I’ve mentioned that I am rereading Becoming God’s True Woman, a series of messages to women edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Today I finished the latter half of the chapter “A Wife’s Responsibility to Help Her Husband” by Barbara Hughes, which was reprinted from her book Disciplines of a Godly Woman, which I’ve not read. One part particularly stood out and spoke to me this morning.

In Genesis 2:18, before creating woman, God said, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

This doesn’t mean, of course, that the man never helps the woman or that the woman never does anything else in life but sit beside the man waiting to see what he wants help with. The fact that we feel the need to clarify and explain this underscores the truth of what Barbara goes on to say:

So why does our blood pressure rise at the mention of the word helper? It’s a cultural norm for us to associate weakness and even inferiority with the one who assists. No one wants to play second fiddle. But the fact is, without a second violin there is no harmony.

And harmony, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Then later in the chapter she points out that in John 14:16 Jesus promises His disciples that the Holy Spirit will come to them after He has ascended back to the Father: “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.” Some versions use the word “Helper” in place of Comforter. The Holy Spirit is by no means an inferior member of the Godhead, yet part of His role is that of helping believers. Barbara goes on to say:

By addressing the Holy Spirit as a helper, Jesus forever elevated the position of one who assists. Trace the Holy Spirit’s actions through the New Testament, and you’ll find the Spirit repeatedly encouraging, comforting, coming alongside, and helping. The work of the Holy Spirit, the Helper, is beautiful!…

So Christian wives must never resent or despise the term helper or consider it demeaning. To help is divine!

Good reminders!

7 thoughts on “Helpers

  1. Great post! I so much enjoy being my husband’s helper. It hasn’t always been like this and I was resentful at times, but God changed my heart. I am so grateful for my place with my husband and for a loving God that showed me that I’m right where He wants me to be.

  2. I know that many women consider my hopelessly old-fashioned, but I rejoice in my servant role. I enjoy the support and comfort I bring to Amoeba. Because I serve with so much joy and contentment, he nurtures me and my serving, because he values it.

    Amoeba does not take my helping for granted and makes certain I know I am appreciated. If he did not, I might very well feel differently. As in all things relationship related, it takes two working together to make it work.

  3. You know… God and I talked a LOT about this together… so I know you’re right! But honestly… being Dennis “helper” is the leeeeeeeeeast of my issues! I’m pretty sure I have the “helper” role down pat! And yet… I am NOT a good wife! A good mother? Yea… pretty much. A good wife? *shakes head*…. KEEP POSTIN’ Barb!

  4. I do not consider myself and only myself to be “the helper,” we are both helpers, submitting to one another. We are good at different things, and we complement each other and help each other be our best. We have a wonderful, wonderful relationship.

    • True, V, and I said in the third paragraph the man helps his wife as well. But when God created woman He designated her as a helper, so I take His Word for it and trust that I am to be my husband’s helper in a particular special way.

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