I am going to be very discreet with details for privacy’s sake, though the family I am thinking of doesn’t have computer access and doesn’t read my blog. Some folks I know are in counseling for a serious family situation. When a very glaring, obviously wrong way of handling something was pointed out to one of them, she couldn’t see the correction needed over hurt that someone would say she did something wrong.

Another friend who was acting in a very petulant manner over an issue went into an enraged fit when someone commented on her anger.

Why are we so surprised when someone points out to us that we’re doing something wrong? We’re sinners — we naturally do wrong. We’d be the first to admit that we don’t have it all together yet. We probably know deep down that we have blind spots to some of our character flaws and that we tend to excuse or justify negative traits in ourselves that we see as faults in others (i.e., I’m determined but another who acts the same way is stubborn.) But let someone try to correct us, and they are being hateful, petty, or, one of the favorite adjectives in today’s Christianity, judgmental.

True, some people are judgmental. Some are busybodies. Some correct too much or too easily. Some people who mean well can correct in an unkind or hurtful way.

I have to admit, when someone points out something in my life that needs correction or attention, my first response is not, “Thank you! I am so glad the Lord laid that on your heart to share with me.”

But it probably should be.

The only reason I can think of that I don’t respond that way is pride.

Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. Proverbs 9:8-9.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. Proverbs 12:15.

A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise. Proverbs 15:12.

The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise. He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding. Proverbs 15:31-32.

As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear. Proverbs 25:12.

I used to tell one of my sons who had trouble receiving correction in his early teens that if he didn’t acknowledge that a certain action or attitude was wrong, he could not correct it or change it. I often shared with him Proverbs 28:13: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”

If we can get past the sting of hearing criticism and prayerfully examine it to see if it is just, then we can confess it to the Lord (and to whomever else we might need to confess it) and correct it and grow in wisdom and character — and stop causing a problem in other people’s lives by continuing on in the fault.

Isn’t that much better than hanging on to our hurt and indignation?