Flashback Friday: Extracurriculars

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site. You can visit her site for more Flashbacks.

The question for this week is:

What type of extra-curricular school activities did you participate in during your school days? Clubs? Spelling bees or other contests? Cheerleader or drill team? Sports? Journalism? Choir or theater? Were there any memorable events related to those? Did you receive any awards? Were football games a big deal at your school? Did you usually attend – and was it with a group or as a date? What was Homecoming like?

My first thought was that I didn’t participate in many extra-curricular activities, but after thinking about it, I realized I did have a few.

In my childhood, it was unheard of for kids to have so many things going on with music lessons and sports all the time, etc. It’s hard as a parent to know where the balance should be between giving them opportunities to grow, develop, and learn and not running everybody ragged. I think there needs to be some carefree downtime for just playing in a child’s life, for lying in the grass looking up at the clouds and imagining what the shapes are.

But back to the question:

Money was scarce when I was growing up, and that may have had a lot to do with the lack of extra-curricular activities. I do remember someone coming to our school in an assembly to talk about violin lessons, and I so wanted to take them, but I just assumed we wouldn’t have the money for such, so I didn’t even bring it up to my parents. That’s been one of the regrets of my life. I took one semester of piano in college and enjoyed it, but concluded I just didn’t have time for it — it took me five years to complete a four-year course as it was. I thought about taking some kind of music lessons as an adult, because there are times I’d just love to express myself in that way, but the amount of time it would take to get to that level, to be able to play well without getting frustrated, is more than I want to spend right now — I have other, higher interests. So I just listen to great music. ๐Ÿ™‚

I was not athletically inclined at all, and P. E. was always my valley of humiliation, so I never took part in any outside sports, though that may have actually helped me if I had. But, except for Little League baseball and swimming lessons, I don’t remember ever even hearing about extracurricular sports for kids at all.

I was in a couple of spelling bees in elementary school and won for my class and got up to the level where the winners from each grade participated in a spelling bee in front of the whole school, but I bombed out both times. One year I lost on the word “chocolate,” of all things. Maybe that is why I am so obsessed with it now. ๐Ÿ™‚

The biggest thing in my elementary years was Girl Scouts. My mother’s father was very big into the Boy Scouts organization — I don’t remember at what level of leadership, but I do remember attending some kind of big jubilee or something like that that they had several years. So his participation may have influenced my parents towards Scouts. I don’t remember much about it except my first camping experiences and making a poncho with pom-pom fringe for the sewing badge — one of our leaders invited a bunch of us over to use her sewing machine, and we all watched Gilligan’s Island, I think, while taking turns with the sewing machine. I remember really enjoying Scouts as a whole.

The elementary school I attended let kids do book reports outside of class requirements and gave out awards at the end of the year assembly for them — I can’t remember if the awards were for those who did the most, or if increments of ten won certain ribbons or certificates (i.e., you read 10, you got one award, a different one of you read 20, etc.). But I do remember getting some kind of award for that several years in a row.

I mentioned in an earlier Flashback that my family did not attend church regularly, but I do remember being in one church play. I was in a group of girls who were supposed to represent women mourning — I don’t remember which Bible story we were reenacting. But I do remember a group of us with what you think of as the Biblical….scarves, or whatever you call them, over our heads, and then we were holding up more fabric over our faces, like veils, but not covering our eyes, so we could see. We were supposed to walk in like that and making sounds like moaning or loud crying. But I couldn’t stop laughing. It was a good thing we had something to cover up our faces! Other people might have seen me with a red face and thought I was doing a good job, but my mom knew I was laughing just by looking at me as I passed by.

The Baptist Church of a friend of mine had some kind of program for girls — I don’t remember much about it except that the different levels you reached were marked by different members of royalty, with the highest being princess. I remember feeling sad that our attendance was so sporadic that I’d never make those top levels, but otherwise I enjoyed it.

I attended a pretty big high school for 9th and 10th grades, and I don’t remember participating in much there. But I went to a small Christian school in 11th and 12th grades, and there got involved with yearbook, student council, and I don’t remember what all else. I was in choir, but everyone was — it was a class and not really an “extra.” But I liked it. I tried out for cheerleader once (insert hysterically laughing smiley). I attended the occasional football game at the big school, but my best friend was in the band, so I didn’t really have anyone to go with. I don’t remember what sports the small high school had. I don’t think we had a Homecoming there.

In college I was in some kind of “Future Teacher’s” club, a club for the Home Ec Association, and a fledgling writing club that was just starting up my last year. My university always did a couple of Shakespearean plays during the year, and I sometimes wished I had tried out as an extra in one of those, but there just never seemed to be time. As I mentioned, it took me five years to get through just with classes and work — I don’t know how some people were able to do everything they did!

Flashback Friday: Back to School

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is:

Did your family have any back-to-school traditions when you were growing up? Were you generally eager or reluctant to start school? Was buying school supplies a big deal or did you order them through the school? Were there any school supplies you particularly loved? Did you take your lunch or buy it at school? Brown bag or lunch box/thermos? Does the first day of school from any grade stand out? Did you ride the bus, walk, or go by car to school? Do you remember how early or late school began/dismissed each day? Did you go to kindergarten? Half-day or whole day?

I LOVED school, and I loved getting new school supplies and getting them all set up and ready — in a cigar box in elementary school, then graduating to those clear zippered pouches that fit into one’s 3-ring binder. There is just something about a new box of crayons, packages of new pens and pencils, etc. In fact, seeing all the neat new school supplies out in stores has made me wish I needed them! They have some really fun, cute stuff these days. I remember carrying books and such back and forth in a book satchel — something like modern day “messenger bags.”

We didn’t really have any rituals or traditions associated with starting school. We just bought supplies at the store.

We varied between taking and buying lunches. I do remember that the little cartons of milk only cost 5 cents, and I seem to remember even 3 cents in early elementary school. I loved the hard plastic or metal lunch boxes with matching thermoses. I don’t remember what any of mine looked like.

We varied walking, riding the bus, or having someone take us to school depending on where we lived at the time. My most memorable rides involved my grandfather, the one I have mentioned with the distinctive laugh. My mom must have had a job requiring her to be there early at the time, because I remember my grandfather taking me to someone’s house where I had breakfast and then rode to school with them. Almost every single morning in my grandfather’s car we heard “Mairzy Doats” and “Mr. Lonely” on the radio. I don’t remember the people whose house I went to or what they looked like: I only remember that the mom required us to drink the milk left in our cereal bowls, which I thought was really gross.

The only first days of school that stand out are from high school: one was on my August birthday, which I thought was atrocious since school used to start after Labor Day in September. And the other was either when I started high school or when we moved to a new school when I was in jr. high — I don’t remember anything about the day, but I remember my mom picking me up, asking about my day, me shrugging my shoulders and saying something noncommittal like “It was all right,” and her saying she thought of all the kids I’d have the most to say, and I had the least. We talked about nearly everything, so it was unusual for me not to bubble over with all the details about the day. I don’t remember why I seemed to have not much to say that day!

Kindergarten was not required when I was of age, so I started right in with first grade and did fine.

I eagerly anticipated school most years — new books and the glories within, new teachers, seeing old friends. I loved learning (most of the time.)

I wasn’t able to do last week’s flashback because we were in the throes of moving, but it had to do with what we wanted to be when we grew up. I went through various stages, wanting to be a movie star :roll:, teacher, psychologist, writer, but underlying them all was the desire to be a wife and mom, and I am so glad the Lord gave me that privilege. That encompassed a little bit of teaching and psychoanalyzing. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I’ve had various opportunities to write a little bit — maybe He will give opportunity to expand on that. After boxes are unpacked!

Flashback Friday: Early Religious Experiences

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is:

Did your family attend church when you were growing up? What are your earliest memories of church? Did you attend VBS (Vacation Bible School) when you were young? Sunday School? Other church activities? Was faith a Sunday-only thing or did it impact your life and the things you did? If faith and church were not a part of your growing-up years, when and how did you begin and what drew you to God?

I did not grow up in a Christian home. My father never went to church then, and my mother only occasionally did. My mother’s sister and father attended a Lutheran church, and my parents let me attend with them. I do remember learning basic truths and Bible stories and learning in a general way that Jesus Christ died for my sins, but how to actually believe in a way to know that one was a Christian was kind of nebulous idea of having faith of some kind. I don’t remember it ever being brought to a personal level that I as an individual needed to repent of my own sins and trust Christ as my own Savior.

I do remember enjoying Sunday School and VBS. I enjoyed the crafts, singing, activities, Bible stories, and cookies and Kool-aid. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  I only have a few specific memories: one was a craft we made that involved putting one glass upside down over another one with flowers inside and gluing it. I thought it was so pretty and gave it to my grandmother. I do remember gluing macaroni to a box and spray-painting it gold, but I don’t remember if that was VBS or Girl Scouts (what was the deal with macaroni crafts back then?!) I remember hearing in Sunday School teaching on the verse “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?” (Matthew 6: 24-26) and thinking at the time that that was ridiculous. Money problems were frequent at our house, and I thought, how could you not worry about it? I had a lot to learn about faith, and these verses became precious to me in college years and beyond. I also remember feeling bad one time that I had nothing to put in the offering, so I drew or wrote something on a piece of paper — I can’t remember if it was a drawing of money or an IOU of some sort — and put it in when the offering plate was passed. But my cousin’s grandmother — the one on the other side of her family through which we were not related — was a very well-to-do and proper lady and took my piece of paper out. That made me so sad, that I had given the only thing I could, and it wasn’t deemed acceptable. As an adult looking back, I think the ushers would probably have gotten a kick out of finding that in the offering.

When I was in about the third grade, my best friend at the time invited me to revival services at her Baptist church. My parents did not let me go to every religious event I was invited to (thankfully!), but my dad’s folks were Baptist on one side and Methodist on the other, and my mom’s, as I mentioned, were Lutheran, so they usually let me go to those churches if asked. On the second or third night I attended, the pastor was talking about being “saved.” My friend and another of her friends urged me to go forward at the invitation at the end of the service, so I did, but in later years I couldn’t remember what was said or prayed or who I even talked to.

So I struggled for many years with exactly where I stood with the Lord, and it wasn’t really settled until I was about 17. I’ve told this in more detail in my testimony. Then I still struggled with assurance for many years, but I am happy to say I am at rest in Him now.

As far as faith impacting daily life, my parents had something of a “God-fearing” upbringing, and though neither of them wanted to bring their lives under God’s influence and authority at that time, they wanted their children to be taught about Him and to “do right” (my dad did come to salvation later in his 60s: I have told his story here. Though my mom did not make a clear and open profession, I have reason to hope she believed as well, as I discussed here.) My dad’s two biggest issues were respect and obedience, and I think that and what religious training I did have gave me a good foundation and prepared me for learning more later on. I did have kind of an awe and respect and a childish affection for the Lord, but without a lot of discernment: if anyone from mentioned God, I thought that was so neat, not realizing that not everyone who talks about Him knows Him. I am so glad God protected me from cultist influences when I was vulnerable and naive enough to probably have been taken in by them.

I had thought my mother’s family has always been Lutheran, but a few years ago my aunt told me that her father, my grandfather, had been raised by an uncle who was a “circuit-riding preacher” (like Sheffey, for those familiar with him), and my grandfather had helped him in some of his campaigns when he was a boy. That was neat to learn about. I hadn’t thought I had ancestors who prayed for me beyond my own grandparents, so it’s neat to think that maybe even further back there were relatives who knew the Lord and prayed for their descendants. It will be nice to meet them in heaven!

Flashback Friday: Food

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is:

What were meals like when you were growing up? Did your mom (or dad) cook (and was it from scratch or from a box?) or did your family eat out much of the time? Did you eat together as a family or was everyone on a different schedule? What did you call meals? (Dinner vs. supper, lunch, etc.) What were some of your favorite things that your parent fixed? What did you dislike and vow never to fix once you grew up? Did your family have any food traditions, things that were a must on certain occasions (such as Sunday dinners or holiday meals)? Did your parent teach you to cook or did you wing it once you were grown? How similar or different are your family’s eating habits today than when you grew up?

When I was younger, my mom was home sometimes and worked sometimes, so meals varied. My mom was never very domestic and didn’t really like to cook, so most meals were pretty basic. There wasn’t quite as much available in prepared form, so most cooking was from scratch, though I do remember boxed macaroni and cheese and occasional “TV dinners” (with TV trays to set the meal on while we ate and watched TV, but, as I said, that was occasional.) My dad was the traditional “meat and potatoes” lover, so most dinners were a meat, a starch, and a vegetable. If he wasn’t home, Mom had a few easy recipes that I think of as “comfort food” now — spam casserole (yes, really — cut up the spam [though I use Treet, actually, I still call it spam] into cubes, brown it with onion in some margarine, add cooked noodles, a can of cream of chicken soup, and a can of cheddar cheese soup. Not healthy — but good!) or hot dogs cut up into tomato sauce, served with macaroni and cheese.

One dish we had often was beans and rice and cornbread, mainly because it was cheap. Mostly they were pinto beans, sometimes navy beans, often with sausage or ham in them. It would smell so good simmering through the afternoon. My family now isn’t crazy about beans, though they tolerate them in chili, so I haven’t made them myself in years. I can almost smell them now….

Another favorite was what she called “SOS” — ground beef in gravy over rice, usually made on the last day or so before grocery shopping when staples were low.

She also made “drop biscuits” — biscuit dough dropped by the spoonful onto a cookie sheet rather than rolled out and cut. Years later in college one restaurant nearby served them but called them “ugly biscuits.”

We didn’t have as many fresh vegetables as we should have — I think my mom just got tired of fussing with kids over them. I was a teen-ager on a date in a nice restaurant when I had the first salad I can remember.

We didn’t eat out much — it was just too expensive with so many kids. But sometimes after grocery shopping we’d go to a drive-in restaurant called Pick’s, I think, in Corpus Christi. I always got a steakfinger basket and the best chocolate shakes I can remember ever having in my life.

Living so near the coast, often get-togethers involved a big fish fry — someone would do up all the fish and other people would bring side items. They always used a cornmeal coating, which I much prefer to the heavy breaded stuff many restaurants seem to use. The only fish I’ve found in a restaurant that reminded me of what I had in childhood was at a place originally called Po’ Folks, then later just Folks, but sadly they’ve gone out of business.

We did eat all together. Lunch was “lunch,” and we used “dinner” and “supper” interchangeably for the evening meal.

Lunch was usually some type of sandwich. I liked to fry spam for sandwiches or bologna — it kind of forms into a cup when you fry it — but often it was just ham and cheese or peanut butter. If we were running low on groceries, my mom would put margarine on sandwiches instead of Miracle Whip — I always hated that!

My mom would sometimes make a snack of crackers and a mixture which I think was peanut butter and honey … maybe peanut butter and syrup … but something like that that we’d dip crackers in.

I don’t remember any certain traditional foods except the usual Thanksgiving and Christmas menu, and my dad always wanted corned beef and cabbage for his birthday dinner.

After we moved to Houston the summer I turned 16, my mom started working full time and commuting through Houston. I baby-sat the younger kids and would call my mom after school to find out what to start for dinner. She’d give me instructions on what to get started, and she’d finish up anything if needed when she got home, so I guess that’s basically how I learned to cook. I do remember some early cooking experiences with a friend when I was younger than that. One involved not having brown sugar to make cookies and thinking regular sugar would work ok, only to discover our cookies melted into each other. That was before the giant pan cookie came out that you can order and have decorated now — we should have marketed our invention! Another involved trying to make fried chicken — we’d drop the chicken into the hot oil and then run to the other side while it sizzled — I don’t know if we were afraid of getting burnt or starting a fire or what. We were probably too young to be making fried chicken unsupervised!

My step-father would often cook on weekends and was very good at it, but the only dish I can specifically remember was pepper steak.

The only thing I had as a child that I vowed never to cook was spinach or turnip greens. I had a bad experience at an aunt’s house when she made me stay at the dinner table until I ate a certain amount of whatever green stuff she served, and I think I was there all evening. However, I’ve discovered as an adult that I do like fresh spinach in salads and wraps.

And I think that’s about all I remember about my childhood food experiences, though I am sure more memories will filter in over the next few days. Visit Linda‘s to read more or share your own.

Flashback Friday: Things Parents Say

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is:

What sort of sayings, colloquialisms, or proverbs did your family say when you were growing up? When were they used? What do you find yourself saying that you vowed you would never say? What do you say that drives your kids nuts? Is there a regional aspect to your speech? Do you have an accent and were you ever teased about it?

This is the kind of question I wish I’d had a week or so to think about. I know different phrases and sayings will keep coming to my mind for days to come.

My mom used to quote snatches of poems here and there. While pulling into the driveway she’d say, “Home again, home again, jiggety jig.” If it was really windy, she’d say, “The wind blew and the hair flew and you couldn’t see for a day or two.” I’ve never found out if that was from anything — just never thought to ask about it at the time and Google doesn’t show anything for it now. If she was complimenting someone, she might say, “You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din.” Imagine my surprise to discover Gunga Din one day in English class!

She would also say what might sound to an outsider like horrible things when she was frustrated with us, but we knew she was just “venting” in hyperbole, and we’d just shake our heads and smile. It wasn’t in real anger and she never flew off the handle when saying these things, but she’d say things like “I’m going to knock you into next week” or “I’m going to break your neck 37 million pieces” (always some ridiculously high number.) Once when she said the latter I was just learning about bones in school and matter-of-factly answered, “Mom, there are only 206 bones in a whole body.” That didn’t go over very well at the moment, but it was something we all laughed about many times later.

Then there were all the usual momisms:

  • Always wear clean underwear in case you have to go to the emergency room.
  • You’re getting too big for your britches.
  • Pretty is as pretty does (it took me a long time to figure that one out).
  • If everyone else jumps off a bridge, would you do it, too?
  • You’re face is going to freeze like that.
  • Do you think money grows on trees?
  • If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times . . .
  • Close the door. Were you born in a barn?

Re that last one, in our early married days we knew a couple who lived in a barn that had been converted into an apartment, and I always thought it would be so neat if they had a child there who could then respond to that question all his life, “Yes, actually, I was!”

My dad also said some of those things, but the one I remember him saying most was, “How many times have I told you….” whatever it was. I remember at a very young age tearily trying to think how many times and come up with a literal number, because I thought that’s what he wanted. That incident caused me to refrain from asking that same question of my children, though it did come to mind. He would also say, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My grandfather had a ton of sayings, and I wish I could remember them. One series had to do with coffee: my mom would let us drink coffee when we were little, though it was a lot of milk and sugar with coffee added. He routinely made dire predictions that coffee would stunt our growth, or put hair on our chest, or turn different parts of our bodies black, always followed by that distinctive laugh of his. We were pretty sure he was kidding — but we did check ourselves out a time or two in private to make sure. ๐Ÿ™‚

This isn’t something my parents ever said, but I was astounded over the years when someone at school would be having trouble getting along with someone and would be soothed by their parents and friends with the phrase, “They’re just jealous.” This was way before the self-esteem emphasis and really was rarely ever the case! I don’t know why that would be the assumption people would make instead of taking the opportunity to teach conflict resolution.

I asked my youngest if I had any regular sayings, and he said he couldn’t remember any of mine, but my husband would almost always say, when they wanted to buy something, “That’s a lot of money. Are you sure you really want to spend it that way?’ My oldest son has said that question rings in his ears even now when he is contemplating a purchase.

Although I lived in Southeast Texas until I was 22 and in South Carolina and Georgia the rest of my life, somehow I don’t have an accent. In college, people were surprised to learn I was from Texas and would ask where my accent was, and I always wanted to say, “Back home with my ten gallon hat and tumbleweed.” (By the way — this has more to do with stereotypes than colloquialisms, but when my husband first told his dad he was dating a girl from Texas, his dad asked, “Does her daddy own an oil well?” Nope — I’m afraid not!) One quiz I took a few years ago said I had a Midland accent, which they designated as being from “Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri — I have never been to any of those places, but the quiz said that was also a way of saying I didn’t have an accent. My mom didn’t either, really, and she lived in TX all her life. My dad did, too, but he did have a bit of an accent.

But even without an accent, I consider myself a full-fledged Southerner, though there are some SC saying that make me cringe. One is “mash the button.” You don’t mash the button — you mash potatoes — you push or press the button! Another is “carry” as in “I carried Mama to the store” and “fixins” as in “fried chicken and all the fixins” or all the usual side dishes. I don’t know why those bug me, but they do. ๐Ÿ™‚

Flashback Friday: Medical Memories

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is:

Were you prone to accidents and injuries when you were growing up? Did you ever break a bone? Knock out any teeth? Get stitches? Have you ever ridden in the back of an ambulance? Did you ever have surgery or spend any time in a hospital? How did your folks treat injuries and illnesses? With lots of TLC or by telling you to get a stiff upper lip? Was there a particular home remedy that your mom (or dad or whoever!) used or any “traditions” involving injuries or illnesses? What’s the worst injury (or illness) you had when you were growing up?

Thankfully I was fairly healthy as a child. I had the usual non-major illnesses and injuries: chicken pox, strep throat, skinned knees, etc., but thankfully no major illnesses or accidents, no broken bones. I had my tonsils removed when I was about six, but that was fairly common then. That was my only childhood hospitalization. I remember my beloved doctor carrying me to the operating room, being asleep but then waking up IN the operating room, but thankfully before they started doing anything, feeling uncomfortable afterward but enjoying staying in bed, reading comic books, and eating jello and ice cream.

I did have a few relatively minor injuries along the way. In first or second grade, a group of us were throwing rocks at each other — not maliciously — it was all in fun. I don’t know why we thought that would be fun. But I got hit in the head and started bleeding profusely. I do remember my mom coming and I remember going to the doctor — I don’t remember an ambulance or stitches. When I got back to school the teacher made us all write 100 times or so, “I will not throw rocks,” and I was indignant that I, as the injured party, had to suffer punishment, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t remember how old I was when my mom asked me to help take the side down on her friend’s playpen, and somehow my finger got stuck and cut into just below the nail. It must have gotten infected, because some time later we had to go to the doctor about it. While he was working on my finger, removing the nail, his nurse was between me and my handย  (which was stretched out on a board) asking me about my birthday. I was so aggravated with her! Who wants to talk about their birthday at a time like that! I realized later she was just trying to distract me from what the doctor was doing. Then another time, my brother dropped his toy gun on my foot — toy guns were made of heavy metal, not the lightweight stuff they use today — and I ended up having to get a toenail removed. Not fun.

Vicks VapoRub on forehead, cheeks, and chest was the remedy for a really bad cold. We lived in houses that had boxy gas stoves in the living room as the main source of heat, and my parents would put a coffee can full of water and a dollop of Vicks in it on the stove as kind of a room humidifier. Iodine was put on cuts, causing a burning sensation and leaving a red stain for a while. Calomine lotion was used for anything itchy, from bug bites to chicken pox, leaving us with pink spots from the medicine. The only really weird home remedy I remember was that if we had an earache, my dad would blow cigar smoke in our ears and then stuff them with cotton. I have no idea why — it sounds so bizarre. Maybe the warmth was supposed to be soothing? As an adult I was concerned that the smoke did long term damage and I was going to get cancer in my ears or head, but figured since I couldn’t do anything about it after the fact, I wouldn’t worry about until I needed to.

We never went for regular dentist checkups — my parents had neither the money for that nor the dental insurance. When I was in junior high, I had two abscessed teeth, on one either side of my head, and the dentist pulled one of them one week and the other one the next week. He said that when my wisdom teeth came in, the other teeth would move down into the empty space — and they did. That was my only dental experience until after I was married — and, of course, there was a LOT of dental work to be done then! I only had to have my bottom two wisdom teeth taken out when I was in my 30s. The oral surgeon keopt saying, “This is so much easier to do when you’re 16,” and I kept thinking, “Maybe, but I can’t help that now!”

Because my parents had several children and not much money, we only went to the doctor if something was really bad or had lasted a long time. Probably because of that, and the fact that sometimes waiting made the situation worse, I was prone to go to the doctor myself and take the kids to the doctor a little too often for several years, but I think I have evened out now.

Flashback Friday: Home Sweet Home

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The question for this week is about the home we grew up in:

Where did you live when you were growing up? In a house or an apartment? A mobile home or a duplex? Did your parents rent or own? Was it big or small? In a city, small town, or rural area? In the USA or another country? Did you have your own room or share with siblings? Did you have a say in how your room was painted/decorated? Did your folks update/redecorate periodically or was your house “stuck” in a certain decade? Did you have a yard? A swingset or other play areas? What was your neighborhood like? Were there lots of kids to play with? Did your family stay in one place or did you move? If so, how many times did you move by the time you graduated from high school? Did you like moving or long to stay in one place? Are your parents still in the home you grew up in (or at least the one you lived in when you graduated from high school) or did they move and you haven’t lived with them in their latest house? Does it feel like home? What were your favorite and least favorite things about your physical home? How similar or different is it to where you live now?

I’ve always loved the idea of the old family homestead, large enough for the whole brood, passed down through the generations, the house everyone comes home to.

We didn’t have that, however. We moved around quite a lot — every two years for a while. The only house I have any memory from my early childhood is my grandfather’s house. We lived with him for a while, then it seems we lived there by ourselves for a time, but I can’t remember the order of it all. I don’t remember how long we lived there. I don’t know if it was the house he shared with my grandmother or if he moved there after she passed away. I don’t really remember anything distinctive about the house itself except that it seems like it was a peachy color, and the bathroom connected my parent’s bedroom and my room. I do remember the address: if I am ever back in Corpus Christi, TX, I may drive by and see if it is still there.

But I do have some distinct memories from that house. Here are a few:

  • My brother was born there. My mom had visited the doctor that day and had been told she was not ready to deliver yet. She didn’t have contractions in front, but had horrible back pain. I was four, and I remember being in my bedroom while she was in the bathroom when she shrieked for my father to come. He came and picked her up and carried her into their room — and they wouldn’t let me in! (Probably a good thing!) I remember lying on my bed wondering what was going on when my grandfather came in to check on me. Everything happened too fast for them to get to a hospital, but they did go after everything settled down. I did get to go in and see my mom and new little brother before they left.
  • A couple of years later, my brother and I shared a bedroom with bunk beds. I had the top bunk, and the bottom of my bed wasn’t covered over, so my brother’s view from the lower bunk was of all the coils from the box springs of my bed (It’s amazing he didn’t get a finger stuck in there or something.) He often had very vivid dreams involving wild animals, so one night when he went to tell my parents that there was a snake in the box springs, they thought he was just dreaming. But he insisted, and they came to check — and there was a snake, by that time on my mattress near my head!!! Somehow they got our neighbor, Mrs. Beeson, over there to kill it: I remember her chopping its head off with an axe (after they somehow got it off the bed) and watching its mouth opening and closing and its body still slithering while disconnected from each other. Creepy! She said it was an egg snake (?) after eggs in the nest in my window (which I hadn’t noticed before) and it wouldn’t have hurt me. But it was still creepy.
  • I don’t remember Mrs. Beeson’s face at all. She looked like she could have come from the Little House on the Prairie TV show set: she always wore a long skirt, blouse, and bonnet when she worked outside, which was a lot. I stayed with her for a few days while my mom was in the hospital after my brother’s birth. I don’t think she had a family of her own (at least not that lived with or near her), but there always seemed to be children at her house. She had a woody area behind her house where there was an old cabinet with various utensils and pans and pans, etc., and we all played back there making mud pies and such.
  • I must have had an active imagination of my own, because I remember one night on my top bunk waking up and seeing a rounded shape right in front of me. Somehow I was convinced it was a headhunter, and if I just kept my eyes closed and pretended I was asleep, he wouldn’t bother me. So I tried, peeking every now and then to see if it was still there. I finally fell back asleep, and when I woke up, I saw that that rounded shape was the head of my teddy bear. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

So, even though I don’t remember the house itself, I have fond memories of our time there.

When I was in 9th or 10th grade, we lived in a small town with less than 200 people. There was no high school — we were bussed to the next town 10 miles away. I think there was one traffic light. Our house was “the house on the second hill.” The thing I loved about that house was that you could open windows on opposite sides of the house and get a lovely breeze through there.

When my mother left my father and we moved to Houston, we lived in a trailer for a few years. Then my mom and step-father had a house built in a new sub-division where they moved when I was in college and lived there ever since. My mom passed away almost five years ago, but my step-father still lives there. It is paid for now, and he wants to stay there until he passes on. Since I only lived there during breaks from college, I don’t have the feelings associated with the family home except that it was my mom’s house for so many years. I have fond memories from visits back there as well. What’s funny is that my three youngest sisters were very little when we moved there, so for them that is the old family homestead. Funny the different perspectives from the different age groups!

Flashback Friday: Friends

Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Who was your first friend? Did you have lots of friends when you were growing up or just one or two close friends? Share memories from your childhood friends. For women, were “mean girls” an issue when you were growing up? Or were you a “mean girl”?! How did your friends shape who you are today, for good or not-so-good? Do you still keep up with your childhood friends today?

As I was growing up, I usually had one close friend rather than a whole gang. I had a good-sized circle of people I was friends with, but I didn’t hang around with a group.

My earliest friends and playmates were my cousins. I have hazy memories of playing with my parents’ friends’ children when they all came over, but my earliest memory of a close personal friend was in third grade. I had gone to a Lutheran parochial school in first and second grade and transferred to a public school for third grade. Cindy was one of those girls who was popular, but not in a snobby way and not with the negative connotations popularity can have today. Everyone liked her because she was genuinely sweet and interested in other people, and as such, she introduced herself to me, and we became fast friends. I still have a bracelet she gave me for Christmas one year. For a few months my siblings and I stayed with my aunt and uncle in another state when my parents were having problems, and Cindy’s letters were the highlight of my time there. She invited me to revival services at her church, where for the first time I understood I needed to trust Christ personally as my Savior rather than just having a nebulous general belief in God. I made a profession of salvation then, though I struggled with assurance for years before finally being settled in my faith. But whether I actually believed at that point or later on, those years at that church did much to set me in the right direction. Unfortunately I ruined that friendship with jealousy: Cindy’s pastor’s daughter, with whom she was also close, transferred to our school, and instead of welcoming and befriending her, I was jealous of Cindy’s attention and sad that things were not the same. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So they pretty much dropped me, understandably, and I learned a hard, painful, but valuable lesson.

My closest friend for the next several years was Laura. I don’t remember how we met or got to know one another — we attended the same school for years and somehow must’ve crossed paths and continued on from there. We moved to another town when I was in 8th grade, and one of my best surprises was when Laura and her family showed up unexpectedly on our doorstep one day. They were on a trip and surprised both Laura and me by stopping in to see us for a few hours. We wrote, sent pictures, and kept up with each other through high school, but eventually the relationship just faded out over time.

The school system I went to in 8th through 10th grade was the one I’ve mentioned that was extremely cliquish. I had always been shy but had never had any problems making friends until that school. There were very distinct groups that rarely interacted with each other. I spent what seemed like months walking around at lunch time all alone and miserable. My mom had to practically push me out of the car in the mornings. Then one day Dawn and a neighbor of hers introduced themselves to me, and Dawn and I just clicked. Dawn’s parents ran a little convenience store that was close to my house, and they’d let me “hang out” with Dawn at the store and help her stock shelves. Her mom was one of those people who is so cheerful, she’s annoying. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was awful to be awakened after staying up late talking on a sleepover by her cheery, “Good morning, girls!” and whisking open the curtains to flood us with sunlight when she thought it was time for us to be up. Dawn and I were fast friends throughout the rest of high school and kept up with each other for a few years in college, but then our lives went different directions and the friendship faded away.

That high school was the only school I attended with “mean girls.” One of the groups was probably the closest thing that town had to a gang, and the leader was a seemingly always angry girl named Nadine. You never wanted to be caught alone in a hallway with her. I don’t think she ever hurt anyone physically, but she was very intimidating verbally and in the way she carried herself.

Between 10th and 11th grade we once again moved to another town, and the Lord provided miraculously for me to attend a Christian school. It was small enough that we were all general friends with everybody, but I didn’t have one really close girl friend there. That may have been because I started dating a guy. There are many reasons not to date exclusively in high school, and one of them is that, depending on the relationship, it can hinder developing friendships with other people and put you into an unnaturally close relationship sooner than you’re ready for it. That was the case with me, anyway.

Then in college, again, though I had a wide variety of friends and could usually easily find someone to attend things with, talk with, or pray with, I didn’t have any seriously close friends. Somehow the people I felt closest to didn’t really “need” me as a friend — they had all kinds of friends, many closer than I was. But I eventually met my life-long best friend, my husband. ๐Ÿ™‚

I think each of my friendships shaped me for the better. I hadn’t received instruction as a child in looking for the right kind of friends, but thankfully the Lord over-ruled and brought my way friends who generally wanted to do right, and generally we encouraged each other along the way. As I write that, though, I do remember being friends for a while with one girl in 11th grade who tended to be deceptive, and there was an instance or two of climbing out her bedroom window to go see people, but thankfully, for whatever reason, that friendship didn’t last long and nothing serious happened during it, so I am thankful the Lord nipped that in the bud.

Flashback Friday: Extended Family Memories


Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Tell about any grandparents, cousins, or other extended family that was special to you growing up. Did they live near you or some distance away? Do you have any particular childhood memories (good OR bad!) of times spent with your grandparents? With your cousins? Did you spend holidays with them? At whose house did you generally gather? Do you still keep up with cousins, aunts & uncles, etc.? Did your paternal relatives and maternal relatives know and get along with each other?

My mother’s mother passed away when I was about 4. I have a dim memory of talking with her once about her colostomy bag — she had cancer that spread throughout her lower region. My mom said that when I asked about it, she (my mom) was embarrassed and tried to divert me, but my grandmother just answered me very matter-of-factly (which is usually what most kids want.) I was very pleased to receive some of my grandmother’s things, like a autograph book she had during school days, after my mom passed away.

My mom’s father was tall, skinny, and had a distinctive laugh — his laugh is probably what I remember most about him. He loved to joke and tease. We lived in the same town, and even actually lived with him for a while during my childhood — my brother was born unexpectedly in his house (my mom had been told by her doctor that day that she would not deliver yet — but she did, and so fast they couldn’t get out the door.) We eventually moved to another town, and in later years when he remarried, whenever he and his wife drove up to our house to visit, he always brought a box of Dunkin’ Donuts. No matter when I got up in the morning while he was there, my grandfather and mom were already up in the kitchen, drinking coffee and talking. His second wife developed arteriosclerosis and deteriorated mentally, but he cared for her himself. One time when he was persuaded to leave her in something like an adult day care for a short while, when he came to pick her up, they had her strapped down. I don’t remember if she was trying to find him or what, but he never left her again. Though he was not what you would describe as warm or affectionate, I thought this was one of the greatest examples of sacrificial love I have ever known of. This wife passed away as well, and several years later he ended up living with my aunt, who was single, but she was at work all day and he wouldn’t take his medicines or eat right and finally had a series of small strokes. He recuperated in a hospital until Medicare would not pay any more and then had to transfer to a nursing home. Everyone was depressed about that for a while, but when he recovered well enough to leave, he decided to stay: He had made friends, had his meals and medicines taken care of, and found more to do than sit in front of the TV all day. He volunteered for a program to answer the phone as Santa to kids who called in to a special number. I can imagine he would have been great at that. I wonder how many kids associate his distinctive laugh with Santa. The last time I saw him was at a family reunion over twenty years ago — he passed away a year or two later, in his 80s.

My father’s father passed away before I was born. My father’s mother was the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago in summer memories: the “galloping Grandma” who would drive to see all her kids in TX, LA (Louisiana), and AL during the summer and took me with her a few times. She never remarried. She went back and forth between living in TX and LA. When she lived near us, I often went to spend the night with her, and one of my fondest memories is both of us staying up late reading. Sometimes I would go with her to visit her sister, Jewel, in another town. Jewel had one arm that was paralyzed but had a garden, and she and my grandmother loved cooking fresh vegetables. My Grandmother loved to crochet and whenever she was sitting still for long, she had her yarn and crochet hooks going. She could be a little sharp and critical sometimes, but overall I have fond memories of her.

I am fortunate to have cousins my age on both sides. Until I was 13, we lived in the same town as my mom’s sister and her family, with one girl cousin a year younger. The father’s side of this cousin’s family was somewhat well-to-do, and this cousin got things like a Barbie Dream House, Susie Homemaker oven (with which you could make REAL cakes!), and her own TV — all things that were beyond my realm, so, yes, I was a little jealous. One time when I went to church with their family, I didn’t have any money to put in, so I wrote something on a piece of paper — I don’t remember if it was an “IOU” or what — but my cousin’s other grandmother took it out. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But overall my cousin and I got along well. Her mom was the aunt for whom I am named.

I only saw my Louisiana cousins occasionally, maybe once or twice a year, but there were three girls in that family, one my age, one a year older, and one a year younger — and all of our birthdays were in August. I think I’ve told before of one birthday we celebrated all together. At their place we road bikes all over creation, and their mom had a distinctive way of whistling so that we could hear her from a pretty good distance away and know it was time to come home.

I hear about my TX cousin from her mom occasionally, but the LA side of the family just doesn’t keep in touch any more since the dad, my father’s brother,and my own father passed away. I would guess my aunt probably remarried, but it would be nice to hear how they are all doing and where they are these days. Though there were several other cousins that I saw less often, those four were the ones I knew best and interacted with the most, andย  some of my best childhood memories were with my cousins, who were some of my closest friends.

Flashback Friday: Siblings


Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. Sheโ€™ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Do you have siblings? (If not, keep reading – I’ll get to you.) How many and are they boys or girls? Where do you fall in the birth order? How did you view your “spot” in the family compared with the others? If you are the oldest, did you resent the things the youngest got to do that you didn’t? If the youngest, what did you want to do like the older ones? And if you are more of a middle child, how did that impact you? How do you think your birth order shaped your personality? Did you and your siblings like each other growing up or did you fight all the time? Are you close now? Or at least friends with each other?! What memories stand out about you and your siblings?

If you are an only child, how did you like that? Were you glad to have all the attention or did you want to have a brother or sister? What advantages were there to being an only child? What disadvantages? Which side of the fence is greener?!

For everyone, did your sibling experiences (or lack thereof!) affect your decision to have kids or to have a certain number?

I am the oldest of six. The youngest was born when I was 17, and the first four of us are each 4 years apart, so we’re pretty spread out. I have one brother, next in age to me, and the rest are sisters. The youngest is actually my half-sister, but I rarely think of her that way — she is as much my sister as the others.

My parents were divorced when I was 15, and my brother spent most of his time with my dad, so with a big gap between me and my younger sisters, I felt more like an assistant mom than an older sister. We loved each other, but we didn’t have the close “BFF” relationship of many sisters closer in age (thus making it hard sometimes to choose birthday cards — most of them seem to come from that angle.) Once after marriage when my husband and I came home to visit, I was astonished that my then teen-age sisters picked me up, and they were all nearly grown, tall, confidant, beautiful. I felt, “I don’t even know these people!” But it has been fun getting to know them on an adult level.ย  When my mother was alive, we kept up with each other mostly through her. Since she passed away and with the rise of texting and Facebook, we keep up with each other directly more than ever before. I always enjoy when we get together.

I enjoyed being the oldest except for being the “built-in baby-sitter.” When my mother and step-father got together, they were understandably like newlyweds, going “out” together often. Plus we moved to Houston during the summer, and while they found jobs during the day time, I was home with the kids. I had to pretty much beg and plead to go anywhere or do anything. In retrospect, with that being a vulnerable time in my life, it was probably best that I wasn’t free to roam like other teen-agers: I might have ended up in a lot of trouble. I don’t really envy so much that my younger sisters had more freedom and less discipline, because I think the discipline was good for me, but I think I just wished at some point that my parents had understood how I felt.

But I did enjoy having special privileges that came with being the oldest, getting to do various things first, etc. Our home in Houston had two bedrooms besides the master, one very small and one very large. I got the small bedroom to myself and bunk beds were put in the larger room for my sisters. I loved having my own quiet private space! It became a tradition after I moved out that the oldest sister moved into that room, and as each one moved out, the next oldest sister moved into it.

I think I am your typical oldest child: responsible, dependable, serious (mostly), eager to please, preferring to avoid trouble, wanting to be “successful.” Some sources say that firstborns are “natural” leaders, and I have never felt like a leader. I’ve always preferred others to lead and I’d be a good helper. I also have tried very hard not to be a bossy know-it-all to my siblings.

Sadly, I have not heard from my brother in a long time. My mom had been paying for his cell phone, and after she passed away my step-father continued doing so until he just couldn’t any more. My brother was having financial problems and was not able to get his own phone. I assume he is at the same address — the Christmas card and letter I sent wasn’t returned to me — but I am not really sure how he is doing.

Here we all are at my wedding:

And at my mom’s house after her funeral almost five years ago, the last time we were all together:

I had never set a number on how many kids I wanted to have, but I was pretty sure I did not want a very large family. It seems to me that people who do the best with a lot of children are somewhat laid back in personality. There are a lot of pressures and a lot to keep up with the more children you have, and I have seen some people handle it all very admirably, and I know that if the Lord allowed that for us, He’d provide the grace (and finances!) to deal with it all. But I think my three were just the right number for me. Sometimes I do wish we’d had a fourth, and it had been a girl — but nowadays I am content to wait for grandchildren. ๐Ÿ˜€