Mocha With Linda hosts a weekly meme called Flashback Friday. She’ll post a question every Thursday, and then Friday we can link our answers up on her site.
The prompt for today is:
Tell about any grandparents, cousins, or other extended family that was special to you growing up. Did they live near you or some distance away? Do you have any particular childhood memories (good OR bad!) of times spent with your grandparents? With your cousins? Did you spend holidays with them? At whose house did you generally gather? Do you still keep up with cousins, aunts & uncles, etc.? Did your paternal relatives and maternal relatives know and get along with each other?
My mother’s mother passed away when I was about 4. I have a dim memory of talking with her once about her colostomy bag — she had cancer that spread throughout her lower region. My mom said that when I asked about it, she (my mom) was embarrassed and tried to divert me, but my grandmother just answered me very matter-of-factly (which is usually what most kids want.) I was very pleased to receive some of my grandmother’s things, like a autograph book she had during school days, after my mom passed away.
My mom’s father was tall, skinny, and had a distinctive laugh — his laugh is probably what I remember most about him. He loved to joke and tease. We lived in the same town, and even actually lived with him for a while during my childhood — my brother was born unexpectedly in his house (my mom had been told by her doctor that day that she would not deliver yet — but she did, and so fast they couldn’t get out the door.) We eventually moved to another town, and in later years when he remarried, whenever he and his wife drove up to our house to visit, he always brought a box of Dunkin’ Donuts. No matter when I got up in the morning while he was there, my grandfather and mom were already up in the kitchen, drinking coffee and talking. His second wife developed arteriosclerosis and deteriorated mentally, but he cared for her himself. One time when he was persuaded to leave her in something like an adult day care for a short while, when he came to pick her up, they had her strapped down. I don’t remember if she was trying to find him or what, but he never left her again. Though he was not what you would describe as warm or affectionate, I thought this was one of the greatest examples of sacrificial love I have ever known of. This wife passed away as well, and several years later he ended up living with my aunt, who was single, but she was at work all day and he wouldn’t take his medicines or eat right and finally had a series of small strokes. He recuperated in a hospital until Medicare would not pay any more and then had to transfer to a nursing home. Everyone was depressed about that for a while, but when he recovered well enough to leave, he decided to stay: He had made friends, had his meals and medicines taken care of, and found more to do than sit in front of the TV all day. He volunteered for a program to answer the phone as Santa to kids who called in to a special number. I can imagine he would have been great at that. I wonder how many kids associate his distinctive laugh with Santa. The last time I saw him was at a family reunion over twenty years ago — he passed away a year or two later, in his 80s.
My father’s father passed away before I was born. My father’s mother was the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago in summer memories: the “galloping Grandma” who would drive to see all her kids in TX, LA (Louisiana), and AL during the summer and took me with her a few times. She never remarried. She went back and forth between living in TX and LA. When she lived near us, I often went to spend the night with her, and one of my fondest memories is both of us staying up late reading. Sometimes I would go with her to visit her sister, Jewel, in another town. Jewel had one arm that was paralyzed but had a garden, and she and my grandmother loved cooking fresh vegetables. My Grandmother loved to crochet and whenever she was sitting still for long, she had her yarn and crochet hooks going. She could be a little sharp and critical sometimes, but overall I have fond memories of her.
I am fortunate to have cousins my age on both sides. Until I was 13, we lived in the same town as my mom’s sister and her family, with one girl cousin a year younger. The father’s side of this cousin’s family was somewhat well-to-do, and this cousin got things like a Barbie Dream House, Susie Homemaker oven (with which you could make REAL cakes!), and her own TV — all things that were beyond my realm, so, yes, I was a little jealous. One time when I went to church with their family, I didn’t have any money to put in, so I wrote something on a piece of paper — I don’t remember if it was an “IOU” or what — but my cousin’s other grandmother took it out. 😦 But overall my cousin and I got along well. Her mom was the aunt for whom I am named.
I only saw my Louisiana cousins occasionally, maybe once or twice a year, but there were three girls in that family, one my age, one a year older, and one a year younger — and all of our birthdays were in August. I think I’ve told before of one birthday we celebrated all together. At their place we road bikes all over creation, and their mom had a distinctive way of whistling so that we could hear her from a pretty good distance away and know it was time to come home.
I hear about my TX cousin from her mom occasionally, but the LA side of the family just doesn’t keep in touch any more since the dad, my father’s brother,and my own father passed away. I would guess my aunt probably remarried, but it would be nice to hear how they are all doing and where they are these days. Though there were several other cousins that I saw less often, those four were the ones I knew best and interacted with the most, and some of my best childhood memories were with my cousins, who were some of my closest friends.
Stray Thoughts 