We probably all know what it’s like not to be chosen in some way.

Some of us were always among the last chosen for any kind of physical game. Others were chosen last for the spelling bee.

We might not have been chosen for cheerleader, class president, or homecoming queen. Perhaps the person we liked in college chose someone else.

As adults we might not get the expected promotion or desired assignment.

As writers, we watch others get agents or contracts or win contests while we don’t seem to be making any progress.

I thought of this in the contrasting reactions of Esau and Jonathan in the Bible. In the normal scheme of things, each would have succeeded his father as leader. But God chose someone else instead.

Esau was the oldest son in his family, a position of privilege and honor in Bible times. Yet before he and his twin brother, Jacob, were even born, God said “the older shall serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23). Neither of them were ideal sons, but this pronouncement was made before they had done anything.

What was Esau’s response when Jacob received the birthright and blessing that would normally have gone to Esau? He hated Jacob and planned to kill him after their father died. (Genesis 27:41). Granted, Jacob obtained those things by deception and manipulation rather than waiting for God’s timing. But Esau had shown by his previous actions where his values were.

Jonathan was the oldest son of Israel’s first king, Saul. God rejected Saul due to his disobedience (1 Samuel 15). Jonathan could have ranted and raved that it wasn’t his fault that his father disobeyed God. Jonathan had good character and a good reputation. Why not make him king instead of his father?

But Jonathan didn’t grouse and complain and whine. He protected David from the machinations of Saul.

Years later, David had his own “not chosen” moment.

David wanted to build a temple where people could worship God. Nathan, the prophet of God, thought that was a good idea.

But that night, God told Nathan that David was not to build the temple. One of his sons, Solomon, would. God had other things, great things in store for David.

Did David sulk? No, he responded in humility, thankfulness, and love. Then he did everything in his power to help and prepare Solomon.

What are some things we can learn from not being the chosen one?

Sometimes not being chosen has nothing to do with merit. Jonathan was a fine, godly young man. But God had chosen David to be the next king.

But sometimes not being chosen does result from one’s actions. Saul lost his kingship because of disobedience. He still could have repented and gotten right with God, even if he was never reinstated as king. But he didn’t. Others in Scripture were removed from their positions for disobedience as well.

God sets up one and puts down another (Psalm 75:6-7). Sometimes we’ve prayed hard and long for election results that did not go the way we thought they would. All we know is that God has the big picture in mind.

God gives gifts and abilities. Though I probably could have worked hard and improved in playing some athletic game, if I had wanted to, I would never have been a star athlete. My gifts were elsewhere.

One of my favorite passages tells how God gifted different people to do various kinds of work on the tabernacle, even down to those who worked with metal, wood, weaving, and embroidery. The New Testament lists different spiritual gifts God distributes to Christians. One of those passages is 1 Corinthians 12, where Paul goes on to compare the church to a body, where it would be strange if we were all eyes or hands. We need different parts of the body to perform their function.

God has a plan for us. He may have chosen someone else for the particular opportunity we had in mind. But that doesn’t mean we’re on the bench. We need to seek His will for us and serve in the capacity He brings before us.

We can help and support the chosen one. Just as Jonathan helped David and David helped Solomon, we can aid the person chosen to do what we wanted to do.

One of our former pastors said he viewed his position as that of Elisha, who “poured water on the hands of Elijah” (2 Kings 3:11). That phrase conveys service and attending to the needs of another. This associate pastor wanted to serve and help the senior pastor as much as he could.

We can be content in God’s will and calling. In the book On Asking God Why, Elisabeth Elliot tells of a time when missionary Amy Carmichael was to attend a missions conference with a dear friend, nicknamed Twin. But when she saw the list of assigned seats for dinner, Twin was to be seated next to another friend, Mina. Amy wrote to her family:

Well, I was very glad that dear Mina should have Twin, and I don’t think I grudged her to her one little bit, and yet at the bottom of my heart there was just a touch of disappointment, for I had almost fancied I had somebody of my very own again, and there was a little ache somewhere. I could not rejoice in it. . .I longed, yes longed, to be glad, to be filled with such a wealth of unselfish love that I should be far gladder to see those two together than I should have been to have had Twin to myself. And while I was asking for it, it came. For the very first time I felt a rush, a real joy in it, His joy, a thing one cannot pump up or imitate or force in any way. . .Half-unconsciously, perhaps, I had been saying, ‘Thou and Twin are enough for me’–one so soon clings to the gift instead of only to the Giver.

It’s all about God’s glory and purposes. When Israel was going to fight against the Midianites who were oppressing them, God told Gideon his army was too big (Judges 7). They would be proud and attribute their win to their own abilities. God told Gideon to tell everyone who was afraid to go home: 22,000 did, leaving 10,000 still ready to fight. God said that was still too many. He sent them all to some nearby water to get a drink. Some of the men bent down and lapped the water like a dog. Others knelt down and cupped the water into their hands to drink. I’ve heard many sermons where the preacher read between the lines and proposed all kinds of reasons why God chose one group over the other. But that’s just speculation. The Bible doesn’t give us God’s reasoning. Personally, I think God just chose whichever group was the smallest. The 300 who lapped went on and won a miraculous victory that showcased God’s power, not their own.

Amy Carmichael’s original ministry in India involved evangelizing women. God used her remarkably in that capacity. Then she learned that little girls were being sold into temple prostitution.  Elisabeth Elliot writes that Amy “prayed that God would enable her to find a way to rescue some of them, even though not one had ever been known to escape. Several years later, God began to answer that prayer…and in a few years Amy Carmichael was Amma (“Mother”) to a rapidly growing Indian family that, by the late 1940s, numbered about 900.” Amy struggled a bit with the fact that this ministry to girls (which later included boys) was quite different from what she had been doing. She was even criticized in some corners. But she felt that teaching, training, protecting, and taking care of children was only a different ministry, not  lesser one.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote this about jobs, but it’s true for positions and ministries and opportunities as well:

This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.

In a sense, we’re all chosen. We may not have gotten what we originally wanted. But for those who trust in Christ’s saving work on the cross to atone for their sins, “we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). Whether we serve out in front or in obscurity, in a desired or unwanted position, with people who love us or people who try us, we can serve God by His grace, for His honor and glory.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)