Long before the Enneagram or the Meyers-Briggs personality classifications, I learned of the four spiritual temperaments: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholic. Everything I read indicated I was melancholic.
Melancholics aren’t sad, as the name sounds. But they tend to be quiet, introspective, and perfectionistic. That last trait can cause them a great deal of trouble. One, because they’ll never be perfect, this side of heaven. Two, because no one and nothing else will ever be, either.
One preacher crystallized the melancholic personality for me by saying they want everything to be right.
Well, you might say, what’s wrong with that? Don’t we all want things to be right?
One problem is with the concept of right: right according to whom?
Some things just seem common sense to me, and I wonder that others don’t see them that way. For instance, my local grocery store places the snack-sized fruit cups on a completely different row than the applesauce fruit cups. Why not put all the fruit cups and canned fruit on the same aisle? They also put the oatmeal on a different aisle than the boxed breakfast cereal. I’m ashamed to confess I have wasted a lot of frustration over things like that.
But sometimes someone else’s ideas of right make just as much sense to them as mine do to me, like ways to load the dishwasher, fold towels, or refill the toilet paper roll.
So those of us with a highly developed sense of “right” need to learn humility and forbearance. Others may have reasons for what they do that we don’t know. Who are we to insist everything be done our way? Stewing over little things that aren’t according to our preferences just raises our blood pressure and makes us grumpy.
But sometimes right really does matter significantly. You wouldn’t want your brain surgeon or accountant to be unconcerned whether they’re doing their procedures right.
My husband and I have battled frustration with products and services when someone’s carelessness resulted in great problems. No, they weren’t of brain surgery level importance, but they took hours on the phone to rectify.
We need perspective to know when something not right should be let go or insisted upon.
And we need grace and wisdom to convey the need for the level of rightness, not because it’s our own opinion, but because of the consequences if things aren’t done a certain way.
We also want to set things right when hard things happen to our loved ones. But we can’t. We can only try to comfort and offer aid. God has reasons for allowing hard things, and we have to let His purposes work out. In this case, He is doing what’s best, even if it’s hard to understand and experience.”Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25, KJV). But “though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:32-33).
Then there are major national and world-level scenarios that are far beyond our scope of influence. I rarely watch the news any more because it leaves me angry, frustrated, and/or sad. I listen to news headlines on the radio. And of course, you can’t scroll social media without picking up on what’s going on in the world.
We’re not alone in these concerns. The psalmists and prophets in the Bible often lamented and spoke out against the injustices and oppression in their time. They called on God to set things right.
The world at large won’t be fully “right” until Jesus comes again to rule and reign. Just one place where this is promised is Jeremiah 23:5: “Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.”
Does that mean we keep our heads down and just endure til He returns?
No. We can pray for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven, as He taught in “the Lord’s prayer.”
We can speak up at appropriate times and ways. We can let our “light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
We can tell others of His righteousness and how they can be right with Him and each other.
Like the old story about the child who was trying to save starfish on the beach by throwing them back in the water. A man told him, “You can’t possibly save them all.” “No, said the boy, “but I can save this one.”
We can’t set everything right. Only God can do that. But we can be instruments in His hand.
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
Stray Thoughts 
Lots of wisdom here ma’am. I too am learning that my sense of “right” can be very different from another’s, and also different from God’s. I can work on that latter one, with His help. As for that first one? I’ve come to believe it is a test from God. We’ll find that we’ve moving closer to achieving that latter (alignment with His Word) in how we tolerate the other. 🙂
Romans 14 was a big eye-opener to me that Christians can have opposite opinions about some things, yet still do what they’re doing as unto God. Of course, some doctrines are non-negotiable (Jesus’ deity and humanity, the inspiration of the Bible, salvation by grace through faith, etc.), but there’s a lot of room for grace with everything else.
So often, we try to “fix” things instead of pausing and praying to ask God for His guidance. Sometimes listening is the best way to help. Have a blessed day! 🙂
Yes, both those things are very true. It’s taken me years to learn to wait on Him first and not jump in.
Barbara, this is great! I feel you here and agree 💯% And things won’t be right until Jesus comes back indeed. I don’t watch the news anymore either for many of the same reasons you do. This is such a relatable message.
Thanks so much for sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month.
Thanks so much, Paula. The older I get, the more I long for His return.
Oh I think I am like that. I like things to be right…according to me. Fortunately, I have learned to let it go and give it to God.
“Right according to me” – -I love that. It’s all too true! I’ve learned, but am still learning, to ask for His setting things right rather than jumping in with my opinion.
Fellow Melancholy sitting here reading with tears in my eyes! Oh, how I wish more things were “right” these days — from my perspective, and just from a general perspective too. I do find that my desire for various things to be “right” leads me more and more into prayer. That’s a good thing.
That’s a very good thing. I recognize more and more that God is the only one who can set things right.
Oh Barbara … what you’ve written here is all the more reason to pray for perspective, grace and wisdom in our daily lives. To know when to hold fast and when to let go sometimes requires discernment, and sometimes it just requires that we give up our idea of how the dishwasher should be loaded. Not that I would have any strong thoughts about that or anything … 🙂
🙂 I used to think I should always acquiesce, especially in church committees and ministries. But then sometimes it really felt like I needed to speak up, kindly, about why I thought a certain thing should be done a certain way. We do so need that perspective, grace and wisdom to discern when we’re just holding on to our own preferences.
Barbara, so much to think on here. The last few weeks, I have kept reminding myself (and others) that things will never be “right” until the Lord comes and makes all things new and right. As they were meant from the beginning. I have also reminded myself of the words of Vernon McGee: “This is God’s universe, and God does things his way. You may have a better way, but you don’t have a universe.” 😀 That always makes me laugh and let go.
May we be people who daily seek Him for discernment, for wisdom, and to be filled with His grace, especially as we interact with those around us.
I love that quote by McGee, And that’s so true that nothing will be totally “right” until Jesus comes. (On a side note, I am so glad you’re able to comment again!)
A great post Barbara! Yes, we can speak up especially when the Holy Spirit leads us to & pray about all things.
Blessings, Jennifer
Barbara, so many questions, so much of life and logistics makes little sense. Whenever I think I’ve seen it all, something else completely crazy floats my way.
When all is said and done, God holds the world in His hands and knows how the grand story will end. Believing this wholeheartedly has helped me try to figure out less and rest in His sovereignty.
It’s a good place to find myself.
It’s so hard to understand sometimes why God allows hard things. But you are so right!
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