Mother’s Day is fraught with mixed emotions.
It’s good to honor mothers. The Bible does. One of the ten commandments tells us to honor our parents. Motherhood has taken a beating by society over the last several years. Moms carry a heavy load, often unseen and unappreciated. They need all the encouragement and support they can get.
But Mother’s Day is profoundly sad for others.
Some grieve the death of their children, or their estranged children or wayward children.
Some have mothers who are still here physically but far away mentally or emotionally, mothers who rarely, if ever, showed love, mothers who abandoned them, mothers who have died. For those who feel abandoned or unloved by parents, may you truly know “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up” (Psalm 27:10).
Some would love to be mothers, yet God has not granted that request. Mother’s Day only adds to their pain. I appreciate Wendy Alsup’s thought that “God uses both the presence and the absence of children in the lives of His daughters as a primary tool of conforming us to Christ.”
Some moms grieve that their families don’t acknowledge this day at all, and they feel more taken for granted than ever. Erin has some good advice for managing expectations.
Some downplay the day. They would rather have their family appreciate them year-round, not just on a certain designated day. And, true, it doesn’t make sense to disrespect someone every other day and then buy them flowers and a card on Mother’s Day. But I always look at special days in the same vein as Thanksgiving. Yes, we’re supposed to be thankful every day, but Thanksgiving reminds us of all we have to be thankful for. Jesus’ resurrection impacts our lives every day, but it receives special focus at Easter. So Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, or someone’s birthday are just opportunities to tell someone you love that you appreciate them.
For many, all the talk of ideal mothers on Mother’s Day makes them feel their failures all the more. They feel like “perfect mother,” or even “good mother,” are titles they can never aspire to. God took our faults and foibles into account when He made us mothers. He knows we’re made of dust. We confess our sins to Him and lean on Him moment by moment for grace and help and strength to mother as He wants us to. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
My mother and all of my older mother figures are gone now. I try to honor their memories. I am thankful for so many women who were examples to me and made me a better woman, wife, and mother. I hope I can encourage others as these ladies did me.
For those whose families show their love this day, and for those who have a mother to celebrate today, I wish you joy.
For those who sorrow, I pray for the peace that passes understanding. May His merciful kindness be for your comfort, according to His word unto you (Psalm 119:76).
(Revised from the archives.)
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
Stray Thoughts 
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Thank you! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
Happy Mother’s Day, Barbara!
Hope you had a happy Mother’s Day as well! 🙂
Have a great Sunday. 🙂
I did! I hope you did as well.
I hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day! You raise many good points here. I’m glad that as a society we seem to be more understanding in our celebrations in some ways (I remember as a child, church gave prizes for oldest mom, youngest mom, etc. I can’t see most of those happening today). I still largely try to stay off social media on the day though, since for so many it seems to be a “contest” of sorts as to how glowing a tribute they can write (or collect for themself!).
I don’t see the social media posts as a contest. The ones about what families have done to celebrate the day just seem to be a thank you. And the ones with a tribute to their moms–that’s probably the only day of the year she hears those things. 🙂
I hope your days was lovely!
One thing I’m learning about all the special occasions is to be flexible. We had a son graduating from college on Mother’s Day which required some travel and some schedule adjustments as Sunday is already a full day in these parts.
It was, thank you! I hope yours was as well besides being unconventional this year. My alma mater used to hold graduation on Mother’s Day weekend, too.
What a lovely thoughtful post, Barbara. Thank you! And I do pray that your Mother’s Day was a special one.
It was, thank you. I hope yours was as well.
Lovely post – I hope you had a beautiful day!
I did, thank you! I hope you did as well.
I remember Mom’s day being especially hard for friends who experienced trouble conceiving a child. Like some single adults on Valentine’s Day, they tried to avoid the day by being distracted with something else. Any holiday or special commemorative day can have it’s challenges for some. May God’s wisdom be with us for those who find these days difficult (including ourselves)!
I too wrote on how painful and problematic Mother’s (and Father’s Day is). So many people I know dread it, for all sorts of reasons, including having to spend time with their mother’s who are in some cases down right nasty. I don’t think they owe them anything if they behave that way, but there is guilt tied into forced traditions.
I had a lovely day, and I hope you did too. #TalkaboutitTuesday
Mother’s Day seems to carry such a mix of emotions attached to it. I try to keep it all in perspective and rejoice in all the ways God has blessed me with a wonderful mother and mother figures, and with a loving relationship with my children, but not focus on the trappings of the day because I know it is hard for so many. Hope your Mother’s Day was a very good one!
Mothers Day is bittersweet for me. Both of my daughters are estranged. It’s been 8 years since I spoke to my oldest and my youngest and I text on the rare occasion. I grieved for a while but I find that as I mature in Christ it gets easier because I go straight to Him when I’m feeling down. I pray for reconciliation and I know He’s working behind the scenes for our good and His glory. I know it’s in His time and I’m getting better with the wait. Sometimes I wonder though is it still okay for me to cry sometimes? Do you know?
Visiting today from Joanne’s xo
I think it’s only natural that you would still cry over these estrangements. It’s still something to grieve. I’m thankful we can trust Him to be working in ways we can’t see. But it still hurts, and we can go to Him for comfort in that. He knows what it is like for His children to be estranged from Him.
Thank you for this tender post, Barbara. I think you do a wonderful job of encouraging others (including me) like the women who were examples to you.
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I love this tenderhearted encouragement Barbara.
Thank you so much for sharing with Sweet Tea & Friends this month.