A Plea to Older Women

Posted on December 7, 2025 by Barbara Harper

The Bible tells us older folks to mentor, teach, and be an example to younger people.Though I’ve never had a formal mentoring relationship with an older woman, I have been blessed by the testimony, example, and encouragement from women just ahead of my own life situation. Sometimes a passing remark from one of them has stayed with me for days, even years.

Now being in the “older” category myself, I understand concerns about trends in our world today.

It’s good for older people to share from their experience or express their opinions. But how we share our concerns is as important as what we share.

I’ve winced at memes on social media from older people extolling the ways life was superior “back in our day.” But I wonder if we realize how that sentiment comes across. Some might be meant as a joke, but many have a bite to them.

I think those kinds of posts either make people roll their eyes or get defensive. These memes can come across as condescending or finger-wagging, causing unnecessary offense.

Before we post such memes, here are some things that might be good to consider:

We did many things differently from our parents’ generation, didn’t we? So why would we be surprised when the next generation does as well?

Our view of “our day” may not even be correct. We tend to wax nostalgic, reframing the good and forgetting the bad.

We need to remember the struggles we had as younger women–the feeling that we’re failing at motherhood, at life in general, that we’ll never catch up or measure up.

Sometimes the issues some like to gripe about reflect cultural changes that aren’t good or bad in themselves.

For one example, a particular meme said something catchy (though I have forgotten how it was worded) about how we survived without taking water bottles or to-go coffee cups with us everywhere.

My first thought was, “So . . . what’s so bad about that?” So people like to bring their drink of choice with them. Is that a character flaw?

Another meme (or maybe the same one) went on to decry the bringing of our beverages into church. However, some people may think it makes for a more hospitable atmosphere to bring beverages. Many churches have coffee brewing and offer to-go cups from before Sunday school until after the morning service. Some of us who have physical problems like postnasal drip, with its frequent throat-clearing, or dry mouth, call less attention to ourselves and distraction for others by being able to take a sip rather than having to go out to the water fountain during a service.

I’ve known people adamantly opposed to bringing food or beverages into the sanctuary. But this is a cultural rather than a biblical issue. Churches didn’t have sanctuaries in Bible times. They met in homes, where there well might have been something to drink. There’s nothing sinful about carrying beverages with us, even bringing them into church.

It’s true we might not understand some of the practices of younger folks. And our practices might even actually be better. I’ve seen memes about phone usage and discipline that I actually agreed with. But the sarcastic tone didn’t invite dialogue or conversation.

Instead of ridiculing or talking down to younger women, let’s edify them. Instead of sharing what we think of as our better ways, let’s share from our own failures and faults how the Lord gave us grace and helped us overcome. Let’s encourage them that God loves them and wants them to draw close to Him and seek His help. His grace is always available in times of need. Let’s look for the positive and the well-meaning intentions to praise. Let’s tell them they are doing a good job when they are and pray for them when they need help. Let’s make our speech healthful rather than stabbing.

Isaiah foretold of the Servant of the Lord, Jesus, “The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught” (Isaiah 50:4). May we meet each day with Him, learn of His truth and character, and share with others in humility and love. May our words–and memes–be full of grace.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Is God Disappointed In Me?

Posted on November 30, 2025 by Barbara Harper

When we’ve been walking with the Lord for a while, we’re sometimes dismayed that we’re still fighting battles with the same sins. We think, “Shouldn’t we be past that by now?”

Or perhaps we’ve gotten victory over some sins, but new ones crop up. Or regrets over past actions haunt us.

We might think God must be saying the same thing–“Shouldn’t she have made more progress by now? Is she ever going to get it right?”

Of course, God doesn’t ask questions like that. He knows us inside and out and knows our future as well as our past.

When I searched the Internet for articles about disappointing God, the first few discussed how God doesn’t have emotions as we do and is totally self-sufficient and self-satisfied in Himself.

I found that distinctly unhelpful in this context. Yes, God is self-sufficient and doesn’t need anyone or anything. But the Bible speaks of Him being pleased and displeased, angry or delighted.

A case study of what certainly looked like disappointing God came to mind: Peter’s denial of Christ. In Luke 22:31-34, at the last supper, Jesus told Peter that he would deny Jesus three times, even though Peter was sure he would follow Christ to the death.

In verse 40, Jesus told Peter, James, and John, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” But they fell asleep.

After Jesus was arrested, Peter followed behind and waited at the high priest’s courtyard while Jesus was inside. Peter was asked or accused three times of being one of Christ’s followers, but he denied it, denied even knowing Jesus. The Bible says, “And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly.”

We don’t know what was in that look of Jesus. I imagine it was something like the song, “The Look,” although that’s not about this situation.

We also don’t know what Peter was feeling, though we can imagine. In his place, I would have felt remorse, regret, probably some degree of self-loathing.

Later, though, the Lord was very tender with Peter.

After Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection, the angels told the women who came to the tomb, “But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going before you to Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you” (Mark 16:7).

Tell the disciples and Peter. Special mention. Jesus hadn’t dismissed Peter or ejected him from among Jesus’ followers.

Jesus appeared to His followers several times after His resurrection. Then Peter and a few others went fishing. I’ve heard sermons scolding Peter for this, accusing him of going back to his old life instead of fulfilling his mission. That may be. He may have thought, “I failed at being a disciple of Jesus–I should go back to what I know.” But the Bible doesn’t really say. Maybe he was bored. Maybe they were running out of funds and needed to make some money–they’d been hiding out for several days.

But whatever Peter’s motive, the group fished through the night without catching anything. In a scene reminiscent of the time Jesus called Peter to follow Him, He appeared and told the disciples to cast their nets on the other side. When they did, they netted so many fish, they couldn’t haul them into the boat.

Then we have the famous scene where Jesus asked Peter three times whether he loved Him. Three times, Peter said yes. Three times, Jesus told him to feed His sheep.

Three times–the same number of times Peter denied Jesus.

Was Jesus rubbing Peter’s failure in? I think He was reassuring him that he was restored and still had a purpose in God’s kingdom. Was Peter’s failure at catching fish a reminder that Peter couldn’t even do the task that was his strength, his profession, without Jesus? Possibly.

Many years later, when Peter wrote, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:24-25). Perhaps he was thinking of his own straying and return to his Shepherd.

I don’t profess to have all the answers to whether God is ever disappointed in us, but, as I have pondered the question, a few things came to mind.

We won’t reach sinless perfection in this life. We receive a new nature when we’re saved, but we still have the old one until we get to heaven. We’re sanctified–set apart unto God–from the first moment we’re saved. But until we reach heaven, and sin and Satan are removed completely, we’ll still fight our old nature. Galatians 5:17 says, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”

The Bible makes provision for forgiveness of sin after salvation. John wrote, “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (1 John 2:1) and “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1 John 1:8-10). This isn’t a green light or an encouragement that sin doesn’t matter. It does. But when it happens, as God knew it would, there is forgiveness.

God sees us through Jesus. The essence of salvation is that Jesus took our wrong on Himself so that we might receive His righteousness. He lived a righteous life in our place because we couldn’t. “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). The Bible says in many places that once we repent of our sin and believe on Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we’re in Christ. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Again, this doesn’t mean that we can live any old way because God sees Jesus’ righteousness rather than ours. That feeling is incompatible with salvation. Our desires change when we’re saved to where we want to please God. Though we fail sometimes, our ultimate desire is to please Him. And when we do go our own way in rebellion, the Bible says God disciplines and chastens His children (Hebrews 12:5-13) to train them in righteousness.

Remember Satan’s influence. Jesus told Peter, “Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat” (Luke 22:31). We can’t blame Satan when we sin, because God has promised a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). But it helps to know that some of the weird thoughts that occasionally assail us might be coming from an outside influence.

Don’t trust in yourself. Peter had good, fervent intentions. But they were not enough to keep him from falling. 1 Corinthians 10:12 warns, “Let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.”

Use the means God provided. Jesus told Peter to watch and pray, lest he enter into temptation. Paul told the Galatians, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (5:16). God’s Word builds us up and strengthens us (Romans 16:25; Acts 20:32). Jesus defeated Satan’s temptations with Scripture.

A heightened awareness of sin develops as we grow in the Lord. When we first hear about sin, we might respond, “Well, nobody’s perfect.” Or we feel we’re not guilty of the “big stuff”–murder, adultery, stealing, drug dealing, etc.–so we’re not so bad. But as we read the Bible, we find that pride, self-glory, angry thoughts, and hatred are every bit as sinful. And we realize even more that sin is an affront to a holy God. We identify with David when he said, “My iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me” (Psalm 40:12).

God knows our frailties. David writes in Psalm 103, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.”

God’s posture towards His own is loving, merciful and faithful. David went on to say in Psalm 40, “But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, ‘Great is the Lord!’ As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!” (verses 16-17). Another psalmist writes, “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared” (Psalm 130:3-4). Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 145:8).

Just before Jesus told Peter of his coming denial, He said, “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail” (Luke 22:32). Even knowing that Peter would fail, Jesus said, “When you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” He knew Peter would fall, but He also knew Peter would repent.

Have you ever felt like God must be disappointed in you? What truths helped you? Do any of these thoughts resonate with you?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Thanksgiving Is Not a Feeling

Posted on November 23, 2025 by Barbara Harper

I often feel a little awkward when a group leader wants participants to share something we’re thankful for right off the bat. I hope she won’t call on me first so I have a little time to think.

In the midst of a heavy trial is another time it is hard to be thankful. The weight of what we’re going through overshadows thankful feelings.

Then other times, nothing bad is going on, but life just seems mundane, unexciting. If someone asks us what we’re thankful for at those times, we’d likely draw a blank.

These are all occasions when we might not feel thankful. But thanksgiving isn’t a feeling. It’s an action. And, ironically, giving thanks even when we don’t feel thankful often leads to feeling thankful.

It doesn’t usually take a lot of thought to find reasons to be thankful. And if you’re like me, once you get started, it’s hard to stop!

When going through a trial, I can be thankful that:

God is with me.
He promised to give me grace and help me.
He knows just how much to allow.
He loves me.
He is interested in my growth even if I am not.
He has a purpose in all He allows and works it for my good.

When life is mundane, I can be thankful that:

A respite is provided from busyness.
God is with me, even in the small moments.
When I do things as unto the Lord, they are important even if they are not big.
Quiet days provide time to listen to others.

When life is busy, I am thankful that:

God gives strength.
God quiets my racing heart.
God gives peace.
Rest is coming.

Any day, I can be thankful that:

God saved me.”Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:12-14).
God comforts me. “For the LORD shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody” (Isaiah 51: 3).
God helps me. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him” (Psalm 28:7).
God loves me. “Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!” (Psalm 107:8).
God forgives me. “I will give thanks to you, O Lord, for though you were angry with me, your anger turned away, that you might comfort me” (Isaiah 12:1).

We often look to our circumstances for reasons to be thankful. But we can be thankful for God Himself and His wonderful attributes:

“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” (I Chronicles 16:34; Ezra 3:11; Psalm 106:1; 107:1; 118:1, 29; 136).
“Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness” (Psalm 30:4).
“Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods” (Psalm 95:2-3).
“I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds” (Psalm 9:1).

Among the many admonitions and encouragements to be thankful in the Bible is this, from 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (NKJV). In everything–all circumstances, the ESV says–there is something for which we can be thankful.

Thanksgiving often spontaneously overflows when news is good or something happy occurs. But when we’re going through something hard, thanksgiving isn’t easy. The Bible says sometimes praise is a sacrifice. When we remind ourselves who our God is, what He has promised us, and how He loves us, we can find abundant reasons to thank Him.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

When Spiritual Disciplines Seem Dull

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Some parts of the Old Testament are exciting, but others can be a little tedious to read. Our Bible study group is in the section of Exodus talking about the furniture in the tabernacle and the priest’s garments. Thankfully, the book we’re using as an accompaniment has been helpful in pointing out the symbolism behind each item.

I wondered, though, how much the people in that day understood the symbolism. Some connections might be obvious: the cherubim in the curtain between the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place echo the cherubim standing guard at Eden after Adam and Eve sinned. The names of the children of Israel on the high priest’s ephod symbolized his carrying the whole nation into the presence of God to pray for them. The mercy seat situated on top of the ark of the covenant, which contained the tablets on which were written the ten commandments, is a rich picture of God’s mercy and righteousness meeting together.

But Old Testament saints didn’t have the fulfillment of some of those symbols in Jesus or further explanation in the book of Hebrews. So I wondered if sometimes they got lost in the details, or if carrying them out felt as tedious as reading about them. I’m pretty sure they did. Israel had to be called back to true worship of God many times over the centuries. The Pharisees had mastered the letter of the law but missed the point of it all. In Malachi, God rebuked His people for bringing polluted offerings and saying, “What a weariness this is” (Malachi 1:13).

Sadly, we can feel that way in our day, even with all the information and explanations we have. The Bible sometimes seems dull and our spiritual disciplines seem lifeless.

First, we need to ask the Lord to search us and show us whether any sin is interfering. When there is a problem in any of our close relationships, our interaction with that person will be somewhat strained, maybe a little artificial, certainly not as free and natural as usual until we deal with the issue. It’s the same with the Lord. When there’s something wrong between us, things won’t feel right until we clear the air.

Often, though, dullness or tedium in our spiritual routines comes from our flesh, our humanness.

What do we do then?

I appreciated what one lady in our Bible study said. When she read parts that were less than exciting, she reminded herself, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). God’s Word doesn’t have to be what we think of as exciting to be profitable.

Then, as she got into the Bible study, she saw things she hadn’t realized before that opened the passage up to her. Bible study aids, commentaries, and even just discussing the passage with others can shed new light for us.

We can pray, asking God to open our minds and hearts to His truths and revive us. Sometimes I remind myself that His Word is true and precious and spiritual disciplines are helpful even if the right feelings aren’t there. The writer of Psalm 80 requests three times, “Turn us again, O God of hosts, and cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved.”

Sometimes reading through parts of Psalm 119 can reinspire my love and appreciation for God’s Word.

I remind myself as well that God doesn’t adapt Himself to my way of thinking and my ideas of how things should be. He expects me to adapt to His.

And I remind myself to keep reading and obeying. Our spiritual disciplines–prayer, Bible reading, communion, serving, etc.–are valuable even when nothing seems to be coming from them. Sometimes a session with the Bible that starts out feeling dry can suddenly touch my heart in an unexpected way. Even if that doesn’t happen, His Word is still beneficial. I’ve often said that every meal is not a Thanksgiving feast, yet even the peanut butter sandwiches and tuna casserole nourish us, and in the same way, the Bible does good things in our hearts and minds whether the passage is exciting or not.

It’s the same with prayer, communion, and the rest. Sometimes it seems we’re just going through the motions. It helps to stop and remind ourselves why we do what we do and do them in faith even if inspiring feelings aren’t there.

May God give us grace to always see His word and ways as precious and beneficial. When we get weary, may He revive us and open our hearts.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Inconvenient Holiness

Posted on November 9, 2025 by Barbara Harper

It’s one thing to minister to people when you’ve got the occasion on the calendar and have time to prepare, spiritually, mentally, and physically: working in the nursery, sharing a testimony, hosting a family or group in your home, helping someone after surgery, etc.

It’s another thing when a need arises totally unexpectedly. It doesn’t usually happen when life is peaceful and we’re all caught up with our to-do list.

I think of the man Jesus spoke of called the Good Samaritan. He was traveling for business one day when he found a man on the roadside, beaten and left for dead. He could have gone on his way and not gotten involved. Two other men in the story did. Plus, the Samaritans and Jews were enemies. But he went out of his way to help. With a great expenditure of time, effort, and money, the Samaritan put the injured man on his own donkey, took him to an inn, cared for him, and paid the innkeeper for the man’s expenses, promising to reimburse him for any additional costs.

Or Abraham’s three unusual and unexpected visitors in Genesis 18. He encouraged them to rest, brought water for them to wash their feet, picked out one of his calves, and had one of his men butcher and cook it. That must have taken hours. Yet he was glad to do it.

I’m afraid I am not always so gracious when a need arises out of the blue. I try to remember to ask for God’s guidance and direction at the beginning of the day. So I like to think the plans I make are directed by Him. Then when those plans are overturned or something unexpected comes up, it’s easy for me to get frustrated at the interruption. Yet He is in charge even of the interruptions. He knew what would be coming that day. I often wish He’d let me know. 🙂 But He wants me to trust Him with all circumstances.

Recently I was arrested by the phrase “Holy Inconvenience” in a spoken-word poem titled “a blessing.” It often is an inconvenience to serve in any way, isn’t it?

Even when a ministry is planned, it often takes more time and thought and energy than anticipated. Or someone gets sick or the roof starts leaking or some ingredient is missing.

But think how greatly Jesus was inconvenienced for us. He “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). He left heaven’s glory to be born in a manger, live on a sinful earth, to teach people who didn’t understand Him, to share truth with those who opposed Him, to work whole days healing and ministering, going without food, having to get up early or stay up late to spend time with His Father. He touched those who were considered unclean. Then He suffered betrayal, ridicule, persecution, beating, and finally death . . . for us.

That makes an afternoon of cooking for company or a few hours studying to share a lesson seem paltry by comparison.

He doesn’t count it as paltry, though. He rewards giving a cup of water in His name (Mark 9:41). He won’t “overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do” (Hebrews 6:10).

This doesn’t mean we can never say no to an opportunity. Jesus did sometimes.

But it does mean going out of our way to minister to others should be a normal event, not a rare occasion.

In fact, Jesus didn’t consider that He was going “out of His way” for us. In John 4:4, He “had to pass through Samaria” specifically to talk to the woman at the well. In Luke 9:51, He “set his face to go to Jerusalem.” His way was planned before the world began. He traveled the path He did on purpose.

He has a path and a ministry for us as well. He doesn’t always show us what they are ahead of time. But we’re to be ready “in season and out of season,” whether it’s convenient or not, to share the gifts He’s given us, to share Him and show His love to others. He has done so much for us. By His grace, let’s seek His help to minister to each other no matter the obstacles.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Why Do We Need Wisdom?

Posted on November 2, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Our pastor recently spent several weeks teaching from the book of Proverbs in the Bible. In the same time frame, several blogs I follow also had a series of posts from Proverbs: Michele at Living Our Days, Proclaim and Defend, and Knowable Word.

Even my Typeshift word game app brought up Proverbs.

The main thrust of Proverbs is wisdom. It occurred to me that about the only time I hear people asking for wisdom is when they have to make a decision. “I need prayer for wisdom about whether to take this job” or “I need wisdom for dealing with a difficult situation at work,” etc.

We do need wisdom for those needs. But we also need God’s wisdom for everyday life. The ESV Study Bible notes define wisdom in James 1:5 as “a God-given and God-centered discernment regarding the practical issues in life” (p. 2391).

I decided to look through the first few chapters of Proverbs, as well as a few other passages, to see why the Bible says we need wisdom. I ended up with six typed pages in Microsoft Word, too much to share here. No wonder other blogs ran whole series on Proverbs.

But, just to hit some highlights, here are some results of my study:

Why do we need wisdom?

It’s commanded: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:5-6).

To walk worthy of the Lord: “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Colossians 1:9-11).

To avoid naivete and foolishness: “Wisdom cries aloud in the street . . .: ‘How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge?’ (Proverbs 1:20-22) “Leave your simple (folly, foolishness in other versions) ways, and live, and walk in the way of insight” (Proverbs 9:6).

To understand the fear of the Lord: “If you seek [wisdom] like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God” (Proverbs 2:4-5).

To develop discretion: “For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you” (Proverbs 2:11-12).

For protection from evil people and from being led astray: “Delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways. So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words” (Proverbs 2:12-16). (See also Proverbs 1:12-19; 7:4-5.)

To be blessed: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding” (Proverbs 3:13). “She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed” (Proverbs 3:18). “And now, O sons, listen to me: blessed are those who keep my ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors” (Proverbs 8:32-34).

Her gain is valuable: “For the gain from her is better than gain from silver
and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her” (Proverbs 3:14-15). “My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold,
and my yield than choice silver” (Proverbs 8:19).

Long life: “Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor” (Proverbs 3:16). “For by me your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life” (Proverbs 9:11). “For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death” (Proverbs 8:34-35). (I don’t think this is a guarantee that a wise person won’t die young. However, wisdom will act in ways that prolong life. And these verses also say God favors a wise person.)

Pleasantness and peace: “Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace” (Proverbs 3:17). “For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul” (Proverbs 2:10).

Confidence: “Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble” (Proverbs 3:23).

To teach others: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16).

To edify others: “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (Proverbs 24:3-4). “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down” (Proverbs 14:1).

What is the character of wisdom?

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).

“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom” (James 3:13).

“Hear, for I will speak noble things, and from my lips will come what is right, for my mouth will utter truth; wickedness is an abomination to my lips. All the words of my mouth are righteous; there is nothing twisted or crooked in them.” (Proverbs 8:6-8).

“I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion” (Proverbs 8:12).

“I walk in the way of righteousness, in the paths of justice” (Proverbs 8:20).

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

Where do we get wisdom?

God: “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity (Proverbs 2:6-7). “He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding” (Daniel 2:21).

Jesus: “Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:2-3). “And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:30-31).

Fear of the Lord: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Proverbs 9:10).

The Bible: “From childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15).

Prayer: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:5-6). “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9). “I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him” (Ephesians 1:16-17). “If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding” (Proverbs 2:3).

Intentional listening: “Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding” (Proverbs 2:2).

Active searching: “If you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God” (Proverbs 2:4-5).

Obeying God’s Word: “See, I have taught you statutes and rules, as the Lord my God commanded me, that you should do them in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. Keep them and do them, for that will be your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples” (Deuteronomy 4:5-6).

Wise people: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

When we become wise

“And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever” (Daniel 12:3).

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight,’ declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

Did any of these reasons to seek wisdom or sources of wisdom surprise you? Did any resonate with you?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Back Burner Dreams

Posted on October 26, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Do you have anything on the back burner, the place where we let hopes and dreams simmer until the time is right for them?

My “back burner” dream was writing. I loved being a mother and homemaker. I enjoyed being actively involved in church ministries. Just when my “nest” was emptying, we cared for my mother-in-law for several years. It seemed writing usually had to take a back seat to other needs.

Even though a woman has looked forward to being a mother all her life and delights in her child, some days she feels she is accomplishing nothing beyond wiping noses, changing diapers, and reading Dr. Seuss all day. She longs to do something “important.” Certain intellectual and creative pursuits have to be put on the back burner because there are only so many hours in the day. But those everyday ministrations are just as important as any grand endeavor.

College students full of zeal to go out and change the world sometimes chafe at their time of training, wondering if it’s really needed.

Olympic athletes put aside many pursuits in order to train and compete while they can.

Business men and women lay aside some interests in order to gain seniority and experience to get the next promotion.

Newlyweds may have to postpone getting their dream house until they get more financially stable.

Caring for elderly parents may require that some of our dreams remain on the back burner a little longer.

However, what kinds of foods stay on the back burner for a long time? Soups or stews that become all the richer for their long simmer. Meats tenderize, vegetables soften, flavors blend, broth thickens. The smells waft through the house, igniting our appetites.

We can give that pot a stir every now and then. In my case, I had the opportunity to write a few newspaper and magazine articles as well as a ladies’ newsletter at church. Having to wait to redo certain rooms gave me time to research and dream about what I wanted. Reading books, taking classes, jotting down ideas, and talking with others about our dreams can help prepare us for the time when we can pursue them.

We don’t need to get discouraged if others seem to have all their burners going at once, accomplishing things right and left. I used to lament that I couldn’t do as much as some women until I finally came to grips with the fact that God made us with different capacities, abilities, and personalities.

The back burner is not the place to foster excuses or procrastination. Not “getting around to” some tasks is a different thing from placing them on the back burner. We need to seek the Lord’s wisdom as to whether we’re postponing due to fear, laziness, or distractions, or whether certain pursuits are not His timing yet.

There may be some things God wants us to relinquish completely, and here our back burner analogy breaks down. There are some things He never intended for us to pursue, and we have to set aside what was a personal desire that was not His will. We have to remind ourselves that, no matter how strong and even good a desire was, if it is not God’s will, it would not have been good for us. That desire may actually have been harmful and taken away from what He did have for us to do.

Missionary Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” We don’t just stand and watch those pots on the back burner: we get other things done while we wait. Maybe we can’t write a bestselling book, but we can send a note of encouragement to someone. Maybe a family can’t get to the mission field until their training is done, but they can minister to their neighbors and coworkers. Maybe a couple can’t take a European tour, but they can plan a weekend getaway to a nearby destination.

If I had known that it was going to be just as hard to make time to write with an “empty nest” as it was when the house was full, I might have pushed a little harder to write earlier. Then again, maybe, hopefully, those years of waiting have enriched what I have to share now.

May God give us wisdom, patience, and guidance to know when our back burner dreams are “just right” and ready to serve.

Do you have anything on the back burner now? Have you had a back burner dream that was made better by waiting?

Revised from the archives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How Can a Wife Help Her Husband?

Posted on October 19, 2025 by Barbara Harper

We depend on our husbands for a lot of things: his work to provide for the family, his leadership, his companionship. He listens, encourages, supports. In many households, the husband takes care of car and home repairs. In some, he does the landscaping and lawn-mowing. And sometimes he helps with groceries, errand-running, laundry, housework, and even our projects.

It’s easy to depend on a husband’s help in myriad ways. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and Jesus certainly helps us.

But sometimes I’m reminded of Genesis 2:18, where God said He made woman a helper fit for or suitable for the man. And I wonder, am I being a help to my husband? And how do I do that?

I’m not much help with working on car or house repairs, except maybe for holding a flashlight or handing a tool. We prioritized my being home, first with the children, then to care for his mother, for most of our marriage, so my financial contribution was more on managing what we had well. Plus, I didn’t have the skill set to provide for us as he did.

I think a wife’s help to her husband will vary from marriage to marriage. 1 Peter 3:7 says husbands are to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge” or “in an understanding way,” depending on the translation. That’s also true of wives in regard to their husbands. We need to understand our own husbands and what he would consider helpful. I knew one woman who had been told that a good wife keeps a spotless home. But then she learned that her husband didn’t really care if the home was super-clean. He’d rather she spent more time with him than cleaning.

However, there are some ways we can each be a suitable helper.

Love him. Once a Sunday School teacher of a women’s class I was in came to Titus 2:3-4, which tells older women to teach the younger a number of things, including loving their husbands. The teacher said, “I think that just comes naturally, don’t you?” Then she went on to the next verse. If it came naturally, I don’t think we’d need to be taught it. The love that starts marriage is usually not the kind of love that sustains it. One of my teachers defined biblical love as the “self-sacrificial desire to meet the needs of the cherished person.” Our innate selfishness is going to come out, as is his, and we have to work at putting each other first.

Love God. Though we depend on our husband to provide for us, protect us, keep us from loneliness, and so many other things, we come to the place where we realize he can’t be everything to us. God works through our husbands to do those things, yet our ultimate dependence needs to be on God, not our husbands. And we need to lean on the Lord for strength and grace and wisdom to do our part.

Pray for him. Beyond asking God to bless his day, we can pray for wisdom for him at work and home, for God to help him grow and mature in Him. I often like to pray Colossians 1:9-12, as well as other Scriptures, for my loved ones.

Fellowship. The verse about woman being made a helper is in the context of creation. God had made the animals, then man. Adam named all the animals, but found no one like himself. God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. He made woman as a helper. So it seems one of the first and best ways to help our husbands is to be with them, to listen to them. It’s easy, with so much to do in life, to just pass each other on the way to other tasks and appointments. We need to prioritize time together.

Providing a safe place. We should be the main ones our husbands can share with or vent to without worrying about being put down or having what he told us in confidence shared with others.

Respect. Yes, respect goes both ways. But Ephesians 5:33 tells wives specifically to respect their husbands.

In one book I read some years ago, a poll among Christian men showed that the majority of them valued respect even more than love (1). We should never ridicule, demean, put down, or scold our husbands. If there’s something we’d like him to do differently, we need to express that in a tone like we’d use with a friend or boss or anyone else we respected.

But what if he’s not acting in a way we can respect? It helps me to turn this question around. The same verse that talks about wives respecting husbands says a husband should love his wife as himself. Do we want our husbands to love us only when we deserve it, when we act lovable? No! We want him to show love even when–maybe especially when–we’re not acting so lovable. He loves us not because of how we act, but out of obedience to God. So we should respect him out of obedience to God. Even if we can’t respect everything he does, we can show respect to him as a person and in his position as our husband.

Manage expectations. Our husbands are not going to be perfect. They’re not always going to be spiritual giants. Elisabeth Elliot wrote that we marry a sinner, because there is no one else to marry. She also said that, instead of harping on the 20% or so that we might disagree with, we need to appreciate the 80% we like.

Colossians 3:12-13 was written to the church to practice in everyday life, which surely includes the home: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

In addition, we need to be realistic about what he does do. Often I hear wives wish their husbands would do more. In our home, my husband worked 40+ hours a week, did the yard work and taxes, paid the bills, took care of home repairs, and did everything involving the vehicles. Should I then expect him to help me with everything I do as well? He was always willing, if he was able, and I did call on him a lot. But I tried to be conscience of what he was already doing and not overload him.

Submit to him. Yes, Ephesians 5:21 says we’re to submit to one another. But verse 22, as well as Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1, Titus 2:4-5, tells wives to submit to their husbands. This doesn’t mean he lords it over her or that she’s a doormat with no opinions of her own. But if we’re constantly pulling against him or his leadership, we’re hurting more than helping.

Be content. It’s not wrong to want to make improvements or to dream of a bigger home or new furniture or nicer clothes. But those things usually have to be managed over time. We need to wait patiently and not constantly complain.

Respect his work. Hollywood has made several movies about workaholic dads who need to learn that their families are more important than the corporate world. But often those stories are unrealistic. I wonder if men who work at home feel even more pressure to put away work to help at home or go to family activities. Providing for his family is the responsibility of a husband and father (that’s not to say wives can’t work, but usually the bulk falls on the husband).

I had to learn this the hard way when my husband’s job started requiring him to travel. I often wailed to the Lord that this wasn’t what I signed up for. But then it seemed my husband had even more road trips. Even when he wasn’t traveling, he usually worked way over forty hours a week. He wasn’t a workaholic, but he had a strong work ethic and felt the responsibility of making sure the job was done rather than clocking out just because it was 5 p.m.

Inspiration came for me in the form of a novel, A Quiet Strength by Janette Oke, about a young woman’s struggles during the first few years of marriage .Though I had been married for years and the main character was a newlywed, her struggles with being left alone so much while her husband worked on the farm and built their home resonated with me. He saw what he was doing as an expression of love and care for her. But all she could see was her loneliness. In novel style, they had a big blowup, then talked things out, then found small ways to connect to offset the time apart. My husband and I didn’t have a blowup, but I needed to seek contentment, maturity, and God’s strength. This all led to a post titled Coping When Your Husband Is Away, which turned out to be one of my most viewed posts. I had no idea so many women had the same struggle.

Encourage his friendships with other men. Though we’re probably our husbands’ main social outlet, we can’t be the only one. The Bible has much to say about our fellowship with other believers. My husband has always encouraged my friendship with other women, but he has sometimes been reluctant to get together with other men outside of work and church since his job took him away from home so much. But he did enjoy work days and men’s prayer breakfasts. Now that he’s retired, he sometimes gets together for coffee or lunch with other men.

Give him some time to himself. It’s not usually wise to hit him at the door with bad news (unless it’s an emergency) or a litany of all the problems that came up that day. Give him some time to decompress or work on his hobbies. This varies from person to person, but an introvert will be much better with others when he has some time alone.

Be trustworthy. Proverbs 31:1-12 says of the excellent wife, “The heart of her husband trusts in her. . . She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Of course we shouldn’t lie or hide things from our husbands. But sometimes we’re tempted to shade the truth if we feel he’s going to disapprove or be disappointed in something we did. It’s better to be open and honest, even if we need to confess something or apologize.

Ask for what you need, don’t nag. When we need some of the help mentioned in the first paragraph or some time alone, we can ask for it in a kind, cooperative, and patient way. We don’t need to demand or needle or fuss. If there’s a conflict, we can graciously seek to work it out.

Ask him. Books and articles about marriage can be helpful, but no two are alike. We each bring different personalities, gifts, and traditions to the relationship. We each adapt to our own spouse. There may be ways we think we’re helping that aren’t so helpful. Or there may be a way to help that we haven’t thought of.

Does this sound exhausting? God will give strength in our weakness and grace to help in time of need.

_____
(1) For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I read this years ago and don’t remember if I agreed with everything in it. But this point stood out to me.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

What Complaining Does

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Barbara Harper

When I was student teaching, another student from my college with his own car offered to drive the rest of us who were teaching at a particular school. There was something about his car that produced a strong sulfur-like smell. Many mornings–maybe every morning–I made some kind of comment about the odor. One day he wearily said, “I know it smells bad, but I can’t help it.”

Suddenly I realized how my complaining must have sounded to him. Not only was I wearing him down with my negativity, but I wasn’t showing any gratitude or consideration for his kindness in driving me to school.

It’s so easy to complain about the least little thing: the weather, other drivers, the neighbor who plays loud music, the restaurant entree that takes too long to arrive, the rude sales clerk, loss of electricity during a storm, and so much more.

Our ladies Bible study is working through Exodus this semester. In Exodus 15:22, the Israelites went three days in the wilderness only to find that the water was too bitter to drink. In the next chapter, they complain because they don’t have food.

Their concern was legitimate. Being without food and water, especially in the wilderness, is a serious problem.

But they had just seen God work miraculously in the ten plagues He had sent to Egypt and then in delivering them from Pharaoh’s army by way of walking through the Red Sea on dry ground. It seems like they’d stop to think that a God who could do that could provide for them. They didn’t even ask Him. They just started to complain–other translations say they grumbled or murmured.

But before we’re too hard on the children of Israel, we need to look at ourselves. How often do I complain at the first minor inconvenience? I don’t stop to ask God if He has something for me to learn from the problem. I might get convicted about that later, but all too often my first response is to grouse.

The night we discussed this passage in our Bible study, our teacher asked us what some of the results of this complaining were as she wrote them on the whiteboard. I wished I had taken notes or taken a photo of the board. But here’s what I remember or what comes to mind as I look at the passage now.

What complaining does:

Minimizes God’s work and maximizes the problem. When we complain, we’re focused on the problem instead of looking to the One who can fix the problem.

Distorts reality. It may have looked like Israel was in the desert with no water. But in reality, they were in the hands of the God who redeemed them and promised to lead and take care of them.

Reveals ingratitude. When the people complained in the wilderness, they lamented that they weren’t still enslaved in Egypt. In their grumbling, they didn’t appreciate all God did to free them.

Infects others. Complaining spreads like wildfire, both in spreading from person to person, and spreading to other areas of life.

Places false blame. The people grumbled against Moses, as if the situation was his fault. The church of one of our pastor friends turned against him for “running the church into debt.” We asked one person whether the congregation had voted on the spending proposals. She said yes, but “We figured they knew what they were doing.” How often do we take out our dissatisfaction with a company on the waiter or sales clerk, who are just trying to do their jobs and aren’t responsible for company policy?

Destroys our peace and rest. When we complain, we stir up negativity and discontent in our own hearts rather than resting in our God.

Becomes a bad habit. As we’ll see later in Exodus, the Israelites’ complaining continues throughout their journey. The more we give way to complaining the more that becomes our default response.

Wears others down. Later in Exodus, the peoples’ complaining drives Moses to complain to God (Numbers 11:10-15).

Leads to a worse offense. In Numbers 14, the Israelites come to the land God promised them. But they’re afraid to go in. The spies who scouted out the territory report that there are giants in the land. The people, once again, do not look to God’s promised help. When Joshua and Caleb try to encourage them that God will enable them to claim the land, the people want to stone them. How many decades-long feuds have started because of one disagreement or seeming offense?

Hardens hearts. In Psalm 95:7b-9, the psalmist warns, “Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
when your fathers put me to the test and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.” Marah was the name given to the place where the water was bitter back in Exodus 15.

The writer of Hebrews refers to this passage twice in chapter 3 and exhorts readers to “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (verses 12-13).

Complaining is serious business. In Exodus 16:8, Moses tells the people, “The Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him—what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the Lord.” The fact that they are actually grumbling against the Lord is repeated in Numbers 11 and 14.

God didn’t deal with them harshly at first. They’d just come from 400 years of slavery. They probably hadn’t had much opportunity to encourage or teach each other spiritually. But after a while, when they had enough knowledge and experience with God to trust that He would take care of them, He became angry at their complaining, unbelief, and hardness.

Paul refers to the Israelites in the wilderness in 1 Corinthians 10:9-11: “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.”

And lest we think we’re immune, Paul goes on to say, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (verse 12).

In pondering this topic, I think it’s important to establish what complaining is not.

I don’t think it’s wrong to simply make an observation. When my kids were little, if I said, “Wow, it sure is hot today,” one of them would say, “Complaining is a sin.” I’m not sure where he heard that. I probably tried to teach them not to complain, but not with that sentence in that way.

Likewise, discussing a problem in itself isn’t complaining. I might tell the waiter about a problem with my food so the restaurant knows something is wrong. My husband and I might discuss a problem with a neighbor to ascertain whether there is anything we can do about it.

Lament is also not complaining. The psalms are full of people crying out to the Lord about their problems.

Any of these things can be done in a gripy, complaining way, but aren’t necessarily complaining in themselves. Murmuring and grumbling seem to have some element of annoyance and dissatisfaction. Complaining might involve demeaning or quietly seething or ranting at the waiter or against the neighbor.

What does God want us to do instead of complain? Trust Him. Soften our hearts. Magnify Him, not the problem. Ask Him to intervene and take care of the problem. Remind ourselves of the way He has provided for us in the past. Take the problem to the right people to address it. Wait patiently. Forgive and forbear with each other (Colossians 3:13). Learn what He has for us in allowing the situation.

May God give us grace to do so.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Look to Jesus

Posted on October 5, 2025 by Barbara Harper

Do you ever hear or even sometimes use a phrase and then one day suddenly wonder, “What exactly does that mean? How do we even do that?”

I thought that recently in regards to “looking to Jesus.” That phrase comes from Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Other translations say “fix our eyes on Jesus.” To me, that implies purpose, intention. Some say “keep looking,” which indicates a sustained, continuous look–not a quick glance. According to the Strong definitions at the bottom of this page for the Greek word for “Let us fix our eyes,” it means, “To look away from (something else) to, see distinctly . . . to consider attentively.”

How can we look to Jesus when He is not physically on Earth any more? He wasn’t when Hebrews was written, either, so the author did not have a physical view in mind. Where do we see Him these days? In His Word.

What would that look like in everyday life?

In Isaiah 45:21b-22, God says, “There is no other god besides me, a righteous God and a Savior; there is none besides me. Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.” Some other translations say “Look to me.” The first way we need to look to Him is for salvation. As He said, He is the only true God and Savior. God took on flesh in Jesus and bore all our sins on the cross so that when we turn from our sins and our own self-righteousness and trust in Him as our Savior, we’re forgiven, made a child of God, and given eternal life.

Then we can look to Him as an example.

When harried with a constant stream of people with needs to be met, look to Jesus. He was never impatient. He was compassionate.

When it’s hard to find time alone with God, look to Jesus. He sought creative times and places to spend with His Father. He didn’t get frustrated when people interrupted His prayer time.

When angry and wanting to just let someone have it, look to Jesus. “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (2 Peter 2:23).

When it’s hard to forgive others, look to Jesus. He freely forgave us. He died for us when we were His enemies.

When others are tough to love, look to Jesus. He loved those who had no interest in Him. He loved those who crucified Him.

When it’s difficult to serve others, look to Jesus. When He washed the disciples’ feet, He said He had “given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (John 13:15). “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Philippians 5-7).

When you don’t want to give, look to Jesus. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9).

When people don’t understand you, look to Jesus. His own parents and brothers didn’t always understand Him, nor did the disciples. He patiently kept doing His Father’s will, and eventually understanding dawned for His loved ones.

When storms come, look to Jesus. He was so trustful in His father’s care that He could sleep in a storm-tossed boat.

When God’s will seems hard, look to Jesus. He poured out His heart to His Father and even asked if the cup He was to partake of might be removed. Yet, ultimately He said, “Not my will, but thine be done” (Luke 22:42).

When suffering, look to Jesus. “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

But, you say, He’s Jesus. He’s God. He’s sinless. Of course He perfectly trusted and obeyed.

We’re not God and never will be. How does looking to Him help us when we’re so far from what He is?

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

He’s more than just an example. Somehow, as we behold Him, we’re gradually changed to be more like Him. Colossians 3 talks about putting off the old self and putting on “the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (verses 9-10). We put on the new self not just by changing habits, but by being renewed in the knowledge of Him.

As we see the living Word of God (John 1) in the written Word of God, we see His glory, our minds are renewed, and we’re changed to be more like Him.

There’s an old hymn titled “Take Time to Be Holy” by William D. Longstaff. Someone has adapted the words to say “Take Time to Behold Him“–which is how we become holy.

Take time to behold Him,
Speak oft with Thy Lord,
Abide in Him always,
And feed on His Word.
Wait thou in His presence,
Submissive and meek,
Forgetting in nothing
His blessing to seek.

Take time to behold Him,
The world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret
With Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus
Like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends, in thy conduct,
His likeness shall see.

Take time to behold Him,
Let Him be thy guide;
And run not before Him
Whatever betide;
In joy or in sorrow
Still follow thy Lord,
And, looking to Jesus,
Still trust in His Word.

Take time to behold Him,
Be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each temper
Beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit
To fountains of love,
Thou then shalt be fitted
His mercy to prove.