Back Burner Dreams

Posted on October 26, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Do you have anything on the back burner, the place where we let hopes and dreams simmer until the time is right for them?

My “back burner” dream was writing. I loved being a mother and homemaker. I enjoyed being actively involved in church ministries. Just when my “nest” was emptying, we cared for my mother-in-law for several years. It seemed writing usually had to take a back seat to other needs.

Even though a woman has looked forward to being a mother all her life and delights in her child, some days she feels she is accomplishing nothing beyond wiping noses, changing diapers, and reading Dr. Seuss all day. She longs to do something “important.” Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day. But those everyday ministrations are just as important as any grand endeavor.

College students full of zeal to go out and change the world sometimes chafe at their time of training, wondering if it’s really needed.

Olympic athletes put aside many pursuits in order to train and compete while they can.

Business men and women lay aside some interests in order to gain seniority and experience to get the next promotion.

Newlyweds may have to postpone getting their dream house until they get more financially stable.

Caring for elderly parents may require that some of our dreams remain on the back burner a little longer.

However, what kinds of foods stay on the back burner for a long time? Soups or stews that become all the richer for their long simmer. Meats tenderize, vegetables soften, flavors blend, broth thickens. The smells waft through the house, igniting our appetites.

We can give that pot a stir every now and then. In my case, I had the opportunity to write a few newspaper and magazine articles as well as a ladies’ newsletter at church. Having to wait to redo certain rooms gave me time to research and dream about what I wanted. Reading books, taking classes, jotting down ideas, and talking with others about our dreams can help prepare us for the time when we can pursue them.

We don’t need to get discouraged if others seem to have all their burners going at once, accomplishing things right and left. I used to lament that I couldn’t do as much as some women until I finally came to grips with the fact that God made us with different capacities, abilities, and personalities.

The back burner is not the place to foster excuses or procrastination. Not “getting around to” some tasks is a different thing from placing them on the back burner. We need to seek the Lord’s wisdom as to whether we’re postponing due to fear, laziness, or distractions, or whether certain pursuits are not His timing yet.

There may be some things God wants us to relinquish completely, and here our back burner analogy breaks down. There are some things He never intended for us to pursue, and we have to set aside what was a personal desire that was not His will. We have to remind ourselves that, no matter how strong and even good a desire was, if it is not God’s will, it would not have been good for us. That desire may actually have been harmful and taken away from what He did have for us to do.

Missionary Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” We don’t just stand and watch those pots on the back burner: we get other things done while we wait. Maybe we can’t write a bestselling book, but we can send a note of encouragement to someone. Maybe a family can’t get to the mission field until their training is done, but they can minister to their neighbors and coworkers. Maybe a couple can’t take a European tour, but they can plan a weekend getaway to a nearby destination.

If I had known that it was going to be just as hard to make time to write with an “empty nest” as it was when the house was full, I might have pushed a little harder to write earlier. Then again, maybe, hopefully, those years of waiting have enriched what I have to share now.

May God give us wisdom, patience, and guidance to know when our back burner dreams are “just right” and ready to serve.

Do you have anything on the back burner now? Have you had a back burner dream that was made better by waiting?

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How Can a Wife Help Her Husband?

Posted on October 19, 2025 by Barbara Harper

We depend on our husbands for a lot of things: his work to provide for the family, his leadership, his companionship. He listens, encourages, supports. In many households, the husband takes care of car and home repairs. In some, he does the landscaping and lawn-mowing. And sometimes he helps with groceries, errand-running, laundry, housework, and even our projects.

It’s easy to depend on a husband’s help in myriad ways. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and Jesus certainly helps us.

But sometimes I’m reminded of Genesis 2:18, where God said He made woman a helper fit for or suitable for the man. And I wonder, am I being a help to my husband? And how do I do that?

I’m not much help with working on car or house repairs, except maybe for holding a flashlight or handing a tool. We prioritized my being home, first with the children, then to care for his mother, for most of our marriage, so my financial contribution was more on managing what we had well. Plus, I didn’t have the skill set to provide for us as he did.

I think a wife’s help to her husband will vary from marriage to marriage. 1 Peter 3:7 says husbands are to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge” or “in an understanding way,” depending on the translation. That’s also true of wives in regard to their husbands. We need to understand our own husbands and what he would consider helpful. I knew one woman who had been told that a good wife keeps a spotless home. But then she learned that her husband didn’t really care if the home was super-clean. He’d rather she spent more time with him than cleaning.

However, there are some ways we can each be a suitable helper.

Love him. Once a Sunday School teacher of a women’s class I was in came to Titus 2:3-4, which tells older women to teach the younger a number of things, including loving their husbands. The teacher said, “I think that just comes naturally, don’t you?” Then she went on to the next verse. If it came naturally, I don’t think we’d need to be taught it. The love that starts marriage is usually not the kind of love that sustains it. One of my teachers defined biblical love as the “self-sacrificial desire to meet the needs of the cherished person.” Our innate selfishness is going to come out, as is his, and we have to work at putting each other first.

Love God. Though we depend on our husband to provide for us, protect us, keep us from loneliness, and so many other things, we come to the place where we realize he can’t be everything to us. God works through our husbands to do those things, yet our ultimate dependence needs to be on God, not our husbands. And we need to lean on the Lord for strength and grace and wisdom to do our part.

Pray for him. Beyond asking God to bless his day, we can pray for wisdom for him at work and home, for God to help him grow and mature in Him. I often like to pray Colossians 1:9-12, as well as other Scriptures, for my loved ones.

Fellowship. The verse about woman being made a helper is in the context of creation. God had made the animals, then man. Adam named all the animals, but found no one like himself. God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. He made woman as a helper. So it seems one of the first and best ways to help our husbands is to be with them, to listen to them. It’s easy, with so much to do in life, to just pass each other on the way to other tasks and appointments. We need to prioritize time together.

Providing a safe place. We should be the main ones our husbands can share with or vent to without worrying about being put down or having what he told us in confidence shared with others.

Respect. Yes, respect goes both ways. But Ephesians 5:33 tells wives specifically to respect their husbands.

In one book I read some years ago, a poll among Christian men showed that the majority of them valued respect even more than love (1). We should never ridicule, demean, put down, or scold our husbands. If there’s something we’d like him to do differently, we need to express that in a tone like we’d use with a friend or boss or anyone else we respected.

But what if he’s not acting in a way we can respect? It helps me to turn this question around. The same verse that talks about wives respecting husbands says a husband should love his wife as himself. Do we want our husbands to love us only when we deserve it, when we act lovable? No! We want him to show love even when–maybe especially when–we’re not acting so lovable. He loves us not because of how we act, but out of obedience to God. So we should respect him out of obedience to God. Even if we can’t respect everything he does, we can show respect to him as a person and in his position as our husband.

Manage expectations. Our husbands are not going to be perfect. They’re not always going to be spiritual giants. Elisabeth Elliot wrote that we marry a sinner, because there is no one else to marry. She also said that, instead of harping on the 20% or so that we might disagree with, we need to appreciate the 80% we like.

Colossians 3:12-13 was written to the church to practice in everyday life, which surely includes the home: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

In addition, we need to be realistic about what he does do. Often I hear wives wish their husbands would do more. In our home, my husband worked 40+ hours a week, did the yard work and taxes, paid the bills, took care of home repairs, and did everything involving the vehicles. Should I then expect him to help me with everything I do as well? He was always willing, if he was able, and I did call on him a lot. But I tried to be conscience of what he was already doing and not overload him.

Submit to him. Yes, Ephesians 5:21 says we’re to submit to one another. But verse 22, as well as Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1, Titus 2:4-5, tells wives to submit to their husbands. This doesn’t mean he lords it over her or that she’s a doormat with no opinions of her own. But if we’re constantly pulling against him or his leadership, we’re hurting more than helping.

Be content. It’s not wrong to want to make improvements or to dream of a bigger home or new furniture or nicer clothes. But those things usually have to be managed over time. We need to wait patiently and not constantly complain.

Respect his work. Hollywood has made several movies about workaholic dads who need to learn that their families are more important than the corporate world. But often those stories are unrealistic. I wonder if men who work at home feel even more pressure to put away work to help at home or go to family activities. Providing for his family is the responsibility of a husband and father (that’s not to say wives can’t work, but usually the bulk falls on the husband).

I had to learn this the hard way when my husband’s job started requiring him to travel. I often wailed to the Lord that this wasn’t what I signed up for. But then it seemed my husband had even more road trips. Even when he wasn’t traveling, he usually worked way over forty hours a week. He wasn’t a workaholic, but he had a strong work ethic and felt the responsibility of making sure the job was done rather than clocking out just because it was 5 p.m.

Inspiration came for me in the form of a novel, A Quiet Strength by Janette Oke, about a young woman’s struggles during the first few years of marriage .Though I had been married for years and the main character was a newlywed, her struggles with being left alone so much while her husband worked on the farm and built their home resonated with me. He saw what he was doing as an expression of love and care for her. But all she could see was her loneliness. In novel style, they had a big blowup, then talked things out, then found small ways to connect to offset the time apart. My husband and I didn’t have a blowup, but I needed to seek contentment, maturity, and God’s strength. This all led to a post titled Coping When Your Husband Is Away, which turned out to be one of my most viewed posts. I had no idea so many women had the same struggle.

Encourage his friendships with other men. Though we’re probably our husbands’ main social outlet, we can’t be the only one. The Bible has much to say about our fellowship with other believers. My husband has always encouraged my friendship with other women, but he has sometimes been reluctant to get together with other men outside of work and church since his job took him away from home so much. But he did enjoy work days and men’s prayer breakfasts. Now that he’s retired, he sometimes gets together for coffee or lunch with other men.

Give him some time to himself. It’s not usually wise to hit him at the door with bad news (unless it’s an emergency) or a litany of all the problems that came up that day. Give him some time to decompress or work on his hobbies. This varies from person to person, but an introvert will be much better with others when he has some time alone.

Be trustworthy. Proverbs 31:1-12 says of the excellent wife, “The heart of her husband trusts in her. . . She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Of course we shouldn’t lie or hide things from our husbands. But sometimes we’re tempted to shade the truth if we feel he’s going to disapprove or be disappointed in something we did. It’s better to be open and honest, even if we need to confess something or apologize.

Ask for what you need, don’t nag. When we need some of the help mentioned in the first paragraph or some time alone, we can ask for it in a kind, cooperative, and patient way. We don’t need to demand or needle or fuss. If there’s a conflict, we can graciously seek to work it out.

Ask him. Books and articles about marriage can be helpful, but no two are alike. We each bring different personalities, gifts, and traditions to the relationship. We each adapt to our own spouse. There may be ways we think we’re helping that aren’t so helpful. Or there may be a way to help that we haven’t thought of.

Does this sound exhausting? God will give strength in our weakness and grace to help in time of need.

_____
(1) For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I read this years ago and don’t remember if I agreed with everything in it. But this point stood out to me.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

What Complaining Does

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Barbara Harper

When I was student teaching, another student from my college with his own car offered to drive the rest of us who were teaching at a particular school. There was something about his car that produced a strong sulfur-like smell. Many mornings–maybe every morning–I made some kind of comment about the odor. One day he wearily said, “I know it smells bad, but I can’t help it.”

Suddenly I realized how my complaining must have sounded to him. Not only was I wearing him down with my negativity, but I wasn’t showing any gratitude or consideration for his kindness in driving me to school.

It’s so easy to complain about the least little thing: the weather, other drivers, the neighbor who plays loud music, the restaurant entree that takes too long to arrive, the rude sales clerk, loss of electricity during a storm, and so much more.

Our ladies Bible study is working through Exodus this semester. In Exodus 15:22, the Israelites went three days in the wilderness only to find that the water was too bitter to drink. In the next chapter, they complain because they don’t have food.

Their concern was legitimate. Being without food and water, especially in the wilderness, is a serious problem.

But they had just seen God work miraculously in the ten plagues He had sent to Egypt and then in delivering them from Pharaoh’s army by way of walking through the Red Sea on dry ground. It seems like they’d stop to think that a God who could do that could provide for them. They didn’t even ask Him. They just started to complain–other translations say they grumbled or murmured.

But before we’re too hard on the children of Israel, we need to look at ourselves. How often do I complain at the first minor inconvenience? I don’t stop to ask God if He has something for me to learn from the problem. I might get convicted about that later, but all too often my first response is to grouse.

The night we discussed this passage in our Bible study, our teacher asked us what some of the results of this complaining were as she wrote them on the whiteboard. I wished I had taken notes or taken a photo of the board. But here’s what I remember or what comes to mind as I look at the passage now.

What complaining does:

Minimizes God’s work and maximizes the problem. When we complain, we’re focused on the problem instead of looking to the One who can fix the problem.

Distorts reality. It may have looked like Israel was in the desert with no water. But in reality, they were in the hands of the God who redeemed them and promised to lead and take care of them.

Reveals ingratitude. When the people complained in the wilderness, they lamented that they weren’t still enslaved in Egypt. In their grumbling, they didn’t appreciate all God did to free them.

Infects others. Complaining spreads like wildfire, both in spreading from person to person, and spreading to other areas of life.

Places false blame. The people grumbled against Moses, as if the situation was his fault. The church of one of our pastor friends turned against him for “running the church into debt.” We asked one person whether the congregation had voted on the spending proposals. She said yes, but “We figured they knew what they were doing.” How often do we take out our dissatisfaction with a company on the waiter or sales clerk, who are just trying to do their jobs and aren’t responsible for company policy?

Destroys our peace and rest. When we complain, we stir up negativity and discontent in our own hearts rather than resting in our God.

Becomes a bad habit. As we’ll see later in Exodus, the Israelites’ complaining continues throughout their journey. The more we give way to complaining the more that becomes our default response.

Wears others down. Later in Exodus, the peoples’ complaining drives Moses to complain to God (Numbers 11:10-15).

Leads to a worse offense. In Numbers 14, the Israelites come to the land God promised them. But they’re afraid to go in. The spies who scouted out the territory report that there are giants in the land. The people, once again, do not look to God’s promised help. When Joshua and Caleb try to encourage them that God will enable them to claim the land, the people want to stone them. How many decades-long feuds have started because of one disagreement or seeming offense?

Hardens hearts. In Psalm 95:7b-9, the psalmist warns, “Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
when your fathers put me to the test and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.” Marah was the name given to the place where the water was bitter back in Exodus 15.

The writer of Hebrews refers to this passage twice in chapter 3 and exhorts readers to “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (verses 12-13).

Complaining is serious business. In Exodus 16:8, Moses tells the people, “The Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him—what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the Lord.” The fact that they are actually grumbling against the Lord is repeated in Numbers 11 and 14.

God didn’t deal with them harshly at first. They’d just come from 400 years of slavery. They probably hadn’t had much opportunity to encourage or teach each other spiritually. But after a while, when they had enough knowledge and experience with God to trust that He would take care of them, He became angry at their complaining, unbelief, and hardness.

Paul refers to the Israelites in the wilderness in 1 Corinthians 10:9-11: “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.”

And lest we think we’re immune, Paul goes on to say, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (verse 12).

In pondering this topic, I think it’s important to establish what complaining is not.

I don’t think it’s wrong to simply make an observation. When my kids were little, if I said, “Wow, it sure is hot today,” one of them would say, “Complaining is a sin.” I’m not sure where he heard that. I probably tried to teach them not to complain, but not with that sentence in that way.

Likewise, discussing a problem in itself isn’t complaining. I might tell the waiter about a problem with my food so the restaurant knows something is wrong. My husband and I might discuss a problem with a neighbor to ascertain whether there is anything we can do about it.

Lament is also not complaining. The psalms are full of people crying out to the Lord about their problems.

Any of these things can be done in a gripy, complaining way, but aren’t necessarily complaining in themselves. Murmuring and grumbling seem to have some element of annoyance and dissatisfaction. Complaining might involve demeaning or quietly seething or ranting at the waiter or against the neighbor.

What does God want us to do instead of complain? Trust Him. Soften our hearts. Magnify Him, not the problem. Ask Him to intervene and take care of the problem. Remind ourselves of the way He has provided for us in the past. Take the problem to the right people to address it. Wait patiently. Forgive and forbear with each other (Colossians 3:13). Learn what He has for us in allowing the situation.

May God give us grace to do so.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Look to Jesus

Posted on October 5, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Do you ever hear or even sometimes use a phrase and then one day suddenly wonder, “What exactly does that mean? How do we even do that?”

I thought that recently in regards to “looking to Jesus.” That phrase comes from Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Other translations say “fix our eyes on Jesus.” To me, that implies purpose, intention. Some say “keep looking,” which indicates a sustained, continuous look–not a quick glance. According to the Strong definitions at the bottom of this page for the Greek word for “Let us fix our eyes,” it means, “To look away from (something else) to, see distinctly . . . to consider attentively.”

How can we look to Jesus when He is not physically on Earth any more? He wasn’t when Hebrews was written, either, so the author did not have a physical view in mind. Where do we see Him these days? In His Word.

What would that look like in everyday life?

In Isaiah 45:21b-22, God says, “There is no other god besides me, a righteous God and a Savior; there is none besides me. Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.” Some other translations say “Look to me.” The first way we need to look to Him is for salvation. As He said, He is the only true God and Savior. God took on flesh in Jesus and bore all our sins on the cross so that when we turn from our sins and our own self-righteousness and trust in Him as our Savior, we’re forgiven, made a child of God, and given eternal life.

Then we can look to Him as an example.

When harried with a constant stream of people with needs to be met, look to Jesus. He was never impatient. He was compassionate.

When it’s hard to find time alone with God, look to Jesus. He sought creative times and places to spend with His Father. He didn’t get frustrated when people interrupted His prayer time.

When angry and wanting to just let someone have it, look to Jesus. “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (2 Peter 2:23).

When it’s hard to forgive others, look to Jesus. He freely forgave us. He died for us when we were His enemies.

When others are tough to love, look to Jesus. He loved those who had no interest in Him. He loved those who crucified Him.

When it’s difficult to serve others, look to Jesus. When He washed the disciples’ feet, He said He had “given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (John 13:15). “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Philippians 5-7).

When you don’t want to give, look to Jesus. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9).

When people don’t understand you, look to Jesus. His own parents and brothers didn’t always understand Him, nor did the disciples. He patiently kept doing His Father’s will, and eventually understanding dawned for His loved ones.

When storms come, look to Jesus. He was so trustful in His father’s care that He could sleep in a storm-tossed boat.

When God’s will seems hard, look to Jesus. He poured out His heart to His Father and even asked if the cup He was to partake of might be removed. Yet, ultimately He said, “Not my will, but thine be done” (Luke 22:42).

When suffering, look to Jesus. “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

But, you say, He’s Jesus. He’s God. He’s sinless. Of course He perfectly trusted and obeyed.

We’re not God and never will be. How does looking to Him help us when we’re so far from what He is?

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

He’s more than just an example. Somehow, as we behold Him, we’re gradually changed to be more like Him. Colossians 3 talks about putting off the old self and putting on “the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (verses 9-10). We put on the new self not just by changing habits, but by being renewed in the knowledge of Him.

As we see the living Word of God (John 1) in the written Word of God, we see His glory, our minds are renewed, and we’re changed to be more like Him.

There’s an old hymn titled “Take Time to Be Holy” by William D. Longstaff. Someone has adapted the words to say “Take Time to Behold Him“–which is how we become holy.

Take time to behold Him,
Speak oft with Thy Lord,
Abide in Him always,
And feed on His Word.
Wait thou in His presence,
Submissive and meek,
Forgetting in nothing
His blessing to seek.

Take time to behold Him,
The world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret
With Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus
Like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends, in thy conduct,
His likeness shall see.

Take time to behold Him,
Let Him be thy guide;
And run not before Him
Whatever betide;
In joy or in sorrow
Still follow thy Lord,
And, looking to Jesus,
Still trust in His Word.

Take time to behold Him,
Be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each temper
Beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit
To fountains of love,
Thou then shalt be fitted
His mercy to prove.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Ways to Pray for the Lost

Posted on September 28, 2025 by Barbara Harper

One of our former pastors who is now with the Lord used to encourage us to pray Scripturally rather than falling into “Christian cliches.”

One evening he especially challenged us regarding praying for people who don’t know the Lord. It’s not cliche to pray “Please save so-and-so.” Paul said of his countrymen, “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved” (Romans 10:1).

But, if you’re like me, praying the same way repeatedly can seem rote after a while. Petitions based on Scripture not only refresh our prayers but also give us confidence that we’re praying according to God’s will.

The discussion that night sparked a brief search which turned up a few verses of praying for the lost. Since then, I’ve added others as well as some passages that aren’t prayers in themselves but can be turned into prayer.

We don’t necessarily need to mention all these things every time we pray for our non-Christians friends and loved ones, but considering one or two of these at a time can help us pray more fervently and effectively.

We can pray that:

They hear or read God’s Word. Romans 10:17 tells us “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” There are so many ways now to encounter the gospel–in one’s own Bible, on apps, via audio, and so many more options.

Someone tells them of Jesus. In a sense, books, blogs, social media posts, tracts, etc, involve someone telling the hearers or readers about Him. I’ve heard testimonies of people who believed on the Lord alone in their rooms after reading the Bible. But for many, a personal example is needed.

When Jesus had compassion on a crowd “because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd,” He told the disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:35-38). In Romans 10:14-15, Paul writes, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?”

We can also pray that those who share the gospel would be given the right words to make it clear. Paul prayed for words, boldness (Ephesians 6:18-20), an open door (Colossians 4:3), and clarity (Colossians 4:4).

God will draw our lost loved ones to Himself. Jesus said, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him” (John 6:44).

The Holy Spirit will guide them into truth and remind them. Jesus said the Holy Spirit would guide us into all the truth (John 16:13), teach all things, and remind us of what Jesus said (John 14:26). Paul goes on to say, “Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says ‘Jesus is accursed!’ and no one can say ‘Jesus is Lord’ except in the Holy Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:3).

Their hearts will be “good ground.” In what we call the parable of the sower in Matthew 13, Jesus talks about various people’s hearts as ground that the seed of the Word is dropped into. The seed doesn’t take root and grow in some because it’s snatched away, in others because their heart is stony, in others because thorns choke it out. But the one with “good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it.”

Though we’re not specifically instructed to pray this way, I’ve prayed at times for hearts of lost loved ones to become good ground, for the stones to be removed, the bedrock underneath to be broken up, the thorns to be kept back, so that the seed of the Word can take root and bring forth fruit.

A line from a little-known stanza of the beloved hymn “Just As I Am” says, “Just as I am, Thy love unknown/ Has broken every barrier down.” I think God does that in some by bringing circumstances into their lives to soften them and by bringing them under the sound of the Word that they reject at first, but which gradually breaks down the stoniness. I think apologetics ministries are most helpful here in making way for the gospel.

They would be convicted of sin. Jesus said the Holy Spirit “will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment” (John 16:8). Though conviction feels awful, without it, people don’t know that there’s anything they need to be saved from. In one sense, as we mature in the Lord, we realize more fully how awful sin is and how offensive it is to God. But we need this initial realization of what sin is in order to realize we need God’s grace.

Their eyes would be opened and hearts turned from darkness to light. Paul said the mission God gave him was “to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me” (Acts 26:18). Again, though this isn’t written in the form of a prayer, we can certainly pray these things for those on our hearts.

That they would not be deceived. In Matthew 7:21-23, Jesus says that some people will fully expect to get into heaven, but will be told that He never knew them. One of my frequent prayers is that none of my loved ones would be deceived into thinking they are saved if they are not. I also pray they would not be deceived by those who twist Scripture to try to make it say something it doesn’t (2 Peter 3:16).

I’ve also prayed that people would realize that whatever they’re trusting in is not dependable and will not satisfy in the long run, or that whatever is keeping them from salvation is not worth it.

They would understand God’s love. God says He drew His people “with cords of kindness, with the bands of love” (Hosea 11:4). Paul prays for the Ephesians “to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16-19). Once while reading this passage, the phrase “to know the love of Christ” jumped out at me. Paul goes on to say that this love surpasses knowledge–yet he prays we’ll comprehend. He’s praying for believers here: we can continually grow in our understanding of God’s love. But I think we can ask for Him to open the hearts of our unsaved loved ones to God’s love as well. God’s law convicted me of my sin and my need of forgiveness, but His love drew me and convinced me it was safe to come to Him and He would receive me.

I was astonished to realize that a familiar passage followed this one in Ephesians. After Paul prayed that the Ephesians would comprehend God’s love, he said, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21). We use these verses as encouragement for all kinds of things. But in context, praying for others to know God’s love and be filled with the fullness of God, we can trust He’s able to do more than we can ask or think.

What encouragement that our lost loved ones aren’t “impossible cases.” God is able to work through His word, His people, and His Holy Spirit to turn hearts to Himself.

(Revised from the archives).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How to Withstand Pressure

Posted on September 21, 2025 by Barbara Harper

The USS Thresher was a nuclear-powered submarine that sank in 1963, killing all 129 people on board. A series of events caused it to sink and then to implode due to the extreme pressure deep in the ocean.

Research equipment with cameras that could withstand the oceanic pressure were lowered and found the Thresher in five pieces. In addition, the cameras saw fish and other life forms that were previously unknown.

These sea creatures thrived in pressure strong enough to crush a submarine, How?

This article details features of a few specific deep-sea creatures. But the bottom line, Wikipedia says, is “Deep-sea organisms have the same pressure within their bodies as is exerted on them from the outside, so they are not crushed by the extreme pressure.”

These creatures aren’t crushed by deep sea pressure because their internal pressure is equal to it. In fact, many die (even explode) when they are brought to the surface for study because their pressure is no longer equalized.

We face a lot of pressures these days, don’t we? Making a living, keeping up with responsibilities, making time for those we love. Then we all have struggles against our own besetting sins. The world is getting less friendly to Christianity every day. And we have an enemy of our souls who seeks our destruction like a roaring lion.

We’re not equal to it in ourselves. “My flesh and my heart may fail,” Asaph says. Mine, too. Then he goes on to say, “but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

The apostle John wrote, “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). The one within us is more than equal to the pressures around us.

“Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:7-8, HCSB).

Sometimes God relieves pressure by removing a burden from us. Other times, He gives us grace to bear it. Missionary pioneer Hudson Taylor said, “It doesn’t really matter how great the pressure is. What matters is where the pressure lies, whether it comes between me and God or whether it presses me nearer His heart.” We need to let pressures of life push us closer to our God. He invites us to cast our care on Him, to depend on His strength in our weakness, to come to Him for rest.

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Are You Full?

Posted on September 14, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Nearly every time I come to the table for lunch, the napkin holder needs to be refilled. I guess it makes sense that we use a similar number of napkins each day, so they need to be refilled around the same time. Yet I sometimes find myself irked that I need to stop and get napkins from the pantry before I can eat.

It seems like many things constantly need to be refilled: the salt and pepper shakers, paper towel holders, toilet paper holders, tea pitcher, ice trays, liquid soap dispensers, countertop hot water dispenser. On a larger scale, the dishwasher, washer and dryer, pantry, freezer, refrigerator.

I used to cringe when media called us consumers. But after becoming an adult and managing my own household, it didn’t take too long to understand why that description stuck. We’re constantly using and replacing supplies.

I could reframe my irritated thoughts more positively by being thankful I have things like napkin holders and salt shakers that make life more comfortable, and I have the means to keep refilling them.

I began to think of the immaterial ways we need to be filled.

We fill our minds with knowledge–not that we use it up, but there are constantly new things to learn.

We fill our souls with beauty and inspiration.

And most importantly, our spirits need to be filled with:

The Holy Spirit. “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). We receive the Holy Spirit when we’re saved, but the Bible records numerous instance of people being filled with His Spirit multiple times.

The knowledge of His will. “That you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9).

The fruit of righteousness. “Filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:11).

Praise to God. “My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day” (Psalm 71:8).

Goodness. “I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another” Romans 15:14).

Joy and peace. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13; also Psalm 16:11).

Joy in prayer. “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full” (John 16:24).

Joy in His presence. “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

Joy in obeying and abiding in Him. “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:1-11).

Strength. “A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might (Proverbs 24:5).

Assurance of understanding. “That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:2-3).

Assurance in the will of God. “That you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God” (Colossians 4:12).

Assurance of hope. “And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises” (Hebrews 6:11-12).

Assurance of faith. “Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water” (Hebrews 10:22).

The fullness of God. “To know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19).

Thankfully, God doesn’t complain about filling us, and He’ll never tire of refilling us. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6, NKJV).

Mary E. Maxwell expresses this so well in her hymn “Channels Only”:

How I praise Thee, precious Savior,
That Thy love laid hold of me;
Thou hast saved and cleansed and filled me
That I might Thy channel be.

Refrain:
Channels only, blessed Master,
But with all Thy wondrous pow’r
Flowing through us, Thou canst use us
Every day and every hour.

Just a channel full of blessing,
To the thirsty hearts around;
To tell out Thy full salvation,
All Thy loving message sound.

Emptied that Thou shouldest fill me,
A clean vessel in Thy hand;
With no pow’r but as Thou givest
Graciously with each command.

Witnessing Thy pow’r to save me,
Setting free from self and sin;
Thou who boughtest to possess me,
In Thy fullness, Lord, come in.

Jesus, fill now with Thy Spirit
Hearts that full surrender know;
That the streams of living water
From our inner self may flow.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When Evil Gets Worse

Posted on September 11, 2025 by Barbara Harper

The murder of Charlie Kirk yesterday, recent senseless shootings, the remembrance of the 9/11 attack today, all have me echoing Andrew Peterson’s beautiful song, “Is He Worthy?”:

Do you feel the world is broken?

We do.

Do you feel the shadows deepen?

We do.

But do you know that all the dark won’tStop the light from getting through?

We do.

Do you wish that you could see it all made new?

We do.

Last night, I was pondering how to pray about yesterday’s shooting. We pray for justice for the murderer, comfort and grace for the family, for God to turn hearts to Himself through this. But I wanted to pray, “Please make this stop.”

A phrase from a verse about evil men getting worse kept coming to mind, so I looked it up. It’s from 2 Timothy 3:12-13: “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.”

Earlier in the chapter, Paul writes this:

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:1-7).

That sounds like our day, doesn’t it? And the Bible says it’s only going to get worse until Jesus returns.

So what did God inspire Paul to write to Timothy in light of the increasing evil in the world?

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:14-17).

Keep on reading, studying, living out Scripture. The written Word is light (Psalm 119:105) that teaches us of the living Word, Jesus, the light of the world (John 8:12). Evil doesn’t obscure that light; it proves it and points to the need for it. Evil shouldn’t shake our faith in God’s truth, but should make us cling to it and share it even more.

Someday Jesus will return and set all things right, make the crooked things straight. Until then, we join with the psalmist in saying, “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope” (Psalm 130:5).

(Note: This post is not an endorsement of everything Kirk has ever said: I don’t know all he said. I only recently learned who who he was. But I know he was a professing Christian who tried to stand up for truth the best he knew how and should not have been murdered because of a difference in politics. The main point of this post is to point us to God’s light in an increasingly dark world.)

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

The Only Bloodline That Matters

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Bloodlines used to mean a great deal in society. Many a Regency-era romance involves a highborn person who falls hopelessly in love with someone who is wonderful and kind, but off-limits because of their low birth. Even now we speak of someone being from “a good family.”

I’ve often been curious about my ancestry, but I’ve never investigated how to research family history. I don’t know much about relatives who lived before my grandparents. It’s fun to hear others talk about what kind of people they came from. Well-thought of ancestors can make us feel good about ourselves. But it’s embarrassing to find out we come from a criminal or some otherwise unfavorable lineage.

Recently someone reminded me of John Harper, one of the men on the Titanic who died in the icy waters of the North Atlantic Ocean. He was a Scottish pastor who spent his last hours clinging to wreckage from the ship, sharing the gospel with everyone within earshot, refusing rescue so others who weren’t ready to die could have more time to be saved.

I think one of my husband’s relatives once told us we were related to John Harper. I found myself hoping we were, as if something of his character could rub off on our family through his bloodline.

In Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot, she shared this from her grandfather, Philip E. Howard, from his book, Father and Son:

Do you remember that encouraging word of Thomas Fuller’s, a chaplain of Oliver Cromwell’s time? It’s a good passage for a father in all humility and gratitude to tuck away in his memory treasures:

Lord, I find the genealogy of my Savior strangely checkered with four remarkable changes in four immediate generations.

Rehoboam begat Abijah; that is, a bad father begat a bad son.
Abijah begat Asa; that is, a bad father begat a good son.
Asa begat Jehoshaphat; that is, a good father begat a good son.
Jehoshaphat begat Joram; that is, a good father begat a bad son.

I see, Lord, from hence that my father’s piety cannot be entailed; that is bad news for me. But I see also that actual impiety is not always hereditary; that is good news for my son.

A godly heritage is a blessing in many ways, but godliness isn’t passed through our bloodlines. The family we come from doesn’t guarantee heaven for us. We can’t coast on their faith. We have to repent of sin and believe in Jesus as our Savior and Lord for ourselves. We need to read and love His Word and develop our own personal relationship with Him.

A bad family is a problem in many ways, but it doesn’t doom us for life and eternity. God’s grace is available to all who will receive it.

Genealogies have a purpose in the Bible, but not as a predictor of who will or won’t believe on the Lord.

It’s not whose blood flows through our veins that determines our characters or our destiny. It’s whose blood flowed on the cross.

None of us is highborn in a spiritual sense. We’re all sinners to some degree. Some are worse than others, but we’re all sinful enough to receive hell.

Only the sinless Son of God could live a life of perfect righteousness before His Father. How amazing that He took our sinfulness on Himself so His righteousness would count for us. What a wonderful Savior to love us even when we were His enemies and sacrifice so much so we could be saved and transformed.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

What God’s Sovereignty Does Not Mean

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Barbara Harper

As Christians, we believe in God’s sovereignty, the fact that He is the Creator and supreme ruler of all. God’s rule is all over the Bible, but here are just a few verses about it:

Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases (Psalm 115:3).

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice, and let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns!” (1 Chronicles 16:31).

The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all (Psalm 103:19).

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand (Proverbs 19:21).

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9).

I am the Lord, and there is no other, besides me there is no God; I equip you, though you do not know me, that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the Lord, who does all these things (Isaiah 45:5-7).

For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose (Isaiah 46:9b-10).

But then we wonder, if God is sovereignly ruling and reigning from heaven, why do such atrocities like murder and rape occur? Why do hurricanes and tornadoes and fires decimate cities and take so many lives?

The good world that God created has been broken since sin entered. “The whole creation has been groaning together, waiting for its redemption” (Romans 8:22).

Jesus died for the sins of the world, that whoever believes in Him can receive forgiveness. Someday, after Jesus returns, sin will be defeated and everything will be made right. Until then, He gives grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16). He even redeems our circumstances, working all things together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:28).

People have argued for centuries over what God allows vs. what He ordains and how His sovereignty and our responsibility work together. Those are subjects too big for this blog post, and there are people much more qualified than I am to write about them.

But through years of talking with other Christians and reading Christian writing, it seems to me there are some things God’s sovereignty does not mean.

God’s sovereignty does not mean:

Passivity.

When William Wilberforce was confronted with the horrors of slavery, he didn’t sit back and say, “Well, it must be God’s will.” He fought slavery his whole life. Others who joined him saw slavery as the ultimate in not loving our fellow humans as God taught us to.

When Elisha stayed with the Shunammite woman in 1 Kings 4, he wanted to make some return to her for her hospitality. When he found she was childless, he foretold that she would have a son. When the son died, he raised him up. In neither case did he say, “Well, God allowed it, so I can’t do anything about it.”

Sometimes God brings people’s needs to our attention for the very purpose that He might use us to meet them. We can’t do what Elijah did, but we can help as God enables.

Fatalism

Some years ago when a national election hadn’t gone the way most Christians preferred, I wrote a post saying all was not lost because we still had a voice in America. We could stay informed, vote our consciences, write to our officials, let our views be known on issues, etc. Someone commented that because God was sovereign, fate was sealed and nothing we did would change anything. I responded that we have several instances in the Bible of people influencing officials: Joseph, Daniel, Esther, John the Baptist. This reader kept arguing, and I finally had to ask him to stop.

God knows what is going to happen, and it’s true our actions won’t change something He has ordained. Yet it is also true that somehow, He works through our actions as He leads us.

Lack of regret.

Though David was forgiven for his sin with Bathsheba and her husband, and God used his heartbroken expression of repentance in Psalm 51 in countless lives since then, I have no doubt that he regretted his actions, especially as the consequences played out in his family. I’m sure Peter regretted denying the Lord Jesus. We all have regrets–actions and words we wish we could take back, opportunities missed, and so forth.God forgives and redeems our regrets, but we wish we would have done right in the first place.

Stoicism.

When a fellow Christian is troubled over something God has brought into his or her life or some good thing He has not given, we can get a little impatient, thinking, “You just need to accept that this is God’s will and move on.” And maybe, ultimately, acceptance of God’s will is needed. But often acceptance is not a one-time event. Sometimes we have to wrestle our desires or emotions into submission. And though God allows circumstances for a reason, He also calls us to come alongside, encourage, help others gain perspective, and help bear their burdens.

I think in situations like school shootings or major disasters, Christians can jump immediately to God’s sovereignty in their efforts to find meaning and hope. But there are times to just weep with those who weep over the effects of living in a fallen world. Yes, ultimately we find comfort in His care and purpose. But He knows this world will have its share of sorrow and calls us to comfort each other. Our ultimate comfort comes from the promise that, in His kingdom to come, there will be no more sorrow, death, crying, or pain.

Nonchalance

I’ve known some people with the attitude that it doesn’t matter what choices they make in life, because God will guide them to the right choice. God promises to lead us in the way we should go, but He tells us to seek His will, pray, be careful, walk wisely, be diligent, and so many other things. Scripture shows people praying for God’s direction: Abraham’s servant, Jehoshaphat. Even Jesus spent the night in prayer before naming His disciples.

That there is no need for prayer.

Another mystery in the Bible is why we’re to pray when God knows the need and knows what He will do about it. One reason God calls us to pray is for our fellowship and our growth and submission to His will. And though He can and does act apart from our prayers, there are things we won’t have if we don’t pray. “You do not have, because you do not ask” (James 4:2b).

That there is no need for self-examination

Some years ago, a missionary letter told of many details and preparations involved in special meetings at his church. Visitors came, but no one visibly responded. One of the Christians asked why. The missionary replied that the unsaved people who came were not elect.

I was stunned. I think the better response would have been that sometimes we plant the seed of the gospel and sometimes we water it (1 Corinthians 3:6). Maybe people didn’t respond to the gospel then, but they heard it. And maybe some did respond in their hearts even though they did not come forward at the invitation.

But it still concerned me that a lack of response was deemed God’s “fault,” with no examination about whether the Christians there could have done anything differently. Did people welcome the visitors? Were they friendly? Was the gospel explained clearly? Were there distractions like heat, cold, bugs (in open air meetings), etc.? Yes, God is the one that brings the gospel to fruition in a life, and the Holy Spirit can work in spite of hindrances. But we can also do everything in our power to have as few hindrances as possible.

When missionary Amy Carmichael was once sharing the gospel with someone, the woman seemed to be listening, until she noticed Amy’s fur gloves. Such gloves were not common in her country, and she got distracted examining them. Amy never wore the gloves again.

That we can’t make wrong decisions.

There’s an odd story in 2 Kings 13 where Elisha told the king to take his arrows and strike the ground with them.

And he struck three times and stopped. Then the man of God was angry with him and said, “You should have struck five or six times; then you would have struck down Syria until you had made an end of it, but now you will strike down Syria only three times” (2 Kings 13:18-19).

The Israelites had been promised a land for their people. But when the time came to go in and take the land, most of the people balked and refused. Instead of relying on God’s promised help, they held back in fear. So God sent them into the wilderness for forty years.

When Mordecai warned Esther about Haman’s wicked scheme to kill the Jews, he asked her to go speak to the king about it. The problem was that Esther would be risking her life by going to the king uninvited. He might welcome her, but if he didn’t, he could have her killed. Mordecai responded:

Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this? (Esther 4:13-14).

Of course, in each case, God knew what people would do and what He would do in response. The Bible doesn’t teach open theism, the concept that God doesn’t know what’s going to happen or that He’s waiting to see what we’ll do before He acts. But humanly speaking, we can make wrong decisions. The Bible is replete with warnings about following God’s revealed will.

That we don’t need to plan

We trust God to take care of us, but we also seek wisdom for life decisions. God often works to take care of us through the counsel of others. In speaking of counting the cost of discipleship, Jesus said, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28).

Proverbs 24:27 says “Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

I knew someone who didn’t want to schedule her time because she wanted to be open to God’s leading throughout the day. But God can work through schedules as well as through interruptions.

God’s sovereignty doesn’t negate our responsibility to seek His will and guidance and make wise choices based on His Word. We can take comfort in the fact that God knows everything going on in our lives and nothing can happen unless He allows it. If He allows it, He promises His grace and help to deal with it.