Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

https://barbarah.wordpress.com

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable Linkage

Some of the good reads found this week:

Have You Counted the Cost? HT to Challies. “Two things can be true at once. The gospel is absolutely free, and yet the gospel costs us everything.”

Why Do the New Testament Letters Sound Different from the Gospels? “The gospels do sound quite different from the New Testament letters. The simple parables and catchy teaching of Jesus give way to long doctrinal treatises on justification by faith, a theology of the body of Christ with its many members, or instructions for how households and churches should be governed. So how do we explain the difference? How did we go from stories about lost sheep, people planting seeds, or runaway sons to exalted discourses on theology?” I never thought about this before. This article gives some great answers.

I Will, If the Lord Permits, HT to Challies. “Here even the apostle Paul himself admits that his plans are fallible and must therefore be flexible. ‘I have made my very best plans,’ Paul says, ‘and am operating according to them to the best of my ability—but all the while in the recognition that my plans may not be God’s plans.'”

You’re Their Mom or Dad, Not Their Pastor or Evangelist. “Parents who love the Lord naturally long for their children to do the same. Their ‘heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved’ (Romans 10:1), and rightly so. And so they share the gospel with their kids and earnestly pray for them. But what are they to do when such attempts do not bear immediate fruit?”

Unreasonable Hospitality, HT to So She Reads. “This idea of unreasonable hospitality is found throughout the Bible. Think of killing the fatted calf for a stranger traveling through: giving of your best to someone you do not know and may never meet again; think of the widow’s last cruse of oil given to a prophet; think of five loaves and two fishes feeding 5000 people. This is the very embodiment of unreasonable hospitality.”

Story of Grace, HT to So She Reads. I have the famous print of an older man praying over the dinner table, as well as a companion piece of an older woman, in my dining area. It was neat to read the story behind it.

“Fear is a liar and a thief. A liar, because it fills our minds with
hypothetical horrors, and a thief because it steals precious hours we
can never get back and strips them of peace.” ~ Jeanne Damoff

Friday’s Fave Five

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Friday's Fave Five

It’s hard to believe we’re at the end of October already. I’m pausing for a moment with Susanne and friends at Living to Tell the Story to share blessings of the week.

1. Annual pumpkin decorating night. Mittu brought shepherd’s pie and salad. I made caramel corn and apple cider. Here are the results of our labors:

Carved Pumpkins

I shared more detail about them in my end-of-month post yesterday.

2. Beautiful trees. I’ve been saying our fall color has been late coming and not as spectacular as usual. Sunday we drove around quite a bit–Jesse had flown to the wedding of friends over the weekend and came home Sunday afternoon. So we left church and ate lunch, then drove to the airport, then took Jesse home and came home ourselves. We saw lots of pretty fall foliage. Oddly, there’s still not much in our immediate neighborhood. I’m not much for taking a drive just to take a drive, so I’m glad we had the opportunity to get out for a bit in areas that had more color.

3. A $28 microwave. I mentioned last week that our microwave stopped heating–we’re still waiting for the needed part–and Jim brought in the little one from his office that we had bought when his mom was in assisted living. Then that one died. He went to Wal-Mart to look for another little one to replace it; he likes having one in his office to warm up whatever he’s eating or drinking. Plus we use it sometimes when we need extra help for big family dinners. He stopped one of their workers to ask a question, and she pointed him to a couple of microwaves that had been marked down to $28 because the boxes were dented. She said the microwaves themselves were fine because they were encased in Styrofoam. They just had to mark them down because customers avoided the dented boxes. Just finding someone to help and answer questions is getting to be a minor miracle there. Then to have her point out the mark-down was a bonus. My deal-loving husband was happy. 🙂

4. Soup. Though we have soups year round, they’re especially good when the weather turns cool. Last week we had hamburger vegetable soup (using ground turkey instead of beef) and corn muffins one night, then potato soup with open-faced English muffin sandwiches for lunch one day.

5. Rain. Overcast skies are not my favorite, but we really needed the rain. We had precipitation for parts of four days this week. I’m especially glad it was a pleasant rain rather than thunderstorms.

And that’s the end of another week–and another month! How was yours?

October Reflections

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October Reflctions

Many of our spring and summer flowers are still in bloom. That’s not only nice in itself, but it has helped since fall foliage color was late coming in. But it finally did. It’s so nice to have that beautiful color before the landscape goes barren in the winter.

This has been a month for dying appliances. First our dishwasher, which wasn’t unexpected. Then our microwave, which we just got last November. Because it was still under warranty, the company we bought it from sent out a repairman. We’re waiting on the needed part to arrive. In the meantime, Jim had brought over the little microwave in his office, which we had originally bought years ago when his mom was in assisted living. Then it went kaput as well.

Jim refurbished my dresser, making it look wonderful. And he’s been putting walls and a ceiling in our shed. Lights and a ceiling fan are next.

We enjoyed dinners both planned and impromptu with the family, as well as a couple of Sunday lunches with them and friends.

Our Connect Four group got together to work on paint-by-number projects. I hadn’t done that since maybe sixth grade. It was relaxing and fun to visit while painting.

The guys had a camping trip with other men and boys from church one weekend.

We had our annual pumpkin carving event last week. Here are the results:

Pumpkin carving

The one on the bottom left was Jim’s–Luigi, I think, from the Mario games. The “classic” jack-o-lantern was Tim’s. He did all the carving himself! The light in his rotated through different colors. Mine, on the right, has a Pac Man theme. Mittu drilled the holes for me when my carving knife wasn’t working for them. Hers is the cross and heart on the table. And Jason’s is the one on the right side of the table. He made a template from this photo of Timothy and Jim fishing to carve:

Fishing
fishing pumpkin

I’m amazed at the detail, even the waves. I had a hard enough time cutting out my two small images!

We had no birthdays or anniversaries this month, so I didn’t make any cards.

Watching

When Jim was away camping, I watched the 1985 film The Trip to Bountiful, starring Geraldine Page. It was recommended by Hope. Based on a play, it’s the story of elderly Carrie Watts, who lives in a busy Houston apartment building with her son, Ludie, and controlling daughter-in-law, Jessie Mae. Carrie dreams of visiting the small town she came from, Bountiful. But Ludie, somewhat henpecked and weak-willed, doesn’t have time to take her. Carrie schemes to cash her pension check and take the train to Bountiful. We learn then that she has attempted this several times and has always been caught. But not this time. The story is comical at the beginning, but poignant and wistful at the end. There was one use of God’s name taken in vain (which, oddly, I saw in the subtitles but didn’t hear). But otherwise, it was clean.

Reading

Since last time I finished (titles link to my reviews):

I’m currently reading:

  • Exodus for You by Tim Chester with the ladies’ Bible study at church
  • James for You by Sam Allberry
  • Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child: Facing Challenges with Strength, Courage, and Hope by Boris Vujicic, father of Nick Vujicic
  • The Gospel Comes with a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield
  • Bloom In Your Winter Season by Deborah Malone
  • The Language of Sycamores by Lisa Wingate, audiobook

Blogging

Besides the weekly Friday Fave Fives, Saturday Laudable Linkage, and book reviews, I’ve posted these since last time:

  • Look to Jesus. “How can we look to Jesus when He is not physically on Earth any more? He wasn’t when Hebrews was written, either, so the author did not have a physical view in mind. Where do we see Him these days? In His Word. What would that look like in everyday life?”
  • What Complaining Does. “Before we’re too hard on the children of Israel, we need to look at ourselves. How often do I complain at the first minor inconvenience? I don’t stop to ask God if He has something for me to learn from the problem. I might get convicted about that later, but all too often my first response is to grouse.”
  • How Can a Wife Help Her Husband? “It’s easy to depend on a husband’s help in myriad ways. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and Jesus certainly helps us. But sometimes I’m reminded of Genesis 2:18, where God said He made woman a helper fit for or suitable for the man. And I wonder, am I being a help to my husband? And how do I do that?”
  • Back Burner Dreams. “Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day.” But sometimes they’re better for their time simmering.
  • Stray Thoughts. Sometimes I write a hodgepodge post of disconnected things I’ve been pondering.

November looks like a pretty low-key month until Thanksgiving. It’s nice to have a lull before holiday season.

How was your October? Is there anything you’re looking forward to in November?

Stray Thoughts

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Stray thoughts

Some of the things I’ve been musing about lately:

Have you ever worked on a blog post, and before you finished it, you saw that one or more of the blogs you follow covered the same topic? That’s happened to me several times. Sometimes I wonder if I should write something else instead. I don’t want to seem like I am copying someone else. But most often, I go ahead with the post I’ve been working on. I figure if God laid the same topic on two or more people’s hearts the same week, He must want that particular message to go out. And usually there’s enough of a difference that posts on the same idea don’t sound like one was taken from the other.

Sometimes, though, a thought from someone else’s post will spark thoughts that turn into a blog post here.
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If onomatopoeia is a word that sounds like what it is, I wonder if there’s a name for words that sound like the opposite of what they are. I think one word in that category is “sublime.” Merriam-Webster says sublime means “lofty, grand, or exalted in thought, expression, or manner; of outstanding spiritual, intellectual, or moral worth; tending to inspire awe usually because of elevated quality (as of beauty, nobility, or grandeur) or transcendent excellence.” But the word sublime itself sounds the opposite of lofty, grand, awe-inspiring, or transcendent.
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In my last post like this, I expressed dislike of sentences starting with the phrase “If I’m being honest,” because it sounds like the speaker is saying they’re not usually honest. But then I saw in Romans 9:1 that Paul starts a sentence with “I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit . . .” So I guess I have to take back negative feelings about those kinds of phrases. 🙂 Sometimes they are used for emphasis.
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I’ve seen a meme going around with the sentiment that when you share the gospel, it doesn’t matter whether the other person responds. You’ve done your duty; you’ve been faithful, and that’s all that matters.

It’s true that we have no control over how anyone responds. Only God can open spiritual eyes and convict hearts.

But I don’t know if the attitude “I’ve done my duty and that’s all that matters” is a very effective witness. It seems like that would come across as not particularly caring about the other person’s soul.

My Sunday School teacher just said last week that duty is required in the Christian life, but it’s not sufficient in itself: we need to have love for people.

I prefer Spurgeon’s attitude when he said, “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”

The Apostle Paul’s heart seems similar in the passage mentioned earlier: “I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit—that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh” (Romans 9:1-3).

As passionately as I yearn for my loved ones to be know Christ, I don’t know if I could honestly say I wish I could be cursed if they would be saved as a result. But that’s how Jesus loved. He took our sin on Himself and bore God’s curse in our place. He’s the only one who could. He wept over the city of Jerusalem, which was not willing to come to Him, though He would have gathered them like a hen gathers its young under its wings. May my heart become more like His.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Back Burner Dreams

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Back Burner Dreams

Do you have anything on the back burner, the place where we let hopes and dreams simmer until the time is right for them?

My “back burner” dream was writing. I loved being a mother and homemaker. I enjoyed being actively involved in church ministries. Just when my “nest” was emptying, we cared for my mother-in-law for several years. It seemed writing usually had to take a back seat to other needs.

Even though a woman has looked forward to being a mother all her life and delights in her child, some days she feels she is accomplishing nothing beyond wiping noses, changing diapers, and reading Dr. Seuss all day. She longs to do something “important.” Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day. But those everyday ministrations are just as important as any grand endeavor.

College students full of zeal to go out and change the world sometimes chafe at their time of training, wondering if it’s really needed.

Olympic athletes put aside many pursuits in order to train and compete while they can.

Business men and women lay aside some interests in order to gain seniority and experience to get the next promotion.

Newlyweds may have to postpone getting their dream house until they get more financially stable.

Caring for elderly parents may require that some of our dreams remain on the back burner a little longer.

However, what kinds of foods stay on the back burner for a long time? Soups or stews that become all the richer for their long simmer. Meats tenderize, vegetables soften, flavors blend, broth thickens. The smells waft through the house, igniting our appetites.

We can give that pot a stir every now and then. In my case, I had the opportunity to write a few newspaper and magazine articles as well as a ladies’ newsletter at church. Having to wait to redo certain rooms gave me time to research and dream about what I wanted. Reading books, taking classes, jotting down ideas, and talking with others about our dreams can help prepare us for the time when we can pursue them.

We don’t need to get discouraged if others seem to have all their burners going at once, accomplishing things right and left. I used to lament that I couldn’t do as much as some women until I finally came to grips with the fact that God made us with different capacities, abilities, and personalities.

The back burner is not the place to foster excuses or procrastination. Not “getting around to” some tasks is a different thing from placing them on the back burner. We need to seek the Lord’s wisdom as to whether we’re postponing due to fear, laziness, or distractions, or whether certain pursuits are not His timing yet.

There may be some things God wants us to relinquish completely, and here our back burner analogy breaks down. There are some things He never intended for us to pursue, and we have to set aside what was a personal desire that was not His will. We have to remind ourselves that, no matter how strong and even good a desire was, if it is not God’s will, it would not have been good for us. That desire may actually have been harmful and taken away from what He did have for us to do.

Missionary Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” We don’t just stand and watch those pots on the back burner: we get other things done while we wait. Maybe we can’t write a bestselling book, but we can send a note of encouragement to someone. Maybe a family can’t get to the mission field until their training is done, but they can minister to their neighbors and coworkers. Maybe a couple can’t take a European tour, but they can plan a weekend getaway to a nearby destination.

If I had known that it was going to be just as hard to make time to write with an “empty nest” as it was when the house was full, I might have pushed a little harder to write earlier. Then again, maybe, hopefully, those years of waiting have enriched what I have to share now.

May God give us wisdom, patience, and guidance to know when our back burner dreams are “just right” and ready to serve.

Do you have anything on the back burner now? Have you had a back burner dream that was made better by waiting?

Psalm 27:14

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Laudable Linkage

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Laudable Inkage

Some of the good reads found this week:

Awaken Your Hunger, HT to Challies. “Like tamping down my appetite as I’m tasting and assembling ingredients for dinner, I find myself quieting my hunger for God by tasting too many things that don’t satisfy. Sometimes it’s not the quality so much as the quantity: a half hour of mindless scrolling here, a couple of hours of Netflix bingeing there, the incessant input of a podcast or audiobook every time it gets quiet. I keep filling up my soul with so many things that leave me hungry but not for what I need.”

What Martha’s Problem Really Was. “Martha’s problem had nothing to do with her to-do list and everything to do with how she handled her thoughts. Luke didn’t include this account to caution women away from vacuuming, doing dishes, or cooking a nice meal for company. He included it as a warning against unguarded thoughts. Thankfully, he does include a solution.”

You Are “The Next.” “Who will be the next Nancy? The next Charlie? The next John, James, Voddie, or Kay? This may come as a surprise, but there is an answer. The answer is no one. And it’s also . . . you. Confused? Let me explain.”

When Dad Will Not Lead in the Home, HT to Challies. “One of the saddest verses of the Bible is Genesis 3:6 where God’s Word records, ‘[Eve] took of it and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.’ In other words, Adam was standing with Eve when Satan tempted her. The one who should have defended his wife from the tempter, didn’t do anything. He was passive. And that’s what we’re talking about. Instead of spiritual leadership and initiative, we have passivity. How do we approach this problem?”

DO Something When You Are Maligned, HT to Challies. “When stressed through the ill-will or stinging insults and persistent opposition by someone who wants to cause you trouble, we know there is something to think. We are to think the truth about God and ourselves. We don’t take their evaluation as true, but only God’s. Also, we are to think of God’s loving and purposeful sovereignty over his children, meaning that difficulties can bring about good results in character and progress for the gospel. But there is also something to DO.”

The Worst Kind of Parenting Advice, HT to Challies. “I’m grateful to God that I learned early on to chew the meat and spit out the bones regarding much of the Christian parenting advice I was given, and instead to do what was right for our kids and our family. But when it comes to formulaic parenting advice, it sure is interesting that the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

Social Media Pushes Pornography on Children Within Minutes, Report Finds, HT to Challies. “Social media is now one of the primary pipelines to porn addiction for both children and young adults. Global Witness, a campaign organization that investigates the impact of Big Tech on human rights, recently conducted a number of tests to determine how quickly children could access pornography on social media platforms. According to the Guardian, Global Witness conducted one test before the implementation of the U.K.’s Online Safety Act in July, and one after. In just a few clicks, TikTok directed children’s accounts to pornography.”

Spurgeon re the Bible

“Visit many good books, but live in the Bible.”–Charles Spurgeon

Friday’s Fave Five

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Friday's Fave Five

Friday is my weekly reminder to stop and ponder the week’s happenings and to express gratitude for them. I join Susanne and friends at Living to Tell the Story to share.

1. Fall color, finally. It’s not as much or as vibrant as usual, evidently because of how dry it has been here. But it’s much appreciated.

2. Men and boys’ camping trip. Our church organized this on the land of one of the men. Jim, Jason, and Timothy seemed to really enjoy it.

3. Lunch with a couple from church. Jason and Mittu and Jim and I had been wanting to get together with these folks for some time, but it seemed like things kept getting in the way for one or more of us. We finally congregated last Sunday at Jason and Mittu’s house. We so enjoyed getting to know them better.

4. Impromptu dinner. Monday night, Jim brought in the leftover vegetables from the camping trip and made a salad. Then he remembered he had some salmon and trout in the freezer and offered to grill it for dinner. All I had to do was heat up some french fries in the air fryer for “fish and chips.”

5. Dinner out. Our microwave stopped heating this week. It would sound like it was running, and the lights and timer worked, but it wouldn’t heat anything. It was less than a year old and still under warranty, so Jim called the company. They were going to send someone out between 1 and 3. Then between 3 and 5. Someone finally got here after 5. He diagnosed the problem and said he’d have to order a part, which would take about a week. Jim brought over the small microwave in his office that we’d used when his mom was staying there. I had planned to wait to make dinner til after the repair guy came, since the microwave is right about the stove and I didn’t want to be in the middle of things when he came. By the time he got here, it was too late to go to Bible study. So we went to Texas Roadhouse. The only negative there is the place is so noisy. But the food was excellent and our waitress was wonderful.

Bonus: So many of my faves have to do with food this week! To balance that, my friend Melanie told me about Justin Augustin on Instagram. He has several short videos of low-impact, easy exercises for older people or those who have been sedentary. I love that he’s calm, low-key, and quiet. I don’t care for hyped-up, yelling videos. He has an app and probably some longer videos on YouTube, but I’ve saved several of these shorter ones.

Hope you’ve had a good week!

Review: The Women of Oak Ridge

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Women of Oak Ridge

When we first moved to the Knoxville area, we attended church in Oak Ridge. I saw signs about the “secret city” and wondered what they were referring to. I learned that Oak Ridge sprang up quickly and secretly during WWII as part of the Manhattan Project plans to build an atomic bomb. The Oak Ridge plants processed uranium. No one except top officials knew the purpose of the plants. Secrecy was strictly enforced. The employees only knew that their work was supposed to help the war effort. Oak Ridge was a restricted city complete with dormitories, trailers, grocery stores, tennis courts on which dances were held, even a movie theater.

Michelle Shocklee set her novel, The Women of Oak Ridge, in two different timelines. In 1944, young Maebelle Willett is recruited to work in the K-25 plant of Oak Ridge as an errand girl. The building is so big that bicycles are supplied for people like Mae to get around the plant. She took the job mainly for the salary: her father is a Kentucky coal miner suffering from black lung. She can help the family much more here than she could in KY. She enjoys her work, her young roommate, Sissy, and the social opportunities with friends and the young men on site.

Mae is suspicious of the man Sissy is dating. There’s just something off about him. The employees are not supposed to talk about their work, but this man shares disturbing details. When Sissy doesn’t return to their room after a date, Mae is sure Sissy’s boyfriend, Clive, had something to do with her disappearance. Her search to prove her suspicions leads to more trouble and then disaster.

In 1979, Mae’s niece, Laurel, lives in Boston and is working on her doctorate in psychology. When she learns about Oak Ridge’s part in the Manhattan Project, she think a study of the effects of long-term secrecy and the employees’ mixed feelings over finding out they were working on such a massively destructive weapon would be a good subject for her dissertation. She travels to Oak Ridge to spend the summer with her Aunt Mae, interviewing her and other former OR employees and doing research.

Mae welcomes Laurel but is close-lipped about her own wartime experience. Mae feels the past is best left there. Laurel nudges her gently, but when she sees how upset Mae gets over the subject, she backs off. Mae does give her the name of some friends who worked at the site to interview.

Laurel’s research of old Oak Ridge newspapers at the library leads her to a small notice placed by Mae asking for information about Sissy. Laurel tries to find out more without disturbing Mae. Will the results bring healing for Mae . . . or untold trouble?

I was fascinated when I first heard the history of Oak Ridge years ago, partly due to the thought of a whole secret city springing up out of nowhere, and partly in wonder over the hundreds of people who would move out of state to take a job they knew nothing about. I don’t think either occurrence would happen these days. Several years ago I read The Girls of Atomic City by Denise Kiernan, a factual account of Oak Ridge’s history. Michelle’s book lines up with the details in Denise’s–in fact, I wondered of she might have used it as a resource. It was fun to see the experience of a young new employee there fleshed out and to hear street names and places I recognized.

Parts of the book had me on the edge of my seat and looking for extra opportunities to listen to my audiobook of it. I loved the spiritual counsel Mae’s friend gives her about the freedom from guilt and sin that Jesus offers.

The only thing that bothered me about the plot was that young Mae seemed awfully naive–maybe a little clueless. She’s supposed to be naive: she’s young and has never been away from her small town before. But I got frustrated that her attempts and responses made things so much worse than they could have been. I can’t say more without giving away too many details.

However, we all have gotten into some level trouble at times from mistakes we’ve made. What a blessing and relief God’s grace is.

I listened to audiobook nicely narrated by Caroline Hewitt. The point of view switches back and forth between Mae’s early timeline in the 1940s and Laurel’s in 1979, but I didn’t find it difficult to follow along.

This is the first book of Michelle’s that I have read, and I am eager to check out more of her work.

Review: Van Gogh Has a Broken Heart

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Van Gogh Has a Broken Heart

Van Gogh Has a Broken Heart: What Art Teaches Us About the Wonder and Struggle of Being Alive by Russ Ramsey is similar to his earlier book, Rembrandt Is In the Wind. Each draws observations from art and artists. This second book explores the theme of suffering and the beauty and grace that comes from it.

Art shows us back to ourselves, and the best art doesn’t flinch or look away. Rather, it acknowledges the complexity of struggles like poverty, weariness, and grief while defiantly holding forth beauty—reminding us that beauty is both scarce and everywhere we look (p. 4).

Beauty pulls us upward toward something that calls for some measure of discretion, something to be treated with dignity and care, something sacred. What does it pull us toward? The truth that we were made to exist in the presence of glory (p. 5).

All art comes from somewhere. It comes from someone who is in the process of living the one life they’ve been given. The more we can understand the specifics of their individual experience, the more we will understand why they created what they did and why the world has responded to it in the way we have (p. 12).

Ramsey says sad stories are universal, and they can provide fellowship in whatever we’re going through as well as empathy for others. They help us wrestle with the evil and brokenness in the world. “They remind us not just that this world can wound us, but that wounds can heal. They remind us to hope” (p. 10). They show us that beauty can come from brokenness.

That’s not to say all art comes through suffering. I think it was in my Music Appreciation class in college I heard a comparison of Beethoven and Haydn and how their lives shaped their music. Beethoven had a difficult father, health issues, and started experiencing hearing loss before he was thirty. Haydn had struggles, but by his thirties he had a steady job as the music director for a prince. A lot of his work is light, clever, even playful, while Beethoven’s is rich in emotional depth. 

There are ten chapters in Ramsey’s book. One tells the story of how the Mona Lisa was stolen and recovered, Pablo Picasso was a suspect, and the painting became a lot more famous after the theft. Another contrasts Rembrandt’s Simeon’s Song of Praise, which is very detailed and elaborate, painted early in his career, with Simeon in the Temple, painted late in his career and found after his death. They cover the same incident in the Bible, but the latter is simple and focuses on Simeon’s emotion. 

When I look at the old painter’s reimagining of the scene, to my eye he doesn’t seem to want to show us the spectacle of the temple when Simeon held Jesus, or what he can do with it as a painter. After a life filled with suffering and sorrow, he just seems to want to hold Jesus (p. 51).

Artemisia Gentileschi was a painter I’d never heard of. Ramsey describes the difficulty of a woman in this field as well as an artist working “for hire”–not painting scenes she loved for the pure pleasure of it, but taking commissions of what others wanted to see painted. He points out that “she’s not a girl-power feminism icon. She’s an icon in the sense that she’s an example of a woman who’s navigating a world that’s not built for her” (p. 66).  “We must be careful not to romanticize her work to make it fit our own cultural moment. It is one thing to draw conclusions about the impact of her art over time, and quite another to assign intent to her body of work that may not represent how she thought about it (p. 66). I wish people who try to bring modern-day sensibilities into other people’s history would realize “If we come to an artist like Artemisia with a narrative already in mind and insert her into it, we dishonor her actual experience” (p. 67).

Joseph Turner was another artist I didn’t know, whose style changed about halfway through his career. Ramsey discusses the possible reasons and implications.

The Hudson River School I had heard of but didn’t realize it was: a group of landscape painters who went into unexplored areas of what would become the United States to show immigrants to the area what beauty and grandeur was there. But the beauty was also untamed and could be dangerous. And the influx of new European plans for colonization would clash with the Native Americans already there whose philosophy about the land was vastly different.

Van Gogh’s infamous cutting off of his ear is told in the context of his trying and failing to establish an artist’s residence with Gauguin. They only lived in the same yellow house for sixty-three days, “two of the most productive month’s of each artist’s career, and two of the most turbulent” (p. 125).

Norman Rockwell’s work was “Dismissed by critics, who considered his paintings to be too idyllic and sentimental to be great art (p. 139). Rockwell agreed his work wasn’t “the highest form of art,” but said “I love to tell stories in pictures–the story is the first thing and the last thing” (p. 139). His work was influenced by the new technology of the four-color press. He became a well-loved fixture of the Saturday Evening Post until he started painting scenes from the Civil Rights movement like The Problem We All Live With and Murder in Mississippi, based on real events.

Edgar Degas is known for detailed paintings of ballerinas, like The Dance Foyer at the Opera in 1872. But macular degeneration slowly changed his work to the much less distinct Two Dancers Resting in 1910. I can’t fathom the difficulty and painfulness of trying to portray one’s vision when one’s vision is deteriorating. After discussing other artists with failing vision, Ramsey notes, “The art changes, but not necessarily in a negative way. Often when affliction and compulsion collide, something deeper, truer, and more lasting is born” (p. 166). He quotes modern artist Jimmy Abegg, who also has macular degeneration, as saying “The bad isn’t so bad when you recognize the goodness that will emerge from it, whatever trail that leads me down” (p. 166). Ramsey comments, “Affliction stirs us awake to things we might not have seen otherwise” (p. 166) and seeing “through new eyes” requires courage and humility.

Ramsey includes appendices on the symbolism often used in art and and famous art heists. One appendix is titled “I Don’t Like Donatello, and You Can Too.” Ramsey says we don’t have to like or “get” every artist, but, with “a posture of openness, willing to learn and grow” (p. 192), we can appreciate even what we don’t like.

A few other quotes that stood out to me:

What comes out of this life is his business, but what I do will never be what makes me who I am. Because this is so, when suffering comes, it doesn’t have the power to unravel God’s design. Instead, the suffering becomes part of the fabric (p. 155).

Our sorrows are ultimately hallowed by the One who enters fully into the painful stories of our own lives in order to show us that our suffering matters, while also becoming the place from which the Spirit enables us to become agents of God’s healing grace to those who find themselves lost and alone in their griefs (p. xi).

The goal of suffering well is to move us not only beyond the stick figures, but also from a place of pride to one of intimacy and familiarity with our Lord. It is to move us not from crude to eloquent, but from unfamiliar to intimate. This is why we practice spiritual disciplines (p. 50).

To truly love someone is to move beyond first impressions into the heart of things; it is to take on the sacred work of stewarding another’s joys and sorrow (p. 132).

Think about the physiology of growing old. If the Lord grants us many years, the way to eternal glory will include the dimming of our vision, the slowing of our bodies, the dulling of our minds, and the diminishing of our appetites. It’s a path that requires us to loosen our grip on this world, preparing us to leave it before we leave it. Is this not mercy? (p. 136).

I had missed the fact that there were discussion guides for each chapter in the back until I finished the book. I wish these had been included at the end of the corresponding chapters.

I don’t know if Ramsey has any future books like these planned. I hope so. There are multitudes more paintings and artists that could be discussed. If he does, I’d love to hear his thoughts on a couple of issues. One, how to think about pictures of deity in art and the second commandment about not making images. I wrestled with my own thoughts on this a few years ago. Two, the depiction of nudity in art. I personally would rather not see nudity in art or anywhere else. (There are a couple of paintings involving female nudity in this book).

As with Ramsey’s first book about art, I appreciated not only the information but the thoughtful and beautiful way the author weaves spiritual truth into the narrative. The result is poignant and meditative.

How Can a Wife Help Her Husband?

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How Can a Wife Help Her Husband

We depend on our husbands for a lot of things: his work to provide for the family, his leadership, his companionship. He listens, encourages, supports. In many households, the husband takes care of car and home repairs. In some, he does the landscaping and lawn-mowing. And sometimes he helps with groceries, errand-running, laundry, housework, and even our projects.

It’s easy to depend on a husband’s help in myriad ways. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and Jesus certainly helps us.

But sometimes I’m reminded of Genesis 2:18, where God said He made woman a helper fit for or suitable for the man. And I wonder, am I being a help to my husband? And how do I do that?

I’m not much help with working on car or house repairs, except maybe for holding a flashlight or handing a tool. We prioritized my being home, first with the children, then to care for his mother, for most of our marriage, so my financial contribution was more on managing what we had well. Plus, I didn’t have the skill set to provide for us as he did.

I think a wife’s help to her husband will vary from marriage to marriage. 1 Peter 3:7 says husbands are to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge” or “in an understanding way,” depending on the translation. That’s also true of wives in regard to their husbands. We need to understand our own husbands and what he would consider helpful. I knew one woman who had been told that a good wife keeps a spotless home. But then she learned that her husband didn’t really care if the home was super-clean. He’d rather she spent more time with him than cleaning.

However, there are some ways we can each be a suitable helper.

Love him. Once a Sunday School teacher of a women’s class I was in came to Titus 2:3-4, which tells older women to teach the younger a number of things, including loving their husbands. The teacher said, “I think that just comes naturally, don’t you?” Then she went on to the next verse. If it came naturally, I don’t think we’d need to be taught it. The love that starts marriage is usually not the kind of love that sustains it. One of my teachers defined biblical love as the “self-sacrificial desire to meet the needs of the cherished person.” Our innate selfishness is going to come out, as is his, and we have to work at putting each other first.

Love God. Though we depend on our husband to provide for us, protect us, keep us from loneliness, and so many other things, we come to the place where we realize he can’t be everything to us. God works through our husbands to do those things, yet our ultimate dependence needs to be on God, not our husbands. And we need to lean on the Lord for strength and grace and wisdom to do our part.

Pray for him. Beyond asking God to bless his day, we can pray for wisdom for him at work and home, for God to help him grow and mature in Him. I often like to pray Colossians 1:9-12, as well as other Scriptures, for my loved ones.

Fellowship. The verse about woman being made a helper is in the context of creation. God had made the animals, then man. Adam named all the animals, but found no one like himself. God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. He made woman as a helper. So it seems one of the first and best ways to help our husbands is to be with them, to listen to them. It’s easy, with so much to do in life, to just pass each other on the way to other tasks and appointments. We need to prioritize time together.

Providing a safe place. We should be the main ones our husbands can share with or vent to without worrying about being put down or having what he told us in confidence shared with others.

Respect. Yes, respect goes both ways. But Ephesians 5:33 tells wives specifically to respect their husbands.

In one book I read some years ago, a poll among Christian men showed that the majority of them valued respect even more than love (1). We should never ridicule, demean, put down, or scold our husbands. If there’s something we’d like him to do differently, we need to express that in a tone like we’d use with a friend or boss or anyone else we respected.

But what if he’s not acting in a way we can respect? It helps me to turn this question around. The same verse that talks about wives respecting husbands says a husband should love his wife as himself. Do we want our husbands to love us only when we deserve it, when we act lovable? No! We want him to show love even when–maybe especially when–we’re not acting so lovable. He loves us not because of how we act, but out of obedience to God. So we should respect him out of obedience to God. Even if we can’t respect everything he does, we can show respect to him as a person and in his position as our husband.

Manage expectations. Our husbands are not going to be perfect. They’re not always going to be spiritual giants. Elisabeth Elliot wrote that we marry a sinner, because there is no one else to marry. She also said that, instead of harping on the 20% or so that we might disagree with, we need to appreciate the 80% we like.

Colossians 3:12-13 was written to the church to practice in everyday life, which surely includes the home: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

In addition, we need to be realistic about what he does do. Often I hear wives wish their husbands would do more. In our home, my husband worked 40+ hours a week, did the yard work and taxes, paid the bills, took care of home repairs, and did everything involving the vehicles. Should I then expect him to help me with everything I do as well? He was always willing, if he was able, and I did call on him a lot. But I tried to be conscience of what he was already doing and not overload him.

Submit to him. Yes, Ephesians 5:21 says we’re to submit to one another. But verse 22, as well as Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1, Titus 2:4-5, tells wives to submit to their husbands. This doesn’t mean he lords it over her or that she’s a doormat with no opinions of her own. But if we’re constantly pulling against him or his leadership, we’re hurting more than helping.

Be content. It’s not wrong to want to make improvements or to dream of a bigger home or new furniture or nicer clothes. But those things usually have to be managed over time. We need to wait patiently and not constantly complain.

Respect his work. Hollywood has made several movies about workaholic dads who need to learn that their families are more important than the corporate world. But often those stories are unrealistic. I wonder if men who work at home feel even more pressure to put away work to help at home or go to family activities. Providing for his family is the responsibility of a husband and father (that’s not to say wives can’t work, but usually the bulk falls on the husband).

I had to learn this the hard way when my husband’s job started requiring him to travel. I often wailed to the Lord that this wasn’t what I signed up for. But then it seemed my husband had even more road trips. Even when he wasn’t traveling, he usually worked way over forty hours a week. He wasn’t a workaholic, but he had a strong work ethic and felt the responsibility of making sure the job was done rather than clocking out just because it was 5 p.m.

Inspiration came for me in the form of a novel, A Quiet Strength by Janette Oke, about a young woman’s struggles during the first few years of marriage .Though I had been married for years and the main character was a newlywed, her struggles with being left alone so much while her husband worked on the farm and built their home resonated with me. He saw what he was doing as an expression of love and care for her. But all she could see was her loneliness. In novel style, they had a big blowup, then talked things out, then found small ways to connect to offset the time apart. My husband and I didn’t have a blowup, but I needed to seek contentment, maturity, and God’s strength. This all led to a post titled Coping When Your Husband Is Away, which turned out to be one of my most viewed posts. I had no idea so many women had the same struggle.

Encourage his friendships with other men. Though we’re probably our husbands’ main social outlet, we can’t be the only one. The Bible has much to say about our fellowship with other believers. My husband has always encouraged my friendship with other women, but he has sometimes been reluctant to get together with other men outside of work and church since his job took him away from home so much. But he did enjoy work days and men’s prayer breakfasts. Now that he’s retired, he sometimes gets together for coffee or lunch with other men.

Give him some time to himself. It’s not usually wise to hit him at the door with bad news (unless it’s an emergency) or a litany of all the problems that came up that day. Give him some time to decompress or work on his hobbies. This varies from person to person, but an introvert will be much better with others when he has some time alone.

Be trustworthy. Proverbs 31:1-12 says of the excellent wife, “The heart of her husband trusts in her. . . She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Of course we shouldn’t lie or hide things from our husbands. But sometimes we’re tempted to shade the truth if we feel he’s going to disapprove or be disappointed in something we did. It’s better to be open and honest, even if we need to confess something or apologize.

Ask for what you need, don’t nag. When we need some of the help mentioned in the first paragraph or some time alone, we can ask for it in a kind, cooperative, and patient way. We don’t need to demand or needle or fuss. If there’s a conflict, we can graciously seek to work it out.

Ask him. Books and articles about marriage can be helpful, but no two are alike. We each bring different personalities, gifts, and traditions to the relationship. We each adapt to our own spouse. There may be ways we think we’re helping that aren’t so helpful. Or there may be a way to help that we haven’t thought of.

Does this sound exhausting? God will give strength in our weakness and grace to help in time of need.

Genesis 2:18

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(1) For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I read this years ago and don’t remember if I agreed with everything in it. But this point stood out to me.

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