I was reading of a grandmother who planned specific activities when her grandchildren came to visit. She’d plot a course and assemble supplies. Some of their endeavors were simple, some elaborate. Her grandchildren looked forward to whatever fun event would be happening at Grandma’s house that day.
The last time my only grandson, Timothy, stayed with us without his parents, we sat on the couch while he showed me his toy and told me about it. We talked about a number of other things. He broke into spontaneous, imaginative play while we watched and commented. And I wondered, “Should I have planned something special to do together?”
Sometimes we might do a planned activity, but usually we’re pretty laid back. I’m sure the activity-planning grandparent probably has low-key times with her grandchildren as well.
There are no right or wrong styles of grandparenting . . . well, setting aside negative examples of abuse or neglect. But how we interact will depend a lot of personalities, circumstances, energy levels, etc.
However, most Christian grandparents want, above all else, to be a godly example to their grandchildren and to influence them for the Lord.
Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to do that. We’re not with our grandchildren all the time. Teaching them is primarily their parent’s responsibility. How can we have the best influence?
I’ve only been a grandparent to one child less than a decade, so I am not an expert. But observations of other grandparents plus my own reading and thoughts have resulted in these ideas.
Engage with them. Sometimes we bring our grandchildren into what we do: gardening, baking, fishing, riding bikes, and so on. Sometimes we enter into what they like to do, whether playing games, coloring, building with Legos, or going to a playground or children’s museum. One of my favorite memories with Timothy involved boxes of Little People toys saved from our kids’ childhoods, especially the Grandma and Baby figures. Once a stray dinosaur had gotten tucked away with them. We had the dinosaur chasing Little People all over the place.
However we go about it, we need to spend time with them, get to know them, and let them get to know us. We would do this anyway just because we love them. But we also aren’t going to be able to speak into their lives without that underlying relationship. If our only interaction with them is didactic, they’re probably going to avoid us.
Pray for them regularly. Pray for wisdom in being an influence to them.
Point out God’s hand in creation and circumstances. One friend is a master at this, regularly pointing out God’s creativity in the sky, insects, even onions.
Share how God has worked in and through His people. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”
Share personal stories. This is something I wish I had done more with our children. School, Sunday School, and Awanas focused on doctrine, so at home we dealt more with character development. But doctrine and character are integrated, and both are personal, not just academic.
These things are harder to do when we don’t live near our grandchildren. I have fond memories of writing letters to and receiving letters from my grandmother. We have multitudes of ways to keep in touch these days.
If parenting instruction is more “caught” than “taught,” I think grandparenting influence is even more so. Sharing how God has worked in our own lives, leading us, and providing for us, helps them learn that God is personally interested in us, a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). In Deuteronomy 6, God wants “you and your son and your son’s son” to fear Him and keep His commandments. He wants families to “talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (verses 2-7).
Most of us aspire to be like Timothy’s grandmother, Lois. “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well” (1 Timothy 4:5).
We want to share “things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (Psalm 78:3-4).
Some of us don’t have grandchildren (or even children). Or we might have only one or two. But we can minister to other children and young people in our sphere of influence by showing an interest, getting to know them, and speaking a word for God as He leads.
How about you? What ways have you found to influence your grandchildren or any of the next generation for the Lord?
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
Stray Thoughts 
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved,but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem,so the Lord surround His people from this time forth and forever…… Psalm 125:1-5. Amen.
Amen.
I love this message. We can be grandparents to all children in the world. We don’t always have to plan activities. Sometimes the best times are waiting for the grandchildren to let us know what they want to do. Whether crafts, reading, sitting and listening to music, taking a walk, praying, or other activities, we can find joy in sharing time with grandchildren. Have a blessed day! 🙂
It’s nice to do a variety of things with them, planned or spontaneous. It’s fun to see what scenarios he comes up with on his own.
I love this post! I hope to have grandkids someday. With my oldest living half a country away, I’ve already wondered what grandparenting might look like if I hardly ever saw the grandchild. I like your story about Timothy; I love Little People! I hope I can live close to at least one grandchild so that I can spend time with him/her and really get to know them in a casual, everyday type of way. I like the thought too that things we wish we’d done a bit differently with our own kids, we can “tweak” a bit with grandkids. I feel sure you’re a wonderful Christian influence on Timothy.
I feel so blessed to live near Timothy. I was close with my grandmother, but we always lived away from our own parents, so my kids don’t have many memories with them. I regret that. But they did have older people at church who invested in their lives.
I love spending time with all of our grandchildren we have 13 combined! And a great grandchild on the way.
And they all know that their Nanny & Poppy love Jesus. 😊
Visiting from Esme’s table today.
Blessings, Jennifer
Wonderful message Ms. Barbara. Sounds to me like you are creating a wonderful legacy of faith for your family ma’am. God’s blessings. Please know that it’s not only your grandchildren who take note of your words and actions.
even though my grandkids are 13 – 20 now, I’m resonating with all you’re saying here, Barbara. the challenges grow greater in this season, there’s more to trust God with, there are fewer answers, but more opportunities to listen well, to model what a faith-filled life looks like, to be present in the good and bad times.
i have no choice but to trust Jesus more than ever before. and have found out that’s a very freeing place to be.
A grandparent’s role is special and IMPORTANT. I want to always be a safe place for my grandchildren to land. I love doing activities with them, however being a safe person for them is my ultimate goal along with building long-standing relationships.
Grandchildren are such precious blessings from the Lord. Mine are all pretty much grown but now I’m getting to enjoy and prayerfully be a blessing to a brood of great-grandchildren. The two who are closest and that we spend the most time with love both just hanging out and doing planned things. But mostly they just like our attention. Their favorite game is hide and seek (which is getting harder LOL). But I try always to share the love of Jesus with them.
I think the points you make are very helpful. I agree, there are different ways to go about it but I think the most important thing is genuine love and attention. I only had one grandparent until age 4 (the others had died before I was born) so I don’t really remember her. I did have a Great Gran who lived until I was 14, and, even though she was physically very frail, I always loved spending time with her. Normally we’d either sing together or she would tell me stories, usually the same ones over and over, but she was someone I felt safe with, and I knew her love was unconditional, and that’s what made the biggest difference.
Great food for thought, Barbara! My grandchildren are 9 months and 3 years old, so I feel like I’m at the very beginning of getting to know them. I remember my grandmother teaching us how to bake pies and to sew miniature quilts for our dolls; while my grandfather taught us how to garden and to fish. Great memories!
This is a constant source of prayer for me since mine live far away. Thank you for sharing ideas.
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I don’t have any grandchildren yet. This is great advice with wise words so beautifully spoken.
Thanks bunches for sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month sweet friend.