Aging Is a Series of Relinquishments

Posted on July 12, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Sometime in our thirties, we realize we can’t do everything we did in our teens and twenties. My sons that age have joked about throwing their back out when they sneezed or turned quickly.

In our forties, suddenly our body chemistry changes. I never had problems with dairy products until I was forty. When I asked my doctor why I suddenly did, he just answered “hormones.” I also became allergic to penicillin and sulfa around that time, though I had taken them for years before.

It seems the older we get, the more we lose physically. Our energy diminishes. Our health may go downhill. Our looks melt into wrinkles and greyness. Our vision and hearing may become problematic. Eventually, we might have to give up car keys. Our decreasing mobility may require walkers or canes.

In some ways, we might feel we’ve lost our identity. Women facing the empty nest and men facing retirement may struggle with who they are and what to do with themselves. We may not be able to participate in the ministries or activities we always used to.

We might feel the sting of lost influence as younger people think we’re out of touch and seek their peers’ advice and fellowship instead.

And, if we live long enough, we might lose our homes and end up in a facility. I remember when my mother-in-law moved into assisted living, I was sad that her life was now reduced to one room.

We may lose our privacy and dignity if we can no longer take care of our bathing, dressing, and toileting. And we may lose our memories if we develop dementia.

This all might sound really depressing except for a few factors.

I heard someone on the radio years ago say that one reason our bodies start falling apart as we age is to make us willing to let loose of them. We have such a strong survival instinct, and we often want to stay for our families. But gradually we admit that heaven looks much better than life here.

God is gracious to make us aware of our mortality in increments. As we face each relinquishment, we’re geared a little more toward eternity.

I like to think of it something like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. It doesn’t need its caterpillar appearance any more. It doesn’t need the chrysalis. It would look absurd if it tried to hold on to its old “house” while flying around with its beautiful new wings. Whatever we relinquish here, we won’t need in heaven. As C. S. Lewis wrote in Letters to an American Lady, “There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

And those who know God have his promises in our old age:

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee (2 Corinthians 5:1-5).
“Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save” (Isaiah 46:4).
“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hand” (Psalm 31:14-15a)
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).
“They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him (Psalm 92:14-15).

When we took care of my husband’s mother, she slept most of her last two years. I wondered how this verse played out in her life–how was she still bearing fruit in that condition? Part of it was her testimony all her life until that time. Part of it was her lack of complaining and her willingness to undergo whatever she had to. And part of it was the peace that hospice workers and caregivers sensed when they came to see her.

I’ve often been inspired by the poem from William Newton Clarke:

Gone, they tell me, is youth.
Gone is the strength of my life:
Nothing remains but decline,
Nothing but age and decay.

Not so, I’m God’s little child,
Only beginning to live;
Coming the years of my prime,
Coming the strength of my life;
Coming the vision of God,
Coming my bloom and my power.

To be sure, I still don’t look forward to the process of death or the decline that leads to it. The Bible calls death the last enemy (1 Corinthians 15:26), so it’s right to think of it as such.

And I don’t mean to give the impression that aging is all negative. There is a settledness that comes with aging. We don’t know everything, of course, but some of the issues we wrestled with in younger years are no longer a problem. Our limitations make it clearer what we can and can’t do, so it’s easier to make choices and to say no when we need to. We’ve developed some degree of wisdom by walking with the Lord for so many decades. We don’t need to go at the driven pace we used to.

We’ve experienced a few of these relinquishments. We hope to escape some of them and we hope that others are two or three decades away. We’ve talked about various scenarios that might play out in our final years–if he should go first, if I should, if one or the other of us needs more care than the other can give. We’ve shared our preferences, but, truly, we may not have any control when the time comes.

But whatever happens when, God promises His grace through it. We don’t have grace for it now because we don’t need it yet. Until then, each reminder that I have an expiration date spurs me to make the most of the time I have left. I pray along with the psalmist, “So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come” (Psalm 71:18).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

The Danger of Blessings

Posted on July 5, 2026 by Barbara Harper

When we assess what gives us the most trouble in life, we usually point to trials or problems. It can be hard to trust the Lord or have a good attitude in the midst of them. We feel life would be so much easier, and we’d be much more useful to God and others, without these issues that cost us so much time and effort and emotion.

Yet, it’s often those trials that strengthen our faith and give us a platform to show God’s grace and faithfulness to others.

We don’t suspect our blessings, the good things in our lives, of causing us any harm. But God gives a warning to Israel that is just as applicable to us today.

In Deuteronomy, Moses was preparing the people for the new land and life they were about to enter. He reiterated God’s commands and warnings. He reminded them of how God cared for them in the wilderness for forty years. He gave a brief preview in Deuteronomy 8 of the blessings to come. But those blessings came with a couple of unexpected warnings.

“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for ^rit is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day’ ( Deuteronomy 8:11-18).

Don’t forget God. Moses warned the people that when they experienced the long-awaited blessings of the promised land, they’d be tempted to forget God. And that’s true for us, too, isn’t it? When life is easy, we often grow complacent and then independent. We forget everything we have is from God. We forget the lessons we learned through the trials. We need God just as much as we ever did, but we don’t feel that need as much in the good times.

Don’t be proud. Moses warns that after blessings, then our hearts can be “lifted up.” Centuries later, King Uzziah demonstrated this very thing. After listing his accomplishments, the Bible says, “He was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God” (2 Chronicles 26:15-16).

Back to Deuteronomy 8, Moses goes on to say, “Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth” (verse 17). Chapter 9:4 repeats, “Do not say in your heart, after the Lord your God has thrust them out before you, ‘It is because of my righteousness that the Lord has brought me in to possess this land.” The point is made further in 9:6: “Know, therefore, that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land to possess because of your righteousness, for you are a stubborn people.”

It’s an odd thing that we can become proud when God is the one who gave us whatever we have. But I have experienced that, and I imagine you have, too.

How can we combat these temptations?

Remember whose we are. Back in Deuteronomy 7:6, Moses reminds the people, “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.” When we remember we are not our own, but we are bought with a price, the precious blood of Jesus, we are motivated to yield to His will and not our own.

Do God’s will. “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today” (Deuteronomy 8:11). His commandments are not grievous, John says, but are for our good.

Remember how God has led you. Deuteronomy 7 and 8 recount how God led His people. Chapter 7, verse 2 says, “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you.” When we look back at God’s leading and provision in our lives, trust and praise to Him bubbles up within us.

Remember everything comes from Him. “You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth” (Deuteronomy 8:18). Jeremiah 9:23-24 tells us “Thus says the Lord: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.’”1 Corinthians 4:7 reminds us, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”

Remember His past mercies. Moses reminds the people, “Remember and do not forget how you provoked the Lord your God to wrath in the wilderness” (9:7). When we think we “deserve” blessing, we need a quick reality check. If we got what we deserved, we’d be in big trouble. But God deals with us in mercy and grace.

Be thankful. The downward trajectory of mankind detailed in Romans 1 says, among other things, “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (verse 21). We need to thank God not only because He deserves it, but we need the reminder to acknowledge His gifts with thanksgiving.

Don’t trust in your blessings. Paul instructed Pastor Timothy, “As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy” (1 Timothy 6:17). We’re prone to find our security in our “stuff,” our tangible blessings. But those can be taken away. Our only security is in God.

Use blessings to help others. Paul further instructs those with much, “They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:18-19). God blesses us that we may in turn bless others, not hoard our blessings for ourselves.

It’s not that anything is wrong with the blessings God gives us. Rather, our hearts are “prone to wander,” as the old hymn says–prone to look to ourselves instead of God, prone to trust in the gift rather than the Giver, prone to forget who gives us our blessings in the first place.

May God give us grace to always look to Him, love Him, lean on Him, and use the resources He gives us for His honor and glory.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When Your Biggest Problem Becomes Your Biggest Asset

Posted on June 28, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Temple Grandin was diagnosed with brain damage at the age of two in 1949. But her mother found an article on autism symptoms and felt that diagnosis fit Temple better (Temple was formally diagnosed as autistic as an adult). At that time, doctors advised that children like Temple be institutionalized. Her father wanted to follow the doctor’s advice, but her mother did not. Her parents divorced a few years later.

Temple’s mother took her to special needs researchers and neurologists, hired speech therapists and nannies to work with her, tried to make her school environment accommodating, and eventually enrolled her in a specialized school. She taught Temple social rules to help her remember how to interact with others. She emphasized that Temple was “different, not less.”

When Temple was a teenager, she worked at an aunt’s farm one summer. She noticed that the cattle mooed in different ways. When she mentioned that to others, they dismissed its importance. But Temple kept observing. She also noticed that when left to themselves, the cattle would herd themselves in circular patterns away from their handlers. She saw that they got upset by shadows, clothing dangling from a fence, and other distractions. When they got upset, they’d try to get away, causing damage and sometimes death to themselves and other cattle in their panic.

Years later, Temple designed a circular ramp system for cattle to go through the dipping process to protect them from insects. Many didn’t believe her or take her seriously at first. But when they took her suggestions, they found the system was not only more humane and calming for animals, but it saved the ranchers from loss due to animal injury. She went on to revolutionize the cattle industry with other suggestions and inventions.

In the movie Temple Grandin, Temple and her mother attend an autism conference by a leading “expert.” The parents in the audience shout questions to him which he can’t seem to answer. Temple stands to address some of the questions. Someone asks her how old her child is. She says she doesn’t have an autistic child, but she is autistic herself. When she mentions her degrees and her career, she’s flooded with questions until the moderator asks her to come forward to address the group. The parents are filled with hope while hearing someone who understands their children and has successfully navigated her life with autism. She went on to speak and write books about being autistic.

While autism is a different way of thinking and not a problem in itself, from what I understand, it can lead to misunderstandings and even bullying. Though Temple faced a lot of hardships growing up, her different way of perceiving things eventually became her greatest gift. She saw and understood things others didn’t. Her experiences became a beacon of hope to others.

In a similar vein, Joni Eareckson Tada broke her neck in a diving accident as a teenager. She has spent more than fifty years as a quadriplegic, encouraging and ministering to others, advocating for the disabled, supplying wheelchairs to people around the world, writing books, hosting a radio program, and speaking at events. Her words carry weight because of her experiences. We know she doesn’t talk about suffering only from a theological standpoint, but an experiential one.

Pastor John Vaughn’s wife and two-year-old daughter were severely burned in a fire in 1978. Neither were expected to survive, but they did. A few years later, when Vaughn sought for a Christian school to accommodate his daughter’s special needs, he couldn’t find one. He ended up starting Hidden Treasure Christian School, which grew to educate children with a variety of special needs for more than forty years now. One of their mottoes is “God has given each child what they need to accomplish His purpose in his or her life.”

Sometimes the areas in life where we have suffered or experienced pain or problems are the very things God uses in our lives to minister to others. That makes sense. Second Corinthians 1:4 says God “comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” The areas where we have struggled are the areas where we have learned to trust Him, to depend on Him, to function within the parameters He has given us.

Most of us have not experienced trials this severe, but we’ve all experienced problems. Family issues, death, illnesses, financial situations–whatever God has allowed in our lives, we can empathize with others in those situations and help them with what we have learned. De Witt Talmage has written that our work may be “to stand a lighthouse at the mouth of the bay to light others into harbor; perhaps to show how glorious a sunset may come after a stormy day.”

A poem that I have quoted often here is from an anonymous author and first came to my attention in Rosalind Goforth’s book, Climbing: Memories of a Missionary Wife. The first stanza says:

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back;
‘Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

From our experience with the Lord along the way, we can testify to others, as one song says, “All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good.” And we can encourage them that He will be faithful and good in their lives, too, as they trust Him.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Brave Fathers of the Bible

Posted on June 21, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Since I wrote about Brave Mothers of the Bible on Mother’s Day, I thought it only fair to write about fathers of the Bible for Father’s Day. I think my audience is mostly female. I have women in mind as I write, but I don’t mind if men read, too. But even as women we can learn from and be inspired by fathers.

Noah experienced a lot of firsts. He was the first person to build a boat the size of the ark, as far as we know. His family was the first to experience a worldwide flood–the only ones, in fact. He and his family had to start civilization all over again, not in the garden of Eden like Adam and Eve, but on an earth recovering from devastation. I can’t imagine what all they faced. Noah displayed some faults later on. But Hebrews 11:7 commends him: “By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.” By faith he believed and obeyed and was saved.

Abraham was also not without fault. Actually, no earthly father is–or mother or anyone else. That’s encouraging to us, though, because if God could work in and through these people, He can work in and through us. Abraham obeyed God by leaving his home and all that was familiar, “not knowing where he was going” (Hebrews 11:8). I don’t pretend to understand everything that was involved in God’s asking Abraham to sacrifice his promised son, Isaac. But “He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back” (Hebrews 11:19). Though God does not call anyone else to give up their children in that way, there is a real sense in which we need to yield them to Him. We’re reminded over and over that they belong to Him; they’re just ours temporarily. We’re not to hold them to our dreams and plans for them, but yield them to His.

David was a man after God’s own heart. He failed miserably at times, and some of his children suffered for it. But he repented (Psalm 51). Much of the counsel David’s son, Solomon’s, shared in the book of Proverbs came from David. In the last stretch of David’s life, he did everything he could possibly do to enable Solomon to build the temple that David was not allowed to. I think I wrote David’s words to Solomon on each of my son’s yearbooks or graduation cards, or at least the first part of it: “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

Joseph, Jesus’ stepfather, is one of the unsung heroes of the Bible. When his bride-to-be was found pregnant, he knew he was not the father. So he arranged to break their engagement quietly. But God sent an angel to tell him the baby Mary carried was the Son of God and it was okay for them to marry. Later, when God instructed Joseph to take Mary and baby Jesus to Egypt to flee from Herod, and then a few years later to bring them back to Israel, Joseph obeyed unquestioningly. We’re not told what he thought or felt. His life was not turning out as he had thought it would. But he accepted the responsibility God placed on him and fulfilled it faithfully.

Jairus came to Jesus, “and seeing him, he fell at his feet and implored him earnestly, saying, ‘My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well and live'” (Mark 5:22-23). This was a desperate father, urgently seeking the best help for his child. Jesus agreed to go with Jairus. But on their way, Jesus was stopped by a woman who’d had an issue of blood for twelve years. The Bible doesn’t say what Jairus was doing while Jesus talked with the woman. But I probably would have been pacing and growing more frustrated by the moment.

And then a messenger cameto tell Jairus his daughter had died. What agony he must have been in. But Jesus told Jairus, “Do not fear, only believe” (verse 36). When they got to Jairus’ house, Jesus raised his daughter from the dead.

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions that day. When we’re desperate, when the answer is delayed, when hope is gone–we still don’t need to fear. God doesn’t always deliver–sometimes He gives grace to endure instead.

Jesus said of another person He healed, a man who was born blind, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3). Sometimes we’re caught up in our own or our family’s daily needs and forget there are larger issues at stake. God might allow something to happen in our family so that others might see Him.

What can we learn from these fathers?

God uses flawed people. We’ll make mistakes, but God can forgive and use us for His glory.
God uses ordinary people. Most of these giants of the faith came from humble means: David was a shepherd; Joseph was a carpenter.
God requires and honors faith. In some ways, it has taken more faith to trust God for my children than for many other things.
God requires obedience, but He gives grace to obey.
God is faithful when life spirals out of control.
God’s goal is not just for us to have a sweet, happy family, but to live for His honor and glory. Sometimes that happens through hardship and pain. The end of Hebrews 11’s “hall of faith” says that both those who experienced great deliverance and those who suffered were commended for their faith, even when they didn’t receive what they were promised in their lifetimes. But this lifetime is not the end. Earlier in Hebrews 11, God said His people searched for “better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city” verse 6).
We can trust God with our parenting and with our children.

These are just a few faithful fathers in the Bible. Do any of them or any biblical fathers I haven’t mentioned inspire you?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

A Mother’s Nightly Ritual

Posted on June 14, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Around this time of year, I see blog or Facebook posts from moms processing their children’s graduation from high school or college and the realization that they are about to leave the nest for good.

That time is such an emotional roller coaster–happy and excited for them, yet lamenting over the changes to come. Wondering what life is going to be like without the daily presence of one we nurtured and loved for 18+ years. Hoping we adequately taught them what they needed to know. Missing them before they even leave. Being concerned for the life changes and multiple decisions they’ll face as they step into adulthood. Praying, praying, praying.

When my children were little, I had a habit of going to their rooms and checking to see that they were breathing before I went to bed. That practice morphed a bit as they grew up. In their teen years, it looked like not being able to go to bed until I knew they were safely home.

I don’t delve into poetry often–I have trouble getting the meter just right. But several years ago, I wrote this poem based on that experience. I’ve shared it before, but it seemed timely to share it again. I hope it’s a blessing to you.

A Mother’s Nightly Ritual

Before a mother goes to bed
She checks each little downy head,
Places a hand on back or chest
Of each sleeping child at rest,
Making sure that all is well
Before succumbing to sleep’s spell.

As children grow and youth abounds,
Yet Mother still must make her rounds.
She can not rest at ease until
Her little ones are calm and still,
Safely tucked into their beds.
Then softly to her own she treads.

From childhood into youth they grow,
And she waits up until she knows
They’re settled safe and sound at home
Til the next day when they roam.
Though now they stay up long past her,
She can’t rest til they’re home, secure.

Her birds fly later from her sight.
Their beds are empty now at night.
She cannot check the rise and fall
Of sleeping breaths within her walls.
Yet she trusts they’re safely kept
By Him who never once has slept.

Though now they sleep beyond her care,
They never move beyond her prayer.
Her nightly vigil now is to
Trust them to the same One Who
Watched o’er Jacob while he roamed,
And kept him safe though far from home.

Barbara Harper
Copyright 2010

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

“He Knows, Yes, He Knows”

Posted on June 9, 2026 by Barbara Harper

I was reading None Like Him: 10 Ways God Is Different From Us (And Why That’s a Good Thing) by Jen Wilkin this morning, just starting the chapter on God’s omniscience. Jen began with a stanza from an old hymn titled, “He Knows, Yes, He Knows.” by Georgia C. Elliot. I was so taken by the few lines she shared that I looked up the whole hymn.

He Knows, Yes, He Knows

He knows and He hears
When you cry unto Him,
Though it may be your tears
Make the pathway seem dim.

He knows and He sees
When your soul’s in distress,
And if oft on your knees
With His presence He’ll bless.

He knows and He cares
When you’re troubled and tried,
Though it seems that your prayers
Fall so empty and void.

He knows, yes, He knows,
Why not trust in Him then,
And confide joys and woes
To the Savior of men?

What rest, what joy, what comfort that Jesus knows through and through, loves us anyway, sympathizes with us in our weaknesses and failures.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

No Perfect Homes Here

Posted on June 7, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Some years ago while in the hospital, I took advantage of their cable system to watch HGTV. There were several popular makeover shows on HGTV at the time, but we didn’t get that station in our cable plan. This was before almost every network had a streaming service.

Unfortunately, the day that I watched, none of the popular shows were on. The station was showing a marathon of a series about people who had won the lottery and were looking to upgrade their housing.

As I watched these families tour several houses worth hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars, one thing stood out to me. Even at that level, with amenities most of us could only dream about, none of the home buyers found a perfect house with everything they were looking for. Sometimes the couple had different opinions about what they wanted in a house. Other times, two different houses had some, but not all, of the features they wanted, and they had to decide which was closest to their ideal.

I think most of us who have ever bought, or even rented a house have found the same thing. No one house has all we want. One house might have a beautiful, roomy kitchen, but the roof is going to need replacing soon. Another might have a nice garage and workspace, but only one bathroom for a large family.

We’ve lived in five homes over our 46 years of marriage. We rented a small mobile home from a professor at our college when we first married and lived there six years. We had not thought we’d stay in that area after graduation, but it seemed the Lord was leading that way. So we bought our first home there, a fixer-upper that needed much more than we had to give.

We’ve lived in three more homes since, each necessitated by my husband’s workplace moving him to a new area. Each had plusses and minuses. But our previous home in SC was the one I had the most trouble with. We had looked at many houses that were much nicer and prettier. But this one had the room we needed at a price we could afford.

The family room had red and black checked carpeting–and our furniture was a pink and blue plaid. It was years before we could replace either the furniture or the carpet.

I had gotten used to a carport and not having to carry groceries through the rain. This house had no carport. Plus the previous house’s driveway was right next to the kitchen door. At our new house, we had to go through two rooms and up seven steps to get to the kitchen.

I don’t like peach at all, or orange except in fall decorations, but the kitchen had peach and blue flowered wallpaper. And pink and blue floral linoleum.

The living room had wallpaper on one wall that looked like a mural of a Mediterranean scene. My kids loved it, but I couldn’t stand it.

We just one and a half bathrooms here (and no master bathroom). We had to do showers and breakfast in shifts–whoever wasn’t in the shower was eating.

Our previous houses had wooded areas behind them. This one had the back yard of another house right behind us. When the trees were bare, I could see the recliner and its occupant in their family room from my kitchen window.

Our previous house had a fence, and we got our first and only puppy while there. It was nice to not worry about the kids wandering off. Our new house didn’t have a fence.

The kitchen area was cramped. There was so little storage in it, my husband put shelves in the coat closet in the living room for the bigger kitchen items. Our dining room table, which seated six, barely fit in the space for it.

Over time, one project at a time, we replaced wallpaper, painted, replaced carpet, and eventually replaced family room furniture. We never could figure out what to do about the kitchen. We talked about removing a wall or adding on to the outside. But our finances, time, and energy levels were never up for that big of a project.

I had to continually battle discontentment with that house. But, after we moved, it occurred to me that most of our sons’ growing-up years took place there. Most of their family memories were developed there. I imagine they’ll remember having friends over for pizza and video games, crowding around the table for meals or birthdays, riding some mattresses we were getting rid of down the stairs, playing in the nearby “bamboo forest,” jumping on the trampoline, helping with house projects, the bulk of their school years, the first serious girlfriend and wedding of one of them.

They’ll remember the home more than the house.

I don’t think it’s wrong to want to make our homes comfortable, pleasing, and attractive. I’ve appreciated Edith Schaeffer’s emphasis in her book, The Hidden Art of Homemaking, that God didn’t make the world just functional: He made it beautiful as well. She says, “If you have been afraid that your love of beautiful flowers and the flickering flame of the candle is somehow less spiritual than living in starkness and ugliness, remember that He who created you to be creative gave you the things with which to make beauty and the sensitivity to appreciate and respond to His creation” (p. 109).

We have to balance those desires for creativity, beauty, and functionality with the time, finances, and energy we have. And we need to remember that even some of the humblest homes here will look luxurious to others.

But we usually have to be content with a less than perfect house to some degree. Probably no house will ever have every little feature we might like. One reason for that might be that if we had a perfect house, we’d be too tempted to nestle down into it, too content in this world and not looking forward to the next.

C. S. Lewis has written, “Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.”

The Bible reminds us, as the old hymn says, that this world is not our final home.

“We do not have an enduring city here; instead, we seek the one to come” (Hebrews 13:14).
“But our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20).
“In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2).
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).

Like all of God’s tangible gifts in this world, we appreciate them, but we hold them loosely. It’s not wrong to ask for a better or bigger house, but if God says no, we seek His grace to be content where He has us. We can effectively serve Him and minister to others in whatever kind of home He allows us to have. And we can let that longing for a perfect home remind us we’ll never find it here and fuel our desire for the heavenly one to come.

Prayer for the Home

Peace, unto this house, I pray,
Keep terror and despair away;
Shield it from evil and let sin
Never find lodging room within.
May never in these walls be heard
The hateful or accusing word.

Grant that its warm and mellow light
May be to all a beacon bright,
A flaming symbol that shall stir
The beating pulse of him or her
Who finds this door and seems to say,
“Here end the trials of the day.”

Hold us together, gentle Lord,
Who sit about this humble board;
May we be spared the cruel fate
Of those whom hatreds separate;
Here let love bind us fast, that we
May know the joys of unity.

Lord, this humble house we’d keep
Sweet with play and calm with sleep.
Help us so that we may give
Beauty to the lives we live.
Let Thy love and let Thy grace
Shine upon our dwelling place.

Edgar Guest

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Helps to Remember What You Read from the Bible

Posted on May 31, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Helps tom remember what you read in the Bible

If you’re like me, you can often draw a blank if you try to remember what you read in your quiet time with the Lord a few hours before.

On one hand, we’ll never remember everything we read (that’s one reason to keep rereading it). But we can still trust that God’s Word nourished us. In a similar vein, I might not remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but it still did its job.

Still, the Bible tells us to meditate, to think on, to turn over in our minds what God has said to us. We can’t do that if we don’t remember it.

Here are some tips that I’ve found helpful.

Read in context. I’m thankful that my first pastors emphasized reading a book of the Bible at a time rather than reading randomly. I usually average a chapter a day on weekdays, depending on the chapter length and subject matter. It’s easy to read a few chapters of a Bible narrative, but I like to slow down in the densely-packed epistles. If we take a moment at the beginning of our reading time to look at what we read the day before, then we get back into the flow.

Pray as you read. We often think of prayer and Bible reading as two separate components of devotions, and do one after the other. But we can pray as we read. If we read about a particular sin we’re struggling with, we can pray about it right then. If we’re reading praise to the Lord, we can read those passages to Him. If we come across something we want to incorporate into our children’s lives, we can ask God for wisdom and for receptive hearts.

Read actively. If we’re following a Bible-reading plan, it’s easy to fall into a passive “get the assignment done” mentality. But if we ask ourselves questions as we read, or look for particular things, we’re more engaged, and the information stays with us.

Some years ago, I heard someone say that Jesus never claimed to be God. I knew He didn’t declare Himself as openly and plainly as some wished He would. But He did proclaim His deity. So the next time I read the gospels, I put a “C” by every place where Jesus made a claim about Himself and a “P” by every verse which indicated a fulfillment of OT prophecy. Actively looking for that emphasis revitalized my reading.

We can also look for the writer’s main point or ask ourselves questions like, “What does this passage teach me about God? About myself? About how to live for Him?” Another good question is “Why is this here?” The Bible says that God’s thoughts are more than can be numbered. One pastor used to say the Bible is divinely brief: out of all the things God could have shared with us, the Bible contains what He wants us to know. 2 Timothy 3:16a tells us, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable.” So God has every part of Scripture there for a reason.

Mark your reading. Some people don’t like to write in their Bibles. That’s understandable. But many of us get more out of them when we underline passages that stand out to us, underline repeated words, draw arrows from the word “therefore” back to what it refers to, etc. One solution might be to have a study Bible you use for devotions and a different, unmarked Bible you use at church.

Make notes. I used to journal what I studied in my devotional time, but I found I was spending more time writing than reading. So I abandoned the practice for a while. Yet writing does help us process what we read and make it more permanent.

Journaling for the Soul: A Handbook of Journaling Methods by Deborah Haddix shares a plethora of journaling styles that would appeal to a variety of personalities. I ended up with something similar to a bullet journal. I look for one main takeaway from my Daily Light on the Daily Path reading as well as whatever Bible passage I’ve read that day and jot them down in a simple, cheap spiral notebook. Sometimes I’ll write a little more if I feel I need to, but I try to keep it brief.

Review. When I finish my Bible reading for the day, I quickly review what I’ve read. But that review doesn’t always stay with me through the day. In Overcoming Your Devotional Obstacles: 25 Keys to Having Memorable Devotions, John O’Malley recommends writing down a few key points from your Bible reading on a 3×5 note card and then putting it where you’ll see it throughout the day. You could do the same with a Post-It note or the notes app on your phone. Some might want to set a reminder on their phones to go off a few times a day with the main points they read. That would bug me, personally. I keep my phone notifications to a minimum because I get irritated at my phone dinging through the day.

What works for me is this: I keep my Daily Light, ESV Study Bible, and whatever commentary or Bible study book I’m using, along with my little spiral notebook, stacked on my desk. When I go to my desk throughout the day and see those books, I’ll take a moment to remind myself what the main points were that I wrote down. If I can’t remember, I’ll look in my notebook.

Share with others. When I was in a Christian college, the dorm students had assigned tables for dinner which switched every few weeks so we could get to know more people. Each table had a host and hostess who were supposed to try to keep conversations going. Some were better at this than others. My very first host and hostess were the best. The host would bring up that day’s chapel message and invite everyone else’s comments. I probably remembered the chapel messages more during those weeks than at any other time during my college years.

When I talk about what I’ve read, whether with my family or with a Bible study group, I remember more of it. I don’t know if a formal family “What did everyone learn in their devotions today” conversation would work. That might become too mechanical. But it’s natural for what we’re thinking about to come out in our talk.

Memorize. Of course, most of us can’t memorize a Bible verse every day. But we might mark a key verse in our reading, or one that especially spoke to our hearts, and try to commit it to memory over the next few days.

Have you tried any of these helps to remember what you read from the Bible? Or have you tried something else? What works best for you?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Sharing From Our Experiences with the Lord

Posted on May 24, 2026 by Barbara Harper

When I was in college, the dorm rooms were formed into smaller prayer groups, usually three dorm rooms to a group, that met almost every night for devotions. The people in the rooms took turns sharing a devotional each night, then we spent a few minutes in prayer before getting ready for bed.

One of my roommates got extremely nervous when her time to share was coming up. She stressed over not knowing what to say. “How am I supposed to know what other people need to hear?’

We tried to encourage her to just share something God had been teaching her. It didn’t have to be a sermon. It didn’t have to be the last word on a given subject. If God wanted her to share something for Him, He’d give her what He wanted her to say.

When our ladies’ Bible study group was going through True Woman 201: Interior Design–Ten Elements of Biblical Womanhood, one section stood out to me. The authors emphasized that mentoring “simply means drawing on your life experience, in the context of everyday life, to provide encouragement and exhortation to those who are younger” (p. 219).

Of course, the whole book talks about being a godly woman by spending time with Him, in His Word, and reflecting Him. So we’re not just drawing on our personal life experience, but our experience within the bigger picture of our walk with God–what we’ve learned along the way.

It’s the same with any kind of ministry to each other. We draw out of our own experiences with God. We can’t teach or model or share what we don’t know. That is another reason for growing in grace and knowledge of Him–not just for our own benefit, but to have to minister to others.

This doesn’t mean that only women who have miscarried a child can minister to a woman in that situation, or only a single woman in the business world can mentor a younger single businesswoman. There are some truths of faith and practice that can be applied across the board.

Sharing with others from our lives also doesn’t mean that we have to have everything together and know all the answers. That would eliminate everyone. Sometimes sharing from our failures encourages others that there is hope and forgiveness and grace

Ministering to others also isn’t restricted to official, formal, or even church-related venues. It’s amazing how often in my life, a seemingly chance, off-the-cuff statement from someone else was just what I needed to hear that day.

I’ve often been encouraged by this excerpt from a hymn by Fanny Crosby:

Now just a word for Jesus:
Your dearest Friend so true,
Come cheer our hearts and tell us
What He has done for you.

Now just a word for Jesus-
‘Twill help us on our way;
One little word for Jesus,
O speak or sing or pray.

—Fanny Crosby

God can use each of us as we interact with each other in everyday life to encourage and uplift. As we ask Him to fill us with His Holy Spirit, seek His guidance, and pay attention to the needs of others, He can work through us to point them to Him.

(Updated to add: The day after posting this, it occurred to me that it could be taken in a wrong way. I’m not exalting experience above the Word of God. I’m talking about sharing from our own walk with God and our time in His Word–how we’ve found Him faithful, how He helped us through various trials, how He kept His promises to us.)

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Weariness in Serving God

Posted on May 17, 2026 by Barbara Harper

Do you ever get weary serving the Lord?

It’s possible, because Paul encourages us in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not grow weary of doing good.” He shares one reason not to grow weary: “In due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

We can get weary of laboring without seeing results. But Paul says we will reap. We may not see the results we’d like in our lifetime. But God promises His Word won’t return to Him empty; it will accomplish what He purposes (Isaiah 55:11).

We can also get weary just because we’re tired. Spiritual work does take a lot out of us. Plus our physical lives can make us weary: if we’re not getting enough sleep because of a new baby in the house, or we’re working two jobs to make ends meet, or we have a lot of obligations on our plate, naturally we’re going to feel worn out.

And we can too often feel weary because we slip into doing things in our own strength instead of relying on God’s.

Jesus’ welcome invitation is, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

But there is a type of weariness that’s dangerous. In the book of Malachi, God rebuked the priests for giving “polluted” offerings.” God had given them specific instructions for the type of sacrifices they were to offer: the animal being offered needed to be in the best condition: not lame or sick or attacked by another animal and on its way to death anyway. There is a lot of symbolism to the sacrificial system that we can’t go into completely here, but some of the sacrifices representing Christ had to be perfect. Yet the priests weren’t offering the kind of animals God had told them.

Even worse, they said, “What a weariness this is.” Some translations say “nuisance.” or “tiresome.” Then they “snorted” at it–other translations say “turned up your nose” or “sneered.”

When God’s service seems tiresome, wearying, even a nuisance, our hearts are in trouble.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). We don’t keep His commandments to earn His favor or to go through the outward forms of religion. We keep them, and serve Him, out of love.

John repeats this truth in 1 John 5:3, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.” But he adds this statement: “And his commandments are not burdensome.” (“grievous” in the KJV).

God’s commands may not be easy to keep. We may not always understand them. But because we know Him, we know His character, and we love Him, we want to do what pleases Him.

Malachi’s prophecy holds out hope, though. In chapter 2, verse 1, God tells the priests, “If you will not listen, if you will not take it to heart to give honor to my name,” then He lists the punishments that will come upon them.

But notice that little word, “if.” That indicates it was possible to listen and take His word to heart. Throughout the Bible, God’s warnings are to encourage people to reconciliation, to a right heart.

And if our heart’s desire is to honor and love Him, then He promises:

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)