Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Do you have siblings? (If not, keep reading – I’ll get to you.) How many and are they boys or girls? Where do you fall in the birth order? How did you view your “spot” in the family compared with the others? If you are the oldest, did you resent the things the youngest got to do that you didn’t? If the youngest, what did you want to do like the older ones? And if you are more of a middle child, how did that impact you? How do you think your birth order shaped your personality? Did you and your siblings like each other growing up or did you fight all the time? Are you close now? Or at least friends with each other?! What memories stand out about you and your siblings?

If you are an only child, how did you like that? Were you glad to have all the attention or did you want to have a brother or sister? What advantages were there to being an only child? What disadvantages? Which side of the fence is greener?!

For everyone, did your sibling experiences (or lack thereof!) affect your decision to have kids or to have a certain number?

I am the oldest of six. The youngest was born when I was 17, and the first four of us are each 4 years apart, so we’re pretty spread out. I have one brother, next in age to me, and the rest are sisters. The youngest is actually my half-sister, but I rarely think of her that way — she is as much my sister as the others.

My parents were divorced when I was 15, and my brother spent most of his time with my dad, so with a big gap between me and my younger sisters, I felt more like an assistant mom than an older sister. We loved each other, but we didn’t have the close “BFF” relationship of many sisters closer in age (thus making it hard sometimes to choose birthday cards — most of them seem to come from that angle.) Once after marriage when my husband and I came home to visit, I was astonished that my then teen-age sisters picked me up, and they were all nearly grown, tall, confidant, beautiful. I felt, “I don’t even know these people!” But it has been fun getting to know them on an adult level.  When my mother was alive, we kept up with each other mostly through her. Since she passed away and with the rise of texting and Facebook, we keep up with each other directly more than ever before. I always enjoy when we get together.

I enjoyed being the oldest except for being the “built-in baby-sitter.” When my mother and step-father got together, they were understandably like newlyweds, going “out” together often. Plus we moved to Houston during the summer, and while they found jobs during the day time, I was home with the kids. I had to pretty much beg and plead to go anywhere or do anything. In retrospect, with that being a vulnerable time in my life, it was probably best that I wasn’t free to roam like other teen-agers: I might have ended up in a lot of trouble. I don’t really envy so much that my younger sisters had more freedom and less discipline, because I think the discipline was good for me, but I think I just wished at some point that my parents had understood how I felt.

But I did enjoy having special privileges that came with being the oldest, getting to do various things first, etc. Our home in Houston had two bedrooms besides the master, one very small and one very large. I got the small bedroom to myself and bunk beds were put in the larger room for my sisters. I loved having my own quiet private space! It became a tradition after I moved out that the oldest sister moved into that room, and as each one moved out, the next oldest sister moved into it.

I think I am your typical oldest child: responsible, dependable, serious (mostly), eager to please, preferring to avoid trouble, wanting to be “successful.” Some sources say that firstborns are “natural” leaders, and I have never felt like a leader. I’ve always preferred others to lead and I’d be a good helper. I also have tried very hard not to be a bossy know-it-all to my siblings.

Sadly, I have not heard from my brother in a long time. My mom had been paying for his cell phone, and after she passed away my step-father continued doing so until he just couldn’t any more. My brother was having financial problems and was not able to get his own phone. I assume he is at the same address — the Christmas card and letter I sent wasn’t returned to me — but I am not really sure how he is doing.

Here we all are at my wedding:

And at my mom’s house after her funeral almost five years ago, the last time we were all together:

I had never set a number on how many kids I wanted to have, but I was pretty sure I did not want a very large family. It seems to me that people who do the best with a lot of children are somewhat laid back in personality. There are a lot of pressures and a lot to keep up with the more children you have, and I have seen some people handle it all very admirably, and I know that if the Lord allowed that for us, He’d provide the grace (and finances!) to deal with it all. But I think my three were just the right number for me. Sometimes I do wish we’d had a fourth, and it had been a girl — but nowadays I am content to wait for grandchildren. 😀