Winter reading list

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I began a winter reading list in early January after the manner of the Fall Reading Challenge many of us did. I’ve had it in my sidebar but wanted to post it here so I could refer back to it as I completed books and commented on them. As I perused everyone’s lists from the challenge in the fall, I made a list of other books I want to read, so I have plenty of ideas if I get through these! 🙂

Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis (In progress)

White Chocolate Moments by Lori Wick (Completed)

Ever After by Karen Kingsbury (Completed)

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (In progress)

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 2) by Lemony Snicket

Through the year (These are laid out in weekly or daily sections):

Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker by Lynn Bowen Walker

Daily Light on the Daily Path compiled by the Samuel Bagster family

Wonderful Words by Stewart Custer

And, of course, the Bible.

I finished White Chocolate Moments by Lori Wick first. Reading Lori Wick feels like visiting an old friend to me. I think I have read all of her books and really enjoy them. I wouldn’t agree necessarily with every little point, but, then, that’s true of anyone I suppose. She has written many historical novels and a few contemporary ones: this is one of the latter. I thought the name of the main character, Arcineh, was kind of odd, and there was no explanation as to how her parents came up with that name. Her nickname is Arci, and throughout the book people hear it and mistake it for Darcy — that gets a little tedious sometimes. Arcineh’s parents are killed in a car accident when she is about 11, and she goes to live with her grandfather. Though they get along wonderfully, his “favorite” granddaughter has been Arcineh’s cousin, and that causes conflict later on. Arcineh is very non-competitive (I am, too, and it was interesting reading about someone else like that), and when things come to a crisis, she leaves. The rest of the books follows her journey to acceptance, to love, and to faith.

I also finished Karen Kingsbury’s book Ever After, just yesterday. It is a sequel to Even Now, which told the story of a young couple who were separated by their parents when the girl, Lauren, becomes pregnant. After Lauren gives birth her baby daughter, Emily, becomes ill, and through a series of misunderstandings, Lauren believes she is dead. She leaves and is estranged from her family and can’t find her boyfriend, Shane. She goes to college, becomes very liberal in her views, and eventually becomes a reporter for Time magazine on the front lines in Afghanistan, opposed to war. Shane, meanwhile, becomes a career soldier. Emily grows up, eventually finds her parents, and tries to reunite them. In this sequel, Shane and Lauren love each other as much as ever, but their differences are so great that they are not sure if they can make it. Emily goes to college, begins a job, and meets a young man, also a soldier, due for a second tour in Iraq. I’ll leave it there so as not to spoil it for anyone else who might like to read it. In many ways it is a predictable plot (to me, anyway), and Karen Kingsbury tends to overplay the emotional scenes, and I don’t think anyone opposed to the war in Iraq would be swayed by reading this. But she does make some very good points about the war effort, and this tribute to those who defend freedom is heartfelt. So even with those negatives, yes, I’d recommend the book.

I’m almost done with Mere Christianity. It is actually very easy to read, but I don’t normally gravitate toward non-fiction. I do want to comment more on it when I finish, but I would recommend it.

Fundamentalism and separatism

Normally I try to keep this blog pretty controversy-free. It’s not that I don’t have strong opinions on certain subjects, but there are plenty of places on the Internet to discuss and debate issues, and I didn’t want this to be one of them.

However, I do see a lot of misconceptions about these two subjects pretty often. A few weeks ago someone was blogging about a religious leader who took a Biblical principle far beyond what the Bible meant, and someone in the comments wrote a disparaging remark about “those fundamentalists.” The man was hardly a fundamentalist, but that term seems to be applied to anyone who is religiously unreasonable and excessive. In one Christian forum I often saw fundamentalists referred to as “KJV-only and dresses-only.” Not so. 🙂 And then somewhere else I saw separatists referred to in a negative way as a stumblingblock or a hindrance. I would have to say some separatists may be so, but there is certainly a principle of separation in the Bible (more on that later). I am not linking back to those posts because I don’t want to send controversy back to those sites, and I am not really writing this to answer them back. I just want to talk about what these words actually do mean.

I thought about writing a post about fundamentalism right after starting my blog, but just hadn’t yet sat down to do it. This will not be a great theological essay but rather a simple homemaker’s viewpoint. I have been a fundamentalist for 30+ years, before I ever knew there was a word for it. I didn’t grow up in a fundamentalist home, so this isn’t something I was raised with. The church where I was saved was an independent, fundamental Baptist church. I wrote in my testimony how I was saved and led to this church. It was at this church I was first encouraged to read the Bible through and to study the Scriptures for myself. My own studied confirmed to me that what I was taught at that church was Biblical. I attended a fundamentalist Christian college and have been in fundamental independent Baptist churches ever since.

A fundamentalist basically means someone who holds to the “fundamentals” or essentials of the faith, and these would be: that the Bible is inspired from God and is our standard of faith and practice, that God created man, that Christ was born of a virgin, That Jesus is the sinless, holy, only begotten Son of God the Father, that Jesus’ death was the atonement for our sins, that He rose again from the grave, that people are saved, born again, by repenting of their sins and believing on Him as Lord and Savior, and that the Holy Spirit is the comes to live in the hearts of believers when they are saved.

Beyond that, it is hard to paint all fundamentalists with the same brush strokes. Some are KJO; some are not (the ESV seems to be pretty popular right now. I’m currently using the NASB for devotions). Some are dresses-only for ladies; some are not. Some are Calvinistic; some are not. Some use only the old-standard hymns; some use Southern gospel; a few use CCM. Some homeschool; some do not. Not all Baptists are fundamentalists and not all fundamentalists are Baptists. The two times we have moved to a new town as a family and began the process of visiting independent fundamental churches, though they have essentially the same statement of faith and very similar church constitutions, their practice, standards, and personality run the gamut. Fundamentalists generally, historically are more conservative than New Evangelicals (or Evangelicals — the “New” seems to have been dropped), but that’s not always so in every respect.

Fundamentalists are often accused of being legalistic and Pharisaical. I think that partly comes from a misunderstanding of what legalism is. True legalism is a depending on what one does either for salvation or, after salvation, for a right standing with God, rather than depending on His grace. But these days often if Christian A has a stricter standard that Christian B, Christian B accuses Christian A of legalism. And that’s just faulty. (More on that in another post later.)

One of the major differences between fundamentalists and evangelicals is the doctrine of separation. Yes, some people carry it way too far and separate themselves into a corner, and that’s wrong. But the basic doctrine is rooted in Scripture. Here are a few of the passages indicating it:

II Thess. 3: 6: Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

II Thess. 3: 14-15: And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

I Cor. 5:9-11: I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

In the I Corinthians passage, Paul says in the verses above and below that one in chapter 5 that he does not mean that we should never interact with “fornicators, coveters, extortioners, idolators,” etc., because if we did we would pretty much have to leave this world (and in other Bible passages, particularly in the example of Christ’s ministry, we’re shown that we are here to minister to them and show them His love). But Paul says when a person is a professing believer and yet engages in these activities, we’re not to fellowship with them. In the first verse in that chapter he refers to one in the church who was living in an incestuous relationship, and in v. 2, he says, “And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.” He tells them in v. 4-5, “In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.” This would be the end result of a church discipline situation outlined in Matthew 18: 15-20 (interestingly, the promise “That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” is in this context.) The purpose has to do not only with the purity of the church and the need to shelter believers from being led astray, but it is also restoration. In II Corinthians this man did repent, and Paul had to tell the Corinthians that they needed to accept him back.

Those passages all deal with disobedient brethren, with those who are professing believers but are not walking in obedience to God’s Word. There are other passages that talk about separation from unbelievers. Here’s the man one:

II Cor. 6: 14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Again, that doesn’t mean we don’t interact at all with the people mentioned here, but we’re to avoid an “unequal yoke” (which includes marriage between an unbeliever and a believer but includes other types of “yokes” too.)

The doctrine of separation is clearly there. The trouble comes in two areas: what we separate over and how we do it. As I mentioned earlier, some separate over many things other than the fundamentals and go way overboard (I was kicked off a Christian ladies’ message board once for talking about how going to a Christian college had blessed my life. These ladies believed that a Christian woman should not go to college, that remaining under her father’s authority meant remaining physically at home until she married. I had never heard of such at the time. When I tried to convey why I felt that was wrong, I was removed for “causing people to sin.” Yes, that was extreme. But that’s not true of most fundamentalists — and I don’t even know if those women would have called themselves fundamentalists anyway). Separation over homeschooling vs. Christian schools vs. public schools, courtship vs. marriage, use of birth control or not, Bible translations, dresses or pants, and all other secondary issues ought not to be: we need to practice grace and allow that people can have different opinions on these things and still love God and be right with Him. It’s not that these issues are not important — we need to prayerfully consider what God would have us do in each instance and study any Scriptural principles involved. But in issues where the Bible doesn’t clearly speak or convey an issue to consider, we need to allow for grace.

As far as how we separate, separation doesn’t mean that when we see someone like this coming down the sidewalk toward us, we walk across the street and avoid them. It doesn’t mean we treat them hatefully. Paul said in II Thess. 3: 15 “Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. In all honesty I struggle some times with exactly what it does mean. But I am pretty sure that it at least applies in a ministry related setting. For instance, years ago a famous evangelist had someone open his meeting in prayer who had previously publicly denounced the virgin birth. Personally I think that was wrong. I head up our ladies’ ministry at church, and if I had a neighbor with whom I had serious doctrinal differences, I could befriend her, talk together over the fence, have yard sales together or whatever, but I would not ask her to speak at our ladies meeting. I hope that makes sense.

The Bible does teach that believers should be unified, but it also teaches separation over disobedience to the clear teaching of the Word. That may sound contradictory, but if we remember that one of the purposes of separation is restoration, it makes more sense. Perhaps we can understand it this way: we want unity within our own families — that won’t mean agreement over every little thing, but in our hearts and in major things we want to be unified, to not have disagreements. But if one member of the family decides to go off and do something wrong, that unity is disturbed until they get that thing right. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them any less when they are rebellious, but like the father of the prodigal son, we’re waiting and watching for them to return and run out to meet them and embrace them when they do.

I was going to write a bit more about secondary issues, but this post is way long already, so I will save that for another time.

Homemaking Meme

Sallie at A Gracious Home made up a Homemaking meme that looks like fun.

Aprons – Y/N? If Y, what does your favorite look like?
No — I just don’t usually bother. But that is one reason I love wearing denim jumpers — hardly anything shows!

Baking – Favorite thing to bake?
Cookies.

Clothesline – Y/N?
No, though a retractable one like Sallie mentioned would be good for line-dry items or those times the power is out. We had one in our first home. The South is a buggy place, and too often I would end up bringing little critters in, plus the clothes would be stiff, whereas the dryer made them soft and I usually wouldn’t need to iron them. Plus I like being able to wash and dry whenever and not have to plan around daylight or weather.

Donuts – Have you ever made them?
Not totally from scratch. I made some once that were small and round without holes, and made some using canned biscuits. But I’ve never made yeast donuts.

Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day
The dishes, with occasional exceptions.

Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?
No. There is no room for one anywhere in our house.

Garbage Disposal – Y/N?
No. I don’t really want one — I was always afraid of one of us accidentally getting fingers caught in there.

Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?
The Internet. I have, though, just started Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker by Lynn Bowen Walker and it looks good. I’ve read The Messies Manual by Sandra Felton and looked at their web site, and I have gotten a lot out of Confessions of an Organized Homemaker by Deniece Schofield. But I like to glean what works for me from the books I read and not be tied down to one person’s “system.” For instance, Sandra Felton strongly recommends, almost insists on wearing shoes when you are housecleaning so that mentally you know you’re getting down to business and are not tempted to get distracted. Well, I’m sorry, I was raised barefoot and never got over it. 🙂 I rarely wear shoes unless I am going outside the house, and shoes have no bearing at all on how down-to-business I am when I clean.

Ironing – Love it or hate it? Or hate it but love the results?
I don’t mind it once I get started, but I hate to think about doing it. If I hang things up straight out of the dryer, there are only a handful of things that need ironing.

Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?
In what we call the “dry sink” in the kitchen.

Kitchen – Color and decorating scheme
The lower part of the wallpaper is pink and white stripes and the upper part is a white background with pink roses and some small blue flowers, and a border with pink roses and blue edging connects them. The floors are a just-off-whiet linoleum with blue and pink lines. The kitchen sink and counters are blue (but they clash with each other, which drives me buggy if I think about it). The cabinets are a natural wood color.

Love – What is your favorite part of homemaking?
This might sound redundant. but being able to be home.

Mop – Y/N?
I use one of those Swiffer wet things, but it needs a more thorough scrubbing right now.

Nylons – Wash by hand or in the washing machine?
I only wear knee-his and put them in a lingerie bag in the washer.

Oven – Do you use the window or open the oven to check?
Have to open the door as our light doesn’t work.

Pizza – What do you put on yours?
Pepperoni and sausage.

Quiet – What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?
Check my e-mail or Bloglines or a couple of online forums.

Recipe card box – Y/N? What does it look like?
No. I made a scrapbook-type notebook for recipes.

Style of house – What style is your house?
Kind of a nondescript split level, about 35 years old, beige with brown trim. I’d love to change the colors, but that’s out of my hands. 🙂

Tablecloths and napkins – Y/N?
Only on special occasions.

Under the kitchen sink – Organized or toxic wasteland?
Sort of organized. It needs to be cleaned out. But I have a place for things and know where to find them.

Vacuum – How many times per week?
My kids do most of the vacuuming, and my desire would be to have it done once a week. But since they are only home on Saturdays and sometimes there are other things going on then, it’s more like every 2, sometimes 3 weeks. Our family room needs and gets it the most — that’s where everyone tracks in leaves or drops crumbs of food.

Wash – How many loads of laundry do you do per week?
Never counted it up before, but it is at least 8-10. I’ll have to make a note of that this week! I try to keep it within two separate days, but sometimes it spills over into more than that.

X’s – Do you keep a daily list of things to do that you cross off?
Only on my most busy days. Many days I do have something of a mental list.

Yard – Y/N? Who does what?
My husband and sons do most of that. I’d like to do something with the flower beds but can’t physically.

Zzz’s – What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?
Most days it is cleaning up the kitchen, though occasionally most often Wed. nights after prayer meeting) will leave them til morning.

If you would like to participate or read others’ answers, go here.

Thursday Thirteen #21: Favorite songs from musicals

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1. “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables

2. “All I Ask of You” from Phantom of the Opera

3. “There’s a Time For Us” from West Side Story

4. “Where Is Love?” from Oliver!

5. “If I Loved You” from Carousel

6. “Til There Was You” from The Music Man

7. “Goodnight My Someone” from The Music Man

8. “How to Handle a Woman” from Camelot

9. “If Ever I Would Leave You” from Camelot

10. “I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face” from My Fair Lady

11. “Singin’ In the Rain”

12. “Do You Love Me?” from Fiddler on the Roof

13. “Who Am I?” from Les Miserables

Connect to other Thursday Thirteeners here.

Scattergories meme

Saw this at Sugarfused.net and thought it looked like fun!

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following…They must be REAL places, names, things…NOTHING made up! If you can’t think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your name: Barbara

1. Famous Athlete: Barry Bonds (do I get extra points for having both names start with B? 😀 )
2. 4 letter word: Busy
3. Street name: Boardwalk
4. Color: Blue
5. Gifts/presents: Boyd’s Bears, Books
6. Vehicles: Barracuda
7. Tropical Locations: Bahamas
8. College Majors: Bible, Broadcasting, Biology
9. Dairy Products: Blue Bell Ice Cream
10. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Baseball cap
11. Boy Name: Ben
12. Girl Name: Brenda (People often get my name mixed up with Brenda)
13. Movie Titles: The Birds
14. Alcohol: None for me, thanks
15. Occupations: Beautician
16. Flowers: Blue bonnets
17. Celebrities: Bill Cosby
18. Magazines: Business Week
19. U.S. Cities: Baltimore, Beaumont
20. Pro Sports Teams: Braves
21. Something Found in a kitchen: Bowls
22. Reason for Being Late: Blew a tire
23. Something You Throw Away: Banana peels
24. Things You Shout: Be quiet! (Not really. But I have thought it. 😀 )
25. Cartoon Character: Bugs Bunny

Tag – you’re it! Let me know in the comments if you do this and I’ll come read your answers. 🙂

Works-For-Me Wednesday: Conveying expectations to children

wfmwheader_4.jpgWhen my children were little, sometimes in public places they would exhibit behavior that was hard (not impossible, but hard) to correct once it was in motion. For instance, at the grocery store one would ask for candy and a drink and a toy. Or visiting an elderly neighbor, my child would want to wander off and play in other rooms when I wanted him to stay where I could see him, or mess with things he was not supposed to, or ask for candy from the candy dish, etc. One day at the grocery store it occurred to me to tell him before we ever got out of the car what he could have in the way of a treat (sometimes we would get a drink if it was a hot day, or a piece of candy at the register, or whatever). Then if he asked for something in addition once we got in the store, I would say, “No, remember, we’re just getting this today. Maybe next time we can get that.” When we went to visit the neighbor, before we ever left our house, I would say (in a matter-of-fact way, not a harsh or scolding way) that we were going to visit Mrs. B., and he could not ask for a piece of candy, though he could have one if she offered it, and he had to stay in the room where I was and not touch the things Mrs. B. had on her end tables (side hint: in situations like that it also helps to bring a little toy or book or something that the child can play with). Mrs. B., by the way, always seemed to love our visits and never seemed to mind if my son handled anything in her house, but I wanted to teach him not to do that.

It seemed that often just by letting him know ahead of time what he could expect, a lot of inappropriate behavior was avoided. In fact, as I remember these things I am picturing my oldest, so possibly by the time the others came along this was already ingrained in my child-rearing habits. I am sure it was not fool-proof, and there were probably infractions, but it did seem to help immensely.

We discovered another variation of this when he was older. The local Christian college was putting on a production that might be of special interest to children and invited upper elementary children at our Christian school to come to the final dress rehearsal. This gave the cast a chance to rehearse before a live audience (maybe even gave them a chance to know what the reaction might be) and gave the kids a treat. Before the production started, the man in charge (Dr. Gustafson, for those who know him) came out and told the children a little bit about it and explained how they needed to behave, again, in a kind but matter-of-fact tone. In the course of that he said something about “putting on our best concert manners.” That stuck with me when we went to other performances, and I was able to tell my children, “Remember the man who spoke to us about concert manners? We need to put on our best concert manners when we go to this program.” That was very helpful as well.

Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer began and hosts Works For Me Wednesday, and you can find more tips or share some of your own there.

I know it is well past Christmas, but….

…I didn’t want to wait til next Christmas to do these. 🙂 I saw these soft trees first at The Sparrow’s Nest and was referred to little birds handmade for the free pattern. The blogger at little birds handmade (whose name I am afraid I don’t know) set up a Flickr group for soft trees that is really fun to look through. My, there are some wonderfully creative people out there!!!

I just wasn’t able to get to these during the Christmas season or right after, but finally did them today.

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The little plaid fabric was a 43¢ remnant, and the soft green was $1 per yard.

They are addictive! I am imagining all types of fabrics and trims! I may have a whole forest by next December. 🙂 After Christmas I found some pretty Christmas plaids at Wal-Mart for $1 a yard that would look nice.

I could even keep these out now, don’t you think? 😀

(Updated to add — this is a post from January, but I wanted to link it to Gibee’s Homemade With Love 2007 carnival. I do want to make some distinctively Christmasy ones and have them cut out but not made yet.)

Like Women of the Bible

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail years ago. The original author is unknown. This would make a good jump-start for a Bible study, but just reading over these is convicting and instructive, too:

LIKE WOMEN OF THE BIBLE

Like Deborah, I will serve the Lord in power and speak His word without fear.

Like Esther, I will intercede for God’s people before the throne.

Like Abigail, I will humble myself to wash the feet of the servants of the Lord.

Like Sarah, I will respect my spouse and his ministry to the Lord.

Like Hannah, I will dedicate my children to the Lord.

Like Priscilla, I will explain the way of God more perfectly to those who are seeking.

Like the Shunamite widow, I will trust God in the day of adversity.

Like Lydia, I will be a worshiper of God and open my home to His ministers.

Like Tabitha (Dorcas), I will always do good and help the poor.

Like Joanna, I will use my wealth to support the ministry of Jesus.

Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, I will hear the word of God to me and answer, “Be it unto me as you have said”.

Like Mary, the sister of Martha, I will know the voice of Jesus and hear his words.

Like Mary, the mother of Mark, I will make my home a haven for the followers of Jesus.

Like Mary, the Magdalene, I will keep at the feet of Jesus and love him unto death.

One of the saddest anniversaries

I hadn’t realized until late yesterday afternoon while reading Cindy’s blog at Notes In the Key of Life that yesterday was the 34th anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision that led to legal abortions.

I think this is one of our greatest national tragedies. It makes me unfathomably sad.

Every year at the Wed. night prayer meeting before or after this date, the man who leads our prayer time asks everyone who has been born since that date to come and sit on the first few rows. Those were the ones who were spared, who were allowed to live (I can hardly fathom that phrase, allowed to live. If it were in any other context there would be national outrage). Then to think of how much greater that number would be, to think of all the missing faces of our population due to abortion — 47,282,923, according to Carmon — it is just mind-boggling.

LaShawn Barber has an excellent blog post for that day as does Crystal at Bibilcal Womanhood.