honoring mothers | Stray Thoughts

Mother’s Day is fraught with mixed emotions.

It’s good to honor mothers. The Bible does. One of the ten commandments tells us to honor our parents. Motherhood has taken a beating by society over the last several years. Moms carry a heavy load, often unseen and unappreciated. They need all the encouragement and support they can get.

But Mother’s Day is profoundly sad for others.

Some grieve the death of their children, or their estranged children or wayward children.

Some have mothers who are still here physically but far away mentally or emotionally, mothers who rarely, if ever, showed love, mothers who abandoned them, mothers who have died. For those who feel abandoned or unloved by parents, may you truly know “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up” (Psalm 27:10).

Some would love to be mothers, yet God has not granted that request. Mother’s Day only adds to their pain. I appreciate Wendy Alsup’s thought that “God uses both the presence and the absence of children in the lives of His daughters as a primary tool of conforming us to Christ.”

Some moms grieve that their families don’t acknowledge this day at all, and they feel more taken for granted than ever. Erin has some good advice for managing expectations.

Some downplay the day. They would rather have their family appreciate them year-round, not just on a certain designated day. And, true, it doesn’t make sense to disrespect someone every other day and then buy them flowers and a card on Mother’s Day. But I always look at special days in the same vein as Thanksgiving. Yes, we’re supposed to be thankful every day, but Thanksgiving reminds us of all we have to be thankful for. Jesus’ resurrection impacts our lives every day, but it receives special focus at Easter. So Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, or someone’s birthday are just opportunities to tell someone you love that you appreciate them.

For many, all the talk of ideal mothers on Mother’s Day makes them feel their failures all the more. They feel like “perfect mother,” or even “good mother,” are titles they can never aspire to. God took our faults and foibles into account when He made us mothers. He knows we’re made of dust. We confess our sins to Him and lean on Him moment by moment for grace and help and strength to mother as He wants us to. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

My mother and all of my older mother figures are gone now. I try to honor their memories. I am thankful for so many women who were examples to me and made me a better woman, wife, and mother. I hope I can encourage others as these ladies did me.

For those whose families show their love this day, and for those who have a mother to celebrate today, I wish you joy.

For those who sorrow, I pray for the peace that passes understanding. May His merciful kindness be for your comfort, according to His word unto you (Psalm 119:76).