Its been another good week with some thought-provoking posts to ponder:
Open Roof Hospitality. Very convicting to me. If I had been the lady of the house whose roof was being torn up so people could bring their paralytic friend to Jesus, my first emotion would not have been gratitude and joy, I’m sure.
Six Observations About Speaking to Pastors Right Before They Preach. Although these are especially true for pastors for obvious reasons, many of them hold true for anyone. Once when my husband was the head usher in a very tightly packed church and was trying to find seats for people right before the service, someone who was also a neighbor chose that moment to tell him that he thought the lawn mower that we often let him borrow had been stolen. Hard to concentrate on anything in the service after that. 🙂
Some years ago I read a book someone loaned to me about a Christian man in a Communist country. In his culture, respect for elders was taken to extremes. His and his wife’s lives were severely impacted by the mercurial demands of his mother, but they never felt they should deal with it in any way except to try to please her. It was particularly hard when they all had to live together for a time. In the end he said the Lord used it to smooth some of his rough edges, like a pebble that has been worn round and smooth by being tossed and bumped around in a stream. I wish I could remember the book title or author’s name, because I would love to revisit this book. (By the way, I am not suggesting that mothers-in-law should act that way or that adult children shouldn’t sometimes have some frank discussions with their parents, but this was how this man felt led in his time and culture.)
Around that same time, there was a lady at the church I was attending who, I am sad to say, really rubbed me the wrong way. Unfortunately, that says more about me than it does about her. She was not mean or unkind. I won’t go into the details about what I found so irritating, but I had just about decided that the best way to keep positive thoughts about her and to keep peace in my heart towards her was just to avoid her as much as possible. Then one January, our ladies’ group at church drew names for “secret pals” from others in the group: our primary duty to our secret pal was to pray for her, but we were also encouraged to send notes and small gifts through the year. Guess whose name I drew. Yes, that particular lady. I was tempted to put her name back and draw another, but I decided that was petty, and this woman was one whom I was supposed to especially pray for that year. And praying for her did help. I began to understand a little of why she acted the way she did (for instance, she sometimes seemed to come across as a know-it-all. You almost couldn’t bring up any subject without getting her input and suggested actions. But she was a very intelligent woman, and in her mind she was helping, not “showing off.”)
I don’t remember exactly when those two incidents happened in relation to each other, but in my mind I connected them, and began to think of my “secret pal” as a sandpaper Christian, one designed to smooth off some of my jagged edges.
Though I have moved away and lost touch with that particular lady, it seems like I almost always have one or two sandpaper acquaintances in my life. Again, that is a sad commentary on me more than a reflection on them. I admit sometimes I wonder who is sandpaper to them, but God reminds me that’s His business, and He is working with each of His children to help them grow more Christlike.
I am often discouraged by my lack of love and my abundance of irritation towards people, and it is a frequent matter of prayer. In a quote I saved but can’t find now from a sermon by David Martyn Lloyd-Jones from I John, he makes a distinction between liking and loving and says we are to love people we might not necessarily like, and that helped some. Biblical love, after all, is not just a warm fuzzy feeling. Verses about “forbearing one another in love” help, as does the reminder that God loves them in their imperfections as much as He loves me in mine. Sometimes I have felt that tolerating or forbearing was the best I could do, but God calls me to more. They are His dear children for whom He died, and He wants me to love them as much as I love myself, and even more – as He loves me. A tall order that can only be accomplished by meditating on His great love.
I just started reading C. S. Lewis’s Weight of Glory recently, and one section in the first essay of the same title really helped along these lines. After discussing what our future glorification in heaven means, he writes:
“It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to …remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”
I would disagree with what I think he is saying about the sacrament – I believe it is symbolic and representative and doesn’t contain any glory in itself. It is a wafer, not Christ’s actual body, meant to put us in mind of His body torn for us. But Christ does indwell a fellow child of God.
No mere mortals. No ordinary people. Future glorified saints. Fellow citizens of the household of God. Sons and daughters of the King. These are the ones with whom we have to do. May we treat them accordingly. And may we treat those who are not yet in the family of God as if we are eager for them to be.
Beneath the cross of Jesus
His family is my own—
Once strangers chasing selfish dreams,
Now one through grace alone.
How could I now dishonor
The ones that You have loved?
Beneath the cross of Jesus
See the children called by God.
~ Keith and Kristen Getty
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40
Ahn Ei Sook is not a household name among most Christians today (nor is her married name, Esther Ahn Kim), but her testimony in her autobiography, If I Perish, is soul-stirring. She was a young Korean Christian schoolteacher in the 1930s when Korea was under Japanese rule. The Japanese had set up shrines throughout the country, even in Christian churches and schools, and ordered people to bow down and worship at them. In Ahn’s school, she successfully avoided having to go to the shrine for many days, but finally the day came when the principal of the school sought her out and insisted she come to the shrine, lest the Japanese close their school because of her refusal. Miss Ahn went to the shrine, but did not bow down when everyone else did. She was taken to the office of the chief of the district and interrogated, but when he received a phone call and stepped out of the room, she fled.
She and her mother ended up hiding out in a quiet village while her sister brought them food. They tried to be inconspicuous, yet other Christians found them out and came to visit under the cover of darkness. Some of these were living in caves or mountains. Miss Ahn and her mother shared their food with them and enjoyed their fellowship.
One day a man called Elder Park came and told Miss Ahn God had told him to come and find her and go with her to warn the Japanese officials of God’s judgment to come if they did not repent. She initially shrank from this, but finally agreed to go. They had many disagreements about exactly how to accomplish this, and, indeed, some of what they did seems strange to us, even remembering that the times, culture, and circumstances were different. For instance, she felt she should get the proper paperwork; he felt he did not need such “man-made things,” for God was his refuge. He felt that God would blind the eyes of the officials….and that is exactly what happened. When the officials came on the train to see everyone’s paperwork, they walked right by him as if they did not see him.
God gave them a good audience with a few sympathetic Japanese officials. Yet in another disagreement, Elder Park felt they should go to the Japanese Diet and drop a warning from the balcony. This would be illegal: he felt then there would be an arrest and a hearing. Miss Ahn felt that deliberately breaking the law was the wrong way to go about it, but felt she must go with him. They were, of course, arrested and imprisoned. After some days she was released to go home, yet under guard. Some weeks later she was arrested along with several other pastors and Christian leaders and imprisoned for six years.
The majority of the rest of the book is about her prison experiences, how the Lord sustained her and used her. I want to share just one incident that shows real agape love.
A woman had been brought to the prison who was thought to be insane. She had killed her husband and cut him up into pieces. This woman would moan and curse in her cell, was known for biting, and, because she kept pounding the door, she was handcuffed 24 hours a day. Miss Ahn felt that the Lord would have her reach out to this woman. She requested that she be brought to her cell. The woman was disheveled and filthy. When she fell asleep, Miss Ahn, concerned about her being cold, took the woman’s bare feet, which were covered with excrement, into her own bosom and held them against her chest to keep them warm. Bit by bit, every day, with acts of kindness and words of love, the Lord enabled her to break through to this woman, who became a believer. The jailers were astounded at the change in her. Miss Ahn was able to disciple her, and she faced her execution in peace.
Many people who knew Miss Ahn commented on her weakness; she herself referred to being weak many times. Yet God uses “the weak things of the world” to show His power (I Corinthians 1:27, II Corinthians 12:9-10). One thing that encouraged me was that she struggled often with her feelings: she would be full of faith at one time, even feeling adventurous about what she was facing. But another time she would feel fearful. This encouraged me because it showed just how human she was. Even feeling fearful, though, she knew she must obey, and relied on the Lord for strength.
When the Japanese surrendered at the end of World War II, the Christians in the prison were released. Of the thirty-four who had entered that prison, only fourteen survived.
The Russian Communists took over then, and they were not much better than the Japanese: in some ways they were a great deal worse. The Lord opened a way for her to go to South Korea and eventually to America. She married Kim Dong Myung and took the name Esther, so her book was written under the name Esther Ahn Kim.
I hope you’ll read more of her story.
(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)
It’s been a while since I’ve had time to share links to posts I found interesting, so this will be a bit longer than usual, but I hope you find something here of interest:
Wonderful Hope by Bobbi’s dad, who is facing a terminal diagnosis at the same time his wife is undergoing cancer treatments.
Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Flawed. Courtship vs. dating is a hot button debate and I am a bit hesitant to just post the link without discussing it further. I may come back and do so at some point. I may not agree with every little thing but overall he made some excellent points. I did read the book in question before my kids got to that age and pulled some principles from it but did not follow it exactly. We did feel dating – at a certain age and under certain guidelines – was a good way to get to know someone before taking the relationship further but we did want to avoid continued serious relationships and breakups one after another: we didn’t feel the latter was good emotionally nor good training for marriage.
Why Prison Isn’t Restful. We need to be careful about throwaway quips on topics we really know nothing about.
(I was going to write something about Valentine’s Day, and in going through some old posts on the subject found this one, which says all the same things I’d want to say this year, so I’ll repost it. 🙂 I’m combining it with another post in which I had some Valentine links.)
Valentine’s Scrooges. 🙂 That was the only term I could come up with for those whose comments I have seen here and there who despise Valentine’s Day. And I had to add the little smiley so it wouldn’t sound like I was ranting. 🙂
I don’t mind Valentine’s indifference… didn’t grow up celebrating it much, hadn’t thought about it, not a big deal…that’s understandable. But why would anyone hate it, and not just hate it in their own hearts, but feel compelled to rain on everyone else’s parade by forcibly and publicly saying so?
“It’s too commercial.” Well, sure, but like Christmas, you can be as commercial or uncommercial as you want in your own personal celebration. But don’t look down on store-bought cards or restaurant rather than home-made goodies. Not everyone has the time or confidence or bent to “make” things.
“I don’t need a man-made holiday to show my wife I love her.” Well, good for you. I’m sure she appreciates that. ( 🙂 = not ranting!)
“We should show love every day.” True. (This is what I’ve heard most this year.) We should also give thanks every day, but it’s helpful to have a day focused on it at Thanksgiving. We should remember and be glad for the Resurrection at least every Sunday, but it’s wonderful to especially commemorate it at Easter. We should be thankful for our friends and loved ones every day, but it’s nice to especially let them know on their birthdays or anniversaries. Those special, focused celebrations can remind us of what we should be thinking and feeling every day and spur us on. And that’s how I look at Valentine’s Day. I love my dear ones all the time, but it’s fun on this special day to celebrate love even more.
By “celebrate,” I don’t necessarily mean go all out. We’ve always exchanged cards. Some years ago I got some heart-shaped cupcake pans, and Valentine cupcakes became a tradition.
Most years that’s all we have done, with maybe some candy for the kids. My husband has frequently brought me candy and flowers on Valentine’s Day. One year I did a Valentine scavenger hunt for the kids, with little clues on half-hearts — they had to find the other half to get their treat. They loved that and wanted to do it again the next year, but it was too hard to keep coming up with clues. Another year I was inspired to make a garland out of heart doilies, but I don’t know what happened to it. I have a heart-shaped wreath by the front door. Nothing major or expensive — just little tokens of the day. We don’t go out to eat on that day — too crowded. I think I have usually tried to make a special meal that day, but it is only in the last few years I’ve tried to make a Valentine-themed meal like Crescent Heart-Topped Lasagna Casserole
(Though the boys did tease that the red sauce on the heart meat loaves looked too anatomically correct 🙄 :)). And I’m inclined to play some of my favorite sappy love songs while working in the kitchen that day (usually Chanson d’amour by The King’s Singers). We’ve always celebrated it as a family rather than leaving the kids with sitters while we go off for a romantic time (nothing wrong with doing that sometimes — we do on anniversaries).
An equally disturbing attitude regarding Valentine’s Day was this comment I saw somewhere: “He better get me flowers, or else!” That’s not particularly loveable, either. Valentine’s is about showing love, not sitting back with arms folded, foot tapping, seeing if he is going to “measure up.” I heard an excellent talk some years ago by Gregg Harris: I don’t remember what the overall talk was about, but what stuck with me was the encouragement not to use anniversaries and special occasions as a “test,” but rather to help him to remember (rather than getting mad at him for forgetting) and discussing whether and how you’d both like to commemorate. A Different Approach to Valentine’s Day explores that further.
All in all, in the grand scheme of life and eternity, it doesn’t matter if you celebrate a particular day or not. “One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it” (Romans 14:5-6a). But as for me and my house, we enjoy celebrating holidays. Well, maybe not Groundhog’s Day, President’s Day, etc. 🙂 But Valentine’s Day is one of my favorites.
Here are some of my favorite Valentine’s-flavored links, quotes, etc. – not all of them are specifically Valentiney, but they can be applied. 🙂
A splendid team, my wife and I:
She washes dishes, and I dry.
I sometimes pass her back a dish
To give another cleansing swish.
She sometimes holds up to the light
A glass I haven’t dried just right.
But mostly there is no complaint,
Or it is courteous and faint,
For I would never care to see
The washing job consigned to me,
And though the things I dry still drip,
She keeps me for companionship.
From Odgen Nash:
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it.
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
From Jane Eyre: “To be together is for us to be at once as free as solitude, as gay as in company. We talk, I believe, all day long: to talk to each other is but a more animated and an audible thinking.”
“A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendship, all the enjoyments of sense and reason, and, indeed, all the sweets of life.” –Joseph Addison.
“Marriage with a good woman is a harbour in the tempest of life; with a bad woman, it is a tempest in the harbour.” — J.P. Senn
From A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens: “”You anticipate what I would say, though you cannot know how earnestly I say it, how earnestly I feel it, without knowing my secret heart, and the hopes and fears and anxieties with which it has long been laden. Dear Doctor Manette, I love your daughter fondly, dearly, disinterestedly, devotedly. If ever there were love in the world, I love her. . . .”
Valentine’s Scrooges. 🙂 That was the only term I could come up with for those whose comments I have seen here and there who hate and despise Valentine’s Day. And I had to add the little smiley so it wouldn’t sound like I was ranting. 🙂
I don’t mind Valentine’s indifference… didn’t grow up celebrating it much, hadn’t thought about it, not a big deal…that’s understandable. But why would anyone hate it, and not just hate it in their own hearts, but feel compelled to rain on everyone else’s parade by forcibly and publicly saying so?
“It’s too commercial.” Well, sure, but like Christmas, you can be as commercial or uncommercial as you want in your own personal celebration. But don’t look down on store-bought cards or restaurant rather than home-made goodies. Not everyone has the time or confidence or bent to “make” things.
“I don’t need a man-made holiday to show my wife I love her.” Well, good for you. I’m sure she appreciates that. ( 🙂 = not ranting!)
“We should show love every day.” True. We should also give thanks every day, but it’s helpful to have a day focused on it at Thanksgiving. We should remember and be glad for the Resurrection at least every Sunday, but it’s wonderful to especially commemorate it at Easter. We should be thankful for our friends and loved ones every day, but it’s nice to especially let them know on their birthdays or anniversaries. Those special, focused celebrations can remind us of what we should be thinking and feeling every day and spur us on. And that’s how I look at Valentine’s Day. I love my dear ones all the time, but it’s fun on this special day to celebrate love even more.
By “celebrate,” I don’t necessarily mean go all out. We’ve always exchanged cards. Some years ago I got some heart-shaped cupcake pans, and Valentine cupcakes became a tradition. Most years that’s all we have done, with maybe some candy for the kids. My husband has frequently brought me candy and flowers on Valentine’s Day. One year I did a Valentine scavenger hunt for the kids, with little clues on half-hearts — they had to find the other half to get their treat. They loved that and wanted to do it again the next year, but it was too hard to keep coming up with clues. Another year I was inspired to make a garland out of heart doilies, but I don’t know what happened to it. I have a heart-shaped wreath by the front door. Nothing major or expensive — just little tokens of the day. We don’t go out to eat on that day — can’t stand the crowdedness. I think I have usually tried to make a special meal that day, but it is only in the last few years I’ve tried to make a Valentine-themed meal like Crescent Heart-Topped Lasagna Casserole or Li’l Cheddar Meat Loaves shaped like hearts (though the boys did tease that the red sauce on the heart meat loaves looked like blood 🙄 🙂 ). And I’m inclined to play some of my favorite sappy love songs while working in the kitchen that day. We’ve always celebrated it as a family rather than leaving the kids with sitters while we go off for a romantic time (nothing wrong with doing that sometimes — we do on anniversaries).
An equally disturbing attitude regarding Valentine’s Day was this comment I saw somewhere: “He better get me flowers, or else!” That’s not particularly loveable, either. Valentine’s is about showing love, not sitting back with arms folded, foot tapping, seeing if he is going to “measure up.” I heard an excellent talk some years ago by Gregg Harris: I don’t remember what the overall talk was about, but what stuck with me was the encouragement not to use anniversaries and special occasions as a “test,” but rather to help him to remember (rather than getting mad at him for forgetting) and discussing whether and how you’d both like to commemorate. A Different Approach to Valentine’s Day explores that further.
All in all, in the grand scheme of life and eternity, it doesn’t matter if you celebrate a particular day or not. “One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it” (Romans 14:5-6a). But as for me and my house, we enjoy celebrating holidays. Well, maybe not Groundhogs Day, President’s Day, etc. 🙂 But Valentine’s Day is one of my favorites.
And so I wish all of my bloggy friends a very Happy Valentine’s Day!
Stray Thoughts 