Sometimes love means….

Posted on October 19, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Most of my driving involves just a few miles from my home. We can get to our church and school in three minutes if the three traffic lights on the way are green, and most of the stores we go to aren’t much farther. So when a light comes on and a ding sounds from my car’s dashboard telling me I have less than 1/8 of a tank of gas, I can still drive for three or four days without filling up the car if it is a normal week. Stopping for gas is not one of my favorite things to do, so I tend to put it off and then fill the car to the brim so I don’t have to do it again soon. When I hear that “ding,” I click on the button that tells me the DTE (distance til empty) and keep an eye on it over the next few days.

My car had “dinged” a couple of days ago, but the DTE showed I still had several miles before I needed a fill-up. Yesterday we had to take my car to the shop because the brakes were making awful noises, and my husband and oldest son went to pick the car up late in the afternoon. This morning when I got into the car to take Jesse to school, I glanced at my DTE and saw that it said something like 258 miles: Jim must have filled the car up after he picked it up from the shop yesterday. I told Jesse (and hope he remembers when he gets married) that sometimes flowers or a nice night out show love, but sometimes little things like filling up someone’s car with gas shows love, too. Those little signs of being cared for do a heart good.

I got to thinking about other “little” ways that my loved ones show me their love and care, and I thought I’d list a few. I invite you to do the same either here in the comments or on your own blog (and if you do the latter, let me know — I’d love to read your list). I might be adding to this as more things come to mind.

Sometimes love means…

— putting gas in my car.

— killing bugs or taking care of other unwanted “critters.”

— changing light bulbs. I have a balance problem, and though I can climb up on a chair, it’s hard for me to let go of the chair to use my hands for anything.

— watching “chick flicks” with me.

— listening when I talk about a problem without necessarily trying to “fix” it.

— patience when I am running behind.

— taking care of the “mess” when the kids are sick. That actually started when our firstborn was a baby and had gotten sick all over himself and his bedding. As my husband and I both took care of him, the smell and “ick” factor were almost overwhelming to me, and though I don’t think I said anything out loud, somehow Jim knew. He said, “Honey, why don’t you go on out and let me clean this up before I have two messes to deal with.” That started a routine, wherever the kids were sick, that he would take care of and clean up the child, and I would take the bedding and messed-up clothes straight to the washer. (I can deal with it if I need to, especially when Jim’s not home, but it involves taking several steps away to breathe fresh air for a minute and then coming back.) Even now, when one of the kids has the “throw-up pan,” Jim will usually empty it out and rinse it on his own initiative.

— working hard to provide for us.

Thank you, honey, for these things and for all that you do. I appreciate it so much, and I don’t tell you often enough.

With my kids, sometimes love means…

— doing what I ask you to cheerfully and without complaining or groaning.

— doing something that needs to be done without being asked.

— appreciation of the food I make, even if it is just tuna sandwiches.

— for my oldest son, patiently and often answering my computer questions.

There are so many ways you guys make me feel loved, but these are a few that come to mind. Thank you!

I have a couple of dear friends who make me feel loved by sending unexpected, thoughtful little notes sometimes and by their genuine attentiveness and interest in my life.

So how about you? What are some ways those in your life make you feel loved?

(Graphic courtesy of the stock.xchnge)

What women want…in a Christian man

Posted on September 17, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Several years ago as it began to dawn on me that my oldest two sons weren’t too far from leaving the nest, I wondered if I had taught them everything they needed to know. Different topics came to mind that I wanted to be sure they had a handle on by the time they were out on their own. We talked about different aspects of some of these things “in person,” but because our schedules weren’t always conducive to lengthy conversations and because I think better and express myself better in writing, I decided to write them occasionally, a la King Lemuel’s mother.

And just recently I thought it might be good to post a couple of those here.

This particular note is from February 2005. I have adapted it a little bit from the original.

Hi guys!

It has been a while since I have written one of these. But lately I have been thinking of writing to you something of what kinds of things most Christian woman want to see in men. I know that neither of you is on the verge of getting engaged in the very near future, but you are in the process of becoming the kind of husband and father you will be someday, so it is a good thing to be thinking about preparing yourself for that time.

And of course, I can’t speak for all women. 🙂 But there are some generalities that I think are pretty true of most conscientious Christian women.

1. A man who is a Christian, actively growing in the Lord and serving Him. It gives a woman a lot of confidence if she knows the man in her life is right with the Lord and seeking to know His will and follow Him. She can trust his leadership.

2. Leadership without tyranny. There was an excellent article in a magazine that Jason got about the parallels of leadership of a church and a family. Pastors are told in Scripture not to “lord it over” their flocks but to lead by example (I Peter 5:2-4), and that is true of husbands and fathers as well. While the man is the leader of the home (I Corinthians 11;3; Ephesians 5:23) and responsible before God for his family, there shouldn’t be any ruling with an iron fist. While she knows the final decision rests with you, she doesn’t want to feel that she doesn’t have a voice and her opinions don’t matter. One reason God gave woman to man was to “complete” him, to come alongside and minister to him and encourage him. That can’t happen if he doesn’t listen to her.

If that doesn’t quite make sense, think of it from your own standpoint. You have been under authority all your lives (and will continue to be under some kind of authority all your lives). You know your dad, your pastor, your teachers, even your bosses are “in charge” to various degrees, but I think you have experienced various kinds of leadership styles now to know how it feels when someone is over-authoritarian. On the other hand, you don’t want a leader who is kind of wimpy and ineffective, like a teacher that everyone runs over.

This includes spiritual leadership. She doesn’t want to be the one to always suggest, or wish, that you prayed together or read the Bible together.

3. A man worthy of reverence. Ephesians tells a woman to “reverence” her husband. One time when I studied it out, it seemed to mean a deep respect, even just short of worship.

When ungodly leaders have been in office, sometimes we have to remind ourselves as Christians that we are supposed to honor those in authority over us and respect their positions even if we can’t respect them personally. You don’t want to put those under your leadership in a position of having to think that way with you, to have to make themselves respect you because they are “supposed” to — you want to have the kind of character that calls forth that kind of respect. That doesn’t mean perfection — none of us is perfect — but it means by and large as a general rule to live and act in a way that others can respect you.

4. Protection. A woman wants to feel cared for and protected by her husband — protected from harm and from evil.

5. Provision. God has ordained that the man be the provider for the home and the woman cares for the home and family. That doesn’t mean a woman can never work outside the home (that might be another topic for another day). I hope that you’ll place a priority on having your wife be able to stay at home, especially when she has children. I worked before you guys were born, but I am so grateful that He provided so that I could be a stay-at-home mom. I think because my mom worked so much I especially wanted to be at home with you. I wanted to be the one to teach you and influence you and see you grow up — I didn’t want to give that over to someone else. I just wanted to be with you as you grew up. And besides that, I came to find out I just didn’t have the capacity to keep up with everything at home and still do much else outside the home. I know some women who apparently can, but I couldn’t.) There are times when it is helpful to have her income, like when you first get married and are setting up housekeeping, and there may be times when despite a man’s best efforts he can’t find work. But the overall attitude should be that as God enables you, you’ll be the provider.

6. Understanding. 1Peter 3:7 says, ” Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” I think that knowledge can include knowledge of women in general and how they think and react differently from men, but also knowledge of her in particular.

7. Love. There is a book I’ve never read but heard a lot about called The Five Love Languages. Basically it is the idea that different people perceive love different ways. For some, saying thoughtful loving things to them makes them feel especially loved; for others, physical touch — a quick hug, a pat on the arm, etc. makes them feel special and loved. I think the 5 are: words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service (doing things for them), giving, and time. Of course, all of us love to be loved in all of those ways, but the premise of the book is that everyone primarily perceives love in one of those ways more than others, and we should try to find out what makes our loved ones most feel loved and try to express love to them in that way. Whether you agree with all the book says or not, I think the premise is true. It shouldn’t be, as the old saying goes, “I told her I loved her when we got married, and I’ll let her know if that ever changes.” You need to actively show her you love her. Nor should it be as the illustration a former pastor used to tell of a man who for years every Sunday night after church made himself and his wife a snack of cinnamon toast, giving her the heel. After a number of years she burst into tears, saying it made her feel so unloved that he gave her the worst slice if bread, He said, “But, honey, the heel is my favorite part.” He thought he was giving up the best for her; she thought he was giving her the worst. The key there is communication.

There are probably more things, but these are what come to mind just now. 🙂

Love ya!
Mom

Sites to see in Blogville

Posted on July 17, 2007 by Barbara Harper

One of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time is from Clint, newly back in the States missionary from Venezuela and husband of Jungle Mom, on The Most Elusive and Dangerous Prey. I was going to post couple of tidbits, but I don’t want to spoil it. Go read it — you’ll have fun. 🙂 Not in Kansas Anymore!!! is pretty funny, too.

If you love crafty eye candy, you need to see the Bits and Pieces Collages Swap entries at Every Day is a Holiday. They’re just darling. I saw when she first announced the swap, but it was a busy time, so I didn’t sign up to participate. But I love looking at what the others did. I really want to do something like that some time.

Mrs. B. at Cherish the Home has a very sobering and convicting post of a woman’s testimony concerning mistakes she made in her marriage which left her Alone.

There are lots of special things happening in Blogville over the next several days.

Mary at Owlhaven is sponsoring a meme on Friday, July 20, called My Childhood Home. She says, “I’d like you all to consider writing about your childhood home. It doesn’t matter how big or small it was. All the memories don’t have to be picture-perfect. If you moved a lot, it’s fine to pick one favorite house. What I want to hear are details that were important to you as a child: your secret hideout under the stairs, the single-paned picture window you licked and froze your tongue to one winter morning, the backyard tree you climbed, the way your mother washed your hair in the kitchen sink every Saturday night, or any other strong indelible memory you have.” She’ll put up a Mr. Linky on Friday so that anyone who wants to participate can write a post on their blog and put the link on that post. More details are here.

Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer is hosting a Dog Days of Summer Bloggy Giveaway. There are so many blogs giving away various things, she thought it would be fun to have a carnival of sorts for various bloggers to host give-aways all at the same time and place. She writes, “You can hold a drawing at your blog for whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be big, or expensive, or even new. It can be something you made. Or something you found on sale. Or something you’ve used (a book, maybe?) and want to pass on to others. A purse? Jewelry? A gift card? The ideas are endless. If you’re feeling extra creative, choose an item that is significant to your own blog.” She’ll put up a Mr. Linky on her site Monday, July 23 and bloggers who want to give away something can link up any time that week until Friday. Then drawings for all the prizes will be drawn Friday, July 27. Guidelines are here. You have to be a blogger to give something, but you don’t have to have a blog to enter the contests on the sites you’re interested in.

GiBee at Kisses of Sunshine is hosting a cupcake contest: details are here.

Overwhelmed With Joy is starting a monthly book give away called “Pay It Forward,” in which she’ll give away a book a month and then ask the recipient to give it away when she’s done with it. There are a lot of other bloggers giving away books linked at her site, too. Details are here.

Whew! It seems like there were some others I was going to mention, but that’s probably enough for now. 🙂

Time Travel Tuesday: Wedding Edition

Posted on July 3, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I forgot about Time Travel Tuesday this week until I saw someone’s post on their blog! I guess thinking and planning around the holiday this week threw me off.

My Life as Annie hosts Time Travel Tuesday in which we look back at some time in our lives in relation to the topic of the week. This week the topic is our wedding.

My husband and I were still in college when we got married. I had one semester left — only 3 classes actually needed to graduate (it took me five years to complete a four year course 😳 ) and he had two. Actually his adviser advised us to marry — he told my husband his grades were dropping because he was dating too much and he needed to go ahead and get married. And we thought, well, ok then! 😀 (Interestingly, his grades did improve afterward!)

We got married in December. In all my wedding dreams, I had never wanted a Christmas wedding — but I had a choice between that December or the following August, so I took that December! I am one of those weird people who doesn’t like red, so we chose blue and silver for our colors.

I hadn’t been to that many weddings — there is so much I would do differently now. But the point is to join a man and wife, and we did accomplish that. 🙂

We got engaged in May just before saying good-bye from college in SC for the summer, then he went home to Idaho and I went home to Texas. I worked on wedding details through the summer, and we conferred on the phone a lot, then he came to Texas at the end of the summer to meet my family and finalize plans before we both left to go back to SC for school. We had never heard about wedding coordinators then (I am so glad someone invented them!), so we were planning everything ourselves. A lady in our church did a wonderful job with wedding cakes, so we asked her to do ours, and asked her for a recommendation for photographers. We each just had one attendant since most of our friends were from school and couldn’t come. My maid of honor’s mother made her dress in a blue floral fabric I loved — sort of like a jacquard, but not quite (I wish I had kept a swatch of the fabric!) The best man and ushers were in gray tuxes, and in looking back, I probably should have had the guys in blue and the maid of honor in a silvery fabric, because it ended up looking like the colors were blue and gray — which people had fun with since I’m from the south and he’s from the north (northwest, really, but that’s north enough for some people. 🙂 ) But we did have silver ribbons in the flowers and such.

I don’t remember whether we got a recommendation for the florist or just found someone in the phone book, but when Jim came, we made a trip to the florist I had picked out. We walked in that August day and told them we were planning a December wedding — and they promptly told us December was too busy and good luck finding a florist who would do a wedding in December! I was in tears, and as we drove home, Jim saw another florist shop. He parked the car and went in and asked if they would do a December wedding — and they said sure!

We had our first serious disagreement as a couple over wedding plans. 🙂 I had only been to weddings in my church, and they were all pretty much done a certain way. One element that was always included was that the bridal couple knelt on a little prayer bench during a part of the ceremony, and the pastor prayed for them. My husband-to-be had never been to our church, much less to a wedding there, and, not knowing that this was “always” done, said he didn’t want to kneel because his shoes weren’t in the best shape and he couldn’t afford to get new ones and he didn’t want to display the old soles of his old shoes to the congregation while he was kneeling. Of course, in my mind, we just couldn’t not kneel! It sounds so silly now — it would have been fine to stand or to angle the bench somehow so the soles of his shoes weren’t in people’s faces. Nice guy that he is, my husband conceded. I don’t remember if he got new shoes or just tried to spiff up his old ones.

So we had everything pretty much set before heading off for fall semester. I was actually student teaching that semester, and my supervisor was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep my mind on it while planning for a wedding, but I assured her everything was all planned, and everything was fine. I can’t imagine doing that now — but I was young then. 🙂

The semester finally ended and we headed back to Texas with a few days to spare before the wedding. We couldn’t afford a nice restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, so Jim and I made dinner and served it at the church fellowship hall. My pastor’s wife set some very nice tables for it. Everything was going fine until the night before the wedding — our best man was driving by himself from Idaho to Texas and wasn’t there in time for the rehearsal. Jim asked the father of my maid of honor (from the C family that I have mentioned a couple of times before) to stand in if the best man didn’t make it in time, and he agreed to. But thankfully the best man arrived in the wee hours of the morning bearing gifts from Idaho. Jim’s parents didn’t come. They didn’t have any problems with our getting married, but it was a combination of being too close to Christmas and too much out of their comfort zone, I think. They are very, very private people — very open with their family and circle of friends, but not at all prone to travel new places and meet new people. I will admit that was a sore spot for a long time. Even though I understood on one hand, on the other I thought — for one Christmas out of all the Christmases of your lives you couldn’t do something a little different? And you couldn’t extend yourself for your youngest son? But — what can you do? You can’t be bitter and hold it against them ever after, so we just accepted it and moved on.

Every wedding has its problems. I think it was the morning of the rehearsal that the pianist called and said there was one piece in the prelude that she couldn’t master and asked if she could leave it out. That was fine. Then the wedding day morning one of the soloists called and was very sick. I called the pastor, and he was familiar enough with the song that he could sing it. He was already singing a duet with another lady. Since we had so many unsaved loved ones, we had asked him to take a little extra time to just go over the picture in Scripture (Eph. 5:31-32) of a husband and wife representing Christ and the church and the invitation in Scripture to become a part of the bride of Christ. He did have that emphasis anyway, but we just wanted it maybe extended or explained a little more for those unfamiliar with it. He teased my husband when he and his best man were getting ready by saying, “I’m performing a wedding, preaching a message, singing a duet and a solo. What do you have to be nervous about?” 🙂

The only problem during the wedding itself was that just before I was to start down the aisle, the greenery around an archway came loose and in what seemed like slow motion began unwinding itself around the arch and fell. A dear lady near the front, the other half of the duet, stepped up and tucked it back in.

One problem we didn’t discover til afterward — in many of the pictures my eyes were closed!

Other than that, everything went fine!

Here’s the wedding party. I was trying to go for an old-fashioned southern look — my maid of honor and I both had hoop skirts on. But later on I felt my dress and veil looked more Spanish than southern! We had bought this dress but I probably should have gone with the pattern for the bridesmaid dress and had it made.

Here’s one of the many with my eyes closed. 🙄 Isn’t that ridiculous?! I guess you could day I was looking blissful. I wasn’t terribly happy with the photography in general, but not much can be done after the fact. I am so glad for digital cameras these days! You’ll notice I didn’t do my hair — my hair doesn’t “do.”

One of the songs we used was “O Perfect Love,” an older song not heard much these days, but I came across it in a hymn book and just loved the words. I think someone sang this on the kneeling-on-the-bench part of the ceremony. 🙂 The other song we used combined parts of “Nearer, Still Nearer” and “The Sands of Time.” I had heard that at another wedding and thought it was beautiful. Both songs have the same meter and work well with the tune of either. I am trying to remember which tune we used — and I am not sure (this was over 27 years ago!) I think the one to “Nearer, Still Nearer.” I can’t remember which of the verses we used — the first for sure, an I think the second of “Nearer” and these couple from “Sands”:

Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
Draw us, our Savior—so precious Thou art!
Fold us, oh, fold us close to Thy breast.
Shelter us safe in that “Haven of Rest”;
Shelter us safe in that “Haven of Rest.”

Nearer, still nearer, nothing we bring,
Naught as an offering to Jesus, our King;
Only our sinful, now contrite hearts.
Grant us the cleansing Thy blood doth impart.
Grant us the cleansing Thy blood doth impart.

O I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved’s mine!
He brings a poor vile sinner into His “house of wine.”
I stand upon His merit—I know no other stand,
Not even where glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.

The Bride eyes not her garment, but her dear Bridegroom’s face;
I will not gaze at glory but on my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth but on His pierced hand;
The Lamb is all the glory of Immanuel’s land.

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: Colorful

Posted on May 25, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Theme: Colorful | Become a Photo Hunter | View Blogroll

I was drawing a complete blank as to what to post for this week’s theme until my husband came to my rescue with this suggestion. I had sent him this card either when we were dating or in our early married years. We’ve sent each other scores of cards in two years of dating and 27 years of marriage, but there are some that are favorites, and this was a favorite of his. The funny thing is that he has been working in coloring matching first for automotive carpet fibers for a number of years and now for plastic colorants — we had no idea when I first sent this card that he would be working with color. He has this card on top of his filing cabinet now. I think in his old office he had it on his bulletin board.

Inside:

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt: Rare

Posted on April 27, 2007 by Barbara Harper

Theme: Rare | Become a Photo Hunter | View Blogroll

I really thought I was going to have to sit this one out, because I just could not think of anything rare that I owned or had a picture of. Then I thought of this picture of my husband and I on our 25th wedding anniversary a year and a half ago. It’s rare because we don’t have many pictures of the two of us together, but what makes it more rare is that — this moment never actually happened. 🙂

We had gone to stay at the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC for our anniversary and went to visit the Biltmore House. My husband had grabbed batteries for the camera as we were getting ready to go but discovered, as we were trying to set this picture up at the Biltmore House, that the batteries were in fact old, almost dead ones. We only had enough “juice” to take two pictures. In one I was looking away, in the other he was. So, when we got back, I asked my oldest son, proficient in all things related to the computer, if he could Photoshop the two images — and he did. Pretty cool, huh?

Marriage meme

Posted on March 26, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I saw this meme floating around on several blogs this morning, so I thought I’d borrow it. 🙂 I would save it for my anniversary, but that’s not until December.

Marriage meme

1. Where/How did you meet?
In the library, where we both worked, at college.

2. How long have you known each other?
29 years.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
About four months.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
A year and four months.

5. How long was your engagement?
Seven months.

6. How long have you been married?
27 years.

7. What is your anniversary?
12/21.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
Oh, my — I have no idea. Somewhere around 100-120 maybe?

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
White cake with white frosting decorated with blue flowers.

10. Where was your wedding?
My home church in Houston, TX.

11. What did you serve for your meal?
We didn’t have a meal — that wasn’t a tradition then, at least not in our area. Just cake, punch, nuts, and mints.

12. How many people were in your wedding party?
We each just had one attendant — most of our friends lived out of state and we got married over Christmas break.

13. Are you still friends with them all?
Yes, though we don’t keep in touch as much as I’d like.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
No, I don’t think so.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
There’s no one moment that stands out — it was all special. 🙂

16.Any funny moments?
Not really.

17. Any big disasters?
One of the soloists called in sick that morning, and then just before I was to begin walking down the aisle, a garland wrapped around an arch in the middle of the platform came undone and started slowly unwinding from around the arch. A dear lady sitting at the front went up and tucked it back in.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
We spent the first night in a nice hotel in Houston, but didn’t have an extended honeymoon — time and money were tight (we were both still students). Though it wasn’t planned this way, we spent our second night at my folks’ home in my old bedroom because something with our car needed to be worked on and we couldn’t leave that day. I’ll tell you, it felt mighty strange bringing a man into my bedroom! We spent the next day driving (with a U-Haul with my stuff) back to Greenville, SC, to set up housekeeping and get ready for second semester.

19. How long were you gone?
See above.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
My veil. I wanted to look kind of like a Southern bell, but later I thought the veil looked more Spanish.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Left.

22. What size is your bed?
Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
Commitment.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
My husband’s traveling.

25. Who literally pays the bills?
He does.

26. What is your song?
We don’t have one.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
We’ve never danced. 🙂

28. Describe your wedding dress:
How about if I just show you instead?

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
This is terrible, but I don’t really remember, and I can’t tell from the picture what was in my bouquet. I think there were white roses and blue-tinted carnations. I had wanted more blue, but there weren’t many blue flowers, especially in December.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
No.

31. How old were you when you got married?
I was 22 and my husband was 21.

Feel free to grab this meme and play along — let me know if you do.

One of the best articles on relationships

Posted on March 13, 2007 by Barbara Harper

…that I have ever read is here. Though it is primarily about marriage, many of the principles are true for any relationships between fallen human beings.

Meme about Mr. Right

Posted on February 17, 2007 by Barbara Harper

I saw this at Shalee’s and Barb’s today. What fun!

His age: 48, 6 months younger than me.

How tall is he: 6′ to my 5’7″ — a nice match. 🙂

How long have you been together (married): 27 years

How long did you know each other before you got together?: We had known each other about 5 1/2 months before he asked me out. It was another few months before we purposefully decided to make it exclusive (“go steady,” “go together,” whatever you want to call it), though it pretty much was even before.

What physical features attracted you to him first?: His brown eyes and hair — eyes about the color of brown M&Ms.

Eye color: Brown.

Hair color: Brown then, a lot of grey now. 🙂

Hair style: Short, neat, conservative.

Normal Outfit: He usually wears a shirt and tie and slacks to work. In the evenings he takes the tie off but doesn’t usually change. Saturdays or off days he usually wears cargo pants and a polo or golf type shirt. He doesn’t like t-shirts but has a couple of collarless shirts of a heavier knit that he likes.

How did you meet: We both worked at the library at college and met there. The whole story is here.

How serious is it: Very!!

Are you “in love”: Yes!

Do your parents like him: Yes, they did, very much.

Do his parents like you: I know his mom does. I think his dad did.

Do you trust him: Yes.

Would you share a toothbrush with him?: No! Even though we’ve shared all the same germs — that would just be gross for me.

Would he let you wear his pants?: I don’t think so…

Do you have a shirt of his that you sleep in?: No — I don’t think I’d fit. 😦

Do you like the way he smells?: I don’t think he does…..neither of us are into colognes.

Can you picture having kids with him?: Yes, I did — we have 3.

What bothers you the most about him?: I’m going to respectfully decline this one. 🙂 In the spirit of doing unto others as you’d like to have them do unto you — I wouldn’t like it if he posted my faults online.

Does he have a temper?: Yes, but it is not activated easily.

Are you happy to be with him?: Yes. 🙂

Does he embarrass you in public?: Not on purpose. I get embarrassed when he haggles prices with people. It’s amazing, though, how often he gets a lower price or a fee removed just by asking. He would probably love open markets in those countries where they expect to haggle.

Does he smoke or do drugs?: Nothing worse than ibuprofen and Tums.

Does he have any piercings?: No.

Any tattoos?: Nope.

Does he have any scars that you know of?: A few scattered here and there. He is the youngest of 4, and once when he was little, the kids were watching a magic show on TV. They decided the trick of poking knives into a box with someone in it looked like fun, so they tried it with Jim in the box. :O

Is he a Party dude or Stay at home?: We’re both pretty much stay-at-home types.

Is he Outgoing or Shy?: He’s a lot more outgoing than I am, but not life-of-the-party outgoing.

Does he love his mama?: Yes. 🙂

Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends?: He enjoys my friends, but if I am meeting one for lunch or something, he’ll decine to come along.

Sing?: He sings at church congregationally but not much otherwise. When he does, he makes up words in place of the ones he forgets. 🙂

Anyone reading is welcome to do this, too. Let me know if you do: I’d love to come read it. 🙂

Recipe for a happy marriage

Posted on February 13, 2007 by Barbara Harper

RECIPE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

1 cup of consideration
2 cupfuls praise
1 reasonable budget
2 cupfuls of flattery carefully concealed
2 cupfuls milk of human kindness
1 gallon faith in God and each other
A generous dash of cooperation
3 teaspoons of pure extract of “I am sorry”
Children (more or less, to taste)
1 cup of confidence and encouragement
1 large or several small hobbies
1 cup of blindness to each others faults
1 cup of courtesy
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 cup of contentment

Flavor with frequent portions of recreation and a dash of happy memories. Stir well and remove any specks of jealousy, temper, or criticism. Sweeten well with generous portions of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion. Never serve with a cold shoulder or a hot tongue.

— Author Unknown