Thursday Thirteen: Mother’s Dictionary


This has made the e-mails rounds several times over, so it’s probably old to many. But I thought these were funny even after several readings, and appropriate for Mother’s Day coming up. There are just a few more than thirteen, but I’ll let you have those free. πŸ™‚ The lovely Thursday Thirteen banner above was made by Yellow Rose.

ADULTS: Group of people Mom longs to communicate with after several hours of talking in small words about topics like “who touched who first”

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

BECAUSE: Mom’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.

CHINA: Legendary nation reportedly populated by starving children who love leftover vegetables.

DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

LOOK OUT!: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

SUNDAY BEST: Attractive, expensive children’s clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

“WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”: Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly to “Get a sponge.”

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11 thoughts on “Thursday Thirteen: Mother’s Dictionary

  1. Pingback: Assorted reading and stray thoughts for Mother’s Day « Stray Thoughts

  2. Pingback: The Joys and Pains of Mother’s Day | Stray Thoughts

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