Category Archives: Parenting

A precious offering

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I was going through a stack of Elisabeth Elliot newsletters from years ago looking for a particular article I wanted to reference in the ladies’ ministry newsletter. I didn’t find that one, but I found a few others I wanted to quote from both in the newsletter and here.

Elisabeth’s newsletters were published from late 1982 to 2003. They are stored online here. I’ve been thinking I should probably print out the ones I don’t have in hand in case they are ever taken offline. Many of the articles I have read multiple times and they still minister to me.

This one caught my eye because I have read several accounts among my online friends in the last few days concerning taking their older children to college. I struggled with missing mine even though they are only 45 minutes away: I can’t imagine what it is like to leave them several states or even countries away. Though distance is a factor, I think what we wrestle with is the idea that they are taking yet another step away from us in the journey toward adulthood. We know that’s the way it is supposed to be, and we wouldn’t hold them back, but that doesn’t mean we don’t miss them.

Here, then, is a column from the May/June 2001 Elisabeth Elliot newsletter about the time her only daughter was preparing for college.

Shortly before my daughter Valerie, my only child, went off to college as a freshman, a “sudden tide” came over me one morning as I was working in the kitchen. She had been the great joy of my life for seventeen years. When she was about eleven or twelve, friends heard me speak of what seemed to me a near-perfect mother-daughter relationship.

“Oh, but wait till she’s a teenager!” they warned, “then you’ll have some rough times.” I was still waiting. I could not conceive of life without her.

“She has grown up,” I told myself. “My job is finished, the job I loved more than anything else I have ever done. The nest is about to empty.”

Overcome with sadness, I sat down at the wicker table, picked up the phone, and dialed Van, who is the sort of friend you don’t have to explain things to. Tears came as soon as I tried to talk.

“It’s O.K., Bet,” she said quietly. “It’ll be O.K.”

She did not need to explain to me what she meant. She knew I understood. We believe the same things—things like Julian of Norwich’s “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” But I needed to hear her say it. I needed to have the Word made flesh for me in her voice. Van’s simple word, “It’ll be O.K.,” encouraged me to trust and obey. I learned that in this renunciation I had what the seed has that falls into the ground—a new potential for life-giving. I would be lonely, but I now had something precious to offer in love to my Lord, which in turn would make something quite different out of my loneliness. In some mysterious way which I could not predict, that offering would bring forth fruit. It would make a difference to the wholeness of the Body of which I was but a single member.

The way we respond to the “givens” in our daily experience determines our growth in holiness. When we pray, “Give us this day our daily bread,” God answers that prayer, measuring out just what we need for spiritual as well as physical growth.

Interesting things seen around the blogosphere

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Charity at Vintage Threads made a wonderful collage of fall decorations and links.

Rabbit at The Hutch has a wonderful post about the Name of God regarding whether God cares what He is called.

Katrina at Callapidder Days has a two-part post about how injustices are perceived and handled and right and wrong ways to react.

Grafted Branch at Restoring the Years has a great post on children’s interruptions.

Dr. Jim Hamilton, Assistant Professor of Biblical Studies at Havard School for Theological Studies – Southwestern’s Houston campus, had a very thought-provoking interview on the topic of writing books reviews. (HT to Jason Button).

Chris Anderson references an excellent, thought-provoking article titled What You Can Learn from Calvin and Hobbes about the Message and the Medium, asking “If chintzy merchandise cheapens a comic strip, what in the world does it do to the gospel of Jesus Christ??!”

Time Travel Tuesday: Birthing edition

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My Life as Annie hosts the weekly Time Travel Tuesday and asks us this week about birthing stories.

With my first pregnancy, we had been married four years and had been wanting to get pregnant for about two. We were beginning to wonder if we should go to the doctor and check things out when I finally got pregnant. My first sign was

(click to read the rest) Continue reading →

Works-For-Me Wednesday: Parenting Edition

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The first WFMW of each month has been a themed one this year, and this month the focus is on parenting.

I’m no expert and my family and I are far from perfect…..but after almost 23 years of parenting, I’ve learned a few things…

  • Pray for wisdom. I used James 1:5 in conjunction with raising my children more than any other area of life.
  • Study what the Bible has to say about raising children. For one of my child care classes in college, we had to do a study on what the Bible says about raising children, just taking a concordance and looking up verses with words like child, children, teach, train, etc. It was one of the most beneficial things I have ever done.
  • Use Scripture in explaining right and wrong and principles to them, but don’t club them over the head with it and don’t be harsh about it.
  • Don’t give them options when they don’t have any. When it is time to go to bed or to eat dinner, don’t ask them if they would like to or if they are ready to — you’re just setting yourself up for trouble if they say, “No.” When it is time to go to bed, in a cheerful and positive but firm way let them know it’s time. I always liked to let them know ahead of time when a deadline is coming up (“After this TV program ends, then it’s bedtime” or “I’ll set the timer for ten minutes, and then we need to pick up toys and go to bed.”) just out of consideration. After all, I much prefer knowing what’s coming up rather than being told I need to drop what I’m doing now.
  • Teach them to be constructive rather than destructive.
  • Never assume. You can walk into a situation and think you know what has happened and be dead wrong. Unless it’s an emergency situation it’s best to ask questions first and clarify what has happened.
  • Ask questions instead of making accusations. I mentioned in an earlier post that this is something I just learned within the last year, and I wish I had known it when my kids were younger. Making accusations produces defensiveness: asking questions leads to examination and conviction.
  • Be specific and clear in your instructions.
  • Realize that your children might have a different understanding of your instructions than what you’re trying to convey. A classic example is the instruction to “Clean your room.” A young child will have a different idea of what that entails than you do. It’s better to be specific: “I want your Legos in the box and your books on the shelf and your dirty clothes in the hamper.”
  • Be careful, though, of too many instructions at once. If someone has several things they want me to do, I’d have to ask them to wait a minute while I get something to write them down. Why would I then expect my children to remember a long list of instructions?
  • Teach progressively. When teaching your child to do something, say, a specific chore, do it together with them at first, then progress to having them do it (or parts of it at first) under supervision, then doing it on their own. Along with that, remember…
  • Children do what is inspected rather than what is expected.
  • Don’t have negative expectations of any age or stage. Two different mothers told me this at two different stages of life, one before the “terrible twos,” and one in regard to the teen years. Going into those or other stages expecting it to be terrible is going to color everything. The world seems to promote the idea that the teen years are going to be awful and it’s just that way and you just have to hang on and get through it. There are struggles and issues to work through, certainly, but if the relationship has been good all along and respect and obedience have been taught all along, it doesn’t have to be a bad time for parents or teens.
  • Attitude is as important as obedience. I used to give more latitude for a negative attitude if my children were still doing what I asked them to, because, after all, I don’t always have the greatest attitude, myself, about the things I need to do. But I was convicted in recent years by I Cor. 6:20: “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I wish I had emphasized this more when my kids were younger. They need to know that “Do all things without murmurings and disputings” is God’s requirement, not just what Mom would wish for in a perfect world (Phil 2:14. Verse 15 says this is part of our testimony.) You have to be careful here and take into account age level, emotional maturity, whatever else has happened in their day (whether they’re stressed, over-tired, ill, hungry, etc.), and I wouldn’t expect perfection, but you should see growth in this area over the years.
  • Convey expectations beforehand. I mentioned this in a previous WFMW, but I learned that it helped a lot to let children know ahead of an event what was expected rather than trying to keep on top of their behavior during the event. Even with something simple like going to the grocery store, if I told them before we left the house or before we got out of the car (or both) that I wanted them to sit nicely in the cart and we wouldn’t be getting a toy today but we might get a treat if they were good, it helped curb the “I wants” when we passed the toy aisle and kept them from trying to climb out of the cart.
  • “You have to stay where I can see you.” This was our watchword when we went out in public anywhere (after they got out of the stroller stage) — in the park, in the grocery store, at the mall, even at church. This was not only for their safety and so that they wouldn’t be in danger of being snatched away: it was also so I could keep an eye on what they were doing. I don’t know why it seems at church in particular parents seem to let their young children run free. Maybe they are thinking it’s a safe environment and that everyone will be watching them. But they need to be under our watchful eye there as well as everywhere else. I could tell you stories of kids found raiding the cookie jar in the nursery, piling their plates higher than anyone could possibly eat at church fellowships, and all manner of things. They need to be taught both by instruction and example how to act there as well as everywhere else.
  • Point out the hand of God in everyday life. When a car swerves into your lane but misses you, thank God for His protection. When we see sunlight filtering through the clouds in a pretty pattern, point out the beauty of His creation. Let them know of answers to prayer, great and small. Help them to see God as real and active and interested in their lives. I think this goes a long way toward making Him real to them and conveying that Christianity is a relationship with Him and not just a set of rules (though rules and doctrine are important, too).
  • Keep time with God as a priority. I expanded on this in an earlier post: it may be harder to do when the children are small, and you may have to be a little more creative in how you do it, but it can be done with His help.
  • Enjoy this time of life! You hear it all the time, but it is so true: it goes by so fast. Relax and enjoy it as much as possible.

As always, you can find a wealth of tips on Wednesdays at Rocks In My Dryer.

Works-For-Me Wednesday: Summer Actvities

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wfmwheader_4.jpg This week’s Works-For-Me Wednesday is a themed one, the “Mom, I’m bored” edition where we share tips about how things our kids can do to while away the summer days.

Here are a few ideas for children or for parents to do with children — or even for adults to do on their own:

· A special Bible study project like a study of the wise man in Proverbs or all the synonyms for God’s Word in Psalm 119.

· Swim lessons

· Learn a new craft—take a class, get an instruction book and teach yourself, or ask someone to teach you.

· Work on a jigsaw puzzle as a family project.

· Run through the sprinkler.

· Water balloon fights

· Find free concerts where you can take a picnic and listen to music. One orchestra not far from here usually has concerts near a lake in the summer, and often has the 1812 Overture complete with cannon and fireworks near the Fourth of July.

· Visit museums

· Read, individually or together

· Have dinner or lunch at a park; feed the ducks; ride the paddleboats

· Listen to an audiobook while doing something else with your hands.

· Get together with friends.

· Meet a neighbor.

· Acquaint yourself with classical music. Listen together while just relaxing or doing something else with your hands. You might do some general listening or focus on one composer or era and supplement your listening with a little research on the Internet. There are some interesting stories behind some pieces like Haydn’s Surprise Symphony (No. 94) and Farewell Symphony (No. 45) and Handel’s Water Music and others.

· Work on a major project like cleaning out the attic. Involve the children. Some of the best family times are not just the vacation and fun days, but working together. It can be a fellowship time as well as a teaching and work time.

Find other workable summertime tips at Rocks In My Dryer.

That’s one way to learn….

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A couple of days ago my usually-sunny Jesse looked a little perturbed when he got into the car after school. A substitute teacher had assigned the class to write a story using their vocabulary words, due the next day. I don’t know if his consternation was due more to the “that’s not the way our teacher always does it” syndrome or to the fact that he had so short of a notice, or what. We got home and he chilled out in his usual after-school fashion by getting a snack and watching cartoons for a little while, then playing video games.

He usually does homework after dinner, but for some reason we both got distracted and forgot about it until 9:00 — an hour before his bedtime. He rummaged around his backpack for his vocabulary book before shamefacedly telling me he had left it at school.

I was not pleased, to say the least, and my expression surely showed it, because he apologized immediately.

Now — we only live about 3-7 minutes away from the school, depending on traffic and red lights. And I have a key to the building he would need to get into to get his book. The last thing I wanted to do at 9:00 p.m. was go out in the dark with a thirteen year old to unlock a building a retrieve a book. Something I wrestle with often as a parent is when to let a child take the consequences of his actions and when to jump in and help. I didn’t say anything for a few minutes as I mulled this over.

Then Jesse came up with the idea of calling a girl in his class whom he knew to be “responsible” and asking her for the words and definitions. So she graciously read every vocabulary word and its definition over the phone while he wrote them out longhand.

He then came back to his backpack to get out the paper to start writing his story and found — his vocabulary book!

We all had a good laugh about it and teased him that at least that was a good way to study his vocabulary. Hopefully this will also spur him to check to make sure he has all the books he needs before he comes home. I was especially glad I hadn’t taken him to school at night to get the book that was safely home! And I learned yet again to give them a few minutes to work out a solution before providing one.

A nice Mother’s Day and more stray thoughts

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I had a lovely Mother’s Day. One tradition that developed somehow is that Jim usually grills something for lunch on Mother’s Day after church and the boys are all assigned a side dish. Jeremy made the salad, Jason made Rice-a-roni, Jesse shucked corn on the cob while Jim grilled the chicken. Jim also cut up strawberries and got those little sponge cake thingies and whipped topping for strawberry shortcake. Jim did the shopping for the meal on Saturday. Jeremy set the table, and then they cleaned up the kitchen afterward. Not only is the meal great, but it is so lovely to come in after church and just go relax!

When the boys were little I had them pick out cards to buy for family members having birthday or for Father’s Day and such — I think we may have made cards once or twice, but I can’t remember for sure. But as they have gotten older, I leave that to them — and they don’t usually buy or make cards of any kind. 🙂 But this year Jesse gave me a card with his present. When I opened it, it was a thank you card, and at first I chuckled at that. But inside he thanked me for the things that I do for the family (at the top was making food. 🙂 “The way to a man’s heart…..”). It was very, very sweet, and a note I’ll keep always.

Jim always gives lovely, thoughtful cards. I also received a couple of books I had been wanting plus one in a series that I didn’t know was coming, some scrapbooking paper and alphabet punches and a lovely print and a gift card to get it framed. I am very blessed!

On a different line of thought, my heart has been heavy this week for a family I know in which the teen-age daughter is having some problems that came to a head recently. The people involved (and, I think, everyone whom we mutually know) don’t read my blog, but I still don’t want to disclose the details to protect privacy. They are receiving counseling, and one thing that came up was the lack of boundaries the child had and the mother’s being a “softie” and letting her have her way. The counselor told her that was bad parenting. I don’t think that was the wisest wording, because she was so wounded over being called a bad parent that she’s not hearing any solutions.

This is not the first time someone we know has reaped problems in the teen years that were sown in the early years. Whether the parent in some cases just doesn’t know how to discipline, or they felt it would be too “mean” to do so, or they’re too influenced by some off-the-wall child psychology that tells them they’ll damage their child’s little psyche if they tell them no, or they’re just lazy, the end result is usually the same. We’re naturally self-centered and we don’t usually naturally want what’s best for ourselves, plus children aren’t born with wisdom and experience. Parents aren’t doing children any favors by letting them have their way all the time, by not ever restraining them, by always giving them they want.

When I was in college taking a class on the family, it was stressed that parents need to think about what kind of adult they want their child to be and then raise them accordingly. If we want to raise an adult who will be a diligent worker who sees a job through to completion, we need to give him “chores” to do (and finish) when he’s young. If we want our children to be adults with a healthy measure of self-control, we have to realize they are not going to have it magically when they turn 18: it has to be developed along the way, and it won’t be if they always receive what they want. We can’t expect perfection, of course. But they can begin at a pretty early age to have the foundation laid.

I’ve been thinking for a while about writing our philosophies and how we disciplined our children. I’ve been hesitant because I’m not an expert and no one in my family is perfect, and I don’t want to come across as if I think I am. Yet the Lord did teach us some things along the way, and there seems to be such a need for parents to realize that not only can they discipline their kids, but it is their God-given responsibility to. I see so many out-of-control kids leading their parents around, with the parents shrugging and thinking that’s just how it is or getting really frustrated and then doing things they regret. It doesn’t have to be that way.

So — I may think and pray further about that. I can’t write it our today — I have some other obligations. But I may do so later this week.

I hope this hasn’t sounded like a “rant” — I haven’t meant it that way at all, and that’s not how my heart feels writing it. I’m more saddened and burdened for families in this situation.

Mother’s Day reading and assorted stray thoughts

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Elisabeth Elliot wrote a leaflet she titled “A Call to Spiritual Motherhood” which she read in on of her radio broadcasts. You can read the transcript here. It is an excellent article encouraging all of us in any stage of life to spiritually “mother” younger women. Many of us have had godly women besides out own mothers who were shining examples to us, who taught us along the way and encouraged us. I think they are worthy of honor on a day like Mother’s Day, too. 🙂

Girltalk has some excellent articles for those who have lost children to miscarriage or a later death, struggle with infertility or have wayward children, for whom this time of year can be quite painful.

Annie’s Mother’s Day pages have several neat links. I especially liked What the Bible Says About Mothers.

Anna Jarvis is regarded as the founder of Mother’s Day. The purpose she had in mind was:

..To revive the dormant filial love and gratitude we owe to those who gave us birth. To be a home tie for the absent. To obliterate family estrangement. To create a bond of brotherhood through the wearing of a floral badge. To make us better children by getting us closer to the hearts of our good mothers. To brighten the lives of good mothers. To have them know we appreciate them, though we do not show it as often as we ought…

Mothers Day is to remind us of our duty before it is too late.

This day is intended that we may make new resolutions for a more active thought to our dear mothers. By words, gifts, acts of affection, and in every way possible, give her pleasure, and make her heart glad every day, and constantly keep in memory Mothers Day; when you made this resolution, lest you forget and neglect your dear mother, if absent from home write her often, tell her of a few of her noble good qualities and how you love her.

“A mother’s love is new every day.”

God bless our faithful good mothers.

So many times these days the focus is on “how to be a better mother” on Mother’s Day rather than honoring one’s own mother. There is nothing wrong with writings and sermons about how to be a better mother — I know I certainly need them. But I think that focus can make this day all the more painful for those mentioned above who have lost children or can’t have children.

What if you don’t feel your mother is worthy of honor? The command to honor our fathers and mothers is just that — a command. I don’t think I ever felt my mother unworthy, but in my teens I did struggle for a brief while with respecting my parents. One day after a sermon on “Children, obey your parents,” it occurred to me that the two passages that teach that (Ephesians 6:1-3 and Colossians 3:20) do not qualify the command (obey if they are saved, if they are perfect, if they do everything just right, if they deserve it). I realized that all of the commands about relationships in the rest of those passages were not dependent on the other person doing his or her part. We’re supposed to do our part whether the other one does or not. I was supposed to obey my parents and respect their position as my parents. I had to apologize for my attitude, and the Lord enabled me to indeed honor them and respect them, and even to appreciate them and to be thankful for the life they gave me, the care they took of me, and so many more things. It showed in my attitude (I had never been allowed to “backtalk,” but there are other ways a disrespectful attitude can seep out), and the Lord healed the breach between my parents and me. I hope to write a tribute to my mom tomorrow. She passed away a year and a half ago, and I miss her terribly.

So I encourage you to truly honor your mom tomorrow. If she is no longer with you, you can honor her memory. That might even be a testimony to someone else.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Missionaries’ letters to mothers

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I have mentioned here many times the impact that reading missionary biographies has had on my life. Some of the tenderest letters I have ever read were from missionaries to their parents either after having answered the call to the field or after having left for the field. As a Christian parents, we want what the Lord wants for our children, yet our humanness would want our children close by. In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to include a few excerpts of these letters honoring parents.

Jim Elliot:

From his journal: “We left our moorings at the Outer Harbor Dock, San Pedro, California, at 2:06 p.m. today. Mom and Dad stood together watching at the pier side. As we slipped away Psalm 60:12 came to mind, and I called back, ‘Through our God we shall do valiantly.’ They wept some. I do not understand how God has made me. I didn’t even feel like weeping, and don’t, even now. Joy, sheer joy, and thanksgiving fill and encompass me.”

From his first letter to his parents after leaving: “I surely praised God for the way you both took my going. It is true that I know very little about how you feel at seeing me leave. All I understand is that it must be very keen, deep, and closely linked with all that this life involves for you. I pray for you whenever you come to mind, asking the ‘help that is from God’ for you both. You are as well a constant source of praise for all that you have given of yourselves for my sake. The will of God is always a bigger thing than we bargain for, but we must believe that whatever it involves, it is good, acceptable, and perfect.”

Hudson Taylor:

From his biography, The Growth of a Soul, by Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor: In the light of present privations [his mother] saw with painful clearness all that life in China might bring. And he was her only son.

Ah, that shrinking of mother-hearts! God only who made us fully understands. “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all,” how shall He not fathom the depth of even that anguish. Yes, He has borne it too. God Himself suffered most for a sinning, sorrowing world, and He does not forget. He knows all it costs to give up home and loved ones and go alone to earth’s dark places to lay down life itself, it may be, in seeking souls for whom the Saviour died. And He knows too the sacrifice of those who cannot go, but send their dearest…and with bleeding, thankful hearts look up into His face…saying truly, “I have nothing too precious for Jesus.”

[Hudson] did not blame this mother that for a moment she seemed to waver. It is only “through the Eternal Spirit” such sacrifices can ever be unreservedly offered. And for the passing hesitation we may well be thankful, seeing it called forth the following, that might not otherwise have been written:

Do not let anything unsettle you, dear Mother. Missionary work is indeed the noblest mortals can engage in… We certainly cannot be insensible to the ties of nature, but should we not rejoice when we have anything we can give up for the Saviour? You would be far more unsettled if I were to turn away from this work, and if the Lord were to withdraw His restraining grace and I fell into sin in consequence, would you not? It is all of His mercy that I am preserved from many of the pitfalls that ensnare other young men.

As to my health, I think I never was so well and hearty in my life. [He then goes into great detail about his eating habits.] I am enlarging on these trifles, thought they are not worth writing about, because I know they will interest you and perhaps help you to feel more settled about me…

Continue to pray for me, dear Mother. Though comfortable as regards temporal matters, and happy and thankful, I feel I need your prayers…Oh Mother, I cannot tell you, I cannot describe how I long to be a missionary; to carry the Glad Tidings to poor, perishing sinners; to spend and be spent for Him who died for me. I feel as if for this I could give up everything, every idol, however dear.

Think, Mother, of twelve millions — a number so great that it is impossible to realise it — yes, twelve million souls in China, every year, passing without God and without hope into eternity. Oh, what need for earnestness in the Church and in individual believers!

Oh, it is a noble, an honourable calling! I feel my utter unworthiness and unfitness for it. I want more of the Divine life, more of the Spirit of God to make me a faithful servant and witness. Oh for more grace, love, faith, zeal, holiness!…

I must conclude. Would you not give up all for Jesus who died for you? Yes, Mother, I know you would. God be with you and comfort you.

Amy Carmichael:

Amy Carmichael’s father had passed away, and Amy, as the oldest child, was a help to her mother in many ways. She had also become something of an “adopted” daughter to a friend of the family, Robert Wilson, also affectionately know as “Fatherie” or “theD.O.M.” (Dear Old Man). These two factors made her hesitate, at first, in accepting the call to the mission field. It must be remembered also that in that day both the communication and travel situations would make mother and daughter feel even farther away (in fact, if I remember correctly, once Amy got to India she never returned home, though her mother did visit her there.)

She wrote to her mother:

My Precious Mother,

Have you given your child unreservedly to the Lord for whatever He wills?…

Oh may He strengthen you to say “Yes” to Him if He asks something which costs.

Darling Mother, for a long time as you know the thought of those dying in the dark — 50,000 of them every day, while we at home live in the midst of blazing light — has been very present with me, and the longing to go to them, and tell them of Jesus, has been strong upon me. ..

But home claims seemed to say “Stay”, and I thought it was His Will; it was perhaps til yesterday. I can’t explain it, but lately the need seems to have come closer, and I wrote down a few days ago…why I am not going.

1. Your need of me, my Mother.
2. The great loneliness it would mean to my dear second Father.
3. The thought that by staying I might make it easier for others to go if He called.
4. My not being strong.

But in His sight are these four things worth staying from those poor heathen for? You have given me three-quarters up as it is. My dear old Fatherie is the Lord’s wholly, he would not let me kept out just for him. The other two things surely I could trust about. Still, they seemed to say “Stay”.

Yesterday suddenly the impulse came to have a good talk with my dear Fatherie…and after it I went to my own room and just asked the Lord what it all meant, what did He wish me to do, and, Mother, as clearly as I ever heard you speak, I heard Him say,

“GO YE.”

I never heard it just so plainly before.; I cannot be mistaken, for I know He spoke. He says “Go”, I cannot stay.

Mother, I feel as if I had been stabbing someone I loved. It is Friday now, I could not finish this yesterday, and through all the keen sharp pain which has come since Wednesday, the certainty that it was His voice…has never wavered; though all my heart has shrunk from what it means…the certainty is there…nothing but that sure word, His word, could make it possible to do it, for until he spoke, and I answered, “Yes, Lord”, I never knew what it would cost.

These are the verses He gave me…”If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it, and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it.” “He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

“To obey is better than sacrifice.”

Many difficulties have risen in my mind, they seem very great, the “crooked places” seem very crooked, but it seems to me that all He asks is that we should take the one step He shows us, and in simplest, most practical trust leave all results to Him.

Mother, I know that very few of our friends will think I am right. Those who don’t know the Shepherd’s Voice themselves will be quite sure I am very wrong and mistaken, but He has said, “Walk before Me, and be thou perfect.” He knows, and He won’t let me disnonour Him by making a mistake and following my own fancy instead of Him. If it is so, He will show it to me, but if it is His Will, I must do it.

There isn’t much of gladness in this letter, I’m afraid, but I don’t feel anything except sore at the pain this must bring to my loved ones.

Good-bye, my Mother. May He come very near to you and strengthen and comfort you.

Your Own Amy

P.S. Some of these things may cross your mind as they have mine.

What about leaving my God-given Father who does seem to need me a little? Cannot I trust Him to care for him? If He tells me to leave him, He won’t let him suffer. Clara Bradshaw met Hudson Taylor once, and he prayed, “Show this child of thine what blessing she is keeping from her own father” — by staying when He had called her.

If I stayed, might I not keep those dearest to me from God’s richest blessing? But this is a very hard bit to think of, I can hardly face it steadily yet.

“Health” you will think of. He won’t let that hinder if He has said, “Go”. Then as to the money — I don’t see clearly, but I believe He will show us about that. If He does not, I will take it that that means “stay”, for He could not mean me to let you suffer wrongly. But I think soon the boys will be able to help.

Forgive me for the length of this post, but I can’t leave out the response of Amy’s mother:

My Own Precious Child,

He Who hath led will lead
All through the wilderness,
He Who hath fed will surely feed…
He Who hath heard thy cry
Will never close His ear,
He Who hath marked Thy faintest sigh
Will not forget thy tear.
He loveth always, faileth never,
So rest on Him today — for ever.

Yes, dearest Amy, He has lent you to me all these years. He only knows what a strength, comfort and joy you have been to me. In sorrow He made you my staff and solace, in loneliness my more than child companion, and in gladness my bright and merry-hearted sympathizer. So, darling, when He asks you now to go away from within my reach, can I say nay? No, no, Amy, He is yours — you are His — to take you where He pleases and to use you as He pleases. I can trust you to Him, and I do — and I thank Him for letting you hear His voice as you have done. I shall not speak of your dear loving letter or my feelings. How weak we are. But He knows our frame, and remembers. “Go ye” — my heart echoes. “Oh send forth Thy light and Thy truth, let them lead me — let them bring me into Thy holy hill and to Thy tabernacles”, met my eye as I opened my Bible — do you see what the holy hill and tabernacles meant to me in this connection? I never saw it before — and then in the next page comes, “Therefore God has blessed thee for ever.” All day He has helped me, and my heart unfailingly says, “Go ye.” He only knows what this means and will mean to me — to you — to us all. I dare not think — but His grace is sufficient, Amy. Let us keep our eye on Him — and then no wave will swamp us — and He will bear us up in His arms. Oh, isn’t is strange we are not more cheerfully willing followers — to think of His wonderful everlasting love to us, and how little He ever asks in return. Amy, darling, today I got a moment’s glimpse of it all, and how small this life seemed. When we are dying, how very little will it seem that He has asked us to give up for Him. So, my precious Child, I give you back into His loving arms, saying from the depths of my being, “Take her, dear Lord — Thou wilt take the most loving care of her, use her in Thy service and for Thy glory now and where Thou pleasest, for Christ’s sake. Amen.”

For dear Mr. Wilson I feel so much, perhaps more than for myself, but God has his happiness in His keeping. He cannot and will not make a mistake. All other points are minor and must wait — the one thought has been enough today. One step is all that I am equal to — all else will be clear. “The Lord is mt Shepherd, I shall not want.” “Goodness and mercy shall follow me” — and those who trust — “all the days of my life”, and we shall all gather from the north, south, east and west in His home above, and will cast our crowns at His feet, saying “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honour and glory and blessing.” Til then may we each one be found faithful.

Ever my darling child’s loving Mother.

For days, it seems to me now, the Lord has been preparing the way, Amy, for your letter.

From Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur by Frank Houghton

You can read more about Amy Carmichael’s mother here.

Kids answer questions about moms

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This has been in my files for years — I don’t know where it originally came from. These are questions put to elementary-aged children about moms. Some of their answers are pretty cute. Enjoy!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.