Author Archives: Barbara Harper

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About Barbara Harper

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Graduation weekend

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I’ve been mostly missing from the computer over the last several days. Jesse’s graduation was Monday night (odd night for it, I know!), and Jeremy flew in from RI late Monday night and flew back again last night.

Jeremy’s flight in kept getting delayed and finally arrived — I forget exactly when, after 1 a.m., I think. Thankfully we had nothing scheduled on Saturday, so we could just enjoy a family day before all the busyness connected with graduation kicked. I was really mad that I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep! But we enjoyed the day overall. Jason and Mittu came over later in the afternoon, we all went out to celebrate Jesse’s graduation at Calhoun’s, a restaurant on the river on downtown Knoxville. We didn’t get a table at the window this time but we walked around down by the water and fed a few ducks afterward.

This restaurant is supposedly famous for its barbecued ribs, which I didn’t like the last time I was here, and I normally love ribs (they were too vinegary for me). But I tried their chicken teriyaki and had a few bites of Jim’s pork chops, and they were wonderful.

I think we played a game that night, Last Night on Earth. It’s kind of based on those old zombie movies from the 60s. I wasn’t quite sure about it, but a man from our church in SC introduced it to Jeremy and Jesse — they used to have regular game nights — and he is an ok guy. 🙂 And when you have boys, you end of playing games that might not normally appeal to you. 🙂 It’s kind of cheesy fun. Here is my character fending off a zombie attack:

And the humans won, for the first time since we all started playing, so that revived our interest.

Sunday morning we were very blessed to have the Steve Pettit Evangelistic Team at our church. I had heard their CDs many times and knew people who knew them, but this is the first time I had seem them live and in person.

Sunday night was the Baccalaureate service at the church that Jesse’s school is associated with so we went there for that. Afterward we played another game, Galactic Emperor, which lasted way late. I think I got to bed by 2:30. But I won, so that was fun. 🙂

Monday morning, Graduation Day, I still woke up earlier than I wanted to, but had a lot to do so went ahead and got up. Jason and Mittu came over and prepared dinner at lunch time for us, a version of chicken cordon blue which was really good. That worked out extremely well both because the school was hosting a reception at 5:45 and I wasn’t sure how in the world we were going to do dinner and get ready for that, etc., and didn’t want to eat anything really heavy right before that, either.  It was nice having the big meal at lunch time, then I just made up some various sandwiches for whoever wanted them before leaving for the reception, and the rest of those were available for afterward as well.

The reception was very nice.

And then we had graduation itself. Unfortunately none of my pictures of the stage turned out well — they were too dark and/or blurry. But the school is supposed to make the photos they took of each graduate receiving their diploma available at some point. It was a very nice ceremony. I love the video beforehand of all the students’ childhood photos and a little bit about each of them. I’m hoping they’ll make that available as well to the families as well.

So here is the happy graduate:

Oh, wait, that’s his K-5 grad picture. 😀

And here’s the happy graduate’s family:

And our celebration afterward:


I was surprised that I didn’t get nearly as emotional and sentimental as I thought I would having my youngest graduate, especially after getting sentimental just the week before about packing my last school lunch after 22 years of making them. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, maybe it was just all the busyness and excitement. Maybe it will hit me later.

Tuesday Jeremy had to leave in the afternoon, so we enjoyed a leisurely morning, met Jason and Mittu at the mall for lunch and a movie, then went to Jason and Mittu’s place just to hang out for a bit before heading out to the airport.

So it was a very busy but very exciting few days celebrating this milestone of my youngest son. It was so wonderful to have all the family here for a bit — normally we wouldn’t see Jeremy until August, so it was nice to have this visit before then and not to have such a long time without seeing him.

This morning — we’re talking about colleges, bank accounts, and other necessities of life!

What’s On Your Nightstand: May

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What's On Your NightstandThe folks at 5 Minutes For Books host What’s On Your Nightstand? the fourth Tuesday of each month in which we can share about the books we have been reading and/or plan to read.

I almost missed the Nightstand post completely this month — the months with five Tuesdays throw me off. Plus my youngest son graduated Monday (more on that tomorrow!), my oldest flew in for a long weekend, we’ve been doing lots of family things, and I haven’t been on the computer much at all for the last few days.

But thankfully I saw someone mention it on Facebook, so I’m late to the party, but I’m here!

Since last month I’ve completed:

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell (audiobook), reviewed here. Enjoyed this very much.

The Fiddler by Beverly Lewis, not reviewed yet, but enjoyed. A classically trained violinist who loves to “fiddle” when she can, unbeknownst to her family and friends, breaks down when traveling during a storm outside a cabin of a young Amish man who is planning to leave the Amish and “go English.” They are kind of on parallel tracks, though in different circumstances, wrestling with the expectations of those they love versus their own desires.

Psmith in the City by P. D. Wodehouse for Carrie’s book club in April, reviewed here.

I am currently reading/listening to:

It Is Not Death to Die: A New Biography of Hudson Taylor by Jim Cromarty. I didn’t realize it was quite so long (480+ pages) when I ordered it, and I’m only about halfway through.

Chasing Mona Lisa by Tricia Goyer and Mike Yorkey, about Swiss OSS agents trying to keep the famous painting from German hands.

When Christ Was Here: a Woman’s Bible Study by Claudia Barba. Wonderful so far.

Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell (audiobook). Loving it so far.

Up next: These are carried over from my “Up next” section from last month’s Nightstand. 🙂

Infinitely More by Alex Krutov, nonfiction about an abandoned orphan in Russia whom God brought to Himself.

When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin.

Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching, and Appreciating Boys by Hal and Melanie Young.

Happy Reading!

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week, a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

It’s been yet another busy week, and a busy couple of weekends ahead, but after that things should get back to “normal.” Here are some highlights from this past week.

1. Mother’s Day. My family always makes makes this a great day. Jim grilled, Jason and Mittu prepared the rest of the meal and cleaned up the kitchen afterward, all were very generous in their gifts and sweet with their cards. We got to “facetime” via iPhone with Jeremy (Jim hooks it up to the TV so we can all see and talk to him), and after a couple of failed attempts at having Grandma talk with her oldest son in CA, we finally got to Facetime over the iPhone and TV with them. She wasn’t talking much at first — she gets confused by it all — but they did have a few connected bits of conversation.

2. Roses. Some of you know I’ve missed the roses from our old house. Jim, Jason and Mittu bought these for the new house!

3. Helps for Grandma. It’s hard sometimes to know what to get Jim’s mom. She doesn’t need or have room for more “stuff,” she doesn’t read much any more. Lately she’s been getting mixed up as to which great-grandkids go with which of her kids and what all their names are, etc., so Jim got an idea to make a wall display to go near her bed with everyone’s photos and their names in large print, and I got the idea to make a little booklet of all the families.

Of course we know that won’t “solve” the memory problems, but it gives her some ways to remind herself of them as often as she wants to.

4. Jesse’s Junior-Senior Banquet. This is The Big Event of the Year at his school, at least for the juniors and seniors, and from all he described he had a great time. I had a special mom-son moment helping him pick out the corsage (and his date and her mom both liked it!) Here he is all dressed up and ready to go:

By the way, the package I mentioned last week arriving when I had prayed for it to — that was the vest he’s wearing to match his date’s dress.

Aren’t they cute? 🙂

5. Time to veg in the midst of all the busyness. There were a couple of days when I was just super-tired, and I’d been wanting to watch the movies made from a couple of books I had listened to via audiobook, Ivanhoe and North and South, so I took some time to relax and do that. I shared my thoughts about them here.

6. Ebenezers. Do Not Depart was calling for some modern day Ebenezer stories, commemorating times of God’s help in our lives, and it was a blessing to think through and share some of those here.

Have a great weekend! We’re looking forward to Jeremy coming home this weekend!

Our relationship with God

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Our relationship with God is portrayed by many different metaphors. Some relate directly to God the Father, some to Christ. Some might seem to contradict each other, but they are all facets of that relationship. Books could be (and have been) written about many of these categories, but here are just a few verses about each one.

Father/children:

John 1:12-13: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

I John 3:1: Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.

John 3:3: Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Galatians 4:6: And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.

Bride/Bridegroom:

Isaiah 61:10: I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

Revelation 21:2: And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Shepherd/Sheep:

John 10:11: I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

John 10:14: I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.

Isaiah 53:6: All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

The characteristics of a sheep and the care given by the shepherd makes for fascinating study.

Savior/sinners:

Luke 1:47: And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

Titus 2:13-14: Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

King/subjects:

Colossians 1:13:  Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son.

Matthew 25:31-33: When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Teacher/ disciple:

Multitudes of verses about this one.

Relatives of Christ:

Mark 3:35: For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.

Friends:

John 15:14-15: Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

Master/servant:

Whoa, wait a minute. Is that even politically correct? And doesn’t that contradict John 15:14-15, quoted just above?

We’re not servants in the sense of being captured and chained and made slaves against our will. We’re not even really servants in the sense of a quiet butler or housekeeper who do their duties as silently and invisibly as possible. Paul wrote in Galatians 1 about the difference between being sons and servants. Yet in many of his epistles he identified himself as the servant of Christ.He called Epaphras a “servant of Christ.” In Romans 6 he talked about being a servant to whatever we yield ourselves to. I Corinthians 9:19 sheds some light when he says, “For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.” Galatians 5:13 says, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

Jesus was the primary example of a servant. He is called a servant in Old Testament prophecies. Though identifying Himself as Lord and Master, he washed his disciples feet (John 13) and told His disciples to follow His example (vv. 14-15). Philippians 2:5-8 tells us “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

There is an illustration in Deuteronomy about a slave who was given his freedom but out of love chose to stay and serve his master. I think that’s the picture of the type of servants we are. God is the Lord and Master of the universe: He could easily make us do whatever He wanted us to. But He wants us to serve Him with willing and loving hearts.

I don’t mean to be silly or irreverent, but I see glimpses of this in Star Trek or war movies. When you see the captain barking out orders, those under him (usually) willingly obey because they trust him and they are all working for the good of the whole crew. Yet because he cares for them, his relationship with them is more than just giving orders.

A visiting preacher once told of a friend who was on an airplane and noticed that one of the flight attendants was especially attentive, thoughtful, courteous, and went the extra mile in meeting her passenger’s needs. Exiting the flight, he told he he really appreciated the way she took care of her passengers, ending by saying, “You have a real servant’s heart.” In my circles that’s a compliment, but we have to be careful about our “Christian cliches” and the way others might misunderstand them. This woman smiled and appreciated his comments until he said the word “servant,” then she bristled and said she was most definitely not a servant. I can understand that reaction with the negative connotation associated with that word in the world. But she truly was serving, in the best of ways, and we can and should as well, thinking of others’ needs before our own.

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

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Some of you might recall the line in the hymn “Come Thou Fount” which says, “Here I raise mine Ebenezer — hither by Thy help I’m come,” and you might know that it echoes 1 Samuel 7:12: “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘Till now the Lord has helped us.’” You can read more of the background on this story here.

Do Not Depart is calling for some modern day Ebenezer stories: those situations in your life when you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the Lord who helped you, those seeming “coincidences” that you knew were really evidence of God’s hand at work.

Here are a few of my Ebenezers:

  • A move during junior high led to a school that was extremely cliquish. Sometimes people toss that word around lightly when they’re feeling a little lonely, but this school had definite, well-defined cliques with very little interaction between them, and I didn’t seem to be accepted in any of them. I’d had a circle of friends before, so I wasn’t sure what the problem was. I had a crush on one guy in the most “cool” group, but of course he and that group were impossible dreams. In later years I found out it was God’s great mercy that kept me from getting “in” with that crowd as they were involved in a number of things that would have been detrimental to me.
  • When I was 15, my parents divorced. It had not been a happy home for years, but the break-up of a family still hurts deeply. Besides that, we were moving from our very small town to the teeming metropolis of Houston, I was leaving my friends and all that was familiar and going into the unknown right in the middle of high school, and I was told I would not be allowed to contact my friends or relatives for a while because my mom was afraid of my father finding us and what he would do if he did. I laid on my bed clinging for dear life to Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Even though I had only a surface understanding of that verse, God honored that faith and fulfilled His Word. As a result of all those changes I began seeking Him earnestly, God led to a Christian school and a good church, I heard about the college where I would one day attend and find my husband.
  • After we moved, when we visited the high school I was to attend, I was convinced I could never go there for various reasons. We didn’t know what the alternatives could be, but we saw an ad for a Christian school. We visited and interviewed, and I wanted to go, but my parents could not afford the tuition. One day we drove to the school to tell them I wouldn’t be able to come. My mom went in, and I stayed in the car. The pastor and his wife drove up, saw me, and came over and told me someone offered to pay my way that year, and someone anonymously did the next year as well. It was through this school and church that I got stabilized in my faith in Christ and grounded in His Word.
  • My parents could not pay for college, either, but through various means God got me through five years at a Christian university. Lots of Ebenezers there! But one stands out: an offering from my Sunday School class at my home church allowed me to buy some necessities like deodorant and toothpaste. Coming back to my dorm room, I heard our hall was having a party and everyone was asked to contribute a dime for ice cream and toppings. I had literally only one dime left. As I gave it, I began to feel panicky about not having any money at all to my name. Then God reminded me of the offering just given. He was taking care of me in big and small ways.
  • One Christmas Eve morning shortly after our first anniversary, we were driving from SC, where we lived, to visit my family in TX. Our car broke down near Biloxi, MS. It was an old German car called an Opel, and when we’d had problems with it before, it took weeks to fix because the parts were hard to find. I wasn’t sure how everything was going to work out now, how we’d get home and then get back to get the car, etc. My husband found a phone booth (no cell phones in those days), and found a random mechanic with a tow truck in the yellow pages. He explained the problem and then said something like, “By the way, it’s an Opel, so it might be a problem to get parts for it.” The mechanic answered, “No problem — we just bought out the local Opel dealership.”
  • I could heap up a whole pile of Ebenezers from my experience with transverse myelitis, but I’ll share just one: when I was scheduled for an MRI, everybody kept asking me if I was claustrophobic. I wasn’t sure (nowadays I would say, “YES!”), but their questions were making me nervous. I was told the day before that I would have to be very still for the procedure, which I think lasted the better part of an hour. The day before, in my Daily Light on the Daily Path devotional book, all the verses were about being still. A few of them: Ruth 3:18: Sit still, my daughter; Psalm 46: 10: Be still, and know that I am God; Psalm 4:4: Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still (more are here). Those verses kept running through my mind while I was in the MRI machine, and God kept me very calm: I even dozed off.
  • When my son was planning to be married in OK and we were making plans to drive there and back from SC, my husband planned to rent a U-Haul there in OK to bring back our new daughter-in-law’s furniture and the wedding presents. But U-Haul wouldn’t rent to him because someone with his type of car had sued them once before because of some problem. We couldn’t find any other rental options in OK, so we ended up having to rent a trailer from a local business and take it with us there and back. Everything was fine on the return trip until the trailer blew a tire. I don’t even remember where we were at the time — some stretch of Interstate between cities. We tried calling AAA, but they don’t deal with tires on rental trailers. Thankfully my oldest son had a data plan on his phone and looked up local businesses and found a Wal-Mart a few exits up. But we’d have to unhitch the trailer and leave it while we went for the tire. I remember looking out the window and praying that my kids would see God’s hand in this. We were nervous about leaving the trailer there alone, but we also didn’t want to leave any one of us alone to guard it while everyone else went to Wal-Mart. I was praying fervently that no one would break into it and steal any of my son’s and daughter-in-law’s things. When we went to Wal-Mart, they were just closing their tire service center and didn’t really want to let us in, but we explained the situation, and they did. Meanwhile we got a call from our newly-married son, on his way East on his honeymoon trip: “Dad…did you leave the trailer on the side of the road?” They were passing by just at that time and saw it. We explained what had happened, and they circled back to stay with the trailer while we got the new tire, then we went back, put the new tire on, and went to get something to eat together. Though it’s a bit unconventional to go out to eat with one’s parents on one’s honeymoon, there were so many evidences on God’s hand at work in this situation: if we had rented a generic trailer, Jason would not have recognized it as the one we had and wouldn’t have called about it; if they hadn’t been passing that way at that time, they wouldn’t have seen it; if we had been even a few minutes later, we wouldn’t have gotten into Wal-Mart, and as our other calls hadn’t led to any other options, we would have had to spend the night in town and leave the trailer out on the Interstate all night.

There have been so many other situations…wrecks narrowly averted, running late and coming upon the scene of an accident that might have been mine if I’d been on time, financial needs met right at the needed time, finding something that was lost after earnest prayer about it, praying for wisdom and receiving it, a word of encouragement at just the right moment, something from the Word that was just exactly what I needed for the day. I am so thankful for His loving, intimate, wonderful care!!

 Help me, O Lord my God: O save me according to thy mercy:
That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou, Lord, hast done it.
Psalm 109:26-27

Odds and ends

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  • I had a thoroughly lovely Mother’s Day. I’ll probably wait to say more about it on the Friday’s Fave Five post so as not to repeat myself. I’m so thankful for all my family does to honor me on that day.
  • With all the busyness of the last few weeks and the weekend to come, and feeling a little tired and brain dead Saturday and Monday, I indulged myself by watching North and South on Netflix. I was dismayed at first that it was a four-hour series broken up into 1-hour segments: I had thought it was a 2 hour or so movie. But it would’ve left out a lot to condense it down to 2 hours, and the format did help to watch it in pieces. I had listened to the audiobook version of the book earlier this year and really enjoyed it. There were some changes in the film, some very unnecessary (there was no scene in the book with a worker smoking in the mill and Mr. Thornton beating him — they didn’t really need to toss that in to provide more differences of opinion and feeling between him and Margaret. I don’t think Mr. Thornton was described as handsome in the book. Their end meeting wasn’t happenstance at a train station, etc.), but overall I enjoyed it quite a bit. I really liked the actor who played Higgins — he had a kind face and a twinkle in his eyes (except when he was angry over the strike situation).
  • I had also checked out the DVD of Ivanhoe from the library a few weeks ago, which I had wanted to see after listening to it on audiobook. It was condensed to less than two hours, and needed condensation, but of course much was changed in it as well. It was okay. While looking for this old film version (with Elizabeth Taylor as Rebecca), I saw this one with Anthony Andrews. I had caught just a part of this one on TV once, and I loved Andrews as The Scarlet Pimpernel, so I’m going to have to see if Netflix or the library has this one.
  • This is Jesse’s last week of high school. In thinking about all the “lasts” of this year — not only a son graduating, but the last of my kids to do so — one that hadn’t occurred to me was making the last school lunch. That’ll be Thursday. Sniff….
  • I have my yearly physical coming up in a few weeks and had the lab work for it done last week. I got the results last Friday. My thyroid stuff is low, my “good” cholesterol is low, but my triglycerides, overall cholesterol, and”bad” cholesterol are all high as well as my fasting blood sugar, the first time that’s been the case since I had gestational diabetes with my second pregnancy (but something I’ve been fearing since my mom developed Type II diabetes.) None of them are real high, and the sugar is not in diabetic range (116 when it’s supposed to be around 100), but I’m sure I’ll be getting a good talking-to at my next visit and will have to make some changes.
  • I’ve been reading over at Do Not Depart for the last few months since my blog friend Lisa writes there some times and refers to it often. They’ve been sharing Ebenezer stories the last few weeks and are inviting readers to share theirs as well tomorrow. I’ve just been working on a post for that — what a blessing to recall God’s hand at work in my life! I invite you to see what’s it’s all about and consider sharing yours as well.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who mother

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A Mother’s Day Prayer

God our Creator, I pray:
For new mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility;
for expectant mothers, wondering and waiting;
for those who are tired, stressed, or depressed;
for those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family;
for those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty;
for those whose children have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities;
for those who raise children on their own;
for those who have lost a child;
for those who care for the children of others;
for those whose children have left home;
and for those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled.

Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender,
and that they may lead their children to know and to do what is good,
living not for themselves alone, but for God and for others.
Amen

Author Unknown

Reprinted from the archives.

On days like this I miss my own Mom, who passed away a few years ago, but I will always hold her memory dear in my heart.

Friday’s Fave Five

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Welcome to Friday’s Fave Five, hosted by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story, in which we can share five of our favorite things from the last week, a wonderful exercise in looking for and appreciating the good things God blesses us with. Click on the button to learn more, then go to Susanne’s to read others’ faves and link up your own.

It’s been another busy week! Next week will be as well, and then things should slow down a bit. Here are some of the highlights from this week:

1. No more early classes. Jesse had one MWF class this year that met at 7:30, and that’s done now.

2. A special dinner. We had been wanting to have our youth and music pastor and his family over almost ever since we moved here, and finally did last Friday. We had a great time.

3. A celebration. Our assistant pastors planned a covert celebration for our senior pastor’s 50th birthday and 10th year with the church (we later found out this year is also his 25th in the ministry.) It took place this last Sunday with lots of special things going on throughout the day. Somehow even with everyone else in the church knowing about it, including his wife, we managed to keep it from him and surprise him. Several men attired like Secret Service people with their dark suits, sunglasses, and ear pieces greeted him in the parking lot and escorted him to the auditorium, where someone played “Hail to the Chief” and we all clapped while he was escorted, open-mouthed, to the stage. There were some fun things — pictures of his childhood and his “80s hair” — and some poignant things as well, ending with an after-church fellowship that evening. A great day overall.

4. Finding a box I had been missing. There was one particular box I hadn’t been able to find since we moved, and it had some of the kids’ school portraits through the years as well as a cross stitch kit someone had given me. I’d been wanting to work on the cross stitch, but I especially wanted those pictures since I want to work on a scrapbook for Jesse’s graduation. I was pleased to find the box this week (in my sewing room — that’s the one room that’s still not quite set up yet. Maybe this summer!)

5. A timely arrival. We ordered something online Tuesday (more on what it is next week…), and the confirmation e-mail said it would get here Monday. That was bad, because we needed it Friday, and I had even paid a little extra for expedited shipping. We decided if it wasn’t here Friday morning we’d have to run around town looking for an alternative that afternoon. I prayed it might get here Thursday just so we’d know it was taken care of — and I was astonished when it did! “Oh me of little faith.” It was very nice to have that taken care of and not to have to think about what to do about it if it didn’t get here in time.

Have a great weekend!

(By the way, WordPress has changed its default settings so that the option to get notifications of further comments on this post by e-mail is automatically clicked, and you have to “unclick” it if you don’t want e-mails. I apologize: I can’t reset it from my end. I have complained about it to the powers that be. Also, some WP users may have to “log in” to comment. 😦 I hope WP gets back to its former user-friendliness soon.)

Tension

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A news item on this radio this morning about opposing viewpoints sparked a memory.

Some years ago, in  different town and church from where we are now, my husband had spoken to the pastor privately about what we sensed as a subtle shift. It wasn’t a major problem at that point, but if it continued it would lead to a major drift from the church’s position as it was when we had first come. The pastor graciously heard him, and at some point made the comment that the church needed the more conservative members to keep it from going too far and the more adventurous members to keep it from being stuck in the status quo.

I hadn’t thought about that before, but the idea came up again in a series at the same church on spiritual gifts. Everything I had ever read or any little “test” I had taken before all concentrated on you and finding out what your gifts are, but this particular study went further and studied the issue from various angles. One angle was the potential clash between people with various gifts.

There is a certain tension between opposing viewpoints: those who want change vs. those who want sameness; those whose natural stance is “Let’s do it now!” vs. those who who say, “Let’s think about it first.” This tension between opposing viewpoints, personalities, and gifts can exist in government, families, churches, clubs, any organization of more than one person.

But it’s not all bad. It keeps us in balance. It helps us consider other sides of issues, other consequences to actions. It helps expose our own weaknesses.

Years ago when a very big, important issue came up for a church vote, and everyone voted “yes” with no discussion, the pastor was concerned that people hadn’t really taken time to consider the issue. He would rather have the discussion out then rather than later on after action had been taken. He wanted unity, yes, but not “yes men” who do whatever the leadership thinks without thinking on their own. That can backfire: a dear pastor friend was voted out for “running the church into debt” when of course he had not done so singlehandedly. His church had voted every step of the way to all the projects being voted on, yet when crunch time came they blamed the leader. Most good leaders would much rather have the discussions, questions, doubts, etc., out on the table and have an opportunity to work them out ahead of time and then approach the action with unity, than to have everyone seem to be in unity at first and then fragment afterward.

In the area of spiritual gifts, those with the gift of mercy might be moved with compassion and immediately want to help in a certain situation while others with the gift of discernment want to hold back and check into the situation a little more thoroughly first. They keep each other in balance. That’s one of many reasons a church is made up of people with varying gifts working together as a whole. If a church’s members all had the gift of mercy, it would likely go bankrupt soon as it ran out of funds. If a church’s members all had the gift of evangelism, it would have a lot of new members but not much depth if there were none gifted to teach. Yet those different giftings and emphases can cause tension between them.

I’m thinking that the tension between two opposing forces might be the essence of balance (if my physics major husband were here, I would ask him). Think of a plane flying: there is the pull of gravity to keep it from flying off into space, but the tension of speed, wind, and air currents to enable it to fly. There is tension in a sewing machine to enable the threads from top and bottom to secure the fabric between: a tension set too tight or too loose causes problems. There is a certain tension in gears and machinery.

Within Christendom, we’re called to love those with an opposing viewpoints (I’m talking here about Christians with the same bedrock doctrinal truths who might differ in other ways, not taking a soft stance on false doctrine, though of course we’re to love folks in that situation, too, yet  love God’s truth enough to defend it), to remember they belong to the same God and the same family we do and to remember that we need each other and that God made us each with all our differences. We can, or should be able to, air differences of opinion without the heat and hatefulness the world displays. When the tension is set the right way, we keep each other in balance.

The real problem with Facebook

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From time to time I see articles or blog posts saying there is a downside to Facebook in that it can make us depressed or at least miserable. Why? Because everyone’s life supposedly seems happier than ours.

I don’t know about anyone else’s Facebook experience, but mine is a wide variety, People post funny observations, family news, interesting quotes or links to articles they’ve found valuable. Some use it to vent frustrations. Some post hymns or Scripture or prayer requests: one friend who was in the hospital Easter day said the songs, quotes, and Scriptures everyone shared were a help to her as she missed being in church that day.

But even if it were true that people felt miserable because everyone else on Facebook had more or better “stuff,” more friends, seemed happier, got more comments or “likes,” may I humbly suggest that the problem isn’t Facebook? The problem is in our own hearts.

The Bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice. If someone got a new job or house or whatever, good for them!

Same with someone who seems to have more friends. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). If you want more friends, take the initiative and be friendly to others. And I don’t say that lightly: I’ve always been shy and introverted and had a hard time initiating friendships. But though it is hard, it is not impossible. Sometimes we have to extend ourselves beyond our comfort zones.

If people only seem to post “happy thoughts,” know that they do have their down times as well as anyone else. Be glad, in fact, that they don’t post every little mundane thing. I had one FB friend who did that and I had to adjust which of her posts I saw because I was being flooded with her plans for the day, itinerary, what she was making for dinner, etc., etc., several times a day.

Whatever gifts, talents, or possessions we have, someone else is always going to have more or better. The Bible does warn us about envy, calling it a mark of carnality. It also warns us about comparing ourselves with each other.

These reactions aren’t new or exclusive to Facebook, of course. Facebook is just a microcosm of how people think and react. One of my closest early married friends used to constantly compare herself unfavorably to others. She thought her home, her clothes, everything, in her eyes, was less nice than other people’s. That’s not really humility. It can be a symptom of discontentment. I don’t know what it was in her case, but I am fairly sure that no one else looked on her that way. She was generally thought of as a sweet, warm, creative person. We were all in a state of “early-married poverty,” as I call it, and none of us had  heaps of nice things. But even if one of us had…that’s between them and the Lord. If He allowed them those things, then they’re stewards of them. And even if other people do actually flaunt what they have, that’s a problem in their hearts and shouldn’t be a problem in ours.

Besides feeling that other people have more or nicer things, sometimes we feel other people accomplish so much more than we do. I had trouble with that with another close early-married friend. We were both married with a child or two. But she worked part-time, was active in various church ministries, sewed for her family and home, her house was not only clean every time I was there but nicely decorated. Meanwhile I felt like I was fighting to keep my ahead above water. Often I asked myself how she did it and why I couldn’t. Once her family had ours over for dinner. I don’t know if she sat still more than five minutes at a time: she was constantly up and down, getting something, doing something with the children, doing a little here or there. I thought, if that’s what it takes to get as much done as she does, not only would I never be in her league, but I didn’t want to be. Honestly, as a guest I would much rather have had her sit down and visit with me: it was not a very restful visit to have the hostess constantly on the move. I’m not condemning her: I just realized we were very different personalities, and that was okay. No one was comparing me to her or thinking I should be like her except me, and I learned to stop it. 🙂 There was much I could learn from her, but I didn’t need to try to be just like her or beat myself up because I wasn’t.

Another time when I learned that a man who had been a younger college classmate a couple of decades ago was about to become a college president, at first all I could think was, “Wow. A college president, and he’s younger than I am. So what have I been doing with my life?” Well, I was raising children, keeping my home, ministering in various ways. Our callings were different from each other, neither necessarily better than the other in themselves.

If we’re doing what God wants us to do, we don’t need to feel inferior to anyone else, and we need to stop being preoccupied with comparing ourselves to others. If someone else accomplishes more because they’re more diligent, better managers of their time and efforts., etc., we can learn from them and be inspired  to make whatever changes we need to, but we don’t need to sit in a corner feeling sorry for ourselves.

If Facebook truly makes someone miserable for these reasons, perhaps it would be best to give it up. But a better approach might be to go to it without comparing ourselves and our status to anyone, seeking to be a blessing to others, grateful for and content with the gifts and life God has given.