Elisabeth Elliot wrote a book by that title which I read and learned much from years ago, though I don’t remember much specific about it now. But this excerpt comes from a chapter titled “Ever Been Bitter?” in Keep a Quiet Heart:
Is it a sin to ask God why?
It is always best to go first for our answers to Jesus Himself. He cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” It was a human cry, a cry of desperation, springing from His heart’s agony at the prospect of being put into the hands of wicked men and actually becoming sin for you and me. We can never suffer anything like that, yet we do at times feel forsaken and cry, Why, Lord?
The psalmist asked why. Job, a blameless man, suffering horrible torments on an ash heap, asked why. It does not seem to me to be sinful to ask the question. What is sinful is resentment against God and His dealings with us. When we begin to doubt His love and imagine that He is cheating us of something we have a right to, we are guilty as Adam and Eve were guilty. They took the snake at his word rather than God. The same snake comes to us repeatedly with the same suggestions: Does God love you? Does He really want the best for you? Is His word trustworthy? Isn’t He cheating you? Forget His promises. You’d be better off if you do it your way.
I have often asked why. Many things have happened which I didn’t plan on and which human rationality could not explain. In the darkness of my perplexity and sorrow I have heard Him say quietly, Trust Me. He knew that my question was not the challenge of unbelief or resentment….
I don’t understand Him, but then I’m not asked to understand, only to trust. Bitterness dissolves when I remember the kind of love with which He has loved me–He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. He gave Himself for me. Whatever He is doing now, therefore, is not cause for bitterness. It has to be designed for good, because He loved me and gave Himself for me.
Stray Thoughts 
This week, my daughter called me from work. She said she was having a very bad day. “Mother, would you pray for me? she asked.”
Later, I asked her if things got better. I didn’t know what was going on. I told her I didn’t pray for the circumstances to change because sometimes God has a lesson for us. I prayed He would give her the strength to deal with what ever it was as well as a peace in the midst of it.
Like you, there have been times when I’ve wondered why. I raised a child from 2 weeks until she was almost 4 years old. She was given back to a mother who had sold her for $100. I didn’t understand but I trusted God. I needed His help to deal with the pain.
Oh, and I praise God that my children will ask me to pray for them.
Good post!
Very nice post Barbara! What I learned when studying Psalms really surprised me! And that is that it is not EVEN sinful to pray revenge on your enemy – as long as you are not TAKING revenge. If you ask God to take revenge for you – and leave it to HIM to decide there is no sin! Basically, we learned that you can say ANYTHING you want to God – as long as you are talking TO Him, He has big BIG shoulders and He would rather have you talking to Him than to anyone else! And trusting Him enough EVEN to take your anger and frustration to Him — He knows. He knOWs it all anyway — so why not just take it TO Him. Lay it at His feet! And while you’re talking to Him, just go ahead and ASK forgiveness anyway – just IN CASE you offend Him!!! 🙂
I often ask God, why — in a “help me understand” type way. There has been so much tragedy in my life that I believe it would have been impossible not to ask why, but I think the answer is my strength and my witness. My faith is strong because it has been sorely tested.
I come by this answer because when others say my witness has helped them, they always talk about my strength and my faith.
Another very thoughtful post, Barbara….thank you.
When Daniel was 2 1/2, I was still working fulltime because Ed had lost a very good job because the plant closed. He took another job making little more than minimum wage. Other better job opportunities just weren’t working out. I came home from work one afternoon and found another rejection letter in the mail for Ed. I remember just laying down on Daniel’s little bed and crying out to God and saying, “God, I’m not mad but I just don’t understand why….Ed has such a good employment history…we’ve been so faithful to you….you know how much I want to be at home with our son…..” Oh, I cried till I could cry no more but when I was done, I had given it all up to Him, knowing that He knew what was best for us!
I got up, straightened myself up and went to get little Daniel and bring him home.
Welllll….when we got back home, almost immediately the phone rang and it was a company calling to offer Ed a job…..a reallllyyy good job and get this….it was like 5:15 in the evening. Who calls about a job at that time of day. The office staff has usually gone home.
I truly believe it was a God thing. When I surrendered it ALL to Him, he answered! 🙂
During the next few months, Ed worked into the new job and I was able to quit mine and stay home with our little boy!!! 🙂