Christmas funnies #2

 

OK, these are really, really corny, but fun. Your kids might like some of them. They are not all directly related to Christmas, but they’re seasonal. The first one is my favorite. Enjoy

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What did the sheep say to the shepherd?
Seasons Bleatings!

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it !

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I’m going out tonight !

What will happen to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick !

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo’s Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly fellow !

Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ?
It was a moth ball!

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.

What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast cereal?
Frosted Flakes

What do you call a polar bear that steals icebergs from other polar bears?
An ice-burglar.

What happens when Frosty the Snowman gets dandruff?
He gets snowflakes.

Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous?
Holly-wood.

What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.

What do you call a cow in Alaska?
An Eski-moo.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?
Because snow man is an island.

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !

How do snowmen travel around?
By iceicle !

What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
Have an ice day!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers !

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: Annoying

PSHunt
Grab the Scavenger Hunt code.Photo Theme. Join the blogroll. Visit participants.

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I thought this week’s theme was a little odd, and maybe a little Scrooge-ish for this time of year, but I’ve been greatly amused at what I’ve seen so far of this week’s posts!

See what other Photo Scavenger Hunters have come up with on today’s theme here at the photo hunt blogroll: newest entries are at the top.

Mary’s virginity

A few days ago I was reminded about a sermon my former pastor, Dr. Mark Minnick, preached some years ago from Matthew 1. There has been some controversy over the use of “young woman” rather than “virgin” in Matthew 1:22 in some versions, and I’m sorry I can’t remember exactly what Dr. Minnick said about that. But what I do remember is that there is evidence of Mary’s virginity all through that passage and the other gospels besides just that one word.

I am going by memory and a few notes in my Bible: Pastor Minnick’s message would have been much more eloquent! 🙂 Any mistakes here are mine, and I may have forgotten some of the points he made, and of course he would have elaborated all of these points.

Evidences of Mary’s virginity before the birth of Jesus:

1. In Matthew 1:16, “And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ,” the phrase “of whom” in Greek is feminine and refers back to Mary. That and the way this birth is worded differently from all the “begats” in the verses before it point to Mary’s virginity.

2. Mary’s reaction to the angel’s announcement that she was to bear the Christ child: “Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?” (Luke 1:34)

3 and 4. Matthew 1:18: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.”

5. Joseph’s reaction: he knew Mary’s child wasn’t his: “Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily” (Matthew 1:19).

6. The angels pronouncement to Joseph: “But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:20-21).

7. Prophecy: “Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” (Matthew 1:22-23).

8. Joseph did not “know” Mary in the Biblical sense as is wife until after Jesus was born: “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS” (Matthew 1:24-25).

Just to make it clear that I am not going to the other extreme, I do not believe Mary was a perpetual virgin forever. The last verse mentioned indicates that Joseph did “know” Mary as his wife some time after Jesus was delivered, and later passages refer to Jesus’ brothers.

See also:

Christmas Devotional Reading

Ten free gifts for Christmas

For God so loved that He gave…

Mary’s Dream

If I were a goose

Christmas quotes.

Christmas funnies or jokes #1 and #2.

The Primary Purpose of a Home.

The Perfect Christmas

Christmas Grief

Christmas Tour of Homes

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BooMama is sponsoring a Christmas tour of homes so we can show each other around our places all decked out for the holidays. What a lovely idea! I’m looking forward to going visiting!

We have this friendly fellow right by out front steps.

Snowman at door

This is on our front door.

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These are on our side doors.

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We don’t have much else in the way of outside decorations. I’d love to, but I can’t physically hang the lights, Jim hasn’t had time to, and the boys don’t really know how. A lot of homes around here have wreaths on all the front windows, and I have wanted to do that for some time, but usually right in the midst of the season there’s just no time, and afterward it is hard to find inexpensive wreaths. If I don’t get it done this year, maybe next year I will when the first Christmas things come out in the fall, before things get really busy with the holidays.

Welcome to the living room!

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I’d like to tell you about a few special things in here. I showed some of our special tree ornaments in an earlier post, so we’ll go on to the decorations on the piano.

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I usually have a few branches of greenery there, but just realized I hadn’t done that yet. I made the verse there for a calligraphy class years ago, but haven’t done much with calligraphy since, I’m afraid. I’d probably have to learn it all over again.

My mom gave me this several years ago. I has a button in the back that you can push to hear Christmas music and watch the lights flash. The boys have loved this.

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This is something else my mom sent: a Nativity music figurine.

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This is one of my most special treasures, also from my mom. I collect Boyd’s Bear figurines, and somewhere she found this Christmas tree with little miniature scenes all though it.

Boyd's tree house

Here are a couple of close-ups:

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On the other end table are these snowpeople.

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I got the three snowboys because they reminded me of my three sons. 🙂 Then the boys got each of the bigger snowmen in a crane game. So we put them all together as our family representatives. 🙂 It just occurred to me that I should get a little feminine hat for one of the bigger ones to represent me. 🙂

I think Jesse bought these for me one year:

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So that little area looks like this:

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As you can tell, I have pastel colors and a lot of pink in my home. That’s a bit of a dilemma at Christmas with all the reds: some of my ornaments and things that were given to me have red in them. In recent years I’ve leaned toward the maroonish bluer reds and dark pinks that would go better with the rest of the decor. But, as I said in the earlier posts about ornaments, I want this all to be family-friendly more than “designer” decorating, so for the most part I just don’t worry about it. However, I was delighted to find this little snowman in my living room colors:

Snowman in my living room colors!

Here are the last couple of things in the living room:

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This is something else my mom sent when the boys were little. They don’t do much with it now, but they used to love moving the little mouse from pocket to pocket through December.

Advent calendar

I was excited to find this “Noel” sign in pinks and blues, and it works well at the window over the kitchen sink:

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One of my favorite decorations is this little mouse. If you light the candle in the back it looks like a fire in the fireplace.

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Here is the fireplace in the family room with the stockings. I made the plaid ones after we were first married and a dear friend knit the others for each of the boys as a baby gift after they were born. The rest of this room is in blue, tan, and off-white, so the red doesn’t clash with pinks in here. 🙂

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I made these ages ago and they are getting worn and falling apart a little, but the boys love these.

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Lastly is this little guy in a corner of the family room by the door:

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Thanks so much for stopping by! Come visit any time. 🙂 I’m looking forward to visiting the rest of the homes linked to BooMama’s Christmas tour, but it may take me a while to get around.

Sharing holiday desserts, cookies, and traditions

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Loni at Joy in the Morning is asking people to share links to their holiday cookies and desserts and any traditions involving them, along with recipes and pictures, if any, here by Dec. 15, and she will post them all in a mini-carnival on Dec. 18. I am looking forward to it!

(Graphics copyright ©2006 Julia Bettencourt. Used with permission.)

Thursday Thirteen #16: Favorite lesser-known Christmas carols

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Click on the title to see the lyrics.

1. Of the Father’s Love Begotten

2. Infant Holy, Infant Lowly

3. Gentle Mary Laid Her Child

4. Wexford Carol

5. Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella

6. Who Is He in Yonder Stall?

7. Lo! How a Rose E’re Blooming

8. In the Bleak Mid-Winter

9. Jesus, Jesus, Rest Your Head

10. CandleLight Carol (John Rutter)

11, Once in Royal David’s City

12. All My Heart This Night Rejoices

13. Still, Still, Still

14. Sweet Little Jesus Boy
You got a bonus one there. 🙂 And here’s another, but I can’t find the lyrics: it is on a CD called A Little Christmas Music by the King’s Singers, called “The Gift,” based on the Shaker hymn “Simple Gifts.” You can hear a snippet of it at that link. It’s one of my most favorites, but that CD is the only place I have ever heard it.

You can visit other Thursday Thirteeners here.

(Photo courtesy of the stock.xchng)

Christmastime Poem

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Christmastime

‘Tis the week before Christmas, we’re all going nuts;
With so much to do, there’s no ifs, ands or buts.

Buy presents, hang tree lights, pop cards in the mail,
Send gift packs, thread popcorn, find turkeys on sale.

Decorations need stringing up all through the house.
And you haven’t a clue what to buy for your spouse.

School concerts, receptions, open houses with friends,
Long lines, short tempers, tying up the loose ends.

With all our mad dashing, we’re reeling from shock;
Let’s stop for a minute and really take stock.

It’s crassly commercial, the cynical say;
If that’s true, that’s our fault – it’s us and not they.

Take time for yourself – though hard as that seems,
Enjoy your kids’ laughter, excitement and dreams.

Take a moment out now, don’t get overly riled,
Instead make an angel in the snow with your child.

The shortbread can wait, and so can the tree;
What’s important to feel is a child’s sense of glee.

The holidays aren’t about push, rush and shove;
They’re for friendship, sharing and family love.

Hear the bells, feel the warmth, light up with the glow
Of a message first sent to us so long ago:

Peace, love and goodwill, and hope burning bright.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

—Author unknown

(Photo courtesy of the stock.xchng)

WFMW: “Dad’s store”

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This is a tip that worked for friends of ours: I think our kids were too old for this by the time we heard of it. The dad would take his two young daughters shopping for their mom, but sometimes they would choose things that were either inappropriate or way beyond their means (whether they used allowance money or the father gave them gift money, I don’t know — it could be done either way). Then would come explanations about why they could not get that thing, disappointment, etc., turning the whole expedition into an ordeal rather than the joyful time it was meant to be.

The father decided to shop by himself and gather smaller, appropriate items and keep them in an old suitcase in his closet. He called it “Dad’s store” and he would let his girls chose a gift for their mother from the suitcase. I think he may even have collected things through the year to put in his “store” and used it for any occasion for which the girls might need a present for their mother. It made the whole experience much more pleasant for them all.

This could be expanded to other gift recipients. Of course, at some point children need to learn how to go to a store and make appropriate choices within their limits, but when they are too small to understand, this seems like a great alternative.

To read a wealth of great tips or link to your own, go to Rocks In My Dryer.

Mary’s Dream

(Author unknown)

I had a dream, Joseph.

I don’t understand it, not really, but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our Son. I think that was what it was all about. The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks. They had decorated the house and bought new clothes. They’d gone shopping many times and bought elaborate gifts. It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren’t for our Son. They wrapped them in beautiful paper and tied them with lovely bows and stacked them under a tree. Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house. They’d decorated the tree also. The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments. There was a figure on the top of the tree. It looked like an angel might look. Oh, it was beautiful. Everyone was laughing and happy. They were all excited about the gifts. They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, not our Son. I don’t think they even knew Him. They never mentioned His name. Doesn’t it seem odd for people to go through all that trouble to celebrate someone’s birthday if they don’t know Him? I had the strangest feeling that if our Son had gone to this celebration he would have been intruding. Everything was so beautiful, Joseph, and everyone so full of cheer, but it made me want to cry. How sad for Jesus – not to be wanted at His own birthday celebration. I’m glad it was only a dream.

How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real.

See also:

Christmas Devotional Reading

Mary’s Virginity

For God so loved that He gave…

Ten free gifts for Christmas

Christmas quotes.

Christmas funnies or jokes #1 and #2.

The Primary Purpose of a Home.

If I were a goose

The Perfect Christmas

Christmas Grief

Christmas Tree Treasures

tree-1.jpgMorning Glory is hosting a time for us to share special Christmas tree ornaments and any stories behind them. We just got our tree up Saturday, and I am just getting the pictures up today.

I don’t know if any other moms struggled with this, but early on I had to make a decision between whether I’d have a “designer” tree with everything to my tastes and “just so,” or whether to have a tree the whole family could participate in. Of course, the latter won out: family is a big part of Christmas, not having everything decorated a certain way. So, this tree is a hodgepodge, but we have fun with it. 🙂

Here is the full view:

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These are some felts ones I made early on in our marriage, I think from a kit. I love the little sheep.

This is a Boyd’s Bear ornament my dear friend Carol gave me:

This is from a set of Victorian ornaments that I love which icludes a ball and a teardrop shape with the same little flower cluster:

This is a nativity ornament which clips on to one of the light bulbs so it shines through. Someone gave this to someone else at a Secret Sister Christmas party at church, and I liked it so much I went out and bought one for us. 🙂 I think it is the only Hallmark ornament we have.

This is from a gingerbread man set. I think I got it (just because it is cute) from a store we used to have nearby that sold pools in the summer and Christmas stuff in the fall and winter, but it went out of business.

One of my sisters made these little cross-stitch banners for us one year.

This is from a cute little button and wire set.

This is one I made early on. It has about 1/3 of a toilet paper roll inside and is wrapped in a strip of red felt. White felt circles go over the ends and cross-stitch floss is used to sew the tops and bottoms on in that drum-like pattern. Then little strips of felt are rolled around the end of toothpicks for the drumsticks, and they are glued on. This is made to sit on a branch, but you could use the same floss to make a loop through the edge of the top white felt circle.

This is from a cute little felt snowman set I liked. I bought it rather than made it, but I made the little plastic canvas candy cane.

I took these off so I could take a picture of them in a set. I made them when I worked at a fabric store. Different workers would be asked to make different things from the store, the store would provide the materials, and we would get to keep them after they were taken off display. These are very simple, just cut from the print-outs on the cloth, sewn, and stuffed. If I were doing them today I would add some decorative stitching or quilting or something. I am almost to the point of not really wanting to use them any more, but the kids still love them. When they were little, they would be allowed to hang these and other soft ornaments on the lower branches while Jim and I hung the more delicate ones up high. As they got older, they were convinced that the little girl ornament was carrying an axe rather than a tree and that she was after the boy ornament with it, and they would hang them right next to each other. Boys. 🙂 🙄

This is another one I bought “just because” I thought it was pretty, and I love heart shapes.

These are a set I bought, I think, from some home-party company. Jesse enjoyed hanging them in a diagonal row across the front of the tree.

I don’t know where we got this one. I think maybe one of the kids got it during a Christmas party. It’s another one I would probably toss except they love it: they call it the “the misshapen bear.” I don’t know what happened to its little face. The white underneath is from a snowman ornament that is a little behind it from this perspective.

This one is special to me because it is one of the first ones I ever made. I found the little circle, stained it, found the little miniature tree, dipped the tips of its branches in glue and then it different colors of glitter, then glued it into the circle and added a gold thread loop.

When Jeremy and Jason were first in school, the school they were in asked committees of moms to make ornaments for the class each year. The ornaments were different from year to year and class to class just depending on what the moms for each room wanted to do. Eventually they stopped, I think because they didn’t have enough moms who had the time to keep doing it. I wished I had kept up the tradition of making an ornament for each of them each year. This is just one of those, made when Jeremy was in second grade.

This is, I think, our newest one, bought last year at the Christian bookstore. Having all boys, I’ve loved cards and ornaments with little shepherd boys.

This is from a set someone made for us, and, though I really appreciate the thought…. I don’t really like the ornaments themselves. But the boys love them.

This is one of my two attempts at One Stroke painting.

This is one of several cross-stitch ornaments I made several years ago. I think these were the first things I cross-stitched.

So, there you have a sampling of some of our favorite ornaments…a mixture of home-made and store-bought, elegant and childish, cute and….not. 🙂 We always enjoy putting them on as a family. Each boy has his own special ones he likes to put on, and we like to go over the stories of them.

Now, I am going to try to publish this post and hope it doesn’t crash with all of the pictures. 🙂 Come over to Morning Glory’s and scroll down to the Christmas tree treasure post to see some others’ treasures or link to your own.