Going Home

Posted on February 28, 2010 by Barbara Harper

This past week my dad would have celebrated his 80th birthday if he were still alive. He passed away about 13 years ago.

I don’t approach his birthday or the anniversary of his death with the same emotions as I do my mom’s. Our relationship was not as close, those we did love each other. I wrote about him, his alcoholism, and his conversation late in life here partly as an encouragement to others who have prayed long years for lost loved ones. But even though he did become a genuine (as far as I could tell) believer and there were some evident changes, long years as an unbeliever and lack of means of spiritual growth prohibited a dramatic turn-around. I’ve ben surprised at the amount of anger, resentment, and disappointment I’ve experienced since his death. As I wrote previously:

I was surprised that I had a great deal of anger in the years after he died — anger that our relationship wasn’t what it could have been, and though I couldn’t talk to him about it, anger at his anger. I felt it was kind of silly, really, to be angry at that point when there was no way to reconcile anything with him. I have read, though, that those feelings are pretty normal. What helps is to know that now, in heaven, where hearts are made finally perfect, knowing what he knows now, everything is all right on his end and he would do things differently if he could.

And that’s the encouragement I want to leave with people today. I know people who have had horrible relationships with their parents, involving manipulation and twisted emotional abuse, made worse by the fact that these were professing believers. Making a profession doesn’t necessarily make one a believer, of course, if there was no faith and repentance behind the profession; however, many true believers are far from what they should be (see Lot and Jonah for examples). When those kinds of parents (or siblings or friends or whoever) pass away, instead of or along with some degree of relief there is an unsettledness that things were left unresolved and that there is no way to resolve them now.

But there, in heaven, where “the spirits of just men [are] made perfect,” their hearts are finally perfectly right, they can see things clearly, and they would apologize if they could, and we can look forward to a joyful reunion.

I can’t remember where I saw this video: I scrolled through recent posts of a few blogs I regularly read, but I couldn’t find it. But after Dr. John‘s recent passing, the anniversary of my father’s death, and this week the passing of my pastor’s wife’s sister-in-law, a woman I looked up to in school, this seemed particularly poignant. I had know for years that a song called “Going Home” had been made with the melody of the second movement of Dvorak’s New World Symphony, but I had never heard all the words before.

Prayer

Posted on February 27, 2010 by Barbara Harper

You’ve probably heard that there was a major earthquake in Chile which is setting off a tsunami. I have several friends in the predicted path of the tsunami — I am sure they and the people affected by the earthquake would appreciate prayer.

Also, our family may be facing some major changes in the coming months. I can’t say anything more specific right now, but would appreciate prayer for discernment of the Lord’s will and leading and reconciliation of our feelings to His will.

Friday’s Fave Five

Posted on February 26, 2010 by Barbara Harper

Susanne at Living to Tell the Story hosts a “Friday Fave Five” in which we share our five favorite things from the past week. Click on the button to read more of the details, and you can visit Susanne to see the list of others’ favorites or to join in.

1. A dinner date with hubby at Cracker Barrel. I think I may have mentioned a time or two that it is at least one of my favorites, if not my absolute favorite restaurant. Saturday night found us with no kids at home, so Jim asked me if I’d like to go eat there. And what makes that even more special is that he is not crazy about Cracker Barrel, but he knows how much I like it. Unfortunately, I think his negative opinion is even more firmly cemented now, as a number of things went wrong….it was almost comic afterward in retrospect though not so much at the time.

2. Coca-Cola cake — a new addition to the desserts at Cracker Barrel. So. Very. Good. I ordered it to go and split it over a couple of days. My mouth was happy for a long time. 😀

3. Celebrating my daughter-in-law’s birthday. They took a quick trip to see her mom on her actual birthday, but we had our family celebration when they got back. Even though I made a mistake on the cake, it still tasted good, and they all tell me that’s what counts. 🙂 It was fun to shop for things I thought she might like — and fun to buy feminine wrapping paper (which is rare for a mom of all boys. 🙂 )

4. Going to a concert to see the King’s Singers!!!!!! One of my all-time favorite groups! I thought about writing a separate post about it but just haven’t had time to — I still might. If you’re not familiar with them, they are a mostly a capella group of 6 men that began as students at King’s College Cambridge in the 1960s. They decided to continue on even after graduation and after a member had to leave: now they audition and bring in new members as the older ones retire. They sing a wide variety of music from hymns, folk songs from various countries, classical music, and pop songs. Not only do they have some of the most gorgeous voices God ever gave anybody, but they entertain — on some of the lighter songs they “act” out the parts or do hand motions that really fit the piece they’re singing and crack up the audience. Here are a couple of samples of their work:

One funny one — the end is the best!

And a serious one:

Sorry the video quality isn’t better!

Here’s one more that is clearer, and this group except one is the current group that we saw:

5. The Olympic ice-dancing free dances of American team Meryl Davis and Charlie White and Canadians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, who won silver and gold, respectively. I was rooting for Meryl and Charlie, of course! 🙂 But they all did beautifully, and I think it is neat that they are all friends and train together as well.

And that is it for a great week! Hope you have a wonderful Friday!

Something’s not quite right here…

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Barbara Harper

Cake decorating has never been my forte, but I used to be able to spell.

Booking Through Thursday: Why You Read

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Barbara Harper

The Booking Through Thursday question for this week is:

Suggested by Janet:

I’ve seen this quotation in several places lately. It’s from Sven Birkerts’ ‘The Gutenberg Elegies: The Fate of Reading in an Electronic Age’:

“To read, when one does so of one’s own free will, is to make a volitional statement, to cast a vote; it is to posit an elsewhere and set off toward it. And like any traveling, reading is at once a movement and a comment of sorts about the place one has left. To open a book voluntarily is at some level to remark the insufficiency either of one’s life or one’s orientation toward it.”

To what extent does this describe you?

I’ve had to read this quote through several times. I often wish the questions were posted a day or a week beforehand to give more time to process them.

If I am understanding the quote correctly, I disagree with it, especially with traveling and reading being “a comment of sorts about the place one has left.” Travel is not always about insufficiency or dissatisfaction and does not always mean I don’t like where I am. There are multitudes of reasons to travel, but for me personally, I love most coming back to home base.

Reading is not escapism in the sense that there is something missing from life that I am trying to find in books. It does open up new horizons and allows me to visit places and people that I would not otherwise, it causes me to think and to process, but to me it is about enrichment, not insufficiency. There may occasionally be a book I read out of a felt need for the contents, like Changed Into His Image or How To Say No To a Stubborn Habit. And I “need” to read in the sense that that’s how I am stimulated mentally and intellectually and often spiritually.

On the other hand, reading us also partly about personal growth, so in that sense I can see the idea of movement. But I guess the word “insufficiency” bothers me here. You can have a plant that is fine in itself, but you can do things to it to enrich it, make it hardier, more fruitful, etc.

I don’t know — I guess I am still processing this one! It will be interesting to see what the others participants have to say.

Wednesday Random Dozen

Posted on February 24, 2010 by Barbara Harper

Linda at 2nd cup of coffee created and hosts the Random Dozen meme every Wednesday. You can answer the questions on your blog and link up to Linda’s plus find more participants there.

1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?

Bow and arrow: no, except maybe my kids’ Nerf bow when they were younger. Gun: I can remember my dad taking us out to shoot tin cans once when I was a kid, but only that one time.

2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?

Sadly, no. I think one is still in the town I grew up in. Last time we were there — about 21 years ago — I looked up her parents’ number and called, but missed her and never got back to her because we were at a family reunion.

3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?

Yes. 🙂 It varies. I like to arrive a bit on the early side, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

4. Are you more of a New York or California type?

I’m not sure what is meant by such “types.” I think of Californians as barefoot free spirits and New Yorkers as rude and busy — but I am sure those broad stereotypes are no more true than the ones people had of Texas when they learned that’s where I was from and asked me where my accent was. I sometimes thought of saying, “Back on the ranch with my ten-gallon hat and tumbleweed.” 🙂

5. Do you have a special ring tone?

No, just a regular phone ring.

6. What is your favorite type of chip?

Used to be Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar, but lately I’ve been gravitating to Lays’ Sour Cream and Onion. Surprising because I am not all that fond of sour cream.

7. Best comedy you’ve ever seen is ….

I loved Boy Meets World in its early days. We stopped watching it when the kids in it got to middle school and constantly thought about kissing — didn’t want my guys to think that was the primary concern of kids that age! But we picked it up again in its later years.

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, “How’d that work for ya?”

Yes, I have, and surprisingly it looked okay. Not so well that I wanted to keep doing it, but passable.

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?

That would be a hard choice. If it was all expenses paid and they wouldn’t do anything without my preferences in mind, probably the house. But there are certain things I’d love to have a personal consultation about.

10. Are you allergic to anything?

Penicillin and sulfa drugs. Some artificial scents give me a headache, but I don’t know if that is properly an allergy.

11. Why is it so hard to change?

“For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would” (Galatians 5:17). But “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16) and “For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live” (Romans 8:13).

12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, “To love is to be vulnerable.” Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you’d like to about this topic.

I think that is true, because if you let someone know you love them, they might reject your love and therefore hurt you. Even if they accept it and love you in return, there will be times you’re not 100% in sync, and disagreement with the one you love most is more hurtful than disagreement with anyone else. The primary example of vulnerability in love is the Lord Jesus Christ, who was vulnerable to the point of death for people who did not understand and for some who rejected that gift. Yet His sacrifice made it possible for those who do believe and accept His love to enter into a loving relationship with Him.

What’s On Your Nightstand: February

Posted on February 23, 2010 by Barbara Harper

What's On Your Nightstand The folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand? the fourth Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read. You can learn more about it by clicking the link or the button.

I finished The Tartan Pimpernel, an autobiography of Donald Caskie, a Scottish pastor in France during WWII who helped establish safe houses and escape routes for Allied soldiers, and reviewed it here.

I also finished Words Unspoken by Elizabeth Musser about…a lot of things actually, but the main story line involves a teen-age girl who feels she caused the accident that killed her mother, and eighteen months later still has panic attacks when she tries to drive. But as I said in my review, it is about so much more. This was one of my favorite books of the year so far.

I reviewed Mrs. Dunwoody’s Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping here but did not read it completely since it is mainly a book of homemaking tips. I did read much the philosophy behind the book and dipped into several portions, and have it ready as a reference.

I also finished Interwoven about two missionaries whose spouses died and who were eventually led together and reviewed it here.

I am almost finished with Parting the Waters:Finding Beauty in Brokenness by Jeanne Damoff about her teen-age son’s near-drowning and can’t wait to tell you more about it.

I just started Dr. Sa’eed of Iran: Kurdish Physician to Princes and Peasants Nobles and Nomads by Jay M. Rasooli and Cady H. Allen (which I looked up mainly because a poem from it was read at Dr. John Dreisbach’s funeral).

I’m not sure what is next after those two, but I think I am in the mood for something lighter. I have several Christian fiction titles on my shelf, plus I am thinking about reading Emma by Jane Austen after recently seeing the newest PBS production. I read all the rest of Austen’s novels over the last few years, but had read that one over 30 years ago for a college course. I’d like to revisit it while the production I saw is still fresh in my mind. But…we’ll see!

Meanwhile, if you’d like to see what other people have been delving into or if you would like to share what you’ve been reading, head over to 5 Minutes For Books.

Book Review: Interwoven

Posted on February 23, 2010 by Barbara Harper

The cover of the book Interwoven by Russ and Nancy Ebersole shows cloth intricately woven by Igorot women in the Philippines to illustrate the interweaving of the lives of Russ and Nancy.

Russ and his first wife, Gene, were married in 1950, and after graduate school spent ten years as missionaries in the Philippines. After battling cancer for three and a half years, Gene passed away, leaving Russ a widower with five children.

Nancy and her first husband, Harry, were married in 1957. He studied in seminary, and then they were led to work as missionaries in Bangladesh (East Pakistan at that time). After just two short years on the field, though, Harry became suddenly and seriously ill, and the Lord took him home in 1965, leaving Nancy a widow at 27 with three children.

Though a few threads of their lives had intersected before, four years later Russ and Nancy were led to each other, married, and blended their families together.

This book shares the testimonies of their early lives and that of their first spouses as well as how the Lord sustained them during loss, brought them together, and used them for many years afterward in various forms of service. Included are adventures such as the rescue of the family of Russ’s first wife, Gene, in the Philippines from the Japanese during WWII on the very morning they were scheduled to be executed in what “General Douglas MacArthur called…’the most thrilling rescue in all of American history'” and Russ and Nancy’s later being on a plane that was hijacked to China. Particularly poignant to me were the sections dealing with Gene’s response to cancer and Nancy’s adjustments as a young widow as well as many stories of the people they ministered to who became strong, fervent believers, some in spite of intense persecution. Some of the struggles and adjustments for the family after Russ and Nancy first married illustrate that missionaries are ordinary people with problems like everyone else would have, yet the Lord helped everyone to adjust and blend together over time. Woven into every part is God’s faithfulness and love.

Though a book like this is not meant to read like a novel, I did find the style just a little dry here and there, reading somewhat more like a report in places. But overall I can and do highly recommend this book.

(This review will be linked to Semicolon’s Saturday Review of Books.)

The Week In Words

Posted on February 22, 2010 by Barbara Harper

Melissa at Breath of Life hosts a weekly carnival called The Week In Words,which involves sharing some words from your reading. Melissa explains,

“Playing along is simple, just write a post of the quote(s) that spoke to you during the week (attributed, of course) and link back here [at Melissa‘s]. They can be from any written source, i.e. magazine, newspaper, blog, book. The only requirement is that they be words you read.”

I like this idea because I often will see a quote that really speaks to me, but then I forget it. Just recording them here helps me remember them a little better.

Here are a few words of wisdom from the past week’s reading:

From Warren Wiersbe’s With the Word, p.28:

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nap!

These two were from a friend’s Facebook:

“Keep out of your life all that will keep Christ out of your mind.” – Anonymous

“The way to know whether you’ve made an idol in your heart is when you’re either willing to sin in order to get it or sin because you can’t have it.” – Anonymous

Seen at ivman:

“Being missions-minded is more than paying someone else to make disciples somewhere else.” – Drew Conley

Seen at Practical Theology For Women:

“The Christian gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.”

Tim Keller, The Reason For God

I’ve not read the book and I don’t know anything about Tim Keller, but I liked this quote.

You can visit Melissa‘s for more or to link up with your own quotes.

Microfiction Monday

Posted on February 22, 2010 by Barbara Harper

Welcome to Microfiction Monday,
where a picture only paints 140 characters.

microfictionmonday

Susan at Stony River has begun a Microfiction Monday wherein participants write a story in 140 characters or less based on a particular image that Susan has chosen for the day. Design 215’s Character Counter helps keep track of the number of characters. It’s a fun exercise in creative conciseness…or concise creativity… You can visit Susan’s to see some very creative stories for today.

The picture for today and my take on it: