What if we really don’t measure up?

Theodore Roosevelt is credited with saying “Comparison is the thief of joy.” The Bible warns against envy and jealousy. “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding” (2 Corinthians 10:12).

We know that no one’s picture-perfect online depictions convey real life, at least not all the time. Everyone has trials and issues, faults and failures. Yet we’re discouraged and depressed when we don’t think we measure up to everyone else.

But what if we really do fall short?

Different personalities and gifts

In early married life, I had a good friend who seemingly could do everything and do it well. While I seemed to struggle to keep my head above water with three children, she had the same number, her house was not only clean but well-decorated, she sewed for her family and for others for pay, she was active in a number of church ministries.

While wondering what was wrong with me for a long time, I finally concluded that God gave different people different capacities. Jesus told a parable of three men who were each given different amounts of money and then had to give account according to what was given them. I could learn from this and other friends and enjoy their different gifts, but I didn’t have to be just like them. God didn’t make us with cookie cutters. I could only be faithful with the abilities He gave me.

Offsetting weaknesses

One night this particular friend and her husband invited our family over for dinner. Everything was wonderful, as expected. But I noticed that this friend could hardly sit still for more than a few minutes. She would excuse herself to go do various things and then come back. It seemed like she didn’t know how to just sit back and relax for very long. And I began to think, if that’s the price one pays for getting so much done, then maybe I don’t that after all. I’m not criticizing her. We just had different personalities.

One former pastor used to say that every strength has an offsetting weakness. One organizational whiz I knew had trouble with flexibility. Someone with a take-charge personality is great when you need someone in charge, but they come across as controlling otherwise.  A person whose primary gift is mercy might have a hard time saying “no” when she should. If we find ourselves envying someone’s gift, we need to remember they have their weaknesses, too. We all have issues for which we need God’s grace.

God’s choices

Many times in the Bible, God set His choice and blessing on particular people. He chose younger Jacob over older Esau, even though by the standards of the times, the older brother received the family blessing and a bigger share on the inheritance. Peter, James, and John had more experiences with Jesus than the other disciples, and Peter got the lion’s share of attention in the gospels. All we know about some of the disciples is their names. Does that mean they were less special that Peter? No: God just had different purposes for them.

A former pastor who preached a series about the disciples said that these lesser-known ones were faithful in obscurity. That’s where most of us find ourselves. We’re not the big names. We don’t have the big followings. When I was growing up, I often heard the saying “God must love the common folk, He made so many of them.”

Accepted in the Beloved

We all fall short of God’s perfect righteousness. But He loved us so much, He gave His only Son to die for our sins, so if we turn from them and believe on Him, we’re saved and cleansed (John 3:16). When I really got hold of the idea that I’m “accepted in the Beloved,” as the KJV puts it, all my securities and self-image issues melted away. Our position in Him has nothing to do with our looks, our abilities, our works, our talents, and how they measure up to anyone else. He made us the way He wanted us. He gives us everything we need to live for Him and grow more like Him.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Were not enough in ourselves, but we’re complete in Him. He gives us everything we need for everything He’s called us to.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work (2 Corinthians 9:8).

We each have a gift from God, a purpose, and a unique job to do. We may not have the same reach as others, but we each have a unique sphere of influence. God doesn’t call us to do what others do. He only calls us to be faithful to what He wants us to do.

Someone will always be better than us in every aspect of our lives: better-looking, better cooks, better writers, better home managers, etc. That’s no reason for dismay. We will be better than some in those aspects, too. That’s no reason for pride.

For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
 (1 Corinthians 4:7, NIV)

The main point isn’t how we compare to others. The main point is being faithful with what God gave us. We seek His purposes and plans for us, grow in grace, knowledge and abilities, and use them to reflect Him, glorify Him, and serve others.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11, ESV)

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Kingdom Bloggers, Literary Musing Monday, Hearth and Soul, Tell His Story, Purposeful Faith, Happy Now, Tea and Word, InstaEncouragement, Anchored Truth, Let’s Have Coffee, Worth Beyond Rubies, Recharge Wednesday, Wise Woman, Share a Link Wednesday, HeartEncouragement, DestinationInspiration, Grace and Truth, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends)

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23 thoughts on “What if we really don’t measure up?

  1. I love the balance that we can rest in knowing that we don’t measure up (on our own) but that we more than measure up with God!

    And this has great wisdom: “every strength has an offsetting weakness”

    Thanks for the encouragement today!

  2. You are right that we are all different. None of us measure up to God and we never will. We all fall short. It’s okay if you don’t measure up. God created you for a reason, with His purpose in mind and that is what matters in this life.

  3. Great post, Barbara. We do all fall short, and will continue too. But that’s okay because we’re covered in Christ. You make great points that our strengths are often counterweighted with weaknesses. I relate. When I feel most productive, I am least flexible. It’s hard finding the right balance. Grace; I need it!

  4. Thanks for helping me start the week on a positive note, Barbara! I love the idea of recalling the parable about the men given differing amounts of talents. It *is* hard to observe others and feel like we come up short. In elementary school, my best friend was that super-talented one. I remember once another girl in the class saying to her, “Why don’t you move away so I can win something?” While I was horrified, I realized that I honestly had had similar thoughts ;( Good reminders that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, and that no personality is “perfect.”

  5. Madeleine L’Engle put the quote, “Comparisons are odious” into the mouth of one of the mums in her fiction books, and our kids used to hear it from me AND say it to one another. We do torture ourselves, I think, trying to be more or better or less or different or…
    I’m guilty of it myself, and this is definitely a growth point for me, so thanks for taking it on as a topic for readers today!

  6. This is such a woman issue, isn’t it? Men, well the ones I know don’t get into the business of comparing themselves to others. Thank God I’m “accepted in the Beloved,” therefore, I don’t have to spend time comparing myself to others. God made each of us unique for his purpose and that is where we need to focus. Social media stirs up the spirit of comparison and that is why I stay away from certain platforms (FB) and am intentional in how I participate in others (IG and Twitter)

  7. Barbara, hi! It seems like the more I accept that this is who I am in this season, the more content I am … and the more I can applaud who others are in their season rather than being resentful or jealous or unsettled in my spirit …

  8. It’s so true – there always will be people who are better than us at certain things. It’s so important to keep our focus on being who God made us to be rather than trying to measure up to others.

  9. I did not realize that Theodore Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I love that quote! It is SO THE TRUTH!!! And with social media, as it is today, there is a whole lot of comparison going on! I feel like it’s very difficult for young moms not to fall into this trap. You really cannot compare your everyday reality to someone else’s Instagram life.

    Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!

  10. YES! I love the theory that every strength has a corresponding weakness! I need to remember that for both myself and other people. My new motto is to approach other people with curiosity and kindness (instead of my usual self-satisfied judgmentalism).

  11. I remind myself often of how we are all unique and different and this is a wonderful and my God’s design. It is also freeing and helps me keep my eyes focused on Him and His purposes for me life. Wonderful post!

  12. Such a good reminder to appreciate the gifts God gave us rather than be jealous of the gifts of others. Thank goodness we don’t have to earn God’s love. He loves us just as we are – faults and all!

  13. I love this post. I fall short so often. I was comparing myself to others, I would rarely measure up. But thankfully I don’t have to do that. All God cares about is where I stand in my relationship with Jesus. I’m not competing for His love.

  14. Pingback: Grace And Truth For When You Don't Measure Up ~ Candidly Christian

  15. What an absolutely beautiful post! I truly, truly needed this to encourage me as a writer. The most encouraging part for me was: We may not have the same reach as others, but we each have a unique sphere of influence. God doesn’t call us to do what others do. He only calls us to be faithful to what He wants us to do.

    The part about offsetting weaknesses reminds me of something my mom used to say about marriage when I was engaged: The reasons you love him will also someday be the same reasons he drives you nuts. After 20 years of marriage, I totally agree!!

    Thanks again for this beautiful post!

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