Monthly Archives: November 2020

God with Us

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The guest speaker was pointing out bad prayer habits. One, he said, was asking God to be with us or another Christian. God is with believers all the time; He has promised never to leave us forsake us. So we don’t need to ask Him to be with us.

That made sense to me. So I tried to eliminate the phrase “be with” from my prayers. I’d get a little irritated when someone else said it. (Isn’t it sad how easily self-righteousness creeps in?)

Then a few days ago, I read Exodus 3 about God’s call to Moses. Moses had tried to help his brethren, the Israelites, forty years earlier. But his efforts had not been received, and he ended up fleeing for his life from Egypt. No wonder he didn’t jump at the chance to go back. His first objection to God’s call was, “Who am I?”

God answered, “I will be with you.” The ESV Study Bible‘s notes on this verse say:

Moses’ initial question is surely sensible, and God does not reprove him for asking it (v. 11). However, God does not answer Moses’ question in the way that he asks it, but instead says, “I will be with you,” indicating that his presence with Moses is essential to the call (v. 12). When the OT says that God is “with” someone, it stresses God’s power that enables a person to carry out his calling” (p. 148, emphasis mine).

The thought of God being with us in our calling was totally new to me, but this note brought it out in a way I hadn’t thought about it before. I recalled how God expressed this same promise to others when He called them: Isaac, Jacob, Joshua, Gideon, Jeremiah, Mary, Paul, and others.

I’ve often thought of God’s presence with us in terms of fellowship, comfort, and help. One of my favorite verses in Isaiah 41:10: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

And this passage from Exodus almost always brings me to tears. Israel had sinned in worshiping the golden calf, and God told Moses He would send the people on to the promised land, but He would not go with them (Exodus 33:1-3).

 Moses said to the Lord, “See, you say to me, ‘Bring up this people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. Yet you have said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found favor in my sight.’ Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people.”

And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

 And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here. For how shall it be known that I have found favor in your sight, I and your people? Is it not in your going with us, so that we are distinct, I and your people, from every other people on the face of the earth?” (Exodus 33:12-16)

In another favorite passage, God promises to be with us when—not if, but when trouble comes:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2)

Matthew shares in the first chapter of his gospel that an angel visited Joseph and told him that his betrothed was to be the mother of the Messiah, the one promised all through the Old Testament. The angel quoted a prophecy: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel, (which means, God with us)” (Matthew 1:23). Though God has always been omniscient and omnipresent, He was going to be with His people in a special way through this promised child.

Then Matthew closed His book with that child grown, crucified, and risen again, promising His disciples, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20).

Does that mean we don’t need to ask God to be with us or our loved ones? I’m still inclined to pray that God will help someone know or rest in His presence rather than just that he will be with them. But I am not going to fuss with anyone about the phrasing. As I studied this concept, I noticed that Paul closed many of his epistles with a phrase similar to Romans 15:33: “May the God of peace be with you all.” Did that mean God had not been with them, and Paul was praying that He would be? No, not in the context of all he had written before. I think he means it in the same sense as when he said “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings” in Philippians 3:8-11. Paul already knew Him. But He wanted to know Him better, to grow in his experience of Him. So when he says, “God be with you,” perhaps he is emphasizing that he hopes they know His presence in a fuller way.

The more I looked up passages about God being with us, the more I found—much more than will fit in one blog post. This would make for a rich study some day.

But as I considered them in light of our calling, I realized they are all bound up in our calling. When God calls us to Himself, He promises to take care of us. We have His fellowship, comfort, help, and whatever else we need.

Whatever God has called us to do—pick up and go to another location, teach our children at home, work in a busy office or store, or any other task—He has promised Himself. And with Him, we can do anything.

(Sharing with Sunday Scripture Blessings, Selah, Hearth and Soul,
Scripture and a Snapshot, Inspire Me Monday, Senior Salon, Tell His Story, InstaEncouragement, Recharge Wednesday, Share a Link Wednesday,
Let’s Have Coffee, Heart Encouragement, Grace and Truth, Blogger Voices Network)

Laudable Linkage

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My online reading has been quick and light this week, but here are some reads that stood out to me:

What Freedom From Sin Looks Like in This Life, HT to Challies. “We want to have a neatly resolved plotline where we say I had this problem, and I asked the Lord, and he removed my desire for that, and I didn’t do it anymore. But, we all know that’s not how we typically see holiness playing out in our lives.”

Let’s Stop Stirring the Pot, HT to Challies. Sometimes sharing truth will cause controversy. But we shouldn’t post online just for the purpose of stirring up controversy.

Dr. James Dobson’s Election Reflections.

Making Sanctuaries. I love posts like this that encourage moms in their ministry at home. “Here we pray and worship. Here we read and learn. Here we play and argue and muddle through. For now, there’s nowhere else. So I try, in as much as I can, to make this a place of safety. Of welcome, even on the hard days. Of messy, constant grace, and awareness that the sacred is always closer than we think.”

2020 Comedy Wildlife Photo Finalists, HT to Laura. These are always fun. I especially like the first one with the bears and the fox and mouse.

Finally, this is a post-Thanksgiving experience for many of us (seen on FaceBook, don’t know original source), HT to my brother and sister:

Happy Saturday!

Friday’s Fave Five

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On Fridays I like to pause for a few moments with Susanne and friends
to reflect on some of the blessings of the week.

Happy Day after Thanksgiving! May the thanksgiving continue! Here are some highlights of the last week:

1. Thanksgiving, of course. Though we’re to be thankful all the time, I love this emphasis as a nation on being thankful. And, with all the family’s help, the work was divided. Though it was a busy day, it wasn’t stressful.

2. Thanksgiving food. Though Thanksgiving isn’t mainly about food, the Thanksgiving meal is a highlight of the day. We go pretty traditional around here—turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole. Plus desserts—apple pie, pumpkin pie, and this year, banana cream pie. I don’t vary much from the menu since this is the only time we have all this at one time, and we look forward to it! Plus all that cooking lasts for a few days. With some gluten-intolerant family members, in the past we’ve had two dressings and two gravies, one gluten-free and one not. This year I tried dressing from a gluten-free cornbread mix. GF breads don’t always taste as good as the non-GF kinds, but cornbread has always tasted fine. And the one time before I tried to make turkey gravy with GF flour, it didn’t turn out well at all. But this time, both dishes turned out great and were enjoyed by all. It helped simplify things not to make two versions of each.

3. A fun tablecloth. I found this neat Thanksgiving tablecloth at WalMart, full of activities to do. Timothy enjoyed it while waiting for dinner, and several of us used it while talking afterward.

4. Good customer service representatives. I called a number given specifically for answering questions about a particular piece of medical equipment. The person who answered was very nice, but it was obvious she wasn’t knowledgeable. I knew part of what she told me was wrong. The next day, someone from the business called me back, and, to my relief, was much more on top of things. Then, my poor dear husband is still dealing with an issue with one firm that has taken hours of his time. The person he’s been on the phone with this morning has been the most helpful yet. And when the call died, she called him back—it was so nice that he didn’t have to start all over with someone else. On one other call he made for another issue, the person was so helpful, he asked for her supervisor just to let them know she did a phenomenal job.

Good customer service people are worth their weight in gold, and we probably don’t tell them that enough.

5. Sleeping in. The last two days were busy preparing for Thanksgiving, and we’re decorating for Christmas tomorrow. So I am taking today to lay low and rest up. It was so nice to sleep in. It’s sad that 7 a.m. is sleeping in these days! But I’ll take it.

Hope you’ve had a great week!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I hope you’re blessed with something good to eat, someone to celebrate with (even virtually), and some moments to recount the good things God has brought your way!

Book Review: Discovering Jesus and His Love

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Discovering Jesus and His Love by Scott Leone is a short book (115 pages) about a family who comes to know the Lord through the influence of their neighbor. The author notes that the story is fictional, yet reflects on the types of experiences many Christians have as they believe on Christ for salvation and walk with Him through life.

The story opens with a brother and sister taking a walk and meeting their neighbor, Mr. Lion, who invites them into the yard for a cold drink and a visit. Mr. Lion uses every opportunity to speak to the children about the Lord. They have not been to church and their family isn’t religious, so what Mr. Lion tells them is mostly new to them.

The children accompany Mr. Lion to church, and over time believe that Jesus is God’s Son and died for their sins. Then Mr. Lion tries to teach them more about the faith as they continue to interact. The changes in the children’s lives affect their parents, who each have their own issues which cause resistance to the gospel.

In the meantime, Mr. and Mrs. Lion face struggles of their own as they grow older and their health declines.

The book reads very much like the Sunday School papers for all ages that my husband’s church used to give to attendees: brief stories illustrating a spiritual truth or lesson.

It also reminds me a bit of a book I was given as a teenager which told about salvation and the first steps of discipleship, except that book was nonfiction.

I can see this book being used to introduce someone to the gospel or encourage a new Christian in their walk. Mr. Lion’s eagerness to share Christ is convicting.

Thanks to Scott and his wife, Sara, for sending me a copy of the book. Sara has been a longtime email friend I “met” through this blog.

(Sharing with Carole’s Books You Loved, Booknificent Thursday)

Book Review: A Very Bookish Thanksgiving

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Three factors intrigued me when I saw A Very Bookish Thanksgiving mentioned at Tarissa’s. First, I can generally trust what Tarissa recommends. Second, I don’t think I have ever seen a series of stories based on Thanksgiving before. Third, each of the five stories ties in with a classic book. I was unfamiliar with all of the authors but interested enough to give the book a try.

A Promise of Acorns by Kelsey Bryant is inspired by Jane Eyre. Erin Moore is hired as a nanny to two children cared for by a reserved grandfather. Dr. Manchester has an unusual request: he has not celebrated Thanksgiving in years because it was his deceased wife’s favorite holiday, and it’s too much for him. He wonders if Erin would take on the responsibility of teaching the children about Thanksgiving. He doesn’t know that Erin has her own difficulties with the day, but she agrees to his request.

As Long as I Belong by Sarah Holman is inspired by Mansfield Park by Jane Austen. Annalise Marshell comes from a bickering family headed by a father who can’t keep a job. They’ve been offered a place at a Christian retreat center, headed by the Clark family. Mrs. Clark helps Annalise feel welcome and a part of the team, but Annalise feels like she’s in-between her family and the Clarks, belonging fully to neither.

The Windles and the Lost Boy by Rebekah Jones is inspired by Peter Pan. Patrick Quill takes in stray boys in a secret location. Some are running from abusive situations, and he gives them a safe place until they are ready to launch on their own. Arabella Windle and her brothers unexpectedly discover one such boy needing help. They’ve heard stories about Patrick. Is he real, and can they find him?

Grand Intentions by J. Grace Pennington is based on Dickens’ Great Expectations. Pippa Charles’ dream is to write a novel, but helping her mother take care of her brothers doesn’t leave much time. Then she receives a grand opportunity: her grandmother is going away for a few months and asks Pippa to stay at her house and take care of her dog. Pippa relishes the time alone, but then she gets distracted by the new friends she makes. Will this experience bring out the best or worst in her?

A Fine Day Tomorrow by Amanda Tero is based on Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Essie March suffered from serious illness during her childhood. But she survived and now wants to be a nurse. She feels the need all the more as the Spanish flu rages through the country. But a series of misfortunes stop her in her tracks and make her wonder if she’ll ever be good for anything again.

The stories aren’t a point-for-point retelling of their respective books, but the main characters and some of the details mirror them. The books themselves are almost characters in the stories as they are referred to during the plot.

Each of the stories has a strong and well-woven faith element as well.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Bookshelves told you more about a person or a family than anything else in a house.

Celebrating Thanksgiving was not just about blood family but about creating family among those you celebrated with. I couldn’t be with my parents on this earth anymore, but there were other people for me to love and to love me back.

My favorite thing about any Dickens book was how you could always get something new out of it at each reading, no matter how many times you revisited it.
 
I enjoyed each of these stories—so much so, that I ordered A Very Bookish Christmas based on the same premise by some of the same authors.
 

The Sacrifice of Praise

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Some days it’s easy to thank and praise God. A prayer is answered just the way we wanted, an unexpected gift arrives, a loved one recovers from an illness. When God does something obvious for us, we respond in praise to Him.

But other times, praise is hard. The prayer is answered “No.” A loved one does not recover. Needs and hardships abound with no relief in sight.

Psalm 116:17 speaks of offering “the sacrifice of thanksgiving.” After speaking of the sacrifice Jesus made of His own blood so that we could be saved. Hebrews 13:15 says, “Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”

Why would it be called a sacrifice to praise God?

Sacrifices cost something. They acknowledge the worthiness of the one sacrificed to. They encourage faith even as they express faith.

Why does God want our praise? Everyone appreciates a “thank you.” But God doesn’t need praise from us. He is totally self-sufficient. He asks for our praise because we need it. He lifts our chin upwards so our gaze rests on Him. When times are hard, looking to Him reminds us that He is sovereign, wise, powerful, loving, kind. When we praise Him, we acknowledge His greatness for our own hearts as well as others. We remind ourselves that all our answers and provisions come from Him. We don’t ignore the pain or heartache, but we acknowledge God in them.

As Nancy Guthrie shares in Hoping for Something Better: Refusing to Settle for Life as Usual:

When we choose to praise God for His goodness, despite His allowing what we would nor describe as good into our lives, that is a sacrifice of praise. When we praise Him for His sovereignty, even though we don’t understand the whys of His plans, that is a sacrifice of praise (p. 177).

In On Asking God Why, Elisabeth Elliot wrote of finding help to praise when she wasn’t feeling particularly thankful:

When I stumble out of bed in the morning, put on a robe, and go into my study, words do not spring spontaneously to my lips–other than words like, “Lord, here I am again to talk to you. It’s cold. I’m not feeling terribly spiritual….” Who can go on and on like that morning after morning, and who can bear to listen to it day after day?

I need help in order to worship God. Nothing helps me more than the Psalms. Here we find human cries–of praise, adoration, anguish, complaint, petition. There is an immediacy, an authenticity, about those cries. They speak for me to God–that is, they say what I often want to say, but for which I cannot find words.

Surely the Holy Spirit preserved those Psalms in order that we might have paradigms of prayer and of our individual dealings with God. It is immensely comforting to find that even David, the great king, wailed about his loneliness, his enemies, his pains, his sorrows, and his fears. But then he turned from them to God in paeans of praise.

He found expression for praise far beyond my poor powers, so I use his and am lifted out of myself, up into heights of adoration, even though I’m still the same ordinary woman alone in the same little room.

She goes on to tell how hymns also help her find words with which to praise:

By putting into words things on earth for which we thank him, we are training ourselves to be ever more aware of such things as we live our lives. It is easy otherwise to be oblivious of the thousand evidences of his care.

This year has been full of various hardships. Thanksgiving may not hold its usual luster. In fact, it might be hard to find something to thank God for. But I have found those times when I have to search for God’s blessings to be especially meaningful. He always leaves evidence of His care, and sometimes we miss them unless we’ve especially tuned our hearts to see them. 

One hymn which helps me praise is “O God, Beyond All Praising” by Michael Perry. A few lines express the truths discussed here:

And whether our tomorrows
Be filled with good or ill,
We’II triumph through our sorrows
And rise to bless you still:
To marvel at your beauty
And glory in your ways,
And make a joyful duty
Our sacrifice of praise.

(Sharing with Hearth and Soul, Selah, Scripture and a Snapshot, Inspire Me Monday,
Senior Salon, Remember Me Monday, Tell His Story, InstaEncouragement,
Let’s Have Coffee, Faith and Worship Weekend, Grace and Truth,
Blogger Voices Network)

Friday’s Fave Five and Writer’s Conference News

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On Fridays I like to pause for a few moments with Susanne and friends
to reflect on some of the blessings of the week.

Usually for Friday’s Fave Five, I make a list of at least five things I am thankful for from the previous week. I’m going to do something a little different this week, though.

One of my faves is that I attended an online writer’s conference this week! The Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer’s Conference was supposed to be in May, but was postponed to November due to the pandemic. Since the virus still had not abated, they could not take as many people due to social-distancing recommendations. And some couldn’t come anyway due to travel restrictions. So they had a virtual option this year.

The conference started Sunday night. Then Monday through Wednesday, we had two online morning sessions, two afternoon sessions (75 minutes each), and one each evening (an hour and a half). Thursday morning we had two, then the conference ended at lunchtime.

One other favorite is that I had a manuscript critique via Zoom through the conference with a woman who owns a publishing house with her husband. I appreciated her expertise. I thought she was very balanced: she pointed out some mistakes and practices I need to work on but also what she thought were good features.

I got tons of good information and inspiration from the sessions this week. But as I write this on Thursday afternoon, my brain is fried! And since this was the primary focus of the week, I don’t have much else to share—unless I think of something between now and in the morning.

Just a few more thoughts about the conference: one thing you miss by not being there personally is the networking with others. A couple of ladies set up Zoom meetings for about ten people at a time, apparently with great success. I didn’t join in because they often took place when I was spending time with the family. Maybe, if they do it this way again, I’ll try to get in on at least one or two.

Also, when you go to a conference, it’s exhausting, but it’s also a break from routine. At home, you still have your everyday responsibilities. I didn’t do much besides meals, dishes, and laundry. But I wished I had planned some super-easy meals for this week. We did have frozen pizza one night, so that helped (and that’s my third fave!)

I am inspired but tired! So I’ll leave my faves there for now.

Hope you’ve had a good week as well!

Book Review: Be Authentic

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Be Authentic (Genesis 25-50): Exhibiting Real Faith in the Real World closes Warren Wiersbe’s trilogy of commentaries on the book of Genesis.

These chapters in Genesis focus primarily on Jacob and his sons, especially Joseph.

Jacob and his twin brother, Esau, were very different personalities. They struggled with each other even in the womb (Genesis 25:22-23), and their parents’ favoritism only fueled the fire.

God had chosen the younger Jacob to be in the line of the family He would use to bless the world rather than Esau, the older. But Jacob and his mother, Rebekah, used that information to manipulate circumstances rather than trusting God to accomplish what He had proclaimed. That brought Jacob’s conflict with Esau to a head, resulting in Jacob fleeing to his mother’s relatives.

There he fell in love and got a taste of his own scheming medicine. The next twenty years were hard, but they helped develop his character. “Little by little, Jacob was learning to submit to God’s loving hand of discipline and was growing in faith and character.”

He had twelve sons, but favored Joseph. Jacob seemed not to have learned about the dangers of parental favoritism from his own situation. “The man who had grown up in a divided an competitive home (25:28) would himself create a divided and competitive family.” Joseph’s brothers, in jealousy and hatred, sold him into slavery, took his special coat that his father had made for him, spread animal’s blood over it, then let Jacob conclude that Joseph was dead.

Though a slave, Joseph seemed to have a talent for administration. But even his master saw that “The LORD was with him, and the LORD caused all that he did to succeed in his hands” (Genesis 39:3). Joseph rose to prominence until he became second only to his master. But then he was lied about and sent to prison. He rose to prominence there as well, and aided two of Pharaoh’s servants. But the one who was restored to his portion forgot Joseph—until Pharaoh had a dream that troubled him, and the servant remembered Joseph had helped him with his dream. So Joseph was called for, interpreted Pharaoh’s dream, gave him sound advice, and once again rose to prominence as the second in the land.

And then one day his brothers showed up in Egypt. But they didn’t recognize him. These chapters are some of the most dramatic in the Bible, keeping me in anticipation even though I have read them before and knew how the story would turn out.

Wiesrbe’s title for this commentary comes from his conclusion that, “In short, they were authentic, real, believable, down-to-earth people. Flawed? Of course! Occasionally bad examples? Certainly! Blessed of God? Abundantly.” These people are an encouragement that God works with and accomplishes His will through flawed individuals.

There were many helpful and instructive things to observe in these chapters. I was blessed to see the changes in some people—Jacob over time, and his son, Judah, especially. But a few things in Joseph’s story particularly stood out to me this time. Because Joseph so often comes out on top even when he’s thrown into dire circumstances, I think we sometimes downplay his suffering. But when he named his sons in reference to his afflictions, it really spoke to my heart:

Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh. “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father’s house.” The name of the second he called Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction” (Genesis 41:51-52).

Wiersbe pointed out that Joseph could have become bitter, but instead he maintained his faith in God and kept a tender heart, showing compassion towards others. “Joseph’s sensitive heart was a miracle of God’s grace. For years dead Egyptian idols and the futile worship given to them had surrounded Joseph, yet he had maintained his faith in God and a heart tender toward his own people. He could have hardened his heart by nursing grudges, but he preferred to forgive and leave the past with God (41: 50–52).”

Then, as often as I have pored over the Scriptures about suffering and reconciled myself to the fact that it’s a tool God uses in wisdom and love, I find myself still asking “Why?” sometimes. I wondered why Joseph had to go through all he did when he was one of the “good guys.” But Wiesrbe pointed out that if Joseph had remained at home as the favored son, he might have grown up into a very different kind of person.

A few more quotes from the book:

Being a victorious Christian doesn’t mean escaping the difficulties of life and enjoying only carefree days. Rather, it means walking with God by faith, knowing that He is with us and trusting Him to help us for our good and His glory no matter what difficulties He permits to come our way. The maturing Christian doesn’t pray, “How can I get out of this?” but “What can I get out of this?”

In the life of a trusting Christian, there are no accidents, only appointments.

When God wants to move us, He occasionally makes us uncomfortable and “stirs up the nest” (Deut. 32:11 NIV).

A good beginning doesn’t guarantee a good ending. That’s one of the repeated lessons taught in Scripture, and it’s tragically confirmed in the lives of people like Lot, Gideon, Samson, King Saul, King Solomon, Demas, and a host of others. Let’s add Isaac to that list.

If we obey the Lord only for what we get out of it, and not because He is worthy of our love and obedience, then our hearts and motives are wrong.

With all their weaknesses and faults, the sons of Jacob will carry on the work of God on earth and fulfill the covenant promises God made to Abraham.

Years later, Jacob would lament, “All these things are against me” (v. 36), when actually all these things were working for him (Rom. 8:28).

God’s delays are not God’s denials.

Too many Christian believers today think that God can use only His own people in places of authority, but He can work His will even through unbelieving leaders like Pharaoh, Cyrus (Ezra 1: 1ff.; Isa. 44: 28), Nebuchadnezzar (Jer. 25: 9; 27: 6), and Augustus Caesar (Luke 2: 1ff.). 

The only people God can forgive are those who know they’re sinners, who admit it and confess that they can’t do anything to merit or earn God’s forgiveness. Whether it’s the woman at the well (John 4), the tax collector in the tree (Luke 19: 1–10), or the thief on the cross (23: 39–43), all sinners have to admit their guilt, abandon their proud efforts to earn salvation, and throw themselves on the mercy of the Lord.

According to Hebrews 11:13–16, the patriarchs confessed that they were “strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” A vagabond has no home; a fugitive is running from home; a stranger is away from home; but a pilgrim is heading home. They had their eyes on the future, the glorious city that God was preparing for them, and they passed that heavenly vision along to their descendants.

One of the major differences between a church and a cult is that cults turn out cookie-cutter followers on an assembly line, while churches model a variety of individual saints on a potter’s wheel.

Martin Luther said it best: This life, therefore, is not righteousness but growth in righteousness; not health but healing; not being but becoming; not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it. The process is not yet finished, but it is going on. This is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified. (Edwald M. Plass, comp., What Luther Says, vol. 1 (St. Louis, MO: Concordia Publishing House, 1959), 234–35).

The book of Genesis provides for a rich study. I enjoyed Dr. Wiersbe’s aid on this trek through the book.

(Sharing with InstaEncouragment, Grace and Truth,
Faith and Worship Christian Weekend,
Carole’s Books You Loved, Booknificent Thursday)

Do We Have to Choose Between Nice and Right?

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I often see little memes extolling the virtues of being nice rather than right. And I wonder why we set up such a false dichotomy. Why does it have to be either/or? Why can’t it be both/and?

Most of us want to be right. No one wants to be misinformed or hold opinions that are known to be wrong or foolish. But most of us have at least enough humility to realize that we might unwittingly be wrong sometimes.

But we all know people who, no matter what topic you bring up, have a better idea or a superior way of doing things than what you just expressed. And there are some who have to have everything their own way because of course that’s the only right way. They can make everyone else miserable over the way the toilet paper is put on the roll or the way the toothpaste tube is squeezed. We each have our little idiosyncrasies and preferences for how certain things are done, but we need to learn to compromise and to be less self-centered.

However, in some cases, being wrong can be deadly. The wrong wire cut on the bomb. The wrong medical procedure or medicine. The wrong path to a broken bridge. The wrong opinion about who Jesus is or how one can know Him.

Unfortunately, people can sometimes use truth like a steamroller or bullhorn or club. Arrogance does not make the gospel winsome or inviting; harshness can turn people off to the truth. “The wisdom that is from above,” James says, “is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).

There are scores, maybe hundreds of issues where Christians can give each other grace, where they don’t have to agree on every little factor. Unfortunately, we waste a lot of time arguing over those issues, hotly defending them, stirring up discord and strife. “One who sows discord among brothers” is in the list of things God hates in Proverbs 6:16-19. Paul lists among the works of the flesh “enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions” (Galatians 5:19-26).

It’s okay to talk about them, if we can do so without heat. It helps sometimes to probe others’ minds as we think through an issue. But sometimes it’s best to let them go. Romans 14 says especially of “one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.” Paul then gives some classic guidelines for handling some of those issues: don’t despise or judge the person with a different opinion (verse 3); .be fully convinced in your own mind (verse 5); do whatever you do as unto the Lord (verses 6-9); remember the other person is your brother (verse 10); remember we will all give an account to God (verses 10-12); don’t “put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother”—walk in love (verses 13-15, 21); “pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” (verse 19); do whatever you do in faith (verses 22-23).

There are biblical issues, however, where a line is drawn in the sand and crossing it leads to heresy. Jesus corrected people’s grave errors in theology all the time. The apostles had to deal firmly and sharply with errors in the early churches in the epistles. Paul says at least three times (2 Thess. 3:6, 2 Thess. 3:14-15, 1 Cor. 5:9-11) that there are spiritual issues worth separating over. Paul tells the Corinthains to deliver one unrepentant member in serious sin (incest), “to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 5:5). The end he wanted was not the man’s destruction, but his eventual salvation. To avoid showing someone where their beliefs don’t line up with Scripture, to the point that their soul is in danger, is not the nice or loving thing to do.

Also, Jesus rebuked the disciples for being fearful and not having faith in a situation where fear would seem like a natural response: being in a boat in a storm at sea. Through Old and New Testaments, God is longsuffering and patient. But at times He had to deal firmly—sometimes seemingly harshly—when His people had long instruction and opportunity to do right but kept clinging to their own stubborn way.

The apostles could also seem harsh in their warnings against false teachers, but the truth in question was so vital, and error in its regard so eternally deadly, that strong warnings were needed.

Likewise, human authorities aren’t being kind by avoiding correction that might help one of their charges.

Sometimes Jesus shared truth that the other person did not receive, and He let him walk away, like the “rich young ruler.” He didn’t call him back, soften the message, or backtrack so the relationship could continue. When God brings a person to confront their dearest idol, it’s a crisis, and He wants them to see it for what it is and repent. Thankfully in His grace He’ll often bring a person to that point a number of times (I’ve always hoped that that man came back to the Lord at another time). Chris Anderson makes the point that in our day, there is a rush to get such a person to the “sinner’s prayer” and gloss over their heart issues: “How many such men have been led in a sinner’s prayer that salved their consciences but didn’t save their souls? How many have thus been unwittingly inoculated against the truth? How many have left churches lost and relieved rather than lost and sorrowful?” We need to allow time for godly sorrow to do its work toward repentance unto salvation.

So is it more important to be nice or to be right? It depends on the issue in question and the needs of the people involved. It’s best to be both if possible. The Bible speaks often of God’s kindness and admonishes us in many places to be kind. In interpersonal relationships, especially, we’re to “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Colossians 3: 12-13). When a right view is essential, we don’t need to convey or defend truth in an unnecessarily harsh, negative, gripy, or cynical way. But cutting corners on the truth in an effort to be nice is neither kind nor loving.

How we need God’s discernment and wisdom to know when to speak up, when to be silent, when to take a stand, when to let something go, when to rebuke or warn, when to cover someone’s foibles in love. How we need to soak our minds in Scripture to be guided His truth. How we need His discipline to deal with the logs in our own eyes before attempting to deal with the specks in others. How we need His love to look on others’ needs before our own. How we need His grace to speak the truth, yes, but in love.

(Revised from the archives)

(Sharing with Hearth and Home, Sunday Scripture Blessings, Selah,
Scripture and a Snapshot, Inspire Me Monday, Senior Salon,
Remember Me Monday, Tell His Story, InstaEncouragment,
Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Heart Encouragement,
Grace and Truth, Faith on Fire, Blogger Voices Network,
Faith and Worship Christian Weekend)