’s an important topic to continually reengage and thoughtfully consider—especially as the boundaries of sexual content on screen continue to be pushed. The release of a ‘sexy’ faith-based film like Redeeming Love offers a chance to revisit this discussion, albeit from a new vantage point.”

What Happens When a Believer Dies? HT to Challies. “Every person reading this article is dying. Perhaps you have reason to believe that death will come very soon. You may be troubled, feeling uncertain, or unready to leave. Make sure of your relationship with Jesus Christ. Be certain that you’re trusting Him alone to save you—not anyone or anything else, and certainly not any good works you’ve done. And then allow yourself to get excited about what’s on the other side of death’s door.”

I don’t often read The Babylon Bee and I don’t know any of these people, but the caption about one-line summaries of classic novels caught my eye. This woman’s father had multiple sclerosis, and in the last years of his life couldn’t do much but read. He set out to read as many classic novels as he could and then wrote these summaries of them. Some are pretty funny, like Dracula by Bram Stoker: “Vampire advantage—immortality; disadvantage—limited liquid diet.” Commenters try their hand at one-line summaries, too.

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to the first FFF of a new month. Susanne at Living to Tell the Story invites us to look back over the week and name five of the best things from it. It’s a good practice in counting our blessings before they pass by, forgotten.

Here, then, are a few of my favorite parts of the last week:

1. A fixed dishwasher. I’ve mentioned my husband’s ongoing attempts to repair our dishwasher. He had one last thing to try before giving up. Thankfully, he was successful. We’ve run the dishwasher a few times now with no leaks.

2. Dinner at Jason and Mittu‘s, which we hadn’t done since Christmas time due to Covid at their house. Thankfully, everyone is well again. We enjoyed grilled hamburgers with several sides and rousing games of Uno and Dutch Blitz.

3. A negative Covid test. I’d had very mild symptoms for a few days, but decided to use a home Covid test before the visit with the kids mentioned above and before Jim had to travel (his first flight since the pandemic started). Thankfully, the test was negative.

4. Two organizing projects done. The first one involved the kitchen pantry and one cabinet and drawer. I had three specific goals: I wanted to get either the air fryer or instant pot (or both!) off the countertop, to get some newly accumulated baking supplies together in one location, and to take the cookie cutters and pumpkin-carving equipment, which are only used once a year or so, out of prime space in the big kitchen drawer. I was able to do all of those except the instant pot. Plus I got rid of some things and rearranged what remained in better ways. I even found a couple of things I had forgotten I had (like Valentine cupcake decorations—good timing!

Then, I had two under-bed storage boxes in our bedroom closet–because they wouldn’t fit under out bed. I had some gift-wrapping supplies in them, but was consolidating all that stuff somewhere else. The under-bed storage units did fit under the bed in the guest room, and I’ll use them for some supplies from the shed that I want to bring in. The extra space in the closet provided a better place for my husband’s shoes and an extra shelf on his side. Then I dusted everything I could reach in there—amazing how much dust gets into a closet.

5. The Olympic games. I don’t pay attention to sports generally, but I do like the Olympics. I watched some of the figure skating qualifications last night and look forward to the opening ceremony tonight.

What’s something good from your week?

Book Review: Half-Finished

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In Lauraine Snelling’s novel, Half Finished, two friends get fed up with all their half-done craft projects and decide to do something about it. One, Roxie, had heard about UFO clubs—not for discovering alien life, but for finishing UnFinished Objects, or projects in their case. They discuss the idea with a few other friends and decide on a time to meet together with each choosing one project to work on while they meet.

As word of the UFO club spreads, more people want in on it—because who doesn’t have unfinished projects of some kind. Soon there are morning and evening clubs at several different locations. Even some of the men get it on the meetings.

But the clubs grow beyond projects. Relationships form and people band together to help each other through the sorrows and joys they encounter.

Lauraine said in her afterword that the book was inspired by such a UFO club in her own town. And this story brought up fond memories of a group of women who did something similar in my early married days. We didn’t focus on unfinished projects—though that’s what they were. But it wasn’t a matter of projects that had been lying around for years. We were too young to have many like that. We just met to spend some time fellowshipping while working on our various projects. We’d rotate houses, and ladies would take turns bringing snacks. I always felt we were a little inspired by the sisters in the Little Women sequels, who would meet together and visit with each other while doing their mending. I was sorry to see our group disbanded after a while: I think some of the ladies felt guilty spending time working on crafts during the day.

The beginning of the book was hard to get into: it was very busy. There were so many characters, they and their families were hard to keep straight. Plus the pages seemed to be stuffed with unnecessary details. For instance, there was one paragraph all about one woman’s two credit cards and which she used for what and why she was using the one she did for a purchase that day. Unless something about the credit cards was going to come up later in the story, there was no need to know any of that, or even that she paid for the purchase with a credit card. I don’t remember seeing that kind of thing in any of Lauraine’s other books.

But once the narrative settled down into a few of the main characters’ stories, the book became more enjoyable. There’s Roxie, a widowed real estate agent and a founding member of the UFO club. She has a grown daughter, Loren, who lives with her. Fred and Ginny own a farm and share their bounty with others. Their son and his family live nearby, and they enjoy getting together often. Their granddaughter, Addy, is an expert cookie baker. Amalia is one of my favorite characters: she is widowed and sold her own farm to live in senior apartments. But, even though she couldn’t keep up with the farm alone, she’s still able-bodied and mentally sound. She spends her days helping out some of the other seniors with physical needs or her friends.

One of the themes of the book is that we’re all half-finished projects. We’re all in a state of growth. So we need to be patient with ourselves and each other, but we also need to keep growing and learning.

Ways to Disagree Without Tearing Each Other Down

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You never replace the toilet paper roll.

Why do you always do it the way I asked you not to?

How many times do I have to ask you not to do that?

You must be stupid to think that way.

When humans mix together for any length of time, friction develops. Even the brightest friendships and most dewy-eyed romances experience conflicts after a while. We each have our own history, preferences, ways of doing and thinking things. It’s inevitable that we’ll clash over something.

On top of all that, the Bible says we’re all sinners. We all want our own way. As someone once said, we’re all the stars of our own movies.

While disagreement is inevitable, some ways of disagreeing harm the relationship. All the statements at the beginning of this post are belittling. Disagreeing in ways that tear each other down will cause anger, resentment, and pain. If not dealt with, those jabs can harm and build walls between people. They may even destroy relationships. Even if the participants remain friends or married, they’ve injured each other so many times that the warmth is gone and they just go through the motions.

So how do we handle disagreements in ways that aren’t harmful?

I’m no expert, but after 47 or so years of being a Christian and reading God’s word, 40+ years of marriage, and more than that of living and interacting with people, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to pass along. And though many of the illustrations I share pertain to marriage, most of these are true of any relationship.

No one is perfect. We know not to expect perfection, yet we get irritated at each other’s imperfections. I read that one man felt his wife wanted him to be a combination of Billy Graham, Dwayne Johnson, and Cary Grant*: a spiritual giant, a superb physical specimen, handsome, suave, and romantic all.the.time. The pressure was wearing on him. We have to manage our expectations and let each other just be human and imperfect. Elisabeth Elliot wrote:

My second husband once said that a wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy ( From Love Has a Price Tag).

Understand each other’s personality and needs. Introvert/extrovert, indoor person/outdoor person, serious/fun people and other combinations are bound to clash. Even if personalities aren’t exact opposites, they also aren’t going to be exactly the same all the time. Each personality has its strengths and weaknesses. Honest discussions help, explaining how you feel or how things affect you, without accusation or assumptions. Perhaps offer a trade-off: “I’d love to go with you to that event if I can have some quiet time afterward to decompress.”

Take time to understand the other person’s perspective. Once when I was taking items to donate to the thrift store, my husband asked me to be sure to get a receipt for tax purposes. I balked at first: I felt that using donations to lessen taxes was like getting credit for what we gave, and weren’t we supposed to give without the left hand knowing what the right was doing (Matthew 6:1-4)? He explained that he wasn’t seeking credit, but he didn’t want to give the government any more in taxes than he had to. He saw it getting the receipt for a tax deduction as wise stewardship. Similarly, years ago I was on an email subscriber list for transverse myelitis patients and caregivers (before Facebook and even before message boards). A new technology was in the news that involved unused embryos leftover from in vitro fertilization treatments. Though the technology gave great hope to those who were paralyzed, those of us who believed life began at conception couldn’t condone it. You can imagine the blowup such a conversation could devolve into. To everyone’s credit we had a civil discussion with most of us understanding the others’ position even though we didn’t agree.

Don’t assume motives or accuse. Especially avoid always and never–they just make the other person defensive. Instead of, “You always leave your socks on the floor. What do you think I am, your maid?” perhaps say, “When you leave things lying around, it makes me feel like you expect me to pick up after you, like you think of me as a maid.” He’s probably not thinking at all of leaving things for her to pick up. He just forgot or overlooked some things. He would have picked them up eventually. But explaining rather than accusing will help him see things from her perspective. And yes, sometimes the situation is reversed and she’s the messy one.

Remember the relationship. Once I heard a speaker describe a wife having just cleaned her floors when her husband and children walked in with muddy shoes. The speaker admonished women to remember the relationship in such a case rather than lashing out. I thought to myself, “What about their remembering the relationship and respecting her ruined work that will now have to be redone?” While it’s true both sides should remember the relationship, the point was that we shouldn’t pounce on each other with angry words. The relationship is more important than the ruined floors. That doesn’t mean we have to be passive or never share when things bug us. But we don’t have to tear each other down in the process. The group discussion I mentioned a couple of paragraphs above probably went so well because the participants had forged relationships over years of sharing struggles and encouraging each other.

Does everything have to be our way? The classic little tiffs like how to squeeze the toothpaste tube or which way the toilet paper goes can grate against the nerves. But, really, is it that big a deal? Maybe you can compromise: do the toothpaste his way and the TP your way. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard men fuss about their wives pulling the seat up in the car and forgetting to set it back for their husband’s longer legs, or wives complaining about husband’s leaving the toilet seat up. Seriously, why can’t everyone adjust these things as they need them without fussing about them?

Don’t bring up a litany of past offenses. Some translations of 1 Corinthians 13:5 say love “keeps no record of wrongs.” When we wrong each other, we need to discuss it, confess it, forgive each other, and leave it in the past rather than bringing the same things up again later.

Don’t let offenses build up. Those of us who have a hard time speaking up when something bothers us need to avoid letting things build until we explode. Some of us don’t explode, but we seethe with resentment which comes out in coldness. None of those responses is healthy. It’s hard sometimes to know when to bring something to someone’s attention or when to overlook a fault. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” But Jesus gave a detailed process for handling an offense in Matthew 18. Perhaps one aspect is whether the person committed an actual sin (robbing a bank, abusing someone) which needs to be reported and whether they just were inconsiderate or said something we took wrong. We can and should let some things go. We shouldn’t nag and nitpick about every little thing. But if we’re going to overlook something, we need to truly overlook it rather than just avoiding confrontation.

Don’t belittle or berate. I wince when I hear women talking to their husband as if they were talking to children–or even talking in ways they shouldn’t even use with children. Ephesians 5:33 tells wives to respect husbands—we can talk about things that bother us respectfully. “But what if he’s not acting in a manner worthy of respect?” I like to turn this around: that same passage tells husbands to love wives as they love themselves. Do we always act in a manner worthy of love? Would we want our husband to withhold love until we get our act together? This is a grace we can give each other: to treat each other with love and respect even when we don’t deserve it. Isn’t that how God loves us? All of us are to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

The Golden Rule says to treat others as we would like to be treated. How would we like to be treated if something is upset with us or angry about something we’ve done?

Be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). This is one of the most crucial things: listen first and wait to react. Many of us know and believe these other truths, but in the heat of the moment will say things we regret.

Attack the problem, not the person. Internet exchanges are notorious for devolving into name-calling, stereotyping, generalizing, and putting down. Yet we do that in everyday life as well. If in our thoughts or words we begin belittling or attacking the other person, we need to pull back and put our focus on the specific problem at hand.

Apologize when wrong. We’ve had relatives that could not seem to apologize after a blow-up. When they had cooled off, they might bring some little gift to try to smooth things over. We had to accept that was just their way and we weren’t likely to change them. But apologizing and asking for forgiveness are often the first steps in healing the breach. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

Forbear and forgive easily. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13). Ephesians 4:1-3 and 31-32 echo the same. One former pastor used to say forbearance (as the KJV puts “bearing with”) was just good old fashioned putting up with each other. I used to get stuck on forgiveness when I felt the other person didn’t deserve it. But the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 (told by Jesus in answer to Peter’s question about how many times he should forgive his brother) helped me have the right focus. The man was forgiven an insurmountable debt he owed, but then wouldn’t forgive another a much smaller amount. God has forgiven us an insurmountable debt of sin. Nothing that anyone else has done to us compares to our sin against Him. Can’t we, by His grace, forgive others their comparatively smaller sins against us?

Don’t grieve the Spirit. Ephesians 4 talks about the change that should be evident in our lives when we believe on Christ. Verse 29 says to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Verse 32, mentioned above, tells us to let bitterness, anger, and such be put away from us and  to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Sandwiched between those two is verse 30: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” We lift that verse out of context and generalize it. It does apply to many things. But originally it’s right here in the context of speech, anger, and bitterness. Have we realized that the way we disagree with each other can actually grieve the Spirit of God?

Look to Christ. “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:22-23).

Attempting these things shows us quickly that they are beyond us. We need help. Elisabeth Elliot said in A Lamp for My Feet:

How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God’s messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort across my path? Insofar as his treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience which only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he is God’s messenger. God sends him in order that he may send me running to God for help.

What have you found that helps you deal with conflict in non-destructive ways?

_______
*I don’t remember if those were the exact names, other than Billy Graham’s.

**Abuse is something we should never overlook and put up with. If you are being abused by a spouse, boyfriend, friend, or bully, please seek out a trusted person that you can confide in.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Here are some of the thought-provoking reads found this week:

Bible Contradictions? A Response to Bart Ehrman, HT to Challies. “So, I did read the text. And, what I found is that Bart Ehrman puts forward some difficult passages for believers. But what I also found is that a moment or two of thinking erased many of the contradictions.”

Three Prayer Requests for a Heart on Life Support (about prodigals, not end-of-life decisions). “In the letter to the church of Sardis (Rev. 3:1–6), Christ addressed a church that had a ‘reputation for being alive,’ but was full of ‘dead’ people, or as we might term them, prodigals. Christ then gives the church a series of commands, which will make helpful prayers as we intercede for the prodigals in our own lives.”

Instant Coffee, Instant Faith. “It is not the massive floods that cause a tree to grow; it’s the steady stream of water day after day, month after month, year after year. The Christian life does not consist only of great breakthroughs; it consists mainly in mundane, steady obedience. Like David prayed, it is the pursuit of ‘one thing . . . to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple’” (Psalm 27:4).”

Bible Study Is Hard Work (And That Is OK). HT to Challies. “So, are you struggling in your reading of God’s Word? That’s OK. You’re supposed to. The Bible is deep, rich, and ancient.” But there’s reward on the other side of it.

About Those Sparrows, HT to Challies. “Five sparrows. Two pennies. Bought, crushed, ground into stew, discarded, their life snuffed out just like that. Not forgotten by God. If God ‘remembered the sparrow’…if his eye was on the sparrow wouldn’t they not be bought and sold like this?” I confess, I have wondered this. I like this perspective.

Fear of Being Labeled a “White Savior,” HT to Challies. “Whereas I cannot speak to the motives of every white person working in a third world environment, I can with confidence say that this mentality is not compatible with Christian missions. I propose that the Christian missionary is not a ‘white savior’ for the following reasons.”

Writing on The Dawn Treader. “Show, don’t tell” has been the primary instruction for writers of fiction and narrative nonfiction for years. This article explores how C. S. Lewis gave us a clear idea of the kind of boy Eustace Scrub was without a single adjective.

A Grandma Scams a Scammer. Loved this story.

I was looking for a “prayer for the middle-aged” that Elisabeth Elliot recently quoted on her radio program when I discovered this. It’s not the one I was looking for, but this lady’s delivery is so funny.

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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It’s Friday, time to look back over the blessings of the week
with Susanne at Living to Tell the Story and other friends.

Here we are at the last FFF of January already. We’re almost 1/12 of the way through 2022! Here are some favorites of this week.

1. Take-out, always a favorite. We don’t usually get it all weekend, but it was nice to have the weekend “off.” I requested McAlister’s Deli Friday night—we hadn’t had it in a while. Then Jim suggested Chick-Fil-A Saturday night and wanted pizza Sunday night.

2. One organizing project done. I have four areas I wanted to work on even before Christmas, but then didn’t get to in the busyness of the holidays. I tackled one on Saturday. We have a short bookcase in our bedroom where I put books I’ve bought, received as gifts, or have read but haven’t decided what to do with yet. I sorted through and dusted all of them, filled one box to give away, found places on other shelves for some, and stacked the remaining unread ones in a more orderly fashion.

3. Dinner and a visit. Jason and Mittu brought dinner over one night when Jim was away.

4. Catching up with a good friend. One of my dearest and longest-known friends and I had a long phone conversation this week. It was so nice to have that extended time rather than a text or Facebook comment here and there (though those are nice, too).

5. Frito bars. The name may sound strange, but the sweet and salty combination was really good, and there were very easy to make. I halved the recipe for an 8×8 pan this time, but I look forward for making it for the rest of the family sometime.

Is it bad that three of my five favorites this week involved food? 😀

How was your week?

End of January Reflections

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The end of the month is still a few days away. But I have other posts in mind between now and then, so I thought I’d do my end-of-month wrap-up now.

January is usual a rest month after the beloved busyness of December. It hasn’t quite worked out that way this year. But we’ve had a bit of down time in-between appointments and appliance repairs.

Covid hit my daughter-in-law and grandson, and we didn’t see them for three weeks–a record (and a hard one!) I’m thankful for FaceTime when we can’t see them in person. But they are finally doing better, and we got together for a couple of times the last few days.

Covid numbers are up again here, as they are in others places. Our church is meeting in person, but thankfully they keep the Zoom option open.

I mentioned in last week’s Friday’s Fave Five that my husband had been working on our leaking dishwasher. The parts he ordered didn’t fix the problem. After two weekends working on it, he posted this on Facebook:

There is one more thing he’ll try when the part comes in. If that doesn’t work—it’s dishwasher shopping time.

I was just telling a friend today that something about January makes me want to sort and organize. I don’t usually do a whole closet or cabinet at a time, but sometimes it will suddenly hit me that this item would work better there and this would be a better way to sort that. I had three areas (or more accurately four–two are in the kitchen, but they are separate spaces) that I was chafing to get to before Christmas. That didn’t happen, but I want to tackle them this month. I’ve done one—three to go.

A question about Feedly

Do any of you use Feedly as a blog aggregator? I like to put the blogs I read in there, and I can see when they have new posts instead of having to visit them individually. Feedly has been working fine for years, but lately it hasn’t been showing all of a site’s blog posts. There’s one that won’t update at all. Another only updates twice a week though they post five times a week. Another has posts on an irregular basis, but Feedly won’t show any posts from them for a while and then will show three all on the same day (not the way they were posted). Other blog posts show up like they are supposed to—at least, as far as I know.

I’ve tried to Google the problem but haven’t found a solution. When I click on Feedly’s support button, it takes me to a page that shows their paid plans—so I guess you get no support if you use the free plan?

It may be time to try a different service. Do you use something other than Feedly? I don’t need something with all kinds of features—I just want a blog aggregator.

I know I could subscribe to blogs via email, and some bloggers prefer that you follow them that way. But I really don’t want blog posts coming to my email. I like keeping blogs separate to read when I can get them. If they came through the mail, I’d either feel pressured to read them as soon as they come in, or they’d get buried and I’d miss them.

Creating

No cards this month–nice since December and February are big card-making months here.

I have another project in mind for the guest room, but I’ll share more about that when I get it started.

Watching and Listening

I mentioned earlier this week listening to a series on aging from Elisabeth Elliot’s old Gateway to Joy programs. BBN Radio is playing them this week, but they are also available on the EE web site.

I had not watched The Amazing Race for the last few years. But this year the Holderness Family is on it-–my son and d-i-l have shared with us several of their videos. I love that they treat each other with respect . . . unlike some other contestants. That’s one reason I stopped watching the show before—all the drama with people fighting. But I am looking forward to this year’s race.

We’ve been watching Around the World in 80 Days and All Creatures Great and Small on PBS Masterpiece Theatre. This is the second season of All Creatures, and even though it’s not entirely true to the books, the feel of the show and the characters are so cozy. 80 Days, however, is the kind of remake that riles me. It’s been a while since I read/listened to the book, but from what I can tell, only the characters’ names and the bare overview of the story are the same. It’s not just that they turned Detective Fix (who in the book mistook Fogg for a bank robber and was after him for much of the book) into a young female journalist. But they’ve changed nearly every scene, making it more fan fiction than a remake. And they are trying to infuse 21st century sentiments into a 19th century work. Argh! But . . . if I can just take it as it is and not compare it to the book, it’s enjoyable to watch.

We also watched Darkest Hour, about Winston Churchill’s appointment and early days as Prime Minister during WWII. It has been out for a while, but we had never heard of it. It was quite good, though some scenes and details are fictional. (Warning–one or two bad words.)

Reading

Since last time I have finished:

I’m currently reading:

  • 100 Best Bible Verses to Overcome Worry and Anxiety
  • Be Successful (1 Samuel): Attaining Wealth That Money Can’t Buy by Warren W. Wiersbe
  • The Middle Matters: Why That (Extra)Ordinary Life Looks Really Good on You by Lisa-Jo Baker
  • IBS for Dummies by Carolyn Dean and L. Christine Wheeler
  • Framley Parsonage (fiction) by Anthony Trollope (audiobook)
  • Half-Finished (fiction) by Lauraine Snelling

Blogging

Besides book reviews, Friday Fave Fives, and Laudable Linkage, I had these posts on the blog this month:

  • When God Changes Your Plans. “God’s highest blessing may not be having my plans and dreams turn out like I want.”
  • Books Shape Our Thinking. “We observed over the course of years a definite shift in thinking and beliefs in each of these cases. The speaker or writer didn’t come to their new views from their Bible reading, but from the books they read. Those books then colored their view of Scripture.”
  • Blameless? “Sometimes the word ‘blameless’ caused me the same kind of frustration as a white shirt. My flesh fails daily. How can I ever be blameless?”
  • God Is Not Going to Slap the Cookie From Your Hand. “Our standing before God and His love for us are totally dependent on His grace, not our actions. My ups and downs, stumblings, faults, and failures don’t threaten His love for me or my salvation. But Jesus did say, ‘If you love me, you will keep my commandments’ (John 14:15).”
  • An Old Poem for a New Year. Part of a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier about his birthday seemed applicable to the start of a new year.

Looking Ahead

On the plus side, we make much about Valentine’s Day, plus my daughter-in-law’s birthday is this month. A friend and I are trying to get together for lunch one day, an event that has been postponed due to the holidays and illnesses. On the downside, I have a medical test I am not looking forward to. But getting it over with will be a plus.

And each day is one day closer to spring, warmer days, more sunlight, and growing things!

How was your January? What are you looking forward to in February?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)