dependence on God | Stray Thoughts

I don’t consider myself to be good at public speaking. Even in a few interviews I’ve done, when I’m responding and not talking by myself, I don’t feel I do well. I don’t think quickly “on my feet.” It takes me a moment to process and respond (which is one reason I like writing better).

The nerves usually calm down exponentially once I get started. But for days afterward, I think of things I should have said or could have said better.

But I want to be faithful with opportunities the Lord gives me. So when they come, I spend time in prayer while I prepare. It comforts me that Paul told the Corinthians that he had been with them “in weakness and in fear and much trembling” (1 Corinthians 2:3), though it probably wasn’t public speaking itself that made him feel that way.

Hopefully, these skills will improve over time.

I told someone recently that these things would be so much easier if I could turn off the nervousness. But then I realized those nerves probably keep me dependent on the Lord, so ultimately they’re good.

When we’re asked to do something that we’re not sure we can do, that feels too big for us, that isn’t in an area where we feel gifted, it’s almost instinctive to run to the Lord.

When we attempt something that we failed at before, we plead for and depend on the Lord’s help.

When we know we might be facing a big temptation in an area where we’re weak, we fortify ourselves with prayer and Scripture.

But what about the areas where we feel strong, where we feel our best gifts are, where we feel we can function well? Those things that we do without even thinking to pray?

It’s not that we can’t approach some tasks with confidence or the assurance that comes from experience. But we often forget we need God’s help in those areas, too. Whatever gifts we have, He gave them to us. We don’t hold them in perfection yet: we’re still growing and learning. Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

One of the most chilling Scripture passages to me is the story of Uzziah in 2 Chronicles 26. He began to reign in Judah at the age of sixteen. “And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father Amaziah had done.He set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper” (verses 4 and 5).

The next several verses tell about Uzziah’s victory in battle, his buildings, herds, crops, army, and machines. He was skilled in many areas. “And his fame spread far, for he was marvelously helped, till he was strong” (verse 15).

“But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense” (verse 16).

It’s sadly possible to receive God’s grace and help for a task and then get puffed up as if we accomplished what He wanted us to do on our own.

He forgot where his strength, gifts, and skills came from. His pride led to presumption. Only the priests were consecrated to burn incense in the temple. They withstood him. He got angry.

Then leprosy broke out on his forehead. In that era, leprosy required quarantine. He lived the rest of his days in a separate house, and his son reigned in his stead.

His situation reminds me a bit of Samson, who took his gifts casually and flirted with the wrong kind of woman who tried to find the secret of his strength in order to tell his enemies. When she told him the Philistines were coming for him, “he awoke from his sleep and said, ‘I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the Lord had left him” (Judges 16:20).

Jerry Bridges said in The Discipline of Grace, “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.”

Jeremiah 9:23-24 tells us, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight,’ declares the Lord.”

I don’t want to go about my tasks without God’s power. I want to remember that I don’t have anything except what I have received from Him. I want to be just as dependent on Him when I feel sure of myself as when I feel overwhelmed. I want to remember that every good gift comes from Him and is to be used for Him.

The prayer in the song “O Great God” is what I want to express for myself. The last stanza talks about living a life dependent on His grace, for His glory:

Some additional songs that help my thinking:

Lord, I Need You
All Glory Be to Christ
May Christ Be All
All My Boast Is In Jesus. I love the lines here that say, “O foolish pride, be crucified” and “Rise up, my soul, and bless the Lord. Who else is worthy?”

(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)

Here are some of the good reads found this week:

My Reconstructed Faith, HT to Challies. This is encouraging. “What I don’t often hear are stories of those who have reconstructed their faith. Since I couldn’t find many, I thought I would offer my own story of reconstruction after I abandoned Christianity for progressive Christianity.”

Debunk 8 Abortion Myths. “While Christians rejoice to see a step taken toward justice for unborn life, many of our neighbors are experiencing the decision as an existential threat. That angst gets channeled in attacks against religious groups, blaming them for what they understand to be a hypocritical and crippling national tragedy. Why are they so afraid? What can we do to help our friends, family, and coworkers understand why people of faith celebrate what they lament?”

A Declaration of Dependence, HT to Challies. “I am incredibly grateful for and deeply benefit from the Declaration of Independence penned by Thomas Jefferson; however, my soul needs to be stamped with deeper declaration daily: a declaration of dependence.”

Community: A Struggle to Fit In, HT to Challies. “When it comes to community in the church, many people feel like onlookers. For many, deep fellowship seems far off. Some feel excluded because they “do not fit in,” and others are unsure how to engage. In the church of Jesus, this should not be.”

40-Year-Old Moses vs. 80-Year-Old Moses, HT to The Story Warren. “Moses has gone from It makes sense that God would use me to Who am I that God would use me? And in that change, he demonstrates he’s now ready.”

Transformation of a Transgender Teen, HT to Challies. “Eva was in a church luncheon when she got an email from her 12-year-old daughter Grace. (Their names have been changed.) ‘Mom and Dad, I need to tell you I’m not actually a girl,’ she read. ‘My pronouns are they/them.'”

Pilgrimage to Dust, HT to Challies. “As saints united to Christ by faith, we follow after our Savior. Our bodies will continue to weaken in this life as we walk each day closer to death, but our story doesn’t end there either. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, we know we too walk towards something greater.”

In a World of Loud, Be a Whisperer. “There are so many women who seek to gain control over others by being loud. (Often, me included.) By demanding . . . by parading . . . by yelling . . . But the women who have had the most influence in my own life have taken a much softer approach.”

Chapters, Verses, and Their Five Avoidable Challenges. Chapter and verse divisions weren’t in the original manuscripts of the Bible. They were added later and are extremely helpful for finding references. But they can cause some problems, too, if we use them the wrong way.

The Unappreciated Blessing of Busyness. “Is busyness always a bad thing? Like every time? Always? Hmm. I think we can nuance this better. See, there’s a difference between busy and hurry. Busy is when you have a lot on your plate. Hurry is when you have too much on your plate.”

But we also sometimes have to learn How to Graciously Say No. “I’m a people pleaser. So in the moment, it’s easier just to say ‘yes’ when someone asks me to do something. But ‘yes’ is a check future me must cash. And that’s when the problems start…”

Why Would You Steal My Words When I Might Give Them Freely, HT to Linda. On plagiarism, intentional or accidental.

I can’t decide whether this is remarkable or scary. Maybe both. HT to Steve Laube.

Have a good Saturday!

Edited to add: I meant to mention that I’m being interviewed on Kurt and Kate Mornings on Moody Radio Florida on Tuesday, July 12, around 8:10 a.m. EDT or shortly thereafter. They want to talk about my blog post on regret. There’s a link on their page to listen live if you’d like to. Plus I’ll try to have someone record it like we did before. I’d appreciate your prayers!