Assorted reading and stray thoughts for Mother’s Day

One old post of mine getting a lot of hits these days is one about Mother’s Day reading, but since I did not know many of you then, I’ll repost a little of it here. I know some of you don’t like to look through lists of links, but there is good stuff in these. I was thinking of posting this on Saturday, but then thought some of you might like to see some of these before then.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote a leaflet she titled “A Call to Spiritual Motherhood” which she read in on of her radio broadcasts. You can read the transcript here. It is an excellent article encouraging all of us in any stage of life to spiritually “mother” younger women. Many of us have had godly women besides out own mothers who were shining examples to us, who taught us along the way and encouraged us. I think they are worthy of honor on a day like Mother’s Day, too. :)

Girltalk has some excellent articles for those who have lost children to miscarriage or a later death, struggle with infertility or have wayward children, for whom this time of year can be quite painful.

Annie’s Mother’s Day pages have several neat links. I especially liked What the Bible Says About Mothers.

I mentioned the high expectations some women might have about Mother’s Day, setting themselves up for disappointment, but I’ve often run into just the opposite: a mom who doesn’t like all the fuss on Mother’s Day, or, as Al Mohler wrote one year, that Mother’s Day is a bad idea because of the commercialism, the sentimentality, or the lack of honoring mothers other days of the year and trying to make up for it on that one day. To moms who maybe don’t like to be put on the spot or feel uncomfortable about all the attention that day, I would say just accept it as an expression of love.  You may not want or need gifts and may just want the family to have time together, and that’s fine, but don’t downplay what your family tries to do to honor you. Have you ever tried to give a gift to someone who keeps saying things like “You shouldn’t have!” so much that it takes all the joy out of giving to them? Don’t be like that (of course, balance is the key here. Maybe next year well before Mother’s Day you might want to express to your family that you really don’t want anything and ask about a family day instead, if you feel that way. But don’t downplay their efforts after they’ve already done something.)

As for the sentiment that Mother’s Day is a bad idea for the reasons mentioned: I agree with some of Dr. Mohler’s points: it’s wrong to passively neglect or actively dishonor one’s mother and then try to assuage guilt with a card and flowers on Mother’s Day. And I do agree some sentiments are over the top: sometimes when buying cards I have wondered if they were made for real people at all. Sentimentality, though, is often in the eye of the beholder. What might seem “gushy” and over the top to some might seem just right to another. And, yes, most holidays have become too commercial, but that doesn’t mean we need to do away with them completely. There are multitudes of options between going all out and not celebrating at all.

I consider Mother’s and Father’s Day and many holidays  in the same way I think of Thanksgiving: we’re supposed to be thankful all the time, but there is something special about that one day and taking special care and thought into pondering just how much we have to be thankful for and the One to Whom we owe our gratitude. So with a day dedicated to parents: it’s one of the ten commandments to honor our parents, and Mother’s and Father’s Day is just one way to do so. It’s not that we save up our honor all year for this day: we honor them all the time, but this special day we focus on them, their love to us, and all they have done for us, and let them know we love and appreciate them.

What if you don’t feel your mother is worthy of honor? The command to honor our fathers and mothers is just that — a command. During my teens I did struggle for a brief while with respecting my parents. One day after a sermon on “Children, obey your parents,” it occurred to me that the two passages that teach that (Ephesians 6:1-3 and Colossians 3:20) do not qualify the command (obey if they are saved, if they are perfect, if they do everything just right, if they deserve it). I realized that all of the commands about relationships in the rest of those passages were not dependent on the other person doing his or her part. We’re supposed to do our part whether the other one does or not. I was supposed to obey my parents and respect their position as my parents. I had to apologize for my attitude, and the Lord enabled me to indeed honor them and respect them, and even to appreciate them and to be thankful for the life they gave me, the care they took of me, and so many more things. It showed in my attitude (I had never been allowed to “backtalk,” but there are other ways a disrespectful attitude can seep out), and the Lord healed the breach between my parents and me. I only wish she were still here for me to honor, but I do honor her memory. A few years ago I wrote Things I love about my mom.

Here are some things I’ve posted in the past regarding Mother’s Day. 🙂

Mother’s Day funnies.
Mother’s Dictionary (funny).
Mother’s Kisses (poem).
Mother’s Day Poems.

5 thoughts on “Assorted reading and stray thoughts for Mother’s Day

  1. What if you don’t have a mother to honor? What if you aren’t a mother?

    As a child I was often FORCED by well meaning adults to make Mother’s Day gifts. Since I did not have a mother, this was painful for me. Many times I could adapt the gift for my grandmother, but I will never forget the woman who MADE ME embroider “mom” on an apron.

    As an adult I attended a church where roses were pinned on the mothers every year. After the third year I quit attending mother’s day Sundays because I grew tired of having to apologize for my SIN of not having children — though God did not grant me that gift.

    How about just simple human courtesy 27/7?

  2. To take your last comment first, sure, we should all be courteous all the time. But as I said in the next-to-last paragraph, it’s kind of like Thanksgiving. We should do it all the time, but sometimes a special day set aside for it helps remind us.

    As I mentioned as well, I no longer have a mother living, either. I do honor her memory on that day, I honor my mother-in-law, I honor a special older lady friend who is like a spiritual mom to me. If I didn’t have any mother-types in my life, which will likely happen eventually, I wouldn’t worry about it, except maybe in encouraging other people to honor their mothers while they have them, which was the main gist of this post…

    What other people forced you to do in the name of Mother’s Day was unconscionable. My words were addressed more to individuals rather than teachers, etc., but of course I would not advocate making a child do such a thing. That may be a good argument for leaving the celebrating of Mother’s and Father’s Day to families rather than classes.

    Mother’s Day was started to honor mothers, not to make people feel bad about not being mothers or even on being better mothers — I’ve been somewhat dismayed when Mother’s Day in church focuses on being a better mother, especially in a scolding, finger-wagging tone (although I certainly need that admonition) rather than honoring mothers. I like it best when the pastor preaches about some mother in the Bible, because then it is applicable to all — since all the Word of God is “profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (II Timothy 3:16-17), there is something for everyone in that kind of sermon, no matter what their family situation. I am amazed that anyone would make you feel it was a sin not to have children: that is unconscionable as well.

  3. We don’t do a lot of “honoring” around here! Sometimes the kids have come up with something special – one year they wrote me a poem – each kid added one stanza! I LOVED that! And a few times we’ve gone out to dinner… but MOST of the time it’s just another excuse for us to all get together and share time! And that is my FAVORITE! In RECENT years it has become an excuse for Dennis to buy “me” crabs and we all sit around all day pickin’ and eatin’ crabs! And that’s what we’re doing again this year — on Saturday! I can’t wait! But I have always been happy no matter what we do!

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