Category Archives: Stray thoughts

An April Day

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Spring

The sun was warm but the wind was chill.
You know how it is with an April day
When the sun is out and the wind is still,
You’re one month on in the middle of May.
But if you so much as dare to speak,
A cloud comes over the sunlit arch,
A wind comes off a frozen peak,
And you’re two months back in the middle of March.

—Robert Frost

The past few April days have felt more like the middle of March…or even February!

The yard sale went well, though not quite as well as I’d hoped. I made about $100, Jesse made $20-something. I had come all set up for sitting in the sun, wearing a lightweight dress and having brought sunscreen — but we were freezing! We boxed up what we didn’t sell and are thinking about having another yard sale later on after we have a chance to sort through the attic. Or we might just give it all to Salvation Army — by the time you itemize it and get a receipt so you can claim it on your taxes, I think you probably come out about the same.

I thought families with boys would snap up some of the toys Jesse was selling, but I kept hearing parents say things like, “You have enough toys!” I understand that feeling, too! It’s funny what we get sentimental about — Jesse had about four “army sets” as we called them. One of them looked like a big tank from the outside but folded out into a flat playset for army men and Hot Wheels type tanks, etc., with little hills, turrets, roads, etc. He spent so many hours playing with those spread out all over the living room floor. I thought about saving them for grandkids some day — they are just neat play sets that I don’t think anyone makes any more, plus one day they might think it is neat to play with something that was their dad’s. But I was torn, so I didn’t say anything. Only one sold at first, so I thought we might get to keep the rest. But the last three sold in the last 15 minutes. 😦  Oh, well — I try to remind myself they are just things and hang on to the memories. One friend said it signified “the end of an era,” and I guess that’s part of it — knowing that my youngest is growing out of favorite toys.

I wrestle some times with saving for posterity vs. keeping sentimental things.  We really don’t have much in the way of mementos from either side of our family, and I’d like to keep some special things for posterity. But I try not to keep anything that I don’t really think anyone will be interested in or that might break down over time — I figure it would be better for someone to go ahead and enjoy that now, so I give it away. And I remember my kids weren’t much interested in boxes of faded old toys at grandparents’ houses, so I only keep things in great condition that might be timeless in its appeal.

The fellowship also went well. There were a few less than usual, but it was “cozy.” I think our new youth pastor is doing a great job with the kids. His new wife was away for the weekend, and I had been looking forward to having her over, so I was a little disappointed there, but my friend Carol came over for a little while — she teaches first grade and usually just hangs out in her classroom while her kids are at fellowships since she lives too far to make it worth going home and coming back in that time period, so I told her she was welcome to come if she wanted to. So it was good to “visit” a little. 🙂 Before she became a teacher here we used to volunteer once a week at the school, and I really enjoyed working with her and getting to know her — I’ve missed our visits!

I told myself with all the busy-ness of the last week that I was giving myself today “off,” so I am sitting back enjoying my nice clean house and catching up on e-mail and blog-reading. While I was in the shower I was looking at the freshly-painted ceiling and thinking, “We ought to have people over more often!” Not for a while, though — we both need to recuperate! I wish Jim could have taken off today — I don’t know when he’s going to have time to do taxes.

I usually keep up pretty well with the regular weekly housework — meals, dishes, laundry, bathrooms, floors, etc. — and an almost-weekly “extra” job thanks to tackle-it-Tuesday. But somehow I need to incorporate some of the “extra” jobs into a regular routine so we’re not having to catch up on everything before company comes. Yet I don’t like a real rigid system, like every first week of the month this and this are done, etc.

After I got out of the shower this morning, I started having pretty bad muscles spasms in my back. I don’t know if I wrenched something this morning or if this is the result of working the last few days. After an Absorbine Jr. patch, ibuprofen, and a heating pad I am able to move a little better (did you know that when you blow your nose you use muscles in your back? I never knew that until blowing my nose sent a spasm across my already-spasming back!) I guess it is a good thing I hadn’t planned anything for today!

Stray thoughts

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  • Did you know there is a National Association for Information Destruction? Jesse and I were sitting in the car at a red light on the way to school this morning when a truck with that association’s logo pulled up beside us. The truck was from a company that sheds secure documents. I don’t know why, but the name of that association struck me funny — identity theft and the need to destroy certain documents are serious, of course — but having an association for destroying information sounded like an arm of the KGB or a militant anti-intellectual organization or something. 😀
  • I have to “brag on” my husband today. I mentioned earlier this week that we have a school-sponsored yard sale coming up this Saturday and we’re having the junior high part of the youth group from church coming over for a fellowship Sunday night. He took Thursday off to help me with some of those tasks that are hard for me to do. For instance, since TM, I can’t be on my knees for more than a few seconds. I can physically get on my knees, but then an odd sensation sort of like hitting your funny bone shoots through my knees. It’s hard to describe it — it’s not painful — but it’s disturbing, and every instinct is screaming, “Make it stop!!” So, I can sweep and mop, but sometimes the floors just need a hands-and-knees scrubbing. Jim did the kitchen floors, then cleaned the floor and everything in the half-bathroom except the toilet, getting one area around the faucet of the sink cleaner than I have been able to even with straight bleach. Then he went to the other bathroom — that one, for some reason, particularly attracts mold even though we have an outlet fan that we use during showers to reduce the humidity in there. The shower comes clean easily with Tilex, but there were areas around the tops of the door frames that weren’t coming clean for me. Jim tried to clean it, but decided it needed to be repainted. Some of the paint had been blistering and all of the woodwork just needed freshening up. So he ended up painting the doors, frames, baseboards, and cabinet — not something on the to-do list, but it has been needing attention and look so nice!! There’s nothing like a fresh coat of paint.
  • At one point when he was on his hands and knees scrubbing, he asked me if I was going to take his picture and post it for a Works-For-Me Wednesday. 😀
  • Overall, conquering the to-do list is going well. It really did help to make a master list and look for things that could be done ahead of time. Maybe after about 30 years of being an adult I am finally learning how to do this kind of thing. 🙂 I just know that these days I can’t stay up til two in the morning in a cleaning frenzy the night before an event.
  • This has reminded me of a funny story from our early married days. We were having the youth group over after church — this was probably our first time ever doing so — and, of course, the usual furious cleaning had occurred the day before. During the fellowship while they were singing, I noticed I had accidentally left my can of Pledge and dustcloth on top of the bookshelf, which wasn’t that bad in itself, but my dustrag had been an old pair of my husband’s underwear with the Fruit-of-the-Loom stripe very visible. I was mortified. But to go to it and remove it at that point would have drawn attention to it, so I left it and hoped no one would notice. No one said anything. 🙂 It’s funny but now it grosses me out to even think about using old underwear to dust or clean — that stuff gets tossed when it outlives it usefulness nowadays.
  • I’ve also learned through the years that I usually don’t get everything on my list done, so I’ve learned to prioritize. It doesn’t look like I am going to get my curtains up, unfortunately. The fabric I ordered just arrived two days ago. I usually wash fabrics before cutting or sewing them, but the recommended care for this is dry cleaning — will they dry clean fabric on a roll? I don’t know.
  • I don’t think I’ll be doing the Friday Feast today. It wouldn’t take long to do, but these interactive memes are supposed to be….well…interactive. I really can’t take the time today to go visit around the other participants, so I’d probably better sit this one out. It’s funny how you sort of get to know different people who participate in the different weekly memes — I’ll miss my regular stops and the wave hello. Maybe if my day goes well and I get a lot done, I’ll be able to do it later on.
  • I’m off to peruse my Bloglines list, then it’s back to work. Have a good day!

Prayer request

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I just read this afternoon that Heather, mother of the Emma Grace whose “Pray for Emma Grace” buttons you may have seen around, has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. I know the whole family would appreciate your prayers.

A question for those with eye problems

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A few years ago at an annual eye exam I was told I was just on the verge of needing reading glasses. Before my next yearly check-up, I experienced two days of sudden double vision. I was told after having transverse myelitis that there was a 20% chance of it turning into multiple sclerosis, so I was really concerned about this vision problem having to do with the optic nerve. Dashed off to the eye dr., and he said the optic nerve was fine, I just needed trifocals. Trifocals? When less than a year before I was only on the verge of needing reading glasses?  I kept trying to stress that this wasn’t something that crept up but rather happened suddenly. He was convinced it probably was happening all along but I had just noticed it. 🙄

I didn’t have a lot of confidence in that diagnosis, so I didn’t get the glasses. I’m not opposed to getting glasses, I just didn’t think this diagnosis was accurate. The blurry double vision lasted for a couple of days, went away for a couple of weeks, then returned. I had seen my personal family dr. in the meantime for something else but mentioned this. My eye dr. happened to be someone he knew and had confidence in, so he trusted his diagnosis, but sent me to an ophthalmologist. That dr. told me I had an astigmatism. I wasn’t sure that was right, either. I didn’t want to get prescription glasses for a problem that only occurred occasionally, and I wondered why no one considered there might be other non-glasses related problems that might be occurring.

I saw the ophthalmologist again less than a year ago for a regular check-up. My eyes weren’t blurry then, and I had 20/20 vision.

But the double vision and blurriness come and go. My eyesight in general had gotten worse — I use little Wal-Mart reading glasses generally to read but can’t wear them all the time because everything else is blurry when I have them on.

The double vision is occurring again today. It’s good I wasn’t planning to do much blogging today!!

So I guess my question is — does this happen to anyone else? I know that after passing the mid-40s eyesight begins to wane anyway. And it does seem to occur more when I am tired or haven’t had enough sleep, but I haven’t really kept track enough to say that always affects it.

One of life’s little pleasures….

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…..is a crossed-off to-do list:

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 “The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul…” (Proverbs 13:19a). I had originally desired to accomplish those things by last Saturday, and got all but one of them crossed off. But I just couldn’t get the remaining one taken care of til this morning.

It’s funny how things that have been needing attention for weeks months get taken care of with ease once they are on a list. I had been needing to sew a couple of buttons on clothes here and there and remove a patch from Jesse’s old Awana shirt before giving it away for ages. It only took me a few minutes to take care of that — I just kept forgetting about it.

Of course, I need to make another whole list for this week. But it’s nice to savour that moment of getting things done. 

I don’t know why it always seems to happen this way, but so often when we schedule one event when the calendar looks clear, as the time approaches then the calendar seems to fill up. We signed up to host a teen fellowship after church April 15. We had never had one since living in this house because, though the house itself is not small overall, the individual rooms where you’d have company are. We had a family of five over once and ended up with people sitting on the floor. So having a big group over just wasn’t something we felt we could handle. But this year they are splitting up some of the teen fellowships into smaller groups — jr. high and sr. high or guys or girls or one team or the other. So we’re having the junior high over that night.

Then the seniors at our school sponsor a “Spring Fling” on a Friday and a yard sale on a Saturday as a fund-raiser for their senior trip. I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to participate in this year’s yard sale — and found out a couple of weeks ago that it is Saturday the 14th, the Saturday before the fellowship. Aaauugh!!

One problem with going through things in the attic and shed that we know we want to get rid of is that the prime times for doing that, when there is not much else going on, are summer and winter after Christmas. But that’s when those areas are the hottest and coldest. Spring and fall, when it would be easier to get into those places, are busy times on our calendar.

I think what I have resolved to do is spend this week sorting through things for the yard sale as much as I can, reminding myself it’s not likely I’ll get through the whole attic and shed — will just have to have another yard sale later on, maybe, or take the remainder to Salvation Army when we can. Then next week I’ll be getting ready (read: more than basic cleaning — you know how it is when company is coming) for the fellowship. Because I know if I clean the burner pans on the stove today, I’ll have a major boil-over between now and the fellowship and will have to do it again. 🙂

Jesse is on Easter break this week and was going to sort through some things in his room as well as have a friend over one night. Sunday evening he said he had a sore throat and a few sniffles, but we thought it was just allergies. He even had a friend over yesterday with plans to spend the night, but felt progressively worse during the day, then started running a fever, so I guess he has a full-blown cold or flu. We sent his friend home to hopefully come back later in the week. Then last night Jesse asked for the “throw-up pan” because he felt sick — and lost his lunch. I don’t know if there is a stomach bug, too, or is just the gunk in his throat is setting off his gag reflex. Jeremy used to have problems with that when he was younger, too. We were doing cold medicine and acetaminophen on an as-needed basis yesterday, but today I am giving it to him every four hours, so hopefully he’ll feel better than he did yesterday. He hasn’t eaten much — a little applesauce, Jello, and Sprite — and he’s the only one of us who doesn’t have any extra to lose.

The “throw-up pan” is a bigger pan that I don’t use much — somehow when the older guys were little we’d let them keep it near by when they were sick in case they couldn’t make it to the restroom. Once we got alliterative with it and called it the vomit vessel, the barf bucket, the upchuck urn….

Then they’d get really grossed out when I’d use that pan for things like corn on the cob. I’d assure them it had been well-cleaned and sterilized since they last used it.

One thing I am dearly hoping to be able to get done before the fellowship is to get the curtains up in the family room that I mentioned here and here.  I did finally order fabric this morning — that was the last thing on my to-do list from last week. In case anyone is waiting on pins and needles to know this ( 😀 ), I decided on this fabric –the blue check with the toile as an contrast lining for the valance — and this pattern (bottom right-hand corner). All the other fabric I looked at around town was more expensive (even at outlets) and I just didn’t like it as well. The pattern is fairly simple, so I am hoping I can whip them up. By the way, Fabric.Com is a great site — easy to use, and no charge for shipping on the first order.

I guess I have rambled on enough and should get busy. 🙂 I’ll post a couple more Easter quotes in a separate post. Oh, and I want to remind you that a month from yesterday, on May 2, I’ll be having a Q&A session with Lynn Walker, author of Queen of the Castle. She’s doing a “30 Blogs in 30 Days” author tour, and I am delighted to be one of her stopping-places. I am jotting down questions as I think of them, but if you have any questions you’d like for me to ask, let me know!

Have a great day.

A Dyson Give-Away

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5 Minute For Mom is hosting a contest to give away a Dyson Slim vacuum! Details are here. I had never hear of Dyson before, but this vacuum sounds wonderful. I can’t believe they are giving one away!

Church

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I received this in an e-mail a while back:

A church-goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. “I’ve gone for 30 years now,” he wrote, “and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them! So, I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.” Signed: Missing the message.

This started a real controversy in the “Letters to the Editor” column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

“I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals for me. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today. When you are DOWN to nothing….. God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!”

I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD. Psalm 122:1.

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25.

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Dogwood Chapel by Thomas Kinkade
Courtesy of Allposters.com

Pray for Addison

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Little baby Addison, daughter of Sarah, granddaughter, of Bev, grandniece of Barb, has been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance today. More details are here. I’m sure everyone involved would appreciate your prayers.

Winter reading list wrap-up

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I wanted to wrap-up my winter reading list before the Spring Reading Challenge begins tomorrow.

Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. I did finish this and have been working on a review that I was trying to get out today, but just wasn’t able to complete it, so I hope to have that done in the next day or two.

White Chocolate Moments by Lori Wick. Reviewed here. Lori’s always an enjoyable read.

Ever After by Karen Kingsbury. Reviewed here. Not my favorite of hers, but a good story overall.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Reviewed here. Enjoyed it very much and will likely read it again some time.

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. This one I haven’t finished yet, so I’ll roll it over to the Spring Reading Challenge. Honestly, so far I am not enjoying it as much as I did Pride and Prejudice, though the film version is one of my favorite Austen adaptations. Hopefully it will get better.

The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 2) by Lemony Snicket. Just finished it today, so I haven’t reviewed it yet. I enjoyed the very clever writing. I was disappointed, though, at the presence of a four-letter word in a book for children, even though it was said by “the bad guy,” it was said again with a seeming wink by the narrator. It just doesn’t need to be there. I was also disturbed by the sentiment that it is “necessary” to lie sometimes, though the situation in which that is said could provide a discussion point with kids about whether that situation was really lying.

These were books I mentioned that I will be reading through the year, as they are laid out in weekly or daily sections:

Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker by Lynn Bowen Walker. I am enjoying this a lot so far — I had seen it recommended on a couple of blogs during the fall challenge last year. Just to give you some advance notice, I’ll be having a Q&A session with the author, Lynn Bowen Walker, here May 2.

Daily Light on the Daily Path compiled by the Samuel Bagster family. I have read this many years over — always a blessing.

Wonderful Words by Stewart Custer. “OK” so far.

And, of course, the Bible, best book ever.

I am looking forward to changing that winter graphic to a spring one tomorrow!

The community of believers

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Catez at Allthings2all asked recently about examples of loving Christian community.

I have known many people who have said, “I don’t know how people make it without a church family” after being abundantly ministered to. Let me hasten to say that I know all churches are not perfect. In fact, I know no church is perfect. How could any be when they are all made up of sinful human beings? I want to say more about that later, but first I want to focus on the positive.

Let me just share ways that I have seen people being ministered to by their local churches over the 32 years I have been a Christian. In many of these examples, I was on the receiving end, but others I have just seen or heard of. When I was a teen-ager, someone picked me up for church until I got my driver’s license. Someone paid my way to a Christian school for two years. People “took me in” and made me feel part of the family of God. One family in particular exercised hospitality, invited me often into their home, and just by their love and example greatly influenced me and demonstrated what Christian family was all about. Some invited me to come along and paid my expenses when they took a group to visit a Christian college. One family continued to pick up my sisters for church after I went away to college. Some anonymously contributed to my college education and showed love and interest in me whenever I came back home. The ladies gave me a bridal shower before I married. My pastor married us without charging us anything for his services or the use of the church (he also sang a solo and a duet with another lady at my wedding. 🙂 ) His wife assisted me and helped me with the rehearsal dinner. His daughter had helped me get ready for college, making a list for me of what to take, answering questions, showing me how to register when we got there, introducing me to her friends, etc. Though my family members were never members of the church, and though I moved away from that area when I got married at 22, in the 27 years since, I have been able to call on that pastor in any crisis my family has gone through, and he has visited, prayed for, and witnessed to them. Even after he retired, I called on him when my mother passed away, and he graciously and gladly preached her funeral.

In the years since then my husband and I have been a part of three different churches, changing churches only when a job change necessitated a move to another city. We’ve had pastors, pastors’ wives, and older believers who we felt we could call on at any time to ask questions or counsel of. We’ve had people who prayed, visited, brought meals, watched children, cleaned homes, and other things when people have been sick or just had a baby. Two instances of that especially touched my heart. When I came home from the hospital after encountering TM, along with all of these other ministrations, one lady came over with a puzzle and just spent time with my children putting it together. They had been run through the mill being carted to different people’s houses and back and forth to the hospital, and this dear friend, in her sweet quiet way, came over and just spent some unhurried quiet time with them at our home. Then, I was unable to walk without aid for a long time, and I couldn’t get up and down the stairs without help, so I was confined to one floor (we lived in a split-level) unless my husband was home to help me. He got the equipment to put hand rails along the stairways and called a friend at church who was a …well, I don’t remember if he was a contractor or had a home improvement business or what exactly. But he worked on homes, anyway, and my husband called to ask if he had a stud-finder that he could borrow. This man wasn’t home when my husband called, but his wife took the message. That evening as were eating dinner, this man brought his crew to our home and put up handrails along both stairways and also in the bathroom. Something that practical was such a blessing. Jim could have done it, but it would have taken longer and been a lot more trouble: this man and his crew were able to do it all in no time.

Recently at our current church, an older man passed away. His disabled daughter was in a nursing home, unable to attend the funeral. One lady from church went to stay with her during the funeral; several people called her from their cell phones during different parts of the funeral to see how she was doing; someone called from their cell phone during the message at the funeral and let her listen to it over the phone, and somehow it came through clearly enough that she could hear the whole thing.

Other types of ministries I’ve seen are sending care packages to college students and servicemen from our church; an older lady who went to visit all the new moms from church in the hospital when they had their babies; collecting and sending gifts to missionaries; the teens doing yard work at an elderly neighbor’s home; a group painting a widow’s house; bridal showers and baby showers.

Another personal example just came to mind: a couple of years ago I ended up needing to go to the ER in the middle of the night when my husband was out of town. I called on a friends from church who lived nearby: the wife was a nurse, and I asked her some questions to ascertain what to do, but it was something I had dealt with before, and we agreed I needed to go to the hospital but didn’t need to call an ambulance. I asked if she could take me, and she readily said yes. My younger children were asleep; my oldest was of age that he could stay with them. This lady’s husband, if I remember correctly, offered to come and stay with the boys, but I felt that wasn’t necessary. I did ask him, however, if he could be “on call” for them to call him if they needed anything, and he agreed. This lady took me to the ER, and then came back to stay with me. We ended up getting home in the wee hours of the morning, and she had to work the next day. But from this and many other instances where I have seen them graciously and willingly help others, I feel that I could call on them in any time of need. When my mother passed away and we had to make a quick trip to TX, my oldest son was facing college finals and just didn’t feel that he should come with us. This couple again agreed to be “on call” for him while we were gone and had him over for dinner one of the evenings we were away. Another friend, upon hearing that my my had died, brought us over a couple of batches of muffins to help with breakfast the next couple of mornings as we packed and then left, and she brought a meal over the night we got home.

I could go on and on with these many practical areas of ministry. Some of them have been through an organized church committee (most meal situations come through that vein — many churches have found it helpful to make up some kind of committee of folks willing to do this that they can call on during times of need so that these efforts can be more organized and the recipient doesn’t end up with 3 meals on one night or something); other instances have been the result of an individual or a couple’s thoughtfulness, sensitivity to God’s leading, and willingness to pitch in and have their gifts, talents, and time be used of the Lord.

But besides the practical, there is a wealth of spiritual benefits. I don’t know how many times the church family has prayed someone through a crisis. I can’t tell you what it means to know that I can share a prayer request with the church or with individuals there at any time, people who will not only pray that one time, but will continue to pray and show an interest. This was a testimony to my mom when she was experiencing a health crisis — problems from diabetes that looked like it was going to lead to some kind of amputation of her foot. I sent out an emergency e-mail to just about every Christian I knew, both friends from church here, previous churches, college days, online friends, etc. Many of them wrote back that they were praying; some even wrote out a prayer for her. I printed all of those out and sent them to her. It meant so much to her that people who didn’t even know her were praying for her. She credited God’s answering their prayers with the fact that she only lost three toes and not her whole lower leg. This was one of the factors in her heart softening towards the Lord.

There are people who have taken an interest in us and in our children, who have invested time to teach, preach, watch the nursery, head up children’s ministries, ladies ministries, men’s prayer breakfasts. Although I have benefited greatly from hearing sermons on the radio or a CD at times, especially when I’ve been home sick or home with sick children, there is something special about the whole church being taught and instructed along the same lines each week that you just don’t get at home alone with the radio.

Then there is the blessing of seeing examples of living the Christian life, of marriage, of parenthood in others at church. As a single college student, then a young wife, then a young mother, then having preschoolers, elementary-aged children, then teens and college students — all along the way I have been able to observe godly people in my own stage of life as well as the next stages. I’ve had people I could ask questions of whose lives and “track record” I had witnessed with my own eyes.

Again — I could go on and on. God set up the Christian community called the church for all of these reasons and more. It’s a place where people can practice the Bible “one anothers”. It’s a place where older men and women are instructed to teach the younger. The church has been compared to a building, a body, a family. It’s a community that God gave gifts to and that God wants us to exercise our spiritual gifts in. Sure, many of these things take place in the larger community of believers as a whole, but these epistles were originally written to individual local churches.

It’s also, as I said at the beginning, a place of fallen human beings. So there will be failures. There will be people who slip through the cracks and get missed by some of these ministrations. There will be people who fail to do their part. There will be people who not only fail their brothers and sisters in Christ but who actually hurt them. What then? Is that a reason to forsake the church? Is that a reason to be bitter?

You know, I don’t ever see a justification in Scripture for bitterness. People will fail us; God never will. If other people don’t see our need, He does. We can appeal to Him to either meet the need or send someone who will. And what then about those fallen humans? Well, we remember that we are fallen and that we fail, too. We do unto others as we would have others do unto us when we fail — we exercise compassion and grace. We forgive as we have been forgiven, knowing that we have been forgiven so much more than what anyone else has done to us. Sometimes we confront the Christian brethren who have wronged us. Sometimes God wants us to take it, to suffer wrongdoing as graciously as Christ did, with the love that covers “a multitude of sins“.

So what do you do if your church is not an actively loving community that ministers to its members?

Well, first of all, pray. God may want you to go somewhere else, or He may want to turn your church around.

Then be patient. Likely it will take time: everything won’t change overnight.

Then, as God directs, speak up. The first deacons were ordained when one part of the church felt like ministry to them was neglected and they told someone.

And then, be willing to be the first to step out, the first to minister to others. Maybe it will catch on. If you have seen a need that God has burdened your heart about, maybe He is directing you to do something about it. Don’t panic, He will give the direction and grace and everything else as it is needed. Many ministries have been started because one person saw a need. Don’t be the one to sit back and say, “Somebody should…..” without being willing to be that somebody.

“Christ …loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (Eph. 5:25) to redeem it from sins and to manifest Himself through it to its members and to the world at large.