Category Archives: Christian Life

The Dangers of Success

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There are scores of books, articles, blog posts, podcasts, and sermons about dealing with trials and suffering. And that’s good, because we need them.

But I don’t know that I have ever seen any material about the dangers of success.

What danger can there be in success? Especially success that we’ve prayed and trusted God for?

One potential danger of success is forgetting who gave us that success. God had warned Israel about forgetting Him once they got settled in their land.

Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. And if you forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. Like the nations that the Lord makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God (Deuteronomy 8:11-20).

The New Testament echoes this truth: “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7).

Another danger of success is pride. Perhaps forgetfulness leads to pride. Uzziah started out as a good king of Judah who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father Amaziah had done. He set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper” (2 Chronicles 26:4-5). The Bible goes on to tell of Uzziah’s accomplishments, feats, and even inventions. Then we read this sobering statement: “He was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction” (2 Chronicles 26:15-16).

Saul, Israel’s first king, fell into the same pattern. When he was chosen king, he hid among the baggage and people had to look for him (1 Samuel 10:17-24). He saw himself as “little in his own eyes” (1 Samuel 15:17). But then he became too concerned with how the people regarded him.

“One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (Proverbs 29:23).

Both of these kings went from pride to presumption. They stepped into duties God had given priests, not kings. God then rejected Saul as king (1 Samuel 13:8-15) and turned Uzziah into a leper (2 Chronicles 26:16-23).

Presumption led to further disobedience (1 Samuel 15). Saul’s decline is one of the saddest stories in history. He became jealous, irrational, untruthful, and even murderous. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

It’s an odd thing, isn’t it, to know God’s help, to know success was only available because God provided it, and then to be proud because of it–proud not of God, but of self, as if we did anything all by ourselves. Yet it happens all too easily.

Rosalind Goforth, one of my heroes for many reasons, writes in Climbing: Memories of a Missionary’s Wife of marvelous answers to prayer. Often she was supposed to speak to a group of women, yet her schedule was so full with caring for her children, homemaking, and regular ministry work that she couldn’t make time to study and prepare as she would like to. She writes of jotting down notes or studying her Bible while nursing a baby, or crying out to God in prayer before a speaking engagement and then being given a perfect outline of a message.

Sadly and humbly, I must confess that many, many times when I cried out to the Lord for power in speaking and evident power was given, I had not left the platform before the thought would come, “I have done well today.” Then would come the cry for forgiveness (pp 112-113).

I can confess to similar experiences.

How can we counter that tendency to exalt self instead of God?

My dear mother-in-law once said she had such a tendency toward spiritual pride that she withdrew from any kind of ministry in front of people. I understand her heart. But if we all did that, how would any of us minister to anyone else? We can’t do everything anonymously, though there are times to meet people’s needs “behind the scenes.” We’re not supposed to hide our lights under bushels.

Here are a few actions that help me:

Remember. Remember the ways God has led us along, His “Ebenezers” to us. Remember His Word; be in it regularly to keep our minds saturated with God’s perspective.. Remind ourselves that without Him we can do nothing  (John 15:4-5), that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (1 Corinthians 12:8-10).

Humble ourselves. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Humbling is not the same thing as belittling. “There’s no need to shrink yourself down or deflate your gifts. That’s not humility any more than inflating your importance. Take an honest look at who you are and what you’ve been given” (Influence: Building a Platform That Elevates Jesus (Not Me) by Kate Motaung and Shannon Popkin). Martin Luther said, “God created the world out of nothing, and so long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us” (quoted in Influence, p. 65).

Acknowledge our dependence on God. I try to pray most mornings that God would fill me with the fruit of His Spirit as a way to remind myself I can’t manufacture a right spirit on my own.

Focus on ministering as unto the Lord. “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24).

Focus on others. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride [I love the KJV word vainglory here], but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Jesus said that whoever would be great must serve others, and even He did not come to be ministered to, but to minister (Mark 10:42-45).

Be grateful. Thanking God for His provision and enabling helps remind us that everything came from Him.

Look to Jesus: We become more like Him by beholding Him.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).

Kevin DeYoung and Trevin Wax discuss a modern-day dilemma along these lines: book publishers expect authors to promote their own books, to build a “platform.” Yet how can one do that without being prideful? I appreciate their thoughts here, especially this from Trevin:

But I’m still conflicted about blogging about my book. Maybe that’s where I need to be. Maybe this is the Spirit’s method of rooting out sinful motivations and spurring me on to holiness.

Maybe God is saying, “I don’t ever want you to be totally comfortable with self-promotion, even if some promotion will result in more people buying a book that is beneficial to the church.” Maybe God wants me to remember that my motives are never completely pure, and even my best intentions are tainted with sin.

That tension between promoting the message God gave us and yet wanting to be careful not to exalt or promote self can help keep us balanced.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 sums it up well: “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other.” Both success and failure have their purposes. May we keep our eyes on Him in either case.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

We Don’t Know What to Do

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A few years ago, I compiled a list of prayers in the Bible that I sometimes use in my own prayers.

It’s perfectly fine to just speak to our Father from our hearts. We don’t have to use certain words like an incantation in order for Him to hear us.

But prayers in the Bible help give our prayers more guidance and depth. It’s great to pray for God to bless someone and give them a good day. However, praying that they “may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9) or “that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith” (Ephesians 3:16-17a) just goes so much further.

Plus, when we pray Scriptural prayers, or turn a passage of Scripture into prayer, we can know we’re praying according to God’s will.

Often we have some idea how to pray.

When someone is sick, we pray for healing, if it is God’s will, and for grace and help for everyone involved. We pray for wisdom for the doctors, freedom from pain, good reports from medical tests.

When we’re burdened for loved ones who don’t know the Lord, we pray that “the eyes of [their] hearts” would be “enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18), that God would draw them to Himself as only He can (John 6:44), that God would send someone to talk to them and live before them a good testimony (Matthew 9:37-38), that their hearts would be “good ground” (Matthew 13:1-23), that the Holy Spirit would reveal truth to them (John 16:13).

If someone loses a job or has a specific need, we pray for God to supply, while asking Him if there is anything He would have us do (James 2:15-16).

Sometimes, however, we just don’t know how to pray, except “Your will be done.” And that’s fine. It’s not like God needs our ideas or suggestions.

In those times, Jehoshaphat’s prayer in 2 Chronicles 20 is one I lean on heavily.

Jehoshaphat was king of Judah when he was told a “great multitude” from several nations was coming against him. “Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah assembled to seek help from the Lord; from all the cities of Judah they came to seek the Lord” (verses 3-4).

Jehoshaphat reminded himself who his God was (verse 6). He reminded himself of God’s promises to Israel about their land and the fact that they belonged to Him (verses 7-10). He told God the problem (verses 10-11). Then he confessed, in one of my favorite Bible verses, “we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (verse 12).

There are things in this world too big for me. In some national and world-wide issues, I have no idea the best course of action. Sometimes I don’t even know what’s true amid conflicting news reports. Sometimes I have a strong opinion about what should happen, but I am personally powerless to do anything about it.

Besides not being able to affect change on a large scale, I can’t change anyone’s heart. I can pray for them as mentioned above. I can speak or try to influence. But would that be useful or would I be “nagging?” Would I help or push them farther away?

Sometimes we have a major decision ahead of us. I can see pros and cons of each choice.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are on Him.

I’m powerless, but He is not. He sees the big picture. He knows what’s best when. I can rejoice that He is big enough and wise enough to know what’s best and and powerful enough to accomplish it. I can trust Him to guide me and work through me. Or, like in Judah’s plight in 1 Chronicles 20, He may have me do nothing but watch Him work.

Corrie ten Boom once said, “The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love.”

Prayer makes a difference—sometimes in us, sometimes in our circumstances, sometimes both. Even when we’re not sure how to pray, we can take our requests and burdens to the Lord.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:26-27).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

How Well Do We Know Him?

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Have you ever had anyone give you a gift that showed they didn’t know you very well at all?

Or introduce you to someone else with phrasing that made you wonder who they were talking about?

I think one of the deepest desires of our hearts is to be known for who we truly are. Though we may have several acquaintances and friends, our best friends are probably the ones who “get” us the most.

Getting to know each other requires effort. Usually there is some kind of instant connection or like interests that draw two people together. But really getting to know each other comes with years of talking, listening, and being together.

Even then, those kinds of friendships don’t mean we’ll always understand each other or will never learn anything new about each other.

And if being truly known is one of our deepest desires, one of our deepest frustrations is being misrepresented or misunderstood. In one town we lived in, my husband was involved in local politics and had some brief interactions with the local press. It was amazing how often the media got details wrong or inferred meaning that was not implied.

God is the one who knows us best and still loves us. He knows exactly what we need when we need it. He made us, He planned for us from before the foundation of the world. He knows our frame, he knows our deepest thoughts.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether (Psalm 139:1-4).

Have you ever had an answer to prayer that was so exquisitely detailed and perfectly met your needs that you knew it could only have come from God? Or have you ever been burdened about something, opened your Bible for the day’s reading, and found the answer to the very thing you were thinking about before? Few things make me feel so known and loved by God.

But how well do we know Him?

Wrong views of God abound in the world. As a child, I had a mental picture of Him as a scowling deity peering over a thundercloud with lightning bolts in His hand, just ready to zap me when I did wrong. Others picture a kindly, indulgent grandfather who will always smile, pat them on the head, and let them get away with anything.

J. I. Packer said in his classic book, Knowing God:

How often do we hear this sort of thing: “I like to think of God as the great Architect (or Mathematician or Artist).” “I don’t think of God as a Judge; I like to think of him simply as a Father.” We know from experience how often remarks of this kind serve as the prelude to a denial of something that the Bible tells us about God. It needs to be said with the greatest possible emphasis that those who hold themselves free to think of God as they like are breaking the second commandment. . . .

All speculative theology, which rests on philosophical reasoning rather than biblical revelation, is at fault here. Paul tells us where this sort of theology ends: “The world by wisdom knew not God” (1 Cor 1:21 KJV). To follow the imagination of one’s heart in the realm of theology is the way to remain ignorant of God, and to become an idol-worshipper, the idol in this case being a false mental image of God, made by one’s own speculation and imagination (pp. 47-48).

The Bible says there are those who “have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge” (Romans 10:2) and who “profess to know God, but they deny him by their works” (Titus 1:16). Some who think they know Him and even call Him Lord will be surprised one day when He says, “I never knew you; depart from me” (Matthew 7:21-23).

How can we be sure we know Him, and know Him aright? Not only does the welfare of our souls depend on knowing God for who He truly is, but so does the welfare of those we speak and write to and influence.

Our spiritual life begins with coming to know Him. Jesus said to His Father in John 17:3: “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” When we understand that we’re sinners, deserving of God’s wrath, but He loved us and died to save us from that wrath, and we turn to Him in repentance and faith, we begin to know Him. (For more information, see How to Know God.)

Paul said in Philippians 3:8-11

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead (emphasis mine).

First, Paul said that knowing Christ was worth the loss of everything else. Then, though Paul already knew God, he wanted to know Him more, to know Him better. Bible Study Tools’ commentary on this verse says:

This power and virtue the apostle had had an experience of, yet he wanted to feel more of it, in exciting the graces of the spirit to a lively exercise, in raising his affections, and setting them on things above, and in engaging him to seek after them, and set light by things on earth, and in causing him to walk in newness of life, in likeness or imitation of Christ’s resurrection, to all which that strongly animates and encourages.

Just as it takes time to know other people, it takes time to know God. Though He already knows all about us, He wants us to talk to Him in prayer. He has revealed Himself through nature, but He has revealed Himself most clearly in Christ and in His Word.

1 Samuel 3:21 says, “The Lord revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the Lord.” God reveals Himself to us the same way. Interestingly, verse 1 of that chapter says “the word of the Lord was rare in those days.” Then comes the incident where Samuel thinks Eli is calling to him, until Eli finally realizes it’s the Lord who is calling Samuel. Eli instructs Samuel to respond, “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.”

Paul says in the Philippians 3 passage referred to above “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection”—we love that part— “and may share his sufferings.” We don’t like that last part so much. Yet when we endure sufferings by seeking Him in His Word and prayer, we come to know Him in ways that we couldn’t otherwise.

There will always be more we can know about God. 1 Corinthians 13 says we “know in part” (verse 9), “we see in a mirror dimly” (verse 12). But someday we’ll see Him “face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known” (verse 12).

But God has enabled us to know Him here and to continue to know Him better and more fully until we see Him.

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6).

That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18a).

Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. (Ephesians 4:13-14).

So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God (Colossians 1:10).

May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire (2 Peter 1:2-4).

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18)

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life (1 John 5:20).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

What Can We Know For Sure?

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One philosophy popular in the last several years espouses that there is no absolute truth.

This works out conveniently for those who want to follow nontraditional courses. If there are no absolute, inarguable truths, then everyone can define their own truth.

But what happens when individual truths differ, or even clash with each other?

Just spend a little time on social media, and you’ll see. Instead of allowing everyone to have his or her own truth, society “cancels” anyone whose “truth” falls outside current societal values.

This philosophy has even crept into the church, sounding something like this: none of us is God, after all, and none of us knows everything perfectly. Therefore, we can’t be too dogmatic about anything.

It’s true, none of us is God. And it’s true none of us has perfect knowledge of all things. We’ll always be learning, growing, adjusting our philosophy to Bible truth as we understand it.

It’s wise to search out answers to questions. We might (and probably will) end up at the point that God is bigger than we are, and we can’t understand everything He does. But that shouldn’t be the smack-down, conversation-stopping answer to questions. There are many reasons young people have left the faith of their upbringing, but I think one factor is that the church has sometimes treated questions themselves as rebellion instead of invitations to help the person search out answers about the faith

But though all these caveats are true, it does not therefore follow that there’s nothing we can know for sure spiritually. There are some questions theologians will argue over til kingdom come, but there are core truths God has laid out in His Word.

Here are just a few:

There is a Creator.

“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made” Romans 1:19-20). Psalm 19:1-3 tells us: “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard.”

God is the Lord

Isaiah 45:6 says, “that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the LORD, and there is no other.” The phrase “that you may know that I am the Lord” appears about 70 times in Ezekiel and several times through the Bible in other places.

I used to sometimes see the saying, “Coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.” And I’d smile and shake my head, because God is not in the business of remaining anonymous. He wants people to see and know Him.

Jesus forgives sin

Jesus said he healed a paralyzed man “that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” (Matthew 9:1-8; Mark 2:1-12; Luke 5:17-26).

Jesus is God

When Jesus forgave the paralytic man’s sin, mentioned above, The Pharisees answered, “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” They got the point, even if they rejected it.

Jesus told men who were going to try to stone Him, “If I am not doing the works of my Father, then do not believe me; but if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father” (John 10:37-38).

You can know you have eternal life

I’ve known of people who felt it was arrogant to claim salvation, or at least to claim assurance of going to heaven. But there is no arrogance involved, because it’s “by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

John wrote, “Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life” (1 John 5:12-13).

A few decades earlier, John wrote, “Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name” (John 20:30-31). See other claims Christ made about Himself here.)

Paul prayed that the “eyes of your hearts” would be “enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints” (Ephesians 1:8).

God’s Power

The rest of Paul’s prayer “that you may know” in Ephesians 1, mentioned above, is “what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:19-20). God’s power raised Christ from the dead and set Him “far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all” (verses 21-23). Paul prays we might know the greatness of that power. A God who can do that can take care of us as well.

God loves us.

John wrote in 1 John 4:15-16, “If anyone confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” Paul prayed that we might “know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:19) (I wrote more about knowing God’s love for us here.)

We can know God.

Jesus said, “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3).

David told his son, “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

Israel prayed, “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord” (Hosea 6:3a).

How to live for God

Peter tells us, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires (2 Peter 1:3-4).

These are just a few of the things we can know with certainty. These are all verses which mention “know” or “knowledge” in some way. Yet the whole Bible is given that we may know God and know certain things about Him: His sovereignty, the truth and reliability of His Word, His anger against sin, His protection of His own, and so much more.

I’ve mentioned before that one former pastor said that the Bible is “divinely brief.” A God whose thoughts are more than we can number picked out these specific things He wanted us to know about Him and His world and will. It behooves us to apply our lives to His Word and then apply His Word to our lives.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Does He Still Love Me?

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Before I became a Christian, God’s law showed me I needed a Savior. I had fallen far short of God’s requirements. But my sins also made me afraid to face Him. It was God’s love that melted me and drew me.

God loved us before we knew Him: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). While we were yet sinners, Romans 5:8 says, Christ died for us. He didn’t wait until we had our act together to show love to us or to die for us. Hosea 11:4 says God drew His own with “cords of kindness, with the bands of love.” “In love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back” (Isaiah 38:17). When the man we know as the “rich young ruler” came to Jesus, naively claiming he had kept all the commandments, “Jesus, looking at him, loved him” (Mark 10:21). Then Jesus, in love, pointed out to the young man his main flaw. The young man walked away sorrowing, unwilling to give up his idol. But my hope is that he eventually did come to faith in Christ.

Does God still love me when I fail? After I became a Christian, when I failed yet again, when I allowed something back in my life that I had sworn I was done with, I was afraid to face Him. I feared punishment like sudden lightning. I dreaded profoundly disappointing Him.

Yet He loved me still. I had to learn that the love that saved me would also keep me and that sanctification (growing more Christlike) was a lifelong endeavor.

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust (Psalm 103:8-14).

Does this catastrophe mean God doesn’t love me? When various trials and testings came into my life, I wondered what I had done wrong to merit them. I did not yet know that God has many reasons for suffering, that He allows them to do work in our lives that can’t be accomplished in other ways. As Joni Eareckson Tada so often says, “God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves.”

Does God really want the best for me? Sometimes I’d hear people say that God works everything out for our good and His glory (probably based on Romans 8:28). Occasionally I would think, “His glory, yes. But our good?” Scripture shows over and over again God going to extreme measures to show His love for His wayward people. Even though it might not feel like it in the moment, yes, He works everything together for our good.

Maybe this too-frequent tendency to forget or doubt God’s love is one reason why Paul prayed this for the Ephesians:

“. . . that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19), emphasis mine).

Paul follows up this stunning prayer with the statement that God is “able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us” (verse 20). We tend to pull this verse out when we have Really Big Prayer Requests to reassure ourselves that God is able to answer them. But Paul applied it to his prayer in verses 14-19.

“To know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.” How can we know something that surpasses knowledge, that is beyond knowing fully?

One commentary at the bottom of the Bible Hub page on this verse says it partly means that we “may always go on from faith to faith, from knowledge to knowledge, and yet find new depths still to be fathomed.” Another says, “As the breeze fills the sails and bears forward the ship, so the love of Christ fills the soul and moves it in the direction of God’s will. But in its fullness it passeth knowledge; it is infinite, not to be grasped by mortal man, and therefore always presenting new fields to be explored, new depths to be fathomed.”

God’s goodness (another subject for another time) and God’s love are the two guardrail truths that keep me steady when things happen that I can’t understand. God will always do right, and His love for us is unshakeable.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39).

When we become fully assured of God’s love, we can rest in Him and quiet our fears.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

In addition to these verses, hymns grounded in Biblical truth are rich reminders and assurances of God’s love. Here are a few of my favorites, with a sample stanza or two of each:

From “Jesus, I Am Resting, resting” by Jean Sophia Pigott:

Oh, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea:
Oh, how marvelous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart,
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings,
Thine is love indeed.

From “I Am His and He Is Mine” by George Robinson, 1876:

Loved with everlasting love,
Led by grace that love to know;
Gracious Spirit from above,
Thou hast taught me it is so!
Oh, this full and perfect peace!
Oh, this transport all divine!
In a love which cannot cease,
I am His, and He is mine;
In a love which cannot cease,
I am His, and He is mine.

From “O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go” by George Matheson, 1882:

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee.
I give thee back the life I owe,
that in thine ocean depths its flow
may richer, fuller be.

From “The Love of God” by Frederick Martin Lehman:

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell.
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell.
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

From “Here Is Love” by William Reese:

On the mount of crucifixion
fountains opened deep and wide;
through the floodgates of God’s mercy
flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love, like mighty rivers,
poured incessant from above,
and heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
kissed a guilty world in love.

From “Depth of Mercy” by Charles Wesley (We only hear a few verses of this song, when we hear it at all, and not always the same ones. This appears to have all the stanzas.)

Depth of mercy! Can there be
Mercy still reserved for me?
Can my God His wrath forbear,
Me, the chief of sinners, spare?

I have long withstood His grace,
Long provoked Him to His face,
Would not hearken to His calls,
Grieved Him by a thousand falls.

Jesus speaks, and pleads His blood!
He disarms the wrath of God;
Now my Father’s mercies move,
Justice lingers into love.

There for me the Savior stands,
Shows His wounds and spreads His hands.
God is love! I know, I feel;
Jesus weeps and loves me still.

These verses and hymns are just small samples of the vast riches of a study of God’s love. What verses or hymns especially speak to you of God’s love?

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Don’t Let Truth Become Cliche

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People who write about writing tell us to avoid cliches. I read one article that advised tucking a few cliches into dialogue, if you’re writing fiction, so the conversations sound normal and familiar. Generally, though, cliches are considered trite and unoriginal. There’s nothing modern readers and publishers like so much as an original idea or a twist on an old one.

While I agree with all of the above, one day it dawned on me that the problem with cliches are not the phrases themselves. The problem is us. Most of the definitions and articles I looked up said that a phrase became a cliche through overuse. Why was the phrase overused? Because it aptly or creatively expressed something people identified with. But people heard it so much, they got tired of it. Then the phrase lost its luster, if not its meaning. The phrase still meant what it always did, but we don’t hear it the same any more. We gloss over it or even get irritated by it.

Most of us use cliches thoughtlessly out of habit—thus the admonition to watch for and eliminate them from our writing and speech. But some cliches are used to stop a conversation, according to Wikipedia. For instance, if you’re telling someone your troubles, and they respond, “That’s just the way the cookie crumbles” or “Into each life some rain must fall” (though the latter is from a poem), they’re not really interested in hearing you.

It’s possible to let truth become cliche spiritually as well, isn’t it?

In the church I attended in my teens and college years, we sang “Victory in Jesus” quite a lot. In another church my husband and I attended several years ago, a frequent congregational song was “Til the Storm Passes By.” In another place, it seemed like I heard “Be Thou My Vision” almost every week. For a while, I almost cringed when I heard these songs announced or heard their opening notes.

But was there anything wrong with the songs? No, they are all wonderful expressions of Biblical truth. The fact that they seemed overused was a problem in my own heart.

What about Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Granted, sometimes people use this verse like a band-aid on cancer. They mean well, but they want to “fix” the problem instead of weeping with those who weep, and then the verse becomes a conversation-stopper. But does the frequency with which we hear this verse null its meaning and effectiveness? It shouldn’t.

If someone quotes or refers to Psalm 23, should I glibly think, “Shepherd, sheep, got it,” and move on?

When Israel complained about eating manna, honestly, I can identify with them. But God faulted them for grumbling and murmuring. They forgot the miracle of God’s provision in the wilderness—a wilderness they were wandering in due to their own sin and failure.

In Malachi, Israel was offering to the Lord animals that wouldn’t even be fit for a governor (1:8), much less for a sacrifice for God. Then the people complained, “What a weariness this is” (1:13).

It’s good to be familiar with God’s Word. Throughout the Bible, God expects us to know Scripture enough to be able to think about it in our everyday lives. So if some parts of the Bible seem trite or overly familiar to us, the solution is not to scale back on our Bible reading.

What can we do then?

We can pray with the psalmist, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law” (Psalm 119:18). We can remember the incredible privilege it is that the Creator of the universe wants to speak to us. “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139:17). If God’s Word isn’t feeling so precious and wondrous lately, we can ask God to help us see it that way.

We can pray for revival. “Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?” (Psalm 85:6). “My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word!” (Psalm 119:25. Other translations say “quicken,” “revive, “preserve.”) Three times in Psalm 80, the writer asks God to “Turn us again, O God, and cause thy face to shine; and we shall be saved.”

We can ask God to search our hearts and lead us to repentance if need be. “For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite'” (Isaiah 57:15).

We can ask God to restore our delight in Him and His Word.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart (Psalm 40:8).

Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them (Psalm 111:2).

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

We can return to our first love. “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (Revelation 2:4-5). Maybe thinking back through our testimony, God’s dealings with us when we first knew Him, revisiting our “Ebenezers,” those times we saw evidence of God’s working in our lives, will stir up that first love.

Practically, maybe interrupting our regular scheduled Bible reading plan to read through some psalms or passages that have held special meaning for us in the past might help. So might reading the Bible in a different translation than you’re used to. Slowing down to focus on the words, maybe reading them out loud, can keep us from racing through a passage. A college professor years ago advised looking up the definitions of all the words in a verse, especially if the verse was familiar.

There was a young man in my youth group years ago who, whenever he was asked to pray, asked that we’d learn something new from the Bible that day. We’ll continually be learning new things from the Bible; we’ll never exhaust it in this life. But sometimes we need reminders of what we’ve heard and learned before. “Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. And I will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things” (2 Peter 1:12-15).

John Newton wrote a lovely hymn called “Waiting for Spring.” First he talks about God’s promise that the seasons will continue, so we have the assurance that “Winter and spring have each their use” and winter will give way to spring. He says, “Believers have their winters too.” “Though like dead trees awhile they seem,” the spiritual life God placed in them will cause them to bloom again. He closes with this prayer:

Dear LORD, afford our souls a spring,
Thou know’st our winter has been long;
Shine forth, and warm our hearts to sing,
And thy rich grace shall be our song.

May God shine in and warm our hearts and renew our love for Him and His Word.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Ways to Disagree Without Tearing Each Other Down

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You never replace the toilet paper roll.

Why do you always do it the way I asked you not to?

How many times do I have to ask you not to do that?

You must be stupid to think that way.

When humans mix together for any length of time, friction develops. Even the brightest friendships and most dewy-eyed romances experience conflicts after a while. We each have our own history, preferences, ways of doing and thinking things. It’s inevitable that we’ll clash over something.

On top of all that, the Bible says we’re all sinners. We all want our own way. As someone once said, we’re all the stars of our own movies.

While disagreement is inevitable, some ways of disagreeing harm the relationship. All the statements at the beginning of this post are belittling. Disagreeing in ways that tear each other down will cause anger, resentment, and pain. If not dealt with, those jabs can harm and build walls between people. They may even destroy relationships. Even if the participants remain friends or married, they’ve injured each other so many times that the warmth is gone and they just go through the motions.

So how do we handle disagreements in ways that aren’t harmful?

I’m no expert, but after 47 or so years of being a Christian and reading God’s word, 40+ years of marriage, and more than that of living and interacting with people, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to pass along. And though many of the illustrations I share pertain to marriage, most of these are true of any relationship.

No one is perfect. We know not to expect perfection, yet we get irritated at each other’s imperfections. I read that one man felt his wife wanted him to be a combination of Billy Graham, Dwayne Johnson, and Cary Grant*: a spiritual giant, a superb physical specimen, handsome, suave, and romantic all.the.time. The pressure was wearing on him. We have to manage our expectations and let each other just be human and imperfect. Elisabeth Elliot wrote:

My second husband once said that a wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy ( From Love Has a Price Tag).

Understand each other’s personality and needs. Introvert/extrovert, indoor person/outdoor person, serious/fun people and other combinations are bound to clash. Even if personalities aren’t exact opposites, they also aren’t going to be exactly the same all the time. Each personality has its strengths and weaknesses. Honest discussions help, explaining how you feel or how things affect you, without accusation or assumptions. Perhaps offer a trade-off: “I’d love to go with you to that event if I can have some quiet time afterward to decompress.”

Take time to understand the other person’s perspective. Once when I was taking items to donate to the thrift store, my husband asked me to be sure to get a receipt for tax purposes. I balked at first: I felt that using donations to lessen taxes was like getting credit for what we gave, and weren’t we supposed to give without the left hand knowing what the right was doing (Matthew 6:1-4)? He explained that he wasn’t seeking credit, but he didn’t want to give the government any more in taxes than he had to. He saw it getting the receipt for a tax deduction as wise stewardship. Similarly, years ago I was on an email subscriber list for transverse myelitis patients and caregivers (before Facebook and even before message boards). A new technology was in the news that involved unused embryos leftover from in vitro fertilization treatments. Though the technology gave great hope to those who were paralyzed, those of us who believed life began at conception couldn’t condone it. You can imagine the blowup such a conversation could devolve into. To everyone’s credit we had a civil discussion with most of us understanding the others’ position even though we didn’t agree.

Don’t assume motives or accuse. Especially avoid always and never–they just make the other person defensive. Instead of, “You always leave your socks on the floor. What do you think I am, your maid?” perhaps say, “When you leave things lying around, it makes me feel like you expect me to pick up after you, like you think of me as a maid.” He’s probably not thinking at all of leaving things for her to pick up. He just forgot or overlooked some things. He would have picked them up eventually. But explaining rather than accusing will help him see things from her perspective. And yes, sometimes the situation is reversed and she’s the messy one.

Remember the relationship. Once I heard a speaker describe a wife having just cleaned her floors when her husband and children walked in with muddy shoes. The speaker admonished women to remember the relationship in such a case rather than lashing out. I thought to myself, “What about their remembering the relationship and respecting her ruined work that will now have to be redone?” While it’s true both sides should remember the relationship, the point was that we shouldn’t pounce on each other with angry words. The relationship is more important than the ruined floors. That doesn’t mean we have to be passive or never share when things bug us. But we don’t have to tear each other down in the process. The group discussion I mentioned a couple of paragraphs above probably went so well because the participants had forged relationships over years of sharing struggles and encouraging each other.

Does everything have to be our way? The classic little tiffs like how to squeeze the toothpaste tube or which way the toilet paper goes can grate against the nerves. But, really, is it that big a deal? Maybe you can compromise: do the toothpaste his way and the TP your way. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard men fuss about their wives pulling the seat up in the car and forgetting to set it back for their husband’s longer legs, or wives complaining about husband’s leaving the toilet seat up. Seriously, why can’t everyone adjust these things as they need them without fussing about them?

Don’t bring up a litany of past offenses. Some translations of 1 Corinthians 13:5 say love “keeps no record of wrongs.” When we wrong each other, we need to discuss it, confess it, forgive each other, and leave it in the past rather than bringing the same things up again later.

Don’t let offenses build up. Those of us who have a hard time speaking up when something bothers us need to avoid letting things build until we explode. Some of us don’t explode, but we seethe with resentment which comes out in coldness. None of those responses is healthy. It’s hard sometimes to know when to bring something to someone’s attention or when to overlook a fault. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” But Jesus gave a detailed process for handling an offense in Matthew 18. Perhaps one aspect is whether the person committed an actual sin (robbing a bank, abusing someone) which needs to be reported and whether they just were inconsiderate or said something we took wrong. We can and should let some things go. We shouldn’t nag and nitpick about every little thing. But if we’re going to overlook something, we need to truly overlook it rather than just avoiding confrontation.

Don’t belittle or berate. I wince when I hear women talking to their husband as if they were talking to children–or even talking in ways they shouldn’t even use with children. Ephesians 5:33 tells wives to respect husbands—we can talk about things that bother us respectfully. “But what if he’s not acting in a manner worthy of respect?” I like to turn this around: that same passage tells husbands to love wives as they love themselves. Do we always act in a manner worthy of love? Would we want our husband to withhold love until we get our act together? This is a grace we can give each other: to treat each other with love and respect even when we don’t deserve it. Isn’t that how God loves us? All of us are to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

The Golden Rule says to treat others as we would like to be treated. How would we like to be treated if something is upset with us or angry about something we’ve done?

Be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). This is one of the most crucial things: listen first and wait to react. Many of us know and believe these other truths, but in the heat of the moment will say things we regret.

Attack the problem, not the person. Internet exchanges are notorious for devolving into name-calling, stereotyping, generalizing, and putting down. Yet we do that in everyday life as well. If in our thoughts or words we begin belittling or attacking the other person, we need to pull back and put our focus on the specific problem at hand.

Apologize when wrong. We’ve had relatives that could not seem to apologize after a blow-up. When they had cooled off, they might bring some little gift to try to smooth things over. We had to accept that was just their way and we weren’t likely to change them. But apologizing and asking for forgiveness are often the first steps in healing the breach. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

Forbear and forgive easily. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13). Ephesians 4:1-3 and 31-32 echo the same. One former pastor used to say forbearance (as the KJV puts “bearing with”) was just good old fashioned putting up with each other. I used to get stuck on forgiveness when I felt the other person didn’t deserve it. But the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 (told by Jesus in answer to Peter’s question about how many times he should forgive his brother) helped me have the right focus. The man was forgiven an insurmountable debt he owed, but then wouldn’t forgive another a much smaller amount. God has forgiven us an insurmountable debt of sin. Nothing that anyone else has done to us compares to our sin against Him. Can’t we, by His grace, forgive others their comparatively smaller sins against us?

Don’t grieve the Spirit. Ephesians 4 talks about the change that should be evident in our lives when we believe on Christ. Verse 29 says to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Verse 32, mentioned above, tells us to let bitterness, anger, and such be put away from us and  to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Sandwiched between those two is verse 30: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” We lift that verse out of context and generalize it. It does apply to many things. But originally it’s right here in the context of speech, anger, and bitterness. Have we realized that the way we disagree with each other can actually grieve the Spirit of God?

Look to Christ. “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:22-23).

Attempting these things shows us quickly that they are beyond us. We need help. Elisabeth Elliot said in A Lamp for My Feet:

How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God’s messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort across my path? Insofar as his treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience which only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he is God’s messenger. God sends him in order that he may send me running to God for help.

What have you found that helps you deal with conflict in non-destructive ways?

_______
*I don’t remember if those were the exact names, other than Billy Graham’s.

**Abuse is something we should never overlook and put up with. If you are being abused by a spouse, boyfriend, friend, or bully, please seek out a trusted person that you can confide in.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

An Old Poem For a New Year

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Last week, I listened to Elisabeth Elliot’s Gateway to Joy series about aging. In one episode titled Being Part of the Permanent, she quoted a stanza of a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier. The words so seized me, I had to stop and look them up.

The poem is titled My Birthday. Whittier was 64 when it was published, a significant age in the 1800s. Though all the poem is a touching look at an “older” birthday, the first few stanzas seem to me to apply also to a new year. We’re not so far from the beginning of this one, so perhaps they’ll speak to you as they did to me. The stanza Elisabeth quoted is at the end of what I am sharing here, but there are many more stanzas besides.

Beneath the moonlight and the snow
Lies dead my latest year;
The winter winds are wailing low
Its dirges in my ear.

I grieve not with the moaning wind
As if a loss befell;
Before me, even as behind,
God is, and all is well!

His light shines on me from above,
His low voice speaks within,–
The patience of immortal love
Outwearying mortal sin.

Not mindless of the growing years
Of care and loss and pain,
My eyes are wet with thankful tears
For blessings which remain.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

God Is Not Going to Slap the Cookie From Your Hand

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Many decades ago, during my college years, an administrator said that most religions of the world emphasized trying to earn God’s favor. Christianity, however, declared that it’s not by trying, but trusting—trusting the perfect, sinless Son of God who took our place on the cross we deserved.

These words were a relief to me. I had been familiar with Ephesians 2:8-9 for a few years by then: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” But I still had to reassure myself that salvation was not a matter of being “good enough,” but rather resting in His goodness.

I had to learn the same principle in my Christian walk. Even after salvation, my standing with God was not a matter of trying to be good enough. My works were not to earn His approval. I would never be more saved or more loved than I already was. My walk, or sanctification, or growth was as much a matter of faith as my salvation. It was still Christ’s righteousness, not mine, that counted before God. The whole book of Galatians was written to people who thought they had to obey certain rules in order to be right with God:

 Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith—just as Abraham “believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”?

It’s given immeasurable rest to my spirit to know I can always “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

The same college administrator made another statement at another time that has stayed with me all these years: “God’s not going to do your math homework for you.”

I don’t recall the context of that statement. Perhaps there were college students who thought prayer took the place of study. I can understand, as one who prayed my way through various lessons. I’m sure there were courses that were passed only through prayer. But they also required mental and physical effort.

Since then, I have amended that administrator’s statement about what God is not going to do:

God is not going to slap your fifth cookie out of your hand.

God is not going to turn off the TV when the sex scene starts.

God is not going to have devotions for you.

God is not going to make you take the opportunity you’re afraid of.

And so on.

I tend to be overly analytical. I’ve spent a great deal of thought on what’s God’s part and what’s our part in the Christian life. I can’t say I have it all figured out, even now. My tendency is to want to sort it out neatly in a series of points. God does this: 1, 2, and 3. And we do this: 1, 2, and 3. But I don’t think it works like that.

I do know this: As I said, our standing before God and His love for us are totally dependent on His grace, not our actions. My ups and downs, stumblings, faults, and failures don’t threaten His love for me or my salvation.

But Jesus did say, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15).

We don’t keep His commandments to earn His love or favor or salvation.

But we keep His commandment from His love and favor and salvation.

Because He loves us, saved us, changed us, we’re new creations.

We don’t put down the cookie because we’ll lose points with God if we eat it. But His Spirit dwells within us, and part of His fruit is self-control.

We don’t turn off the sex scene because we’ll go to hell if we don’t. We turn off the sex scene because we love a pure and holy God.

We don’t have time in prayer and the Bible because we’ll have a bad day if we don’t. We spend time with God because He is our Father, and we want to hear His great and precious thoughts.

We don’t take the scary opportunity because God won’t love us if we don’t, but because we want to do what He has called us to.

We can’t do anything without Him.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:4-5).

But as we walk through the day, seeking grace to help in time of need, asking for His strength, step by step, we yield to Him.

What do we do when we see a “Yield” traffic sign? We let the other drivers have the right of way.

What do we do when we yield to God? We let Him have His way. We acquiesce to His will.

The fact that our salvation is by grace through faith doesn’t mean there is no effort to the Christian life. Grace does not preclude obedience. Grace is not good just for forgiveness. Grace enables obedience.

The verses that seem to most clearly show our effort and His working:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10).

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:13).

So maybe there is no actual dividing line between God’s part and our part as we seek to live for Him. We don’t muster up the strength or will to serve Him on our own—we feed on His Word for our nourishment and strength and ask for His grace and help through prayer. Maybe it’s like the man with the withered hand or the paralyzed man in Scripture whom Jesus told to do the very things they could not do. With faith and obedience came enabling.

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Blameless?

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I can’t wear white until I get to heaven.

At least, I can’t wear white without frustration. I invariably spill food or find scuffs and stains from unknown sources that speckle my white garment.

I can wash white clothes, with varying degrees of success. But eventually they turn gray or yellowish.

So I prefer to wear clothes that make the occasional spill or scuff less noticeable.

Four times since December 30, my Daily Light on the Daily Path devotional book, compiled from Scripture by Samuel Bagster, has had readings about being blameless. Here are a few:

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God (Philippians 1:9-11).

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you, so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints (1 Thessalonians 3:12-13).

Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace (2 Peter 3:14).

Sometimes the word “blameless” caused me the same kind of frustration as a white shirt. My flesh fails daily. How can I ever be blameless?

Well, first of all, we’re not only forgiven, but also cleansed when we trust Christ for our salvation.

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (Ephesians 5:25-27).

And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him (Colossians 1:21-22)

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul lists some of the kinds of people who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Then he says in verse 11:

And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

The ESV Study Bible comments on this passage:

God has already declared the Corinthians Christians to be ‘righteous’ (see Rom. 5:1; 8:1, 33). God was able to do this because the ‘righteousness’ that belongs to Christ, due to his perfect life, has become ‘our . . . righteousness’ (1 Cor. 1:30; see also 2 Cor. 5:21). Paul’s point in 1 Cor. 6:1-11 is that the Corinthians need to live in a way that is consistent with this verdict and status (p. 2198).

If you’re familiar with the Corinthians at all, you know they weren’t living as people washed and sanctified. They weren’t going to lose their salvation, but they needed to live in light of it. We’ll never be perfect in this life, but our lives should reflect the change God has made in us. We should be continually growing more and more like our Savior.

It can be easy, as Christians, to take grace for granted. I have my sins that I continually battle with; I am sure you have yours. We can be tempted to accept that they are a part of who we are. Under the umbrella of being “authentic,” we can even wallow in our “mess” in ways that make it seem we’re proud of it.

Sure, we want to be real with people. We don’t want to portray ourselves as anywhere near perfection or above anyone.

But the Bible continually points us higher. It’s not that we rely on God’s goodness to save us and ours to walk with Him. No, we depend on His goodness all the way. We don’t compare ourselves to each other. But we strive to be like Christ. Not in our own efforts or strength, but relying on His. We rest in His grace, but we don’t presume on it.

For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:13).

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world (Phil 2:14-15).

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation (1 Peter 2:11-12).

Not just forgiven, but actively living unblameable before the world.

Abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it (1 Thessalonians 5: 22-24).

This shows both our effort–our abstaining–as well as God’s keeping us. Isn’t it interesting that verse 24, which we take out of context and apply to all kinds of other things, was a promise given to encourage us of God’s faithfulness to sanctify and keep us?

But how do we live a blameless life when we’re so prone to go our own way?

Our relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Back in Romans 8, our relationship with God is woven through the passage. We’re in Christ Jesus (verses 1-2); in the Spirit (verse 9); Jesus is in us (verses 10-11); we call God our Father (verses 14-16); the Spirit helps us in our weakness (verse 26); God foreknew us and predestined us to be like Christ (verses 29-30); nothing can separate us from God’s love (verses 31-37). These truths of our relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are throughout the Scripture.

Remember you are a temple of God. Not your own. Bought with a price.  “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1Corinthians 6:18-20).

Word of God. “So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation” (1 Peter 2:1-2).  “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9-11).

Prayer. “Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression” (Psalm 19:13).

Confession: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Don’t just “don’t,” but “do“—actively follow right.  “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22).

Don’t make provision for the flesh. “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:13-15).

Be renewed in our minds. Ephesians 4 shows the difference being a Christian should make in our lives. Paul urges us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (verse 1) and explains why. In the middle he calls us to “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24).

Abide in Christ. “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

Yield to God. “Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God” (Romans 6:13).

Walk in the Spirit. “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh) Galatians 5:16).

Beholding His glory. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (Corinthians 3:18). Ultimately, our change comes as we behold Him.

Does this all seem a little overwhelming, a little too much to keep up with? It’s probably supposed to, to remind us that we can’t do it on our own. The word “walk” in Galatians 5 is encouraging to me because a walk is a series of steps. I don’t have to worry about the whole pathway of the rest of my life. I just have to take this step yielding to Him, walking in fellowship with Him.

I think of this similarly to parents and children. In most cases, parents love children even when they mess up or wills clash. They’ll do everything they can to help a child do right. A child isn’t ever going to stop being his parents’ child, even if they aren’t on good terms. But a child who loves and respects his parents will want to do what they say and please them, even though sometimes he fails.

“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). But He also said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). We don’t do His will to earn or increase His love, but to show our love to Him. And when we fail, we come to Him for cleansing and forgiveness and carry on.

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, 25 to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24-25).

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)