Category Archives: Family

Big changes coming….

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I’ve mentioned a few times that there were some possible big changes coming for our family. I so appreciate those of you who prayed as we tried to discern the Lord’s will. We’ve come to decisions and can talk about them publicly now. I’ll let you know what’s happening up front, and then go back to how we came to those decisions.

1. Jim, Jesse (youngest son), Grandma, and I are moving from western South Carolina to eastern Tennessee this summer.

2. Jeremy (oldest son) is moving to Rhode Island at the end of the summer.

Over the last couple of years my husband has been working out of town more than days at home, and for over a year now has been working 4-5 days a week in TN. His company has wanted him to move for years, but we’ve resisted because we’d like to wait until our youngest was out of high school rather than have to have him transfer from the school he has been with since K-5.

But a good look at what is best for our family leads us to feel that it would be better for us to be together rather than separated as much as we have been. We all went up to TN over spring break to interview at a Christian school, look at the area, at houses, churches, etc. At first 4-5 days in a hotel seemed like a lovely break for me — no cooking or dishes to wash, someone else to make beds and pick up wet towels, etc. But after just that amount of time, hotel living got old. I can’t imagine how Jim has been doing this for so long. Plus we’ve seen with our older boys just how quickly time passes and how soon they’re grown, and we feel it’s best to be all together as a family for Jesse’s last few years at home rather than having Dad here only for weekends and holidays.

So with all of that and a few other considerations, we decided to make the move. We’ve been house-hunting, and how all of that works out will determine when we actually move. Jesse’s new school starts mid-August, and we’d like to be settled before that. I’d appreciate your prayers for that — as much as we research, only the Lord really knows what all the issues are with the house, what the neighborhood is like, etc. Years ago when we faced our first major move, I came across this verse in my Daily Light reading, and it was a great comfort in knowing that God was preparing the way before us: “the LORD your God…Who went in the way before you, to search you out a place to pitch your tents in” (Deuteronomy 1:32b-33a). (When I first showed that to Jim, he said, “Does that mean we’ll be living in tents?” Funny, dear. 😀 I hope not, anyway!)

When we first began to entertain the idea that we really might move, Jesse was of course less than thrilled about leaving his school and friends, and that’s what is the hardest aspect for us as well. But as I had devotions with him most nights, we prayed for the Lord’s will, for wisdom, and for grace to deal with whatever the Lord might have for us. And I think the Lord has worked that grace into his heart. Though still not thrilled with the idea, he’s not morose or gripy or complaining. He has accepted it with a good attitude (and is even excited about his bedroom situation if we get the house we want!) He has never had any trouble making friends, so I think he will adjust to a new school and youth group well, though I am praying about that as well and not taking it for granted. This will be the first major bump in the road he has had to deal with in his short life, and as such I am glad we can go through it together and help him with it.

Jeremy is 25 and has been wanting to move out and start life on his own as an adult, but just hasn’t known what he really wanted to do. We had hoped he would move with us: we’ll be near Knoxville, and we felt there would be a lot more opportunity there than here. But in the meantime he learned that a friend in Rhode Island had a job opening in his company, and as he inquired into it further, it sounded like something he’d like to do, and his friend told him the job was his if he wanted it. In all honesty, I am having a lot harder time with his move than ours. He will be our first one to actually move so far away. None of our kids has been away from home more than a summer, but Jeremy has never been away from home for more than a week at a time. But this is the first opportunity he has been really excited about, so we’re excited for him while still adjusting mentally and emotionally to it all. He’s not moving til the end of August, and he and his dad are going up to RI in a few weeks to look at apartments.

This will make things even harder for Jesse, though, because he and Jeremy do a lot together.

We did talk with Grandma about the possibility of moving when it first came up, and beyond reassuring her that she would come with us, it didn’t seem to faze her. But she would forget about it in between times of discussing it, so we finally decided not to bring it up again until a couple of weeks before we move. That may be harder to do now that we’ve made it public at church. She really likes where she is and doesn’t like change at all, but I have to think this move can’t be nearly as traumatic as when we moved her here from her home of 30 years in ID a couple of years ago, and the Lord really gave her a lot of grace for that. Jim did scout out one assisted living facility he really liked near his job site, but we’re waiting on making a decision there til we know where we’re going to live.

That leaves Jason and Mittu. We’re trying to talk them into moving to TN with us. They eventually want to go into a camp ministry and are just working now to pay off school bills before they can do that. They’ve been looking for better jobs, so it is a possibility they could join us there. For now it looks like they’ll likely be moving into our house here, working on painting and various repairs to help us get it ready to sell.

As parents of course we’ve known that some day our kids would probably go further away from home as they became adults, but it seems ironic that our decision to move is becoming the impetus for that to happen. We’re really going to miss Sunday dinners and pizza and video nights and just the easy access to call each other up and get together. Hopefully we’ll be able to coordinate visits where we’ll all be able to be together again at times. We’ll be only three hours away from Jason and Mittu, so they’d be pretty easily able to come up when they have a couple of days off together (though I know they’ll have other things they want to do with time off than take a trip). It will probably be a little harder for Jeremy to get there, but I hope at least at Christmastime we can all be in one spot together.

Another aspect of all of this is dealing with change in the various ministries we’re involved in at church, particularly the ladies’ group. I have been feeling for some time like it might be time for a change, that I had taken it about as far as I could and it was time for someone new, but I was wrestling with whether those feelings were from the Lord or whether I was just being “weary in well-doing” and needed to get a renewed vision and passion for it. I have to think now that those feelings were the Lord’s preparations for this move. I’ve had several ideas buzzing in the back of my mind for other writing, a web site, an Etsy store….I’ll have to wait til the dust settles after our move and see what the Lord would have me pursue in any of those directions. We have found a church there that we’re very excited about, and will see what opportunities are available there. Back to the ladies’ group here, I know several ladies who could take it, but I don’t know who might be willing. Thankfully, finding a replacement is not my responsibility. 🙂 But I am concerned and am praying about that as well.

So…I think that catches you up to date with us and covers all the bases, or most of them. As you think of us, I’d appreciate your prayers for this new phase in our lives.

Flashback Friday: Extended Family Memories

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Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Tell about any grandparents, cousins, or other extended family that was special to you growing up. Did they live near you or some distance away? Do you have any particular childhood memories (good OR bad!) of times spent with your grandparents? With your cousins? Did you spend holidays with them? At whose house did you generally gather? Do you still keep up with cousins, aunts & uncles, etc.? Did your paternal relatives and maternal relatives know and get along with each other?

My mother’s mother passed away when I was about 4. I have a dim memory of talking with her once about her colostomy bag — she had cancer that spread throughout her lower region. My mom said that when I asked about it, she (my mom) was embarrassed and tried to divert me, but my grandmother just answered me very matter-of-factly (which is usually what most kids want.) I was very pleased to receive some of my grandmother’s things, like a autograph book she had during school days, after my mom passed away.

My mom’s father was tall, skinny, and had a distinctive laugh — his laugh is probably what I remember most about him. He loved to joke and tease. We lived in the same town, and even actually lived with him for a while during my childhood — my brother was born unexpectedly in his house (my mom had been told by her doctor that day that she would not deliver yet — but she did, and so fast they couldn’t get out the door.) We eventually moved to another town, and in later years when he remarried, whenever he and his wife drove up to our house to visit, he always brought a box of Dunkin’ Donuts. No matter when I got up in the morning while he was there, my grandfather and mom were already up in the kitchen, drinking coffee and talking. His second wife developed arteriosclerosis and deteriorated mentally, but he cared for her himself. One time when he was persuaded to leave her in something like an adult day care for a short while, when he came to pick her up, they had her strapped down. I don’t remember if she was trying to find him or what, but he never left her again. Though he was not what you would describe as warm or affectionate, I thought this was one of the greatest examples of sacrificial love I have ever known of. This wife passed away as well, and several years later he ended up living with my aunt, who was single, but she was at work all day and he wouldn’t take his medicines or eat right and finally had a series of small strokes. He recuperated in a hospital until Medicare would not pay any more and then had to transfer to a nursing home. Everyone was depressed about that for a while, but when he recovered well enough to leave, he decided to stay: He had made friends, had his meals and medicines taken care of, and found more to do than sit in front of the TV all day. He volunteered for a program to answer the phone as Santa to kids who called in to a special number. I can imagine he would have been great at that. I wonder how many kids associate his distinctive laugh with Santa. The last time I saw him was at a family reunion over twenty years ago — he passed away a year or two later, in his 80s.

My father’s father passed away before I was born. My father’s mother was the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago in summer memories: the “galloping Grandma” who would drive to see all her kids in TX, LA (Louisiana), and AL during the summer and took me with her a few times. She never remarried. She went back and forth between living in TX and LA. When she lived near us, I often went to spend the night with her, and one of my fondest memories is both of us staying up late reading. Sometimes I would go with her to visit her sister, Jewel, in another town. Jewel had one arm that was paralyzed but had a garden, and she and my grandmother loved cooking fresh vegetables. My Grandmother loved to crochet and whenever she was sitting still for long, she had her yarn and crochet hooks going. She could be a little sharp and critical sometimes, but overall I have fond memories of her.

I am fortunate to have cousins my age on both sides. Until I was 13, we lived in the same town as my mom’s sister and her family, with one girl cousin a year younger. The father’s side of this cousin’s family was somewhat well-to-do, and this cousin got things like a Barbie Dream House, Susie Homemaker oven (with which you could make REAL cakes!), and her own TV — all things that were beyond my realm, so, yes, I was a little jealous. One time when I went to church with their family, I didn’t have any money to put in, so I wrote something on a piece of paper — I don’t remember if it was an “IOU” or what — but my cousin’s other grandmother took it out. 😦 But overall my cousin and I got along well. Her mom was the aunt for whom I am named.

I only saw my Louisiana cousins occasionally, maybe once or twice a year, but there were three girls in that family, one my age, one a year older, and one a year younger — and all of our birthdays were in August. I think I’ve told before of one birthday we celebrated all together. At their place we road bikes all over creation, and their mom had a distinctive way of whistling so that we could hear her from a pretty good distance away and know it was time to come home.

I hear about my TX cousin from her mom occasionally, but the LA side of the family just doesn’t keep in touch any more since the dad, my father’s brother,and my own father passed away. I would guess my aunt probably remarried, but it would be nice to hear how they are all doing and where they are these days. Though there were several other cousins that I saw less often, those four were the ones I knew best and interacted with the most, and  some of my best childhood memories were with my cousins, who were some of my closest friends.

Flashback Friday: Siblings

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Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

The prompt for today is:

Do you have siblings? (If not, keep reading – I’ll get to you.) How many and are they boys or girls? Where do you fall in the birth order? How did you view your “spot” in the family compared with the others? If you are the oldest, did you resent the things the youngest got to do that you didn’t? If the youngest, what did you want to do like the older ones? And if you are more of a middle child, how did that impact you? How do you think your birth order shaped your personality? Did you and your siblings like each other growing up or did you fight all the time? Are you close now? Or at least friends with each other?! What memories stand out about you and your siblings?

If you are an only child, how did you like that? Were you glad to have all the attention or did you want to have a brother or sister? What advantages were there to being an only child? What disadvantages? Which side of the fence is greener?!

For everyone, did your sibling experiences (or lack thereof!) affect your decision to have kids or to have a certain number?

I am the oldest of six. The youngest was born when I was 17, and the first four of us are each 4 years apart, so we’re pretty spread out. I have one brother, next in age to me, and the rest are sisters. The youngest is actually my half-sister, but I rarely think of her that way — she is as much my sister as the others.

My parents were divorced when I was 15, and my brother spent most of his time with my dad, so with a big gap between me and my younger sisters, I felt more like an assistant mom than an older sister. We loved each other, but we didn’t have the close “BFF” relationship of many sisters closer in age (thus making it hard sometimes to choose birthday cards — most of them seem to come from that angle.) Once after marriage when my husband and I came home to visit, I was astonished that my then teen-age sisters picked me up, and they were all nearly grown, tall, confidant, beautiful. I felt, “I don’t even know these people!” But it has been fun getting to know them on an adult level.  When my mother was alive, we kept up with each other mostly through her. Since she passed away and with the rise of texting and Facebook, we keep up with each other directly more than ever before. I always enjoy when we get together.

I enjoyed being the oldest except for being the “built-in baby-sitter.” When my mother and step-father got together, they were understandably like newlyweds, going “out” together often. Plus we moved to Houston during the summer, and while they found jobs during the day time, I was home with the kids. I had to pretty much beg and plead to go anywhere or do anything. In retrospect, with that being a vulnerable time in my life, it was probably best that I wasn’t free to roam like other teen-agers: I might have ended up in a lot of trouble. I don’t really envy so much that my younger sisters had more freedom and less discipline, because I think the discipline was good for me, but I think I just wished at some point that my parents had understood how I felt.

But I did enjoy having special privileges that came with being the oldest, getting to do various things first, etc. Our home in Houston had two bedrooms besides the master, one very small and one very large. I got the small bedroom to myself and bunk beds were put in the larger room for my sisters. I loved having my own quiet private space! It became a tradition after I moved out that the oldest sister moved into that room, and as each one moved out, the next oldest sister moved into it.

I think I am your typical oldest child: responsible, dependable, serious (mostly), eager to please, preferring to avoid trouble, wanting to be “successful.” Some sources say that firstborns are “natural” leaders, and I have never felt like a leader. I’ve always preferred others to lead and I’d be a good helper. I also have tried very hard not to be a bossy know-it-all to my siblings.

Sadly, I have not heard from my brother in a long time. My mom had been paying for his cell phone, and after she passed away my step-father continued doing so until he just couldn’t any more. My brother was having financial problems and was not able to get his own phone. I assume he is at the same address — the Christmas card and letter I sent wasn’t returned to me — but I am not really sure how he is doing.

Here we all are at my wedding:

And at my mom’s house after her funeral almost five years ago, the last time we were all together:

I had never set a number on how many kids I wanted to have, but I was pretty sure I did not want a very large family. It seems to me that people who do the best with a lot of children are somewhat laid back in personality. There are a lot of pressures and a lot to keep up with the more children you have, and I have seen some people handle it all very admirably, and I know that if the Lord allowed that for us, He’d provide the grace (and finances!) to deal with it all. But I think my three were just the right number for me. Sometimes I do wish we’d had a fourth, and it had been a girl — but nowadays I am content to wait for grandchildren. 😀

Ramblings

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It’s a good thing we didn’t have any big plans for Memorial Day. We had thunderstorms all through Sunday night and rain most of Monday. Jesse was at a friend’s house, Jason was working, I was sick — so it was a pretty low-key day.

I had gotten some ham steaks to marinate and grill at some point over the long weekend, and thankfully we decided to do that Sunday after church rather then Monday. So good!

Between coughing, not being able to breathe through my nose, and multiple trips to the bathroom (drinking something through the day had helped my sore throat, but all that liquid intake caught up with me by evening) I didn’t get to sleep until some time between 2 and 3 this morning. I woke up some time after 8 and have given myself full permission to go back to sleep when I feel the urge.

But thus I am not terribly coherent this morning. 🙂 I have a book I want to tell you about — maybe later today, but maybe I’ll have to wait til I can do it justice.

Saturday was one of the busiest days we’ve had in a while. We were invited to three events, but could only attend two. Well, as far as the schedule goes, we could have fit in the third one between the other two, but in the stamina department we needed a little break before dashing off again. A company my husband worked for for thirteen years had a reunion at a lake Saturday afternoon. It was good for him to see old friends and catch up with folks. I didn’t know many of the people except by name, but I guess they knew me through Jim and made me feel welcome. Had some great barbecue and got a little sunburned. Then that evening, a niece who lives about 50 minutes away was having an open house — she and her husband of seven months just bought and built their own home. I also saw one of my sisters and another niece there. It’s kind of sad that part of my family lives less than an hour away and we don’t see them much, but everyone’s schedules are so different. It was good to touch base with them.

Friday (I seem to be working back through time in my retelling…) was Jesse’s last day of tenth grade with an awards program and giving out the yearbook with time to mingle and sign each others’. I wish they’d hand out the yearbook a few days earlier so there was more time for that, but, at any rate, it was a nice time for him. Now I am luxuriating in not having to set alarm clocks for 5 a.m.!

And I think that’s mostly it for our doings over the last few days. I have our ladies’ ministry booklet to work on this week and then want to sketch out a game plan for what I need to accomplish this summer.

Several weeks ago I had asked you to pray for some possible big changes for our family. Thanks to those who have, and I’d appreciate your continued prayers. We’re about 95% sure of which direction we’re going to take and should know in the next few weeks. There will be ripple effects throughout the family, some exciting, some scary — some both — as any change will bring. I’ll update you when I can!

Flashback Friday: Summer

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Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

This week’s question is:

What were summers like when you were a kid? Did your family have any particular traditions? Did you sleep ’til noon or get up early? Did you attend camps? Spend lots of time at the pool? Was it a neighborhood pool or in your backyard? Did you take swimming lessons? Did you live near a beach? (And do you call it the beach or the coast?!) Did you attend VBS (Vacation Bible School)? Did your library have a reading program that you participated in? What types of prizes were available? Did you get to buy treats from the ice cream truck? Did your family go on vacations? If so, what is a memorable one? Do you associate any particular songs with summer?

I remember most summers as being fairly laid back. We slept late, played with friends, rode bikes, had sleepovers, went to amusement parks. It was hot in southern Texas — I remember the whir of oscillating fans while trying to sleep and getting annoyed by the buzzing of mosquitoes close to my ear. I thought my aunt’s house with central air conditioning was quite luxurious. The city pool and the beaches at Padre Island were welcome relief. No swimming lessons, though: I still don’t know how to swim. I loved to read as a child, but I don’t remember if there were summer reading programs. Ice cream truck music was the highlight of a summer day.

Our family didn’t “go” and “do” much. We never went to vacation spots on vacation: we always took road trips to see relatives. I did attend VBS, Girl Scout camp, and later church camps.

Besides going to the beach, we didn’t really have any summer traditions except that on the Fourth of July my dad splurged on fire works. He always bought a few of the really big kind as well as sparklers, bottle rockets, etc.

One highlight of every summer was my birthday in August. School didn’t start until September when I was a child, so my late August birthday was kind of a last hurrah of the summer: when I was a sophomore school started actually on my birthday. I always liked that my birthday was in a month with no other major holidays.

Probably my most memorable summer activities involved road trips with my father’s mother. She had kids in Texas, Louisiana, and Alabama, and for several years she drove to visit them over the course of the summer. We used to call her the Galloping Grandma. 😀 I don’t know how many years I went with her as company or how long we were gone at a time. All but one family had cousins my age, so I had someone to play with at each spot. I remember feeling very special to travel with my Grannie. I also remember learning the hard way not to leave crayons in the car: they melted. Thankfully they were in a plastic case and didn’t ruin her car.

Thanks, Linda, for suggesting this trip down memory lane!

Randomness

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I was going to do the usual Wednesday Random Dozen today….but I could only come up with answers for about half the questions. Then my mother-in-law’s hearing aid suddenly stopped working, and I had to take her over to get it checked, and didn’t get back til lunch time. Then I was just tired and not feeling well for a good bit of the afternoon.

Thankfully her hearing aid revived with a thorough cleaning and changing the tube. I was afraid they were going to have to send it off for repairs, and she really can’t hear much of anything without it. We still have her old one somewhere, but it is not a lot of help. It’s hard to communicate and disconcerting to her when she can’t hear, so it was a blessing that that’s all that was needed.

She was thrown off a bit when I came in because she had forgotten I was taking her in (somehow the lack of hearing wasn’t a reminder…), and she went back and forth from apologizing for forgetting (though it was not a big deal at all — just a matter of waiting for her to use the restroom) to frustratedly saying, “I wish you had reminded me!” 🙂 We had talked about it and I had left her a note…but such is life at 81.

I love the hearing aid doctor’s medical building, though. They have people waiting at the door to assist people, and they’ll open the car door, bring out a wheelchair, and wheel her in while I go park the car and then come back to take her to the appropriate office. She usually uses a walker rather than a wheelchair, but that would be a bit too much of a walk for her.  Then when we’re done I can leave her in the lobby by the door in the wheelchair while I bring the car around, and they’ll wheel her out and help her into the car.

Whenever I take her anywhere other than home or church, she almost always comments about hoping I know the way or being glad I know the way, because she sure doesn’t. 🙂 I assure her in an upbeat way that yes, I’ve lived here for twelve years and and pretty familiar with the area. But she even did that when she flew with Jim to visit and then later to move here. Even though he is a seasoned traveler, she was all worried about finding the right gate instead of trusting him to find it. But instead of getting frustrated, he told her what gate he was looking for and asked her to help him find it, and that kept her mind occupied and off the worry cycle a little. I guess all of that conveys an understandable underlying insecurity of being ferried around unfamiliar places under someone else’s direction and control. I mentioned a while back logical thinking is one of the first things to go in dementia, in this case the logical thinking that we know the way, and if we didn’t, we could find it, and even if we got lost, we’d find our way home eventually. But, for all that, most of the time she thinks pretty clearly, except for repeating conversations we’ve already had. New unfamiliar situations do trigger more muddled or illogical thinking.

After I took her back to her assisted living place just in time for her lunch there, I looked forward to getting one of my favorite fast food lunches, a McDouble and small fries for $2.18. I love their fries. But when I got home, I had two burgers and no fries. 🙂 I ate one and put one in the frig.

Speaking of fries, when I buy the frozen ones to bake, I usually like the smaller cuts. But the last time I wanted them, they didn’t have them, so I got the regular crinkle cut kind. I just didn’t like them as well. So one day this week when I was using up the rest of them, I tried spraying them with Pam and sprinkling garlic powder, salt, and paprika on them. They weren’t too bad — they need something else, though…

Last night I made peanut butter Rice Krispie treats with melted chocolate and peanut butter chips on top. Mmmmmm…

Only a week and a half til school is out! Yay!

I am loving the last few episodes of Lost. It’s kind of like a good book that I can hardly put down for wanting to see how it turns out, but then I miss it when I am finished. I think the definite end date has helped the writing to be a lot tighter, but I am SO going to miss this show when it is gone.

I was dismayed when Daris was in the bottom two on the Biggest Loser. I have been rooting for him all season, I think because he reminds me of my oldest, in that he is quiet and somewhat reserved. They’ve all come so far, though — I wish them all the best.

Well, I think that’s about enough randonmness — and it is time to go fix dinner. See ya later!

A Mother’s Day Prayer

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I highly recommend For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms by Wendy Alsup at Practical Theology For Women. Here is a sampling:

Motherhood is not the greatest good for the Christian woman. Whether you are a mom or not, don’t get caught up in sentimentalism that sets it up as some saintly role. The greatest good is being conformed to the image of Christ. Now, motherhood is certainly one of God’s primary tools in His arsenal for this purpose for women. But it is not the end itself. Being a mom doesn’t make you saintly. Believe me. Being a mom exposes all the ways you are a sinner, not a saint. Not being a mom and wanting to be one does too. We may long to get pregnant, looking at motherhood from afar. God sanctifies us through that longing. We may lose a pregnancy or a child, and mourn the loss of our motherhood. God conforms us to Christ through that as well. We may have a brood of children of various ages, and heaven knows God roots sin out of our hearts that way. It’s all about THE greatest good, being conformed to the image of Christ – reclaiming the image of God that He created us to bear through gospel grace. And God uses both the presence and the absence of children in the lives of His daughters as a primary tool of conforming us to Christ.

I shared this last year, but it is on my mind again this year:

A Mother’s Day Prayer

God our Creator, I pray:
For new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility;
for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting;
for those who are tired, stressed, or depressed;
for those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family;
for those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty;
for those whose children have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities;
for those who have children that they do not want;
for those who raise children on their own;
for those who have lost a child;
for those who care for the children of others;
for those whose children have left home;
and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled.

Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender,
and that they may lead their children to know and to do what is good,
living not for themselves alone, but for God and for others.
Amen

Author Unknown

I am thankful for the mother I was blessed to have for 48 years (and I miss her sorely), my mother-in-law, older moms who have helped me along the way by their words and example, and those who call me mom.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts Friday’s Fave Five so we can share our favorite things from the last week. This has been a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God gives. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

1. Good results from the doctor. I mentioned last week taking a family member in for a procedure. We got the results back this week, and praise the Lord, it is not the big scary thing we most feared. There are still symptoms that we and the doctors need wisdom in dealing with, but we’re relieved and thankful that it is not as bad as it could have been.

2. A better week than last week, mentally at least. It hasn’t been as productive as I had originally planned, and I was under the weather a couple of days, but the “funk” I was in last week seems to have lifted. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!

3. Google. Though it seems, I don’t know, maybe a little silly to list it, it has been a major help to me in getting ready for the upcoming ladies’ luncheon. I can’t wait to show and tell you more about it, but I want to wait til afterward so as to keep everything as much of a surprise as possible to those attending. But I was thrilled this week when I had a general idea for favors for the younger girls (thank you, Lord!), and searching online yielded just the perfect resources needed to implement it.

4. Just the right temperatures and rain. I have to admit I am not a big fan of rainy days, though I know we need them for food and plants to grow, etc. But I appreciate them more this time of year when they wash the pollen out of the air and off everything outside.

5. My husband’s helpfulness. I’ve mentioned this last week that I can chafe sometimes when interrupted or asked to help with something when I had other things planned, though once I actually get started my attitude changes. But my husband has always very willingly and cheerfully pitched in anywhere needed. Since he works way more than 40 hours a week plus keeps up with yard work and general repairs around the house, I try not to ask for his help unless company is coming and I am in a time crunch. But when I do ask him to do something, he never acts irritated or put out. I can’t remember what I made a mess of in the kitchen last week, but he just pitched in taking care of the problem. And whenever the kids need assistance, as well, he makes his time and expertise  available to talk or fix something or help with a decision, etc. Of course, sometimes he is in the middle of something and has to ask us to wait, but his general attitude is one of willing and cheerful helpfulness and availability to his loved ones, which is both an example and a rebuke to me.

And hey, I didn’t even mention food this week! 🙂 Though I did make Congo Bars last night…

Congo bars

1/2 cup margarine
2 3/4 cup brown sugar
4 eggs
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 3/4 cups flour
1 to 2 cups chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt margarine and combine with brown sugar.Add eggs and beat well. Add dry ingredients and mix well. Spread mixture into a greased 11 x 15″ pan. Sprinkle choclate chips on top. Bake for 20-25minutes. Makes 2 dozen, depending on how you cut them. Chopped nuts can be added if desired.

I don’t know why they’re called that, and in trying to find a recipe to link to, I found all kinds of variations! But this one is pretty simple plus makes more than the usual 9 x 13 pan. Great for when you need to take cookies somewhere but want to leave some home for the family as well. Though I am not taking these anywhere….

Have a great weekend!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. My Swiffer Wet-Jet. No, this is not a paid product placement. It doesn’t totally eliminate the need for an occasional deeper cleaning, but it is great for a quick mop-up.

2. This bug zapper.

It smaller than a tennis racket but larger than a fly swatter, which is nice because that makes it easier to actually connect with the bug. You press a button on the side while swinging at a bug, and when it connects it zaps it. Jesse even saw smoke ascending from a wasp he zapped. 🙂 That may sound cruel, but it is probably better than drowning it in bug spray or whapping it with a fly swatter and having it flail around til someone can grab it with a tissue and flush it.

3. I know I mentioned Texas Sheet Cake last summer when Jeremy made one for my birthday last summer, but I had a hankering for it again, so I made one. So good. Officially my favorite cake. I need to find or figure out a way to make a smaller version, though. It makes a cake the size of a cookie sheet, and though it’s flat, it’s very rich. It was all too easy to cut off a little square every time I went into the kitchen. To cut it down to just enough for everyone to have one serving would be perfect.

4. Ladies who extend themselves to my mother-in-law. She is friendly when people speak to her but has never been one to initiate friendships. She’s uncomfortable around a lot of people and has always been content to have just a few special friends. So it has been nice since we moved her here that a few ladies at church make a special point to come over and hug her and talk with her, and a couple of them go to see her about once a week. That’s a blessing to us as well as to her.

5. Fun family conversations, especially when we’re all together. This was a while back, but Jeremy was showing us some of these photos resulting from a man who gets up in the wee hours of the morning to take pictures of sleeping bugs covered in heavy dew. Though the shots are amazing, Jason remarked how odd it would seem to be on a date with a girl and try to explain doing this for a living.

I wish I could remember the exact words, because the conversation was so funny, but it developed into a scenario of the guy then throwing water on the girl so he could take her picture and the date not ending well.

I love my family! ♥

And just one more: I know I have mentioned this before as well, but I am amazed and grateful that the Lord meets our needs for the day so aptly in His Word. I was reading something a while back about how the writer preferred church services that were spontaneous and wanted the preacher to say whatever came to him at the moment rather than studying and planning ahead, as if the only way the Holy Spirit works is by spontaneity, giving someone what they need in the moment. He may do that sometimes, but He also works through preparation, planning, and study as we seek Him through the whole process. And this is a perfect example, when a passage I am reading in the course of progressing through the Bible, written thousands of years ago, or a devotional book written decades or even hundreds of years ago, has exactly what I need today when no one but the Lord could have known what my particular needs for the day would have been. Marvelous!

Happy Friday, and I hope you have a great weekend!

Flashback Friday: Funerals

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Mocha With Linda has begun a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.

This week she writes:

I’ve had our bloggy friend Lidna on my heart as she is grieving the loss of a dear friend. And while I don’t want this to be a gloomy or painful Flashback Friday, I thought it would be interesting to reflect on how we experienced grief in our early years.

How old were you (approximately) when you attended your first funeral? Did your parents shield you from death and grief or was it viewed as a natural part of life? Did you experience any significant loss(es) in your growing up years? What were your early impressions of death and dying? And while I do not intend this in any irreverent way, are there any amusing memories associated with a death or funeral? If you have kids, how have you handled this subject with them? Feel free to share as vulnerably or as shallowly as you want!

As always, the questions are simply suggestions to prompt your memory and give you a starting point. You don’t have to answer them specifically, but you are welcome to. I know there are likely some tender memories on this subject, and most of our FF’s will be more lighthearted, but both our fun and our serious memories have made us who we are today.

My mother’s  mother passed away when I was about 4, but I don’t remember much about her. I wasn’t taken to the funeral. My grief in relation to her is more from wishing I’d had a chance to get to know her better. A great uncle passed away when I was a little older, and I was not taken to his funeral either. I don’t really remember much from my childhood having to do with death, dying, or funerals.

I did not attend my first funeral until after I was married. Someone from our church had passed away, and I thought I would feel very uncomfortable going to the viewing and talking to people while a dead body was in the room, but it was fine. It was actually a kind of reassurance, in an odd way, that the person really was no longer there, that the body is just a shell and the real person had gone on. And I thought I would dread funerals, but they were actually wonderful opportunities to support one another and put everything into perspective.For a Christian, the Bible says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” Psalm 116:15 and that when we leave this body, we’re present with the Lord (II Corinthians 5:7-9.) As much as we would wish to have out loved ones back, to talk with them or hug them once more, we couldn’t wish them back to this world of sin and pain, away from the presence of the Lord. So we seek His grace while missing them, with the expectation that we’ll see them again. I can’t imagine not having that hope to hang onto.

I missed the funerals of both of my remaining grandparents: my last grandmother passed away on a Christmas Eve of a year when I had two small children, and the thought of taking a sudden trip at that time just seemed overwhelming. Then my last grandfather passed away a few years later when my own father was visiting and gravely ill, so I could not leave. At the time I consoled myself with the thought that the ones who had passed on weren’t really there, so they would not mind whether or not I came. But later I regretted not attending and having the opportunity to share those moments with my extended family.

The first funeral I attended of a close family member was my father’s several years ago, and then my mother’s just a few years ago. Though hard, my mother’s especially, is a precious memory. There were times that week I thought I would never make it through the events to come, but God wonderfully supplied His sustaining grace.

The only funny thing that I can recall was at my mother’s. The viewing was the night before the funeral, and the family arrived an hour before anyone else was scheduled to come to have a private time. For those of us coming from out of town, it was the first time to see my mom since our last visit; for those who had been at the hospital when she died, it was the first time they had seen her since that day. It was hard for us all. But after each having a moment to spend some time at my mom’s side, we all sat down on the couches in various states of tearfulness, and my mom’s sister said something that cracked us all up. I wish I could remember exactly what it was, but it was something like, “If you breathe through your mouth, you can’t cry.” It was just what was needed to change the mood in the room a little bit. Then she had her daughter read a very sweet tribute that she had written, which they asked my husband to read at the funeral the next day. Someone made a copy of it for all of us, and I keep it with the program from her funeral.

With my own children, we have always taken them with us to funerals. I felt that it was better to teach them how to deal with death than to shield them from it until it happened to someone they were particularly close to and have it then be a much harder experience. Though it is uncomfortable and no one likes death, it is actually therapeutic to visit with family and friends and to remind ourselves of the reality of heaven.