Book Review: Things Left Unspoken

Things Left unspokenOne of the unexpected blessings of blogging about books is that every now and then I hear from an author. Eva Marie Everson commented on my earlier review of one of the Potluck Club books and e-mailed me a while back to offer to send me a copy of her new book if  I would like to review it. Of course I jumped at the chance!

In Things Left Unspoken by Eva Marie Everson, Jo-Lynn Hunter has come home to Cottonwood, Georgia, for the funeral of her great-uncle Jim, who had been like a grandfather to her. She discovers while there that a company wants to revitalize the town, “bringing it back to its former glory,” renovating or replacing old buildings, bringing in new businesses, etc., and they want to use Aunt Stella’s house as a museum.  Unhappy in her marriage and on indefinite leave from her job as an interior decorator, Jo-Lynn accepts her great-aunt’s invitation to stay and renovate her home. But as she digs into the work, she begins to uncover clues to more than one old family secret, and sightings of strange men leaving the barn at night and increasingly serious acts of vandalism indicate that someone wants those secrets to remain unknown.

Some parts of Aunt Stella’s story are told in a series of flashbacks, so the reader is in on it early on, but the rest is uncovered in Jo-Lynn’s research along the way. J0-Lynn has to wrestle with the state of her marriage and the consequences of her agreement with her husband not to have children as well as the realization that Uncle Jim might not have been the kind of man she thought he was.

This book took me back to my younger days with my great-Aunt Jewel. I was not as close to her as Jo-Lynn is with Stella, but the setting, the relationships, the vivid immersion into old Southern culture was much the same and brought back warm memories. As a reader I liked being in on the one secret, wondering how or if it would come to light, while being in on Jo-Lynn’s other discoveries along the way. I really liked how the book ended, which was a little different from where I thought it was going.

As a Christian, my only quibble is with Jo-Lynn’s thoughts about her relationship with God. When she says she knows God personally and has gone to church all her life, on first reading it sounded to me like she was basing her relationship with God on her church attendance rather than on faith. But looking back over that section again, I can see that the church attendance was part of her life of faith and not necessarily the basis of it. In the parts of the South I have lived in, people are prone to believe they are Christians because of such things rather than having a personal relationship with God based on faith, so I might be more sensitive to that than other readers. I don’t think every book of Christian fiction necessarily has to spell out the full plan of salvation, but I do like for any mention of it to be crystal clear.

Eva Marie’s own Southern heritage gives the book its authentic ring, and while the story is not from her own family, it is based on an old home of her great-grandparents. The theme of renovation touches many levels. I enjoyed the story very much.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of books.)

Wise vs. Foolish Women

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In the book Becoming God’s True Woman, Nancy Leigh DeMoss has a chapter on discretion which includes a study of the foolish woman in Proverbs 7. That triggered a further (though not exhaustive) study. Here are some of her characteristics (sentences within quotes are Miss DeMoss’s unless otherwise noted):

  • She uses flattering words (also translated “smooth” or “seductive” in other versions), v. 5, 21.
  • She is in the wrong place at the wrong time by choice; she goes to a place where it is easier to stray, vv 12-15.
  • She dresses like a prostitute, v. 10.
  • “She is religious; she tries to spiritualize her sensuality and immorality with talk about sacrifices and offerings,” v. 14.
  • “She is not satisfied with the mate God has provided…Rather than looking to God to fulfill the deepest needs and longings of her heart, she focuses on what she does not have and looks to others to meet those needs. Rather than pouring her love, attention, and devotion upon her husband, she invests her heart, energy, and efforts in another man,” vv. 18-20.
  • She is subtil or wily of heart, “crafty in her intent” (“the inward attitude that produces the outward manifestation”), v. 10.
  • She is loud, stubborn, an impudent, vv. 10-13. “She does not exercise restraint or self-control…She is headstrong and defiant against God’s law and against the obligations of morality.”
  • She is a gadabout, not content at home, v. 11 (see also I Timothy 5:13),
  • She is aggressive in her relationship to men, v. 13-15.
  • She is “consumed with physical, temporal values rather than that which is enduring,” v. 16-18.
  • “She is indiscreet — she talks freely about intimate subjects that should be reserved for conversation with her husband,” vv. 16-18.
  • She “does not understand the nature of true love. True love is giving, not getting…She is a taker rather than a giver. She seeks immediate gratification….She fails to think about the long-term consequences of her choices.”
  • She indulges in what she thinks is secret sin while her husband is away, forgetting that God sees.
  • Though others are responsible for their own sins, she uses her influence to bring them down rather than building them up, vv. 21-27.

Miss DeMoss points out that even though we may not consider ourselves to be full-blown foolish women, we need to be on guard against subtle foolish characteristics creeping into our lives.

By contrast, the wise woman:

Another vivid contrast between the wise and foolish woman is in Proverbs 9, where, interestingly, they start out with the exact same invitation.

Citizens, do not be alarmed…

…if you see these beings skulking around your neighborhood.

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It’s just my son and his friends with their Airsoft guns. Somehow they derive great fun from shooting each other with plastic pellets. (Not my idea of fun, but they like it.)

Actually, one time they were playing in an undeveloped part of a friend’s apartments, and a lady who saw them called the police. Tip: The orange tips on the end indicate toy guns.

Jesse had a few friends over who brought all their Airsoft guns, and we took them to Jason and Mittu’s house last night because they have a back yard perfect for that kind of thing. Mittu made munchies, Jeremy made homemade pizza, I brought another birthday cake, and we all had a good time. Then we came home and the boys played video games til the wee hours. Egg sandwiches and doughnuts this morning, more video games and more shooting.

Teen-age birthday get-togethers are much different from children’s! Different, but fun.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. Meeting author Beverly Lewis! She came to a nearby Christian bookstore for a book signing, but spoke to the crowd for a few minutes about her new release, The Missing, and answered questions from the crowd. I mentioned a while back that I had gone to some of these book signings to hear what the authors had to say, but rarely worked up the courage to actually meet them, and was surprised when one of the authors I mentioned plus a few others I had read “dropped in” on that post to encourage readers to stop by their tables. So…this time I did. Mittu went with me (another enjoyable aspect!) and I had told her that I wasn’t sure what to say, so just before we got to Beverly, Mittu said, “Do you know what you’re going to say yet?” I said, “Nope!” But Beverly was very amiable and easy to talk to.

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I don’t know why I am looking like I just ate something sour there — someone who knows me, please tell me I don’t wear that expression often!!!

2. Our church’s ladies’ meeting Monday night. I had thought about making this a separate blog post and probably should have. On the way there I was wrestling with anxiety over a certain issue, and the verse kept coming to mind, “Your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things” (Matthew 6:32b). That was a great comfort. Then our speaker told about an opportunity she had to minister in the Philippines this past summer in a Bible Institute in the music department. As the Lord led and provided every step of the way for her to go, she said the verse that kept coming back to her was Psalm 116:7: “Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee.” That blessed me. Then just hearing how the Lord used her stirred me up again for the ministries He has given me, even though mine are different from hers.

3. Jesse’s 16 birthday

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…..which included eating out for his birthday dinner at Red Lobster.

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Up until this year he would never have chosen seafood, but somehow he discovered he liked salmon. I like their popcorn shrimp, myself, and their baked potatoes are some of the best ever.

And I really appreciated that they were very accommodating to my mother-in-law. We’ve never had a really negative experience at a restaurant with her, but these folks were just especially accomodating, helpful and friendly. This reminds me I meant to write a note to them.

4. Discovering a forgotten gift card while cleaning out my desk.

5. Working in my craft room. I hadn’t done much in there since the initial setting up of furniture, but I got some time this week to start sorting and organizing stuff. It’s fun rediscovering what I have and getting it in order. I’m itching to get back in there.

Happy Friday!

Thoughts from the toy store

Since my youngest just turned 16 and isn’t into “toys” so much these days, I don’t go to Toys Are Them much any more. But I went there this week looking for a couple of things on the birthday list (video games) they have there. That triggered several stray thoughts, some nostalgic.

  • One of my all-time favorite comic strips was one from “For Better or Worse” in which the oldest boy had a friend come to visit, and the friend picked up the boy’s teddy bear and made a comment about it. The boy said something like, “That old thing?” and tossed it aside. Then after his friend left, the boy picked up his teddy bear and hugged it. That just perfectly encapsulated the sometimes boy/sometimes becoming a man aspect of boys growing up.
  • A few years ago I was going through my youngest son’s room trying to clear some of the clutter and get rid of things he no longer played with. He had a big basket full of stuffed animals, and he had a friend over at the time, so I thought that might be a good time to go through the animals — with his friend there he might be more likely to think of them as “childish” and get rid of them. But as we went through them one by one, his friend, very much an all-boy, rough and tumble type, kept saying, “No, you can’t get rid of that! That’s so cute!”
  • I don’t know if all of the Toys Are Them stores are like this, but with ours you have to go down the whole length of the store and then through the seasonal stuff to get to the main part of the store. Hate that. Especially when what I want is near the entrance, but I’ve got to go all over the place to get to it.
  • When my kids were little they thought of the toy store almost like an amusement park. It was fun just looking through things and going to all the different departments.
  • I generally avoid going there on Saturdays when it is crowded and noisy. Weekday mornings are ideal.
  • I miss Little Tykes and Fisher Price. I get wistful just walking by their aisles.
  • The things our kids played with long after other toys were laid aside were Legos, Transformers (even before the current revival due to the movies), and Nerf guns. They had a Nerf bow and arrow set they played with for years. I looked at Nerf stuff that day at the store, but I think interest in them has been replaced by paintball and airsoft guns. I almost got a little wistful walking by the Lego stuff. One Jesse wanted but never got was a big Star Wars ship. I looked at it yesterday and it was $129. Cough, cough, cough. Much as we loved Legos, I just never could justify that amount.
  • Must everything be branded? I didn’t mind buying some things with their favorite characters on them when they were little, but good grief. Everything has current popular TV characters or stars on it.  Years ago a friend decorated her daughter’s room all in the current Disney film stuff, and I thought, “What are you going to do when the next film comes out?”
  • We use “wish lists.” A family that I admired and respected did that, and I thought it was a good idea. I love to give what people want and would like. The kids were made to understand they wouldn’t get everything on the list and they might get some things not on the list, but the list was a general guideline. I used to be able to stray off the list with some good guesses when they were younger, but not so much these days. Part of that is due to the more technological stuff they’re into now, part of it is that the stuff they’re interested in now is more expensive, so I am less likely to take a chance on it.
  • My mom loved to give as well — I am sure that was her “love language,” though I don’t know if I would say it is mine. One of the most memorable gifts we received from her for the kids was a heap of Little People stuff — the old fashioned kind before they started making the squatty-bodied ones to avoid little kids choking on them. When Mom had asked me for ideas, I mentioned maybe one of the sets for the boys as a group — a Little People Farm, Little People Garage, Little People Main Street, etc. But she got one set for each boy instead of one for all of them to share, and then got a bunch of sets of just the people, which my sister Shelly wrapped individually as stocking stuffers. That was fun. My husband said we needed a whole room just for the Little People.

I know that  “putting away childish things” is a part of growing up, and I am enjoying the young men our boys are becoming, but I have to admit I do miss buying toys. And the little girls’ aisles — I only got to go through those when my guys were going to a birthday party or when my nieces were small. That is one aspect of having grandchildren that I am going to love….someday….though not the most important aspect, of course. Meanwhile, I’ll just wax a little wistful in the toy store.

Happy Birthday to Jesse!

Jesse turns 16 today!!

Jesse was our little “surprise,” but, once we got used to the idea, a pleasant one. I can’t imagine our family without him.

He was 12 lbs when he was born. He was born in a women’s hospital, which usually only had newborn babies around, and someone from the hospital had to go out and buy diapers because the newborn ones wouldn’t fit.

Expecting Jesse

Newborn Jesse

We knew he was big, but he surprised us all! I don’t know why — no gestational diabetes, and that pregnancy I had the most moderate weight gain of the three. And now he’s the skinniest of the bunch.

He’s always been a pretty cheerful guy, easy to get along with, quick to bounce back, makes friends easily, can talk with about anyone, and a pretty good worker once he gets going.
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Jesse in park 2

He likes to get in weird positions. I call these “pretzael mode” and “vulture mode.”

Jesse in pretzel mode

Doing Homework

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Happy Birthday, Jesse!

May you always be cheerful, helpful, kind, loving, interested in others, and may you always love the Lord with all your heart and walk closely with Him.

Wednesday Random Dozen Meme


Hosted by Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee.

1. Which is worse: a long, boring meeting or standing in a return/exchange line after Christmas?

Standing in line to return something. I’d rather sit than stand, for one thing, and I am always a bit nervous they’re going to give me a hard time about my return, though that doesn’t usually happen.

2. Except for maybe Rosie O’Donnell or Ann Coulter, nobody likes confrontation, yet we all have to deal with it. When you feel cornered and defensive, do you “bite back” or become passive aggressive?

I usually just try to get away, and then stew about it inwardly for a long time (not healthy, I know).

3. Do you know anything about your genealogical background? (What country, culture, ties to prominent historical figures, or other stuff.)

We’re a hodgepodge — English, German, I think some Scottish or Irish, and supposedly a little bit of Cherokee. I don’t know much of anything beyond my grandfather’s parents on my mom’s side, and just back to my grandparents on all the other sides.

4. What is the quickest way a person can endear him/herself to you?

Unexpectedly doing something thoughtful or kind or jumping in to help.

5. Cake, pie, cookies, or ice cream? (Note there is no “all of the above” option. You must choose one. Feel free to elaborate on flavor or memories tied to this dessert.) If you’d like, you can share a recipe, but you certainly don’t have to.

Cookies. I can’t eat ice cream (I do know about stuff you can take for lactose intolerance and I do use it with other things, but I am afraid to with straight milk or ice cream, as those affected me the worst). Love pies, but they’re a bit more trouble to make with all the rolling of pie crusts and peeling of fruit (hence I never thought the term “easy as pie” made sense). Love cake, but we just don’t have it much except for birthdays. So cookies are what I crave and have most often. Mt favorite brands are Oreos with chocolate cream in the middle and Chunky Chips Ahoy. My favorite cookies to make are Pudding Chip and Double Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip.

6. Females: Do you regularly change your handbag to coordinate with your outfit?

Yes. I had a whole post, quiz, and meme about purses around this time last year.

7. Are you task-oriented or relationship-oriented?

Task-oriented, I’m afraid. I have to frequently remind myself that however urgent the task is, people are more important.

8. IHOP, Bob Evans or Cracker Barrel?

Cracker Barrel, hands down. I’ve never been to a Bob Evans — would love to find and try one some day.

9. Have you ever left a movie in progress in a theater? Why?

It’s been…let me think….35 or so years since I’ve been in a movie theater, and I really don’t remember ever doing so, though I may have.

10. What is one area of life in which you would like to develop more discipline or organization?

One area? What area would I not like to develop more discipline and organization?

11. Was middle school fun or painful?

Very painful.

12. What is your favorite Fall beverage?

I don’t drink much of anything in the fall that I don’t drink during the rest of the year except the occasional cup of apple cider if someone is serving it at their home or event. And I do start drinking more coffee when the weather turns cooler.

A Thousand Words In Idioms: The Dog Version

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If “language is the dress of thoughts” ( Johnson), then idioms must the wardrobe.

Jientje at Heaven Is In Belgium hosts A  Thousand Words In Idioms on Wednesdays wherein she asks participants to illustrate an idiom or two with a photo.

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If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.

Sorry that picture isn’t clearer — it’s an old one, maybe even from an old cell phone, I don’t remember. But the saying means basically if you associate with the wrong kind of people, you’ll pick up some of their bad habits or flaws.

Dirty dog.

This is a phrase used for a low-down, sneaky, cheating person. Thankfully Suzie can be transformed from a dirty dog to a clean one, though she’s not happy about the process. I just love her pitiful expression there. Poor baby!

And though we’re supposed to keep it to two idioms, I did want to show Suzie on a happier note:

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Every dog has his (or her) day.

This means everyone has some good portion to his life, some chance for success.

God’s Chisel Videos from The Skit Guys

I don’t normally like skits in which someone tries to portray God, but this was convicting. I’ve never seen these guys before and don’t know anything about them, but someone shared this with me.

God’s Chisel « Videos « The Skit Guys

Click on Video Preview.

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A trip down memory lane…

It’s going to be a busy week — ladies’ meeting tonight, Jesse’s birthday Wednesday, then he’s having guys over to celebrate his birthday Friday. So I am going today with this  survey I saw on Facebook. I adapted it a little to use here. Feel free to borrow the format.

Who was your first “best friend”?

The first one I remember was a girl named Cindy in elementary school, about third grade.

What was your most memorable birthday as a child?
I had three cousins in Louisiana whose birthdays were all in August, as was mine, and once I happened to be up there during my birthday, and we had a carnival-like party for all four of us.

Who was your first “crush”?
My cousin Tommy when I was two, so I was told. The first I remember was a boy named James in 3rd grade.

Where was the best vacation your family took as a child?
We didn’t really take vacations other than to visit relatives.

What was your favorite pastime as a child?
Reading.

When did you learn to ride a two-wheel bike?
I don’t remember for sure — some time in elementary school. At one time my friends and I rode bikes everywhere.

What is your most traumatic memory as a child?
Probably not the most traumatic, but the first that comes to mind was trying to go to a neighbor’s house, barefoot, getting into a patch stickers (some people called them cockleburs), and having her dogs barking at me. I was afraid they were going to come after me, and I couldn’t run because my feet were full of stickers. I was afraid of dogs for a long time after that but still ran around outside barefoot until about 14 years ago.

What age did you learn to swim?
I never did….even though I grew up near the beach.

What smell automatically takes you back to your childhood?
The ocean. We lived near Padre Island and went to the beach a lot.

What was your first pet?
The first one I remember was a collie named Sam, though we had pets before that.

Who impacted your life as a child?
My father’s mother. When we lived in the same town she had me over to spend the night a lot and took me with her on a few trips to visit relatives in LA and AL. We both loved to read and would stay up late nights reading. She wrote letters to me for years and encouraged me as a Christian.

What is the most exciting Christmas gift you received as a child?
Barbie dolls.

Who was the neighborhood bully when you were growing up?
I don’t remember one in elementary school, but in high school it was a girl named Nadine, and it was at school rather than the neighborhood.

Who was/is your best friend as a teenager?
Dawn.

What is the first car you can remember your family owning?
I don’t remember the name. It was green and white and bulky. I have a picture that I will post later if I can find it.

What was the first award you ever received?
One for book reports in about the third grade.

What is the name of the first sports team you played on?
I never played on one other than P.E. I was not very athletic…

Let me know if you do this one, too.