I posted this on a Thursday Thirteen last summer, but I thought of it again this week when I thought my skin was going to be flayed before I could get from my car to Wal-Mart. It’s not original with me: I received it in an e-mail a while back.
Thirteen signs of summer in the South:
1. You step outside at 7:30 a.m. and break out into a sweat.
2. The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
3. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
4. The cows are giving evaporated milk.
5. You can make instant sun tea.
6. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
7. You decide the best parking place is determined by amount of shade instead of distance.
8. Hot water now comes out of both taps.
9. A parent laments, “I wish it would rain – not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it – but for my 7-year-old.”
10. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
11. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
12. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
13. The trees are whistling for the dogs.