There was a period of time in another church and state when I was sometimes late to services. One man in particular noticed and commented. For instance, one day when I walked in before the service started, he handed me a bulletin and said, “Once in a row!”

I honestly wasn’t late that often. I don’t know if he was teasing or meant his comments as a prod or jab. I don’t know why it didn’t anger or hurt me. I had to work with him in various capacities, so maybe subconsciously I didn’t want there to be trouble between us.

What he didn’t know was that during that time, I started developing IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time. I just knew I was having unexpected, unexplained digestive problems. No matter how much extra time I gave myself to get ready, I couldn’t count on my body cooperating with me.

Granted, I was sometimes late for other reasons. But all too often, my lateness was due to physical issues that I didn’t want to explain.

In fact, the pressure of trying to get there on time, not wanting to draw attention to myself, not wanting to distract anyone by being late, all made the physical issues worse.

Friends who have traveled to other countries talk about the different regard for time in various places. Seeing someone you know and stopping to talk to them is considered more thoughtful and respectful than rushing past them to get somewhere on time.

But in our Western culture, lateness is regarded as disrespect for those you’re meeting with and a lack of discipline.

And that’s often true. It is frustrating to go to a meeting that doesn’t start for fifteen to twenty minutes because several people weren’t there on time. Then the meeting gets done twenty minutes later than planned. Plus, people streaming in late can be distracting.

But sometimes it just can’t be helped.

Once in another church in another state, we were waiting on one of my sons to get done in the bathroom so we could leave for church. We lived in a split-level, and the door leading downstairs was open. As my son in the bathroom upstairs flushed the toilet, we saw water pour from that bathroom floor through the ceiling below in what was our laundry and workroom. The toilet had clogged, and I guess we had never told my son not to keep flushing the toilet in that case. Somehow we mopped up the mess and miraculously still made it to church on time. We hadn’t told anyone about our morning scenario, but the only thing I remember the guest speaker saying that day was “We just don’t know what it takes for some people to get to church.”

While we don’t want to have a casual attitude about arriving at church (or anywhere else) on time, we shouldn’t have an overly judgmental attitude, either.

Sometimes when I am running late due to stomach issues, especially in the first church I mentioned, I’ve thought, “You know, if I am late, everyone is going to notice. But not many will notice if I don’t show up at all. Maybe I should just stay home.”

I saw a meme recently that went something like this: The writer was late to church, and people scowled and frowned at him for disturbing the service. But when he was late to an AA meeting, everyone was concerned and asked, “Is everything okay?” They realized that his lateness may have indicated he almost didn’t make it, and they knew how desperately he needed to be there.

Hopefully we can find a balance between encouraging people to be on time for church for smoother functioning of the body, yet not judging them when they’re not. We should do our best to be at church on time, just as we would for our jobs or catching an airplane (for me, I’ve found I have to get up four hours before leaving in order for medicine to kick in on time). But, as the guest speaker at my former church said, we don’t know what some people go through just to get to church. A latecomer needs to be met with welcoming smiles of “We’re glad you’re here,” not frowns, scowls, or remarks that make them feel they should not have come.

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