Two views of housework

Posted on March 11, 2008 by Barbara Harper

I. It’s such a waste of time to cook.
I’m just a walking cookery book.
I make and bake the morning through,
The favorite pies and pudding, too.
Then in half an hour or less,
My toil has gone to nothingness.
It’s a waste of time to dust the stairs,
To clean the brass and polish chairs,
To sweep and pick up bits of fluff,
For nothing ever is clean enough.
Five minutes after I have done,
Someone is sure to romp and run,
Kick out the stair rods, flick the mats,
Slam the doors and scare the cats.
Some sticky hand is sure to press
The brasses from their sprightliness.
I tidy up and do the dusting,
But all the while my wings are rusting.
Then washing day it seems to me
Is just a waste of energy.
What use to stand before a tub
And soak and rinse and blue and rub?
Next week the selfsame garment’s stain
Will come into my hands again.
It’s such a waste of time to mend.
One has no sooner reached the end
Of last week’s pile then, need you ask it,
This week’s filled up the mending basket.
The stockings, which were hale and hearty,
Return from each picnicking party,
Weak and worn and wanly show
Great gaping holes in heel and toe,
While buttons have a cantankerous way
Of disappearing every day.
Sponging off the spots and ironing creases,
Between it all I’m worn to pieces.
Woman, from cradle to grave,
Is nothing but a galley slave.

II. I’ve done an angel’s work today.
Yes, such an honor came my way.
Real angel’s work. Lest you doubt it,
I’m going to tell you all about it.
Well, first I cooked. It was so nice
To plan the pies, stewed fruit and rice.
God sent His angel once to make cakes
For a poor wayfarer’s sake.
Just today He honored me
And sent the task my way, you see.
Then while I tidied up the place,
Gave every knob a radiant face,
Back of my mind this thought would lurk-
That I was still at angel’s work.
Putting away coats and dresses
And moving small, unsightly messes,
For oh, ’tis such a lovesome thing,
Just straightening out and freshening.
And after that, I washed a few
Small woolly garments, old, not new,
Things I had rubbed and rinsed before,
Quite forty times or even more.
As I hung them on the line,
I thought what Godlike work was mine-
To cleanse, ah me, to wash out stains
Till not a single speck remains.
So later in the day, ’twas sweet
To sit and rest my tired feet,
Mending the clothes and plan out, too,
How to make old things into new.
For surely it is an angel’s way
To put things right from day to day,
To find thin places and repair
The glad rags and the sturdy wear.
Since wear and tear must surely be
On this side of eternity,
I’m feeling very proud to say
I’ve done an angel’s work today.

~ Author unknown

I’m afraid my attitude is too often the former…but I am working on it!

(Clip art courtesy of Microsoft)

Enjoying each other’s gifts

Posted on February 21, 2008 by Barbara Harper

A couple of weeks ago Shannon had a post titled Wonder Woman Is Just a Chick in Tights and Barb wrote about Murdering a Myth, both posts having to do with not thinking that any of the bloggers we read are super-women, realizing that we only see brief glimpses of their lives and not the whole picture, being careful not to compare ourselves with others, etc. I agree with everything they said, so I am not going to repeat it here. I did just want to bring up one other aspect for thought, though.

Let me try to convey what I am talking about with a non-blogging example first. At our ladies’ meetings at church, different ladies sign up to hostess each meeting by bringing refreshments and setting up the refreshment table. One lady who used to attend was really gifted at putting on a spread and did several really neat dishes. We all really enjoyed it. But I heard a little bit of a buzz afterward along the lines of “How can I ever follow that?” So I felt I had to reassure ladies that it was ok to just bring a pan of brownies, that it was ok to keep it simple, that the refreshments weren’t the main point of the meeting. And that’s true. But then I almost felt I was discouraging anyone who was gifted in that area from exercising that gift. And I thought, why can’t we just enjoy it when someone excels in an area rather than comparing ourselves and then feeling depressed about it?

Years and years ago, probably before I had kids, I attended a ladies’ Christmas party in a different church where each lady was supposed to bring some type of food. Heaven knows there are some situations like that in which I am doing good to bring just a package of Oreos, but that particular time I had seen a neat idea for wrapping a Styrofoam cone in foil, placing it upside down on a tray (like a Christmas tree, mimicking the aluminum ones that were popular at one time) then sticking little cut-outs of cheese and little bits of vegetables on toothpicks all over the cone to look like ornaments (with a little star cut out of cheese with a cookie cutter on top. 🙂 ) Then, this idea from a magazine also involved boiling the long green parts of green onions until they were limp and the using them like ribbons to tie little groups of carrot sticks and celery sticks together to place on the tray around the cone like presents. (That does all sound a little over the top now, doesn’t it? I might still do the cone thing another time, but probably not the boiling and wrapping.)

When I brought that tray to the party, at first people oohed and ahhed over it (and we do have to be careful that we’re not always doing things to get oohs and ahhs. I don’t think it’s wrong to bask in someone’s appreciation, to be pleased that someone enjoyed our efforts, but if we’re living for that, if we get down because no one oohed and ahhed, that’s a problem — but that’s a different post). But then someone made what seemed to me a cutting remark — I don’t remember what was said exactly, but something like, “Some of us just don’t have time for that kind of thing!” She probably didn’t mean it this way, but her tone seemed to me to say, “Some of us have more important things to do.” I don’t know if I am adequately conveying it, but it hurt, and it took a lot of the pleasure out of having tried to do something special.

As I look over the different aspects of my life, I don’t see any area where I would consider myself an expert. There is always going to be someone who can do anything that I can do better than I do it. And that’s ok.

I do believe in striving for excellence as unto the Lord, for improving, for doing my best. But we shouldn’t necessarily be striving for excellence to beat everybody else out. Unless we’re Olympic athletes or something. But can you imagine living with that kind of pressure, to be constantly striving to be better that everyone else, and when you’ve achieved it, you’re only the best til the next competition? I am glad I am not called to that.

I said all of that to say this. There are bloggers who excel in many categories. There are experts in frugality. There are efficient and creative homemakers. There are organizational whirlwinds. There are inspiring crafters. There are excellent writers who bring tears to me eyes or have me laughing out loud (sometimes in the same post!) There are those who excel in housekeeping, in parenting, in wifing, in their line of work, in devotional writing, in Biblical teaching — in every area. And I think most, if not all of them, are blogging sincerely without any smugness or desire to make anyone else feel bad.

So, instead of comparing ourselves to each other, which the Bible tells us is unwise, why can’t we just enjoy each other’s gifts? We may even be inspired and take away a few pointers. When I peruse crafter’s blogs, I may not do the exact things they do, but their creativity inspires me to be creative. Someone who takes joy in their housekeeping inspires me to think of it joyfully as well, even if I don’t do every little thing they do in the way they do it. I may not emulate every tip of a frugal blogger, but their carefulness and watchfulness inspires me to be more careful in my spending. I have to admit, I have read some gifted writing amongst some bloggers, and I’ve looked up to the ceiling and thought, “What do I think I’m doing trying to write? I should just point people to them!” And sometimes I do. But each of us has our own sphere of influence and our own calling. We can glean from others, learn from them, be inspired by them — and just enjoy their exercise of the gifts and talents God has given them while seeking His wisdom and strength for what He wants us to do.

More on marriage and other womanly concerns

Posted on February 20, 2008 by Barbara Harper

I meant to mention in yesterday’s post about loving husbands a resource someone shared with me. At the Revive Our Hearts site is a link for praying for your husband every day. It has a list of different aspects to pray for each day of the month.

Susan had a great post today about marriage.

I don’t know many Christian women bloggers who don’t read girltalk, but if you don’t, they have been having a series this week about dealing with PMS, postpartum depression, and menopause. It’s been very helpful.

Fall Y’all Giveaway

Posted on October 29, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Comments are now closed and I am about to draw a winner….

If you haven’t heard yet about Shannon’s Fall Y’all giveaway extravaganza, the guidelines are here, and the list of participants is here.

One of my most favorite things to do is read, and I spend a number of posts talking about good books I’ve found, so I wanted books to be a part of my giveaway.

I also spend a lot of time talking about the importance of the Word of God, so my first giveaway is a devotional book called Daily Light on the Daily Path. It is made up entirely of Scripture, compiled by the Samuel Bagster family. I don’t know how many times my reading for the day has given me just what I needed for the time.

The other books I want to give away as a set: The Secret Life of Becky Miller and Renovating Becky Miller by Sharon Hinck. I reviewed them earlier here and here. I know a lot of “Mom bloggers” participate in this giveaway, and Becky Miller is a young mom who wants to do “big things for God” but finds out life doesn’t always go the way she dreams it will. There are some hilarious moments as well as sweet and poignant moments. You don’t have to be a mom to get the spiritual lessons in the books, though.

Leave a comment on this post and let me know if you are interested in either the devotional book or the Becky Miller set or both. I will close comments Friday night at midnight EST and use the random number generator to draw two winners on Saturday morning. This contest is open to anyone anywhere. One comment per person, please. You don’t have to have a blog to enter, but if you don’t just be sure to leave your e-mail address so I have a way to notify you if you’ve won.

I am also going to try to have another crafty give-away in a couple of days if I can get it together — it’s shaping up to be another busy week! But if I do I will post another link to the Fall Y’all giveaway page.

P.S.: Here is a works-for-me tip for keeping up with the giveaways I’ve entered. I started an e-mail to myself (though it could also be done via a Word document — I just used my e-mail because it’s always open when I am online and it’s handy) and listed the item and the address of the contest, then saved it in the “Mail waiting to be sent” folder. It’s easy to open back up when I go back to checking more giveaway posts. I think most of those offering a giveaway notify the winner, but some don’t, so this way I can run back through the list when this week is over and check the winners’ names.

Works-For-Me Wednesday: Backwards Day, #2

Posted on October 3, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I had already posted a question for this week’s Backwards Day version of WFMW below, then much later on I remembered something else I had wanted to ask about, so I thought since it was a different topic I’d make it a different post rather than adding on to the previous one.

Someone e-mailed me this week asking if I knew of any Christian resources for dealing with menopause, particularly the problems resulting from lack of sleep and from depression. I don’t, but since this is something I will likely be dealing with in the next few years, I’d like to have some good resources on hand, too.

Know of any?

Again, to take this opportunity to ask for tips from the blogosphere, go to Shannon’s at Rocks In My Dryer.

Mother’s Day reading and assorted stray thoughts

Posted on May 12, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Elisabeth Elliot wrote a leaflet she titled “A Call to Spiritual Motherhood” which she read in on of her radio broadcasts. You can read the transcript here. It is an excellent article encouraging all of us in any stage of life to spiritually “mother” younger women. Many of us have had godly women besides out own mothers who were shining examples to us, who taught us along the way and encouraged us. I think they are worthy of honor on a day like Mother’s Day, too. 🙂

Girltalk has some excellent articles for those who have lost children to miscarriage or a later death, struggle with infertility or have wayward children, for whom this time of year can be quite painful.

Annie’s Mother’s Day pages have several neat links. I especially liked What the Bible Says About Mothers.

Anna Jarvis is regarded as the founder of Mother’s Day. The purpose she had in mind was:

..To revive the dormant filial love and gratitude we owe to those who gave us birth. To be a home tie for the absent. To obliterate family estrangement. To create a bond of brotherhood through the wearing of a floral badge. To make us better children by getting us closer to the hearts of our good mothers. To brighten the lives of good mothers. To have them know we appreciate them, though we do not show it as often as we ought…

Mothers Day is to remind us of our duty before it is too late.

This day is intended that we may make new resolutions for a more active thought to our dear mothers. By words, gifts, acts of affection, and in every way possible, give her pleasure, and make her heart glad every day, and constantly keep in memory Mothers Day; when you made this resolution, lest you forget and neglect your dear mother, if absent from home write her often, tell her of a few of her noble good qualities and how you love her.

“A mother’s love is new every day.”

God bless our faithful good mothers.

So many times these days the focus is on “how to be a better mother” on Mother’s Day rather than honoring one’s own mother. There is nothing wrong with writings and sermons about how to be a better mother — I know I certainly need them. But I think that focus can make this day all the more painful for those mentioned above who have lost children or can’t have children.

What if you don’t feel your mother is worthy of honor? The command to honor our fathers and mothers is just that — a command. I don’t think I ever felt my mother unworthy, but in my teens I did struggle for a brief while with respecting my parents. One day after a sermon on “Children, obey your parents,” it occurred to me that the two passages that teach that (Ephesians 6:1-3 and Colossians 3:20) do not qualify the command (obey if they are saved, if they are perfect, if they do everything just right, if they deserve it). I realized that all of the commands about relationships in the rest of those passages were not dependent on the other person doing his or her part. We’re supposed to do our part whether the other one does or not. I was supposed to obey my parents and respect their position as my parents. I had to apologize for my attitude, and the Lord enabled me to indeed honor them and respect them, and even to appreciate them and to be thankful for the life they gave me, the care they took of me, and so many more things. It showed in my attitude (I had never been allowed to “backtalk,” but there are other ways a disrespectful attitude can seep out), and the Lord healed the breach between my parents and me. I hope to write a tribute to my mom tomorrow. She passed away a year and a half ago, and I miss her terribly.

So I encourage you to truly honor your mom tomorrow. If she is no longer with you, you can honor her memory. That might even be a testimony to someone else.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

I Corinthians 13 for mothers

Posted on May 9, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I Corinthians 13 Paraphrased For Mothers
Adapted by Jim Fowler

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness not godliness.

If I scream at my children for every infraction, and fault them for every mess they make, but have not love, my children become people-pleasers not obedient children.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.

Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.

Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love accepts the fact that I am the ever-present “mommy,” the taxi-driver to every childhood event, the counselor when my children fail or are hurt.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, and runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God’s perfection of my child. All the projections I had for my house and my children have faded away into insignificance, and what remain are the memories of my kids.

Now there abides in my home scratches on most of the furniture, dishes with missing place settings, and bedroom walls full of stickers, posters and markings,

But the greatest of all is the Love that permeates my relationships with my children.

One of my favorite people

Posted on May 8, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Several weeks ago at our ladies’ meeting one of my favorite people in all the world spoke to us. Margaret Stringer was a missionary to Indonesia (then known as Irian Jaya, now West Papua) for over 40 years. She’s been “retired” from the field for the last 2-3 years, but she stays more active than a lot of people half her age. When she retired she thought she would never have an opportunity to go back, but she was able to go for several weeks last November and December. She showed some video footage (24 minutes condensed from 5 hours) while she told us what was going on, interspersed with some history here and there of the people.I tell you — seeing footage of former cannibals and headhunters now singing hymns, hearing about the most powerful and feared witch doctor in the area who became a believer and whose son is now the head of the church — that just does something to your heart. The same God who performed miracles in lives in Bible times, who worked through Hudson Taylor and Amy Carmichael and other well-known missionaries in centuries past, is still the same God today and still has the same power to change lives.

Margaret and her co-worker were the last of what was a pretty good-sized mission station, with a doctor and his wife, and I think other missionary couples and three single ladies, if I remember correctly. There are some missionaries who go to work in one church in another country for life, and there are others who go to various places and start works, then “work themselves out of a job” by training the new believers to take over their own church — there’s a place for both types. But Margaret’s village was the latter type. I appreciated the way she endeavored to help them not to be too dependent on her. When they asked her to name the church, for instance, she told them they should name it.

She told us about one man who, during this visit, said something like, “When you left us, I was very sad for a long time. But you told us you were leaving God here, and He helped me. So when you leave this time, I will be sad, but not for as long a time, because God is here with me.” She said that’s not exactly how she put it to him, it it was so neat he got the concept that God was still there and didn’t leave when she did, and he could depend on Him.

I was amazed at her fearlessness. In one piece of footage, she was getting out of a boat to see one of the villages she used to work in, and one man took her hand and began leading her away. Her friend said, “Where are you going?” She said, “I don’t know!” As people came to greet her and hug her, the man would stop for a few minutes, and then take her hand and lead her away again. Finally he led her to his house, where he had prepared lunch for them.

Margaret can tell tales about harrowing, scary experiences that have us all in stitches laughing.

Some years ago before she retired, I asked her if she had ever considered writing a book, and she said yes, she was thinking about it. She’s had such interesting life experiences that she tells in such an engaging way, and the Lord’s hand has been so obviously in her life, I really feel these stories need to be shared.

Her first book is out now, titled From Cannibalism to Christianity. She had several copies with her that night, so I got one for myself plus two to give away to my mother-in-law and one friend who couldn’t come.

This book tells the story of one particular village, from first contact to the establishment of a full-fledged church. There are hilarious moments as well as frightening ones. But what joy there is in seeing the light of understanding dawn after repeated sharing of the gospel. I don’t remember if Margaret said this in the book, but I know I heard her say while speaking to us that there were moments when she thought, “This isn’t going to make sense to them.” Imagine sharing the Word of God with someone who doesn’t know anything about it and doesn’t know who God is. Yet they did share God’s Word by faith, and the Holy Spirit gave understanding and conviction.

Secularists don’t have to worry about the people’s culture being infringed on. The people still have their own traditions and culture. But they also have hope and life. As I said in an earlier post, I don’t know why anyone, even the most unchristian person on the planet, would have any objection to helping people get rid of traditions like cannibalism and killing a twin baby.

I asked Margaret’s cousin (I believe that’s who it was — either a cousin or a sister-in-law) who came with her if Margaret was writing any more books. She said Margaret had some in mind but had a hard time getting still enough to write with all the invitations to speak. I hope she keeps having opportunities to speak, but I hope some time she can find a way to keep writing, too. I would love to read her life story some time.

Like Women of the Bible

Posted on January 23, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail years ago. The original author is unknown. This would make a good jump-start for a Bible study, but just reading over these is convicting and instructive, too:

LIKE WOMEN OF THE BIBLE

Like Deborah, I will serve the Lord in power and speak His word without fear.

Like Esther, I will intercede for God’s people before the throne.

Like Abigail, I will humble myself to wash the feet of the servants of the Lord.

Like Sarah, I will respect my spouse and his ministry to the Lord.

Like Hannah, I will dedicate my children to the Lord.

Like Priscilla, I will explain the way of God more perfectly to those who are seeking.

Like the Shunamite widow, I will trust God in the day of adversity.

Like Lydia, I will be a worshiper of God and open my home to His ministers.

Like Tabitha (Dorcas), I will always do good and help the poor.

Like Joanna, I will use my wealth to support the ministry of Jesus.

Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, I will hear the word of God to me and answer, “Be it unto me as you have said”.

Like Mary, the sister of Martha, I will know the voice of Jesus and hear his words.

Like Mary, the mother of Mark, I will make my home a haven for the followers of Jesus.

Like Mary, the Magdalene, I will keep at the feet of Jesus and love him unto death.

Answers to prayer from classic missionary biogaphies: an urgent need for clothes

Posted on September 18, 2006 by Barbara Harper

I mentioned in a previous post that I wanted to start a short series telling about answers to prayer from classic missionary biographies in hopes that it would encourage us in our faith and in our praying.

I wanted to start off with something close to home. Missionaries don’t spend all their time on the front lines fighting spiritual battles or out on the streets witnessing to everyone they meet. They have to deal with the same mundane affairs of life that we all do, and often those mundane affairs are more complicated than they are in America. That was especially true in previous centuries.

The Goforths were missionaries to China in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Mrs. Goforth has written Goforth of China, a biography of her husband; How I Know God Answers Prayer (I was delighted to find what appears to be all or most of the text of this book here); and Climbing, which includes many anecdotes she was requested to share as well as some of her own personal struggles. The following comes from Climbing.

The Goforths had just escaped from the Boxer Rebellion in China to Shanghai. Until a ship left that they could find passage on, they had to stay in an empty house with little furniture. In the ten days they were there, her husband and son Paul bought some ready-made clothes, and she was able to have one dress made.

But the other three children! They were in rags given by the Chinese on the journey. How could I, without materials, without a machine, get an outfit made for even one, and the ocean voyage just ahead! Alone with the baby one morning I cast myself down by the little one and cried again and again to the Lord to send someone to help me. My distress was great. Help I must have, but I knew no one to whom I could turn. Then suddenly, while I was praying, the doorbell rang. On opening the door I found two women outside. They introduced themselves and told of having seen our names among those of the refugees. They were in charge of a Chinese girls’ school, but on account of the Boxer troubles, all the girls had been sent home. They then said, “We have nothing to do and thought you may need help.” Scarcely able to speak, I told them rapidly my story; how I was on my knees pleading for help when they rang the bell. A few moments followed in which we stood clasping hands, weeping, just too full for speech. Then they went away to get materials, for there was no time to lose.

In a very short time, they returned with a pile of materials of from three- to five- yard lengths. I cut out and gave directions for a number of garments. The women took all away and, with the help of some friends, made practically everything needed except for the baby, who, in the rush of getting others provided for, was forgotten! The day we sailed, I gathered a quantity of material together, planning to make the most necessary things for him on board ship. Then came the most beautiful proof of God’s overshadowing care.

We had been passing through the Inland Sea and were nearing Yokohama. I had been trying my utmost to get some necessary things ready for baby W., but my hands trembled so I could scarcely hold the needle. I struggled on, realizing my strength was going, but kept sewing til I could no longer see the needle. Rising, I folded the work, and, going down to the cabin, put it quietly, numbly into the trunk, saying, “Lord, I have done all I can. I can do no more. As you provided for the others, do so now for baby.” I then went on deck and lay down on a long chair exhausted. How long I lay there I do not know, but suddenly someone touched me and said, “There’s a large bundle come off the lighter for you: it is in your cabin.” Dazed at first, I could not take it in. Then it flashed into my mind, “It’s the answer.”

In the cabin, I found a letter attached to the bundle from Mrs. O. E., of the China Inland Mission, whose husband was at that time risking his life in China, seeking to bring out to safety women of the mission who were in peril. The letter stated that her little son, the same age as my baby, had died some months before and she felt it laid upon her to send me, for my child, his outfit. I opened the bundle to find not only a most beautiful, complete outfit for my little one, but also many things I needed for myself and the other children. It was indeed one of the Lord’s exceedingly abundant answers. Is it any wonder that those words written so long ago by the psalmist have always had a deep thrill of response in my heart?

I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. – Psalm 116:1-2.