Book Review: Made to Crave

Made to CraveMade to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst caught my eye a couple of years ago when a numbers of bloggers spoke highly of it. I was interested, but I thought from the title that it probably focused more on the emotional side of eating, like another book I read. I knew that was one factor in my problem with weight, but it wasn’t the only factor. I forgot about it until the e-reader version showed up either free or just a couple of dollars for the Kindle app last year. I got it then, but still didn’t crack it open. Then I saw on one of my friend Kim‘s posts that the Proverbs 31 Ministries, was hosting a six-week Bible study using Made to Crave, so I thought this would be an ideal time to read the book. The study just concluded last week. I’ve been jotting chapter notes here.

The book chronicles Lysa’s journey from being almost 200 lbs. down to a healthier weight. She discovered along the way that losing weight is not just a physical issue, but also a spiritual and mental one. The subtitle of the book is Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food. She explains that the Greek word translated “seek” in Matthew 6:33 is the word for “crave.” She says of the rich young ruler, who wanted to follow Jesus until Jesus asked him to sell his possessions and give to the poor. “Jesus didn’t mean this as a sweeping command for everyone who has a lot of money. Jesus meant this for any of us who wallow in whatever abundance we have. I imagine Jesus looked straight into this young man’s soul and said, ‘I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me. Then come, follow me.'”

“When Jesus says, ‘Follow me,’ it’s not an invitation to drag our divided heart alongside us as we attempt to follow hard after God. When Jesus wants us to follow Him – really follow Him – it’s serious business. Here’s how Jesus describes it: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me’ (Mark 8:34).”

“God never intended us to want anything more than we want Him. Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that, Look at what the Bible says about God’s chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God: ‘They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved’ (Psalm 78:18). Yikes” (p. 28K). Those who did so never made it to the Promised Land, but wandered in the wilderness the rest of their lives.

There are multitudes of spiritual principles discussed throughout the book, but there are physical ones as well, such as the fact (proven through research) that junk foods are addicting and do make one feel less full. Some people seem to be able to eat them with no problems – some people seem to be able to eat an abundance of foods with no problem – and we struggle with that feeling unfair, but we can’t compare ourselves to others and think, “If they can eat it, I should be able to as well.” If “they” don’t have issues with food, they have issues with something.

She gives mental tips, too (which overlap somewhat with the spiritual), such as have go-to scripts for certain situations to change the mental processes we’re used to and concentrating on what we’re gaining while going through this process rather than what we’re giving up.

Something that really stood out to me from the first chapter was the observation that Eve fell while surrounded by plenty: Jesus stood strong while in a deprived state of having fasted 40 days and nights. When I feel “deprived,” that’s no excuse to give way to temptation. “He quoted God’s Word. And so can we. When we feel deprived and frustrated and consumed with wanting unhealthy choices, we too can rely on God’s Word to help us.”

Another standout (among many) was the application of I Corinthians 10:12-13: “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” The “way out” the Lord provided for Lysa, she says, was deciding in advance what she will and won’t have that day. I have to admit, when I think of the “way out,” I think more of God coming to my rescue with supernatural strength and reminders of His truth rather than this kind of thing, but He does also say “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (I Corinthians 10:5), and planning is part of doing that. In Israel’s battles, sometimes God supernaturally intervened, and sometimes they had to take up their swords and fight in reliance on Him. When God gives me that “sword” with His promise of help and grace, I’m to use it while relying on His grace and strength, not wait for Him to do the battle for me.

I didn’t quite agree with every little application or illustration (the most serious disagreement was when she was asked how to grow close to God and she replied, “By making the choice to deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial. And making this intentional sacrifice for the sole purpose of growing closer to God. After all, Jesus Himself said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me’ (Luke 9:23).” I don’t think that’s what I would answer if someone asked me how to draw close to God. I think I would have encouraged being in the Word and praying as well as dealing with any sin in the life and yielding our wills to His. I can see people taking this premise of denying something permissible and running with it beyond anything God intended). But overall I benefited greatly from the book and would highly recommend it to anyone.

This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Book Reviewed: Unglued

UngluedUnglued by Lysa TerKeurst was one of those books I heard good things about, got when it was either free or on sale for the Kindle app, and then let sit there for months. I’m not sure what prompted me to read it now, but I am glad I did.

The subtitle is Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. Most of us have had experiences with out-of-control emotions, both externally from others or internally within ourselves. Some of us are “exploders” who lash out at others in some way, and some of us are “stuffers” who seethe inside, or some combination of the two.

Emotions in themselves aren’t wrong: God gave them to us for various reasons. But just like with the rest of His gifts, we can use them in wrong ways.

Lysa starts with the idea of making “imperfect progress.” Sometimes we beat ourselves up over missteps and failures, but we need to remember it’s okay to take baby steps and to get up and start over as many times as needed, as long as we’re moving forward.

A big part of diffusing our emotions is taking control of the thoughts that feed them. “We won’t develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. That’s why renewing our minds with new thoughts is crucial. New thoughts come from new perspectives” (p. 22K – the K means Kindle version. I’m not sure if the page numbers are the same in the book itself). “Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuse thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old thought patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ’s truth to change them: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” (p. 23K).

The other biggest factor in getting our emotions under control is spending time in God’s Word, and Lysa shares many applicable Scriptures.

Here are some other helpful quotes:

“I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control” (p. 23).

“Could I trust God and believe He is working out something good even from things that seem no good? You see, if I know there is a potential good hidden within each chaotic situation, I can loosen my grip on control” (p. 24K).

“We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God” (p. 28K).

“Instead of condemning myself with statements like, I’m such a mess, I could say, Let God chisel. Let Him work on my hard places so I can leave the dark places of being stuck and come into the light of who He designed me to be” (p. 37K).

“I choose to view this circumstance as a call to action, not a call to beat myself up mentally” (p. 40K).

“In processing unglued reactions, soul integrity if the heart of what we’re after. Soul integrity is honesty that’s godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other” (p. 52K).

“I stuff to protect myself by keeping conflict at bay. But if I’m stuffing and not being honest about my true feelings, that self-protection quickly turns into selfishness, and the unresolved conflict gives birth to bitterness” (p. 56K).

“Choosing a gentle reply doesn’t mean you’re weak; it actually means you possess a rare and godly strength” (p. 69K).

“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn’t dictate how I react. I have a choice” (p. 72K).

“We must spend time with God, letting His truths become part of who we are and how we live. That’s what it means to have an internal experience with Him. Only then will we develop holy restraint” (p. 75).

“I acknowledge that I can only control myself. I can’t control how another person acts or reacts. Therefore, I shift my focus from trying to fix the other person and the situation to allowing God to reveal some tender truths to me…My job isn’t to fix the difficult people in my life or enable them to continue disrespectful or abusive behaviors. My job is to be obedient to God in the way I act and respond to those people” (p. 88K).

“I stuff as a false way to keep the peace. True peacekeeping isn’t about stopping the emotion. Remember, emotions move inward or outward – whether we want them to or not. True peacekeeping is about properly processing the emotions before they get stuffed and rot into something horribly toxic” (p. 91).

“Is my desire in this conflict to prove that I am right, or is my desire to improve the relationship?” (p. 92K).

“Instead of reacting out of anger, I pause and let the Holy Spirit redirect my first impulses. Then I tackle the issues – not the person” (p. 93).

“It is through God’s ‘great and precious promises’ (2 Peter 1:3-8) that I can participate in the divine nature. A nature very different from my own. I may not be gentle by nature, but I can be gentle by obedience. If – and only if – I equip myself with predetermined Biblical procedures that I can rely on when I start to feel the great unglued coming on” (pp. 104-105K).

“I started thinking that maybe I needed my own set of default procedures for when selfishness, pride, impatience, anger, or bitterness rear their ugly heads. Because in the moment I feel them, I feel justified in feeling them and find them hard to battle. But God’s promises – His truths and examples from Scripture – are powerful enough to redirect me to the divine nature I’m meant to have. Having a predetermined plan from Him will help me stay calmer when I start to feel unglued. More godly. More in line with Scripture” (p. 107K).

That’s probably way too many quotes – and that’s not even all I marked. But I hope some of them spoke to you as they spoke to me.

This is the first book by Lysa Terkeurst I’ve read, though I have two more on hand. I enjoyed her style, and I gleaned much from this one (I even went skimmed back through it after I finished to remind myself of some of the main points).

There were places where I didn’t agree with something she said, but I instead of going into them here, I’ll refer you to this review for more detail. Reading it has made me rethink this book.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)