When I was student teaching, another student from my college with his own car offered to drive the rest of us who were teaching at a particular school. There was something about his car that produced a strong sulfur-like smell. Many mornings–maybe every morning–I made some kind of comment about the odor. One day he wearily said, “I know it smells bad, but I can’t help it.”

Suddenly I realized how my complaining must have sounded to him. Not only was I wearing him down with my negativity, but I wasn’t showing any gratitude or consideration for his kindness in driving me to school.

It’s so easy to complain about the least little thing: the weather, other drivers, the neighbor who plays loud music, the restaurant entree that takes too long to arrive, the rude sales clerk, loss of electricity during a storm, and so much more.

Our ladies Bible study is working through Exodus this semester. In Exodus 15:22, the Israelites went three days in the wilderness only to find that the water was too bitter to drink. In the next chapter, they complain because they don’t have food.

Their concern was legitimate. Being without food and water, especially in the wilderness, is a serious problem.

But they had just seen God work miraculously in the ten plagues He had sent to Egypt and then in delivering them from Pharaoh’s army by way of walking through the Red Sea on dry ground. It seems like they’d stop to think that a God who could do that could provide for them. They didn’t even ask Him. They just started to complain–other translations say they grumbled or murmured.

But before we’re too hard on the children of Israel, we need to look at ourselves. How often do I complain at the first minor inconvenience? I don’t stop to ask God if He has something for me to learn from the problem. I might get convicted about that later, but all too often my first response is to grouse.

The night we discussed this passage in our Bible study, our teacher asked us what some of the results of this complaining were as she wrote them on the whiteboard. I wished I had taken notes or taken a photo of the board. But here’s what I remember or what comes to mind as I look at the passage now.

What complaining does:

Minimizes God’s work and maximizes the problem. When we complain, we’re focused on the problem instead of looking to the One who can fix the problem.

Distorts reality. It may have looked like Israel was in the desert with no water. But in reality, they were in the hands of the God who redeemed them and promised to lead and take care of them.

Reveals ingratitude. When the people complained in the wilderness, they lamented that they weren’t still enslaved in Egypt. In their grumbling, they didn’t appreciate all God did to free them.

Infects others. Complaining spreads like wildfire, both in spreading from person to person, and spreading to other areas of life.

Places false blame. The people grumbled against Moses, as if the situation was his fault. The church of one of our pastor friends turned against him for “running the church into debt.” We asked one person whether the congregation had voted on the spending proposals. She said yes, but “We figured they knew what they were doing.” How often do we take out our dissatisfaction with a company on the waiter or sales clerk, who are just trying to do their jobs and aren’t responsible for company policy?

Destroys our peace and rest. When we complain, we stir up negativity and discontent in our own hearts rather than resting in our God.

Becomes a bad habit. As we’ll see later in Exodus, the Israelites’ complaining continues throughout their journey. The more we give way to complaining the more that becomes our default response.

Wears others down. Later in Exodus, the peoples’ complaining drives Moses to complain to God (Numbers 11:10-15).

Leads to a worse offense. In Numbers 14, the Israelites come to the land God promised them. But they’re afraid to go in. The spies who scouted out the territory report that there are giants in the land. The people, once again, do not look to God’s promised help. When Joshua and Caleb try to encourage them that God will enable them to claim the land, the people want to stone them. How many decades-long feuds have started because of one disagreement or seeming offense?

Hardens hearts. In Psalm 95:7b-9, the psalmist warns, “Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
when your fathers put me to the test and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.” Marah was the name given to the place where the water was bitter back in Exodus 15.

The writer of Hebrews refers to this passage twice in chapter 3 and exhorts readers to “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (verses 12-13).

Complaining is serious business. In Exodus 16:8, Moses tells the people, “The Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him—what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the Lord.” The fact that they are actually grumbling against the Lord is repeated in Numbers 11 and 14.

God didn’t deal with them harshly at first. They’d just come from 400 years of slavery. They probably hadn’t had much opportunity to encourage or teach each other spiritually. But after a while, when they had enough knowledge and experience with God to trust that He would take care of them, He became angry at their complaining, unbelief, and hardness.

Paul refers to the Israelites in the wilderness in 1 Corinthians 10:9-11: “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.”

And lest we think we’re immune, Paul goes on to say, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (verse 12).

In pondering this topic, I think it’s important to establish what complaining is not.

I don’t think it’s wrong to simply make an observation. When my kids were little, if I said, “Wow, it sure is hot today,” one of them would say, “Complaining is a sin.” I’m not sure where he heard that. I probably tried to teach them not to complain, but not with that sentence in that way.

Likewise, discussing a problem in itself isn’t complaining. I might tell the waiter about a problem with my food so the restaurant knows something is wrong. My husband and I might discuss a problem with a neighbor to ascertain whether there is anything we can do about it.

Lament is also not complaining. The psalms are full of people crying out to the Lord about their problems.

Any of these things can be done in a gripy, complaining way, but aren’t necessarily complaining in themselves. Murmuring and grumbling seem to have some element of annoyance and dissatisfaction. Complaining might involve demeaning or quietly seething or ranting at the waiter or against the neighbor.

What does God want us to do instead of complain? Trust Him. Soften our hearts. Magnify Him, not the problem. Ask Him to intervene and take care of the problem. Remind ourselves of the way He has provided for us in the past. Take the problem to the right people to address it. Wait patiently. Forgive and forbear with each other (Colossians 3:13). Learn what He has for us in allowing the situation.

May God give us grace to do so.

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