When You’re Not Number One

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Fans of ball games across the country shout, “We’re Number One!” from the stands.

In reality, everyone can’t be number one. Someone has to be the second banana, play the second fiddle, act as the sidekick.

Many of us have the sad experience of not even being second. We were the last ones chosen for any kind of physical game.

One of the most dramatic battles for first place occurred between twins Jacob and Esau. In Old Testament times, the oldest son received the most inheritance, a blessing from his father, and the chosen leadership of the family.

Esau was the oldest. But God chose Jacob for a special blessing. Jacob would someday become Israel, head of the family through whom God blessed the world.

Did God choose Jacob to show a distinction, a way of saying “I am doing something different here” so it would stand out? Or did he choose the younger child because he knew the oldest was not fit to carry out His will? I don’t know—there may be a number of reasons.

However, instead of waiting and trusting God to work out His purposes, Jacob’s mother, Rebekah, felt they had to “help” orchestrate the circumstances by deceit, which did not work out well. Jacob got what he wanted, but he had to flee from Esau’s life-threatening anger. Esau seemed to have mellowed out a bit when Jacob returned twenty years later, but the Edomites, Esau’s descendants, were Israel’s enemies for centuries.

Jacob had twelve sons. Instead of learning from the tragedy of his family’s favoritism, he perpetuated it by having a favorite son: Joseph. Joseph’s brothers hated him and took the first opportunity to get rid of him.

There were other factors in both these cases besides the chosen status of a younger brother, factors which caused understandable anger. But they caused me to think of others in the Bible who found they were not the chosen ones.

Bad examples from the Bible

Cain was angry God accepted Abel’s offering and not his. Instead of repenting and adjusting his ways, he killed Abel.

Miriam and Aaron were jealous of Moses’ position. So were the sons of Korah. Each suffered God’s wrath.

King Saul had been chosen by God to be Israel’s first king. But his pride and disobedience led God to set Saul aside for David. Saul responded in anger, jealousy, and further sin.

Ahithophel was a counselor to David who deserted him when David’s son, Absalom, revolted against his father and staged a coup (2 Samuel 16-17). When Ahithophel’s counsel was not taken, he set his affairs in order and killed himself.

Absalom tried to take the throne by force. He was killed despite his father’s wishes.

The apostle John warned about Diotrephes, who “likes to put himself first” and did not respect the apostles’ authority.

Good examples from the Bible

Jonathan was Saul’s son, next in line to become king. But when Jonathan recognized God’s hand and calling on David, he readily acquiesced and helped David escape Saul’s wrath.

David planned to build a temple for God, but God said no. David’s son was to build the temple instead. David didn’t complain. He rejoiced that God blessed his house and did everything he could to aid Solomon.

Barnabas was instrumental in introducing Paul to other Christians when they were afraid of him. But he didn’t seem to resent when Paul became the leading spokesperson.

Andrew was Simon Peter’s brother. He faithfully served, often pointing people to Jesus. Though the disciples sometimes argued over who was the greatest, by and large they did not seem to mind that Peter was their leader.

John the Baptist was not offended when his followers left to follow Jesus. He pointed them to Him and said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Examples from history

Many people are familiar with D. L. Moody, a famous evangelist in the 1800s. What’s not as well-known is that Moody was led to the Lord by a faithful Sunday School teacher, Edward Kimball.

In fact, that visit set off a series of events. Under Moody’s preaching, a man named Wilbur Chapman was saved and became an evangelist. Under Chapman’s ministry, Billy Sunday was saved and also became an evangelist. Mordecai Ham was converted under Sunday’s influence. And Ham led Billy Graham to the Lord (sources here and here).

Many people know of Jim Elliot, one of five missionaries killed in 1956 when the tribe they were trying to reach speared them to death. The news went out across the globe. Jim’s wife, Elisabeth, told the men’s story in Through Gates of Splendor. Many books and articles have been written about the five men, their wives, and the tribespeople who eventually came to know the Lord. Many lives have been touched and surrendered to the Lord because of these events.

Jim had an older brother, Bert, who was a faithful missionary in Peru for some sixty years with his wife, Colleen. Bert told Randy Alcorn, “Jim and I both served Christ, but differently. Jim was a great meteor, streaking through the sky.” Randy described Bert as “a faint star that rose night after night, faithfully crossing the same path in the sky, to God’s glory.” Both were used by God, but He led them along different paths.

Sometimes God pushes people into the limelight who didn’t want to be there at first, like Moses and Gideon. He gives grace for that, but He also gives grace for the fainter stars, the lesser-known, who faithfully serve Him with the talents He has given.

Once when someone asked Edith Schaeffer, wife of Francis Schaeffer, founder of L’Abri, who the most influential Christian woman of the day was. Edith replied something like “Whoever she is, nobody knows her. She’ll be a woman whose calling is to be behind the scenes praying.” I’ve heard variations on this answer–another source quotes her as saying, “We don’t know her name. She is dying somewhere in a cancer ward or living in India.”

Whichever way Edith worded her answer, the principle is true: we don’t know who the most influential Christians are. That’s not our business. Our business is to keep our eyes on Him and serve Him with all our hearts.

No leader or CEO or head of anything can accomplish much without support staff. Christendom is the same: “Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:4-7).

Elisha was said to pour water on the hands of Elijah (2 Kings 3:11), a way of saying he ministered to Elijah’s needs. Elisha became the primary prophet after Elijah’s death, but he served just as well in whatever capacity he was called to at the time.

Imagine if one person in the chain between D. L. Moody and Billy Graham hadn’t done their part. There are unseen connections like that in all of our lives. We don’t know when a kind word, a shared verse, or a prayer might be part of a long series of steps leading a person to meet the Lord or know Him better.

May God give us grace to serve Him in whatever way He wants us to, ministering to others in large or small ways, whether seen or unseen.

“As good stewards of the manifold grace of God, each of you should use whatever gift he has received to serve one another” (1 Peter 4:10, BSB).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

The Mission for My Remaining Years

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Barbara Harper

After age 30 or so, each milestone birthday becomes more sobering. Age 60 hit me particularly hard. There’s no question that there are more years behind me than ahead of me. Though I hope to still have another two or three decades, my strength and stamina show obvious signs of slowing down.

I’ve never had trouble admitting my age until I turned 60. I was past the time of claiming to be middle-aged, yet I didn’t consider myself to be really old yet. I still felt relevant, but I was afraid younger people would see me as past my prime, no longer worthy to be listened to.

One frustration of aging is increasing health problems. I suppose most people don’t go full steam until the day they die. Most of us undergo a gradual breaking down of various functions. I heard a radio preacher say one reason our bodies start failing is to make us willing to let go of them. We have a strong instinct to survive, but at some point, this body will get to a place where we’ll realize it’s no longer worth trying to preserve it. But even long before that time, doctor’s visits and medications increase.

What’s even more unsettling for me is that the age I will turn this August is the same age both my parents died. They had bad health habits and conditions that I don’t have–but I have some that they didn’t have. I am reminding myself that my times are in God’s hands.

I’m encouraged by reports of people my age and older achieving great things. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65 when she published her first book. Grandma Moses began serious painting at the age of 78. Harlen Sanders established the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants when he was 65. Peter Mark Roget published his first thesaurus at the age of 73.

Most of us don’t have such lofty goals for our later years (although I would like to publish a book). We’d be happy just to be able to get around on our own steam and not be a burden to anyone.

In a recent post by Tim Challies, he included a quote by De Witt Talmage that arrested me:

. . . there is something for you yet to do. Perhaps it may be to round off the work you have already done; to demonstrate the patience you have been recommending all your lifetime; perhaps to stand a lighthouse at the mouth of the bay to light others into harbor; perhaps to show how glorious a sunset may come after a stormy day.

Those are things any of us could do. With however many years I have left, I want to share with my family, readers here, and friends at church and elsewhere, that God is faithful, God is good, and God is worth knowing.

When it feels like God is silent or absent, He is not. He has promised never to leave or forsake His own.

When answers to prayer seem a long time coming, God’s timing is best.

When you feel forsaken, God is with you.

He is the truest friend, the wisest guide, the strongest ally, the most loving Father.

His Word is a treasure chest. Delve into as often as you can, not just as an exercise or ritual, but to know the Author.

On all of my sons’ graduation materials, whether a card or the “senior page” in their yearbooks, I shared the first part of this verse:

And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. (1 Chronicles 28:9).

I usually share this verse on graduation cards:

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11).

I’ve also often shared this with others:

And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified (Acts 20:32).

These are the messages I want to share and demonstrate for as long as I live.

Rosalind Goforth shared this poem at the beginning of her book, Climbing: Memories of a Missionary Wife. It has stayed with me for years and epitomizes what I want my life, ministry, and legacy to be:

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back;
‘Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track;
And if, perchance, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back, and say He kept you when the forest’s roots were torn;
That when the heavens thundered and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the very air was still.

O friend, call back and tell me, for I cannot see your face;
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet bound in the race;
But there are mists between us, and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you’ll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you’ll say He saw you through the night’s sin-darkened sky
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back
‘Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

Author Unknown

Whatever else we can or can’t do as we get older, we can join with the psalmist in praying:

I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.

He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments . . .

Psalm 78:2-7

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

Posted on April 29, 2023 by Barbara Harper

Here’s my latest list of good online reads:

My Grandmother Would Tell You That, HT to Challies. “I could write out my grandmother’s full name and you wouldn’t recognize it. She wasn’t famous, wealthy, accomplished, or well-known. But her unremarkable life was truly remarkable because of who Jesus was to her.”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones, April Witkowski & the Myth of the Wasted Ministry, HT to Challies. “Our lives today will not be defined by our dreams, hopes, or expectations of what is to come (of what may never come) but will be defined by our faithful execution of the life and ministry God has given us in this moment. If we are faithfully serving God today in accordance with his Word and our calling and gifting, our lives are not a waste but rather the very definition of success.”

What Pins Are You Juggling? A Parenting Story, HT to Challies. One of the hard things about children growing up: “‘I have all these pins that I’m juggling and I have to keep them all up in the air and I can’t let any of them drop.’ I ended with a little sob of self-pity and mom-guilt that I am oh so good at. She came over to my chair and looked me in the eye. ‘But they’re not your pins.’”

Evidence of God’s Faithfulness in Ukraine, HT to Challies. After praying for this country for months now, it’s good to get a peek at some ways God is working there.

From the Heavens to the Depths: Sparking Wonder for Him Through Science. “When we shy away from science, we miss a breathtaking opportunity to open our kids’ eyes to the true majesty, the wonder, the artistry, and the magnificence of our Creator. The very foundations of science require acceptance of our universe as ordered, discoverable, and characterizable — a philosophy that lends itself to a higher, intelligent power who put it all into order in the first place. When we guide our kids through the mysteries and splendors of creation, we give them a glimpse of the brilliance, mastery, and goodness of the Creator, a glimpse that complements rather than contradicts the attributes He reveals through Scripture.”

5 Steps to Break Free from To-Do List Overwhelm. “As Christians we want to be faithful in the tasks the Lord has given us. But often we mistake busyness for productivity. We think if our to-do lists are full, and we are frantically working on them each day, surely we must be on the right track.”

How to Create an Effective Weekly Schedule, HT to Redeeming Productivity. “Every Monday for the past 5 years, I’ve taken the first 15 minutes to plan the week ahead. For me, this has been my single greatest productivity routine.” Great tips here for how to implement.

The Art of Moving On: When and How to Disengage from a Goal, HT to Redeeming Productivity. “When discussing goals, we typically talk about employing perseverance and persistence, even in the face of adversity and setbacks. ‘Quitters never win, and winners never quit,’ and all that. While grit is essential to goal achievement, Wrosch argues that an equally important part of successful living is knowing when to give up and disengage from a goal. “

Faithful in Obscurity

Posted on May 9, 2021 by Barbara Harper

Suppose you’re playing Jeopardy!, and you see this clue in the People in the Bible category:

Bartholomew, James the son of Alphaeus,
Thaddaeus, and Simon the Zealot

Would you know the right question?

“Who are some of Jesus’ disciples?”

If I were the host, I’d count that correct. But, more precisely, you could ask, “Who are the lesser-known disciples of Jesus?”

The names are a little different in the various lists of disciples (people often went by more than one name then.) But these usually appear near the bottom of the lists, right before Judas Iscariot. We don’t know much about them besides their names. We don’t have their words or actions recorded in the Bible other than in what the disciples did as a group.

Several years ago, our pastor at that time shared a series of messages about the disciples. Peter, as you can imagine, was the subject of more than one sermon. I think Judas may have gotten two; John, Phillip, and some of the others may have had one message devoted to each of them.

Our pastor grouped these last virtual unkowns all together. What can we possibly learn from them?

My pastor suggested the main thing they teach us is faithfulness in obscurity.

The lack of detail about them doesn’t mean they were inactive or lesser disciples. For His own reasons, God chose to emphasize certain aspects of other disciples in the Bible.

They heard the same messages as the others and ministered alongside them. There were people they preached to and helped and healed. I’m sure they made a difference in the lives they encountered. God probably used them in ways He could not have used Peter and John.

When they give an account before God, they’re not going to get a participation ribbon or an “I was one of twelve” tee shirt. If they served God faithfully, they’ll hear His “Well done.”

So will you. You may be a busy mom of little ones, a secretary stationed at her desk, a cashier at a counter, a caregiver tucked away in a lonely room, or in any number of occupations where you feel unnoticed. Don’t be concerned if you don’t get as much attention or response as other people. Don’t fret over whether your work seems “important.” Faithfully do what God has called you to do, for His honor and glory.

Sometimes obscurity is just for a time. Jesus was on earth a little over 33 years, with only the last three spent in active ministry. What was He doing those first thirty years? The Bible doesn’t tell us much except that after Mary and Joseph thought they’d lost Him and then found Him in a discussion in the temple, “he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:51-52). We can assume He learned carpentry alongside his stepfather and did all the things a normal Jewish family would do in those times. He probably engaged in acts of kindness and quiet ministry to others.

If we were arranging things, we might have Him manifest Himself as the Son of God much sooner. But that was not God’s way. Yet that quiet time in the background, walking righteously in everyday life, was just as much a part of His life as the rest. Just before His death, Jesus prayed, “I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do” (John 17:4).

That can be our purpose as well, whatever work we’re called to.

God may call people to the spotlight for a short time or for much of their lives. But many of us will live as 1 Thessalonians 4:11 says: “to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you.” We can serve Him in ordinary, everyday ways, hardly noticed by the rest of the world. Yet doing that ordinary service in love as unto Him, filled with His Spirit, makes all the difference.