How to Avoid Spiritual Automatic Pilot

IMG_2125?ver2I made two mistakes one day that could have been serious.

The first thing I do after I stumble out of my bedroom in the morning is take a pill that needs to be taken on an empty stomach. Then I use my exercise bike, have a quiet time with my Bible and the Lord, shower, have breakfast. After that, I take other medications that I am supposed to take with food.

One Saturday after breakfast, I opened my medication container sorted by day and took the first pill. Then I realized I had actually opened the p.m. side rather than the a.m. No problem: that medication was one I took twice a day. So I opened the a.m. side to take the rest, only to discover that same medication was already gone from that side, and the one I usually take first thing in the morning was still there. I must have taken the wrong medication first thing in the morning—but now I had taken both the morning and evening doses within three hours of each other instead of twelve.

I called the pharmacist immediately to see if I was going to face any dire consequences due to my carelessness. Thankfully, she assured me that some people do take twice the dosage I usually do and told me just not to take any more til the next day.

While immensely relieved, I was also chagrined because this was not the first time I had a medication mix-up. I had purchased my pill sorter to help me keep better track of my medications. But I still have to remind myself not to be distracted or go on automatic pilot while taking them. I need to stop, think, and pay attention.

Automatic pilot isn’t always a bad thing. If you ask me on any given day if I washed my armpits or knees in the shower, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But I trust the routine process covers all the bases without my thinking about it much. A friend said that operating on automatic pilot got him through the first months after his wife’s death.

Automatic pilot in other areas can cause a range of problems, though. If I am not paying attention while driving, I might miss my turn, drift into the next lane, or miss the person speeding through the red light. I recently turned on the most-used stove burner rather than the one I needed and caught a nearby piece of waxed paper on fire (which thankfully burned itself out in seconds).

It’s all too easy to operate on automatic pilot in my spiritual life as well. I can check off my daily Bible and devotional reading and not remember an hour later what I read. I can pray, lapsing unwittingly into all the same phrases. I can go through the day without seeking God’s guidance and help, unless a major problem arises.

There are a number of ways I can combat automatic pilot living.

Be alert

When I take medicine or drive, I need to be alert. Multitasking is fine with some activities but deadly for others. The same is true spiritually.

Ephesians 8:16 says, “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.” The Greek word for alert means “to watch; give strict attention to, be cautious, active; to take heed lest through remission and indolence some destructive calamity suddenly overtake one.” It’s often translated “watch,” but is also translated “wake” and “vigilant.” It’s used in connection with:

  • prayer (Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2)
  • watching for the Lord’s return (Matthew 24:42-43; 25:13; Mark 13:34-35; Luke 12:37-39; 1 Thessalonians 5:1-7)
  • watching out for false teachers (Acts 20:29-32)
  • guarding against Satanic attack (1 Peter 5:8)
  • In Revelation 3:1-3, the ESV uses “wake up” while the KJV uses “watch”: “I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you.”

I shouldn’t walk around half-asleep and inattentive, physically or spiritually.

Be careful

When I operate on automatic pilot, I’m not cautious, not aware of danger, not engaged. Ephesians 5:15 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise.” I like the word the KJV uses: circumspectly. I need to pay attention to my thoughts and actions rather than just drifting through the day.

I need to watch out not only for negative thoughts and attitudes, but I need to look for active ways to minister to others. I’m too often caught up in my own head and miss ways to bless others.

Be purposeful

Any relationship can grow stale when one person stops appreciating the other and starts taking the other for granted. It’s possible to go through daily routines side by side without connecting.

When I read the Bible, pray, attend church, I need to remember that the Christian life is not just a series of duties. It’s a relationship.

Routines can help us maintain good habits. One key to having a regular devotional time is setting a regular time, place, and plan to follow. But if routine creeps into our thinking, we find ourselves just going through the motions.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemoth said in A Place of Quiet Rest, “But if your study of the Word does not lead you to know God, you have missed the whole purpose” (p. 56). When I pray, I need to remember Who I am talking to and why. When I go to church, I need to remember this is not just what we do on Sunday morning: we’re going to hear God’s Word and fellowship with His people.

Be focused

We always have distractions. They may not be bad in themselves, and they don’t mean there’s anything wrong with us. But we do have to deal with them. One near medication mix-up occurred when I was talking to my son. I needed to either wait til we were finished or ask him to give me a second to attend to what I was doing before resuming the conversation.

We can be distracted by entertaining things, mind-numbing things, or hard things. The current crisis can draw us into a closer dependency on and hope in God, or it can distract us from Him. No matter what else is going on in our lives, we need to remember God’s Word is our truth, food, hope, guidance, and so much more. We may have to adjust our usual course of reading, but we need to keep time with God the priority of the day.

Be engaged

God told Israel in Amos 5 that He hated their sacrifices, offerings, and feasts (see also Isaiah 1:11-20). Hated them? Didn’t He ordain them, require them? Yes. But the offererers weren’t seeking Him (verses 5-6) and their lifestyles were full of injustice and oppression (10-13) and worship of idols and false gods (26). In Hosea 6:6, God said, “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” He wants our obedience, yes, but He wants our hearts most of all.

Though we don’t observe the OT sacrificial system today (see Hebrews), it’s still all too easy to lapse into the forms of worship without engaging our hearts

I remind myself to stop and think before taking medication. I often pray before I drive that God will help me be watchful and careful. And I pray that God will help me stay spiritually focused, alert, intentional, and engaged.

What ways have you found to avoid automatic piloting?

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Things I Am Thankful for During the Coronavirus Pandemic

IMG_2116?ver2

These are certainly unsettling times. I have never seen anything like the coronavirus or the mass panic buying.

We all have a number of concerns—the spread of the virus, health and safety of ourselves and our loved ones, availability of supplies, the economic impact of closed or reduced businesses, and so much more. I’ve cycled through feeling mildly ill-at-ease to full-blown panic to peace and back again. Perhaps you have, too.

As with any other crisis, we remind ourselves of what we know to be true. This situation has not taken God by surprise. He knows our needs. He cares even about a sparrow falling. All our worrying can’t add an hour to our lives and will only make us miserable. If God allows us to suffer in some way, He will provide the grace to deal with it.

As I calm and quiet my soul, I have found plenty to be thankful for.

  • The speed of communication. The Spanish flu, the “Black Death,” and other epidemics spread quickly far and wide before anyone could get on top of them. Even though the current virus spread through our global traveling, global communication got the word out quickly. Every day we can get new information and recommendations almost immediately.
  • Medical technology. We live in unprecedented days for medical research, testing, sharing knowledge and equipment.
  • High levels of sanitation. We’ve come a long way since the plagues of yesteryear in our basic knowledge and practice.
  • Easy ways to sanitize. Though supplies are short right now, most of us already had hand sanitizer, wipes, etc. on hand.
  • Many ways to keep in touch. Social distancing is hard on several levels. But we have phones, texting, FaceTime, social media, and other ways to keep in touch with and check on each other. Churches and other groups have found a way to “virtually” meet. Even though all these are not quite the same as being together, they are far better than nothing.
  • A number of ways to keep busy and entertain ourselves at home. Books, home projects, games, program streaming—we’ve never had more access to more means of entertainment than we do now.
  • Time. I’ve seen friends on social media mention time to slow down, to just hang out with their kids.
  • Humor. Even though the virus is serious, a bit of humor diffuses tension. I don’t know if I ever enjoyed America’s Funniest Home Videos more than I did this week. Clever memes and comments on Facebook and Twitter about the realities of a socially distanced life bring a smile.
  • Courageous and generous people. We’ve been frustrated by those who hoard needed goods and then try to profit by selling them or by price gouging. But many other people are going the extra mile, like health care workers. I read of authors helping other authors whose book launch events were canceled. I’ve heard individual stories of ways someone showed a bit of kindness here or there in stores or other places.
  • The ability to work and take classes at home. No, not everyone can work from home. But everyone who can helps “flatten the curve” that much more and helps all the rest of us. Online teaching ensures that the academic year isn’t lost.
  • Better economy and stewardship. I’ve had a tendency to use some supplies as if they will always be available. Putting more thought and care into how I use things will hopefully carry over when life gets back to “normal.”

All of us face degrees of disappointment in our current situation. Long anticipated commencement services, trips, conferences, and outings have all been cancelled. But comparing what could have been, what has been in past epidemics, to what’s going on now will give us a better perspective.

And some of the systems I mentioned still have room for improvement. But better minds than mine are working on those issues, and we need to give grace that most are doing the best they can in unprecedented circumstances.

Much is out of our control. But we can trust God and take measures to help, to foster safety, and to love our brethren.

Have you found anything to be thankful for during the current crisis?

_____

(I don’t mean to minimize the pain some are going through from illness, loss of someone they loved, or dire need. My heart goes out to those folks. Certainly we need to reach out and support them. But in one sense, that’s all the more reason to be thankful for the steps that are being taken so that as few people as possible will experience this virus.)

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Let Trouble Draw You Nearer

Let troubles draw you to God

When loved ones go through hard things, I pray that they may be drawn closer to God in all that is happening to them. I know that trials have the potential to turn people away from rather than to God.

In thinking through some of the reasons God allows suffering recently, part of me marveled that God would risk the negative reactions some people would have. Some get angry and rail against God or the universe or their loved ones. Some fear and panic.

But faith is strengthened by testing. And some people won’t turn to God until they are put in a position where there is no other choice.

Thankfully, as the psalms indicate, many work through the bad reactions, remind ourselves of what we know to be true about God, and rest in Him

As we experience this current pandemic, I’ve seen a variety of reactions already. Many are tense and on edge in the face of uncertainties: health of self and loved ones, possible lost time from work, shortage of supplies.

Hudson Taylor once said, “It does not matter how great the pressure is. What really matters is where the pressure lies — whether it comes between you and God, or whether it presses you nearer His heart.”

Let these current trials and pressures draw you to Him. Don’t let them come between you. He knows what’s going on in the world. He is wise, kind, loving, and good. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). He has promised to supply all our needs.

Do the practical things: wash hands, disinfect, avoid crowds. etc. But in faith. And, as Laura said, watch out for others who night need extra help in times like this.

A stanza in Henry Lyte’s hymn, “Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken,” says:

Man may trouble and distress me, ‘twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me; heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me while Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me, were that joy unmixed with Thee.

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What More Can He Say?

What more can He say?

One night as I listened through some hymns on my phone while trying to fall asleep, I heard the familiar hymn, “How Firm a Foundation” from the Bob Jones University Singers’ CD, “God of Mercy.” The first stanza says:

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word.
What more can He say than to you He hath said
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

As I listened to the rest of the song, this particular arrangement by Dan Forrest repeated that phrase, “What more can He say,” in-between the rest of the verses. I either hadn’t noticed before or had forgotten that each stanza is based on specific Scripture texts. That repeated question, “What more can He say,” drove home the message that God’s Word has given us everything we need to know Him and live for Him.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Did you catch that? “All things that pertain to life and godliness.” All things. Through the knowledge of Him . . . by His precious and very great promises.

What more can He say, indeed?

People have a tendency to always be on the lookout for something new. That’s not necessarily wrong. We enjoy new clothes, decorations, music. Books have been written on the same subjects for hundreds of years, but we want to read contemporary authors.

Yet when it comes to truth, we don’t need to look for anything new. Oh, we’ll always learn new things from God’s Word. We need frequent reminders of what we’ve already learned from it. We’ll never master it completely til we get to heaven.  And in that case, why do we seek new revelation when we neglect or haven’t mined the depths of what we already have?

Let’s renew our efforts to “look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls” (Jeremiah 6:16). God knows the end from the beginning. He knew thousands of years ago what we would need today.

_____________________________________________

Just for fun, I thought I’d share some of the passages that the verses of “How Firm a Foundation” are based on. The song was published in 1787 in a collection put together by John Rippon, but the author is only referred to as “K” according to Wikipedia. I wish I knew how to put this into a side-by-side chart, but this will have to do.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it (Matthew 7:24-27).

Forever, O Lord, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens (Psalm 119:89).

“Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed;
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.”

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you (Isaiah 43:2).

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace all sufficient shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:6-7).

And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, “The Lord is my God” (Zechariah 13:9).

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:10).

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say,  “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5b-6)

 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

There are more passages that reflect these truths, but these are the ones that seem to most fit the wording. There are a couple of other stanzas added later by the Mormon church, but I want to stick with “K’s” original writing.

I couldn’t find a video or clip of this beautiful arrangement from the CD I mentioned in the first paragraph. But I did find this video of another choir singing it. You can’t see much, but they do a beautiful job. And you can hear the repeated “What more can He say?”

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Biblical Reasons for Suffering

Biblical reasons for sufferingA little boy falls and scrapes his knee. His father runs to him and . . . gives him a science lesson about velocity and gravity and a lecture on safety. Right?

No, of course not. The father comforts his child and tends his wounds.

I’ve heard some people say that’s all they want when they’re suffering. They don’t need to know the why behind it: they just want their heavenly Father’s comfort and assurance of His love.

But some of us do want to know why. The question of why God allows suffering is one of the biggest issues people wrestle with.

Some think it’s wrong to ask God “Why?” Elisabeth Elliot said in her book, On Asking God Why:

I seek the lessons God wants to teach me, and that means that I ask why. There are those who insist that it is a very bad thing to question God. To them, “why?” is a rude question. That depends, I believe, on whether it is an honest search, in faith, for his meaning, or whether it is a challenge of unbelief and rebellion. The psalmist often questioned God and so did Job. God did not answer the questions, but he answered the man–with the mystery of himself.

When we lived in GA, a man in our church had Von Hippel-Lindau disease, which caused tumors to grow throughout his body. The tumors weren’t cancerous, but their growth caused multiple problems, especially when they began in his spine and brain. He once said, “I could bear this if I knew God had a reason for it.”

We may never know exactly why God allows hard things to happen in our particular cases. But the Bible gives some general reasons why God allows suffering and how He uses it.

Sin

No, suffering doesn’t mean the person experiencing it is being punished for sin. Job’s friends mistakenly thought that of him and God soundly rebuked them. When Jesus’ disciples asked him whether a certain man was blind due to his own or his parents’ sin, Jesus said neither (John 9:1-3).

But sin and suffering entered the world when sin did. Man’s inhumanity to man falls here. Sin, sorrow, sickness, etc., will be eliminated for believers when they get to heaven (Rev. 21:4), but not before. So some degree of suffering is just due to living in a fallen world. That doesn’t mean it’s random: God still is in control over what He allows.

Yet sometimes God does chasten His children, and He may use suffering to do it. Proverbs has a lot of corollaries about the consequences of certain actions. Discipline is actually a proof of our sonship. The psalmist said affliction helped him learn and obey God’s Word. Hebrews 12:1-12 says: “all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

In Revelation, God brings calamities to get people’s attention and accuses, “yet you still did not repent.” At least one purpose behind the events was an attempt to bring them to repentance.

Growth

One of the most meaningful metaphors concerning suffering for me is described in John 15. Jesus said He is the true vine, His Father is the vinedresser, and we’re branches in Him. “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (verse 2).

I’m not good with plants. But even in my limited experience, I’ve learned that some plants grow fuller when they are cut back. I’m told that expert rose pruners don’t just cut off the dead blooms: they remove perfectly good blossoms as well. Energy and nutrients are redirected to where they are most needful.

Somehow, when God “prunes” something in our lives, we grow in ways we would not have otherwise. Romans 15:3-4 says our suffering produces endurance, character, and hope. Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 says sorrow teaches our hearts things that could not be learned by feasting and laughter.

Refining

James 1:3-4 says, “The testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Malachi 3:2-3 speaks of God refining and purifying the sons of Levi. The Hebrew word for “refine” there means to smelt, to apply heat to separate impurities from the ore. Hebrews 12:25-29 speak of God shaking the earth “in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain” (Spurgeon has a wonderful devotional on this here). Trials and suffering have a way of clarifying what’s important, of burning off any excess in our lives. 

That we may learn who God is

Nebuchadnezzar went through an extensive trial through which he learned that God was God and Nebuchadnezzar was not. Though Job knew God, after his ordeals, he knew Him in a much more intimate way. Many people testify that, although they would not have chosen their trials, they don’t regret them because of how much better they knew God after  the process.

That we may learn what we are and what we trust in

Moses told the children of Israel that “the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word  that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:2-3). God knew what was in their hearts, but He had to bring it out so they could see it.

One of the reasons God caused the events in Exodus was to get people’s attention and to show that their gods were no gods, that He alone was God. He did get their attention, and there are signs some believed (Exodus 18:5-11; Exodus 14:18; 14:31; 11:9).

Sometimes we don’t realize we’re trusting in something other than God until God removes it. Though that process is painful, it’s ultimately kind in turning us from a false hope to the only true God.

To humble us

As mentioned above, part of God’s purpose for bringing Israel through the wilderness was to humble them. Nebuchadnezzar had to be humbled before he would see his need of God. Paul’s “thorn” mentioned in 2 Corinthians 12:7 was partly to keep him from being too proud because of all the revelations he had received.

For the sake of others

Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16). Paul mentions several times that some of his suffering were for others:

  • Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.” (2 Timothy 2:10).
  • And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear” (Philippians 1:14).
  • If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.” (2 Corinthians 1:6).
  • “As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come” (2 Timothy 4:5-6).
  • Always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you” (2 Corinthians 4:10-12).

Joni Eareckson Tada has suffered for 50+ years since her diving accident. God may have had reasons unknown to us for allowing this, but her suffering has opened a ministry to untold numbers of people.

To glorify God

I mentioned earlier Jesus telling the disciples that a certain man wasn’t born blind due to sin. He went on to say that the man was born blind “that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 1:3). When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, He said this illness was “for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:1-4).

I admit I have wrestled with this one. When I was about 38, I read about the man who had been paralyzed for 38 years and imagined his being paralyzed my whole lifetime. Part of me wondered how God could ask this of him. But 38 years is not that long compared to eternity. Paul said, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). Paul didn’t use the word “light” lightly: he had been speaking of excruciating suffering earlier in the chapter. But compared to the “eternal weight of glory,” it was light.

It’s like pregnancy: expectant mothers go through a range of discomfort all through pregnancy, culminating in the pain of childbirth. But they count all the suffering worth having that little one in their arms (John 16:21).

After speaking about the inheritance laid up for us in heaven, Peter says: “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:15).

That the world may be shown what love and obedience mean

I’m grateful to Elisabeth Elliot for this one. In John 14:27-31, Jesus said, as he was preparing for the cross, “I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father.” Elizabeth wrote in Keep a Quiet Heart:

The disciples’ worst fears were about to be realized, yet He commanded (yes, commanded) them to be at peace. All would be well, all manner of things would be well—in the end. In a short time, however, the Prince of this world, Satan himself, was to be permitted to have his way. Not that Satan had any rights over Jesus. Far from it. Nor has he “rights” over any of God’s children… But Satan is permitted to approach. He challenges God, we know from the Book of Job, as to the validity of His children’s faith.

God allows him to make a test case from time to time. It had to be proved to Satan, in Job’s case, that there is such a thing as obedient faith which does not depend on receiving only benefits. Jesus had to show the world that He loved the Father and would, no matter what happened, do exactly what He said. The servant is not greater than his Lord. When we cry “Why, Lord?” we should ask instead, “Why not, Lord? Shall I not follow my Master in suffering as in everything else?”

Does our faith depend on having every prayer answered as we think it should be answered, or does it rest rather on the character of a sovereign Lord? We can’t really tell, can we, until we’re in real trouble.

Paul said that somehow “through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 3:8-10). So we don’t display His working and wisdom only to other humans, but to beings in the heavenlies.

To learn that His grace is sufficient

Paul had asked God to remove something troubling in his life that he called a thorn. God said No. Instead, God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul responded, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

I believe it was Corrie ten Boom who said, “When all you have is Christ, you find that Christ is all you need.” The times in my life when anything I normally depended on was taken away and I felt the rug pulled out from under me were the  times I came to know by experience that Christ truly was sufficient for every need.

As children grow up, they depend on their parents less and less until they are able to stand alone. But Christians grow more and more dependent on God as they mature.

To spare us from something harder

We tend to overlook this part of Israel’s journey from Egypt. Exodus 13:17-18 says God didn’t bring Israel a nearer way through the land of the Philistines because the people might be tempted to turn back when they saw war. Instead, He led them through the wilderness to the Red Sea—where they were stuck between the sea and Pharaoh’s army. God already knew how He was going to deliver them, and they should have been able to trust Him for that trial.

To teach us to depend on His Word

In Deuteronomy 8:2-3, mentioned earlier, God says He led Israel through the wilderness and gave them manna partly to “make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” Psalm 119:67 says: “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.”

To identify with Christ

This is one of Scripture’s mysteries. I have several passages on this topic, but since this post is long already, I’ll just share a couple:

  • “For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake” (Philippians 1:29).
  • “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Philippians 3:8 10).
  • “Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body’s sake, which is the church” (Colossians 1:24).

Conclusion

These truths from Scripture help, but in some ways they don’t satisfy. Elisabeth Elliot said once, in a source I have not been able to retrace, that even though God accomplished great things through her first husband’s death, he didn’t necessarily have to die to accomplish those things. God calls people to salvation and service all the time without requiring someone’s death. Yet He chose to work that way in this case.

Even when we don’t know why, we know God. We are “afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair” (2 Corinthians 4:8). We know His character. We know He is wise and good. We know He is with us (Isaiah 43:2; Daniel 3:24-25) and loves us. He is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). He promises His grace is sufficient. and He will bring good out of everything He allows. As Joni Eareckson Tada says, God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves.”

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief,
he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;

for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men.
(Lamentations 3:31-33).

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

From “How Firm a Foundation,” attributed to “K”

(Revised from the archives)

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When Not To Be Minimalist

When not to be minimalistI enjoyed reading Joni Eareckson Tada’s Spectacle of Glory devotional book a couple of years ago. One quote from the book that came back to me many times after reading it was from the August 9 entry, which commented on Ephesians 3:8 about “the unsearchable riches of Christ”:

We can study all we want, but Jesus will always be a greater Savior than what we think He is. He is more ready to forgive than you can imagine asking Him. He is more willing to supply your wants and needs than you are to declare them. He is so much more ready to give than you are to receive. Don’t ever tolerate low thoughts of a barely adequate, minimalist Savior who might “keep you going” but not much more. Jesus has riches to bestow on you right now. He will not only give you heaven above, but heaven-hearted joy in serving Him here on earth.

Lord, my thoughts about You are too small, too lean, too sparse, too thin, too colorless. Paul writes about your unsearchable riches, but on some days, I barely even approach the treasuries. My mind is filled with too many smaller things. I’m in the trees and can’t see the mountains. Lift my gaze to your greatness and majesty today (p. 242, emphasis mine).

The phrase “minimalist Savior” especially jumped out at me, since minimalism is such a byword these days. I don’t want to comment on the current notions of minimalist lifestyles or practices, but I began to think of other ways we should not be minimalists.

In thoughts of our Savior

Joni wasn’t saying Jesus lived extravagantly while on earth. He was born into a poor earthly family. He didn’t own a home as an adult. One former pastor used to say that Jesus was “born from a borrowed womb and buried in a borrowed tomb.”

But, contrary to the “prosperity gospel,” all blessings are not material. God promises to supply our needs, but He doesn’t promise physical riches to His followers. Rather, “according to the riches of his glory” (Ephesians 3:16), He “is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20. The KJV says “exceedingly abundantly.”)

In prayer

Couched between Ephesians 3:16 and 18, based on those riches of Christ, this is what Paul prays for:

According to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Sometimes when I find myself suggesting to God ways that He might answer, I remind myself of this: He can do far more than I can ask or even think, according to Ephesians 3:20.

In worship

In Mark 14, a woman came into the house where Jesus was a dinner guest. John 12:1-8 identifies her as Mary of Bethany, whose brother, Lazarus, Jesus had raised from the dead (Matthew 26:6-13 also records this incident). She “came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head.

That might seem weird to us in our time. I went on a bit of a rabbit trail trying to discover what anointing meant and why it was done in that day. The best explanation I found so far is here. Anointing was a mark of respect and also a way of setting apart a prophet, priest, or king. Christ is referred to an anointed in other passages. Perhaps Mary was showing her gratefulness for Jesus having raised her brother. Perhaps she had some of these other aspects in view. But Jesus took her actions as anointing his “body beforehand for burial.” Whether Mary did this unwittingly or whether she caught what so many of the other disciples missed when Jesus foretold His death, I don’t know. Others criticized her actions, pointing out that this expensive ointment could have been sold and given to the poor. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me” (verse 6). And He promised that “wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her” (verse 9).

A similar incident occurs in Luke 7. We know this is a different situation because the event, timing, host, woman, actions, critics, criticisms, purpose, and response from Jesus are all different. The woman in this case is known as sinful. She wet Jesus’ feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, and anointed them with the expensive ointment. The host, a Pharisee, criticized Jesus in his heart, saying, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” Jesus then told of two debtors. One owed a large amount and one owed a small amount. Both debts were forgiven. Jesus asked which of the debtors would love the lender more. The Pharisee answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt,” (verse 43). Jesus said of the woman, “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (verse 47). Her actions were extravagant both because of the cost of the ointment, but also because she loved so much that she risked ridicule and shame from others to show her great love to Him.

Have we thought recently about the greatness of our sins and how much it cost Jesus to forgive them? Have we meditated on His goodness and greatness enough to be overawed?

In giving

We’ve already seen from these two women that their love and worship led to costly actions. Does that mean we need to get some expensive perfume to bring to church or pour out when we read our Bibles? No. But generosity should be part of our character. King David once said, “I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing” (2 Samuel 24:24).

When Paul sought financial help for needy saints, he told the Corinthians:

Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:6-7).

He wasn’t speaking just to the rich Corinthians. He referred earlier to the Macedonians, who first gave themselves to the Lord and then to the apostles, and who begged for the opportunity to give out of their extreme poverty (2 Corinthians 8:2-5).

I’ve seen a lot of criticism of the rich online recently, and a lot of judgment about what they do with their wealth. But we’re not accountable for them. We’re accountable for ourselves. The Macedonians were in extreme poverty yet begged to be allowed to give to help others.Jesus commended a poor widow who only offered two small coins because that was her all (Luke 21:1-4).

Giving abundantly doesn’t necessarily mean we need to sell everything we have and give it to the poor. Jesus only told one man to do that, because he knew that man’s wealth was a problem for him. 1 Corinthians 16:2 tells us to give as God has prospered us.

Sometimes we save to be able to give. Another former pastor once advised his people to have a “benevolence” section in their budget, to put aside a little bit of money every paycheck so that when they become aware of a need, they would have some on hand to give.

We should give wisely, of course. There is a type of giving that enables people to continue on in their sin. Sometimes we have to say no. Sometimes God says no, because what we’re asking isn’t good for us or isn’t the right time.

And we don’t just give money. Our time, schedules, attention, homes, all belong to God, to be used as He directs.

We don’t give for show, as Ananias and Sapphira and the Pharisees did. But we give as God directs out of a grateful heart for what He has given us.

And we can’t outgive God. Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).

In love

1 Peter 1:22 tells us to “love one another with a pure heart fervently.” Other translations say “deeply” or “earnestly.” Biblical love could take another whole post (or several) to expound upon, but it’s aptly summed up in 1 Corinthians 13. Verses 4-8a say:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends . . .

My heart is full, thinking of God’s great generosity to me, inspired to be generous towards others, overflowing into even more ways to be generous rather than minimalist: thankfulness, praise, patience, and more.

How about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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Working Toward Harmonious Relationships

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I’ve remembered what this speaker said for decades.

I don’t remember his main topic or even where I heard him. But at some point in his talk, he mentioned a husband forgetting his wedding anniversary. And then he said something like this: “Wives, don’t stand back with arms folded, tapping your foot, waiting to see if he remembers, and then lowering the boom when he doesn’t. Help him remember.”

How wise. “Getting after him” in some way—pouting, anger, silent treatment—will only make him feel guilty, maybe even defensive. And the day that’s supposed celebrate love turns into a negative experience. You might think, “Well, he ruined it first.” However, we can either redeem the situation or make it worse by our reaction.

My husband doesn’t usually forget special occasions. But this speaker’s advice  filtered into my thinking to apply generally to how we deal with each other’s foibles. “Punishing” or getting back at each other or stewing in resentment compounds the negative and widens the breach. How can we work towards harmony and away from dissension?

Look for ways to help.

Perhaps a week or two before an anniversary (or birthday or whatever), we could casually say, “Do you want to do anything special on our anniversary?” We could even invite him to something we’ve planned.

This principle goes so much farther than marriage and anniversaries. It applies to any relationship. If a child constantly forgets a chore, instead of incessantly nagging, we can find another way to help them remember: a chore chart, a privilege after his work is done, etc. If a wife is constantly late, perhaps a husband can help the kids get their shoes on so that’s one less thing she has to do.

Confront kindly when necessary.

Does that mean we can never confront each other about a problem or tell another when he has hurt our feelings or offended us in some way? No, of course not. Working out these issues helps the relationship progress and get even closer—if the issue is handled in a kind, thoughtful, edifying way rather than an angry or punishing manner.

“Do unto others . . “

Jesus said, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them” (Luke 6:31). Would we want someone to scowl or withdraw if we failed them in some way? Or would we prefer a frank discussion? Would a preliminary reminder help, or would that seem like nagging?

Take into account different personalities and “love languages.

Perhaps a husband shows love by working hard, keeping up with repairs at home, keeping the lawn mowed. Tell him how much you appreciate all of that—and then suggest that, just every now and then, flowers or candy or a nice dinner out or watching a romantic movie together would really make you feel special. Perhaps she showers you with gifts, but you’d really appreciate a compliment once in a while. There might not be a way for her to know that unless you gently and kindly tell her.

Choose what’s most important.

Perhaps he leaves things out of place. We might resent that he’s created even more work for us. We could tell him how debris around the house makes us feel. Or we could just pick it up.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8).

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses (Proverbs 10:12).

Forbear and forgive.

None of us has to be doormats. We should never put up with abuse or outright sin. But we do have to accept that no one is perfect. (This article helps differentiate between things we shouldn’t let go).

I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:1-3).

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony (Colossians 3:12-14).

Build up instead of tearing down.

However we handle these issues, we need to keep in mind our goal. The aim isn’t “Everyone do everything my way”—or shouldn’t be. The goal is harmony, feeding and increasing our love for each other, and building one another up.

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. (Proverbs 14:1)

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. (Romans 14:19).

Sometimes a choir or musical group will sing in unison, but more often they sing in harmony. Different voices bring different tones and notes into play, yet the outcome is all the more beautiful for the differences that come together into a beautiful whole. It takes a lot to get to that place. The composer has to arrange the piece. The leader has to interpret it. The instrumentalists and singers all have to learn their parts. They have have to practice together several times. Some might be too loud or soft, too fast or slow at first. But finally, each individual part works together with the rest, and the effect can bring tears to our eyes.

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 15:5-6).

What are ways you work towards harmony in relationships?

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday [Anita wrote about relationships this week, too, and brought out factors I hadn’t thought about], Global Blogging, Senior Salon,
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When I fall, I shall rise

I missed my time in the Bible . . . again. I may as well give up.

I blew my diet today. I should wait until life is less hectic to start up again.

I lost my temper with my pesky neighbor again. Maybe I should just avoid her instead of trying to be nice.

We’ve all had experiences like these. We set goals. We have good intentions. But invariable we drop the ball, and then we wonder if the effort is even worth it. We let an off day derail our endeavors.

I love what Christina Rossetti said: “A fall is a signal not to lie wallowing, but to rise.”

Or, as Proverbs 21:16 puts it: “The righteous falls seven times and rises again.”

How can we rise again? First we assess what caused the fall.

Sin

Did we willfully choose our own way instead of God’s? Some of God’s greatest servants had some of the most spectacular falls. David, a “man after God’s own heart,” committed adultery and then had the woman’s husband put in the line of fire in battle so he would be killed. His heart-wrenching confession and plea for God’s mercy and forgiveness can be found in Psalm 51. Peter, the main spokesman for the disciples, denied he even knew Jesus when the pressure was on. Then “he went out and wept bitterly” (Luke 22:62). Both men were restored to fellowship. Does that mean they “got away with” their sin? No. John wrote:

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous (1 John 2:1).

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)

Jesus took on all our sin and punishment so we could be forgiven. True faith and repentance doesn’t say, “Great! Now I can do whatever I want with no consequences!” A true believer will be grieved over his sin and what it cost while still being grateful for God’s forgiveness.

Immaturity

We’re saved in a moment, but we spend the rest of our lives growing more like Christ. Just as a baby trips and falls while learning to walk, we’ll have our share of missteps. We can learn from them and move on. “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18).

Lack of prayer

When Jesus went to Gethsemane to pray, He told His disciples, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” But when he came back to them, they were sleeping (Luke 22:39-46).

Set-up for failure

I’ve learned that it’s easier to say “no” to problem foods at the store rather than at home. Recently while shopping I wanted a “treat”—and came home a couple of bags of candy and a couple of dessert mixes. And then I figuratively kicked myself. Romans 13:14 says, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” I had just made plenty of provision for my flesh. Thankfully, God helped me realize it and ration out the goodies. But we sabotage ourselves in other areas as well: We want to get up early, but then we stay up late on social media or Netflix. We want to read the Bible, but we wait for a time that never opens up instead of making time.

Goals too big or vague

Saying “I need to eat healthier” or “I need to be less selfish” are generalities that are hard to put into practice. I need to look at my specific habits to see needs to change. Likewise, a goal set on January 1 will need some checking through the year. In one book I read, the author set quarterly goals and took time to review them. We may need weekly or even daily goals.

Relying on our own strength

Jesus said, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

Not knowing or using God’s Word

In Matthew 4, every time Satan tempted Jesus, Jesus countered with the Word of God. Satan uses Scripture, too, but he misapplies or twists it. Romans 12:1-2 tells us to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Psalm 103:13-14 reminds us: “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” Barb Raveling says in The Renewing of the Mind Project:.

[God] sees things right now in your life that He’d like to change. Not because He’s a demanding perfectionist who’s disgusted with you. But because He’s a loving Father who cares about you and also about the people you interact with each day. So as you look at your weaknesses, look at them from the comfort and safety of your Father’s arms. knowing that He’s looking at them with you, but through eyes of grace and love and a desire to help (p. 8).

He wants to help us:

Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted (Hebrews 2:17-18).

 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:15-16).

So next time we fall or fail, let’s not wallow. Let’s not stay down. Let’s confess to God our sin and need of Him and seek His grace to stand back up and keep going. His mercies are new every morning. He “equip[s] you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ” (Hebrews 13:20-21). He “has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him” and “has granted to us his precious and very great promises(2 Peter 1:3-4). Let’s look unto Jesus, and as we behold Him, we’ll become more like Him.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
    when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be a light to me.

Micah 7:8

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Musings Of A Tired Mummy

Grace and Truth

More songs about God’s way

When I wrote about wanting my own way yesterday, the old hymn, “Have Thine Own Way,” seemed a fitting ending. But the last day or two that I was working on my rough draft, other songs on the topic drifted to mind. Here are a few:

Let Him Have His Way With Thee” by Cyrus S. Nusbaum is one we used to sing often, but I haven’t heard it in a while. The chorus goes:

His pow’r can make you what you ought to be;
His blood can cleanse your heart and make you free;
His love can fill your soul, and you will see
’Twas best for Him to have His way with thee.

I have not heard these two in years.

Thy Way, Not Mine

Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
however dark it be;
lead me by thine own hand,
choose out the path for me.

Smooth let it be or rough,
it will be still the best;
winding or straight, it leads
right onward to thy rest.

I dare not choose my lot;
I would not if I might:
choose thou for me, my God,
so shall I walk aright.

The kingdom that I seek
is thine, so let the way
that leads to it be thine,
else I must surely stray.

Take thou my cup, and it
with joy or sorrow fill,
as best to thee may seem;
choose thou my good and ill.

Choose thou for me my friends,
my sickness or my health;
choose thou my cares for me,
my poverty or wealth.

Not mine, not mine, the choice
in things or great or small;
be thou my guide, my strength,
my wisdom, and my all.

~ Horatio Bonar, 1857

In looking for this song on YouTube, I found it to several tunes I had never heard before. I don’t know these folks, but this is the melody I am familiar with.

Submission

The path that I have trod,
Has brought me nearer God,
Though oft it led through sorrow’s gates .
Though not the way I choose,
In my way I might lose
The joy that yet for me awaits.

(Refrain)
Not what I wish to be,
Nor where I wish to go,
For who am I that I should choose my way?
The Lord shall choose for me,
‘Tis better far, I know,
So let him bid me go, or stay.

The cross that I must bear,
If I a crown would wear,
Is not the cross that I should take;
But since on me ’tis laid,
I’ll take it unafraid,
And bear it for the Master’s sake.

Submission to the will
Of him who guides me still
Is surety of His love revealed;
My soul shall rise above
This world in which I move,
I conquer only when I yield.

~ Charles Austin Miles (1868-1946)

I especially love the last line. Again, I don’t know this singer, but this is the melody I know for this song:

His Way Is Perfect” by Betsy Kistler is newer (1997). We used to sing this often in choir, and I heard it numerous times as solos. I always wished I knew the story behind it. It’s cast a bit sadder than the others, but that’s often when we most need to reassurance, as the last line repeats, that His way is best.

Scripture-soaked hymns and songs help us meditate on truths of God’s Word. May these be a blessing to you.

Are you familiar with these? Are there other songs that encourage you to yield to God’s will?

 

Wanting My Own Way

We’re born wanting our own way.

Babies, of course, don’t know any better than to demand that their universe revolves around their needs. That’s all they know at first.

But even when children make their first conscious, deliberate choices, they demonstrate a “me first” mentality. If they want a toy another child is holding, they grab it. If they don’t want their food, they spit it out or throw the plate on the floor. They scream or cry at any displeasure.

We recognize such responses as immaturity and understand why God gave kids parents. We try to patiently teach them that the universe does not revolve around them, they have to sometimes acquiesce to others, it’s rude to grab things from away from people, they sometimes have to do things they don’t like to do (and can’t do things they would like to do). As they get older, we teach the concept of taking turns, negotiation, and compromise. It’s a sign of growth and maturity when they can take the next steps to give sacrificially: to let someone else play with the toy they want, to give someone else the last cookie, to let someone else choose what movie to watch.

Even as adults, we note and dislike signs of selfishness in others and in ourselves.

Yet we’re still prone to want our own way.

Wanting our own will isn’t always bad. I think God gives us certain innate desires and tendencies that guide our futures. Someone who hates math will probably not be an accountant. Sometimes God nudges us out of our comfort zones, even out of our natural gifting, to cause us to depend on Him more and to show that the results could only have come from Him.

The problem comes when what we want conflicts with what He wants.

For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want (Galatians 5:17, CSB).

Some years ago, I did a study of phrases like “own way,” “own thoughts,” own heart,” etc., in order to find plenty of fuel to remind me that my way is not usually best. I ended up with four pages of types verses. Here are just a few:

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:6).

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts (Proverbs 21:2).

Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices (Proverbs 1:31).

What’s so wrong with wanting our own way? Sometimes nothing. But if our will clashes with God’s, then guess Who is right?

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (I Corinthians 6:19).

For they got not the land in possession by their own sword, neither did their own arm save them: but thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, because thou hadst a favour unto them (Psalm 44:3).

One of the worst things God can do to us is give us up to our own ways.

Hear, O my people, while I admonish you! O Israel, if you would but listen to me! … But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels (Psalm 81:8, 11-12, ESV).

Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, would have none of my counsel and despised all my reproof, therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way, and have their fill of their own devices (Proverbs 1:29-31, ESV)

Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves (Romans 1:24).

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul (Psalm 106:15).

When I struggle with wanting my own way, I try to remember these things:

God has a right to call the shots.

He’s the creator. He made me; He made this world. Everything I have, my life, my breath, even my righteousness, is from Him. “And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith” (Philippians 3:9).

He is wise. He knows best.

He is kind. He is loving.

If He allows bumps in the road, delays, frustrations, unpleasantness, and even outright pain, He has a purpose. He promised His “grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

Therefore, I should:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In
all your ways acknowledge him,

    and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
    and refreshment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8, ESV)

Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God (Romans 6:13).

Elisabeth Elliot said, “To pray, ‘Thy will be done,’ I must be willing, if the answer requires it, that my will be undone.” That’s not always easy.

But I am heartened that our Lord Jesus, in His human nature, prayed in Gethsemane, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42).

He taught His disciples, and practiced Himself: “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

And what was the result when He yielded to His Fathers will? Besides obeying, pleasing, and glorifying His Father, He accomplished what was needed to save multitudes of people.

It’s one of those seeming paradoxes of Scripture that “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it” (Luke 17:33). Whatever we want to hold onto for ourselves we will eventually lose. What we yield to Christ He will keep for us and give back so much more.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…(1 Corinthians 13:4-5, ESV)

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Thou art the potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after thy will,
while I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master, today!
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
as in thy presence humbly I bow.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me I pray!
Power, all power, surely is thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Hold o’er my being absolute sway.
Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me!

Adelaide A. Pollard (1906)

I was blessed by more songs about God’s way here.

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