Category Archives: Christian Womanhood

Tone makes a difference

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Recently I came across something written by a woman for women for the purpose of helping women, the content of which was excellent, but the tone was quite harsh.

I don’t know about other people, but a harsh tone tends to put me off and make the message hard to receive even when I know it is good. What does tend to draw me in is a coming-alongside, desiring-to-help attitude.

I don’t mean that we should be namby-pamby, cowardly, and spineless, or sacrifice truth under the guise of “love.” I know some of the prophets in Scripture could seem pretty harsh in their denunciations. But some of the tenderest expressions of God’s love and care are also found in those messages from the prophets. “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (Jeremiah 31:3) and “Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spake against him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my bowels are troubled for him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith the LORD” (Jeremiah 31:20) are just a couple.

I know in my own life, before salvation, realizing that I deserved hell all made me see my need. And though perhaps it was the fear of hell that drove me to seek deliverance, it was the grace and love of God that drew me to Him. Since then, holding up the standard of God’s Word and the realization that I have missed the mark and that I need to get something right with Him convicts me, but the knowledge that “we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities” and the invitation to therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 15:16) draws me.

One of my children in particular who seemed most to “need,” by his actions, scolding and reprimand, would just close up and withdraw when I “let him have it” verbally. It not only didn’t change his behavior, it put a wall between us. I had to learn to balance dealing with the issue and showing love, care and concern. Other times a harsh scolding produces a defensive reaction.

I also had to learn that exasperation (which can often lead to that kind of harsh attitude) is often a fleshly response: I’m irritated that this is still going on, that I have to deal with it again, that the child doesn’t “know better” and hasn’t “gotten” it by now. How unlike God, whose mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). How unlike the “wisdom that is from above” which “is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).

We need to be careful, too, in any kind of mentoring situation that we don’t approach it with an eye-rolling, exasperated, “Young people these days!” kind of attitude. That is sure to turn others off to any good we might want to do them. And we need to remember the purpose: when we have to deal with an issue, whether with a child, an employee, a committee member, or the general public in a book, blog, or talk, the purpose for dealing with the issue is not just to “get it off our chests.” That’s one sure way to come across as “scolding.” The purpose is to get them to see the importance of the issue and to change, not for our personal satisfaction, but for the stake of the truth we’re presenting.

Once I was listening to a sermon on the radio from a local pastor. I knew of him, I had read his books, I agreed with what he was preaching…yet at the end of it, something bothered me, and I couldn’t figure out what at first. Then I realized his main message, hammered over and over, was, “You need to get right.” Nothing wrong with that message: we do. But my own pastor at the time, whose ministry I was under for over fourteen years, would have said, “We need to get right” and then “There’s hope: here’s how to get right.” Though my pastor was one of the godliest men I have ever known, he, like Daniel (Daniel 9:1-19) and Ezra (Ezra 9), though they had not participated in Israel’s sin, yet they took their place with Israel and confessed the sins of the nation as though they were their own. I think that attitude of a fellow sinner helping sinners will help our message come across more compassionately.

We’ve all been under different kinds of authority figure in our lives and know what is it to have an infraction dealt with in such a way that we’re left hurt, deflated, discouraged, or angry, or, on the other hand, inspired to want to do right and to make restoration.

Of course, we’re responsible for the truth we hear no matter what tone or form it comes in. When we stand before God to give account of our lives, the excuse that we didn’t like how so-and-so delivered the message won’t hold up as a reason for not obeying it. If we are on the receiving end of a message with a harsh or scolding attitude, we still need to hear and apply and respond to the truth in the way the Lord would have for us to. But when we are sharing truth in any venue, let us remember to “Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man” (Colossians 4:5). The salt — the truth — is needed, but don’t forget the wisdom and the grace.

Mentoring women

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As Christian women, we get our instructions for mentoring from Titus 2:3-5:

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Other versions use the word “older” rather than “aged,” which sounds a little kinder to our 21st century ears. 🙂 One problem with mentoring, though, is that many older women hesitate to obey this command for a couple of reasons. For one, many don’t want to consider themselves in the “older” or “aged” category. And many don’t feel qualified because they feel they are not perfect in any of these areas and feel the need of instruction themselves: that was the common response recently when I was trying to find ladies to serve on a panel discussion about loving our husbands.

As I see it, we’re all older than someone. And if we have walked with the Lord for any length of time at all, we should be able to share something of what He has taught us along the way. No, we won’t be perfect in any area, but in a sense that helps with our mentoring. People need instruction and examples for how to deal with their faults and failures, and a person who admits to them has a little more credibility than someone who comes across as having “arrived.”

However, the character of the one mentoring does need to be the kind that “becomes holiness.” While we’re not sinless, and we need to confess often our faults to the Lord, on the other hand, as a general character and lifestyle, if we haven’t walked with the Lord and learned ourselves in these areas, we don’t have anything to teach anyone else anyway and wouldn’t be heeded if we tried. The rest of verse 4 indicates that a mentor must have a certain amount of self-control both in lifestyle and in speech. The NASB renders “false accusers” as “malicious gossips.” The NKJV says “slanderers.” No lady would want to pour out her heart and ask advice from someone who might then share what she has said with others.

How is mentoring best done? This is something I’ve asked many people through the years. There are several ways:

1. Formal instruction

When we hear the word “teach” we immediately think of classroom-type instruction. I don’t think that was specifically what Paul had in mind: I don’t know that they had classes for women in those days. But we do have classes, seminars, retreats and such in our day and culture that are beneficial. One former church we were members of had two-day conferences for women once every few years and once a year or so would disband their regular adult Sunday School classes to have separate classes for the men and women, and different ladies in the church would teach on these kinds of topics. It was something I looked forward to every year.

2. One-on-one arranged relationships

I have know some churches that had women who were interested in a one-on-one mentoring relationship sign up, and then someone paired up an older woman with a younger woman. The advantages of this kind of set-up would be in greater personal instruction and having someone to ask questions of. The disadvantages I can see would be the awkwardness of asking personal questions of someone you don’t have a personal relationship with and the danger of not really meshing with the person you’re assigned to, but I suppose those thing could be worked out over time.

I have heard of a younger woman who asked an older woman to be her “mentor” — I think they met together to talk and pray, and the younger woman asked the older questions about how she had devotions and such. One friend of mine was advised to choose one lady she was comfortable with and to ask advice of just that one lady. One advantage to that is that you wouldn’t get conflicting advice. That was a hard thing for me particularly as a young mother, when two older ladies who I loved and respected would give the exact opposite advice. I eventually learned to “glean” — to listen kindly and then pick through the advice to find what would most seem to “fit” my family, and leave the rest. But I would have had trouble picking just one woman, though that might have been beneficial to some. I know that often when I was struggling in some area or frustrated and wanting to know what to do, the Lord would put me in contact with some lady who sometimes even by a seemingly chance remark would give me just the bit of wisdom I needed at the moment.

3. Hospitality

When I was a saved teen in an unsaved home, another family in church invited me over often. Though they never formally instructed me (aside from including me in family devotions), I learned much from being around them and seeing how a Christian family interacted. The wife and mother was a great example to me in every way — in her submission to her husband, in her example as a mom, in her homemaking and meal-preparation skills, yet I don’t think she consciously had me over for the specific purpose of being an example to me.

4) Interaction

Times like bridal and baby showers, working in the nursery, setting up or cleaning up for a function, going to ladies’ meetings, fellowships, etc., were great times to mix and talk with other women as I was “growing up” as a lady. Sometimes if a question or problem cropped up, I’d ask some of them, but mostly it was still kind of an observing and absorbing of their spirit and example. Especially when I was approaching marriage, looking forward to having children, and then having them, I watched and “gleaned.” In more recent years my observing has been more along the lines of noticing godly behavior, being convicted, and asking the Lord to change me in those areas.

5) Writing

I have been ministered to, instructed, rebuked, and encouraged many times over the years by reading books written by godly women and, in more recent times, blogs.

I didn’t list family relationships, but that would be the most obvious avenue of an older lady teaching a younger one. Of course. not all ladies have mothers who are alive or who are Christians, and many live away from their parents after they marry. Even with a godly, accessible mother nearby, most of us could still use example and instruction from other godly women.

In Elisabeth’s Elliot’s book Keep a Quiet Heart, one very helpful chapter is titled “A Call to Older Women.” Here is one paragraph from it:

I think of the vast number of older women today. The Statistical Abstract of the United States for 1980 says that 19.5 percent of the population was between ages 45-65, but by 2000 it will be 22.9 percent. Assuming that half of those people are women, what a pool of energy and power for God they might be. We live longer now than we did forty years ago (the same volume says that the over-sixty-fives will increase from 11.3 percent to 13 percent). There is more mobility, more money around, more leisure, more health and strength–resources which, if put at God’s disposal, might bless younger women. But there are also many more ways to spend those resources, so we find it very easy to occupy ourselves selfishly. Where are the women, single or married, willing to hear God’s call to spiritual motherhood, taking spiritual daughters under their wings to school them as Mom Cunningham did me? She had no training the world would recognize. She had no thought of such. She simply loved God and was willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for His sake. Retirement never crossed her mind.

So how does one going about being a mentor or “spiritual mother” to other ladies? Pray first and seek how the Lord would have you go about it. After that, the biggest thing is just to be sensitive and available. Perhaps a new mom could use some help around the house or a few hours to herself while someone capable watches the children; perhaps you could write notes of encouragement to others or have a couple of ladies over for lunch. Even just going and talking to a younger lady at a fellowship or meeting instead of finding a friend is a start. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a formal arrangement with one particular lady, though some prefer that. As I mentioned earlier, often through the years just in the course of ordinary church life, the Lord would send someone with a “word in due season” that was just what I needed at the time.

One thing older women have to watch out for, however, is crossing over the line into being busybodies. I knew of one older lady who told one young mother of seven that she was having too many children and another young wife who was planning to wait to have children til her husband was through seminary that she needed to get started on her family. It is no wonder that she caused hurt feelings rather than helping or ministering to anyone.

Though older women need to be aware of this Scriptural admonition and to seek God’s wisdom in going about obeying it, the other side of the coin is that younger women need to be willing to be taught, and part of that involves just spending time with each other. A lot of times we tend to gravitate to our own age groups, which is natural, but it’s good to get out of our comfort zone and get to know ladies of all ages. I have learned a lot from other ladies just by being around them and watching and listening to them, but sometimes I’ve felt led to ask specific questions. If you’re a younger lady who would like some “spiritual mothering,” ask the Lord to guide someone to you and take time to get to know some of the older ladies in your church. I feel sure that you’ll find someone whom you can look up to and learn from, but if not (and even if you do and would like to supplement your learning), reading good books is another way to gain from the wisdom of those who have gone before.

Church ladies’ groups

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Something in a recent comment prompted the thought that it might be helpful to some to write a post about church ladies’ groups. Recently a friend at church had a friend from her home town visiting who also happened to head up her ladies’ group, and it was fun to compare notes and get ideas. I’d love to do that here, too: I’d love to know what kinds of things your ladies group does, what has worked and hasn’t worked for you. And if you don’t have one, maybe this will give you some ideas for starting one.

I was in and out of church as a young person and my mom didn’t attend regularly, so I don’t know what the ladies in those churches did. The church we were in when we first married had a ladies group which was entirely focused on missions: they began with a project time making things for the missionaries, had a missionary speaker, passed out pre-addressed letters for people to write to missionaries, had folders with prayer cards and prayer letters that they passed out at the end for people to take a few minutes to pray for specific requests for those missionaries, and collected items the missionaries could not get in their countries. When we moved to another state, the ladies there pretty much just met together for fellowship times.

At the church we are in now, the ladies group restructured several years ago with three goals in mind:

1. to find ways to minister to, encourage, and pray for our missionaries
2. to try to keep our missionaries before our people and help them get to know them better
3. to foster fellowship among our own ladies.

Sometimes our meetings are more directly missionary oriented; sometimes they are more oriented toward fellowship. But we do fellowship at every meeting, and we try to incorporate a prayer time for specific missionaries at most meetings.

At our monthly meetings we often have a missionary speaker or a lady from our church giving her testimony. In the past we have also had craft demonstrations such as stamping or soap-making, worked on projects for our missionaries, heard talks on various topics such as time management or heart health, and had an open discussion of topics like having devotions, loving our husbands, or hospitality. Annual events include a ladies’ banquet, assembling care packages for our college students, and sponsoring a church-wide “Missionary Christmas.” Occasionally we’ve gone bowling or putt-putting. Throughout the year ladies may opt to participate in a Secret Sister program to pray for and send little notes and gifts to someone anonymously, and then we get to find out the identity of our secret sister for the year at our annual Christmas party.

Most of the monthly meetings are held in the fellowship hall at church, but some are held in homes. We do have a nursery available: it used to be staffed by teens, but as their involvement dropped off one of our ladies took that on. Different ladies host the fellowship time, bringing and serving refreshments.

Occasionally some of the women will get-together for a Bible study of several weeks duration, led by different individual ladies. Often we use a study book from Regular Baptist Press; a couple of times a video series has been used. In some churches, organizing meals for families with someone who is sick or recovering from a hospital stay or for funerals is handled by a committees of ladies: in our church that is organized by deacon groups (all the church families are divided up by deacons, with each deacon over a group, and he and his wife organize meals and fellowships and such).

Some groups might also have a committee that organizes bridal and baby showers for church members. Our pastor wants that handled on an individual basis, so different ladies who know the brides or moms-to-be organize showers. There are a few who particularly have a heart for that ministry and take care that no one is overlooked.

The friend’s friend that I mentioned said that her ladies’ group has a monthly meeting as well as a monthly outing. I don’t know if that would go over here — people are so busy it’s hard for some even to come to a monthly meeting. But it might be fin to explore that as an occasional thing.

Some years ago on a Christian internet forum, one lady mentioned that her church ladies’ group was developing a home economics course that included all the basics of sewing, cooking, menu planning, childcare (to include bathing, dressing, diaper rash and illness), time management, organized cleaning, home maintenance, finances, budgeting, etc. — as well as basic discipleship and doctrinal classes. You’d probably need a lot of manpower (or woman-power!) for that kind of thing!

Most church ladies’ groups are focused on ministering to missionaries and/or their own ladies, but some also incorporate reaching out to others with a ladies’ visitation program or having Bible studies or special programs or activities especially geared toward inviting the lost. Of course, lost friends and co-workers can be invited to the regular ladies’ meetings to hear the testimonies and be around ladies in a more informal setting.

A few helpful resources I’ve found are:

  • Women’s World: Ideas and Procedures for Missions Groups by Dorothy Vander Kaay (out of print now, I believe, but used copies can be found online): this book had some helpful ideas, but I found the sections on organization to be a little too rigid (what kind of officers are needed and what they should do, etc.) But you could adapt the idea for your group.

Speaking of organization and structure, that varies from church to church. At the first church I mentioned, they had several officers that were elected every year, and the group as a whole was somewhat guided and overseen by the pastors’ wives. The second group I mentioned really had no structure at all: the pastor’s wife basically suggested activities, but it was a small church and everyone pitched in for most activities. At our church now, one lady was asked to head it up when the group was restructured. I kind of unofficially assisted her because that seemed to be the area of ministry where my heart was, and when this lady moved, I inherited the group. 🙂 I would like at some point to have more people involved and perhaps go to electing officers: I think getting new folks involved keeps things fresh. Probably how things are structured depends a lot on how big the group is and what its goals are.

If your church does not have a ladies’ group, and you’re interested in one, you might start, first of all, with prayer for the Lord’s guidance. Then you might jot down some ideas of what kinds of groups or activities you’d be interested in, then ask for a session with your pastor to discuss them with him. Some pastors will have specific ideas for the ladies’ group; others will basically leave it up to the ladies’ involved and will only want to be kept informed. Then you might gather a few other interested ladies to brainstorm, or you might make up a questionnaire to get several ladies’ ideas and also ascertain what skills and talents the different ladies of your church have that they’d be willing to use for the group. Even if you can’t do everything you’d like to at first, once you get started, you can grow in different directions as the Lord leads and as needs and interests dictate.

In the next day or two I want to post a related piece on mentoring women in general: I wrote something on it for our ladies’ group newsletter, but I need to rework it a bit. To me a good ladies’ group within a church is an excellent means of mentoring and edifying each other. (Update: The post about mentoring women is here.)

Two views of housework

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I. It’s such a waste of time to cook.
I’m just a walking cookery book.
I make and bake the morning through,
The favorite pies and pudding, too.
Then in half an hour or less,
My toil has gone to nothingness.
It’s a waste of time to dust the stairs,
To clean the brass and polish chairs,
To sweep and pick up bits of fluff,
For nothing ever is clean enough.
Five minutes after I have done,
Someone is sure to romp and run,
Kick out the stair rods, flick the mats,
Slam the doors and scare the cats.
Some sticky hand is sure to press
The brasses from their sprightliness.
I tidy up and do the dusting,
But all the while my wings are rusting.
Then washing day it seems to me
Is just a waste of energy.
What use to stand before a tub
And soak and rinse and blue and rub?
Next week the selfsame garment’s stain
Will come into my hands again.
It’s such a waste of time to mend.
One has no sooner reached the end
Of last week’s pile then, need you ask it,
This week’s filled up the mending basket.
The stockings, which were hale and hearty,
Return from each picnicking party,
Weak and worn and wanly show
Great gaping holes in heel and toe,
While buttons have a cantankerous way
Of disappearing every day.
Sponging off the spots and ironing creases,
Between it all I’m worn to pieces.
Woman, from cradle to grave,
Is nothing but a galley slave.

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II. I’ve done an angel’s work today.
Yes, such an honor came my way.
Real angel’s work. Lest you doubt it,
I’m going to tell you all about it.
Well, first I cooked. It was so nice
To plan the pies, stewed fruit and rice.
God sent His angel once to make cakes
For a poor wayfarer’s sake.
Just today He honored me
And sent the task my way, you see.
Then while I tidied up the place,
Gave every knob a radiant face,
Back of my mind this thought would lurk-
That I was still at angel’s work.
Putting away coats and dresses
And moving small, unsightly messes,
For oh, ’tis such a lovesome thing,
Just straightening out and freshening.
And after that, I washed a few
Small woolly garments, old, not new,
Things I had rubbed and rinsed before,
Quite forty times or even more.
As I hung them on the line,
I thought what Godlike work was mine-
To cleanse, ah me, to wash out stains
Till not a single speck remains.
So later in the day, ’twas sweet
To sit and rest my tired feet,
Mending the clothes and plan out, too,
How to make old things into new.
For surely it is an angel’s way
To put things right from day to day,
To find thin places and repair
The glad rags and the sturdy wear.
Since wear and tear must surely be
On this side of eternity,
I’m feeling very proud to say
I’ve done an angel’s work today.

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~ Author unknown

I’m afraid my attitude is too often the former…but I am working on it!

(Clip art courtesy of Microsoft) 

Enjoying each other’s gifts

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A couple of weeks ago Shannon had a post titled Wonder Woman Is Just a Chick in Tights and Barb wrote about Murdering a Myth, both posts having to do with not thinking that any of the bloggers we read are super-women, realizing that we only see brief glimpses of their lives and not the whole picture, being careful not to compare ourselves with others, etc. I agree with everything they said, so I am not going to repeat it here. I did just want to bring up one other aspect for thought, though.

Let me try to convey what I am talking about with a non-blogging example first. At our ladies’ meetings at church, different ladies sign up to hostess each meeting by bringing refreshments and setting up the refreshment table. One lady who used to attend was really gifted at putting on a spread and did several really neat dishes. We all really enjoyed it. But I heard a little bit of a buzz afterward along the lines of “How can I ever follow that?” So I felt I had to reassure ladies that it was ok to just bring a pan of brownies, that it was ok to keep it simple, that the refreshments weren’t the main point of the meeting. And that’s true. But then I almost felt I was discouraging anyone who was gifted in that area from exercising that gift. And I thought, why can’t we just enjoy it when someone excels in an area rather than comparing ourselves and then feeling depressed about it?

Years and years ago, probably before I had kids, I attended a ladies’ Christmas party in a different church where each lady was supposed to bring some type of food. Heaven knows there are some situations like that in which I am doing good to bring just a package of Oreos, but that particular time I had seen a neat idea for wrapping a Styrofoam cone in foil, placing it upside down on a tray (like a Christmas tree, mimicking the aluminum ones that were popular at one time) then sticking little cut-outs of cheese and little bits of vegetables on toothpicks all over the cone to look like ornaments (with a little star cut out of cheese with a cookie cutter on top. 🙂 ) Then, this idea from a magazine also involved boiling the long green parts of green onions until they were limp and the using them like ribbons to tie little groups of carrot sticks and celery sticks together to place on the tray around the cone like presents. (That does all sound a little over the top now, doesn’t it? I might still do the cone thing another time, but probably not the boiling and wrapping.)

When I brought that tray to the party, at first people oohed and ahhed over it (and we do have to be careful that we’re not always doing things to get oohs and ahhs. I don’t think it’s wrong to bask in someone’s appreciation, to be pleased that someone enjoyed our efforts, but if we’re living for that, if we get down because no one oohed and ahhed, that’s a problem — but that’s a different post). But then someone made what seemed to me a cutting remark — I don’t remember what was said exactly, but something like, “Some of us just don’t have time for that kind of thing!” She probably didn’t mean it this way, but her tone seemed to me to say, “Some of us have more important things to do.” I don’t know if I am adequately conveying it, but it hurt, and it took a lot of the pleasure out of having tried to do something special.

As I look over the different aspects of my life, I don’t see any area where I would consider myself an expert. There is always going to be someone who can do anything that I can do better than I do it. And that’s ok.

I do believe in striving for excellence as unto the Lord, for improving, for doing my best. But we shouldn’t necessarily be striving for excellence to beat everybody else out. Unless we’re Olympic athletes or something. But can you imagine living with that kind of pressure, to be constantly striving to be better that everyone else, and when you’ve achieved it, you’re only the best til the next competition? I am glad I am not called to that.

I said all of that to say this. There are bloggers who excel in many categories. There are experts in frugality. There are efficient and creative homemakers. There are organizational whirlwinds. There are inspiring crafters. There are excellent writers who bring tears to me eyes or have me laughing out loud (sometimes in the same post!) There are those who excel in housekeeping, in parenting, in wifing, in their line of work, in devotional writing, in Biblical teaching — in every area. And I think most, if not all of them, are blogging sincerely without any smugness or desire to make anyone else feel bad.

So, instead of comparing ourselves to each other, which the Bible tells us is unwise, why can’t we just enjoy each other’s gifts? We may even be inspired and take away a few pointers. When I peruse crafter’s blogs, I may not do the exact things they do, but their creativity inspires me to be creative. Someone who takes joy in their housekeeping inspires me to think of it joyfully as well, even if I don’t do every little thing they do in the way they do it. I may not emulate every tip of a frugal blogger, but their carefulness and watchfulness inspires me to be more careful in my spending. I have to admit, I have read some gifted writing amongst some bloggers, and I’ve looked up to the ceiling and thought, “What do I think I’m doing trying to write? I should just point people to them!” And sometimes I do. But each of us has our own sphere of influence and our own calling. We can glean from others, learn from them, be inspired by them — and just enjoy their exercise of the gifts and talents God has given them while seeking His wisdom and strength for what He wants us to do.

More on marriage and other womanly concerns

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I meant to mention in yesterday’s post about loving husbands a resource someone shared with me. At the Revive Our Hearts site is a link for praying for your husband every day. It has a list of different aspects to pray for each day of the month.

Susan had a great post today about marriage.

I don’t know many Christian women bloggers who don’t read girltalk, but if you don’t, they have been having a series this week about dealing with PMS, postpartum depression, and menopause. It’s been very helpful.

Fall Y’all Giveaway

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Comments are now closed and I am about to draw a winner….

fallyall.jpgIf you haven’t heard yet about Shannon’s Fall Y’all giveaway extravaganza, the guidelines are here, and the list of participants is here.

One of my most favorite things to do is read, and I spend a number of posts talking about good books I’ve found, so I wanted books to be a part of my giveaway.

daily-light.jpgI also spend a lot of time talking about the importance of the Word of God, so my first giveaway is a devotional book called Daily Light on the Daily Path. It is made up entirely of Scripture, compiled by the Samuel Bagster family. I don’t know how many times my reading for the day has given me just what I needed for the time.

The other books I want to give away as a set: The Secret Life of Becky Miller and Renovating Becky Miller by Sharon Hinck. I reviewed them earlier here and here. I know a lot of “Mom bloggers” participate in this giveaway, and Becky Miller is a young mom who wants to do “big things for God” but finds out life doesn’t always go the way she dreams it will. There are some hilarious moments as well as sweet and poignant moments. You don’t have to be a mom to get the spiritual lessons in the books, though.

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Leave a comment on this post and let me know if you are interested in either the devotional book or the Becky Miller set or both. I will close comments Friday night at midnight EST and use the random number generator to draw two winners on Saturday morning. This contest is open to anyone anywhere. One comment per person, please. You don’t have to have a blog to enter, but if you don’t just be sure to leave your e-mail address so I have a way to notify you if you’ve won.

I am also going to try to have another crafty give-away in a couple of days if I can get it together — it’s shaping up to be another busy week! But if I do I will post another link to the Fall Y’all giveaway page.

P.S.: Here is a works-for-me tip for keeping up with the giveaways I’ve entered. I started an e-mail to myself (though it could also be done via a Word document — I just used my e-mail because it’s always open when I am online and it’s handy) and listed the item and the address of the contest, then saved it in the “Mail waiting to be sent” folder. It’s easy to open back up when I go back to checking more giveaway posts. I think most of those offering a giveaway notify the winner, but some don’t, so this way I can run back through the list when this week is over and check the winners’ names.

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Works-For-Me Wednesday: Backwards Day, #2

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wfmwheader_4.jpgI had already posted a question for this week’s Backwards Day version of WFMW below, then much later on I remembered something else I had wanted to ask about, so I thought since it was a different topic I’d make it a different post rather than adding on to the previous one.

Someone e-mailed me this week asking if I knew of any Christian resources for dealing with menopause, particularly the problems resulting from lack of sleep and from depression. I don’t, but since this is something I will likely be dealing with in the next few years, I’d like to have some good resources on hand, too.

Know of any?

Again, to take this opportunity to ask for tips from the blogosphere, go to Shannon’s at Rocks In My Dryer.

Mother’s Day reading and assorted stray thoughts

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Elisabeth Elliot wrote a leaflet she titled “A Call to Spiritual Motherhood” which she read in on of her radio broadcasts. You can read the transcript here. It is an excellent article encouraging all of us in any stage of life to spiritually “mother” younger women. Many of us have had godly women besides out own mothers who were shining examples to us, who taught us along the way and encouraged us. I think they are worthy of honor on a day like Mother’s Day, too. 🙂

Girltalk has some excellent articles for those who have lost children to miscarriage or a later death, struggle with infertility or have wayward children, for whom this time of year can be quite painful.

Annie’s Mother’s Day pages have several neat links. I especially liked What the Bible Says About Mothers.

Anna Jarvis is regarded as the founder of Mother’s Day. The purpose she had in mind was:

..To revive the dormant filial love and gratitude we owe to those who gave us birth. To be a home tie for the absent. To obliterate family estrangement. To create a bond of brotherhood through the wearing of a floral badge. To make us better children by getting us closer to the hearts of our good mothers. To brighten the lives of good mothers. To have them know we appreciate them, though we do not show it as often as we ought…

Mothers Day is to remind us of our duty before it is too late.

This day is intended that we may make new resolutions for a more active thought to our dear mothers. By words, gifts, acts of affection, and in every way possible, give her pleasure, and make her heart glad every day, and constantly keep in memory Mothers Day; when you made this resolution, lest you forget and neglect your dear mother, if absent from home write her often, tell her of a few of her noble good qualities and how you love her.

“A mother’s love is new every day.”

God bless our faithful good mothers.

So many times these days the focus is on “how to be a better mother” on Mother’s Day rather than honoring one’s own mother. There is nothing wrong with writings and sermons about how to be a better mother — I know I certainly need them. But I think that focus can make this day all the more painful for those mentioned above who have lost children or can’t have children.

What if you don’t feel your mother is worthy of honor? The command to honor our fathers and mothers is just that — a command. I don’t think I ever felt my mother unworthy, but in my teens I did struggle for a brief while with respecting my parents. One day after a sermon on “Children, obey your parents,” it occurred to me that the two passages that teach that (Ephesians 6:1-3 and Colossians 3:20) do not qualify the command (obey if they are saved, if they are perfect, if they do everything just right, if they deserve it). I realized that all of the commands about relationships in the rest of those passages were not dependent on the other person doing his or her part. We’re supposed to do our part whether the other one does or not. I was supposed to obey my parents and respect their position as my parents. I had to apologize for my attitude, and the Lord enabled me to indeed honor them and respect them, and even to appreciate them and to be thankful for the life they gave me, the care they took of me, and so many more things. It showed in my attitude (I had never been allowed to “backtalk,” but there are other ways a disrespectful attitude can seep out), and the Lord healed the breach between my parents and me. I hope to write a tribute to my mom tomorrow. She passed away a year and a half ago, and I miss her terribly.

So I encourage you to truly honor your mom tomorrow. If she is no longer with you, you can honor her memory. That might even be a testimony to someone else.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

I Corinthians 13 for mothers

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I Corinthians 13 Paraphrased For Mothers
Adapted by Jim Fowler

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper ­ not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness not godliness.

If I scream at my children for every infraction, and fault them for every mess they make, but have not love, my children become people-pleasers­ not obedient children.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.

Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.

Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love accepts the fact that I am the ever-present “mommy,” the taxi-driver to every childhood event, the counselor when my children fail or are hurt.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, and runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God’s perfection of my child. All the projections I had for my house and my children have faded away into insignificance, and what remain are the memories of my kids.

Now there abides in my home scratches on most of the furniture, dishes with missing place settings, and bedroom walls full of stickers, posters and markings,

But the greatest of all is the Love that permeates my relationships with my children.