Today would have been my mom‘s 74th birthday. She passed away 5 1/2 years ago.
So far this day isn’t as weepy as some of her previous birthdays have been, though I have been a little moist-eyed a couple of times. The first year or two I couldn’t even go near a Hallmark store the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day. The first year I accidentally wandered into one in April looking for something completely unrelated to Mother’s Day but was undone by all the Mom stuff in the store and had to leave.
There are still moments when I am unexpectedly blindsided by grief or by missing her, but they don’t come quite as often. One day I came across something that would have been a perfect gift for her and was lamenting that I couldn’t give it to her when it hit me that, where she is now, she’s seeing things so much greater than earthly perishable gifts.
She had been so dreading retirement, fearful of going crazy or being bored to death at home alone so much (she was never the homebody I am), I kind of hate that she missed the birth of the blogosphere and Facebook: she would have loved both.
I started out today, though, thinking that I just didn’t want it to be a sad day. Though I miss her, miss sending her gifts and talking on the phone, miss telling her about what’s going on in our lives, today I just want the comfort of remembering her.
And I pray for many in my extended family who are grieving her loss as well today, many whose own relationship with the Lord I’m not sure of, that this reminder of death and loss and grief might be used of God to help them see and deal with their own need of Him so they’ll have His forgiveness and help and grace here and now as well as when their time comes.
Stray Thoughts 
Amen to this!
Monday was the anniversary of my dad’s death so I have a bucket load of either sympathy or understanding to what you are saying. It’s been two years here. Easier than last year. Unbelievable to think of all that has happened in the family in the last two years. Definitely some people I would like to introduce him to! But he’s perfectly content. And one day we will be also.
Hau’oli La Hanau to your mom. I think it is terrific that every year you do a post about her on her birthday. That warms my heart and Barbara I love this:
“I just want the comfort of remembering her.”
I hope you get all the comfort today that you so richly deserve. 🙂
I’m sure come my mother in law’s birthday we will also be feeling all of this. This Mother’s Day was hard not having her at the table.
This gives me comfort to know that even though you still miss your mom, you’re okay. I was so glad when Mother’s Day was over this year. I still have my mom’s one-year anniversary date of her death coming up in September, but I have a few months in between with no significant dates. They’re always hard.
This is a sweet way to honor your mom.
I said a prayer for you. Blessings!
How great are the promises of God’s Word, we have a future and a hope. Blessings to you, Barbara, my Momma is there, too, and while the tears still will well up at the loss of her here, the joy of knowing we’ll have eternity in heaven is what we cling to.
Your comment that spurred mine to you was “I started out today, though, thinking that I just didn’t want it to be a sad day.” You know that is what she wants for you, too. I’m sending a hug your way, we love our Mommas. We are glad that they loved Jesus, too!
:-}pokey
Your post makes me want treasure my mom even more. I’m going home tonight for the weekend and I’d be sure to spend time with my family. God bless you and your family!
It is good that your sorow is giving way and you’re able to better focus on the good. Even so, just know that here are still moments, over 30 years after her death, that I still painfully mourn my Grandmother. I had to smile because one of those missing Gram moments came to me when I thought how much she would have loved the internet. She probably would have been the first member of the family with an e-reader, too!
What a sweet post sharing about the close relationship you enjoyed with your Mom.