Book Reviewed: Unglued

Posted on January 16, 2014 by Barbara Harper

Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst was one of those books I heard good things about, got when it was either free or on sale for the Kindle app, and then let sit there for months. I’m not sure what prompted me to read it now, but I am glad I did.

The subtitle is Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. Most of us have had experiences with out-of-control emotions, both externally from others or internally within ourselves. Some of us are “exploders” who lash out at others in some way, and some of us are “stuffers” who seethe inside, or some combination of the two.

Emotions in themselves aren’t wrong: God gave them to us for various reasons. But just like with the rest of His gifts, we can use them in wrong ways.

Lysa starts with the idea of making “imperfect progress.” Sometimes we beat ourselves up over missteps and failures, but we need to remember it’s okay to take baby steps and to get up and start over as many times as needed, as long as we’re moving forward.

A big part of diffusing our emotions is taking control of the thoughts that feed them. “We won’t develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. That’s why renewing our minds with new thoughts is crucial. New thoughts come from new perspectives” (p. 22K – the K means Kindle version. I’m not sure if the page numbers are the same in the book itself). “Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuse thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old thought patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ’s truth to change them: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” (p. 23K).

The other biggest factor in getting our emotions under control is spending time in God’s Word, and Lysa shares many applicable Scriptures.

Here are some other helpful quotes:

“I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control” (p. 23).

“Could I trust God and believe He is working out something good even from things that seem no good? You see, if I know there is a potential good hidden within each chaotic situation, I can loosen my grip on control” (p. 24K).

“We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God” (p. 28K).

“Instead of condemning myself with statements like, I’m such a mess, I could say, Let God chisel. Let Him work on my hard places so I can leave the dark places of being stuck and come into the light of who He designed me to be” (p. 37K).

“I choose to view this circumstance as a call to action, not a call to beat myself up mentally” (p. 40K).

“In processing unglued reactions, soul integrity if the heart of what we’re after. Soul integrity is honesty that’s godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other” (p. 52K).

“I stuff to protect myself by keeping conflict at bay. But if I’m stuffing and not being honest about my true feelings, that self-protection quickly turns into selfishness, and the unresolved conflict gives birth to bitterness” (p. 56K).

“Choosing a gentle reply doesn’t mean you’re weak; it actually means you possess a rare and godly strength” (p. 69K).

“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn’t dictate how I react. I have a choice” (p. 72K).

“We must spend time with God, letting His truths become part of who we are and how we live. That’s what it means to have an internal experience with Him. Only then will we develop holy restraint” (p. 75).

“I acknowledge that I can only control myself. I can’t control how another person acts or reacts. Therefore, I shift my focus from trying to fix the other person and the situation to allowing God to reveal some tender truths to me…My job isn’t to fix the difficult people in my life or enable them to continue disrespectful or abusive behaviors. My job is to be obedient to God in the way I act and respond to those people” (p. 88K).

“I stuff as a false way to keep the peace. True peacekeeping isn’t about stopping the emotion. Remember, emotions move inward or outward – whether we want them to or not. True peacekeeping is about properly processing the emotions before they get stuffed and rot into something horribly toxic” (p. 91).

“Is my desire in this conflict to prove that I am right, or is my desire to improve the relationship?” (p. 92K).

“Instead of reacting out of anger, I pause and let the Holy Spirit redirect my first impulses. Then I tackle the issues – not the person” (p. 93).

“It is through God’s ‘great and precious promises’ (2 Peter 1:3-8) that I can participate in the divine nature. A nature very different from my own. I may not be gentle by nature, but I can be gentle by obedience. If – and only if – I equip myself with predetermined Biblical procedures that I can rely on when I start to feel the great unglued coming on” (pp. 104-105K).

“I started thinking that maybe I needed my own set of default procedures for when selfishness, pride, impatience, anger, or bitterness rear their ugly heads. Because in the moment I feel them, I feel justified in feeling them and find them hard to battle. But God’s promises – His truths and examples from Scripture – are powerful enough to redirect me to the divine nature I’m meant to have. Having a predetermined plan from Him will help me stay calmer when I start to feel unglued. More godly. More in line with Scripture” (p. 107K).

That’s probably way too many quotes – and that’s not even all I marked. But I hope some of them spoke to you as they spoke to me.

This is the first book by Lysa Terkeurst I’ve read, though I have two more on hand. I enjoyed her style, and I gleaned much from this one (I even went skimmed back through it after I finished to remind myself of some of the main points).

There were places where I didn’t agree with something she said, but I instead of going into them here, I’ll refer you to this review for more detail. Reading it has made me rethink this book.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Christian Fans

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I’m not going to get into the remarks make by a professing Christian reality show star a few weeks ago: there has been plenty written about that in the weeks since. But I did want to address something that has concerned me about Christian celebrity culture.

If there are Christians in the entertainment and sports world who can let their light shine for Christ without compromising their conscience or standards or testimony, that’s wonderful. They may not do and say everything just like I would, but that’s fine – that could probably be said of all of us, and God doesn’t make cookie-cutter Christians. What concerns me is not the famous Christians out there making news: what concerns me is their Christian fan base.

Some months ago (probably years, now), when another Christian was in the media spotlight, some folks I know were discussing him on Facebook. A loved one left a verse in the comments indicating that he wasn’t totally behind one of his practices. He didn’t rail about him, discredit him, or leave a lengthy diatribe; he just left one verse, but it was a verse that seemed to go against what the man was doing. Instead of drawing the commenter out with questions and having intelligent further discussion, the fans of this man harshly turned on the commenter like hungry dogs on raw meat. These were people that this loved one knew personally and had gone to church with. (Is it any wonder that this loved one isn’t so interested in church these days?) And I thought, how sad that people will defend at all costs a media personage, even a Christian one, who will never know them or care about them, at the expense of a relationship with someone they know and are supposed to love in their very own church and community.

I saw some similar things happen after this last situation: fans and non-fans started drawing up sides for and against the Christian celebrity and fans took any opposing viewpoint as a criticism and defended their man, sometimes without much grace for their “real life” acquaintances.

If I may, I’d like to share some thoughts about Christian fandom:

1. Not everyone will like the same program or person that we do. If you talk much to people (and social media perhaps makes it more possible to toss around opinions on a variety of things), you’re going to run into people with differences of opinion on just about everything under the sun. There are some fundamental issues we can’t budge on (but even those we can discuss with grace with those who differ), but we need to learn that on secondary issues, and especially something as low on the scale as liking a celebrity, we can show grace to someone with a differing viewpoint. We all know people who come down on the opposite sides of some issues of importance to us, and both sides can love God, extend grace to each other, and be friends.

2. A difference of opinion about something a celebrity did or said is not necessarily an “attack.” Even if it were, is attacking back the right way to respond? Like any other difference of opinion, we should be able to discuss the issues and at least come to understand the other’s viewpoint even if we can’t totally agree with it. If one side or the other gets too heated about it, it’s best to “agree to disagree” and drop it.

3. We need to keep Biblical relationships in mind. If we feel the need to defend “our guy,” we need to do so with grace and remember that the friend (even the Facebook friend), neighbor, or fellow church member we’re interacting with is a person we’re supposed to exercise Biblical “one anothers” with, not someone we harbor hard feelings against because they said something on Facebook that opposed the guy we’re fans of.

Dictionary.com lists one definition for “fan” as “an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.,” and I don’t think it is wrong to be a fan of a public figure or to discuss or even promote him or her. But it also says “fan” can be short for “fanatic,” “a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal” with synonyms such as “zealot, bigot, hothead, militant.” We can be fans of a Christian celebrity without being so fanatical that we harm other relationships or let our own testimony shine more for our favored celebrity than for our Lord.

A New Year’s Prayer

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Barbara Harper

I saw this on Ellen‘s Facebook page yesterday, and it really resonated with me. It’s been dawning on me lately that, with my own family especially but with others as well (and even for myself), I tend to pray that whatever trial they’re going through will pass quickly and everything will work out for the best as soon as possible. That’s not wrong, I don’t think, but I often forget to pray that they’ll be strengthened in it, grow from it, see God in it, and learn whatever He has for them in allowing it. Sometimes in just wanting out of it we can miss the benefits of it.

A New Year’s Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,
and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

Anonymous

I pray the same for you! May 2014 be a year of growth and blessing and drawing ever nearer to our God.

Book Review: The Women of Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2013 by Barbara Harper

I like to read something devotional about Christmas during December, with the Scripture passages regarding Advent themselves and/or a devotional book. I’ve enjoyed Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus, compiled by Nancy Guthrie, a number of times and thought about picking it up again this year, but I kind of wanted something new and different. Then my friend Kim mentioned she was enjoying Liz Curtis Higgs’ book The Women of Christmas: Experience the Season Afresh with Elizabeth, Mary, and Anna. I have read several of Liz’s novels, but never one of her non-fiction books, so on Kim’s recommendation I decided to give this one a try.

It was just what I wanted this year. The book takes us thoughtfully through the Christmas passages of Scripture, focusing mainly, as the title indicates, on three women: Elizabeth is older, beyond the usual childbearing years, but finds herself miraculously expecting the forerunner of Christ. Mary is a young teenager, a virgin, yet she is told she will bear the Son of God. Anna is elderly yet still serves God with all her heart and life. Though Zacharias, Joseph, and Simeon are discussed as well, the main focus of the book is on how God worked in the lives of these women.

It’s obvious that Liz has put a wealth of study behind this book, but it’s not what I would call a technical book. She touches on some of the controversies and questions of the Christmas story but wisely doesn’t spend a lot of time speculating on that for which we have no answers. She brings and out meditates on the truth we can find from what God has told us in His Word and provides an opportunity to get a fresh viewpoint from passages so familiar that we can sometimes zip through them without stopping to think about the real implications for the real people in these real stories.

For instance, I never thought to wonder before why Mary went to see Elizabeth right after learning that she was going to bear Jesus. We can’t tell from the text how well they knew each other or whether they were close, though they are cousins. Elizabeth was quite a distance away from Mary. Yet when the angel, in his announcement to Mary, told her that her barren older cousin was pregnant, that must have been an encouragement to her that the God who did this impossible thing for Elizabeth could and would do the impossible thing the angel foretold for her as well. But it also provided her with someone who would understand something of what she was going through. There is no record that Mary told anyone about the angel’s announcement. We assume she told Joseph, though we don’t really know. But Elizabeth was the one person who would believe her about an angelic visit and a miraculous pregnancy.

A few quotes that stood out to me:

“Now consider this: the first person to hold the newborn Christ was Mary of Nazareth, and the first person to touch the newly risen Christ, however briefly, was Mary of Magdala. God placed himself in a woman’s care when he came to earth, then entrusted a woman to announce his resurrection when he came back to life.

“When I hear women rail that the Bible is misogynistic, I wonder if we’re reading the same book. God loves women, redeems women, empowers women – then and now. On the day we call Christmas, he could simply have arrived on earth, yet he chose to enter through a virgin’s womb. On the day we call Easter, he could have appeared first to his beloved disciple John, yet he chose as his first witness a woman set free from seven demons” (p. 122)

(On Mary’s bearing a child in a stable), “Given the circumstances, it’s surprising what we don’t find in the passage. She whined. She complained. She demanded better accommodations. Not our Mary. Even after giving birth to the Savior of the world, she didn’t insist on special treatment, didn’t fuss about there being ‘no space for them in the living-quarters'” (p. 124).

“On that day in Bethlehem, absolute abasement was bathed in breathtaking glory. Born the lowest of the low, the infant Jesus was the highest of the high” (p. 125).

(On the announcement by the angels to the shepherds), “We’ve seen countless Christmas cards and tabletop Natvity scenes with Jesus as a ‘newborn baby’ (CEB) dressed in ‘swaddling-clothes’ (KNOX) and ‘lying in a feeding trough’ (ERV). But we’ve had a lifetime to embrace that reality. Think of these men hearing it for the first time” (p. 130).

(After the shepherds told everyone about the baby on their way back to their sheep), “What about Mary? Did she run around Bethlehem, telling everyone about God’s Son? She did not. ‘But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.’ Luke 2:19. Mary focused on caring for her baby while she stored all she’d seen and done ‘like a secret treasure in her heart’ (NIrV). Some women like to talk their way through experiences; others prefer the Mary approach: ‘weighing and pondering’ (AMP), ‘mulling them over’ (CJB), and ‘trying to understand them’ (ERV)” (p. 136).

Note in the last quote that she didn’t say this was a better approach: just that it contrasted with the reaction of the shepherds and then later Anna. That was a blessing to me in this year of having read and heard a lot about introverts and extroverts: neither is better, God made both, and He works in and through both in different ways for His glory.

I’m so glad I read this book this year. It provided me with many quiet, meditative moments during the mornings of this Christmas season. I’m sure I’ll be using it again in years to come.

Save

Book Review: Save Me From Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story

Posted on December 4, 2013 by Barbara Harper

Save Me From Myself: How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story by Brian Welch wasn’t on my radar. I had heard of Korn, but I was never into metal music, never heard them, and did not know any of the band members’ names. But this book caught my eye when it was on sale for a low price for both the Kindle and audiobooks versions, so I thought I’d check it out. I was wary at first about how explicit he might have been about his former life, but Amazon reviews assured that he wasn’t graphic about it.

Brian grew up as an ordinary kid in Bakersfield, CA, who had a passion for music and was a part of several bands before Korn came together and exploded onto the music scene. He first tried drugs at the age of eight with a friend but didn’t get into them heavily until later on. By young adulthood he drank heavily, was addicted to meth, and sometimes tried other drugs. He says that meth was considered a “dirty’ drug but Xanax and prescription drugs were more respectable. He describes an ER doctor bringing drugs to the band, getting high with them all night, and then getting ready to go back to work at the ER the next morning (I would have hated to have been that guy’s patient).

Though he attained his childhood dream of becoming a rock star and loved performing, he found he was unsatisfied. There was an undercurrent of anger in his life beginning with his father’s “Mr. Hyde” moments and his own insecurities from being bullied as child. That was an aspect that caught me by surprise: I think we sometimes think of drug addicts as into it for pleasure and partying and don’t realize that they want the same things everyone else does: a home, a family, someone to love. When relationships fail and when life’s problems surface, it hurts them as deeply as anyone else, and they try to deal with the pain by anesthetizing it with drugs. But the drugs wear off, leaving them depressed, and they know they should stop, but they’re hooked. I also hadn’t realized that meth could leave a user severely depressed as they came off of it, perpetuating a vicious cycle of taking the drug again to numb the pain.

Brian quit several times, but after a time would try it again “just once,” and then “once in a while,” and before long he would be using regularly again. And before we scowl at that, we need to remember how often we’ve decided we need to “cut down” on sweets or TV or social media or whatever, only to pick it all back up again at the slightest provocation. It’s hard enough to break any habit, but when a drug is tailor-made to be physically and mentally addicting, getting off of it for good seems hopeless.

When Brian heard his five year old daughter singing around the house one of Korn’s songs about being addicted to sex, he felt something had to change, but he was so foggy from drug use that he couldn’t think clearly. He was suicidal much of the time that he wasn’t on drugs and felt that the drugs would do him in at some point, but he felt powerless to change anything.

Then God created a perfect storm to draw him to Himself: a real estate business partner who was a Christian shared a Scripture verse with him that spoke to his heart (Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”), he began to run into old friends who had become Christians, he attended a church service with a friend, and he gradually came to a point of believing for himself on the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. I was almost in tears at this part of the book.

Around the same time he felt he should quit Korn to focus on raising his daughter, and the rest of the book tells of his early “baby steps” as a Christian, his growth, trips to Israel and India, and working on new music.

Sometimes when a celebrity professes faith, we can be wary because we don’t know exactly what they’ve heard or why they’re responding, but as far as I can tell, Brian’s faith is the real deal. Do I agree with every little thing he wrote and has done since? No. 🙂 Some things he wrote caused me to think, “Wow, that’s some good insight,” but then a few paragraphs later I’d wince a bit. He had only been a believer for a couple of years or so when he wrote this, so I pray he will continue to grow in the Lord.

I know some of you would want to be forewarned that there is a bit of bad language scattered through the book. Most of you who have read here long know that the “f word” is usually a deal-breaker for me in books and films, particularly when it is thrown in gratuitously. It’s not just that I don’t like it (though I don’t: I loathe it), but I don’t want words like that floating around in my brain that can then come to the forefront at an inopportune moment, and the more I read them, the more likely it is that they’ll do just that. On the other hand, I have relatives who use such words, and I have to delete about every other post of theirs on Facebook because I don’t want that language on my screen and in my mind, but I can’t unfriend them, because they’re family, after all. I don’t want to be aloof from them and make them feel like they have to clean up their act before I’ll interact with them: that is the complete opposite of the grace of Jesus Christ. Sometimes we have to take people where they are. Brian did say at some point in the book that God was working on him about cussing, and hopefully as he grows in the Lord, God will speak to him about the language of Christians.

There is another issue I wanted to comment on mainly because I feel a responsibility when I mention a book here, because sometimes people have bought books on my recommendation, and I don’t want anyone to get the mistaken idea that I am promoting something in a book that I’m not. That issue in this book is speaking in tongues. The pastor and church Brian was initially under were not charismatic, but later he came under some charismatic teaching and followed it. I know there are good people on both sides of this issue: some of our relatives that we are closest to in other doctrinal issues we would differ from in this. I don’t doubt anyone’s salvation or sincerity if they speak in tongues (though we have had people doubt ours because we don’t), but I personally believe there is a good case for believing that some of the miraculous “sign” gifts like tongues, prophecies, etc., ceased once the Bible was completed. I wrestled with this a lot in my early Christian days after reading The Cross and the Switchblade and being exposed to some charismatic television. I even called in to the TV show one day, and I don’t remember if the person on the line asked me if I was saved or believed in the Lord: they asked me if I had spoken in tongues. They tried to get me to come out with a few syllables to get things going. Alone in my room I prayed that if this was something God had for me, that He would allow it to happen, and I was disappointed when nothing happened. It took me a while to realize He answered my prayer, and that He didn’t have that for me. I don’t think that the modern charismatic movement is much like the tongues-speaking in the book of Acts: there was no trying to work it up by mouthing a few syllables there, and according to Acts 2, the tongues were actual languages that the speaker didn’t know but the hearer did. I do agree with Brian when he writes that God is not going to love you more if you do or don’t speak in tongues.

I would also say to him, if I could, that though I understand his frustration over factions of Christians fighting over doctrinal issues, that doesn’t mean they’re not important and that we can chuck them overboard. The Bible has much to say about sound doctrine, and the apostles spent a lot of time correcting false doctrine. We are all at different stages of our understanding level and maturity level, so there are going to be differences of opinion. I’ve mentioned ere before that years ago when I read 50 People Every Christian Should Know by Warren Wiersbe, I was struck by the fact that many of the people he mentioned were on opposites sides of the fence on some issues, yet God mightily used all of them. That doesn’t mean those issues aren’t important: each of us is responsible to study them out before the Lord. But people can differ on some side issues and still be friends and love God and be greatly used by Him.

Brian’s style of writing is conversational and easy to read. I was immensely blessed by hearing how God brought Brian to Himself. I was a little dismayed to read that in recent years he has gone back to playing with Korn, in that the lifestyle as well as the lyrics of their old songs (at least what little I know of them from what he says of them) do not seem conducive to Christian life and growth. I hope he’s not setting himself up for a fall. Yes, as he said in an interview, Jesus did hang out with sinners, but the Bible also tells us there are some things to flee and some things to follow. But I do pray he continues to grow in the Lord and to shine for Him, and I wish him all the best.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Thanksgiving Bible Study

Posted on November 24, 2013 by Barbara Harper

This is a Bible study on Thanksgiving I did a few years ago. It is by no means an exhaustive study: it’s just a result of looking up “thanks” and “thanksgiving” in an online concordance. Many of the passages would fit under multiple headings and I am sure there are others that could be added. But this is a good start. It would be profitable to study many of these verses within the context of the passages they came from.

And when ye will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving unto the LORD, offer it at your own will. Leviticus 22:29.

As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7.

It is a sacrifice:

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. Hebrews 13:15.

It is often a testimony to others of God’s person and work:

That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. Psalm 26:7

I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving. This also shall please the LORD better than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs. Psalm 69:30-31.

Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf. II Corinthians 1:11.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. II Corinthians 4:15.

For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God; Whiles by the experiment of this ministration they glorify God for your professed subjection unto the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men; And by their prayer for you, which long after you for the exceeding grace of God in you. II Corinthians 9:12-14.

And all the angels stood round about the throne, and about the elders and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped God, Saying, Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen. Revelation 7:11-12.

Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. I Chronicles 16: 8-9.

And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. I Chronicles 16:35.

So we thy people and sheep of thy pasture will give thee thanks for ever: we will shew forth thy praise to all generations. Psalm 79:13.

It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most high: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night. Psalm 92:1-2.

Often coupled with joy and singing:

And at the dedication of the wall of Jerusalem they sought the Levites out of all their places, to bring them to Jerusalem, to keep the dedication with gladness, both with thanksgivings, and with singing, with cymbals, psalteries, and with harps. Nehemiah 12:27.

Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. I Chronicles 16: 8-9.

Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:2-4.

Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God. Psalm 147:6.

Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name. Psalm 18:49

Psalm 93:1-3;

Often coupled with prayer:

Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High: And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. Psalm 50:14-15.

I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:17.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2.

Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16.

A result of meditating on God’s Word:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Colossians 3:16-17.

A result of being filled with the Spirit:

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:18-21.

Reasons to thank the Lord:

It’s commanded:

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. Psalm 100:4.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2.
His greatness, His creation:

O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also.
The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land.
Psalm 95: 1-5

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing. Psalm 107:21-22.

His comfort:

For the LORD shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody. Isaiah 51: 3.

His bountiful supply:

Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. II Corinthians 9:11.
His unspeakable gift:

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. II Corinthians 9:15.

Meat:

Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. I Timothy 4:3-5; Matthew 15:36

Deliverance from enemies:

And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man. Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name. II Samuel 22:49-50

And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. I Chronicles 16:35.

Psalm 18:48-50

His goodness:

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever. I Chronicles 16:34; Ezra 3:11; Psalm 106:1; 107:1; 118:1, 29; 136.

His holiness:

Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. Psalm 30:4.

His deliverance from sorrow:

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever. Psalm 30:11-12

His righteous judgments:

At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. Psalm 119: 62.

Victory over death:

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 15:56-57.

Causing us to triumph, making Himself known through us:

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. II Corinthians 2:14.

His working through other people:

But thanks be to God, which put the same earnest care into the heart of Titus for you. II Corinthians 8:16.

Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16.

We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, Since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus, and of the love which ye have to all the saints. Col. 1:2-4

I Thessalonians 1:1-3; 3:9-10; II Thessalonians 2:13-14.

Saving us:

Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:12-14.

All things:

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20.

In everything:

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thessalonians 5:18.

Authorities:

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour. I Timothy 2:1-3.

His power and reign:

Saying, We give thee thanks, O LORD God Almighty, which art, and wast, and art to come; because thou hast taken to thee thy great power, and hast reigned Revelation 11:17.

Results in worship:

And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever, The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. Revelation 4:9-11.

Other passages:

Psalm 105:1-3

Getting in tune

Posted on November 21, 2013 by Barbara Harper

“Some people seem to think that if they set apart certain definite days for praise, it is enough. For example, they will be grateful for a whole day once in the year—thinking that this is the way God wants them to show their gratitude. But the annual Thanksgiving Day is not intended to gather into itself the thanksgiving for a whole year; rather it is intended to give the keynote for all the year’s life. Life’s true concert pitch, is praise. If we find that we are below the right pitch, we should take advantage of particular thanksgiving seasons to get keyed up. That is the way people do with their pianos—they have them tuned now and then, when the strings get slack and the music begins to grow discordant—and it is quite as important to keep our life in tune as our piano.” – J.R. Miller

Book Review: A Severe Mercy

Posted on November 7, 2013 by Barbara Harper

There are several tracks of interest in A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. The first is his love story with his wife, nicknamed Davy, her death, and how he dealt with it (no spoiler there: it’s mentioned up front and the whole book is colored by her death). The second is their journey from condescending atheism to Christianity, and the third is their friendship with C. S. Lewis.

The book begins, of course, with their meeting and falling quickly in love. They had a penchant for naming everything: cars, houses, events, periods in their history. They constructed what they called the Shining Barrier around their love:

The Shining Barrier – the shield of our love. A walled garden. A fence around a young tree to keep the deer from nibbling it. An fortified place with the walls and watchtowers gleaming white like the cliffs of England. The Shining Barrier – we called it so from the first – protecting the green tree of our love. And yet in another sense, it was our love itself, made strong within, that was the Shining Barrier (p. 36).

They promised to share everything in life, even to the point of deciding not to have children (because they couldn’t share in that experience equally and a child might divert their love for each other) and declaring that one would not die without the other.

They called this their pagan love, this era their pagan days, either because they were not believers at this time, or they made idols out of each other and their love, or both.

They had the opportunity to go to Oxford for a time and there met some fellow students who were Christians. They had been rather scornful of Christianity to this point, but these friends were kind, intellectual, wonderful to talk to, and they decided perhaps they should study Christianity out just to find out for themselves what they believed about it and to be fair. They read Pilgrim’s Progress, Augustine’s Confessions, and a multitude of other books, but the ones that impacted them the most were C. S. Lewis’s, who “could…swiftly cut through anything that even approached fuzzy thinking” (pp. 108-109). Vanauken wrote to Lewis a couple of times with questions which Lewis graciously answered. The book details their thought processes during this time, with Davy coming to believe first and Sheldon a couple of months later.

They thrived and grew for months, but eventually realized that Christianity itself was a breach to their “Shining Barrier.” After a while Sheldon “wanted life itself, the colour and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to. I didn’t want us to be swallowed up in God….But for Davy, to live was Christ…His service was her freedom, her joy” (p. 136). He was jealous of her relationship with God and resented the intrusion of love for Christ for a time but, admitting one “cannot be only ‘incidentally a Christian.’ The fact of Christianity must be overwhelmingly first or nothing,” he eventually came to the point of realizing and being willing for full surrender himself.

Then vague symptoms Davy was having became a serious illness and then a terminal one, and the author shares the details and struggles of that time. He felt the “severe mercy” was God’s taking Davy from him in light of the fact that he still had a tendency to idolize her and their love. Perhaps. We don’t see the whole picture as God does, nor can we know all of His purposes for what He does. Davy was willing to go, even offered up her life to God for Sheldon, and God’s answer to that prayer was evidently what was best for both of them. “[Her death] saved our love from perishing in one of the other ways that love could perish. Would I not rather our love go through death than hate?”

They had visited with C. S. Lewis several times while in Oxford and their correspondence with him continued. It was interesting viewing him as someone’s friend and the impressions he made when he came to their apartment. Some 18 of his letters are included in the book. I enjoyed seeing a dashed-off note sprinkled with abbreviations yet still full of razor-sharp wit and clarity. His encouragement in Sheldon’s grief came full circle when he married Joy Davidson, came to love her, and then saw her through illness and death. Though grieving, Sheldon and Lewis both saw death as “an act which consummates, not…merely stops, the earthly life” (p. 183).

It took me a while to get into the book. My more left-brained practicality couldn’t quite fathom some of the more right-brained conversations they had at first. But after a while much in the book resonated and inspired me, especially their journey to faith and its implications on their lives. I wouldn’t agree with every little point in their theology and doctrine but I don’t feel the need to dissect that here: most of my quibbles were minor. I did enjoy each of the tracks of interest.

(This will also be linked to Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books.)

Tense anticipation

Posted on November 4, 2013 by Barbara Harper

When my mother-in-law first started losing muscle strength and tone, going from a walker to a wheelchair to not being able to feed herself to “total assist,” in the physical therapist’s parlance, it seemed as if her muscles were getting limper and weaker. Now some of them are getting strong in the wrong way. When muscles are disused, they can get contracted. She received physical therapy for a few weeks in the nursing home until she “plateaued,” got to a place where they felt they were not going to see any more improvement. The aides were supposed to continue range-of-motion exercises, but being overworked and understaffed, this was neglected, especially during time she developed a pressure sore and had to remain in bed for weeks. We didn’t realize the extent of the need nor the neglect until she already started contracting. We didn’t know to keep on top of it because we thought they were doing everything they were supposed to do. When she was released from the nursing home, her legs would no longer straighten out completely and both arms tended to be drawn up to her chest.

She received physical therapy at home for four weeks, which helped, but the PT told us it was unlikely that her limbs would get completely uncontracted. They did improve, but she still keeps her left arm pulled up tightly to her chest most of the time. That makes changing clothes and cleaning hard for both her and her caregiver.

A new problem developed in the last few weeks: two fingers on her right hand began contracting, called Dupuytren’s contracture. It is extremely painful to even have the fingers moved. We have a home health nurse who comes out once a week, and she arranged for an occupational therapist to work with her fingers and arm. Of course, he has to gently but persistently open her fingers, try to stretch them out, and massage the offending tendon in her palm, and of course this about sends her through the roof in pain. She was cooperative the first time he came and even laughed and joked a little, but each visit seems to get a little harder. When she sees him she knows it is going to hurt, so she tenses up in anticipation, which makes it worse. The OT and the aide spend most of the therapy session encouraging her to relax. She can relax her arm and fingers, and when she just relaxes and lets him work and works with him, the whole session goes much better and isn’t nearly as painful. But it is hard for her to understand that or to remember it in the midst of discomfort and pain. The last time the OT was here, her muscles were tensing before he even got started.

I have to admit it’s very hard to watch her in pain, especially when she looks at me like, “WHY don’t you do something?! Why are you letting him do this to me?” I’ve even wondered, “Is this worth it? Should we just let her be?” But without some intervention she would get more contracted and in more pain. Plus the crease in her elbow and her closed hands are more prone to skin breakdown and infection if they are not opened up. Even now the aide has to be careful to wash her hands often because she gets a sour smell in them from their being closed up.

A brace is supposed to be on order (sometimes it takes a while to get things through the doctor, insurance company, and Medicare) which will help keep her hand open naturally and hopefully help over the long haul.

I’d appreciate your prayers for her about this, especially for her OT sessions.

There were some lessons for me, though, in my mother-in-law’s latest therapy session. My mind often goes into, “What’s the worst that can happen?” scenarios. If I am catching a cold, it’s probably going to turn into strep throat and lay me out for a week: if someone is late coming home, maybe they were in an accident, etc. I’m much better about that kind of thing than I used to be, but my mind still runs in those tracks sometimes, scaring myself to death with “What ifs?” I wrote an earlier post titled “When Afraid to Surrender” about the fear we sometimes have that if we truly surrender everything to the Lord, He might ask us to undergo some great trial. He does do that to people sometimes. Just ask Job, or Joni Eareckson Tada, or any number of other people. Even knowing that God has many purposes for allowing suffering doesn’t make us look forward to the prospect.

But He doesn’t want us to live in rigid anticipation, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Whatever He allows – and I am convinced every Christian undergoes trials of some kind, whether physical ailments, relationship or family issues, financial struggles, or something else – we know He has a purpose in allowing it and has promised to be with us and to give us His grace as we need it (not before it is needed).

Perhaps you’ve heard of someone who fell or was in an accident that was made worse because they threw their arms straight out ahead of them to brace themselves, and their arms or wrists were broken. I had a tumbling class in college P.E., and our teacher said if you are about to fall, the best thing you can do is roll with it. That tense rigidity only causes harm. It lessens the joy in life we should be experiencing now. It hinders whatever God is trying to do. Like the occupational therapist, He has to gently, patiently, and persistently work with the very areas that are the most painful in order to accomplish the needed good. Tension against His working only makes it harder and more painful: relaxing into His care allows Him to accomplish His purposes with much less pain and fear. He is not just a therapist: He is a loving Father who wants our good.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:3-4

(Sharing with Tell His Story)

New lyrics to “So Send I You”

Posted on November 3, 2013 by Barbara Harper

When I was a teenager, the hymn “So Send I You” was sung sometimes when a missionary was there to speak at a service or, more often, at a service when the emphasis was a call to “full-time” Christian ministry. I didn’t think the lyrics were depressing at the time: they just seemed like a serious and sober look at a calling that would probably be hard. But they do seem to emphasis the hardships and neglect the joys:

So send I you to labor unrewarded,
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown,
To bear rebuke, to suffer scorn and scoffing-
So send I you to toil for Me alone.

So send I you to bind the bruised and broken,
O’er wand’ring souls to work, to weep, to wake,
To bear the burdens of a world aweary-
So send I you to suffer for My sake.

So send I you to loneliness and longing,
With heart ahung’ring for the loved and known,
Forsaking home and kindred, friend and dear one-
So send I you to know My love alone.

So send I you to leave your life’s ambition,
To die to dear desire, self-will resign,
To labor long, and love where men revile you-
So send I you to lose your life in Mine.

So send I you to hearts made hard by hatred,
To eyes made blind because they will not see,
To spend, tho’ it be blood, to spend and spare not-
So send I you to taste of Calvary.

As the Father hath sent Me, so send I you.

Evidently the author, Margaret Clarkson, eventually recognized the lack of balance in the hymn and penned new lyrics later in her life.

She was born into an unhappy home, was bed-bound with juvenile arthritis when she was three, and suffered migraines and vomiting. Pain was a constant companion, but she was able to attend school and become a teacher. She couldn’t find a position until she accepted one at an isolated mining camp, where general loneliness was a factor, but spiritual loneliness especially overshadowed her as she said she had no real Christian fellowship for about seven years. “So Send I You” was written at this time, colored by her loneliness and pain, and probably pretty accurate for her circumstances at the time.

Some years later, though still battling pain, she found other teaching positions and began having her writing published. She came to believe “So Send I You” was one-sided, and wrote new lyrics that she felt were more biblically balanced between the trials and joys of the Christian life under-girded by God’s grace:

So send I you-by grace made strong to triumph
O’er hosts of hell, o’er darkness, death, and sin,
My name to bear, and in that name to conquer-
So send I you, my victory to win.

So send I you-to take to souls in bondage
The word of truth that sets the captive free,
To break the bonds of sin, to loose death’s fetters-
So send I you, to bring the lost to me.

So send I you-my strength to know in weakness,
My joy in grief, my perfect peace in pain,
To prove My power, My grace, My promised presence-
So send I you, eternal fruit to gain.

So send I you-to bear My cross with patience,
And then one day with joy to lay it down,
To hear My voice, “well done, My faithful servant-
Come, share My throne, My kingdom, and My crown!”

“As the Father hath sent Me, so send I you.”

It does make a difference where our focus is.

A longer biography of Margaret is here.

I found a simple but nice rendition of the new lyrics here (I’m not familiar with the singer):