It’s been a while since I shared any kind of family news except in passing, so I thought I’d give a little post-relocation update. When I start to write things like this, I sometimes feel this kind of post will be lightly visited or commented on, and I am often surprised and touched by your care and concern and interest.
Well, it has been two months since we moved. That seems unreal! I have all the inside boxes unpacked except for some of decorations, and I hope to dig into those this week. I still don’t know where I am going to place everything, but I’ll start with what I do know. I love how having things on the walls personalizes a home. Then once I get the bulk of that done, I have some boxes in the garage and shed to go through.
Everything is coming along nicely and I don’t have to use the GPS every time I leave the house any more. Aside from all the things I disliked about our old house, its one major advantage was that it was close to most everything.Β School and church were five minutes away (three if all the lights were green!) as were grocery stores, W-Mart, the dentist, the mall, Jim’s mom’s place, etc. Here, school is about 8 minutes away (more if a train is going by or traffic is busy), as is W-Mart and Target, Jim’s mom is about 12 minutes away, church is 20, the mall is about 20, maybe a little more. So I am spending more time in the car, which is one of my least favorite things. But I was just thinking yesterday that I could start listening to some sermon and seminar tapes while I drive and at least feel like I am making good use of the time. My car has a cassette tape player rather than a CD player, and I discovered a lot of tapes during the move. So I might try that, on longer drives at least.
It has been nice to have Jim home in the evenings. He does still have to travel some, but not nearly as much. We’ve had a lot to do on weekends, but hopefully soon we’ll settle into a more relaxing routine. He has been the one most pulled in different directions and pressured over the last several weeks between taking care of details with all of our moves, both houses, his mom, work, etc., etc., so I am really hoping things slow down for him soon.
I’m having to adjust my cooking. Even though in SC we often only had three of us at home for dinner, Jim was there on weekends or Jason and Mittu came over for dinner. But I am ending up with a lot of leftovers now even when I’ve tried to pare down. I have some for lunch but can only deal with so much!
Jesse does sorely miss his old friends, and it still gives me a pang to think of his not graduating from the same school his brothers did, the school he had gone to all his life. But he seems to have jumped right into things at his new school and at church. They’ve been very welcoming. Last weekend he was invited to a youth activity at a friend’s church and this next weekend there is an overnight activity with our church youth. He’s been to several school volleyball games and plays basketball once a week after school with several guys hoping to make this year’s team. He took his camera to one of the volleyball games, and showing his principal one of his pictures resulted in his being asked to take photos for the yearbook. So, even though he misses his old friends and his brothers and sister-in-law, he’s adjusting well. His grades were lower than usual the first few weeks, I think just from adjusting to new teachers and how they do things, but they seem to be coming back up now.
Jeremy has been in Rhode Island a little over a month now. He lives in a house that has been divided up into apartments and all his neighbors are polite and fairly quiet. He had enjoyed experimenting with cooking for some timeΒ before, so cooking for himself wasn’t a totally new thing — just having to do it every night for himself was! And shopping for them! He’s having to learn to cut down recipes as well: some of his first dinners lasted three or four days until he was tired of them. He really likes his job and had some friends up there before he moved and another couple who have moved there since then, so he is enjoying get-togethers with them.
Since Jeremy lived at home during college (though on week days we only saw him late at night and early in the morning) and then at home after college, this was our first major separation. He had only been away from home a week at a time before. And this was farther away and longer — this was actual moving out rather than going away for a visit. So this separation was hard on us all in various ways and I’ve had more than one teary session, even reminding myself that this is normal development and we had him at home longer than many parents had their kids there and telling myself I just needed to appreciate that. But, it is still hard when someone who has been a part of your life and home for 26 years isn’t there any more. I am glad we live in this era where we can text, Facebook, or call with ease. When I was first married we were doing well to call home long distance once a month. That would be so hard! But we’re all adjusting, and knowing he enjoys what he does and where he is helps a lot.
Even though Jason flew out of the nest when he got married, since they lived so close by I didn’t really consider him too far out of the nest. I think it was hard for them at first being the only ones left in SC, but they’ve had a lot of visitors with people they know coming through town, so I think that helped a bit. And we’ve been there or they’ve been here about every other week, I think, so we haven’t had a really long separation. I don’t think I have mentioned this here before, but it is public knowledge now, so I don’t think they’d mind my mentioning that they’ve been putting in job applications both here in TN and in OK, where Mittu is from (one reason they’ve been up here often). So we’ll see how the Lord leads. It has been discouraging for them to travel for an interview and have it seem to go very well only to have the job go to someone else, but they’re waiting for the Lord’s timing.
Something else I don’t think I have mentioned here is that Jason has been having trouble with migraines since last winter. I don’t think he ever had them before in his life, but he started getting them, and now they’re almost a daily occurrence. He has been to several doctors and had several tests run, but has had little relief. Thankfully the American Family Medical Leave Act allowed him to keep his insurance and not be penalized for missing work, but of course, he wasn’t making any money when he didn’t work, either, and that ran out several days ago, so they had to let him go. They did so on good terms, though, saying that if he ever was well enough, they’d love to have him back, so that helps. He and Mittu were living in an old house, so we were hoping maybe it was a mildew problem or something, and once they moved out, the headaches would go away. But so far it hasn’t seemed to help. They are living in our old house, painting and doing some minor repairs and keeping the grass cut, etc. so that is a help to them and to us. I’d appreciate your prayers for the Lord’s healing and guidance in their lives.
Grandma has been adjusting well to her new place. This place has a smaller staff yet they are more attentive — I don’t know how that can be, but it is. She has one main lady who cares for her through the week, whereas in the old place you never know who was going to be there when. She has double windows that look out into a neighbor’s yard, and I think she enjoys seeing some of nature. She always liked to be outdoors as much as possible when she was younger, and even though she likes to keep to her room and read most of the day, I think she enjoys this window to the outside world. She is generally a pretty happy person. I mentioned a scare with her health a couple of weeks ago, but everything has seemed to be on a even keel since then. She does go to Sunday School and church with us and then comes over to out house for Sunday dinner.
We really enjoy our new church. These folks have been the best of any place we have ever attended when it comes to welcoming new people beyond the initial handshake and greeting. Several people speak to us and introduce themselves every time we go and several have gotten pertinent information to us or made sure we knew of upcoming events and personally invited us. Even though it is difficult going to a new church, they’ve made every effort to ease the transition. They just put together a pictorial directory this last summer, which helps immensely! We often flip through it after a service and review who we met in order to try to remember names. We really enjoy the pastors, preaching, and music as well.
I have to admit I don’t really miss the ministries I was involved in at the old church. I think I was feeling more pressured than I realized, as it has been such a relief to get things done at home without feeling the need to stop and get other things done or plan for the next thing coming up. There were a couple of things I had considered laying aside when Jim’s mom first came, because I knew that her coming would have an impact on my time, but they didn’t take a lot of time in themselves, so I kept talking myself out of dropping them. But I think sometimes just having the responsibility is weighty even if the time isn’t a major investment. I do miss the ladies’ booklet and the outlet to minister to other ladies in that way, especially when I come across something I’d love to share there. But the ladies group and the booklet are in wonderful hands.
Sometimes I have wondered if, after I get the house all set up, I am going to ask myself, “Now what?” But I don’t think so. As I’ve mentioned before, I have had some ideas simmering on the back burner for writing and for a possible web site, I have family mementos that I discovered and gathered during the course of moving that I need to figure out what to do with, and I have about ten-twelve years of photos to sort through! Plus I want to make some curtains and assorted other things, so I am sure I will have plenty to keep me busy as the duties of everyday life allow. I am sure opportunities to minister will come up over time, but for now I am more than content to be in a nesting phase. With the older two out of the nest and with the realization that Jesse will probably be in dorms for college rather than living at home, I am more acutely aware of the shortness of the time with him before he tries his own wings, and I want to make the most of the time he is here and be available to him.
So that’s about it. We’re just plugging away at everyday life, getting things done as we’re able, and enjoying our new place and situation. And looking forward to Thanksgiving when we’ll all be together again!
Wow! Well, I personally like your family updates. Makes me feel like I really do know you all and I DO pray for the things you ask us to pray for. I will esp. be praying for Jason and Mittu – for his headaches, for God’s leading, and esp. for those headaches!
I’m glad that Jesse is adjusting to his new school so very well. That would be a hard transition and very difficult.
When Jonathan’s family lived across the yard from us, we’d frequently have meals together. I STILL cook for seven adults and we’re constantly dealing with the left overs. It’s been a year. You’d think I’d have figured it out by now! But I hear what you are saying. Thankfully even our 1 year old seems to eat like a teenage boy so we’re not bad off. We’re just usually very tired of what I made by the end of it!
Thank you for the update. Of course I read every single word. Your friends will, you know — and they will care about what you write.
I am glad you aren’t missing your ministries. I wondered a bit if you would, but I also remembered that it was about 6 months before I noticed a void in my life after I moved. Luckily, since you have been welcomed there that won’t happen to you. (I am content and my input is valued here in FH, it was Oahu where I felt unwanted and out-of-place.)
Jason’s headaches — are they looking at allergies? Also, have him see a chiropractor and an optometrist. Is he playing video games or working with rapidly flashing lights? Tell him to stop and see what happens. In the meantime, I will add him to my prayer list. I used to suffer migraines and they are horrid.
Also, on the chance that the migraines are stress related, he might want to check a mental health counselor. That would be a last resort though, I think. Since the headaches come every day, they are probably organic.
What a wonderful post Barbara. It’s so cool that you take the time to update like this. The American Family Medical Leave Act is a wonderful thing. It’s so beneficial to so many and not have to worry about your job. I’m sorry to hear about Jason and his migraines. My Grandfather, Mom and Sister all suffer(ed) with them. It must be awful. My sister gets them really bad still to this day. I know she doesn’t each chocolate any more because of it. I so hope the job outlook does well. Grandma also sounds like she is doing very well also. Things are going great for you and that’s all that really matters in the long run. Thanks for sharing. π I hope they find something to help Jason with those migraines. My thoughts and aloha are always with you π
I’m glad everyone is settling in well in their various places and roles. We’ve moved so often that sometimes I don’t even think about how it might be if I’d lived somewhere a long time and had to move! You’ll really enjoy this fall and winter with all the nesting you want to do! Thanks for the update!
I’m so glad to hear that everyone is adjusting and all is coming together and I’ll be praying that Jim gets to slow down soon.
I can only imagine how much you must be enjoying arranging your new home, Barbara! And now that you are not committed to as much, you can tackle those projects that are waiting for your attention.
I’ll be praying for Jason and Mittu…for his healing and for their pursuit of jobs. In Jesus’ Name!
I can’t imagine having Daniel, Erin and little Jaylon living in another state as Jeremy is! They just moved into town, about 7 miles from us and I’m having to adjust! π We have the comfort and assurance that we’ve raised our sons to the best of our ability, Barbara, and the Lord will honor that and they will be fine. Now, WE just have to adjust and do alright, hm? π
That is so wonderful the your mother-in-law is doing so well at her new home! Just wonderful! The Lord is good!
I’ll be praying for Jesse, too, as he deals with missing his old school and friends. I can only imagine what he is feeling, as I went to the same school for all twelve years. It must surely help, though, that he is doing well at his new school and church. He sounds like he is a real social butterfly! π
I am just so happy for all of you, Barbara and I admire you for the strength that you show in making such a huge life change. You are amazing! π ((HUGS))
Oh, and I know what you mean about trying to adjust quantities of food for just one or two people. I’ve always had difficulty with that but I usually share any leftovers we have with some of the single and/or elderly ladies at church and they are so appreciative or I sometimes freeze what is leftover.
I feel like I could just comment endlessly sometimes to your posts but I’ll stop! π
Love the updates Barbara. My heart really went out to Jason and the migraines. I cannot imagine going through one almost daily. Saying a prayer for him.
It’s nice to hear that both your other sons are adjusting to both of their new homes. It must take a big worry off your shoulders to know that other than minor things they are doing well.
I always love reading your family updates. You are only one blog – but I feel like I know your whole family! And I’ve prayed for them all at one time or another!
Amanda used to suffer migraine headaches HORRIBLY! From the time she was 3 years old — only no doctor would believe me until she was 9!!! Long story! But they were migraines! Hers were caused by the fact that she had had meningitis when she was an infant and was borderline epileptic due to that. They said she would outgrow it after puberty and she did! But I did learn a few things during that time… have they checked Jason for allergies? I’m wondering if something Mittu cooks with OFTEN might be the culprit? Or is there any chance he has just recently started … or stopped… drinking coffee? Caffeine can cause migraines… but lack of it can ALSO cause them! (if one has been used to having it) Migraines are really such a mystery… there are sO many causes. I sure do hope they pin it down soon. I will be praying to that end. (of course, always God’s will – with my
suggestiondesire!)I’m so glad things are going well for you and that you enjoy your new church! THAT I think can make all the difference in the world! I’m sure you do have plenty to keep you busy at home… I’m also sure that as soon as THEY feel comfortable, the requests for your help will start coming along at church! I’m glad you’re getting to know your neighborhood too. It starts feeling homier when you know where you’re going and stop feeling like a visitor in your own town!
I guess we all knew that Jesse was going to miss his old friends like crazy… but I’m sO happy to hear that he IS adjusting and making new friends so readily! Not all kids would be able to do that at this stage of the game… I really did pray for him that he would be able to do this! And I’m sure it’s just his personality to be able to make the best of whatever the situation… but WOW! I thank God for being WITH that boy!
You know… when you talk about how hard it is sometimes to give up having the kids living with you – especially Jeremy – at this point in time… I think about how often I had to “have a talk with myself” after Amanda joined the army, and REMIND myself that I raised her UP to BE an independent person and to be ABLE to take care of herself, and WHY was I sO upset when she went out and DID just that!!? Well… of course… it was because I MISSED her! Simple as that. And I knew it. And I WAS proud of her! But that didn’t stop me MISSIN’ her! It IS hard bein’ the mama sometimes… it just is.
All in all it sounds like life is behaving itself though, and you are all doing well. I’m sure things will settle down for Jim now that everybody else is settled where they need to be for the moment — though my prayers will be with Jason and Mittu also for their new jobs. Lots of prayers for the H family right now! Though I am certain God has it ALL under control. He has a PLAN, you know… π
Thank you for the updates. I’m happy to hear that you’re settling well in the new place. The nesting phase sounds wonderful.
Migraines are nasty. I get them too although a lot lesser these days. Chocolate and bright lights are usually the trigger for me. Jason would have to check what triggers his.
I love reading your updates!
I’m glad that all seems to be going well and that you are settling in. Sometimes it takes a while but you all seem to be adjusting rather well.
I know what you mean about the ministries. I’ve taken on more things with the school this year and I’ve decided that next year I’ve got to scale it back. It’s just too stressful and I have no time to get things done around here that need too. It actually makes me a grumpier person. I feel like I’m living in a constant state of stress and chaos. I think it’s God’s way of telling me to slow down, realize that I’m not superwoman, and that at this time in my life I need to focus on the family.
I’m so sorry about the migraines. I get them too so I can totally understand the pain your son is in. It is life altering and a person is incapacitated during a migraine episode. Daily migraines are the worst. I hope they can break the cycle for him. The only thing that finally helped me was a daily preventative medication. It’s not for everyone and there are side effects, but the risks were worth the rewards for me. I’ll keep him in my prayers.
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