Book Review: Feminine Appeal

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney came about when several people heard her teach through Titus 2 and urged her to put her talks into book form.

In the first chapter she shares her early wife and mothering years of wishing she had someone to come alongside and teach, guide, ask questions of, etc., and then explains that’s exactly what Titus 2 calls us to do.

I appreciate that instead of pulling these verses out to stand on their own, she brings out them out in the context of the rest of the chapter. The purposes for godly women mentoring younger women goes beyond our individual homes and families: the larger purpose is that such teaching “becomes” (KJV) or “accords with” (ESV) “sound doctrine” (verse 1), “that the word of God be not blasphemed” (verse 5), “that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you”, (verse 8), and “that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things” (verse 10). She explains that “To ‘adorn’ means to put something beautiful or attractive on display — like placing a flawless gemstone in a setting that uniquely shows off its brilliance” (p. 27). By our actions and conduct, even how we minster to our homes and families, we can display the gospel of Christ.

She then delineates the teaching of Titus 2:3-5 into seven virtues, giving each of them their own chapter:

The Delight of Loving My Husband
The Blessings of Loving My Children
The Safety of Self-Control
The Pleasure of Purity
The Honor of Working at Home
The Rewards of Kindness
The Beauty of Submission

Though much of the book is directed to married women, Carolyn encourages single women to read along, too, both because much of this instruction is to all women, and because it will help prepare them if God does lead them to marriage, and it will help them as they mentor and encourage other women as well.

There was much that spoke to me in this book, but a few highlights particularly stood out. One was a reminder that “While the salvation of our children is our highest aim, our tender love is not sufficient for this task. Only the Holy Spirit is able to reveal the truth of the gospel. However, our tender love can be an instrument in God’s hands” (p. 61).

Another came from the chapter on self-control.

“Self-control doesn’t just happen. We can’t adopt the indifferent attitude ‘let go and let God’ and expect magically to become self-controlled. Self-control requires effort. However, development of this quality is not solely dependent on us. We cannot acquire this virtue by our own strength. It is only as we cooperate with the power of the Holy Spirit that we will achieve self-control, Our growth will take place as it did with Paul who said, ‘For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me’ (Col. 1:29). Notice that Paul did toil and struggle, but his effort was initiated and sustained by the Holy Spirit.”

I wrote recently about the struggle between grace and obedience, and this caps those thoughts off perfectly.

I hadn’t heard the word the KJV uses here, “sober,” interpreted as self-control before, but other versions use that word, and the original Greek word does convey that idea.

Another highlight was a quote from Dorothy Patterson’s book Where’s Mom?:

“Much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else’s and not your own” (p. 102).

Absurd, isn’t it? I was thinking recently that most everyone appreciates good marriages, well-behaved polite and kind children, and walking into a well-ordered home, yet how ironic that society devalues the efforts of those dedicated to them.

Another quote from the same book says:

Homemaking — being a full-time wife and mother — is not a destructive drought of uselessness but an overflowing oasis of opportunity; it is not a dreary cell to contain one’s talents and skills but a brilliant catalyst to channel creativity and energies into meaningful work” (p. 109).

After receiving many of the truths in this book multiple times over the years through godly teaching and preaching, good books, and my own studies, there wasn’t much that was new to me here, and perhaps anticipation of that is what kept this book on my nightstand for ages before I finally determined to include it in my spring reading plans. But it’s good to remind ourselves from time to time of truths we already know. We can get discouraged in our duties or sway one way or another, pulled off-balance by differing opinions and philosophies. Reading such a book as this provides both encouragement and course correction.

Whether you need encouragement or reminding, or you’ve never received such instruction as this, or you need help knowing how to mentor others, I recommend this book to you.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Dad’s Job Description

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Subject: JOB DESCRIPTION
Position: DAD

Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES

~ Must provide on-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing. Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus.

~ Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project.

~ Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, “He got more than me!” for the rest of your life.

~ Must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above mentioned skills in conflict resolution.

~ Must be able to choose your battles wisely and then stick to your guns.

~ Must be able to withstand criticism, such as “You don’t know anything.”

~ Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go skating.

~ Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

~ Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat, in case this time the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

~ Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

~ Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery-operated devices.

~ Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

~ Must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name.

~ Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions on the fly such as “What makes the wind move?” or “Why can’t we just stop all wars?”

~ Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

~ Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

~ Other responsibilities include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. One possible promotion is to “Grandpa,” but that’s really a totally different job.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION

You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, the job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life, if you play your cards right.

(Author Unknown)

Thanks to my father, step-father, and husband who took on the challenge!

Happy Father’s Day to them and all the dads out there!

Laudable Linkage, Pictures, and Videos

Posted on June 16, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Here are some interesting and edifying things seen around the Web this week:

101 Blog Post Ideas.

Vain Conceit.

Do Familial Curses Still Exist?

What’s It Like to Be an Introverted Woman in Church Circles? Enlightening comments.

20 Free Gooseberry Patch Recipes.

Turning a Bed Sheet Into a N0-Sew Curtain.

Laundry Room Organization. I especially like the curtain!

20 Quick Fixes for Boneless Chicken Breasts.

A few things seen on Pinterest:

Should Christian Women Wear Bikinis? Based on a Princeton study:

Bill Cosby on Father’s Day. 🙂

Have a good weekend!

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week, a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

OK, so what happened to the slower, lazy, laid-back days of summer? 🙂 They seem to be too fast and too busy, but here are some of the highlights of the last week:

1. A replaced gift card. Almost two years ago when we moved one week and then went back to SC to help Jeremy move, I had a birthday in there, and my main gift was a sizable gift card. Somewhere in all the shuffling, it got lost. I knew I had put it back in the birthday card and assumed I’d find it as I continued unpacking, but didn’t. After some months I told my husband about it. We still had the receipt, so he was going to see if they would replace it. But here that store isn’t near us, so we just kept forgetting about it. We had to go somewhere the week before last that was near that place and finally took care of it, and after taking the information and checking their records, they sent us a replacement. They didn’t even take any off the balance — Jim said it was illegal to do so now. So that’s a relief, and now I can plan a shopping excursion. 🙂

2. Touring a local community college. They seemed really on top of things, everyone was very helpful, and we were impressed.They have ties with several universities, so after getting a two-year associates degree he can go on to a university and have his credits transfer. And he gets plunged into his major courses right away, so he can find out early on whether the major he is interested in in one that he likes and can handle.

3. Good talks. If Jesse goes to the above college, which seems likely at this point, he’ll be the first of my children not to go to a Christian college. That makes me both sad and apprehensive, but we had a good talk about ways to handle that. A couple of kids from his high school are going there, he’ll be living at home and going to the same church, so hopefully he will stay grounded. Of course, ultimately, whether in a Christian or secular place, one’s own relationship with the Lord needs to be maintained and one needs to walk closely with Him.

4. Mexican food! We went to a Mexican food place for lunch after the tour Monday and then had enchiladas last night.

5. Finishing books. Books are always a favorite. but I was bogged down in a long one for a while, so it was nice to complete that and get on to some others.

I keep thinking the next week will be slower and less busy, but it hasn’t happened so far. Maybe this will be the week that comes true! 🙂

Book Review: It Is Not Death to Die: A New Biography of Hudson Taylor

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Barbara Harper

(I hope you’ll forgive me for talking mostly about books the last two weeks. 🙂 I happened to finish several recently and I’m trying to finish off my spring reading plans.)

I’ve mentioned before the importance of reading missionary biographies, for our own growth and inspiration and to keep before us those names in church history that need to be remembered just like Washington, Lincoln, and others need to be remembered in our secular history.

Hudson Taylor is one of those names for several reasons. He was a pioneer missionary to China in the 1800s during a time when China was especially hostile and suspicious of foreigners. He wanted to convert people to Christ in their own culture rather than converting them to Western culture. He dressed as a Chinaman, much to the dismay and criticism of the overseas European community and even other missionaries, simply because he found that the most effective way to work with the Chinese. A missionary coming into a town dressed as a European was likely to be attacked and cause a riot. He suffered much hardship uncomplainingly and purposefully lived as simple a life as possible. He did not set out to start a mission agency, but the agency which sent him out failed miserably: they failed to advise or prepare him, failed to forward funds and communicate with him when he was on the field, causing other mission agencies to step in and help him and others, and then they had the gall to criticize other mission agencies in the periodicals of the day. The necessity of a mission agency attuned to the needs in China and resp0nsible in its habits led to Hudson beginning the China Inland Mission. There were a few missionaries in the bigger cities, but China wanted to go inland where the gospel had not been preached. Probably the most notable aspects of Hudson, however, were his simple childlike (but not childish) faith and his unswerving obedience to what he perceived God wanted him to do.

For these reasons I was very glad to see It Is Not Death to Die: A New Biography of Hudson Taylor by Jim Cromarty. There are two older well-known biographies of Hudson Taylor. One is a two-volume set, Hudson Taylor in Early Years: The Growth of a Soul and Hudson Taylor and the China Inland Mission: The Growth of a Work of God by his daughter and son-in-law, Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor, first published in 1911. But the first volume is over 500 pages and the second well over 600, which can be quite daunting and they can sometimes be hard to find (Amazon only had used copies but I found them on sale just now here.) These are excellent and easily readable though they were written over a hundred years ago. The other well-known biography of Taylor is Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, also written by his daughter and son-in-law, but much more compact at 272 pages and still printed regularly today.

I had high hopes that this new biography by Cromarty would bridge the gap between these two and bring Hudson’s life before a modern audience that might not seek out the older books. And while it is a faithful representation with much research evidently behind it and I can recommend it, I wish it were more dynamically written. It’s a good reference book for people who want to know more about Taylor, but I don’t know if it would draw in those who are unfamiliar with him or those who do not like to read biographies.

Biographers do have it a little rough: they can write in a story form, which is more interesting but tends to be less accurate as the biographer has to invent conversations and situations to bring out the points he needs to; or they can right a factual version which can tend to be more encyclopedic and accurate, but which doesn’t appeal to the average modern reader. This one is in the style of the latter. I think it could have been much more condensed: there are many descriptions of various CIM missionaries’ travels which could have been left out or at least summarized. The book is 481 pages, not including indexes and end notes, and I have to admit I got bogged down in places.

But I do recommend the book. If you persevere, you will find great nuggets about Taylor’s character. He was not unflawed: he was very human and he would never have wanted people to think he was some super-Christian. But he loved and followed the Lord in an exemplary and humble way.

I marked way too many places to share, especially in a review that is long already:

But here are a few places that stood out to me:

His health, as he described it, could “not be called robust” (p. 49), but I hadn’t realized he struggled so much with his health through the years, including regular bouts of dysentery.

Before he went to China, the girl he had planned to marry refused his proposal because she did not want to go to China. He wrote to his mother, “Trusting God does not deprive one of feelings or deaden our natural sensibilities, but it enables us to compare our trials with our mercies and to say, ‘Yet notwithstanding, I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation'” (p. 55).

Once during a storm on the way to China in a ship, he took off a life jacket because he felt he was trusting in it rather than the Lord. Later he realized that was wrong thinking and wrote, “The use of means ought not to lessen our faith in God; and our faith in God ought not to hinder whatever means He has given us for the accomplishment of His own purposes…When in medical or surgical charge of any case, I have never thought of neglecting to ask God’s guidance and blessing in the use of appropriate means…to me it would appear presumptuous and wrong to neglect the use of those measures which He Himself has put within our reach, as to neglect to take daily food, and suppose that life and health might be maintained by prayer alone” (p. 99). He was later said to be “a man of prayer, but it was prayer associated with action…’He prayed about things as if everything depended upon the praying…but he worked also, as if everything depended upon the working'” (p. 329).

To live in inland China at that time meant giving up what would be considered as Western luxuries, and Hudson tried hard to give a real picture of the mission field before new missionaries came over. “The only persons wanted here are those who will rejoice to work — really to labour — not to dream their lives away; to deny themselves; to suffer in order to save.” (p. 294). He wrote to applicants, “If you want hard work, and little appreciation of it; value God’s approbation more than you fear man’s disapprobation; are prepared, if need be, to seal your testimony with your blood and perhaps oftentimes to take joyfully the spoiling of your goods…you may count on a harvest of souls here, and a crown of glory that does not fade away, and the Master’s ‘Well done’…it is no question of ‘making the best of both worlds’ — the men who will be happy with us are those who have this world under their feet” (p. 303).

At one time he said. “My soul yearns, oh how intently for the evangelization of these 180 millions of the nine unoccupied provinces. Oh that I had a hundred lives to give or spend for their good…Better to have pecuniary and other outward trials and perplexities, and blessing in the work itself, souls being saved, and the name of the Lord Jesus being magnified, than any measure of external prosperity without it” (p. 297).

He was known to be a humble and unassuming man. Many meeting him for the first time were surprised that he didn’t “stand out,” but looked at first like a regular Chinaman. Spurgeon wrote of him, “Mr. Taylor…is not in outward appearance an individual who would be selected among others as the leader of a gigantic enterprise; in fact, he is lame in gait, and little in stature; but…his spirit is quiet and meek, yet strong and intense; there is not an atom of self-assertion about him, but a firm confidence in God” (p. 329). Many times he quietly and unassumingly helped and ministered to others, especially new arrivals. Once when a group he was with had to spend a night on a boat with a leper, and someone complained about the stench of his bedding, Hudson spent the night in his cabin uncomplainingly and bought him new bedding the next day. Another time when an exhausted group of travelers fell into bed without eating, Hudson prepared omelets for them all. Once when he knew of a paper that was critical of him, almost derogatory, he said, “That is a very just criticism, for it is all true. I have often thought that God made me little in order that He might show what a great God He is” (p. 400).

In one meeting, Hudson said, “What we give up for Christ we gain, and what we keep back is our real loss…Let us make earth a little less homelike, and souls more precious. Jesus is coming again, and so soon! Will He really find us obeying His last command?” (p. 383).

I had thought that the title of this book came from the hymn, “It is Not Death to Die,” originally written in 1832 and recently updated. But in writing of Hudson’s death, Cromarty cites the Banner of Truth 1977 publication of Pilgrim’s Progress, at the section where Mr. Valiant-For-Truth dies, and the line “It Is Not Death to Die” is in the passage he quotes but I have not found it in the online versions of Pilgrim’s Progress. Nevertheless, the sentiment is true. Dying to self and living for Christ, which Hudson Taylor exemplified, is true life, just as dying to this body makes way for heaven for those who have trusted Christ as Savior.

(For a more positive review that brings out some different things about Cromarty’s book and Taylor’s life, see my friend Debbie’s review here.)

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: When Crickets Cry

Posted on June 13, 2012 by Barbara Harper

I don’t usually quote from the backs of books when reviewing them but in the case of When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin, this says it much more succinctly and much better than I could.

A man with a painful past. A child with a doubtful future. And a shared journey toward healing for both their hearts.

It begins on the shaded town square in a sleepy Southern town. A spirited seven-year-old has a brisk business at her lemonade stand. But the little girl’s pretty yellow dress can’t quite hide the ugly scar on her chest.

Her latest customer, a bearded stranger, drains his cup and heads to his car, his mind on a boat he’s restoring at a nearby lake. The stranger understands more about the scar than he wants to admit. And the beat-up bread truck careening around the corner with its radio blaring is about to change the trajectory of both their lives.

Before it’s over, they’ll both know there are painful reasons why crickets cry . . . and that miracles lurk around unexpected corners.

It’s obvious from the beginning that the man, Reese, is hiding somewhat from someone or something, and his background and reasons for doing so are skilfully unfolded through the course of the book. That he recognizes the scar on Annie’s chest and knows what to do at the accident indicates he has either been a patient with the same ailment she has, or he is in the medical field.

There is not much more I can say about the plot of the book without seriously spoiling the discovery for others, but the journey towards the different kinds of healing they each need is beautifully, touchingly, skilfully written.

There were a couple of things that keep me from giving it a whole-hearted endorsement, however. There is brief mention throughout of things like lovers skinny-dipping, a guy ogling a girl’s chest, the outline of a naked woman on a sign, etc. They are no more explicit than that, and I know those things occur in real life, but I didn’t really need them mentioned or need my thoughts pulled in those directions, although I did appreciate the reasons given to one character as to why he shouldn’t be looking at the wrong kind of magazines.

One real oddity to me in the book is a bar “disguised as a billboard for God” with verses on the cocktail napkins, mixed drinks named after the apostles, the Ten Commandments and Sermon on the Mount on chalkboards, gospel music in the jukebox (though the selections are listed as rock titles, so when someone thinks they are paying for and playing one song, the gospel version actually plays). Davis, the owner, cook, and bartender, has a degree in theology, though he doesn’t advertise that fact, and does sell alcohol, though he mixes it with a nonalcoholic version when he thinks it best. He’s motivated by the fact that the people who most need the Lord don’t come to church, so he goes to them, and “if it means titillating people’s sin senses and hoodwinking them on their beer, he’s comfortable before God and telling Him he did it that way.” There is a naked woman weather vane on top of the building and “adult” signs, though there is no nakedness or “adult” activity in the bar. “Bottom line, Davis is not interested in the people who aren’t attracted to the promise of big bosoms, cold beer, and the possibility of having both. And for that reason he’s targeting the folks who think they can’t live without them.”

This is all really disturbing to me. It’s good and admirable to want to reach those who wouldn’t normally come to church if invited and to go out of one’s way to do so, to go out to them, but to “titillate people’s sin senses” to do so goes a step beyond “being like the world to win the world,” which is not what we’re called to do.

One character experiences a “disconnect” between what he hears and what he came in for. “Well, no wonder,” I thought. I come from a non-Christian family, my father was an alcoholic and my sisters go to bars, and they would find this an incongruous as I do.

The character of Reese, who describes this place, doesn’t necessarily endorse it and doesn’t suggest “that the end justifies the means,” but he does point to Davis’s well-attended Bible study.

I’m not sure if the author is justifying this or just creating an eccentric character, but though his writing makes me want to read more of him, this whole scenario makes me wary of him. This isn’t really a major part of the book, taking up only a few paragraphs, and I am glad I read the rest of the story. I hope he doesn’t muddy his other stories with this kind of thing. I’d like to read more of his work, but if it is all like this I won’t be able to.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: Infinitely More by Alex Krutov

Posted on June 12, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Alexander Krutov was born December 6, 1977 in St. Petersburg, Russia. When his teen-aged mother left the hospital three days later, she discarded him in a nearby dumpster. Thankfully God allowed someone to hear his crying, and since he still had his hospital bracelet on, they returned him to the hospital.

He spent the rest of his growing-up years in various orphanages. His humor shines through when he mentions Orphanage Number 9 and comments, “Though the Russians have written some of the greatest works of literature and music, our creativity apparently does not extend to naming orphanages.”

He describes growing up in the orphanages, the general lack of individual attention and care except by a few, the physical lacks (no hot water or shower, only a bucket of water once a week) the lack of individuality (three sets of new clothes once a year that looked exactly like everyone else’s). Yet there were bright lights along the way in a few close friendships and a special caretaker named Melana. He was adopted at one time, but it was a horrid experience resulting in his running away several times until a couple found him asleep in a park, intervened for him, and the orphanage took him back.

He had some experiences with the Russian Orthodox Church, even rising to a level of leadership, but found after a crisis that “my religion had nothing to offer me when I needed it most, and I in turn had nothing to offer the others. I turned my back on the Russian Orthodox Church that day, and accelerated my journey into darkness, despair, and hopelessness.”

The collapse of the Soviet Union 1991 brought many changes to the orphanages, some good and some not so good. But one significant difference was that missionaries were allowed to come into the country. Several encounters with short-term missionaries planted seeds in Alex’s life. Though at first he was not convinced that there was a God who cared about him, he did see a difference in the lives of these people and felt drawn to them. Some missionaries from the Navigators came, and Alex was able to spend much time with them and go to church with them and began reading the Bible on his own. When he was 16 he accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior. His faith was still fragile at first, but gradually it grew and became firm. He had a teachable spirit when the American Christians had to talk to him at times about wrong attitudes.

The Soviet system did not really prepare orphans for any kind of productive life when they became adults. Alex says in one place “the Russian society honestly believed it would be better for everyone if they just died.”

Eventually God led Alex to help in the formation of a ministry to help prepare older orphans for life as responsible adults and tell them of Christ, and it is my understanding that he is still involved with that ministry today in his 30s.

I don’t know if I am doing this book justice, but it was a wonderful read. It was hard in places, seeing what Alex and other orphans went through, but there were so many times the grace of God was manifested in his life, protecting him and bringing him to Himself. I highly recommend it, five stars and two thumbs up!

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

No, Not Despairingly

Posted on June 10, 2012 by Barbara Harper

I had not heard this song in years, but a friend posted the lyrics on Facebook recently, reminding me of them. In fact, the only time I have heard this song was when the music pastor of the church we attended when we were first married sang them. But it is a rich old hymn. The tune I am familiar with is not the same one listed here.

No, not despairingly come I to Thee;
No, not distrustingly bend I the knee:
Sin hath gone over me, yet is this still my plea,
Jesus hath died.

Ah! mine iniquity crimson hath been,
Infinite, infinite—sin upon sin:
Sin of not loving Thee, sin of not trusting Thee—
Infinite sin.

Lord, I confess to Thee sadly my sin;
All I am tell I Thee, all I have been:
Purge Thou my sin away, wash Thou my soul this day;
Lord, make me clean.

Faithful and just art Thou, forgiving all;
Loving and kind art Thou when poor ones call:
Lord, let the cleansing blood, blood of the Lamb of God,
Pass o’er my soul.

Then all is peace and light this soul within;
Thus shall I walk with Thee, the loved Unseen;
Leaning on Thee, my God, guided along the road,
Nothing between.

~ Horatious Bonar, 1866

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on June 8, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Can you believe we’re almost a third of the way through June already?!

Here are a few favorites from the last week:

1. We closed on our old house Wednesday! You can’t really count on closing til it’s over and done and everyone has signed everything — once with a previous house we went to the closing only to have the buyers bring up some issues and show they weren’t ready financially (after we had driven three hours to be there!) But thankfully everything went through. I was a lot more emotional than I thought I’d be going through the house for the last time. But the family buying it is a young couple with 2 children who have been living in a 2 BR apartment, so they are really looking forward to having more space. I hope they have as many happy memories there as we did!

2. Watching Wives and Daughters via Netflix after finishing the book.

3. Single-sized servings of cake. I was hankering for something chocolate but did not want the temptation of a whole cake in my house. The grocery store has single-serving slices of cake in the bakery, and I enjoyed one slice of Double Chocolate. Now if they only had single servings of chocolate pie. I’ve seen other kinds of pie in single servings in the freezer section, but not chocolate.

4. A new gas oven and range. That’s not something I had been yearning for, but the heating element and igniter went out, and it would have cost about as much to fix it as it was to get a new one. We went appliance shopping over the weekend, and it was delivered and installed Tuesday. It’s always fun to have a brand new shiny appliance. 🙂 I especially like the display panel: the one on the previous oven was very hard to read, and this one is much bigger and easier to see.

5. Roasted squash and zucchini. Tried this last night and it was really good except that I cooked it just a smidgen too long.

I hope you’ve had a great week as well! Have a good weekend!

Book Review: Wives and Daughters

Posted on June 7, 2012 by Barbara Harper

Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell follows the story of Molly Gibson, the young daughter of a widowed country doctor in 19th century England. In the first chapter Molly is a young girl going to her first “open house” of the town’s Earl and family, held once a year at what the townsfolk call “The Great House.” She doesn’t have the best experience there and never attends another.

Some years later she’s a young lady, and one of the pupils her father has taken on has decided he is in love with her. Molly knows nothing of this, but her father feels she is too young for such things and sends her to Hamley Hall in hopes that his young protege’s ardor will cool. Mrs. Hamley has been one of his patients for years, not quite an invalid, but not very active, and for some time she has wanted Molly to come and visit. Through their time together they become quite close, and the Hamleys regard Molly as close as a daughter.

The Hamleys are landed gentry but have fallen on hard times. They have two sons away at Cambridge: Osbourne carries the family’s hopes, handsome, charming, fashionable, and expected to do brilliantly, and Roger is a man of science, plainer, but steady as a rock. Squire Hamley loves Molly as well and regards her father as a dear friend but strongly feels that marrying Molly would be beneath either of his boys because her father is a “professional” man.

While Molly is away her father contemplates his situation. Molly is at the age where it is awkward for him to keep taking young men as pupils, as his pupils live with him. He hadn’t really thought of remarrying, but begins to think it would be good for Molly if he did. Circumstances bring him into contact with Miss Claire, former governess at the Great House, and in pretty short order he proposes.

Molly is not happy. She feels the loss of having her father all to herself, and her earlier encounter with Miss Claire makes her unexcited about having her for a step-mother. But she tries to make the best of it.

Claire, or Hyacinth, as she prefers to be called after her engagement, married primarily to escape the pressure and tedium of having to support herself and her daughter Cynthia, near Molly’s age, who is at school in France. She speaks great flowing sweet words, but something always seems a little off in what she says. She’s not an evil stepmother, but she is totally self-centered. For instance, when her daughter Cynthia is due to come home, Claire, now Mrs. Gibson, wants to redecorate the girls’ rooms just alike even though Molly begs her not to. Molly’s room is furnished with her mother’s things. But Mrs. Gibson doesn’t want people to think she favored her own daughter by decorating only her room, so she insists that both girls’ rooms are alike.

Cynthia comes home, and the girls become fast friends, though Cynthia is the kind of girl that draws all eyes to herself when she enters a room. She’s beautiful, charming, and worldly-wise while Molly is more plain and naive.

The rest of the book follows the interactions of these and a few others. It’s not an action-packed plot, but it had me smiling in places and in tears in others.

Gaskell did a marvelous job with characterization. Cynthia and Molly, Osbourne and Roger are studies in contrasts, and it’s clear which of each pair is regarded as “good,” yet the others have some good qualities and invite our sympathy. None of her characters are caricatures: each has layers. Squire Hamley is gruff and blustery but not as unfeeling as he seems at times. Dr. Gibson is wise but has a keen wit and some of the best humorous lines. For instance, when his wife is envying someone with more than herself and consoles herself by saying, “But riches are a great snare,” her husband answers, “Be thankful you are spared temptation, my dear.” When Mrs. Gibson goes away for a week and Molly is looking forward to going back to some of their old habits, Dr. Gibson’s “eyes twinkled, but the rest of his face was perfectly grave. ‘I’m not going to be corrupted. With toil and labour I have reached a very fair height of refinement. I won’t be pulled down again.'”

It’s hard to say what the theme of the book is, if there is one. It definitely shows the complications of secrets, the devastating harm of gossip, the disappointment of misplaced expectations. Yet perhaps the focus is just on remaining steady and doing the right thing in the face of all of that.

Unfortunately Mrs. Gaskell died before the book’s last chapter was finished, but a Frederick Greenwood concludes the book with what was known of Mrs. Gaskell’s intentions.

I loved this book, and when it ended I was sorry that I wouldn’t be able to spend any more time with these characters.

Audible.com includes a little sample of the reading of their books, and I listened to several before choosing this one read by Nadia May. She was the most expressive, and she did a wonderful job with the different characters’ voices and inflections, from older men to young girls, and one character with a Scottish accent and another who was French.

I also indulged in the BBC-produced film of Wives and Daughters via Netflix (in four parts of about an hour and 15 minutes or so each), and it was remarkably well done. There were some little changes here and there, naturally, some scenes left out and others squished together, a greater liberty taken with the ending, but overall it was faithfully done and much of the dialogue was taken straight from the book.

Here is a trailer from the film — it’s making me want to watch it all over again: