On all those memes asking if we might have a white Christmas, I mentioned it wasn’t likely here in SC. We had about five minutes of snow yesterday, but then rain for most of the day, turning to slush with ice pellets by evening. Even before the ice, the rain was kind of a miserable cold rain and the wind alternated between turning my umbrella inside out or pushing it on top of my head. By the way, I learned that when your umbrella does get inverted, it doesn’t help much to try to pull on it to get it back down, but aiming it in the direction the wind is coming from helps the wind push it back down.
I persevered because I really wanted to get done, partly because I wasn’t sure what the weather would be like today, partly because I try to avoid malls and W-Mart on pre-Christmas Saturdays, and partly because we have Special Plans (not involving Christmas) for next week — which I’ll wait to tell you about until afterward! 😀 I’ll explain why then.
Janet at Across the Page posted an excerpt from C. S. Lewis’s thoughts on Christmas. Here is just one part:
You have only to stay over Christmas with a family who seriously try to ‘keep’ it (in its third, or commercial, aspect) in order to see that the thing is a nightmare. Long before December 25th everyone is worn out — physically worn out by weeks of daily struggle in overcrowded shops, mentally worn out by the effort to remember all the right recipients and to think out suitable gifts for them. They are in no trim for merry-making; much less (if they should want to) to take part in a religious act. They look far more as if there had been a long illness in the house.
I have certainly had Christmas seasons like that, where it felt more burdensome than joyful. I liked all the individual elements, but all together with the extra events on the calendar and all the regular everyday responsibilities just created too much pressure.
We’ve scaled back in the gift-giving department. We used to give to all the nieces and nephews until they got to the age where you never knew what they’d like and never heard back from them. It was fairly easy when they were little and were satisfied with any toy. Then they married and started having their own kids, and there just got to be too many people to keep up with. We used to give to my siblings (Jim is the youngest in his family and they stopped giving to each other long before) and their husbands, but eventually it became the same issue — too many people and no real knowledge of what anyone would like. Living 1,000 miles away, we’re not aware of the everyday things they could use or would like, and just trading gift cards seemed useless to me. Then sending packages costs extra time and money. We tried drawing names one year and it just didn’t go over well, though that works for many families. So eventually we just phased out everyone but our kids, parents, and a few close friends.
So that helps a lot. I love giving, but as Lewis pointed out, the gift-giving of olden days was much less than it is now, and it is not the main point.
Getting started early helps, too. I keep saying I am going to do my Christmas cards Thanksgiving weekend, but haven’t yet. I need to do better in this department.
Online shopping has helped a lot, as well. It’s much easier to search a store site for a size or color that I need rather than looking through every.pair.of.pants in a store to find the elusive sizes my menfolk need. But other things really need to be seen and handled in person before making a decision. Now that my guys are older and into geeky technology stuff, my husband buys most of that kind of thing because he know much more about what it is or where to find it than I do, and that helps a lot.
Also, some years we haven’t gone to every party and program available, either. I enjoyed all of them once we got there, but the preponderance of extra things to attend can create pressure in itself.
I’ve learned, too, that though I’ve sometimes felt too rushed or pressured for regular devotions, I must continue to take that time, no matter what else does or doesn’t get done. I can’t expect to have God’s peace or the right attitudes or perspective without it. I’ve mentioned before that I am reading the devotional book Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, which I hope to say more about next week, but I can see its use becoming a yearly tradition.
A great post along these lines I just discovered yesterday through a reference on Facebook: 3 Ways to Put the “Merry” in “Merry Christmas“ at Women Living Well. I heartily recommend it.
From an old Generous Wife newsletter I kept this quote:
In planning for your holidays, realize that your husband would love to have a peaceful, happy wife. Work to scale back and simplify your holiday plans (grab a pad and pencil, write down everything that you plan to do, circle and do the really important stuff, cut back on the rest or cross it off your list altogether). Being an unfrazzled wife is one of the kindest gifts you can give your husband for the holidays. You really don’t have to do it all.
Though it is from a wife’s perspective, it is true for everyone — it’s good to be an unfrazzled friend, church member, co-worker, sibling, etc.
So whatever we do or don’t do, however we scale down or not, each individual and family needs to find what works best for them to keep the right balance, perspective and joy of the season.
I also wanted to share with you this sweet video I saw on Chrysalis yesterday. It’s made by a family with seven children who are missionaries in Haiti, though I couldn’t tell from their site what kind of missionaries they are. Their children portray the Christmas story — with real donkey and lambs! — but the highlight is the little seven-year-old girl singing with a beautiful, clear voice. Her “Glory to God” has been echoing in my mind ever since I heard it. It’s a nicely done video and the kids are all precious.
Naturally, I loved the C.S. Lewis quote. This year we’ve scaled down the giving too. I think that’s due in some part to the fact that we’re spending Christmas just our little family this year and all of our family is off scattered doing other things. In some ways, I really rather like this as we get to focus on our own family. That’s fun. We did swap gifts with my brother and his family but we’re all still small enough, and know each other well enough to make that work. For now. That said, I realized we’d need to come up with a plan in the future. When I was growing up, my “cousins” (i.e., the aunts) would buy a Christmas ornament for each of the kids. That way we would be able to collect ornaments as we were growing up to have when we were older. I do’nt think I have a SINGLE of my ornaments in my home! =D (My mom has them.) Hmm, well!
As for going to parties or events….the one thing I do not understand about the West Coast is that no one invites anyone over! There are various local church events. But we’ve been a part of two churches in town and are friends with lots of other churches and we’re the only family we know of that throws a Christmas party! So the stress is usually mine but I know it’s the only party we’re goign to have and if we don’t throw one, no one will have one! (Is that me, or is it strange?)
At any rate – our party is tonight and I’m supposed to be cleaning the kitchen and pulling out crockpots right now but instead I’m reading blogs and eating breakfast. ;D
Can’t wait to hear what your plans are for next week!
I used to get stressed because I wanted everything to be perfect. I’m much more laid back now. If it doesn’t get done, I don’t sweat it.
We only buy gifts for immediate family and sense our parents are all gone home, I give something to my sisters, often handmade. I usually try to get everyone 3 gifts to unwrap as we take turns and it is so much fun.
As I was reading about the unfrazzled wife, I was thinking that the husband could offer to help and that might make her more at peace.
Since I do my shopping all year, I do not need to go to the malls and shops now. I’ve noticed, though, how crowded it is getting on the roads near them.
Mama Bear
Thank you so much for the mention!!! What a GREAT blog you have here! Keep walking with the King!
Courtney
What a wonderful video and what a sweet voice this young lady has. I couldn’t help but laughing — and tearing up — at her “Glowy to God”. Precious.
This just might be the best video I have seen this season. Thank you so much for sharing.
That was an excellent video my friend. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing this and your thoughts. 🙂
Thank you for the link Barbara. I appreciate your thoughts on this.
Our Wednesday night Bible study has been watching ‘Advent Conspiracy’ videos and discussing them for the last few weeks, and it’s been good to think about how to make Christmas more meaningful. (There’s a brief video about Advent Conspiracy here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K14c4NGuhDI Someone left me the link last year.)
I’m thinking about doing a post on homemade gifts for the not-necessarily-crafty… Maybe later today or tomorrow.
I’ve scaled down some years and scaled UP others. The main thing I found years ago was to just do what I felt comfortable with. THAT was why many of our traditions went out the window about 10 years ago! I found that the traditions were what was getting in MY way of enjoying Christmas. And when I mentioned “well… what if we don’t do ___ this year?” Everyone else said OKAY too! So it was mostly MY traditions that were in the way — they weren’t things that were important to the others. That was a huuuuuuuge relief! Now I really DO get to enjoy the holidays!
(by that I mean ALL the days of Christmas – before and after Jesus Birthday!)
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