Life Doesn’t Always Turn Out Like We Thought It Would

Life doesn't always turn out like we thought it would.

Several years ago, two individuals from my college who were known for their close walk with the Lord found each other and began to date. They married and attended a local church, the same one we came to later, while the husband finished his graduate degree. He became an elder. The wife was active in the ladies ministry and teaching children. They had a couple of children.

After several years, they left to go to the mission field. There never seemed a family more perfect for missionary work.

After a few years, our pastor went to visit them on the field. He had nothing but positive things to say. He reported that the wife, in particular, seemed in her element.

A few years later, though, we received devastating news. The husband had been caught in infidelity. The family came home, and the elders met with the husband. He refused to repent, saying he loved his sin too much.

The wife was crushed. Not only had her husband turned into someone she didn’t know any more, but she lost the ministry she loved and was so suited for. Plus their coworkers back on the mission field had to pick up the pieces and minister to the people who were shattered by the fall of their leader.

I don’t know if the wife asked herself these questions, but in her place, I would have wondered if I made a mistake somewhere along the way. Had I married the wrong man? Had I missed signs that he had fallen away from the Lord? Had I failed him in some way that caused him to turn to someone else?

I do know that the pastor encouraged her that the situation was not her fault. Not that she was sinless, of course. No one is. But her husband’s sins were his own and he bore the responsibility of them. She was in the center of God’s will even with such things going on in her life.

It’s a shock that you can do everything “right,” so to speak, and end up with a life seemingly in shambles.

I imagine Joseph must have felt the same way, going from the favored son to being sold as a slave by his own brothers and then thrown into an Egyptian prison.

Or Job, described by the Lord as an upright man, yet he lost everything he owned as well as ten children all in one day.

Or John the Baptist. He was the forerunner of the Messiah, preparing the way for Jesus, pointing people to Him. Yet he ended up in prison, and ultimately was beheaded.

The Apostle Paul enjoyed a little over twenty years of public ministry. He took three long missionary trips, shared the gospel with who knows how many people, instructed and encouraged believers, and wrote several epistles which were incorporated into the canon of Scripture.

To be sure, life wasn’t all rosy. Paul experienced beatings, stonings, shipwrecks, sleeplessness, hunger, and more (2 Corinthians 23-28). But overall, his life could be considered a success in terms of being able to minister to large numbers of people.

But then Paul got arrested. He had not done anything wrong, but others supposed he had, and the resulting riot ended with Paul being taken into custody.

Paul was imprisoned for two years, released for a couple, then imprisoned again for a couple of years until he was beheaded.

Paul went from a leading apostle and well-known traveling preacher to a prisoner for many of his last years.

To the world, it might look like Paul’s life ended in failure.

But God encouraged Paul all through the book of Acts that he was on the right path.

And Paul’s ministry didn’t end just because he was in prison.

In the course of explaining why he was imprisoned, Paul was able to share his testimony before Felix, the governor of Judea, Festus, the governor who replaced Felix, and King Agrippa—all people he would not have been able to talk to under normal circumstances.

Paul wrote Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon during his first imprisonment and 2 Timothy during his second. Philippians is one of the most joyful books in the Bible, and Philippians and Colossians both have an emphasis on Thanksgiving—though they were written from prison.

Paul was chained to a Roman guard while imprisoned, so the guards heard all he had to say to his visitors. Paul tells the Philippians, “All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar’s household” (Philippians 4:22). So evidently the gospel had filtered even into Caesar’s staff from Paul’s witness.

Friends were able to come talk with Paul and be taught or encouraged by him. Acts ends by telling us Paul “welcomed all who came to him, proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance” (Acts 28:30-31).

“Without hindrance.”

In 2 Timothy 2:9, Paul says, “I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound!” Though Paul was bound, the word of God was not.

God can redeem and work in and through a life in shambles.

It was Paul who wrote of God’s strength in our weakness: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

And what God can do in our lives through suffering: “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

And the glory that waits us after suffering: “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Others in the Bible found the same grace to endure.

Joseph was released from prison and became second to Pharaoh, eventually saving his own family, the future nation of Israel, from starvation.

Job’s fortune, family, and health were all restored to him, but most important of all, he encountered God in a way he never had before.

John was not spared in this life, but there was a place prepared for him in heaven.

The wife I mentioned at the beginning found God’s grace to sustain while she did the best she could in difficult circumstances.

We tend to equate spiritual success and God’s blessings with smooth sailing and positive circumstances. Saints through the ages have not found this to be the case. In fact, some whose lives seem to shine brightest for the Lord have experienced great trials—maybe because they have to seek the Lord and His strength to navigate their circumstances.

Meanwhile, God’s Word encourages us to “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12) because “after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10).

1 Peter 5:10

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

28 thoughts on “Life Doesn’t Always Turn Out Like We Thought It Would

  1. We don’t understand all that happens in this life. The only assurance we have is where we will be after this temporal life. And we know that God is with us through our lives here on earth. Good post.

    • Thank you. There are things I don’t like to go through, even knowing God is with me–but it helps to know He allows it all in love for our good.

  2. Good post. I feel bad for the wife of that pastor but I feel MORE bad for him if he doesn’t repent. How sad. No one of us are perfect and I want to be so close to Christ that if bad things do happen that I don’t expect (and some already have!!) then I will have the strength of my Savior to lean on. I guess one day we will understand all of the mysteries and reasons for our trials.

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  4. thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight here. this has encouraged and blessed me immensely.

  5. This was so meaningful today (as your posts often are, Barbara)! That’s such a sad story you share at the beginning. I’ve had similar things either happen personally or to others too. For years I prayed for a Christian husband, and when I finally married at 31 was so happy to have waited — but the marriage has turned out to be the hugest struggle of my life. It’s definitely not what I anticipated. In this morning’s Bible readings, I’m reading about Israel’s and Judah’s various kinds. I noted how often a good king followed a bad, and vice versa. I thought of the kids who followed God being replaced by their child, who often didn’t. I wondered if that was a sorrow to the parents (it must have been!). We just can’t always know what God is up to (was it John Piper who said something to the effect that God is doing 10,000 things in our lives now, and we’re aware of maybe 3 of them?). I’ll be coming back to this post to read it again. Thank you!

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  7. This is very timely for me. I have a medical condition that while not fatal is definitely life-altering. I thought I was doing better but blood test results show that I’ve actually gotten worse. Feeling very devastated this a.m. but your words have encouraged me. My life is not over, God is allowing this in my life (for many reasons that I may not know until heaven); my responsibility is to keep my eyes on the Lord and keep my attitude right. Thanks for writing this.

    • Thanks so much for sharing, Carrie. I’m sorry for the medical issues, especially that they are getting worse. You’ve got the right perspective–trusting that God has a reason and keeping your eyes on Him. May you find His grace sufficient and experience a deep, close fellowship with him through this time.

  8. I have often said life has not gone the way I would have thought or chosen. But … it was always for our good and turned out for our good. And the funny thing is, I would choose it again knowing all that God brought from it. He’s amazing like that 🙂

  9. All so true, Barbara, and the amazing thing is how often the Lord shows in his Word that He uses broken, messy people over and over again.

  10. I’ve had this conversation with parents who did everything “right” with their kids only to see them go horrifically off the rails in adulthood. Human beings are certainly not vending machines in which we insert our right behavior and they respond with correspondingly right behavior. As you have so beautifully pointed out, we are always and forever living in dependence upon God’s mercy.

    • I love that vending machine analogy. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I relied on “formulas” for raising children–if I do X, Y, and Z, I’ll have perfect Christian children. But it doesn’t work that way. Realizing my own powerlessness makes me rely on Him. I just wish I had realized that sooner. I knew it on one level, just not as much as I needed to.

  11. I’ve subscribe for a couple months and love everything you write (you
    sound like a kindred spirit) but this was superb! Thanks so much. I love
    it and have shared with others!

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  16. Life is never as we thought it will be. We were fighting my kids cancer for over a year, right now it seems to be successful. But after a year spent with many kids with cancer, from small babies to already grown up young people I don’t believe in a fair fate anymore. But definitely, more and more I believe that we are the ones who destroyed our beautiful world that was given to us by God.

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