Mocha With Linda has begun a new weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The flashback question this week is:

What were birthdays like when you were growing up? Were they a big deal or understated? Did you have parties? Get to choose what or where the family ate for dinner? Are there any particular birthday traditions that you remember? Is there any birthday that stands out (good OR bad!), either due to the events surrounding it or due to the particular present(s) you received?

Birthdays were fairly understated when I was growing up. No one I knew then would have dreamed of having a huge bash costing hundreds of dollars for any party, child or adult. I think we got to choose what to have for dinner and then had the usual cake and ice cream. Funny, I don’t remember what I chose, but my dad always chose corned beef and cabbage for his. I don’t think we ever went to a restaurant for anyone’s birthday then, though in later years after all the kids were grown, meeting at a restaurant for a birthday became the norm.

There are only glimpses of a few birthdays that stand out in my memory:

I was thinking I had never had a surprise party, but I do remember one time we were meeting up with a bunch of people, either friends or relatives (not that relatives aren’t also friends…) or a combination at either the beach or a lake (sorry to be so inexact — you have to remember some of these memories are over 40 years old!) As preparations were being made, food packed, etc., nothing was said about my birthday, no cake was in sight, and I kept asking (probably bugging) my mom about it. I knew she hadn’t forgotten my birthday, but it didn’t look like we were doing anything for it. My mom was not usually harsh, but she must have told me in some way to stop already. So I was feeling pretty down until some time after we got there, when someone did pull out a cake after all. I have always winced at TV shows where it looks like everyone has forgotten someone’s birthday while they are actually planning a big surprise party — there must be some way of planning s surprise party without making the honoree feel really bad first.

On another birthday, I had a party with my cousins. In their family they had three girls, all one year apart, all with birthdays in August, as was mine (and when my firstborn was due in August, I empathized with my aunt being heavily pregnant in the hot humid summer three years in a row!) The middle cousin was my age, and one year we had a birthday party for all four of us. The only specific thing I remember was that my aunt set up a few little games like you’d see at a school carnival, and I remember one having to do with dropping clothespins in a jar from a certain height. Though I may have had other full-blown parties involving games and guests, this is the only one I remember, and I think it was my favorite of my childhood — not just because it was a full-blown party, though I loved it, but because all of us cousins got to celebrate together.

Updated to add: Slumber parties! I had forgotten until someone else mentioned sleepovers for her birthday, but I had several slumber parties as a teen, and I know one or two must have been for my birthday. I don’t remember if this happened on a birthday or not, but at one of them, I think we were telling ghost stories in my bedroom (I don’t know why that was a favorite pasttime  right at the age we were most scared of them…) when my dad’s face showed up in my bedroom window, which was open. He was shining a flashlight up from the bottom of his face, so he looked eerie, and laughed an evil laugh, sending all of us running out the door, nearly trampling my brother, who was listening at the door for our reaction.

Overall I enjoyed birthdays (and still do!), my own and others’, as an opportunity to do a little something special or different as a way to express to the birthday honoree that we love them and are glad they’re here.