Category Archives: Christian Life

Book Review: Feminine Appeal

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Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney came about when several people heard her teach through Titus 2 and urged her to put her talks into book form.

In the first chapter she shares her early wife and mothering years of wishing she had someone to come alongside and teach, guide, ask questions of, etc., and then explains that’s exactly what Titus 2 calls us to do.

I appreciate that instead of pulling these verses out to stand on their own, she brings out them out in the context of the rest of the chapter. The purposes for godly women mentoring younger women goes beyond our individual homes and families: the larger purpose is that such teaching “becomes” (KJV) or “accords with” (ESV) “sound doctrine” (verse 1), “that the word of God be not blasphemed” (verse 5), “that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you”, (verse 8), and “that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things” (verse 10). She explains that “To ‘adorn’ means to put something beautiful or attractive on display — like placing a flawless gemstone in a setting that uniquely shows off its brilliance” (p. 27). By our actions and conduct, even how we minster to our homes and families, we can display the gospel of Christ.

She then delineates the teaching of Titus 2:3-5 into seven virtues, giving each of them their own chapter:

  • The Delight of Loving My Husband
  • The Blessings of Loving My Children
  • The Safety of Self-Control
  • The Pleasure of Purity
  • The Honor of Working at Home
  • The Rewards of Kindness
  • The Beauty of Submission

Though much of the book is directed to married women, Carolyn encourages single women to read along, too, both because much of this instruction is to all women, and because it will help prepare them if God does lead them to marriage, and it will help them as they mentor and encourage other women as well.

There was much that spoke to me in this book, but a few highlights particularly stood out. One was a reminder that “While the salvation of our children is our highest aim, our tender love is not sufficient for this task. Only the Holy Spirit is able to reveal the truth of the gospel. However, our tender love can be an instrument in God’s hands” (p. 61).

Another came from the chapter on self-control.

“Self-control doesn’t just happen. We can’t adopt the indifferent attitude ‘let go and let God’ and expect magically to become self-controlled. Self-control requires effort. However, development of this quality is not solely dependent on us. We cannot acquire this virtue by our own strength. It is only as we cooperate with the power of the Holy Spirit that we will achieve self-control, Our growth will take place as it did with Paul who said, ‘For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me’ (Col. 1:29). Notice that Paul did toil and struggle, but his effort was initiated and sustained by the Holy Spirit.”

I wrote recently about the struggle between grace and obedience, and this caps those thoughts off perfectly.

I hadn’t heard the word the KJV uses here, “sober,” interpreted as self-control before, but other versions use that word, and the original Greek word does convey that idea.

Another highlight was a quote from Dorothy Patterson’s book Where’s Mom?:

“Much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else’s and not your own” (p. 102).

Absurd, isn’t it? I was thinking recently that most everyone appreciates good marriages, well-behaved polite and kind children, and walking into a well-ordered home, yet how ironic that society devalues the efforts of those dedicated to them.

Another quote from the same book says:

Homemaking — being a full-time wife and mother — is not a destructive drought of uselessness but an overflowing oasis of opportunity; it is not a dreary cell to contain one’s talents and skills but a brilliant catalyst to channel creativity and energies into meaningful work” (p. 109).

After receiving many of the truths in this book multiple times over the years through godly teaching and preaching, good books, and my own studies, there wasn’t much that was new to me here, and perhaps anticipation of that is what kept this book on my nightstand for ages before I finally determined to include it in my spring reading plans. But it’s good to remind ourselves from time to time of truths we already know. We can get discouraged in our duties or sway one way or another, pulled off-balance by differing opinions and philosophies. Reading such a book as this provides both encouragement and course correction.

Whether you need encouragement or reminding, or you’ve never received such instruction as this, or you need help knowing how to mentor others, I recommend this book to you.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Review: It Is Not Death to Die: A New Biography of Hudson Taylor

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(I hope you’ll forgive me for talking mostly about books the last two weeks. 🙂 I happened to finish several recently and I’m trying to finish off my spring reading plans.)

I’ve mentioned before the importance of reading missionary biographies, for our own growth and inspiration and to keep before us those names in church history that need to be remembered just like Washington, Lincoln, and others need to be remembered in our secular history.

Hudson Taylor is one of those names for several reasons. He was a pioneer missionary to China in the 1800s during a time when China was especially hostile and suspicious of foreigners. He wanted to convert people to Christ in their own culture rather than converting them to Western culture. He dressed as a Chinaman, much to the dismay and criticism of the overseas European community and even other missionaries, simply because he found that the most effective way to work with the Chinese. A missionary coming into a town dressed as a European was likely to be attacked and cause a riot. He suffered much hardship uncomplainingly and purposefully lived as simple a life as possible. He did not set out to start a mission agency, but the agency which sent him out failed miserably: they failed to advise or prepare him, failed to forward funds and communicate with him when he was on the field, causing other mission agencies to step in and help him and others, and then they had the gall to criticize other mission agencies in the periodicals of the day. The necessity of a mission agency attuned to the needs in China and resp0nsible in its habits led to Hudson beginning the China Inland Mission. There were a few missionaries in the bigger cities, but China wanted to go inland where the gospel had not been preached. Probably the most notable aspects of Hudson, however, were his simple childlike (but not childish) faith and his unswerving obedience to what he perceived God wanted him to do.

For these reasons I was very glad to see It Is Not Death to Die: A New Biography of Hudson Taylor by Jim Cromarty. There are two older well-known biographies of Hudson Taylor. One is a two-volume set, Hudson Taylor in Early Years: The Growth of a Soul and Hudson Taylor and the China Inland Mission: The Growth of a Work of God by his daughter and son-in-law, Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor, first published in 1911. But the first volume is over 500 pages and the second well over 600, which can be quite daunting and they can sometimes be hard to find (Amazon only had used copies but I found them on sale just now here.) These are excellent and easily readable though they were written over a hundred years ago. The other well-known biography of Taylor is Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, also written by his daughter and son-in-law, but much more compact at 272 pages and still printed regularly today.

I had high hopes that this new biography by Cromarty would bridge the gap between these two and bring Hudson’s life before a modern audience that might not seek out the older books. And while it is a faithful representation with much research evidently behind it and I can recommend it, I wish it were more dynamically written. It’s a good reference book for people who want to know more about Taylor, but I don’t know if it would draw in those who are unfamiliar with him or those who do not like to read biographies.

Biographers do have it a little rough: they can write in a story form, which is more interesting but tends to be less accurate as the biographer has to invent conversations and situations to bring out the points he needs to; or they can right a factual version which can tend to be more encyclopedic and accurate, but which doesn’t appeal to the average modern reader. This one is in the style of the latter. I think it could have been much more condensed: there are many descriptions of various CIM missionaries’ travels which could have been left out or at least summarized. The book is 481 pages, not including indexes and end notes, and I have to admit I got bogged down in places.

But I do recommend the book. If you persevere, you will find great nuggets about Taylor’s character. He was not unflawed: he was very human and he would never have wanted people to think he was some super-Christian. But he loved and followed the Lord in an exemplary and humble way.

I marked way too many places to share, especially in a review that is long already:

But here are a few places that stood out to me:

His health, as he described it, could “not be called robust” (p. 49), but I hadn’t realized he struggled so much with his health through the years, including regular bouts of dysentery.

Before he went to China, the girl he had planned to marry refused his proposal because she did not want to go to China. He wrote to his mother, “Trusting God does not deprive one of feelings or deaden our natural sensibilities, but it enables us to compare our trials with our mercies and to say, ‘Yet notwithstanding, I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation'” (p. 55).

Once during a storm on the way to China in a ship, he took off a life jacket because he felt he was trusting in it rather than the Lord. Later he realized that was wrong thinking and wrote, “The use of means ought not to lessen our faith in God; and our faith in God ought not to hinder whatever means He has given us for the accomplishment of His own purposes…When in medical or surgical charge of any case, I have never thought of neglecting to ask God’s guidance and blessing in the use of appropriate means…to me it would appear presumptuous  and wrong to neglect the use of those measures which He Himself has put within our reach, as to neglect to take daily food, and suppose that life and health might be maintained by prayer alone” (p. 99). He was later said to be “a man of prayer, but it was prayer associated with action…’He prayed about things as if everything depended upon the praying…but he worked also, as if everything depended upon the working'” (p. 329).

To live in inland China at that time meant giving up what would be considered as Western luxuries, and Hudson tried hard to give a real picture of the mission field before new missionaries came over. “The only persons wanted here are those who will rejoice to work — really to labour — not to dream their lives away; to deny themselves; to suffer in order to save.” (p. 294). He wrote to applicants, “If you want hard work, and little appreciation of it; value God’s approbation more than you fear man’s disapprobation; are prepared, if need be, to seal your testimony with your blood and perhaps oftentimes to take joyfully the spoiling of your goods…you may count on a harvest of souls here, and a crown of glory that does not fade away, and the Master’s ‘Well done’…it is no question of ‘making the best of both worlds’ — the men who will be happy with us are those who have this world under their feet” (p. 303).

At one time he said. “My soul yearns, oh how intently for the evangelization of these 180 millions of the nine unoccupied provinces. Oh that I had a hundred lives to give or spend for their good…Better to have pecuniary and other outward trials and perplexities, and blessing in the work itself, souls being saved, and the name of the Lord Jesus being magnified, than any measure of external prosperity without it” (p. 297).

He was known to be a humble and unassuming man. Many meeting him for the first time were surprised that he didn’t “stand out,” but looked at first like a regular Chinaman. Spurgeon wrote of him, “Mr. Taylor…is not in outward appearance an individual who would be selected among others as the leader of a gigantic enterprise; in fact, he is lame in gait, and little in stature; but…his spirit is quiet and meek, yet strong and intense; there is not an atom of self-assertion about him, but a firm confidence in God” (p. 329). Many times he quietly and unassumingly helped and ministered to others, especially new arrivals. Once when a group he was with had to spend a night on a boat with a leper, and someone complained about the stench of his bedding, Hudson spent the night in his cabin uncomplainingly and bought him new bedding the next day. Another time when an exhausted group of travelers fell into bed without eating, Hudson prepared omelets for them all. Once when he knew of a paper that was critical of him, almost derogatory, he said, “That is a very just criticism, for it is all true. I have often thought that God made me little in order that He might show what a great God He is” (p. 400).

In one meeting, Hudson said, “What we give up for Christ we gain, and what we keep back is our real loss…Let us make earth a little less homelike, and souls more precious. Jesus is coming again, and so soon! Will He really find us obeying His last command?” (p. 383).

I had thought that the title of this book came from the hymn, “It is Not Death to Die,” originally written in 1832 and recently updated. But in writing of Hudson’s death, Cromarty cites the Banner of Truth 1977 publication of Pilgrim’s Progress, at the section where Mr. Valiant-For-Truth dies, and the line “It Is Not Death to Die” is in the passage he quotes but I have not found it in the online versions of Pilgrim’s Progress. Nevertheless, the sentiment is true. Dying to self and living for Christ, which Hudson Taylor exemplified, is true life, just as dying to this body makes way for heaven for those who have trusted Christ as Savior.

(For a more positive review that brings out some different things about Cromarty’s book and Taylor’s life, see my friend Debbie’s review here.)

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

No, Not Despairingly

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I had not heard this song in years, but a friend posted the lyrics on Facebook recently, reminding me of them. In fact, the only time I have heard this song was when the music pastor of the church we attended when we were first married sang them. But it is a rich old hymn. The tune I am familiar with is not the same one listed here.

No, not despairingly come I to Thee;
No, not distrustingly bend I the knee:
Sin hath gone over me, yet is this still my plea,
Jesus hath died.

Ah! mine iniquity crimson hath been,
Infinite, infinite—sin upon sin:
Sin of not loving Thee, sin of not trusting Thee—
Infinite sin.

Lord, I confess to Thee sadly my sin;
All I am tell I Thee, all I have been:
Purge Thou my sin away, wash Thou my soul this day;
Lord, make me clean.

Faithful and just art Thou, forgiving all;
Loving and kind art Thou when poor ones call:
Lord, let the cleansing blood, blood of the Lamb of God,
Pass o’er my soul.

Then all is peace and light this soul within;
Thus shall I walk with Thee, the loved Unseen;
Leaning on Thee, my God, guided along the road,
Nothing between.

~ Horatious Bonar, 1866

Book Review: When Christ Was Here

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I’ve been privileged and blessed to hear Claudia Barba speak a few times, so when I saw she had written a book called When Christ Was Here: a Woman’s Bible Study, I was happy to order it. I was just finishing the gospels in my reading through the Bible, so the book was timely for me.

Claudia opens with the importance of studying the doctrine of Christ’s incarnation, because “every false religion is an open denial or some sort of distortion of this doctrine” (p. 1). The first chapters study the claims and testimony in Scripture about Jesus’s deity, then one chapter is devoted to His humanity. The remaining chapters focus on Jesus and different types of people (His earthly family, the self-righteous, social and moral outcasts, people in pain, people who fail, the discouraged) and different situations (trials and temptation), because, she points out, “You need to know how He lived on earth because you are commanded to live as He lived. “He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (I John 2:6).

Much of the book was familiar territory (I had forgotten until halfway through the book that Claudia’s father, Dr. Otis Holmes, had been the professor for my Life of Christ class in college! Though I can’t remember specifics from the class, I am sure its truths became a part of my thinking.)  But it was good to go over it again: we’re instructed often in Scripture to remember what we’ve been taught, and if we don’t, all too often we can veer off the straight path of Scripture.

Some thoughts were new to me, though, or opened my understanding a bit more.

For instance, in John 5:19, Jesus said, “Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.” Claudia comments, “He was not saying that He did not have adequate power alone but that because of their essential union, He could not act independently of His Father” (p. 15).

A particularly interesting chapter was the one on Jesus’s earthly family. “Doesn’t it seem strange that those who lived so closely with Jesus did not believe on Him? Even His example of perfect holiness in daily living was not enough to bring belief to their hearts. Their rejection says nothing at all about Him but everything about them” (p. 40). This should be enlightening in considering “lifestyle evangelism,” the thought of just being a witness by our godly lifestyles without verbally witnessing: even a perfect lifestyle does not convert people (though our lives must back up what we believe). I am sure Jesus spoke truth to His family as well as living it, and thankfully some of them did come to believe on Him after the resurrection, and I am sure His godly life as well as the words He had spoken had new meaning to them then.

Another eye-opening section to me in the chapter on moral outcasts had to do with Simon and the woman known as a sinner who washed His feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, and anointed them with ointment from an alabaster box (from Luke 7).

Simon had thought that Jesus didn’t recognize the real sinner in the room. But He did, of course. It just wasn’t the one Simon thought it was! (p. 74).

There’s irony here, for the sinner is praised as a saint, and the “saint” is exposed as the real sinner (p. 74).

Simon loved little, not because he had fewer sins, but because he thought he didn’t need forgiveness (p. 75).

This was the first time it dawned on me that when Jesus said, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little” (Luke 7:47), the point was not just her great sin which had been forgiven: it was also that Simon had great sin as well, but he just didn’t realize it. It’s not that her sins were big and his were little: it was that she loved much because hers were forgiven, but he didn’t love much (he didn’t even extend the common courtesies of the day to Jesus) because his sins weren’t forgiven because he had not acknowledged them.

In “Jesus and People in Pain,” part of the chapter deals with Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus died, and Jesus had not come to them when they sent word that Lazarus was sick. “[Jesus] doesn’t delay because He doesn’t know, doesn’t love, or doesn’t care. His delays are for our good. They are designed to accomplish much greater purposes’ (p. 82).

In “Jesus and People Who Fail”:

Jesus allowed Peter to be sifted as wheat (Luke 22:31). This is not the sort of sifting of flour you are familiar with. It’s a winnowing process, the tossing of grain in a bowl that allows the breeze to blow away the chaff (hulls, dust), and leave behind only the good grain. The Lord let Satan “shake up” Peter through this failure, and as a result, much fleshly self-reliance was filtered from his character. (p. 99)

If you have failed, don’t despair. Repent and begin again! But never forget what you are capable of, and use your experience to help others (p. 101).

That phrase “never forget what you are capable of” is most sobering to me. That is one good thing that comes out of failure, though: the reminder of what we’re capable of when we lean on our own strength instead of His, the reminder of how we need to stay every close to Him and in His Word and to rely on Him to keep us.

From “Jesus and Temptation”:

Temptation is not designed to make you fail or give you an excuse to sin. Instead, it is an opportunity for you to find the way of escape, to glorify God by defeating Satan. (p. 130).

If you are looking for a rich, meaty Bible study, if you feel the need to “turn your eyes upon Jesus,” this book is for you.

(This review will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Our relationship with God

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Our relationship with God is portrayed by many different metaphors. Some relate directly to God the Father, some to Christ. Some might seem to contradict each other, but they are all facets of that relationship. Books could be (and have been) written about many of these categories, but here are just a few verses about each one.

Father/children:

John 1:12-13: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

I John 3:1: Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.

John 3:3: Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Galatians 4:6: And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.

Bride/Bridegroom:

Isaiah 61:10: I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

Revelation 21:2: And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Shepherd/Sheep:

John 10:11: I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

John 10:14: I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

Isaiah 53:6: All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

The characteristics of a sheep and the care given by the shepherd makes for fascinating study.

Savior/sinners:

Luke 1:47: And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

Titus 2:13-14: Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

King/subjects:

Colossians 1:13:  Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son.

Matthew 25:31-33: When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Teacher/ disciple:

Multitudes of verses about this one.

Relatives of Christ:

Mark 3:35: For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.

Friends:

John 15:14-15: Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Master/servant:

Whoa, wait a minute. Is that even politically correct? And doesn’t that contradict John 15:14-15, quoted just above?

We’re not servants in the sense of being captured and chained and made slaves against our will. We’re not even really servants in the sense of a quiet butler or housekeeper who do their duties as silently and invisibly as possible. Paul wrote in Galatians 1 about the difference between being sons and servants. Yet in many of his epistles he identified himself as the servant of Christ.He called Epaphras a “servant of Christ.” In Romans 6 he talked about being a servant to whatever we yield ourselves to. I Corinthians 9:19 sheds some light when he says, “For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.” Galatians 5:13 says, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

Jesus was the primary example of a servant. He is called a servant in Old Testament prophecies. Though identifying Himself as Lord and Master, he washed his disciples feet (John 13) and told His disciples to follow His example (vv. 14-15). Philippians 2:5-8 tells us “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

There is an illustration in Deuteronomy about a slave who was given his freedom but out of love chose to stay and serve his master. I think that’s the picture of the type of servants we are. God is the Lord and Master of the universe: He could easily make us do whatever He wanted us to. But He wants us to serve Him with willing and loving hearts.

I don’t mean to be silly or irreverent, but I see glimpses of this in Star Trek or war movies. When you see the captain barking out orders, those under him (usually) willingly obey because they trust him and they are all working for the good of the whole crew. Yet because he cares for them, his relationship with them is more than just giving orders.

A visiting preacher once told of a friend who was on an airplane and noticed that one of the flight attendants was especially attentive, thoughtful, courteous, and went the extra mile in meeting her passenger’s needs. Exiting the flight, he told he he really appreciated the way she took care of her passengers, ending by saying, “You have a real servant’s heart.” In my circles that’s a compliment, but we have to be careful about our “Christian cliches” and the way others might misunderstand them. This woman smiled and appreciated his comments until he said the word “servant,” then she bristled and said she was most definitely not a servant. I can understand that reaction with the negative connotation associated with that word in the world. But she truly was serving, in the best of ways, and we can and should as well, thinking of others’ needs before our own.

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

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Some of you might recall the line in the hymn “Come Thou Fount” which says, “Here I raise mine Ebenezer — hither by Thy help I’m come,” and you might know that it echoes 1 Samuel 7:12: “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Till now the Lord has helped us.’” You can read more of the background on this story here.

Do Not Depart is calling for some modern day Ebenezer stories: those situations in your life when you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the Lord who helped you, those seeming “coincidences” that you knew were really evidence of God’s hand at work.

Here are a few of my Ebenezers:

  • A move during junior high led to a school that was extremely cliquish. Sometimes people toss that word around lightly when they’re feeling a little lonely, but this school had definite, well-defined cliques with very little interaction between them, and I didn’t seem to be accepted in any of them. I’d had a circle of friends before, so I wasn’t sure what the problem was. I had a crush on one guy in the most “cool” group, but of course he and that group were impossible dreams. In later years I found out it was God’s great mercy that kept me from getting “in” with that crowd as they were involved in a number of things that would have been detrimental to me.
  • When I was 15, my parents divorced. It had not been a happy home for years, but the break-up of a family still hurts deeply. Besides that, we were moving from our very small town to the teeming metropolis of Houston, I was leaving my friends and all that was familiar and going into the unknown right in the middle of high school, and I was told I would not be allowed to contact my friends or relatives for a while because my mom was afraid of my father finding us and what he would do if he did. I laid on my bed clinging for dear life to Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Even though I had only a surface understanding of that verse, God honored that faith and fulfilled His Word. As a result of all those changes I began seeking Him earnestly, God led to a Christian school and a good church, I heard about the college where I would one day attend and find my husband.
  • After we moved, when we visited the high school I was to attend, I was convinced I could never go there for various reasons. We didn’t know what the alternatives could be, but we saw an ad for a Christian school. We visited and interviewed, and I wanted to go, but my parents could not afford the tuition. One day we drove to the school to tell them I wouldn’t be able to come. My mom went in, and I stayed in the car. The pastor and his wife drove up, saw me, and came over and told me someone offered to pay my way that year, and someone anonymously did the next year as well. It was through this school and church that I got stabilized in my faith in Christ and grounded in His Word.
  • My parents could not pay for college, either, but through various means God got me through five years at a Christian university. Lots of Ebenezers there! But one stands out: an offering from my Sunday School class at my home church allowed me to buy some necessities like deodorant and toothpaste. Coming back to my dorm room, I heard our hall was having a party and everyone was asked to contribute a dime for ice cream and toppings. I had literally only one dime left. As I gave it, I began to feel panicky about not having any money at all to my name. Then God reminded me of the offering just given. He was taking care of me in big and small ways.
  • One Christmas Eve morning shortly after our first anniversary, we were driving from SC, where we lived, to visit my family in TX. Our car broke down near Biloxi, MS. It was an old German car called an Opel, and when we’d had problems with it before, it took weeks to fix because the parts were hard to find. I wasn’t sure how everything was going to work out now, how we’d get home and then get back to get the car, etc. My husband found a phone booth (no cell phones in those days), and found a random mechanic with a tow truck in the yellow pages. He explained the problem and then said something like, “By the way, it’s an Opel, so it might be a problem to get parts for it.” The mechanic answered, “No problem — we just bought out the local Opel dealership.”
  • I could heap up a whole pile of Ebenezers from my experience with transverse myelitis, but I’ll share just one: when I was scheduled for an MRI, everybody kept asking me if I was claustrophobic. I wasn’t sure (nowadays I would say, “YES!”), but their questions were making me nervous. I was told the day before that I would have to be very still for the procedure, which I think lasted the better part of an hour. The day before, in my Daily Light on the Daily Path devotional book, all the verses were about being still. A few of them: Ruth 3:18: Sit still, my daughter; Psalm 46: 10: Be still, and know that I am God; Psalm 4:4: Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still (more are here). Those verses kept running through my mind while I was in the MRI machine, and God kept me very calm: I even dozed off.
  • When my son was planning to be married in OK and we were making plans to drive there and back from SC, my husband planned to rent a U-Haul there in OK to bring back our new daughter-in-law’s furniture and the wedding presents. But U-Haul wouldn’t rent to him because someone with his type of car had sued them once before because of some problem. We couldn’t find any other rental options in OK, so we ended up having to rent a trailer from a local business and take it with us there and back. Everything was fine on the return trip until the trailer blew a tire. I don’t even remember where we were at the time — some stretch of Interstate between cities. We tried calling AAA, but they don’t deal with tires on rental trailers. Thankfully my oldest son had a data plan on his phone and looked up local businesses and found a Wal-Mart a few exits up. But we’d have to unhitch the trailer and leave it while we went for the tire. I remember looking out the window and praying that my kids would see God’s hand in this. We were nervous about leaving the trailer there alone, but we also didn’t want to leave any one of us alone to guard it while everyone else went to Wal-Mart. I was praying fervently that no one would break into it and steal any of my son’s and daughter-in-law’s things. When we went to Wal-Mart, they were just closing their tire service center and didn’t really want to let us in, but we explained the situation, and they did. Meanwhile we got a call from our newly-married son, on his way East on his honeymoon trip: “Dad…did you leave the trailer on the side of the road?” They were passing by just at that time and saw it. We explained what had happened, and they circled back to stay with the trailer while we got the new tire, then we went back, put the new tire on, and went to get something to eat together. Though it’s a bit unconventional to go out to eat with one’s parents on one’s honeymoon, there were so many evidences on God’s hand at work in this situation: if we had rented a generic trailer, Jason would not have recognized it as the one we had and wouldn’t have called about it; if they hadn’t been passing that way at that time, they wouldn’t have seen it; if we had been even a few minutes later, we wouldn’t have gotten into Wal-Mart, and as our other calls hadn’t led to any other options, we would have had to spend the night in town and leave the trailer out on the Interstate all night.

There have been so many other situations…wrecks narrowly averted, running late and coming upon the scene of an accident that might have been mine if I’d been on time, financial needs met right at the needed time, finding something that was lost after earnest prayer about it, praying for wisdom and receiving it, a word of encouragement at just the right moment, something from the Word that was just exactly what I needed for the day. I am so thankful for His loving, intimate, wonderful care!!

 Help me, O Lord my God: O save me according to thy mercy:
That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou, Lord, hast done it.
Psalm 109:26-27

Tension

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A news item on this radio this morning about opposing viewpoints sparked a memory.

Some years ago, in  different town and church from where we are now, my husband had spoken to the pastor privately about what we sensed as a subtle shift. It wasn’t a major problem at that point, but if it continued it would lead to a major drift from the church’s position as it was when we had first come. The pastor graciously heard him, and at some point made the comment that the church needed the more conservative members to keep it from going too far and the more adventurous members to keep it from being stuck in the status quo.

I hadn’t thought about that before, but the idea came up again in a series at the same church on spiritual gifts. Everything I had ever read or any little “test” I had taken before all concentrated on you and finding out what your gifts are, but this particular study went further and studied the issue from various angles. One angle was the potential clash between people with various gifts.

There is a certain tension between opposing viewpoints: those who want change vs. those who want sameness; those whose natural stance is “Let’s do it now!” vs. those who who say, “Let’s think about it first.” This tension between opposing viewpoints, personalities, and gifts can exist in government, families, churches, clubs, any organization of more than one person.

But it’s not all bad. It keeps us in balance. It helps us consider other sides of issues, other consequences to actions. It helps expose our own weaknesses.

Years ago when a very big, important issue came up for a church vote, and everyone voted “yes” with no discussion, the pastor was concerned that people hadn’t really taken time to consider the issue. He would rather have the discussion out then rather than later on after action had been taken. He wanted unity, yes, but not “yes men” who do whatever the leadership thinks without thinking on their own. That can backfire: a dear pastor friend was voted out for “running the church into debt” when of course he had not done so singlehandedly. His church had voted every step of the way to all the projects being voted on, yet when crunch time came they blamed the leader. Most good leaders would much rather have the discussions, questions, doubts, etc., out on the table and have an opportunity to work them out ahead of time and then approach the action with unity, than to have everyone seem to be in unity at first and then fragment afterward.

In the area of spiritual gifts, those with the gift of mercy might be moved with compassion and immediately want to help in a certain situation while others with the gift of discernment want to hold back and check into the situation a little more thoroughly first. They keep each other in balance. That’s one of many reasons a church is made up of people with varying gifts working together as a whole. If a church’s members all had the gift of mercy, it would likely go bankrupt soon as it ran out of funds. If a church’s members all had the gift of evangelism, it would have a lot of new members but not much depth if there were none gifted to teach. Yet those different giftings and emphases can cause tension between them.

I’m thinking that the tension between two opposing forces might be the essence of balance (if my physics major husband were here, I would ask him). Think of a plane flying: there is the pull of gravity to keep it from flying off into space, but the tension of speed, wind, and air currents to enable it to fly. There is tension in a sewing machine to enable the threads from top and bottom to secure the fabric between: a tension set too tight or too loose causes problems. There is a certain tension in gears and machinery.

Within Christendom, we’re called to love those with an opposing viewpoints (I’m talking here about Christians with the same bedrock doctrinal truths who might differ in other ways, not taking a soft stance on false doctrine, though of course we’re to love folks in that situation, too, yet  love God’s truth enough to defend it), to remember they belong to the same God and the same family we do and to remember that we need each other and that God made us each with all our differences. We can, or should be able to, air differences of opinion without the heat and hatefulness the world displays. When the tension is set the right way, we keep each other in balance.

The real problem with Facebook

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From time to time I see articles or blog posts saying there is a downside to Facebook in that it can make us depressed or at least miserable. Why? Because everyone’s life supposedly seems happier than ours.

I don’t know about anyone else’s Facebook experience, but mine is a wide variety, People post funny observations, family news, interesting quotes or links to articles they’ve found valuable. Some use it to vent frustrations. Some post hymns or Scripture or prayer requests: one friend who was in the hospital Easter day said the songs, quotes, and Scriptures everyone shared were a help to her as she missed being in church that day.

But even if it were true that people felt miserable because everyone else on Facebook had more or better “stuff,” more friends, seemed happier, got more comments or “likes,” may I humbly suggest that the problem isn’t Facebook? The problem is in our own hearts.

The Bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice. If someone got a new job or house or whatever, good for them!

Same with someone who seems to have more friends. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). If you want more friends, take the initiative and be friendly to others. And I don’t say that lightly: I’ve always been shy and introverted and had a hard time initiating friendships. But though it is hard, it is not impossible. Sometimes we have to extend ourselves beyond our comfort zones.

If people only seem to post “happy thoughts,” know that they do have their down times as well as anyone else. Be glad, in fact, that they don’t post every little mundane thing. I had one FB friend who did that and I had to adjust which of her posts I saw because I was being flooded with her plans for the day, itinerary, what she was making for dinner, etc., etc., several times a day.

Whatever gifts, talents, or possessions we have, someone else is always going to have more or better. The Bible does warn us about envy, calling it a mark of carnality. It also warns us about comparing ourselves with each other.

These reactions aren’t new or exclusive to Facebook, of course. Facebook is just a microcosm of how people think and react. One of my closest early married friends used to constantly compare herself unfavorably to others. She thought her home, her clothes, everything, in her eyes, was less nice than other people’s. That’s not really humility. It can be a symptom of discontentment. I don’t know what it was in her case, but I am fairly sure that no one else looked on her that way. She was generally thought of as a sweet, warm, creative person. We were all in a state of “early-married poverty,” as I call it, and none of us had  heaps of nice things. But even if one of us had…that’s between them and the Lord. If He allowed them those things, then they’re stewards of them. And even if other people do actually flaunt what they have, that’s a problem in their hearts and shouldn’t be a problem in ours.

Besides feeling that other people have more or nicer things, sometimes we feel other people accomplish so much more than we do. I had trouble with that with another close early-married friend. We were both married with a child or two. But she worked part-time, was active in various church ministries, sewed for her family and home, her house was not only clean every time I was there but nicely decorated. Meanwhile I felt like I was fighting to keep my ahead above water. Often I asked myself how she did it and why I couldn’t. Once her family had ours over for dinner. I don’t know if she sat still more than five minutes at a time: she was constantly up and down, getting something, doing something with the children, doing a little here or there. I thought, if that’s what it takes to get as much done as she does, not only would I never be in her league, but I didn’t want to be. Honestly, as a guest I would much rather have had her sit down and visit with me: it was not a very restful visit to have the hostess constantly on the move. I’m not condemning her: I just realized we were very different personalities, and that was okay. No one was comparing me to her or thinking I should be like her except me, and I learned to stop it. 🙂 There was much I could learn from her, but I didn’t need to try to be just like her or beat myself up because I wasn’t.

Another time when I learned that a man who had been a younger college classmate a couple of decades ago was about to become a college president, at first all I could think was, “Wow. A college president, and he’s younger than I am. So what have I been doing with my life?” Well, I was raising children, keeping my home, ministering in various ways. Our callings were different from each other, neither necessarily better than the other in themselves.

If we’re doing what God wants us to do, we don’t need to feel inferior to anyone else, and we need to stop being preoccupied with comparing ourselves to others. If someone else accomplishes more because they’re more diligent, better managers of their time and efforts., etc., we can learn from them and be inspired  to make whatever changes we need to, but we don’t need to sit in a corner feeling sorry for ourselves.

If Facebook truly makes someone miserable for these reasons, perhaps it would be best to give it up. But a better approach might be to go to it without comparing ourselves and our status to anyone, seeking to be a blessing to others, grateful for and content with the gifts and life God has given.

Focus makes a difference

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Tim Challies has posted a 3 part series on envy this week, and a sentence in the last post stood out to me: this principle is true in regard to any sin:

A mistake you might make is to focus on Envy itself, waking up each day and declaring, “Today I will not envy.” Instead of focusing on not sinning, orient yourself toward obeying God’s commands and especially the commands that are completely opposed to Envy, which is to say, the commands that motivate love.

What a difference that makes in combating sin. In Erwin Lutzer’s How to Say No to a Stubborn Habit (linked to my review), he used the illustration of trying not to think of the number 8, which results in not being able to think of anything but the number 8. If I want to stop thinking of the number 8, I need to actively think about something else.

I was beating myself up for overeating a snack yesterday and wondering how to combat that. This morning I read, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (I Corinthians 6:20). Instead of thinking of what I am not supposed to eat, and therefore being preoccupied with it, I need to think about how to glorify God in my body.

The Scriptures are filled with examples of pursuing the right things rather than just being preoccupied with avoiding the wrong things.

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (II Timothy 2:22).

But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him…Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:8-14).

I don’t know if that helps you as much as it does me, but focus really does make a difference.